Ann Benjamin's Blog, page 266

30 Day Art Challenge, Day 2: Favorite TV Show

Not sure the ‘art’ implication of this question, but after some deliberation (Scrubs, Friends, HIMYM, Parks and Rec) I decided 30 Rock was my all time favorite.  Mostly because I am Liz Lemon.  No, seriously.

30 Day Art Challenge.

Not sure if it’s the post-vacation blues or the Saturday blues (for those of us who start the work week on Sunday), but I’m feeling very out of sorts today (this may or may not have to do with the fact my ears are STILL blocked from our recent trip and my attempt at diving in the Seychelles).  Being without a project and seeing a lot of interruptions (aka real life) in the next 3 months, I think another blog challenge will provide me with some stability (don’t ask, but it works).

Anyway…  Even though I’m not a traditional artist (i.e. my medium would be mainly words and not the visual variety), I like enough of the things offered in this challenge to go ahead.  (And P.S. If you’re looking for a similar foodie challenge, I created one for my other blog, A to Zaatar).

Right then, today’s question is something I couldn’t live without.  I’ll bypass Hubs and Nubs (because I feel like they are a given) and go to the very device upon which I’m writing.  While I’m shortly going to be in the market for Apple’s desktop version, the iMac, this Macbook has seen the publication of two books and the rough drafts of at least four.  So much of my life happens in front of this screen, I would be truly lost without it.  Read into that what you want.

Tone Analyzer.

While I realize this service would most likely be better utilized for work e-mails and I can think of a former colleague I would most definitely like to send it to, I wanted to give it a try (using my last post as an example).

What does yours say?

 

A potential hiatus…

Not from this blog, but from novel writing.  Here’s the thing, I’ve been working on a manuscript – consistently – since 2005.  Yes, now that I think about it, it’s been 10 years of projects, editing, rough drafts, publishing and everything in between.  Even though my output has been slowing down (thanks a lot, work), I’m in no way ‘worn out’ or hitting writer’s block.  This hiatus isn’t an excuse of any kind.  Instead, as I look ahead to what next year will bring, I wonder if it is best to give certain parts of my mind a ‘break.’  Yes, writing is a muscle that is used best on a daily basis, but I want to start my work hiatus on the best possible foot.  Sure, that could mean having a book immediately ready to publish, or it could mean that I’m rested and ready to flex my creative muscles.

The thought of trying to make serious progress on a book that I can only dedicate time (and limited energy) to on the weekends doesn’t seem to me as if it will be a best seller of any kind.  Both Queen 1 and 2 need TLC if they are going to survive the busy YA market.  And to do that, I need to give both projects my undivided attention.

Of course, it’s not as if I could shut down all of my projects.  Instead, I would take the 4 hours or so a week I’ve been trying to grind out 1,000 words and put it towards building my new blog, marketing my new book, running my Tumblr, enhancing my social media footprint, working on a pilot and y’know physical activity and keeping healthy and stuff.

So then, a question to anyone who this might apply to, have you ever been ‘on a break’ from a long term hobby or project?  What advice would you have?  Was it worth it?  I’m only slightly worried that I’ll have difficulty getting back into my books, but I think in this scenario that the good will overcome any bad.  All suggestions are welcome!

You tell em’ Ross!

In which I totally fail…and that’s okay.

So, Hubs and I are in the Seychelles.  We are here to celebrate his birthday (today!) and had every intention of becoming open water PADI certified (together).  I passed the physical test (swimming out 100m, treading water for 10 minutes and then swimming back) and spent a morning reading all about scuba safety on the beach, but yesterday for our pool session, I failed.  The only thing I managed to do right was breathe from the regulator.  I couldn’t put the equipment together correctly.  I didn’t get in the pool correctly.  My weight belt was wrong.  I couldn’t flush water from my mask.  For every moment I was underwater, I couldn’t wait to get back to the surface.  Somehow, I managed to get through (and tried to limit launching myself to the surface on a limited number of occasions).  I don’t blame (at all) the instructor who was nothing but patient and professional.

Me, trying to keep a straight face during class.

After we were all packed up, guys, I did something I haven’t done in a very long time.  I straight up cried.

I cried because I was frustrated – at myself, at how disappointed I was.

To add insult to injury, my ears are hella clogged and painful.

Anyway, I’m listening to my body.  For the time being, I’m not meant to be a scuba diver.  It sucks, but it’s the truth.  I’m not meant to be awesome at everything.  And humans weren’t meant to breathe underwater.

Fortunately, the view makes up for my suckiness.

