Rob J. Hayes's Blog, page 22

5 GrimDark Anime You Might Not Realise are GrimDark

5 GrimDark Anime You Might Not Realise are GrimDark
OK, I'm gonna start this one by pointing out that I have not watched every anime ever so this list will be based on those I have watched. I will however start it with a respectful mention to BESERK as I have not watched it, but am reliably informed it is GrimDark as fuck!
Onto the list. Here's 5 GrimDark animes you really should watch:
Elfen Lied Because hot anime girls with guns.Hey, perfect, this one just became available on Netflix. Go get it watched.
Elfen Lied is set in a close-ish approximation of real world Japan, only murderous bounty hunters are a thing and the government has created a bunch of mutants with stretchy invisibly hands that can tear folk apart... and they all look like red-haired girls with horns.
This anime isn't just a gory action series (though it has more than enough blood to satisfy if that's your deal), it's a dark look at a fractured personality born by hideous experimentation and the power to cause carnage on a very real scale. I'm going to emphasize the fractured personality bit here because one is... essentially a child, while the other is a homicidal superbeing.
It's well worth a watch even if it does suffer from the annoying anime trope of boring-as-shit male lead.
Ergo Proxy Following a trend.I'm gonna start this one by saying I've watched this series 3 times and I'm still not entirely sure I understand what is going on 100% of the time... but damn! is it a gorgeous series.
OK, so Ergo Proxy takes place in a world where society is confined to enclosed cities and humanity is heavily monitored by robot counterparts that occasionally go insane due to a virus and FUCK SHIT UP! So our main character starts looking into this and then she finds... well basically the God of Death. Then they all go on a little road trip outside the city and shit just continues to get weirder.
So why does this count as GrimDark? Because the world is a horrible place in Ergo Proxy. Humanity has basically had its free will stripped from it by those in power and the core of the series is about said humanity waking up from enforced catatonia.
Just don't ask me what the fuck is going on during the TV game show episode...
Ga Rei Zero FIGHT!!!Spoiler Alert! The first episode of Ga Rei Zero makes the GRRM reaper look positively cheery. It's pretty much “Meet your cast of major players. Now watch them all DIE!!!!” Second episode doesn't look much better because you're introduced to the main lass... who dies at the end of that episode (or does she?).
So after the fairly extreme opening the show goes back in time and we watch our main character build a loving relationship with a big-sister-esque character... all the while knowing that they're eventually going to kill each other.
On a grander scale Ga Rei Zero is again set in a close-approximation of real world Japan only demons are a thing and they are also invisible to anyone without the ability to see them. And some can be controlled, but it involves a person merging their soul with the demon and that demon steadily consumes the person. It's dark, but it's not the darkest vision of a world. The GrimDark really comes from watching the relationship between our 2 main girls grow as they become more and more like sisters because in the end we know it ends somewhere beyond badly.
Seriously, if you watch this one do NOT get attached to any characters. Or... you know... do because it makes it more fun when they die... they will die.
Code Geass When best friends fight... with guns... and armies.I'm going to ignore the fact that Code Geass is basically a retelling of Gundam Wing because...
Yes, it is! It's not about the mechs at all, alright. It's about the fact that the entire show is about 2 best friends knowing that the only way they can stop WAR FOR ALL TIME is to give the people of the world a war SO ATROCIOUS that it can never be allowed to happen ever again. It's also about those 2 friends knowing that accomplish their insane goals they both need to become MONSTERS and also that they simply can't survive it because the people of the world need to have a scapegoat for the sheer scale of death and destruction that they are going to cause in pursuit of PEACE!
So now that's out of the way I'll just say that this show takes place in a world where war is just... a thing basically. It's pretty much common place and the common folk of the world are pretty much brainwashed into not only accepting this, but worshipping the bastards who are waging war. Oh, and the Japanese are basically 2nd class citizens because they lost.
We should also talk about the fact that the power our main character possesses is the power to bend people to his will... and sometimes he uses that power by accident... or does he? Honestly, the main character is pretty much a high-functioning psychopath who SPOILERS actually orders his own sister to murder a bunch of folk before killing herself. Oh, and the time he tells his best friend (love interest) to forget that he exists... yeah, he's a dick!
Code Geass makes the list because it's set in a horrific world where segregation and war are common place and because the main character is true product of that world.
Naruto GRIM. DARK. AS. FUCK.Probably threw you all for a bit of a curveball here. You're likely saying “Naruto isn't Grim or Dark, let alone GrimDark. It's about a screw up kid who actually is crazy powerful and he makes friends and has crazy adventures and...”
WRONG! Time to burst your bubble. Naruto has some of the most GrimDark shit I've ever witnessed in anime and instead of selling you on it I'm just going to list a bunch of them.
SPOILERS INC!
Naruto is about ninjas and different clans have different specialisations. One such clan has hollowed out their bodies to act as nests for insects which they then use to suck the life force out of their enemies.
Sasuke hates his older brother Itachi. Why? Because Itachi murdered their entire family. Why? Because Itachi was forced to murder their entire family in order to save Sasuke's life. Why? Because the people in charge ordered it. Instead of explaining this to Sasuke, Itachi turns himself into the living embodiment of a villain and constantly provokes Sasuke in the hope that Sasuke will get strong enough to kill Itachi. He actually makes his own little brother kill him because... redemption, I guess.
One villain actually fights by forcing his own bones to grow out of his skin into sharpened spikes. At one point he actually creates a tree of his own bones.
Death is real. When people die, they die... unless you're Orichimaru who is able to infect people with his spirit where upon they slowly start to be taken over by his spirit.
There's a badguy who fights by controlling puppets made out of dead people. Two of such puppets are his own parents... who killed specifically to make puppets out of them. Oh, and he also made a puppet out of himself.
Naruto has a demon inside of him, a crazy nine-tailed fox demon thing that was put inside of him by his own father because turning your son into a ticking-time bomb of demon energy is fun. At one point the demon inside of Naruto pretty much takes over and he exhibits so much power that his skin is burned away... but the demon heals him as his skin is burned away. So for a while Naruto is stuck in agony as the demon controls his body, melts his skin off, and heals him so it can melt his skin off some more.
Yeah, Naruto may be sold as a kids program... but DAMN! it has some of the GrimDarkiest shit in it.


