Tess Harper's Blog, page 2

review: Sins & Needles by Karine Halle

I love everything about this book.

I love Ellie. She’s tough and vulnerable. She’s beautiful and scarred. She’s willing to do anything to accomplish her goals but she has a big heart. And she’s a grifter. I can’t remember the last time I read a contemporary romance novel with a heroine like Ellie. Some of my favorite historical romances have similar characters (Crooked Hearts by Patricia Gaffney comes to mind), but that story wasn’t nearly as introspective and bleak as this Sins & Needles. Halle unflinchingly dives into Ellie’s complicated past, and it isn’t pretty. Ellie betrays her friends. She does selfish things to feel “normal”. She’s an opportunist. And while you bleed for Ellie for all the ways she’s been hurt, you also have to face the fact that she’s hurt people too. People who were just as wounded as she was and never deserved her cruelty. People like the hero.

I love twisted hate-love relationship between Ellie and Camden. Ellie did something horrible to Camden when they were teenagers, and when the story opens, she’s planning on doing something horrible to him again. Something unforgivable. Something she knows is wrong, but is willing to do anyways, because she’s lived to take revenge on the person who hurt her as a child for so long that she no longer sees any other path she could take. And at the moment she’s about to follow through with her plan…the unimaginable happens. And whatever you think it is, it isn’t that.

I don’t want to say anything more about this book because I don’t want to give anything away. It is an amazing thrill-ride that never lets up and never stops. Just buy it and devour it. And thank God that the next book is already out because if it wasn’t you’d scream and tear out your hair :) 5 out of 5 shooting scars.

review: Bully by Penelope Douglas

This is a book that has gotten a lot of attention recently. As in, even my mother knows about this book and she doesn’t even read romance novels. Though it was recommended to me by a few different people, I resisted buying it for a long time because I just honestly didn’t know if I wanted to read about a bully.

The bully in Penelope Douglas’ debut novel isn’t the Twilight type of bully who flares his nostrils and looks kinda scary when he encounters the heroine. He’s mean. Really mean. Since I read a lot of reviews before buying the book, I thought I knew what to expect, but damn, Jared was just such an asshole.

I’ve read a lot of books where the heroes are assholes. Some of my favorite books, in fact, feature bad boys. Jared isn’t physically abusive, but as her former childhood friend, he knows exactly what to say or do to get under Tate’s skin, and does everything he can to isolate her from her peers. Douglas does an amazing job of showcasing the fears and uncertainty teenage girls go through as they learn to be strong and go after what they want. And that’s exactly what makes the first part of the novel so difficult—seeing Tate’s youth and vulnerability.

After a trip to France, Tate comes back a new person ready to face her biggest fear: her bully. This is where the book really takes off. You begin the novel cheering for Tate, and it’s incredibly satisfying to see her grow, take charge, and stand up for herself. Let’s just say I really loved Tate. But as I read the novel, I feared that I would never love Jared.

Well, thankfully, Ms Douglas redeemed him. As Tate begins to gain her confidence, Jared slowly begins to lose his. As Tate gets stronger, Jared becomes more vulnerable. And when Jared realizes that he can’t break Tate anymore, he begins to break. This transformation isn’t easy. It’s messy. There’s a lot of back-and-forth, and Jared’s behavior gets crueler as he tries to break Tate’s strength so he doesn’t have to face his own weaknesses, but when he finally does, he becomes the hero Tate knew as a young girl.

I love these kinds of transformations, but they’re easy to mess up and it takes a very skilled author to pull them off. I’m so thrilled Penelope Douglas did. Bully is a dark, complicated and beautiful story that sticks with you long after you finish it. It deserves 5 out of 5 stars, and my recommendation :)

review: Stardust by Mimi Strong

You know you’ve read a good book when you remember it days later and just thinking about it puts a smile on your face. There are so many things to love about Mimi Strong’s Stardust, because instead of just creating a wonderful romance, she’s created:

 

A town I’m upset is fictional because I want to visit it. Seriously, there are so many interesting places in this town, from Peaches’ bookshop to the DeNirro’s Italian restaurant. I want to get my Beaverville passport and just start walking around, visiting places!

 

Beautiful, realistic friendships. Sometimes friendships in NA books can feel a little too…how do I put this?…well, I guess I’ll be boring and just say ‘unrealistic.’ The friends in these books often do nothing but prop up the heroine. They don’t seem like real people, but are instead just there so that the heroine can hear that no, that hot dress really doesn’t make her look fat and yes, it’s alright to let yourself go once in a while and kiss that really hot guy. These girls can love and care about each other, but that doesn’t mean their relationship is always smooth sailing. They can act bitchy, jealous or resentful. Not in an overly dramatic way, but in a way that shows you that these people are separate from the heroine and can sometimes make mistakes while trying to do the right thing. It was really refreshing, and made me believe in their friendships even more.

 

A cast of really hot guys, and every single one of them has major flaws. I’m not going to say anything more about that because…major spoilers! However, I will say that there are so many cute guys in this town that I ended up being drawn to one that I (unfortunately) don’t even think is in the running—the cute, red-headed delivery boy who delivers books to Peaches’ store!

 

An amazing heroine. I didn’t really get the #teampeaches thing before reading this book, but I do now, because more than hoping Peaches ended up with any specific guy, I finished the book wanting Peaches to be empowered and happy. Just think about that for a second: can you think of a single other NA book with a cast of beefcakes were you weren’t rooting for any of them, but for the awesome heroine?

Alright, if those four weren’t enough for you, you should read this book because it’s super funny. It’s one of those books where your friends and family will look over at you and ask what’s wrong because you’ll be laughing so hard. I love books like that!

