Eileen Maksym's Blog, page 10
February 14, 2017
These Roses Smell AWESOME
[image error]
Want to get your beloved a bouquet for Valentine’s Day, but roses are just so pedestrian? You can give them a bacon bouquet! Sure, you’ll have to drop between $109 and $360, but dude. IT’S BACON. You can find them here. (NOTE: I’m not being paid to post this. Just sharing the bacon!)
February 13, 2017
Giving Form to the Unthinkable
[image error]
Almost everyone knows who Cthulhu is and what he looks like (hell, he’s so well known that my spellcheck underlined his name and insisted I capitalize it). The tentacle-faced bat-winged giant monstrosity from the deep can be found in card games, on t-shirts, in uber-cute chibi plush form, and even on bumper stickers (Cthulhu for President 2016: Why Choose the Lesser of Two Evils? If only…). However, H.P. Lovecraft, the master of the weird and sanity-destroying, created a twisted universe full of nightmare creatures that will drive you to gibbering madness with just one glance. Like Azathoth up there. (My spellcheck is insisting there’s no such word. Oh sweet innocent spellcheck…) CoffeeForKafka on Imgur seems to be seeking to bring to light all of the lesser-known but just as mind-bendingly horrific creatures of Lovecraft’s Mythos. Whether you thank him or curse his name is up to you.
February 11, 2017
The Scariest Thing On TV
[image error]
When you think of haunted televisions, you might think of Carrie Ann being dragged into the static in Poltergeist, or the creepy girl from The Ring clawing her way out of one. However, as outlined in this fantastic article on Mysterious Universe, there are actually a number of reported cases of actual TVs being haunted by actual spirits. Perhaps such stories are the result of fear of technology, an uneasy relationship with an object that can sometimes seem like an enemy, sucking our time or turning our loved ones into brain-dead pod-people. Or maybe there is actually something supernatural going on. There are a number of theories that the dead can manipulate electromagnetic fields, which is the idea behind EVP (electronic voice perception), where the voice of spirits show up on audio recordings. Is it possible for a spirit to similarly manipulate what appears in the static of a TV not tuned to any specific channel? Or can TVs be haunted in the same way as other objects, such as dolls or cars or houses? I know I’m going to be a little uneasy around my TV for a while…
February 10, 2017
Love Karaoke!
Happy Friday, everyone! Here’s an awesome dance song you might not be familiar with, which is a shame because it is awesome. This is Love Karaoke by Blaire Reinhard. I love the lyrics, particularly the idea of going to a club to pick up a guy can be like karaoke…you’re playing a role, singing a song that’s not yours. Meaning aside, though, it’s got one hell of a hook. Enjoy!
February 9, 2017
Snow Day!
[image error]
It’s really coming down out there! If you must leave your house, watch out for werewolves! (And if you like this image, check out more at Art of Mr. Werewolf.)
February 8, 2017
It’s Raining What?!?
[image error]
In English, when it’s really pouring we say it’s “raining cats and dogs.” But like most figures of speech, other languages have their own expressions, and there are a ton of them on the “Raining Animals” Wikipedia page. Here are a few of my favorites:
Afrikaans: ou vrouens met knopkieries reën (“old women with clubs”)
Cantonese: “落狗屎” (“dog poo”)
Catalan: Ploure a bots i barrals (“boats and barrels”)
Croatian: padaju sjekire (“axes dropping”)
Czech: padají trakaře (“wheelbarrows”)
Danish: det regner skomagerdrenge (“shoemakers’ apprentices”)
Dutch (Flemish): het regent oude wijven (“old women”)
French: il pleut comme vache qui pisse (“it is raining like a peeing cow”)
French: il pleut des hallebardes (“it is raining halberds”), clous (“nails”), or cordes (“ropes”)
German: Es regnet junge Hunde (“young dogs”) or Es schüttet wie aus Eimern (“like poured from buckets”)
Greek: βρέχει καρεκλοπόδαρα (“chair legs”)
Hindi: मुसलधार बारिश (musaldhār bārish) (“a stream of mallets”)
Portuguese (Brazil): chovem cobras e lagartos (“snakes and lizards”)
Spanish: llueven sapos y culebras (“toads and snakes”)
Spanish (Argentina): caen soretes de punta (“pieces of dung head-first”)
Spanish (Colombia): estan lloviendo maridos (“it’s raining husbands”)
Swedish: Det regnar smådjävlar (“It is raining little devils”)
Welsh: mae hi’n bwrw hen wragedd a ffyn (“old ladies and sticks”)
February 7, 2017
Identity or Whereabouts Unknown
[TW: suicide]
We live in a well-monitored (sometimes too well-monitored) world. Surveillance cameras, GPS trackers, credit card records…it’s hard not to leave a trail a mile wide as we move through our lives. This is often problematic, especially when the government uses these trails to monitor innocent people. But there are also benefits, including authorities being able to track down guilty people. However, sometimes people become unmoored in our world, and not even our technology can reel them back in. People vanish without a trace, or are found but prove impossible to identify.