Anyway, those are 5 animes you should give a try if you're a fan of GrimDark. They're probably not the ones you might expect either. Do you have any others you think I should try? Let me know in the comments.
Rob J. Hayes is the author of the acclaimed  The Ties that Bind trilogy  and the upcoming Best Laid Plans duology. You can find out more on his  website here .

Review Blog - Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

I think I was bought this book as a present a while back. It's certainly not the type I'd pick off the shelf. Not because of the cover or the blurb or anything, but because it's popular. I have one of those odd personalities where if someone says to try something popular, I scream "I'm not one of you!" and run away with my fingers in my ears singing along to some obscure band that no one else has ever heard of. And, yes, sometimes I do end up cutting off my own nose because screw you, Face! But anyway, someone bought this one for me and I'm always willing to at least try the books others give me... even if it is about 2 years after the fact. And I'm glad I did finally get around to reading it.

RPO is set in the not-too-distant-future where the world is a crappy place and the poorest of folk live in the most ridiculous form possible, but thankfully there's the OASIS. The OASIS is where half, if not more, of the story takes place; it's a massive, immersive computer simulation very reminiscent of an MMORPG computer game. It's often referred to as a game, but it's not a game, in fact the book itself often can't decide whether it's a game or not. It's not. It's a simulation with games embedded in it. And now that hair is well and truly split, I shall move on.

The creator, curator, and majority share holder of the OASIS and the company that owns it dies. This enigmatic man leaves behind a new sort of treasure hunt game, spread out over the whole OASIS, to find a worthy successor for his crown (robes). Of course in reality it's not so much a worthy successor as a geek who's in to all the same things he was (mostly stuff from the 1980s and plenty of computer games). The interesting bit here is that it creates a whole new subculture of folk who study the decade and everything this creator liked. Trends always come back into fashion eventually, but by creating the biggest and most elaborate treasure hunt in history, this character artificially brings the 1980s back into focus. That's something I can get behind... apart from the hair and the shoulder pads. Definitely the films though. I do so miss 1980s Hollywood, back when they knew how to make a film. Yes, I'm reminiscing!

So the story focuses on Wade Owen Watts (WOW), also known as Parzival, as he struggles against poverty, the perils of online friendships, an oppressive corporate machine, and the need to constantly spew out pop culture references.

First things first: The story is very clever. It starts with Wade using the OASIS to escape his crappy life and using the treasure hunt as a way of justifying the amount of time he spends away from the real world. It progresses at a rapid pace and so does Wade, quickly moving on from squalor to riches and struggling against corporate douchebaggery, making and breaking friendships along the way. Then it turns into a bit of heist story for a few chapters where we discover the Wade is apparently some sort of man with the plan genius, before erupting into an old Japanese Godzilla film. If you think I'm joking about any of that, just read it...

The characters are oddly endearing. I actually found Wade himself to be the least likeable when compared to his supporting cast. Between the best friend Aech (who acts about 5 years younger than he is), the pair of samurai wannabe brothers; Shoto and Daito, and the love interest Art3mis (who appears to be modeled after every WoW players' wet dream), the cast quickly get under your skin and make you want to keep reading to find out how it will all play out and if all of them will survive. I should stop here and point out that I mean survive in 2 different ways as people can both die in the real world and in the OASIS. Each of the supporting cast also has their own big twist and that's all part of the story as well as it deals heavily with the idea that the online world is an escape from the real one, and there anyone can be anything.

The twists come thick and fast and, though many of them are predictable, the pace of the book only slows down briefly towards the middle when Wade becomes rich and starts wallowing in self pity. It's all part of the lesson he needs to learn to become the man he needs to be to don the creator's robes.