The cliffhanger in this book is heartbreaking. It’s not shocking because it’s completely unexpected, but instead shocking because every single event in the story and romance has led up to it. You don’t see it coming because you just don’t want to believe it can happen. It is Peaches’ worst nightmare, and when her heart breaks yours does too.

So what’s my rating? 5 OUT OF 5 PEACHES! And it’s super cheap. You can’t go wrong :)

review: Stardust by Mimi Strong

You know you’ve read a good book when you remember it days later and just thinking about it puts a smile on your face. There are so many things to love about Mimi Strong’s Stardust, because instead of just creating a wonderful romance, she’s created:

 

A town I’m upset is fictional because I want to visit it. Seriously, there are so many interesting places in this town, from Peaches’ bookshop to the DeNirro’s Italian restaurant. I want to get my Beaverville passport and just start walking around, visiting places!

 

Beautiful, realistic friendships. Sometimes friendships in NA books can feel a little too…how do I put this?…well, I guess I’ll be boring and just say ‘unrealistic.’ The friends in these books often do nothing but prop up the heroine. They don’t seem like real people, but are instead just there so that the heroine can hear that no, that hot dress really doesn’t make her look fat and yes, it’s alright to let yourself go once in a while and kiss that really hot guy. These girls can love and care about each other, but that doesn’t mean their relationship is always smooth sailing. They can act bitchy, jealous or resentful. Not in an overly dramatic way, but in a way that shows you that these people are separate from the heroine and can sometimes make mistakes while trying to do the right thing. It was really refreshing, and made me believe in their friendships even more.

 

A cast of really hot guys, and every single one of them has major flaws. I’m not going to say anything more about that because…major spoilers! However, I will say that there are so many cute guys in this town that I ended up being drawn to one that I (unfortunately) don’t even think is in the running—the cute, red-headed delivery boy who delivers books to Peaches’ store!

 

An amazing heroine. I didn’t really get the #teampeaches thing before reading this book, but I do now, because more than hoping Peaches ended up with any specific guy, I finished the book wanting Peaches to be empowered and happy. Just think about that for a second: can you think of a single other NA book with a cast of beefcakes were you weren’t rooting for any of them, but for the awesome heroine?

Alright, if those four weren’t enough for you, you should read this book because it’s super funny. It’s one of those books where your friends and family will look over at you and ask what’s wrong because you’ll be laughing so hard. I love books like that!

The cliffhanger in this book is heartbreaking. It’s not shocking because it’s completely unexpected, but instead shocking because every single event in the story and romance has led up to it. You don’t see it coming because you just don’t want to believe it can happen. It is Peaches’ worst nightmare, and when her heart breaks yours does too.

So what’s my rating? 5 OUT OF 5 PEACHES! And it’s super cheap. You can’t go wrong :)

August Update: What I'm working on

Wow, so much has happened since May! I can't believe I've published two books. I really can't believe that people have read and enjoyed them, and am so happy that they are looking forward to the next installments in the series. Because of this, I thought I'd give everyone a short update on what I'm working on and an idea of when you can expect the next books.

The sequel to The Summer I Said Yes will probably be out before You are My Sun. Since Grace and I both have free time this August, we are spending that time writing together. Our goal is to get the sequel out around December 2013.

Even though Love Me in Shadows was published after TSISY, I actually started writing it after. Grace got busy with work and we had to set aside our novel for a bit. However, I still wanted to write! One of my good friends who is also a writer told me to "try out that idea I'd been playing around with for a while" and voila! LMIS was born. Even though I've started You are My Sun, I'm not totally sure when it will be out yet since I'm a new writer and still learning how fast I can put out a book, but my goal is late 2013/early 2014.

Thank you everyone for your interest in my stories!

-Tess

The Summer I Said Yes

The Summer I Said Yes
by Tess Harper & Grace Wells

Summary:
I'm not in any position to pursue a relationship. The last one I was in almost destroyed me. But even though I know he's toxic, I can't stay away.

He has a dangerous smile and eyes that seem to see right through me. A kiss that makes me forget all the ways he could break me. And when he touches me, I become a wild thing that disregards all the walls I so carefully erected to keep me safe.

So I left without saying goodbye.

I thought that was the end. I thought I'd never see him again. And then he walked into the Freshman Art History Survey course I was teaching.


The Summer I Said Yes is available now from:Amazon.com | Amazon UK | Amazon CAiTunes | iTunes AU | iTunes NZ | iTunes GB Barnes & Noble | Kobo
Add The Summer I Said Yes to Goodreads.


