Michael Gates's Blog, page 55
February 13, 2014
Brain Dump
Instructions:
Force a joking frog into launching fake gold ingots toward your girlfriend during menstruation. Under a robustly painted ceiling, seek a cache of silver filings as you misinterpret luggage tags and magical, body-built populations. In the future, watch for a goody-good contemplating the gutter with an ugly skin burst. Consider synthesizers as you invade the privacy of prosthesis recipients while pouring gin on a horde of TV-listing editors. Remember: coastal astringency suffocates figurative microsurgery sessions, so improvise a movie featuring thunderstruck tenants in their sweaty pajamas. At home, screen tranquilizing images of socializing extraterrestrials engaged in filleting. Consider undergarment prank efforts, but only with bittersweet benevolence. Then burrow into the backyard of the crankiest, most constipated chiropractor you can find. Slurp honey mustard while lounging in your nap chair and contemplating the budding intelligence of house plants and the savage greediness of persistent houseflies.
Force a joking frog into launching fake gold ingots toward your girlfriend during menstruation. Under a robustly painted ceiling, seek a cache of silver filings as you misinterpret luggage tags and magical, body-built populations. In the future, watch for a goody-good contemplating the gutter with an ugly skin burst. Consider synthesizers as you invade the privacy of prosthesis recipients while pouring gin on a horde of TV-listing editors. Remember: coastal astringency suffocates figurative microsurgery sessions, so improvise a movie featuring thunderstruck tenants in their sweaty pajamas. At home, screen tranquilizing images of socializing extraterrestrials engaged in filleting. Consider undergarment prank efforts, but only with bittersweet benevolence. Then burrow into the backyard of the crankiest, most constipated chiropractor you can find. Slurp honey mustard while lounging in your nap chair and contemplating the budding intelligence of house plants and the savage greediness of persistent houseflies.
February 12, 2014
Quote of the Day: Snow
"Change is one of the great things about snow. It has the same effect as Mardi Gras or Carnival. It is time-out from the ordinary. Like dressing up and dancing in the street, the snowed-on world is not simply the regular world with a covering over it, it is somewhere newly made and unknown, all familiarity erased into whiteness. And none of the every day rules apply. There are special dispensations -- you may not be able to go to school or work; if you do, there's nothing regular about it, everything is late, teachers don't arrive, appointments aren't kept, the ineluctable timetable of the day is suddenly eluctable."
--Jenny Diski
February 10, 2014
Word of the Day: popinjay
What's "the word I'm thinking of"? Today, it's...
popinjay [POP-in-jay] (noun)
A vain or conceited person
"When Victoria discovered that Friedrich had a whole album of photographic self portraits, she began to think of him as a bit of a popinjay."
~~~
TWITO, page 115!
popinjay [POP-in-jay] (noun)
A vain or conceited person
"When Victoria discovered that Friedrich had a whole album of photographic self portraits, she began to think of him as a bit of a popinjay."
~~~
TWITO, page 115!
February 9, 2014
Link Mania
Stuck in Sochi without an interpreter? Here are 10 Russian words to help you enjoy the Winter Olympics. Idiot li sneg? (идет ли снег?) or "is the snow going?"
I wish. If, like me, you're stateside and this long, cold, lonely winter has you down, maybe you could use some help ordering a drink. Try learning the language of the distillery.
Or maybe you just want to stay in and play Scrabble. If so, check out the 13 words that knocked out Scripps National Spelling Bee finalists. Three of them are included in my book!
I wish. If, like me, you're stateside and this long, cold, lonely winter has you down, maybe you could use some help ordering a drink. Try learning the language of the distillery.
Or maybe you just want to stay in and play Scrabble. If so, check out the 13 words that knocked out Scripps National Spelling Bee finalists. Three of them are included in my book!
February 6, 2014
Random Sequence
One hot summer Saturday, Ivan noticed that Mr. Crazy had left his window open and didn't appear to be at home. The gold watch was still on the table, glittering and calling to him, but out of reach.
Ivan had an idea.
He took a mop out of the closet and wrapped some duct tape around the end of the handle, making sure to leave some of the sticky side exposed. He reached out of his own window and poked the handle through the window of the apartment across the alley. He managed to get the watch to stick to the tape, and began to pull the mop handle back.
Just before he was able to grab the watch, though, it fell, disappearing into the shadows four stories below. There was a sickening, splintering sound, and the rumble of pigeons fluttering.
--from "The Man and the Watch" (by me), originally published in Hudson Current
Ivan had an idea.