In the end this story boils down to one boy/man's quest to become virtual God only to realise that... REDACTED DUE TO SPOILERS...

I did have a couple of fairly major issues with the book. First was the pop culture references. Yes, they served a purpose and yes it was part of the foundation the book was built upon and the more subtle ones I had no problem with. Unfortunately, half of the references were more like name dropping TV shows or films from the 80s. It kinda felt like the author was winking at the audience every time he popped one in, telling all of us who look back fondly on that decade that we're relevant once again. It had the effect of dragging me, quite roughly, out of the narrative and reminding me that I'm reading a book about a man's obsession with the past.

The other issue for me was Wade's occasional unbelievability. At the beginning he spews out lists of things he's watched/read/listened to and tells us how many times he's watched/read/listened to them... along with going to school everyday... and sleeping... and I assume at least a few other things. I just can't see his has the time to do it. It's not a matter of will, it's shear matter of time. Then there's the bit towards the end where he suddenly becomes a genius hacker without ever having shown any aptitude for it before. One moment he's a gamer and treasure hunter, then next he's able to hack through sophisticated firewalls and what not. I understand that he ...REDACTED DUE TO SPOILERS... but that does not excuse the fact that he suddenly has new knowledge and abilities that we never saw (or even heard about) him earning.

At the end of the day I enjoyed the hell out of this book. It was fun, fast, interesting, and played on my love of the 80s and of MMORPGs. I give it a good 4.5 stars, but as always I round up.


Rob J. Hayes is the author of the acclaimed  The Ties that Bind trilogy  and the upcoming Best Laid Plans duology. You can find out more on his  website here .

Game of Thrones: Bastard vs Bastard

Game of Thrones post. SPOILERS ARE COMING.
Seriously. SPOILERS!!!
So everyone is talking about the latest Game of Thrones episode and saying things like:
“I loved it.” - Eddie “Old Bear” Skelson
“There's something broken inside you if this isn't a top three episode.” - Adrian “High Heels” Collins.
“Wow!”- People.
Usually when this happens I am called upon by the Gods of justice and good taste to refute these claims and bash the shit out of the piss poor dialogue and plot holes that could swallow up all of Westeros... But today...
Nah, I'm still gonna do it.
Let's start with the beginning and Dany's continual cultural genocide. Some of you will probably know by now just how much I hate Danaerys Stormborne. She's a bully and a murderer with no respect for people or their cultures. Now I'm not saying slavery or degradation of women is right (because it isn't), but neither is straight up murdering folk who have a different world view than you. Religion might not enter into it, but Dany is basically reliving the Crusades... only with dragons.
That being said... I liked a couple of things about Dany's little storyline this week. First off was she actually listened to one of her advisors... I'm gonna take a moment. It's needed.
Dany has made a habit throughout the story (both books and TV) of ignoring pretty much anything and everything her advisors have to say. Her subsequent decisions usually lead to bad things and lots of death. Here we see her listen to Tyrion of house Wine and... well... there's still a little bit of death but overall not much. Hats off to her for finally taking her head out of arse.
Perhaps this is the start of a new Dany. Probably not. She'll just sail away now and we'll pretend Mereen and all the other cities are fine. No more problems there. All hail the glorious... Is she gone? Across the ocean, you say? Back to slaving it is.
I did like the scene of the dragons finally pulling their weight (though I'm wondering about her telepathic(?) ability to communicate with them). It was a bit like: Ahh, bless. They brought little wooden boats to a dragon fight. And they knew she had dragons... they didn't think this siege through, did they?
Oh, and what about that horde of 1 million Dothraki charging into the city? Let's just pretend that goes without incident...
Enough about Dany. No wait. One more thing. What was with that scene with her and Asha? (I don't care if you want to call her Yara. You're wrong.) They might as well have just kept winking at each other and licking their lips. It played out like a scene from a Carry On movie.
We're really done with Dany now. Onto the real meat and potatoes. Bastard vs Bastard. Jon “Version 2.0” Snow vs Joffrey “Version 2.0” Bolton... Lets ignore Jon's awesome expression for a moment and concentrate on the straightness of Sansa's back! Built to Queen!
I liked the build up. The scene of Jon and Sansa arguing to set up the dramatic twist later on. The Onion Knight and Giant's Bane having a bit of a chat. Davos finding the site of the pyre was a bit eye-rolling.
I'm gonna call a spade a spade here. Jonny boy deserved to lose the fight. He should have lost the battle. That whole bit with Rickon was a joke and someone should really have told the boy to zig and most certainly zag. Dumbass! It kinda felt like the Martells (don't get me started), in that the TV show folk had no idea what to do with Rickon so they just murderised him. And then Jon got angry and committed suicide... or at least he really should have. There was no way his cavalry were catching up to him in time. Nope.
Then came the drunken stumble through a green screen. Maybe not, maybe it was filmed in location. SO MUCH CGI. Hey, it looked quite impressive with all the horses smashing into each other and everything. Fun. But SO MUCH CGI.
Taking a break for a pet peeve. I honestly get angry with how easy TV folk seem to think it is to chop a head off. Just... no!
So the battle was good actually. Lots of over the top gore and a couple of “Bro! You found me in all the chaos!” moments, but for the most part it did feel like chaos and I liked that.
BUT. What the fuck was with the piles of bodies? They were very neatly stacked in a sort of barrier to hem the good guys in. This just made me laugh. It was utter bullshit designed to create a specific set piece.
Then the wall of infantry happened and... I think Jon's boys need to learn how to properly utilise a giant. Give the bastard a club, a tree. Something to swing and break the enemy lines. ALSO, he's a thirty feet tall slab of brutish muscles and none of Bolton's boys broke and ran. I've played Warhammer. Terror checks are an arse and once one man turns tail and flees, others soon join in. Jon needs to learn to giant better.... which probably won't happen now because there aren't any more of them. There is no way that wouldn't thing coming at you wouldn't cause spontaneous defecation.
So Littlefinger ex machina happens and saves the day and... well done, I guess. What a terrible end to a dramatic build up and a good battle scene to boot. Just a whole heap of meh right at the end. For all the Overwatch players. I love this so much!
Not much more to say other than the Bastard's end. So Jon Snow is probably fairly built, I reckon he's got a bit of strength to him, probably knows how to swing a punch. Ramsay is down, head on the ground and... he takes about twenty punches to the face maybe. I think they might be underestimating the sort of damage twenty unprotected punches to the face can do. Bit of blood will do it? Sure. Why not?
Then we have feeding time with the dogs. I'm a little torn with this bit. I'd have liked to see a little bit of a ghost of who Sansa used to be. No matter what the man had done, she still watched a dood torn apart and eaten. I think she probably could have thrown up at the sight. I probably would have. Then she could have walked away with that little smile at the corner of her mouth and fuck yeah!

