Harmony Kent's Blog, page 126

Monday Musings Part Twenty-five: Boomerang

Boomerang

Most of us desire a happy, smooth existence, right? Some of us, of course, chase the thrill, but even that is on our terms. We might go and climb Everest or swim the English channel in deepest, darkest, iciest winter, for example. However, in other aspects of our lives, we want to be treated in a certain way. Whether that be from other people or simply circumstances.

The law of karma is such that ‘what goes around, comes around’ and ‘we reap what we sow’. So, with that in mind, it makes a lot of sense to treat the world and its occupants the same as we want treating, doesn’t it?

This also ties in with the teaching that we make our world and then we live in it. So many apparently different things come back to the same laws of nature time and again.

If we distrust others, they will distrust us. If we live an angry life with a vicious tongue, then people (in their turn) will treat us the same way, eventually. This is because of conditioning. Over enough time, our family/friends/acquaintances will come to expect certain behaviour from us and will behave in kind, quite irrelevant of our actual behaviour. (Remember, most of our brains put in what they think should be there, not what is actually there.)

So, if we desire kindness, honesty, love, truthfulness, and genuineness, then we have to be all of these things for them to come back to us. First and foremost, we have to exhibit grace under pressure. After all, it’s easy to be nice when things are going well.

Although on the surface this looks like we’re talking about treating others well, and doing unto others as we would have done unto ourselves, what it comes down to is being kind to ourselves. Valuing ourselves.

If we truly loved ourselves, we could never hurt another. Whenever we behave unskilfully, it has its roots in some kind of confusion, which in turn, arises from some kind of pain or hurt. Some kind of self-doubt or self-loathing. We have something that we just cannot accept.

To behave cruelly, we have to shut some important part of us off. We stifle compassion. And whenever we wall any part of us in, we build barriers around our hearts. We cut ourselves off from the world. It can’t get in, not fully, and we can’t get out.

In the wise words of Zen:

  ‘Be kinder to yourself. And then let your kindness flood the world.’

If you’ve missed my previous Monday Musings, you can find the links here: http://www.harmonykent.co.uk/category/monday-musings/ 

 

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Monday Musings Part Twenty-four: One Step

One Step

 

In our previous Musings, we have looked at many topics. What they all come down to is letting go and moving on from a place of acceptance and stillness. A place of not putting ourselves (our conditioning) in the way. Some of them approach this from the negative side while others come from the positive. The path we take isn’t so important. What does matter is that we take that first step, time and time again.

We don’t learn by doing things, but by reflecting upon what we’ve done and the way we’ve done it.

In any given moment, two options provide us with constant companionship:

Step forward into growth

OR

Step backward into safety.

As we have seen already, change is inevitable. It is the only thing that is forever. Change is the only thing that doesn’t change. So, no matter how much we might want to cling to safety, it will prove an impossibility. Either we let go, or we get dragged. I know which I’d prefer.

Often, the path seems long and hard and overwhelming. When that happens, we’re looking at it all wrong. We’re attempting to climb the whole mountain in one mighty step. That will never work. Of course, all we need do is to take that first small step. Just one step at a time.

Given that we have to make a move, regardless of whether we want to or not, then doesn’t it make more sense to move forward rather than back? To grow through life rather than just go through?

And, while we’re moving forward, why not learn as much as possible along the way? Every journey has a stopping point. And the longer journeys hold many, as we have to rest before we can begin again. Such stopping points provide a great opportunity for quiet reflection upon how we got to where we are and the best way forward.

At such times of looking back, we have to take care not to get lost and take a trip down memory lane. Again, all we need is to see what’s passed, and not judge it or do anything else with it. The idea is that what’s in the rear-view can help us navigate what lies ahead.

While some planning is essential, as is awareness, flexibility remains paramount. It’s no good trying to stay on the same path in the face of an obvious landslide. Constant adaptation is key. To grow, we have to leave the train tracks far behind and forge our own path.

In the wise words of Zen:

  ‘Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.’

If you’ve missed my previous Monday Musings, you can find the links here: http://www.harmonykent.co.uk/category/monday-musings/ 

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Book Review: Reverie

Reverie by Lauren E Rico

Months ago, I received an Advanced Review Copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review. With so many books to review, I’ve only just gotten around to this one. In the event, the ARC proved to have so many formatting errors that it rendered it virtually unreadable. So, instead, I downloaded a copy from Kindle Unlimited on Amazon, and am basing my review on that copy. 

First of all, I have to say that I love the book cover. It shows the story so well, and I love the dark versus light too.

Secondly, and happily, I can say that in the Kindle copy, the formatting issues have been resolved. 