He took a mop out of the closet and wrapped some duct tape around the end of the handle, making sure to leave some of the sticky side exposed. He reached out of his own window and poked the handle through the window of the apartment across the alley. He managed to get the watch to stick to the tape, and began to pull the mop handle back.
Just before he was able to grab the watch, though, it fell, disappearing into the shadows four stories below. There was a sickening, splintering sound, and the rumble of pigeons fluttering.
--from "The Man and the Watch" (by me), originally published in Hudson Current
February 3, 2014
Photo of the Week / Quote of the Day
No lie. For my birthday I received a bag of beans. Coffee beans -- David Lynch signature coffee beans.
"Coffee became tied to what I called 'The Art Life.' I loved to go to diners and drink coffee and try to catch ideas for the work. Coffee has always seemed to facilitate thinking and catching ideas. Not only that, but the flavor of coffee is beyond the beyond good. Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all."
--David Lynch
This isn't bad coffee by any means. And it says "Ideas in Every Bag" right on the back of the package.
Here's an idea: click the pic for a close-up view.
February 1, 2014
Word of the Day: hooroosh
What's "the word I'm thinking of"? Today, it's...
hooroosh [who-ROOSH] (noun)
An uproar, a great fuss
"What a hooroosh aloft there! I would e'en take it for sublime, did I not know that the colic is a noisy malady."
--Herman Melville, Moby-Dick
Near where I work in Newark, there's quite a hooroosh on Wednesday afternoons: a huge outdoor karaoke party, complete with a stage and concert amplification. The Otis Redding manqué (look that up!) I saw one week hit most of the notes.
Expect lots of hooroosh tomorrow about the Big Game.
~~~
TWITO, page 68!
hooroosh [who-ROOSH] (noun)
An uproar, a great fuss
"What a hooroosh aloft there! I would e'en take it for sublime, did I not know that the colic is a noisy malady."
--Herman Melville, Moby-Dick
Near where I work in Newark, there's quite a hooroosh on Wednesday afternoons: a huge outdoor karaoke party, complete with a stage and concert amplification. The Otis Redding manqué (look that up!) I saw one week hit most of the notes.
Expect lots of hooroosh tomorrow about the Big Game.
~~~
TWITO, page 68!
January 30, 2014
Link Mania
13 Words That Knocked Out Scripps National Spelling Bee Finalists
Three of them are included in my book....
Three of them are included in my book....
January 29, 2014
Random Sequence
The cat sprang forward and bit Ivan on the hand. He screamed and instinctively flinched, banging his head, hard, on one of the metal slats that held the bed springs.
He pulled his head out from under the bed, feeling dazed. Cleo was nowhere to be seen again, and Ivan felt dizzy. He decided to lie down on the bed for a minute and consider his strategy.
As he lay back, could hear the cat mewing off in the distance, somewhere in the apartment. "Probably scared to death," Ivan thought, closing his eyes. The mewing was getting louder, and it seemed to be changing in pitch and frequency. It was even beginning to sound a little like a voice. "Crazy," Ivan thought. But it did sound like a tiny, high-pitched voice, mixed with meows, like a feline Munchkin talking. He could even make out words....
--from "Catching the Cat" (by me)
He pulled his head out from under the bed, feeling dazed. Cleo was nowhere to be seen again, and Ivan felt dizzy. He decided to lie down on the bed for a minute and consider his strategy.
As he lay back, could hear the cat mewing off in the distance, somewhere in the apartment. "Probably scared to death," Ivan thought, closing his eyes. The mewing was getting louder, and it seemed to be changing in pitch and frequency. It was even beginning to sound a little like a voice. "Crazy," Ivan thought. But it did sound like a tiny, high-pitched voice, mixed with meows, like a feline Munchkin talking. He could even make out words....
--from "Catching the Cat" (by me)
January 27, 2014
Word of the Day: klangfarbe
What's the word I'm thinking of? Today, it's...
klangfarbe [KLANG-far-buh] (noun)
Instrumental timbre or tone
Chloe lived to play the flugelhorn. "Nice klangfarbe you have there," Charles said after she played a trill. "No!" Chloe exclaimed. "I keep telling everyone -- it's a flugelhorn!"
~~~
TWITO, page 80!
klangfarbe [KLANG-far-buh] (noun)
Instrumental timbre or tone
Chloe lived to play the flugelhorn. "Nice klangfarbe you have there," Charles said after she played a trill. "No!" Chloe exclaimed. "I keep telling everyone -- it's a flugelhorn!"
~~~
TWITO, page 80!