Sansa for queen!

Rob J. Hayes is the author of the acclaimed  The Ties that Bind trilogy  and the upcoming Best Laid Plans duology. You can find out more on his  website here .

Book Review: Jacked by Kirk Dougal

Jacked by Kirk Dougal is a YA sci-fi thriller with a very interesting concept. The idea is that almost all electronics (or tech) has shut down after the Crash. At the same time, the majority of the population either died or went brain dead. A bunch of religious zealots (Black Shirts) are now in charge and they have pretty much criminalized the use or fixing of any technology. Then along come the Fixers. Individuals who can bring electronics back to life with nothing but a touch. Tar is one of these Fixers and the story is about his struggle against the Black Shirts.

The concept is what is really interesting here. Not the dystopian future or the lack of tech, but the idea that these religious fanatics have taken over and are running something a lot like a dictatorship. The Fixers themselves are the other real interest and (without any spoilers) I liked the way Dougal explains their mysterious powers.

It was clear a lot of work has gone into the world building and the characters use of internet-age related slang was a good way to show it. The characters say 404 instead of lost and fragged instead of the more popular f-word. It was quite fun even if I couldn't quite figure out what book meant as it seemed to have multiple different meanings.

The characters were interesting and none more so than the baddies. In fact I'd have liked a bit more of an exploration into their lives. Our main character of Tar felt a little like every other YA hero. He was strong willed but not very strong, had a mysterious ability that puts him front and center, and he just wants to help everyone. He was a bit bland to be honest, but not enough to be a distraction.

The biggest problem the book faced was its pacing. It feels like nothing is happening for a lot of it as the characters are chased, captured, escape, chased, captured, escape. And the main character doesn't make a decision until the final 20%. Until then the story happens to him rather than him happening to the story. There were a few times I was growling at Tar to take control of his life even for just a moment.

The world feels a little small because everything that is happening is happening in such a small area of it. This Crash was a worldwide event but all the major players appear to be in one city. It seems a little odd. I like to find out what was going on in other areas of the world and how the Crash was affecting them.

In the end, Jacked was a fun take on the YA dystopian thriller. Fans of Hunger Games and Divergent will probably love it, but it wasn't really my cup of tea.



Rob J. Hayes is the author of the acclaimed  The Ties that Bind trilogy  and the upcoming Best Laid Plans duology. You can find out more on his  website here .

Review Blog - Emperor of Thorns (And the Broken Empire Trilogy) by Mark Lawrence

OK. What a ride. Mark Lawrence appears to be able to write good.

Where to start? Without spoilers. In this third book we complete the story of Jorg growing up. In Prince he felt very much like a child trying to fill big boots. In King felt like a defiant (often petulant) teen. Here we see him growing into adulthood and he does feel a lot more grownup. Many of his hard edges have been worn off by time, experience, and maturity. But he still has some pretty damned sharp edges.

I'm not going to lie. I'm going to struggle to review Emperor without reviewing the whole trilogy at the same time. On it's own I give Emperor 4.5 stars (rounding up as always). Like the other two it's a slow start and some of the more horrific acts are contained within that slow start and that made it a little difficult at times. But when the book picks up it goes full throttle and doesn't stop.