Chapter 1


“Shit!” Sophie yelped as she tripped over one of the lawn chairs just outside the pool house.“Shh, or they’re going to hear us Soph!” I giggled, trying to keep my voice low.Sophie flipped back her long black hair and rubbed her right calf, grinning. “Is it bad that I kind of want us to get caught?”My laughter died as my heartbeat spiked. “How can you say that? We’ll get fired if we’re caught!”“Yeah, probably.”“Yeah, probably?” I repeated, trying hard to keep my voice down.I glanced at the Southern Gothic-inspired mansion behind us, shivering. On the other side of it, about half a mile away, 1,000 socialites participated in what the bride’s family had promised would be Nantucket’s wedding of the summer. They ate the best, imported and local cheeses on nut-encrusted crackers, and drank from bottles of champagne that cost way more than what Sophie and I would be paid as caterers this week.“I can’t believe I let you talk me into doing this, Sophie. We are both so screwed. I don’t care how cute Jerry thinks you are, he’ll fire us both on the spot if he finds out we snuck out of the rehearsal dinner.”“Ok, you need to calm down. First, your whole freak out is only if we get caught. And yes, if we get caught, we might get fired.”I gave Sophie the stink eye.“And,” she continued, “even if we did, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. You will learn this in time young buttercup, sometimes you’ve gotta take a risk to reap the reward.”My stink eye got stinkier. “You want us to get caught so I can learn this important lesson?”“Not so you can learn it, so you can remember it,” Sophie replied, ripping off her shirt. “Now get your sexy ass over here!”I glanced back at the mansion. Lacy curtains swayed in the forth story windows. I felt like the bride’s ancestors were staring down at us, whispering curses. “But what if—”“—Hey, I promised no one would see us, and no one will.”“I’m dead serious Sophie. If someone sees us, I’m killing you with my bare hands Jackie Chan style.”She laughed. “Ok, let’s just be clear, Jackie Chan doesn’t kill people. He just incapacitates them in the most painful and badass ways possible. And how many times do I have to say it? No one will see us.”I looked at Sophie. “Pinkie?” I asked, holding out my pinkie finger to her.“Pinkie,” she replied.We locked our pinkies and kissed our thumbs. It was silly, but ever since we were in Kindergarten, this was the way Sophie had convinced me to participate in her crazy stunts.“Can I at least wear my bra?” I pouted.“No, everything but the panties,” she said firmly. “It’s not streaking if you leave your bra on.”My heart pounded in my chest. Was I really going to do this? I yanked off my shirt with a half-whine, half-squeal. My fingers trembled as I unhooked my bra.“Who knew that Emily Vaughn was such a badass,” she announced in her co-host of The Bachelorette voice. Sophie’s dream job was to be Chris’ co-host from The Bachelorette. Sophie had some weird obsessions—reality TV being one of them—but I loved her anyway.We folded our catering uniforms, put them on the chair, and looked at each other.“Three,” Sophie started.“Two,” I answered, looking into Sophie’s bright, excited eyes. “One….”“GO!” we both yelled.We ran down the lawn, howling with laughter. Sophie was ahead of me, but not for long. I was the more dedicated athlete and much faster, thanks in no small part to the fact that I was almost six feet and Sophie was barely five two. “YOLO,” I giggled to myself, smiling.“Last one to touch the ocean loses!” I called out once we’d passed the pool.“You’re on, jock!” she laughed.Sophie took the cute, winding path that connected the courtyard to the beach. I decided to use my superior height to my advantage and jumped the bushes. My heels left large grooves in the cold, soft sand as I made my way down the dunes and on to the beach.“No fair!” Sophie yelled as I passed her skipping down the steps.I laughed and booked it to the ocean. When my foot touched the cold water, I shrieked. “Holy shit! It’s effing freezing!”Sophie raced past me right into the water. I hugged my chest as she started to doggie-paddle around in the waves.“It’s not that cold!” Sophie laughed.“I can hear your teeth chattering from here.”“Does that mean you’re too afraid to get in?”I frowned, stepping forward until I was wading. “No.”“Bet you won’t dunk your head,” she taunted.“You’re on!” I took a deep breath and ran forward.Cold, salty water splashed around me. I leaped forward, head-first into the waves. The current pushed me back as I stood, squealing.“Ahhh! It’s so cold!”Sophie grinned and dunked her head too. When she came up for air, we both looked at each other and started laughing hysterically.I finally settled down. “I don’t know if it’s thrill of sneaking off or the rush of the ocean, but I feel…I feel…”“Alive,” she finished for me when I couldn’t find the words.She was right. Right there, topless and splashing away in the ocean, I felt alive. “That is precisely the word Soph, and you were right. No one saw us.”Sophie reached for my hand, smiling. “On three?” she asked.“You’re on,” I grinned.Sophie started the countdown and we dunked once more, together, holding hands the entire time.***I don’t know how long we’d been away from the party, only that my legs were starting to do that numb-tingly thing.“Maybe we should get out. I can’t feel my toes.”Sophie laughed. “Neither can I, let’s go back.”Amidst the rush of sneaking away from the party and stealing a bottle of very expensive champagne, we’d neglected to think about the other part of our wild and spontaneous adventure, the escape plan. Like how to sneak back into the party undetected. And towels.I hopped from foot to foot, shivering. “Shit Sophie, we don’t have towels.”“Not a problem, just hold onto the twins and run back to the pool house.”Damn that girl was confident and sure of herself. How did she do it? I couldn’t help but laugh. “Hold the twins and book it—that’s your master plan?”“Yep. Ready? GO!” Sophie took off for the stairs, laughing and screaming into the night.I followed, sprinting with both twins strapped down by my arms. We slowed when we reached the bushes.Sophie crouched and snuck along the perimeter of the courtyard, I followed as we made our way around the pool. “Ok, the coast is clear,” she said right before dashing across the lawn.I took a step. Cool air froze the salt water running down my legs. Suddenly, the distance between the bushes and the pool house stretched, and the dim, outdoor lights along the path seemed to blaze like the sun.“Wait, Sophie!” I squeaked, but she’d already disappeared.Then I heard another pair of footsteps. Footsteps that were much heavier than Sophie’s, and coming from the opposite direction.My heart stopped.“Jack, over here.”Was that a guy’s voice? A fraction of a second later, my suspicions were confirmed. A dark haired guy dressed in a rumpled tux jogged with ease along the edge of the pool.“Dude—did you see that?” the guy murmured. He was talking to someone, apparently named ‘Jack’.Oh shit. That meant there were two guys here.I ducked into the bushes. Branches scratched my arms and legs, but I ignored them. A tall, athletic guy in sagging khaki shorts, a black polo, mussed-up blonde hair and navy blue boathouse shoes emerged. That must be ‘Jack’.He stopped at the edge of the pool and peered in my direction.Okay Emily, this is going to get way worse if they see you crouching, naked, behind a bush like some rando perv waiting for someone to get frisky by the pool.“Shit,” I whispered to myself.It’s dark. Ok, it’s sort of dark. They probably haven’t seen anything.Jack tilted his head to the side with a grin and winked.“Shit!” I hissed.“I think I found your water nymph,” Jack gloated with an irritatingly cocky grin and eyes so bright and blue that I could see the color from where I hid. Even though we’d only just sort-of met, I decided I didn’t like Jack that much.Then Jack started walking around the pool toward my hiding bush. Ok, scratch that. I decided that I didn’t like Jack at all.His friend fell into step behind him. At least he had the decency to look nervous. I swear to god, Jack’s cocky grin was getting wider with every step. What an asshole! It took every ounce of my self-control to not barrel forward and tackle him into the pool.He’s not worth it, Emily. Besides, if he can’t swim, you’ll have to save him.I was really at a disadvantage in this hunched over position. It made me look flustered and embarrassed and all sorts of other things, which…okay I totally was, but it’s not like they needed to know that!I took a deep breath I shot up, standing before them in all my glory, wearing nothing but my pink and black Victoria’s Secret cheeky lace panties.Jack’s eyes went wide as they dipped, lingering on my muscular legs.The other guy backpedaled so fast he almost fell into the pool. “Holy shit!”“Uh, hey guys,” I said, hugging my chest so tight it was a wonder I wasn’t cutting off my circulation. “I didn’t see you there.”“No shit!” the other guy replied. “I mean…shit!”Jack shook his head, trying not to smile. “You’ll have to excuse my friend. He isn’t used to finding naked women swimming in his pool.”“And you are?” I shot back without thinking.Jack gave me a lazy, heavy-lidded, bad boy smile that brought the feeling back to my numb little toes.My body involuntarily shivered. A dark heat rolled around in my stomach before spiking through my body like a sugar high.Oh God. This isn’t good. I had to get out of here fast!“Well, cool,” I said. Wait, what was cool? Did that even have anything to do with anything that had been said before? Shit! “I mean, I was just swimming around but I’m done now and I’m going to go do other things. With my clothes on.”Jack’s cocky grin deepened. Seriously, was that the only facial expression he could make? “That’s too bad.”Ok, time to drop back down into the bushes and die. What the hell is wrong with me? Be confident Emily, you are stronger than this! Beat this asshole at his own game.“I didn’t think anyone was down here,” I said as confidently as I could muster. “I got a little hot during the party and thought it would feel nice to take a dip in the pool.” Where the hell did that come from? And why did my voice suddenly get whispery and seductive like Marilyn Monroe in the Seven Year Itch?The two guys suddenly looked away.“Oh, um, I, um…we, um…” The first guy stuttered.I giggled and flashed a flirty Marilyn smile. Well, if I’m gonna go Marilyn, I better go all out. “Oh, it’s okay. You’re more than welcome to join me if you’d like.”The first guy shifted and looked terribly embarrassed. I smiled. Yes! It’s working! I thought. Or at least I thought it was working until Jack looked up at me with a gaze filled with challenge…and heat.Jack turned to his uncomfortable friend, “You go on ahead. I’ll catch up with you later.”Jack’s friend gave him a knowing smile. Disgust and anger bubbled up inside me. What the hell is that smile for bub?“It was nice meeting you,” the awkward and obnoxious friend said. “I’m sorry to interrupt your swim.” Then, he turned and began walking back to the party.Fuck. Horror struck me. Jack wasn’t leaving. Total backfire.Marilyn how could you do this to me?! I’m never taking your advice again!I looked down at the ground, unsure of what to say or do next.And then I realized I was still naked.