Abandoned at a young age by her mother, Julia James escaped an abusive childhood only to find herself in state care until she came of age. A fellow ward of the state, Matthew, took her under his wing and helped her to come out of her shell. The two of them found a passion for playing classical music, and it is the Cello that brought Julia back to life. Reverie begins at the point where Julia is studying at the McInnes Institute and has become lead Cello there. Despite her talent, she manages to remain largely unnoticed and earns the nickname of ‘Mouse’. Until, that is, Kreisler rival, Jeremy, sets her in his sights.

The first half of the book is told from Julia’s rather innocent point of view, and I found that I connected strongly with this lead character. What a wrench it felt, then, when the POV flipped abruptly to Jeremy’s obsessive and manipulative character. It read like two separate books, and I had to take a period to readjust to the massive change. As you might expect, I didn’t like Jeremy’s character at all, but that is all kudos to the author, as she portrayed him realistically enough for me to develop such a strong aversion to him. Right at the end of the book, the POV flips again, and this time it moves between Julia’s POV once more and Brett’s (Jeremy’s brother) in the epilogue. The story contains plenty of steamy scenes and suspense and will pull you right in.

While the ending isn’t a cliff-hanger, it is open-ended and leads you to book two, which–I’m pleased to say–is now available.

The characters and setting are written well and feel authentic. The author, obviously, knows her stuff when it comes to the world of classical music. Unfortunately, unpolished writing and spelling mistakes let it down somewhat. The amount of times ‘own’ is inserted into a sentence where it just isn’t needed, and waive is used instead of wave, as well as sooth instead of soothe, etc.  Add to that dialogue tags that tell what has just been artfully shown (he coaxes, I point out, I agree, I whine, he quips, etc.), and all the filter words (I’m sure, I notice, I can feel, I can see, etc.), and the name-dropping within dialogue, and it all ends up a bit tedious to read. Also, hyphens have been used where dashes are needed.

All of which leaves me in a quandary with the rating for this review. A book with characters this well drawn and the scene-setting so excellently done, and with such a good and consistent pace and plot, would get five stars from me, no question. However, with the issues mentioned above, this would earn it an automatic three stars. So, what to do? For sure, the book is so much better than a three, and this writer has brilliant potential. After some thought, I have plumbed for a four-star rating, with the proviso that it does contain some errors that need tidying up. All of that aside, this is an enjoyable and entertaining read. And, while some of it is predictable, it still has a unique twist and feels authentic and realistic. I look forward to reading book two: Rhapsody–so, watch this space for that review, coming soon!

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Monday Musings Part Twenty-three: Forgiveness Isn’t What You Think

Forgiveness Isn’t What You Think

 

In my younger days, I used to believe that forgiving a person helped them more than it helped me. Not so.

When we hold onto anger and blame, we hurt ourselves far more than we can damage anyone else.

In 2007, I suffered a catastrophic injury that resulted in my leg being amputated in 2010. The ensuing three years proved some of the hardest that I have ever had to live through. What’s more, the injury occurred because someone made a mistake. A surgeon didn’t know how to do his job and, indeed, performed surgery he wasn’t even qualified to perform.

To add further insult to injury, he then refused the offer of free further training from the specialist vascular surgeon to whom it fell to attempt to salvage the situation. What do you do with that?

Forgiveness isn’t what you think it is.

I could have gotten stuck in anger and blame and grown bitter. However, surely I’d suffered enough pain already without inflicting yet more upon myself? Having made enough mistakes in my life (thankfully, none quite as big as that), I knew all too well how bad the doctor in question might be feeling. And really, whether he felt bad or no was none of my business. No, my job was to allow the compassion that arose naturally to bathe me and wash it all away.

In choosing the path of compassion and forgiveness, I chose the path of freedom. I moved on.

When you choose to forgive those who have hurt you, you take away their power over you. If we, instead, hold onto the hurt, then each time we encounter the people that hurt us, we give them the power to push our buttons and hurt us still further.

Had I put all the blame on the doctor’s plate, and refused to take any responsibility for my actions and responses, then I wouldn’t have handled my disability and rehabilitation anywhere near as well as I did.

On its deepest level, when we forgive another person, what we are actually doing is forgiving ourselves. You might want to stop and think about that for a while. In fact, that’s one that I had to put on the back-burner for a long time before I could even begin to get to grips with it.

Forgiveness is not always easy. In fact, at times, to forgive the person who harmed us can feel more painful than the original injury that we suffered. And yet, without such forgiveness (letting go), we will find no peace.