In Emperor we're again set across 2 different time lines, one of which is set before the culmination of events in King. It's a masterpiece of planning and works very well despite the fact that we know how everything turns out. The present timeline takes place just before congression where Jorg plans to finally claim the throne of empire and deals with the mounting threat of the Dead King.

We also get to see a new point of view in Emperor. We get a welcome few chapters from Chella's perspective and those are some of the most interesting in the book as we get to see just how she is dealing with being... well.. alive.

OK. So. Without spoilers. Emperor is awesome, as both Prince and King were awesome. It's a worthy finale to a series that treads new ground and doesn't shy away from being an arse and also shoving that arse in your face.

But I want to talk about the trilogy as a whole because that's really where the series stands out. Individually I give the books 4.5 each, but as a whole I happily give them a 5.

Mark does such a good job of subverting the 'hero' trope. The Broken Empire isn't just a story about an arsehole kid growing up to be a bit of an arsehole adult. It's the story of antagonist. Jorg is the bad guy. He's the villain. In any other story he would be the big bad that we hate and want our hero to take down. But in this story we find him to be insidiously charming even when he's murdering the p***... actually, especially when he's murdering the p***.

We see Jorg commit atrocious acts, hideous things that make him a horrible person. But we also see Jorg grow. Over the course of the trilogy we see him all throughout his years and you actually chart him growing up and we experience it. We actually ride along as he grows from a callous, damaged youth into a tempered, even more damaged adult.

AND we see this villainous hero of ours save the world and he certainly doesn't do it by being good. Jorg Ancrath is Dr Doom. He's a villain who honestly believes the world is better in his care than anyone else's. And he's right. And all of that just makes the ending even more poignant.

Of the trilogy, Emperor is the best, but King is my favourite. It's my favourite because it empathises so well that Jorg is the villain by facing him off against a character who in most stories would be the hero. Yet their roles are reversed because of how attached we become to Jorg and his evil ways.

The Broken Empire has easily claimed a spot in one of my favourite fantasy series ever. EVER! It's epic fantasy. It's grimdark. Hells, in some ways it's even YA, though the type of YA that would see Katniss hung by her own entrails within the first act.

So in summary: Damn you, Mark Lawrence! You made me love a true villain. Also, thanks for writing such an awesome story.


Rob J. Hayes is the author of the acclaimed  The Ties that Bind trilogy  and the upcoming Best Laid Plans duology. You can find out more on his  website here .

Review Blog: Warcraft the Movie

Even the poster is reminiscent of an old school fantasy flick.
Let me start by saying this: I went to see this film with my girlfriend. I am an ex-hardcore World of Warcraft(WoW) raider. She knows nothing of the world/game other than my occasional fond reminiscing... which she pretty much just nods along to and fazes me out.
We both really enjoyed it.
The visual effects were good, the battles were fun and not in the slightest bit realistic (we'll get to that), the story was... a little confusing in places, it had a ton of little easter eggs for us WoW players, and Travis Fimmel was Ragnar Lothbrok and that's OK because we love him for it.
I'm not about to say this film is the next epic of our times. I'm not about to tell Lord of the Rings to move over for the new king. What I will say is that the film was fun. It was good, clean fantasy fun the likes of which I used to watch as a child when Willow came on. This isn't the sort of film you expect to turn into a long-running franchise (although part of me would love it to), it's a stand alone fantasy yarn with epic battles, fantastic creatures, and some very shoddy accents.
I want to talk about the battles for a bit. They're not realistic. Not in the slightest. But that's good. It's how it should be in Warcraft. Let's compare it to WoW for a moment. WoW isn't about legions squaring off against legions, it's about heroes. It's about warriors and mages and priests and dirty dirty rogues all decked out in epic armour. It's about 1 hero worth a hundred soldiers. We don't want the realistic push/pull of a shield wall punctuated by the odd Willhelm scream. We want loose pockets of generic troops battering the shit out of each other while the hero and villain of the piece make loving eye contact over the throng and push through the hordes to face each other in glorious combat. And that's what we get. We get over-the-top fun battles. We also get a hippogriff going to town on a bunch of orcs and that's awesome! Oh, and the frost wolf carrying a soldier off between its jaws into the woods! I loved that bit. Say what you want, but riding a flying eagle-lion down into a horde is both epic and badass.
The story was complicated. Honestly, I think it tried to do too much with a relatively short amount of time. This isn't entirely the WoW history you buffs out there might know. The players are the same but their roles have been tweaked here and there. It makes sense when you think about it. The lore of WoW is so tightly interwoven with itself that it would be near impossible to tell it that way without completely confusing the issue. This is a simplified version of what some among us might know. The problem is it tries to fit in too much. Durotan is pensive. Garona is strong. Llane is heroic. Ragnar is having a bit of a sad.
There's a love story included that just feels rushed and pointless. There's a shit ton of time spent setting up Thrall just in case there's a sequel set 30 odd years down the timeline. There's a bit with Glenn Close that... kinda feels like it was included just to show us all Dalaran and to get one of the main characters away from the action for a bit. It's too much time spent on pointless little bits and not enough time spent on the Dwarves of Ironforge, the Night Elves of... I forget what their city is called because no one ever went there. We all just hung around outside Ironforge in my day and duelled each other. Good times! Needs Moar Dorf.
It really is my biggest gripe at the film. It spent a lot of time on pointless aspects and didn't give us a lot of what we all probably wanted to see. There was next to no time spent on the Dwarves. The Elves had even less of a part. The Gnomes were no where to be seen along with the Taurens and the Trolls. And where the hell was Uther? I would have loved to have seen the old palladin knocking some heads or at the very least looking cool in his Valour armour.
But this is digressing a bit because it's a gripe from the point of view of an ex-WoW player who wanted to see everything brought to life on the big screen rather than just a snippet of the world and its rich history.
That being said there were enough easter eggs to keep me smiling throughout. From the shot of a Murloc hiding underneath a bridge and giving the old “Murarawawalwawlalwagh” to beautifully rendered shots of Goldshire and Stormwind. There was enough to make me nostalgic for the old days and the film really played on that fact.
So there we go. I liked the film. A lot. I would happily recommend it to people who want a bit of a high-fantasy jaunt, and even more so to anyone who has played WoW. Ragnar does not need shoes to slay orcs.

