Crystal Collier's Blog, page 33
April 24, 2013
How to Find Happiness A-Z: U
In the car today, a strange thought hit me: no one can 100% identify with another person's childhood experiences. No matter how similar our lives may be, you have not walked in my shoes, and I have not walked in yours. That makes you...
...completely UNIQUE!
Understanding how unique you are should instill a sense of how incredibly special you are--and I'm not talking in a derogatory way here. What makes you you is completely impossible to duplicate. Do you know how amazing that makes you?
No, seriously. I want you to think about it. You have a unique finger print. No one in the entirety of existence has the same skin pattern. It's not something you have to strive for. You just are. --But you're so much more complicated than a fingerprint. Think of all the life experiences you've had, the successes, the failures, the losses, the growth...
Picture courtesy of Juliancolton2It's the parable of the snowflake. No two are alike. As they tumble through the air aimed for the ground, unique winds, temperatures and humidity help to shape them, but they might also latch onto a fellow floater for a time. They might break away from a larger grouping. They might reach out to feel the fullness of the world around them, or huddle in close and pummel faster. Some crack or lose pieces on way down, but they are no less fascinating. Each break tells a story, and each snowflake is beautiful.
You don't have any reason to bow down to others. What's shaped you is different than what's shaped them--different, not better or worse. Someone else being subjected to your life experiences might completely crumble. Just like the character in a story, you are a product not just of your circumstances, but of the decisions you've made along the way, and no one else would have made exactly the same choices.
How awesome are you?
...completely UNIQUE!
Understanding how unique you are should instill a sense of how incredibly special you are--and I'm not talking in a derogatory way here. What makes you you is completely impossible to duplicate. Do you know how amazing that makes you?
No, seriously. I want you to think about it. You have a unique finger print. No one in the entirety of existence has the same skin pattern. It's not something you have to strive for. You just are. --But you're so much more complicated than a fingerprint. Think of all the life experiences you've had, the successes, the failures, the losses, the growth...
Picture courtesy of Juliancolton2It's the parable of the snowflake. No two are alike. As they tumble through the air aimed for the ground, unique winds, temperatures and humidity help to shape them, but they might also latch onto a fellow floater for a time. They might break away from a larger grouping. They might reach out to feel the fullness of the world around them, or huddle in close and pummel faster. Some crack or lose pieces on way down, but they are no less fascinating. Each break tells a story, and each snowflake is beautiful. You don't have any reason to bow down to others. What's shaped you is different than what's shaped them--different, not better or worse. Someone else being subjected to your life experiences might completely crumble. Just like the character in a story, you are a product not just of your circumstances, but of the decisions you've made along the way, and no one else would have made exactly the same choices.
How awesome are you?
April 23, 2013
How to Find Happiness A-Z: T
We've all played it, right?
You know that feeling of free fall, as your gut clenches, your insides quiver, and your nerves scream, "What are you doing, you idiot!?"
Trust.
Who would you trust to catch you? Your best friend? Your neighbor? A parent? A spouse?
These are the people in your inner circle. But would you trust a stranger to catch you?
Some of us have a relationship with deity. Some of us trust in a higher power, because as much as our friends, neighbors and even family love us, they are imperfect and will inevitably fail or be unable to catch us at some point. There's only one source of constancy, and true happiness comes knowing there's someone out there who loves and watches over us--someone who's ready to help--often even before we're humble enough to ask for it. I suppose the point is, in order to be rescued, we must have a relationship of trust with that source of power and love. We have to believe we will be caught, and accordingly, be willing to fall.
Picture courtesy of AliMy husband and I have done some pretty crazy things in this life: parted ways for 2 years while madly in love (for a service mission), started a family young (yes, intentionally *gasp*), decided to home school (*pointing* I see those bobbing heads!), wrote a musical... But by far, the craziest thing we've ever done was move to New York City.
In part, it was because of the musical. In part, it was what we felt we needed to do. So, seven months pregnant with #3, we packed up a car and my hubby drove cross country while I searched online job listings. Insane? Yup.