Totally Captivated - Chapter 2

This is an unedited rough draft. The final, published version of this book may be different.

When I skip town my brother, president of the Four Horsemen MC, sends his best friend and second in command out to bring me back: Ryder, the man I've secretly loved for my entire life.

But there's a reason I can't go back to Baker, and I can't let anyone discover it. My new life is built on lies and Ryder's presence could not only expose me, it could destroy everything I've sacrificed so much to protect.



Chapter 2Ryder

I ran the name, found her credit cards. She’d left a huge paper trail. At first I thought I’d been set-up, but no, she’d already donated $10 from her modest paycheck from Benji’s to the Humane Society. Most of the purchases were pretty standard and didn’t give me much information on what she’d been doing. She shopped at the local grocery, bought gas, and, for some reason, got her clothes from a thrift store called Hanging by a Thread.

But I really didn’t have much time to ponder her odd shopping sense. Something stood out.One not-so-nice purchase. $2,000 at Naughty Pink Lace.
I hadn’t heard of the store before, but I had a pretty good idea about what kinds of goods they sold. What the fuck was Jess doing shopping there? Spending $2,000 there? Where had she even gotten that kind of money?
I ground my teeth and tried to keep my head on straight. Amherst, Nevada was a hell of a lot closer than Seattle. I’d get my answers in eight short hours. If I left now, I’d be there just after dark.
***
They lived in a three bedroom ranch styled home. Lawn hadn’t been mowed in a while, which I guess didn’t matter since it was Nevada and half the yard was dead as shit. My sneakers crunched as I made my way to the cheery yellow front door.
Wasn’t hard to pick out Jess’ room. She had Kiss posters on the walls. She was still pissed that she was too young to go to the Kiss Goodbye tour a while back. Never forgave me or Gracie for not taking her with us. I glance through the drawers. Pay stubs from some place called Benji’s. Remembering the amounts she gave in her bank account, she wasn’t depositing all of her checks in her personal bank account. Which meant she either walked around with a ridiculous amount of cash or something else was going on.
I didn’t like the sound of either idea. My feet catch on discarded t-shirts and jeans. Damn Jess was a slob. Her closet shows more of her tomboy style…except three dresses in the back.
The white one should be the most subdued, or so one would think, but the flaps of fabric in the front drop way low. They’d show off most of her cleavage. And the back? Nonexistent. I didn’t even think that slab of fabric around the bottom would cover her ass.
Definitely not good.
I sit on the end of her bed. How can a girl with baby dolls and a moldy rug her grandmother gave her also have so many thongs?
It’s 9pm and they weren’t home. Not good. At least there hadn’t been any signs of struggle. I did find evidence of the $2,000 Jessie spent at Naughty Pink Lace, though.
I slam the door to my van and start driving. Danzig’s Mother blares from the dashboard and I sing along with it, bitterly and out of key, trying to make sense of this. Jess wasn’t the kind of girl who bought fancy, designer underwear. No, make that fancy, designer thongs. And garters. And all kinds of other shit she shouldn’t even know existed.
If Benny was telling the truth, she had Liz and Talia with her, which was the only reason why I hadn’t called up the gang and had them roaring through town searching for her. Well, that and it would probably take them six hours to get here, by which time the girls would probably be home.
Or at least they should be home.
God, I really didn’t want to think about them not coming home.
I turned left at the barely-hanging flashing red light at the intersection in the center of town. 