One other thing I'd like to mention. The existence of this film got me wondering a little. They chose the period of time where Orcs first came to Azeroth. The first war. It's an important event in the history of the world and I can see why they chose it. But! I do wonder if they might have been better served choosing something like Arthas' story as he succumbs to darkness and eventually becomes the lich king. That might have been more exciting and may possibly have been done without quite so much exposition.
Then I started thinking a bit more and thought: Why do they need to set it at a point in the world's history? Instead of telling that story, couldn't they tell the story of Molten Core? An entire film about an intrepid raid of adventurers overcoming Ragnaros the Firelord and all his minions.
The world is so rich and so large that there is a shit ton of possible stories they could tell within the universe. And personally, I hope that they tell some more of them.



Rob J. Hayes is the author of the acclaimed  The Ties that Bind trilogy  and the upcoming Best Laid Plans duology. You can find out more on his  website here .

Where in the World is Rob J. Hayes?

Some of you may be wondering:
“Hey, Rob J. Hayes, just what in the seven circles of hell is going on with you? You haven't release a new book in years.”
And you'd be right in wondering that. So let me break it all down and set your woes at ease.
There are new books coming this very year. Three of them, in fact.
We'll start with a quick run-down of the past:I released The Ties that Bind(TTtB) in 2013. I then went to work on It Takes a Thief to Catch a Sunrise(ITaTtCaS) and released that in 2014.I then set to the sequel to TTtB, Best Laid Plans(BLP)In 2014 TTtB was picked up by Ragnarok Publications and all three books were re-released over 2014 and 2015.In 2015 I re-released ItaTtCaS.In 2015 I finished BLP and submitted it to Ragnarok Publications.In 2015 I finished work on a number of short stories all set in First Earth and submitted those to Ragnarok Publications to be released as The Bound Folio(TBF)In 2016 I finished the follow-up to ItaTtCaS, It Takes a Thief to Start a Fire.In 2016 I also finished a Sci-Fi thriller but shhhh! You're not supposed to know about that yet.
So that's a basic run-down of the past three years and it looks a bit crazy when presented as a bunch of dates and acronyms.
“But what does it all mean?” I hear you cry. “It's been so long since you released anything new!”
I hear you. I do. And I am very sorry about that. It all basically boils down to publishing schedules and my own particular brand of crazy. No. The other type of crazy.
I'm the type of person who likes to finish an entire series before submitting it to publishers. This means that Where Loyalties Lie was sitting on my computer, finished, for a good six months before I sent it off to Ragnarok because I wanted to send them The Fifth Empire of Man at the same time.
Along with their own changes to their publishing schedule, this means the follow-up to TTtB has been significantly delayed. For this I am truly sorry. Honestly, I am.  Bit of a dog theme in this one.
I actually can't wait to share it with you all because (don't tell my debut trilogy I said this) it's by far the better series of the two. But it's coming! Where Loyalties Lie has been set for a December 13th2016 release date! YAY!
Similarly, The Bound Folio was originally supposed to release early in 2016, but Ragnarok's changes to their publishing schedule has pushed it back again and again. Despite this, I am assured it will be releasing this quarter with an expected release date of June 2016. Honestly, the release of this one seems a bit of a mess and I wish I could have given you all a more definite release date a lot sooner. It's unfortunately out of my hands.
This leads me to It Takes a Thief to Start a Fire. This sequel has been a long time coming and I wrote it rather quickly. Since then it's been stuck in editing for a while, but there is light in the end of the tunnel. I'm confident that the latest version of the book will be its final one and, because I'm self-pubbing it, that means it's almost time for its release. I would say expect it in the early 3rdquarter of 2016. I know I originally said late 1stquarter... but it got a bit held up. I'm sorry.
Moving on to 2017 and beyond you can expect more books from me again. The second book in the BLP duology, The Fifth Empire of Man, should be coming from Ragnarok Publications and we'll have to see what happens with this little Sci-Fi thriller I've written. There is also a stand alone book set in First Earth in production which will follow the Black Thorn and his Rose and following that will be another full trilogy also set in First Earth. There may also be a few other projects on the cards... This may or may not be an indicator of what is to come... just saying.