When you forgive, you in no way change your past, but you most certainly alter your future.

In the wise words of Zen:

 

‘To forgive others is to be good to yourself.’

If you’ve missed my previous Monday Musings, you can find the links here: http://www.harmonykent.co.uk/category/monday-musings/ 

 

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Monday Musings Part Twenty-two: Herd Animal

Herd Animal

 Human beings are herd animals and, for this reason, can find it difficult to go against the crowd. To step out on your own can feel daunting at best. It can also liberate you.

Today’s musing also ties in with Musing Two, Be A Nobody and Musing Eighteen, Life Before Death (‘Listen to your small inner voice; it’s who you truly are.’). Often, our inner prompting will urge us to go against the majority opinion/perspective.

Research shows that we, just like other animals, are most likely to exhibit herd behavior at any time we feel threatened, which includes unsure, nervous, etc. Quite unconsciously, we look to others to show us the way. Unfortunately, this usually leads to the blind leading the blind.

Some of us, in fact, suffer so acutely from even the thought of separating ourselves from the group that we cannot cope with public speaking; with being singled out from the herd.

However, whether we feel settled or disturbed, it is essential that we not let the noise of others drown out our inner voice. Sometimes, that voice speaks loud and clear, and at others, it can be no more than the subtlest of nudges in our gut. More than likely, we won’t have a logical reason for such prompting, just a strong sense of direction.

It takes courage to listen to that prompting without relying on rational thought even when it takes us in a socially expected/approved direction. How much more so when it drives us toward a totally other course.

How do we know if it’s simply our conditioning driving us or whether we are hearing that small inner voice? The best way of checking is to sit quietly and meditate upon it for a while, and ask your question three times. Don’t have a set answer that you expect, but be open to whatever presents itself instead. Try asking both sides: the ‘yes’ and the ‘no’ and see which one you feel most drawn toward.

The more you train yourself in mindfulness of your thoughts, habitual stories, and ways of reacting, the more you will become aware when your conditioning attempts to wrest control from you.

Strive for nothing and be nothing. This not only brings peace and contentment but also allows that still small voice to fill your whole being. When we stop caring so much about what people think, then we achieve a liberated and happy existence and can more readily follow the prompting of our heart.

Of course, we want to keep an ear open for feedback from those we trust; however, we need to own our lives and take responsibility for our choices and actions.

In the wise words of Zen:

 

‘Do not follow the ideas of others, but learn to listen to the voice within yourself.’

If you’ve missed my previous Monday Musings, you can find the links here: http://www.harmonykent.co.uk/category/monday-musings/ 

 

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Resthaven

 

Hi folks! Today, we have Author Erik Therme with his YA Suspense novel, Resthaven. Please, help me to give him a warm welcome today. Erik will be be awarding a $25 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour. For his other tour stops and more chances to win, please click on the banner above, which will take you to his tour page over at the awesome Goddess Fish website

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

The last thing Kaylee wants to do is participate in a childish scavenger hunt—especially inside the abandoned retirement home on the edge of town. When she finds a bruised, deaf boy hiding inside one of the rooms, she vows to lead him to safety . . . only to discover the front doors are now padlocked, and her friends are nowhere to be found. Kaylee is about to learn that not everything that goes ‘bump in the night’ is imaginary, and sometimes there are worse things to fear than ghosts.

Excerpt:

The room door banged open, and I jumped to my feet as Wren stumbled inside with one hand clutched around her wrist. Her face was white as chalk, and I grabbed her arm as she lowered herself to the floor with a cry.

“It hurts, Kaylee,” she said, her voice almost a moan. “It hurts so bad . . .”

“What happened?” My eyes were fixed on the red scarf she was holding around her wrist, and it wasn’t until I took the flashlight from under her arm that I realized it wasn’t a scarf—it was a tattered rag. And it was soaked in blood.

“Tell me what happened,” I said, fighting to keep my voice steady.

She lifted the rag and I stifled a cry when I saw a gash of red. It immediately began to pool with fresh blood and she clamped the rag back around it.

“Keep pressure on it, right?” Her eyes began to shine. “That’s what they tell you to do? And keep it raised into the air?”

I tried to answer, but nothing came out. Her head thumped the wall as she leaned back. Strands of hair were plastered across her forehead with sweat.

About the Author:

Erik Therme has thrashed in garage bands, inadvertently harbored runaways, and met Darth Vader. When he’s not at his computer, he can be found cheering for his oldest daughter’s volleyball team, or chilling on the PlayStation 4 with his thirteen-year-old. He currently resides in Iowa City, Iowa—one of only seven places in the world UNESCO has certified as a City of Literature.