Have you tried and failed spectacularly?

Not quite there.

So, I had laid out some goals for myself (earlier post made on August 7th for completion by my Eid trip, starting September 20th) and I only met one of them, which, I think is pretty telling about how I spend my free time.

Get at least 5 reviews on Life After Joe (so I can kick up other parts of marketing the book).

I got to 4.  So close…  And there’s still time for you to write something nice.

Continue my Couch to 5K training.

Umm…  Well, I did exercise.  I didn’t lose as much weight as I wanted, nor did I run a 5K, but I was laid up for a solid five days with a rare cold (seriously, I don’t take sick days).  I would give myself a B- for effort.  More often than not, I got up early to do something, but I definitely could have pushed myself further.

Explore employment opportunities in Dubai for 2016.

I started a new blog, does that count?  No, it doesn’t.

Hit 15-20K words on Queen 2.

Yes!  Finally, something was achieved.  I made it to 16K+ and am now trying to figure out whether I should continue on or move towards editing Queen 1.  I’m excited with some of the scenes I wrote and where the manuscript will go.

Finish a rough draft of the pilot.

Not even close.  I could blame a few things – but I didn’t make it.  I’m hoping to officially download a copy of Final Draft and really kick things into gear with this project, but the realist in me is saying something different.

No real reason for this .gif, it just makes me feel better.

So, am I beating myself up over my 20% rate of completion?  No, the list was ambitious.  I can see myself making progress on each of these things by the end of the year, and that is enough for me.

 

Sunday Sentence.

As always, she knows her own mind perfectly—she knows exactly what she believes.”

– Vivian Apple at the End of the World by Katie Coyle

One for my Smalls.

I saw this .gif which I need to credit this morning and it reminded me so much of my Brendan (RIP).  He was such a scaredy cat.  I hope he’s doing well in kitty heaven.

What do you do?

In the never ending struggle of ‘should I stay or should I go?’ I’ve been going back and forth on the topic of quitting my job and writing full time.  As someone who has been in the workforce since I was 15, I’ve long associated a large part of my ‘self’ with my job (where I am more often than not referred to as ‘the machine’).  Of course, even as employees, all of us amount to more than an unhappy Academic HR Partner.  I’m a blogger, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a writer, a traveler, a friend, etc.  When thinking of leaving the real world to pursue something that has always been a passion, I wonder if I am being completely selfish silly ridiculous.

Because if I don’t work, what am I?  When meeting new people, the reality of my situation next year is introducing myself as a Stay at Home Wife.  Sure, I write, but being an author thus far doesn’t allow me contribute to my household in any active financial way (which, thus far, has been and most likely will continue to be, the biggest hurdle for me to get over).  Hubs and I have already talked about what I will be responsible for – and yes, while publishing two books next year is part of my personal goals, there will be some real things I do (I am planning on a post on that topic for later).

Having published eight (!) books and nowhere close to being able to support myself through these endeavors, is choosing to leave my employer the single biggest mistake I could make?  I’m not going to believe for a hot second that by not working I will suddenly be an amazing writer and all my problems as an author will be solved.  Yes, I will have more time – time to write every day, time to really plan and hone my skills, but also to be realistic.  The thing about being self published is that it is a hobby that requires money.  For editors and cover artists.  For ads and any number of other of things.  There is a very real possibility I could publish two more books (or four, or however many) and be in an identical situation to where I am now – that is, where it costs more to publish than what I bring in.

So, why then, does the universe keep sending me ideas?  Just this year, I’ve come up with two additional novels – just waiting to be written.  With an exhausting full time job and less time than ever to write, when exactly am I supposed to get to get to all of these plans?  And what if my Muse stops sending me ideas?  Honestly, if I ignore and make excuses and not write these books, will the ideas keep coming?

And still, I go back to what prompted me to self-publish in the first place.  Rather morbidly, I thought if something terrible happened to me, what would be my biggest regret?  Right now, it would have nothing to do with contracts I didn’t send out and everything to do with a certain book I finished in 2011 which I really want to see be successful.  It is the thought of getting out of bed every day and working for myself (even if the pay is crappy) and being genuinely excited to tackle the day’s problems, and less about crossing things off a list.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at.

Advice/suggestions/positive thoughts welcome.

TL;DR: First world whining about purpose, passion and choices that many people are not lucky enough to make.

Dreaming up characters…

Found this on the Tumblrs and I really liked the whole comic and am having extreme issues trying to link back to.  Credit for this drawing and the whole comic to The Blonde Hurricane.