[image error]
This is Asha Kreimer, an Australian woman who was living in California with her boyfriend at the time of her disappearance. On September 21st of 2015 she was at a restaurant eating breakfast with her boyfriend and a childhood friend. It had been a harrowing past couple days for her, due to a mental breakdown. She hadn’t slept in five days, and had just been released from a psychiatric evaluation that turned so violent the police had to be called. (It is unclear why it is that they released her at all.) At some point during breakfast, she excused herself to go to the restroom. Her friend followed a few minutes later, but couldn’t find Asha. No one can remember seeing her leave the restaurant, but she was nowhere to be found. She left her identification, credit cards, phone and money behind, but, according to police, went to her home to retrieve her German shepherd. There has been no trace of her since. Her family has been searching for her with little success. (If you’d like to help out, her family has a Go Fund Me page to finance the search.)
[image error]
On the other end of the spectrum we have Lyle Stevik. Unfortunately, that’s not his real name, but rather the alias he used to check into a motel in Amanda Park, Washington on September 16th, 2001. It’s possible that the name was a reference to Joyce Carol Oates’s book You Must Remember This, in which a character named Lyle Stevick attempts suicide. Perhaps he was hoping that someone knew the book and would recognize the use of the name as a warning sign. No one did, however, and the man was found dead in his motel room the next day, having hanged himself in the closet. Since he was found so soon after death, his face was recognizable and his fingerprints were easy to obtain, and both, along with his dental record, were entered into national databases. You would think that someone would recognize him, and yet 15 years later he’s still unidentified. Theories abound, however, including speculation that he could have been involved somehow in the events of 9/11 just five days prior. (For more details about this case, including crime scene photographs, go here.)
These sorts of cases fascinate me, and I may write more about them in the future. If you’re interested in cases like this, check out the Doe Network. There are hundreds of missing and unidentified persons who just need the right person to come along and recognize them to give them and their families some peace.
February 6, 2017
All in the Title
[image error]
I often have trouble with titles. When I’m finishing a story, I’ll go through several titles, and the one that eventually sticks usually does so because I can’t think of anything better. I don’t know if Tomislav Jagnjic (the artist of the above piece) has trouble coming up with titles, but he sure has a knack for them. For instance, this piece is called “yo bro is it safe down there in the woods? yeah man, it’s cool.” The perfect title puts a spin on a piece that might not have otherwise been apparent, and in that Jagnijic wins. Go check out his other works, some of which are equally well titled, all of which are really nicely done and well worth your time.
February 5, 2017
Multiplying Like Rabbits
Cyriak is an animation artist that specializes in bizarre fractal-inspired body horror. His videos are weird and surreal, and it’s impossible to look away. This video is his attempt to visualize 7 Billion human beings, using rabbits as stand-ins. When people say “multiplying like rabbits,” I don’t think this is quite what they mean.
February 4, 2017
Smells Like Sadness
[image error]
I’ve never really understood scented candles. I mean, there have got to be tons of people who love them…there are entire stores that sell nothing but scented candles, never mind shelves and shelves in Cracker Barrels and Hallmark stores. But all those cleverly named scents seem to only fall into a couple of broad categories, with really very little differentiation, like wax Froot Loops.
Some time ago, I heard about Homesick Candles, a company that creates and sells candles for every state. Now, I grew up in Southwest Florida. The homesick candle for my home state is described as “a hint of orange, a touch of sea mist, and a bit of driftwood.” Now, Florida is a big state, so I can’t speak to the experiences of other Floridians. But to me, the scent that tells me I’m “home” is swamp. That heavy, salty smell of standing water and decomposing detritus, with hints of sulfur and ozone. How do you get that in a candle?
The folks at Flicking Candles might be up to the job. The name of the company is due to the fact that if you’re not careful with your font choice, the L and I in the word FLICKING can look like one letter. Their candles are equally irreverent. In their catalog you can find such interesting scents as Dentist Office Waiting Room (“boring magazines and tile floors that will instantly remind you of all the times you should have flossed”), Freshly Signed Divorce Papers (“the rich parchment of a legal document declaring an end to your failed marriage”) and College Rejection Letter (“the same crisp smell of a freshly folded letter from the college of your choice, proudly declaring that you should look elsewhere for your education”). Many of the candles, like the Unfriend candle, don’t have specific scent descriptions. So what does “Unfriend” smell like? What do you put into a candle so that anybody will lift that rounded glass lid, breathe in deep, and say, “Ah, yes, now that’s the smell of Facebook rejection!” Maybe electronics with a hint of sharp peppermint and copper? Or maybe it smells like nothing at all, which is what your relationship with the unfriend-ee has become?