So there's plenty coming. I'm very sorry it's taken a while, but I am not Brandon Sanderson, I am only human. Damnit, Sanderson. Leave some words for the rest of us. ;)

Rob J. Hayes is the author of the acclaimed  The Ties that Bind trilogy  and the upcoming Best Laid Plans duology. You can find out more on his  website here .

Is This Funny Or Is It Alcoholism?

Hahaha... ha... ha... um... Oh.
Haha! Tyrion Lannister said something witty and we all laughed... but, uh, it's not really funny. Is it? It's alcoholism. And that's not funny. I... I don't know if I should be laughing or... I feel bad now.

I mean. Fair play to good ol' Tyrion, he's been through some shit. He's seen some shit. He's done some SHIT!

They're all dead, Dave.
In fact, it's pretty obvious at this point that Tyrion can only really function day to day with a bellyful. This is beyond a litte characterisation. This is drinking problem.

I've gotta ask myself at this point. This quote we all laughed at. Was it not a cry for help?

I mean, shit! The guy says this, then gets a bit more drunk, then wonders down into a dark pit to bro out with some fire-breathing dragons. It's quite clear he at least half expects them to roast him alive and nibble on his charred remains. So, uh, is this funny? Or is this a character so far gone into his alcoholism that he's actively seeking out dangerous activities to end his own existence.

I don't actually remember the last time we saw Tyrion without a drink in his hand. Hells, the last time we saw him, he was actually trying to get people (folk who don't drink) to start drinking with him. He was actually looking for enablers. It was a painful scene. It was awkward and yet seemed a little less so because it was done with Tyrion's trademark wit and Dinklage's trademark charisma. But still... it was painful to watch and not because (like most of GoT) it was cringe-worthy, but because it was so real.

To me, this is the most interesting thing happening in GoT at the moment, far more than Dany's Cher impression.

Dany, rolling it back to season 1.
Far more than Ramsay's... whatever the fuck he's actually doing. I mean, we get it, dood, you're evil. Cool. I'm bored of you now 'cos, ya know, that's your whole thing. Seriously. Even Dr Evil had depth and his name was evil... and he was in a spoof.

Far more than Jon's Jesus impression... Oh yeah, spoiler. Jon Snow isn't dead. Shame on you if you didn't know that. It's not even a spoiler it's just... he was... It was so damned obvious.

Far more than Bran's Cher impression. Yeah, I'm not gonna put that picture up again. But, hey, way to ruin the Sword of the Morning, GoT! Not the point. I know.

Back to the point. It would be really interesting to me if they added some real world issues into a show that just tries to shock us with more and more outrageous shit that doesn't even seem outrageous anymore because we all expect it!

I just feel that it would be far more interesting at this point to explore Tyrion's descent into alcoholism rather than, you know, whatever the fuck is happening in this scene.

Rob J. Hayes is the author of the acclaimed  The Ties that Bind trilogy  and the upcoming Best Laid Plans duology. You can find out more on his  website here .

Book Review: King of Thorns by Mark Lawrence

Well that was a hell of a ride.


I read the second half of this book over the course of 2 days... which is quite rare for me given how slowly I read. That should tell you something about how much I enjoyed it.

So King of Thorns follows on fairly directly from Prince... and also not. Jorg feels a bit more human this time around, slightly fewer sharp edges and not quite as much of an arsehole... though he is still very much an arsehole.

The story is told across 3 different timelines. There's Jorg's wedding day (present), there's 4 years previously, and there's 4 years previously (the time that Jorg forgot). The story chops and changes from one to the other quite masterfully to both build tension, and introduce new plot devices. In many hands this method wouldn't work, but in Lawrence's it certainly does. It feels natural and it feels very well-planned and plotted.

Jorg gets some new powers and tricks. Makes some new friends. Loses some old friends. And faces off against some old and new enemies.

I'm gonna start with what I didn't like this time because... well there really isn't anything. It was a bit slow-paced near the start. Lawrence gave us time to acclimatize to the new Jorg and his new station, and also to the style in which the book is written. He introduces the new major players for this book. Then the pace kicks in and it pretty much doesn't stop all the way to the end.

We learn a smidgen more about the world and how it came to be in this book. I won't ruin it for any who don't yet know and I'm fairly certain I still don't know the full story. Suffice to say it's very interesting, it makes a certain kind of sense, and it leaves you wanting to know the full story... but doesn't tell you.

On to what I loved about the book and there's 1 thing I want to talk about and it's this. I loved how Lawrence subverted the hero of prophecy trope.