 

Website

https://www.eriktherme.com

 

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/erik.therme

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/ErikTherme

 

Goodreads

https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/7831573.Erik_Therme

 

BUY @ AMAZON

http://tinyurl.com/zdxwebl

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Monday Musings Part Twenty-one: Painting Pain

Painting Pain

 

All of us tell ourselves stories about what confronts us. We paint pictures in our heads of how we think things are. Then we compare this to the picture we’ve already painted about how we think it’s supposed to be. This habit is what most screws us up in life. In effect, what we’re doing is painting pain.

Herein lies suffering.

Our brains constantly filter out and add in to aid us in making sense of our world. Which means, of course, that our brains constantly make things up. Rarely do we see something just as it is. Usually, it comes through the filters behind our senses. Sit for a moment and think about how certain smells or sounds can trigger memories and emotional responses for you (or even words you hear or read). Most of the time, we are anything but neutral when it comes to our experiences.

This is why there are as many different viewpoints as there are human beings.

My experience of writing this is not your experience of reading it. And, I’m sure, if you shared this with a friend, their experience of these words would likely differ from yours. Some of you will absolutely need to hold this as a physical book in your hands, while others will be content to look at it on an e-reader. Though still the same book, and the same words, our experience differs.

Once or twice, I’ve experienced a delay between what I see and the brain making sense of it and giving me an understandable image. And, while this isn’t helpful from a functional point of view, it serves to show how much our brains fill in and leave out. Happily, the following happened while I sat in a car as a passenger and not as the driver. While travelling along a rural road, we topped a hill that revealed a hidden dip. I think that what my brain did next was because I saw something I simply hadn’t expected to see.

I received a series of broken images that made no sense. It is impossible to put the vision into words, as that would need descriptors with which we can identify. And, at that point, I had none. After a few seconds, by which time the driver had already eased off the gas, my brain identified water, a car, the road, and grass verges. It took only a fraction of a second for all of that to then coalesce into something I could relate to: The road had flooded in the dip, and a car sat in the middle of the pool, stranded and evidently half-submerged. Meanwhile, either side of the dip still had road and verges. Interestingly enough, until my brain ordered what I saw, it all appeared upside down, so that what should have been on top came out on the bottom and vice-versa.

On the flip side, the Temple I lived in moved to a new property. Initially, we had no coat hooks for visitors, so everyone hung their coats on the newel post at the bottom of the stairs. A couple of weeks passed, and finally, we put up the required hooks. Not one person noticed them. The whole dozen still hung their coats on the newel post. This is because their brains had already catalogued the space, and on each subsequent visit, their brains gave them what they knew should be there, not was actually there.

While (usually) this keeps us safe and functioning and stops us from getting run over by a bus (for example), it can work against us. Especially when it pertains to the stories that we tell ourselves and the specific pictures that we paint.

If our views are strong enough, then chances are, all we will see are our views and nothing else. It takes a lot to knock us into a new perspective. Though difficult, we need to catch our stories and pictures and identify where our editing and colouring have taken place.

Meditation and quiet reflection offer us the best tools for this job. This is because, the rest of the time, we’re too busy and full of noise to see. The trouble is that unless we’re willing to set aside at least a few minutes each day for these, then much of our life and world will remain hidden to us. We will be living a make-believe life that shows us little more than the creations of our mind.

And, it is when we have a dichotomy between what we think we see and what we want to see that we experience suffering.

The thing is, things only have the power that we give them.

Peace comes when we let go of it all.

In the wise words of Zen:

‘For things to reveal themselves to us, we need to be ready to abandon our views about them.’

If you’ve missed my previous Monday Musings, you can find the links here: http://www.harmonykent.co.uk/category/monday-musings/ 

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Monday Musings Part Twenty: It’s Never too Late

It’s Never too Late

 

Recently, I came across a quote by George Elliot that resonated with me.

‘It is never too late to be who you might have been.’

 

For me, this single sentence contains a book full of meaning.

And, you know, we don’t have to wait until something is broken to make changes. Why not start over to create something better? In fact, each time we sleep then wake, we start over. Each morning, we get born again, and what we do today, right now, matters far more than what we did yesterday.

To take this even further: each new inhalation offers us a fresh start. We can press the reset button at any time. The only thing that limits us is us. In the words of the Buddha (from the Dhammapada):

‘You are what you think.

All that you are arises from your thoughts.

With your thoughts, you make your world.’

 

Meditators soon discover that what they’re doing is splitting the self over and over until nothing remains. And from that nothing, they constantly create their world. While stuck in our ego, in our box, and our set ways of being, we cannot create anything new. Our cup is overfull. The pot we’ve shaped and the walls we’ve built hem us in.