After staying with his grandparents in New Jersey for two weeks (the exact amount of time allowed by their housing community), my husband miraculously found a job in NYC. It was in an industry he'd been inspired to study for the last 3 years, despite the unfavorable circumstances around his studies. Not only that, the expected job searching window was a minimum of 3 months in the city, and the number of openings for that specialty? They were very limited. --And really, after having lived there, I'm in awe at how the timetable played out. By all logic, it shouldn't have. He had only one day to go house searching before starting his new job, and again, a search that typically takes weeks, came together in a single day. His brother decided at the same time he was going to return to school at Columbia University, and we were suddenly able to share a moving truck. We ended up having the exact amount of money needed to move, while our funds should not have been sufficient.
Coincidence? Perhaps. But I've only told you half the story. There's no doubt in my mind a greater force was out there, paving our path and making the impossible possible. I trust that power, because of the experiences I've had, because it's the ultimate source of peace, because I'd be lost without it.
Who do you trust?
You know that feeling of free fall, as your gut clenches, your insides quiver, and your nerves scream, "What are you doing, you idiot!?"
Trust.
Who would you trust to catch you? Your best friend? Your neighbor? A parent? A spouse?
These are the people in your inner circle. But would you trust a stranger to catch you?
Some of us have a relationship with deity. Some of us trust in a higher power, because as much as our friends, neighbors and even family love us, they are imperfect and will inevitably fail or be unable to catch us at some point. There's only one source of constancy, and true happiness comes knowing there's someone out there who loves and watches over us--someone who's ready to help--often even before we're humble enough to ask for it. I suppose the point is, in order to be rescued, we must have a relationship of trust with that source of power and love. We have to believe we will be caught, and accordingly, be willing to fall.
Picture courtesy of AliMy husband and I have done some pretty crazy things in this life: parted ways for 2 years while madly in love (for a service mission), started a family young (yes, intentionally *gasp*), decided to home school (*pointing* I see those bobbing heads!), wrote a musical... But by far, the craziest thing we've ever done was move to New York City.In part, it was because of the musical. In part, it was what we felt we needed to do. So, seven months pregnant with #3, we packed up a car and my hubby drove cross country while I searched online job listings. Insane? Yup.
After staying with his grandparents in New Jersey for two weeks (the exact amount of time allowed by their housing community), my husband miraculously found a job in NYC. It was in an industry he'd been inspired to study for the last 3 years, despite the unfavorable circumstances around his studies. Not only that, the expected job searching window was a minimum of 3 months in the city, and the number of openings for that specialty? They were very limited. --And really, after having lived there, I'm in awe at how the timetable played out. By all logic, it shouldn't have. He had only one day to go house searching before starting his new job, and again, a search that typically takes weeks, came together in a single day. His brother decided at the same time he was going to return to school at Columbia University, and we were suddenly able to share a moving truck. We ended up having the exact amount of money needed to move, while our funds should not have been sufficient.
Coincidence? Perhaps. But I've only told you half the story. There's no doubt in my mind a greater force was out there, paving our path and making the impossible possible. I trust that power, because of the experiences I've had, because it's the ultimate source of peace, because I'd be lost without it.
Who do you trust?
April 22, 2013
How to Find Happiness A-Z: S
(Previously published as a guest post, but so darn awesome I had to share it again...)
What do you think of when you hear the word, “cheese”? Yummy milk products? Picture taking? General silliness?
For me, cheese = smile = happiness.
We moved to NYC when my daughter was only a year old. She had absolutely no fear of people. She’d walk up to any stranger in the subway and take their hand—while I suffered heart palpitations. Even though it put me on edge, I had to appreciate that my child faced the world with such boldness, that she saw goodness in everyone. She had such a sincere love for people that she couldn’t help but spread it.
And the miracle? People responded. Hardened New Yorkers softened when she looked at them with those big eyes and that sweet smile. They constantly commented on how adorable she was, and everywhere we went, a trail of smiles followed.
Image courtesy of Nemo via PixabayIt is a scientific truth that smiles pass from person to person, just like yawns. They’re contagious. In one experiment I watched, a well-timed smile even prompted the recipients to stop and help someone who’d dropped some books. Can you imagine that? A smile inciting the inherent goodness in people?According to Gary L. Wenk, a Ph.D. and Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience, a smile (fake or real), pulls on the thin bones in the face and causes increased blood flow through the frontal lobes of the brain. When that happens, the body releases an increase of dopamine—which is a naturally occurring “happy drug.”
Believe it or not, you are dosing yourself with happiness every time you smile—and inspiring others to do the same. Maybe that’s the real secret behind children being so much happier than adults. They smile more.