Unfortunately, there were more boarded-up buildings than boutiques in this area. The recession had hit small towns like this pretty damn hard. I knew; I came from one. So did Jess. Why she’d trade one for another was beyond me. The girl was smart. She should be off in college making something of herself. Not hiding out in the middle of nowhere and buying astronomically priced underwear.
My fists gripped the wheel. What the fuck was she doing? I didn’t want to entertain the possibility, but it was starting to look like a guy was involved. Some sniveling asshole from the looks of it, since she had to move to a different state to be with him. She must know that Gracie wouldn’t approve of him. And while it’s true that no guy in Baker County with any sense of self preservation would touch Gracie’s sister, I’d like to think he’d accept the right guy.
Alright, he totally wouldn’t. No one was good enough for Gracie’s sister. But still, I could just tell this wasn’t the right guy. And if it wasn’t a guy…well, I had no answers. Why the fuck didn’t she tell any of us where she was going? None of this made sense.
Benny seemed to think they were just living young and free or some other shit. I didn’t buy that. But at least, whatever she was in, she didn’t skip town alone. Then again, those three girls got pretty dumb ideas in their pretty little heads. Who knows what kind of fool plan they’d concocted? Or what kind of trouble they were in.
I gunned it across the railroad tracks. Well, one thing was sure, trouble was coming for them. When I could find them, that is. Why the fuck weren’t they tucked into their beds? It was 9pm!
I debate whether or not I should move on. There’s probably a place down the road that’s less crowded and not filled with strippers. I look up the bars in town on the phone. The first few have no very few people in them. All the girls are the waitresses, and none of them are Jess.
I don’t know if that makes me happy or not. On the one hand, I like that she isn’t being forced to serve alcohol to local guys who’d undoubtedly be trying to get into her pants. On the other hand, she isn’t home and I’m running out of places she could be. The boyfriend or cult ideas are starting to look more and more possible.
I ground my teeth. A drink. That was what I needed. If this place was anything like Baker, there’d be no shortage of bars. Those were pretty much the only establishments going back home.Neon pink and piss yellow lights flash up ahead. Stella’s, it read in some retro font so over-stylized it was practically illegible. As I drive closer, I notice how many cars are parked in the lot. I also notice that, just behind the neon Stella is a painted billboard of a winking woman with a cowboy hat, one leg folded over the other.
Well, no surprise what this establishment is serving.
I debate whether I should drive back to the other bars, but damn, I need something to take off the edge.
A horrifying thought takes hold of me. What if she’s here.
I banish the thought. No, she couldn’t be. I knew Jess, and this was as far from Jess as humanly possible. I pull into the parking lot and take the keys out of the ignition and get out of the van.
***
Music throbs inside. I don’t know if everyone carpooled here or took a cab, but it feels like there’s twenty times as many people here than any of the other bars. There are even a lot of chicks, for some reason. Well, of course there are a lot of chicks. It is a strip club. But not all of them are working.
I scan the room quietly, doing my best to scowl. Unfortunately I think it makes me look more like the romantic villain than the piece of shit criminal I am. Girls who go to places like this are looking for a good time. A dangerous time. And I’m the kind of guy who can give that to them.
And, unfortunately, that’s all I can give them.
I don’t return eye contact. There are plenty of pretty girls in the world. I’m only here for one, and then I’m here to take her home.
After a few rounds of the room, it’s pretty obvious that I’m not going to find her here. It was a ridiculous thought. But hey, while I’m here might as well enjoy my beer before heading back to Jess’.Two girls are working the poles, and they’re damn good. One has glossy red hair I can already imagine running my fingers through and fair, freckled skin that just begs to be touched. An African American girl dances next to her with long, strong muscular legs, her bronzed skin glowing beneath the shining lights.
Wish I could see their faces. Girls that pretty should be appreciated in their entirety.I’m just about to get up when a man stands out in the middle of the stage.
“And for our next act, one of our best dancers and the girl with the biggest ass in Nevada!”I spin on my stool. Biggest ass in Nevada? That’s quite a claim. I guess I could stick around for a few more minutes.

Totally Captivated - Chapter 1

Totally Captivated

This book is currently being serialized right here on this blog and on Wattpad. Find out more in the "Free Reads" section.

When I skip town my brother, president of the Four Horsemen MC, sends his best friend and second in command out to bring me back: Ryder, the man I've secretly loved for my entire life.

But there's a reason I can't go back to Baker, and I can't let anyone discover it. My new life is built on lies and Ryder's presence could not only expose me, it could destroy everything I've sacrificed so much to protect.