The emptying process can feel daunting at times. It’s fine to feel scared now and then. However, we have to get out there and live. We have to open up and love and make our mistakes. That’s how we learn and grow stronger. That’s how we start over and become who we want to be.

Our life doesn’t run on tracks. We can make a U-turn anytime we want, or veer left or right, up or down. It is only our selves that keep us locked on target, even when everything around us is yelling that we’re headed in the wrong direction. We get stuck.

In contrast, the emptier we become, the more like water we become. Water always finds a way. If it can’t go through, it will go around. It is in the nature of water to flow.

Nowhere is it written that we have to know it all. None of us, not a one, has all the answers. The fool who knows he is a fool is that much wiser. You start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. Step out on your journey.

Each moment is new. Each breath is a new beginning. Our lives offer us constant opportunities to relearn everything, if only we have the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and the heart to forge ahead. And, just because something has a long history, it doesn’t have to be a life sentence.

If you want to make a change, then what are you waiting for? Only you can keep making excuses. Only you can give you permission. Only you can make your situation and timing optimal.

In the wise words of Zen:

‘No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.’

If you’ve missed my previous Monday Musings, you can find the links here: http://www.harmonykent.co.uk/category/monday-musings/ 

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Monday Musings Part Nineteen: It’s Okay to Have a Meltdown

 

It’s Okay to Have a Meltdown

 

While we’re on our life journey, it’s important to remember that we’re only human. And not a one of us is a saint (most probably). And, I’m sure that each of those known as saints had their crises of faith at one time or another. It’s okay to stumble from time to time, and even to have a full-blown meltdown. This is what it is to be human. This is how we (eventually) grow.

The important thing is not to move in and stay there. Don’t unpack your bags and get comfortable in your dark place. Let out your emotion. Cry it out if you need to. Then move on. Reset your focus and continue on your life’s journey.

Also, don’t confuse your path with your destination. Just because it’s stormy now doesn’t mean that you aren’t headed for sunshine. Everything that we experience—every single thing—is just for now. Just for the time being.

And, once the clouds are behind us, they’re behind us. Why would anyone want to go chasing the storm? If I’m going to chase anything, it might as well be rainbows. However, far better to simply allow it all to come and go. It’s just the scenery of life.

The essential thing is that we keep taking one step at a time on our journey. It’s when we wander off the path and get side-tracked by the scenery that we end up in great suffering. Either because we didn’t see the stinging nettles coming, or that we found roses, and now they’re dying off.

All things change. All things die. Including our suffering. It’s all here just for a while.

When on the journey, we want to keep half an eye on our goal, but only the half. Far more essential is to absorb the journey and the life-lessons with which it presents us. Most of our focus wants to stay on our current step and the step right in front of us.

Driving a car is a good analogy here. To steer, we need to watch a ways down the road while also keeping an eye on what’s right ahead. And, while we do glance into the rear-view mirror from time to time, if we were to get caught up in the reflection, we’d likely crash all too soon. A successful driver knows what’s behind as well as what’s in front and to the side. And still, the main focus is on what’s happening right now.

In the wise words of Zen:

 

‘Every day is a journey. And the journey itself is home.’

If you’ve missed my previous Monday Musings, you can find the links here: http://www.harmonykent.co.uk/category/monday-musings/ 

 

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Time to Get Your Spook On!

 

First up is the October KU Challenge and Giveaway! With so many FREE ebooks you’ll still be reading them next Halloween!  

Enter here: http://madmimi.com/signups/260653/join
Are you a Kindle Unlimited Member? Join the October KU Challenge & Giveaway 10/1-10/31!
Over 50 authors have come together to offer an awesome giveaway in an effort to find new readers!

Come meet your new favorite author. Read for FREE with KU. Even better, we’ve pooled our funds to offer an awesome giveaway! Enter to win a Kindle and Amazon Gift Cards just for reading and telling us what you liked.


Not a Kindle Unlimited Member? You can enjoy a 30 day trial membership.

Join Amazon Kindle Unlimited 30-Day Free Trial [image error]

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Not to be missed is the Paranormal Bar & Grille

I’ve teamed up with four other fab authors to bring you great Halloween reads and prizes

All through October!

Come and join this group of five authors who love nothing more than to trigger the chill that crawls up your back, the nervous glance tossed over your shoulder. We invite you to discover outstanding books and check out our awesome tour prizes.

https://storyempire.com/bar-and-grille/

Your gateway to all the other tours, scavenger hunts, and prizes!

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