One of the new players we have is the Prince of Arrow. Here we have this all round decent human being, a man who most agree is destined to sit his arse upon the throne and unite the Broken Empire. He is light and good and stands for all things peaceful and shiny.

Then we have Jorg. He's a bit more human in this one, but he's still a foul-mouthed, fouler-minded thug with rivers of blood on his hands. He's still after the throne because a) he thinks he's entitled to it, and b) someone once told him he couldn't have it and it's in his nature to rebel. He is darkness and death and fire and blood.

By way of perspective, Jorg is the hero of this tale and the Prince of Arrow is the villain. This is why Kings of Thorns is so damned good.

I give King of Thorns a 4.5 our of 5, but as always I round up. Can't wait to start Emperor of Thorns and see how Lawrence is going to wrap up the trilogy.




Rob J. Hayes is the author of the acclaimed  The Ties that Bind trilogy  and the upcoming Best Laid Plans duology. You can find out more on his  website here .

Book Review: The Emperor's Blades by Brian Stavely

Absolutely LOVE this cover art.
Gotta say it. I loved this one. An excellent epic fantasy opener to a series. I have just picked up the 2nd book, The Providence of Fire, and I can't wait to get started.

First off I'd have to say I 'read' this via audiobook. The narrator, Simon Vance, did an excellent job. He has a good range of voices and none of them sounded like he was stretching too far. He made most of the main players sound different enough that it was immediately obvious who's point of view we were in.

So the tale starts just after the death of the Emperor. It follows his 3 children. Kaden as he trains to be a monk, learning how to zen. Adare as she tries to uncover the truth behind her father's murder. And Valyn as he struggles to complete his training to become... what is essentially an assassin-y soldiery... kind of thing.

Most of the story centers around Valyn and that's a good thing because his is by far the most interesting. His portion has the most action and excitement. Kaden's part of the tale is largely exposition, setting the scene for the larger conflict that is to come. Adare's portion is... disjointed at best. It almost feels as though it didn't really need to be there at all, but she's being set up to have a much larger part to come.

There in lies my biggest criticism of the book as a whole. It feels very much like setting up a much grander story. The stakes for the finale were high, but the book did a good job of pointing out that they were soon going to be much higher.

Other criticism are the occasional bloating. At times it felt like chapters were bloated and could have been much shorter. It dragged the narrative down in places. I also feel that there were some large plot holes, but I'll talk about them later because of spoilers.

What I loved most about the book was the world building. The characters, especially Valyn and his Kettral, were very detailed and individual. Some of the interactions with bit players were a joy, and Valyn's side of the story was both riveting and gut-wrenching in places. Well-paced and well told.

The world building was fantastic. It's clear that Staveley has a good idea of the world he's created and how everyone and everything fits into it, both in the past and the present. He has an interesting depiction of magic, with defined boundaries and mysterious capabilities. He has created an interesting bestiary of creatures to populate the world. I don't usually say this, but I'd have liked a map to see where everything is located in relation to everything else. There might be a map in the book version, but they don't tend to come across too well in audio format.

Overall I give The Emperor's Blades about a 4 out of 5. A thoroughly enjoyable start to a fantasy epic and I can't wait to start the second book.
I'll be starting book 2 very soon.
OK. 

SPOILERS. If you haven't read the book and intend to, stop looking. SPOILERS

I had 2 major problems with plot points and... I might be nitpicking. I probably am. But here goes.

The revelation at the end of Adare's final chapter that the Ketterang (not sure of spelling because of audiobook) was the one who killed her father makes her entire storyline in this book pretty much moot. She has very little to do in the book anyway and in the end it feels like there was no point to her doing any of it anyway. It almost feels as though her point in Emperor's Blades is to end up in the Ketterang's bed. It turned her one and only victory into a defeat. It just seemed off.

My other problem (and I'm certain this is nitpicking) is that Valyn's nemesis, Jarl (again not sure of spelling) should not have known that the big bad is a... Xestrine (seriously, spelling fantasy names after listening to audiobooks is impossible). 

The guy is a self-entitled, arrogant, pompous fopp with no part to play in the grander scheme of things. He points out during his brief interrogation that nobody knows the entire plot... well I'm pretty sure Jarl wouldn't know anything. He cracked under the barest hint of torture. There's no way the big bad would allow Jarl to know that he's some ancient creature everyone thinks has been dead for millenia.

If the bad guys plot to kill Kaden went ahead, there would be no need for Jarl or his wing to be there at all. So why did they fly there? IF they were part of the plot in order to kill Valyn... well they probably should have done a better job of it. Honestly, I keep rolling it around in my head and it just makes no sense that Jarl was part of the grander plot at all and even less sense that he'd know anything about the big bad.

Anyways. It's nitpicking. But it's a nit that is gnawing at me.


Rob J. Hayes is the author of the acclaimed  The Ties that Bind trilogy  and the upcoming Best Laid Plans duology. You can find out more on his  website here .