Chapter 1Ryder
It was cleaner than the last bar I’d been in, I’d give Bobby that. Someone had cleaned the floor recently, and black linoleum beneath the upholstered stools in the bar still gleamed. Never thought I’d see the day when Bobby the Body outclassed me. Then again, I wasn’t exactly on the up and up these days. Which was why, despite being Gracie’s best friend, I was perfect for this job.A few bleached blonds in matching black halter tops smiled at me as I walked in. Well, what do you know? Even the waitresses here were cute. Yes, Bobby certainly seemed to be moving up in the world.I wonder where, exactly, he got the money to do that.The last thought makes my eyes narrow and my lips tighten as I smile back. The left girl froze, eyes wide, tongue running over her trembling bottom lip. Damn, I had to watch myself. It was always bad to startle the clientele before asking questions.Luckily her friend didn’t startle easy. Immediately, she pulls out a menu and her brightest smile. She saunters up, her cut-off jeans hutting her hips in all the right places, lashes hanging low over her bright eyes. “Hey,” she whispers, eyes dipping to my own hips before coming back up to meet mine. “Welcome to Irish Hell, home of the best burgers on the West coast.”I raise my brows and hook my thumbs in the loops of my faded jeans. “That’s quite a claim.”She raises her brows too and gives me a saucy smile. “Well, we don’t say things around here we can’t back up.” She takes two aggressive steps towards me. “I like your tattoos.”Oh fuck. She’s easily the hottest thing I’ve seen in the last three days. Perfect, round tits, a flat stomach that was just soft enough to make it feminine, and nice big hips that had me almost begging her to turn around. I’m an ass man. Drop a fine, round ass in front of me and I’ll follow it like a horse to water. But now is not the time to get distracted. I bring my gaze back to her eyes. “Well, there’s a lot of them to like. Figure most people can find at least one or two they can tolerate.”She steps forward, grin deepening. “I especially like that one.” She points at the first one I got way back when I was fourteen.I have two full sleeves, and yet that one always stands out despite my attempts to blend it in with the others. Maybe because it’s so fucking maudlin and cliche—a raven soaring with a red rose in its claws.When you first start getting tattoos, you get them to mark special occasions. Things you never want to forget. But I didn’t think of what seeing that fucking thing branded on my skin would do to me. Often I don’t get tattoos anymore to mark special occasions. I get them to hide or conceal the old ones.My stomach tightens. Of course. Chicks always dug that one. “I’m actually looking for someone.”Her grin disappears. “Yeah?”“Yeah. I think he comes in a lot.”She perks up again when she hears it’s a guy I’m looking for, but I continue as if I haven’t noticed. “His name’s Jimmy Wilson.” Bobby’s newest alias rolls off my tongue. “Can’t miss him. Brown hair and eyes, pug nose, about average height—”“And above average weight?” she finishes with a breathy laugh. I nod. “Yeah, I know him. Big tipper.”That didn’t surprise me. Bobby was always a big tipper. It was one of that sleaze ball’s redeeming qualities.She pulls the menu closer to her chest and and turns. “He’s actually out on the balcony.”“Great.” I give her my slowest, sexiest smile. Better warm her up to me fast before we go meet Bobby.She tilts her head to the side and holds the menu out in front of her with her arms straight. There’s something innocent and cute about that gesture. “Okay, well come on. I’ll take you to him.”Her ass is just as beautiful as I thought it would be. Unfortunately, it’s hard to see in the room. The dim lighting, cream walls and black floor are such a contrast to the bright sun streaming through the windows, making it look like I’ve walked into a picture taken in the fifties. The tables are all dark, polished wood. I can’t see any blemishes or chips on them. Damn Bobby’s done well for himself. I’d feel bad about doing this if I didn’t know what he’d done.The dark room opens up into a panoramic view of the lush landscape of Sonoma Valley. You can even hear water rustling from the creek down below.“Hey Jimmy! Someone’s here to see you,” the waitress sings.I raise my eyebrows. Bobby’s always been a good tipper, but he must have gotten really good since leaving Baker.Bobby’s ugly ass face turns around with a grin. “Hey Katie, how—” His grin disappears when he sees me.There we go. That’s more like the Bobby I know.Katie glances back at me with eyes as wide as the waitress’ who had known me for what I was moments after meeting me. “Uh, you sure you’re a friend of Bobby’s?”“Oh yeah. We go way back.” I step past her and plop a hand down on Bobby’s shoulder. The gesture is a friendly gesture for the waitress’ benefit, and a way to make sure this asshole doesn’t try to run. Looking like he’s about to shit his pants is one thing. But I’m pretty sure she’d call the cops if she saw me mow him down in the center of the bar and throw him in the back of my van.“It’s alright Katie,” Bobby squeaks. “He’s just an old friend.”The waitress takes a step back, the soft breeze teasing her hair, eyes never leaving mine. Let’s just say I prefer the look she’d given me earlier. I’ve never raised my hand against a woman in my life, and don’t like But I guess the dangerous, pretty boy is just fun to look at and, maybe, if you’re feeling risky enough, indulge in for one night.It’s obvious she doesn’t believe him, but she’s also not the type to make a fuss if the victim appears willing. She leaves.I let go of him and take the seat in front of him. I want him to see my face.“So, long time no see Ryder.” I don’t think it’s possible for his voice to get any higher.“Where is she?”Bobby gulps. Maybe he was expecting me to start out by waxing poetic about the fucking weather. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”I smile out of the side of my mouth and lean back. “Don’t fuck with me.”He pulls a cigarette out of his pocket. “I really…um…” he fumbles with the lighter, wincing as he burns the tip of his thumb. “Look, I have no idea okay?” he says quickly through puffs of smoke.“You’re smoking that like you’re thinking it’s your last cigarette.”He takes a long drag and blows out softly, turning the floral smell of the late-summer breeze to the scent of ash. Now there’s a fitting image if there ever was one.“Is it?” he asks.“Depends,” I answer honestly.Bobby eyes the door.“Don’t even think of running. I’ll catch you before you take three steps and I’m in a bad mood. Drove all the way from Seattle last night—”“Why were you in Seattle?” Bobby interrupts.My glare deepens. “Why do you think?”Luckily he has enough intelligence to not answer. Bobby’s so fucking lucky I found him here and not someplace more private.“Gracie’s gonna kill you, you know.”Bobby goes as white as the starched, bleached sheets his mother puts out all pretty like for the guest in her Bed & Breakfast. “You told Gracie?”I actually hadn’t told Gracie yet, but I’ll let him go on thinking I did. “What the fuck were you thinking messing with his sister, huh?”Bobby’s cheeks wiggle as he shakes his head. “Hey, I didn’t do anything to his fucking sister, alright?”My heartbeat spikes. “Watch your mouth.”Bobby looks at me like I’ve gone crazy. Jesus, this guy is more dense than I thought he was if he can’t see what Jessie means to me. Growing up, I thought of her as my own little sister. And no, I don’t take kindly to assholes applying the adjective fucking or anything like it to that girl. This conversation has gone on long enough. “Did you sell her to someone?”