Seems like my daughter had life all figured out at the age of one. Guess I should try to be more like her, eh? Would you like to try the experiment with me? Let’s see if we can’t make the world a better place, one “cheese” at a time.
What do you think of when you hear the word, “cheese”? Yummy milk products? Picture taking? General silliness?
For me, cheese = smile = happiness.
We moved to NYC when my daughter was only a year old. She had absolutely no fear of people. She’d walk up to any stranger in the subway and take their hand—while I suffered heart palpitations. Even though it put me on edge, I had to appreciate that my child faced the world with such boldness, that she saw goodness in everyone. She had such a sincere love for people that she couldn’t help but spread it.
And the miracle? People responded. Hardened New Yorkers softened when she looked at them with those big eyes and that sweet smile. They constantly commented on how adorable she was, and everywhere we went, a trail of smiles followed.
Image courtesy of Nemo via PixabayIt is a scientific truth that smiles pass from person to person, just like yawns. They’re contagious. In one experiment I watched, a well-timed smile even prompted the recipients to stop and help someone who’d dropped some books. Can you imagine that? A smile inciting the inherent goodness in people?According to Gary L. Wenk, a Ph.D. and Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience, a smile (fake or real), pulls on the thin bones in the face and causes increased blood flow through the frontal lobes of the brain. When that happens, the body releases an increase of dopamine—which is a naturally occurring “happy drug.”Believe it or not, you are dosing yourself with happiness every time you smile—and inspiring others to do the same. Maybe that’s the real secret behind children being so much happier than adults. They smile more.
Seems like my daughter had life all figured out at the age of one. Guess I should try to be more like her, eh? Would you like to try the experiment with me? Let’s see if we can’t make the world a better place, one “cheese” at a time.
April 20, 2013
How to Find Happiness A-Z: R
Do you ever feel like some of the values you grew up with are slipping away? Society has a short memory, but I recall a day when the way you acted in public was determined by...
Respect!
I grew up addressing adults as Mr, Mrs, Ms, etc. It planted a proper understanding in me about the wisdom of those who'd lived much longer than myself. To this day I value the words of those who've spent decades longer than me in this life, and it cuts me to the core when others deride or look down on their elders.
I work with and teach a large group of kids from ages 18 months to 12 years old, and all of them come from very good, very caring homes. Still, I'm bewildered by their attitude toward adults. The formality and concept of honoring your elders doesn't seem to be part of their psyche. Brr? What does that say for these kids? Apparently they haven't been taught a very important principle.
And on a deeper level, if they don't respect others, can we hope they'll respect themselves? --To stay away from peer pressure, to trust in their own values, to establish who they are instead of folding to the winds of society? And how can we expect them, or ourselves to find happiness if the world buckles to whatever the media says we should be or think?
You knew this one was coming. ;)
Okay, rant over. Who's up for some cheese?
Respect!
I grew up addressing adults as Mr, Mrs, Ms, etc. It planted a proper understanding in me about the wisdom of those who'd lived much longer than myself. To this day I value the words of those who've spent decades longer than me in this life, and it cuts me to the core when others deride or look down on their elders.
I work with and teach a large group of kids from ages 18 months to 12 years old, and all of them come from very good, very caring homes. Still, I'm bewildered by their attitude toward adults. The formality and concept of honoring your elders doesn't seem to be part of their psyche. Brr? What does that say for these kids? Apparently they haven't been taught a very important principle.
And on a deeper level, if they don't respect others, can we hope they'll respect themselves? --To stay away from peer pressure, to trust in their own values, to establish who they are instead of folding to the winds of society? And how can we expect them, or ourselves to find happiness if the world buckles to whatever the media says we should be or think?
You knew this one was coming. ;)
Okay, rant over. Who's up for some cheese?
April 19, 2013
How to Find Happiness A-Z: Q
Picture courtesy of freedigitalphotos.netWhat time of the day do you most look forward to?I love that hour before the kids wake, when I can think without interruption. I love bedtime, when I get to sit with each "little" and sing them a lullaby. I love the evening, vegging with my hubby and watching a show or chatting about our day. Those are the moments I most look forward to.
Quality time.
We've talked about how happiness stems from the relationships we develop--those with ourselves, families and friends. I've heard it said that love is actually spelled T-I-M-E. Think about it. What do you spend your hours doing--when you have no other obligations? What do you really love? And does it bring you happiness?