“What the fuck?” Bobby shoots up from his seat. “You better not be telling those kinds of lies to Gracie.”I cock my head. “What’s the truth, then? I’ll tell him that instead.”Sweat pours off his forehead. He wipes it with his bare hands, making them wet. Sticky. He’s freaked out alright. And he should be.It irritates me. It reminds me that I should have been looking closer for signs that something was up. The fact I hadn’t even noticed anything bothered me more than just about anything else. I figured the girls were going on some sort of road trip. I mean, that’s what they said they were doing. Girls did that sort of thing the summer before starting college, didn’t they? But then Jess didn’t show up at Freshman orientation. I got a hysterical call from Amy, and after taking my ass up to Oregon State, discovered the girl had dropped out three months before, when this road trip supposedly started.“I’m not gonna lie. This isn’t looking good, Bobbie. You better come clean.”Bobby looked like he was about to hyperventilate. Damn, whatever he was in, he was in deep, but he still had balls. Grease slipped from the sides of his mouth as his purple lips puckered. “Fuck you.”“I know she got in touch with you about two weeks before she skipped town,” I continue, ignoring the insult, “and that you left soon after. Hid yourself pretty well. A little too well. It’s almost as if you didn’t want to see any of your old friends again.”“None of you guys are friends.” Bobby’s voice is soft and cold, but also sad. I’m surprised to hear that. “All any of you ever wanted to do was use me.”“Don’t you think it’s a little late for you to be acting like a martyr?”He shakes his head, snorting. “You don’t get it. Jess was the only one of you who didn’t treat me like that.”I snap. It isn’t smart. But I swear I haven’t slept more than five hours this past week. Every fucking time I see a girl with a ponytail I think of her and want to scream. “So why the fuck did you fuck around with her?”“I didn’t.” His eyes fill with something I’m not used to seeing on him, especially when he’s on the defense. It’s triumph. “I helped her do what I did—get the fuck away from you.”My vision goes red. “What?”“She—” he suddenly thinks better of it. “Look, forget I said anything.”My smile makes him shudder. “Not gonna happen, Benny.”He takes a step back as I get up, already pressing himself against the unpainted cedar planks behind the trellis, out of sight from the windows, right where I want him.“Come on Ryder,” he whimpers as grab his shirt and slide my forearm over his neck.“Where is she?”“I don’t know.”“Stop bullshitting me.”“I swear, I know nothing!” Drool slips down his chin, mixing with the grease, sliding on the tattoo of a skull and a gun. Another damn cliched tattoo I’d gotten when I was underage.“Come on, Bobby. You gossip like a teenage girl.”His eyes roll back. “I just made her an ID, alright? Her and her friends. I didn’t ask questions.”Fine. He wants to play this game, I’ll roll with it. For now. “Why the fuck not?”“Because when a friend comes and asks you for help you do what you can, alright?”His answer makes me pause. Maybe the asshole has more than one redeeming quality. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask.“She didn’t want any of you to know. Not Gracie, and especially not you.”Especially not me? What the fuck was that about? I tighten my fist around his shirt and push him deeper into the wall. “Did she say not to tell me specifically?”“Shit Ryder, I’m gonna piss my pants.”I maintain the pressure of my grip but take a step back. “Just answer the question.”“Ryder—”“I said answer!”“Okay. Okay.” He swallows. “Shit, do I really have to do this man?”“Bobby, I’ve searched three states in one week for you. I really don’t have any more patience.”“Fine, fine. Yes, she said—she said not to tell you specifically, alright? You happy? She said, no matter what, she didn’t want you to know. I didn’t ask why because it’s not hard for me to see why someone wouldn’t want you around, alright? I mean, you’re not exactly a people person. Now can you fucking put me down already?”I release him. A nauseous, painful feeling shoots through my gut as if I’ve been sucker-punched. It’s hard to breathe. She’d said that about me? Really?“Fuck Ryder, my burger’s cold!” Bobby’s hand is shaking so bad that when it brings a fry to his mouth, ketchup smears over his lips.I sigh and reach into my wallet for a ten. “Sorry man. Buy yourself another one.”He glares up at me. “Well, you suddenly got quiet.”I don’t answer but take my seat in front of him again.Bobby smiles. “Don’t like that she cut you out, huh?”“Shut up.” My heart’s still beating way too fast. Floor’s moving a bit like I’m tipsy. But I’ve got to keep my head on straight, at least until I find her. “What’s her new name?”Bobby set down his napkin. “Damn Ryder. You’re really not gonna let this go, are you? She’s fine.”“How do you know?”“I just know. She’s strong. Can take care of herself.”“I’ll be the judge of that.”Bobby snickers. “You guys never did trust her. Never saw her for who she was. She’s grown up now.”“Stop stalling, Bobby.”He sighs. “You sure you should be the one to find her? I mean, she did specifically ask me not to…”I didn’t want to hear the rest of what he had to say. “It’s better that I find her instead of Gracie,” I reason.Bobby’s eyes narrow. “You sure about that?”“Yeah.”Bobby sighs. “You got a pen and paper?”Turns out I do. His eyes sink as I slide it across the table. Bobby’s good at what he does, but he’s easy to break. Just the threat of violence and he’ll spill everything. He turns the pen around in his hand.“Marie Herrington. Here’s her social, and her mother’s maiden name.” He hands me the paper.“Kraft, huh?” I murmur, folding the paper and stuffing it into my pocket.“Yup. Like the food manufacturing and processing conglomerate and the private security company.” I reach across the table as I get up, grabbing what’s left of his burger.“Hey, that’s mine!” Bobby whines.“I gave you a ten to buy a new one.”Bobby raises the corner of his lip as his eyes flash. “Thanks a lot, man. God, you’re an asshole.”I take a big bite. Mmmm, it’s just as good as the waitress said it would be—juicy and full flavored. Even lukewarm, it’s easily in the top ten burgers I’ve ever had. I might swing back through here on the way home.“See you later, Bobby.”“It’s Jimmy now.”I shake my head. “Alright then.”“Hey.” He shakes his finger at me. Now that he knows he’s safe, all of his ridiculous bravado has returned. “I don’t know anything else, so don’t contact me again, alright? I don’t want anything to do with any of you. I’m trying to start fresh.” He wheezes and he takes a drag. Maybe I went a little too hard on his throat. “It’s pretty here. The people treat me nice.”“People are the same everywhere.”“Not like here.”I smile grimly into the distance. “Well, if they’re treating you that good, it’s because they don’t know you yet.”

Love Me in Shadows (Behind the Mask, #1)

Love Me in Shadows (Behind the Mask, #1)
It seemed so innocent at first. I don't know, maybe I should have told someone, but they were just letters. I got so I looked forward to them. I started to depend on them. Until, when he finally asked to meet me, I felt as if I already knew him.

But I didn't.

I wanted him. It didn't matter that I didn't know his name. It didn't matter that he always hid his face from me. He had his secrets, but then again, I had my own. But some secrets are more dangerous than others, and soon I found myself sinking into a dark world I knew nothing about.

I thought I understood the consequences. I thought I could face anything with him by my side.

I was wrong.

Genres: New Adult, Erotic Romance. Length: 70,000 words. Series: Yes. Cliffhanger: Yes.

Available now from Amazon US | UK | DE | CA


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Chapter 1 (Excerpt)

It comes in a black envelope tied with a silk black bow. My hand shakes as it slides over the artisan paper. I’m not used to experiencing such elegance outside of music. It makes me uncomfortable, like a little girl who sees a diamond for the first time and instinctively senses its worth.

Every morning a letter waits for me, tucked inside the metal mailbox in the entry of my aging brick dorm. The first time I received a letter, I thought it was for someone else. I’d taken it to the forty-something lady working at the front desk. Reluctantly, she’d opened the unmarked envelope and scanned the first line. “Are you Laura?” she’d asked.

My heartbeat quickened. “Yes.”

She groaned as she leaned over the desk, handing it back. “It’s for you.”

“Oh.” Even before I read it, it felt like a priceless treasure—and after I did, I knew my life would never be the same again.

I press today’s letter to my stomach. My wool sweater scratches my wrist. I walk faster, glancing over my shoulder as if someone were watching.

Maybe someone is. Maybe it’s him.

I don’t stop until I’m near the tree at the edge of the park. Students ride bicycles and leaves tremble in the afternoon breeze. Everything is normal. Still, my heart won’t stop racing. I glance around again, some foolish part of me expecting him, but he isn’t there. He never is. I’m alone save for a few bikers, and none of them linger in the park. Who would when it’s this early and so cold?

When I’m certain I’m alone, I open the envelope. Today it’s short. I know this because usually ink bleeds through every inch of the back of the page. That can’t be a good sign. My hands shake as I unfold the letter.
It’s a single sentence: Meet me at the Orpheus fountain today at 4pm.

A chill rushes down my spine as if he’d just whispered the command over my skin. He’s never asked me to be anywhere before. I glance over my shoulder again but no one is there, only shadows.
I read the line again. And again.

Someone might see you, Laura. Put it away.

I don’t follow my internal command right away. I read it once more and run my finger over the simple sentence, marveling at the power it has over me.

I haven’t told anyone else about the letters. I mean, I’ve been getting them for…far longer than I liked to admit. I don’t know how I’d begin to explain this mutual, sick obsession, or what my friends would say. Well, actually I had a pretty good idea of what they’d say—that I’d gone insane, that I needed help, that I shouldn’t encourage this kind of behavior, that he could be a psycho killer. But I think the thing that would scare them the most was that I needed receiving these letters more than he needed to write them.

I don’t know if that last part is actually true, but it sure feels like it.

I slip the letter in my inside pocket and walk quickly even though my next class doesn’t start for another twenty minutes. I go around the old brick building twice, then linger near the bulletin boards near the entrance. The Chords have a recital next Tuesday. A few people are offering their services for babysitting, but most of us are offering piano lessons, flute lessons, trombone lessons, and…well, you get the point. All of us are over-skilled at things no one has any use for.

Some students from my class walk through the door. As I smile, I unconsciously slip my hand inside my jacket until it finds the letter.

It’s still there. Still secret. For another day, at least, no one knows.

The truth is, I don’t care if this is wrong. I don’t care if no one else understands. I’m addicted to his words. I live for them.

And I don’t want this obsession to end.