Kelly Jensen's Blog, page 8

Over on Book Riot

Now that I’m nearing the end of maternity leave — I get back to regular Book Riot business after the holiday — and since writing has been such a daunting task these last few months, I didn’t share what I’d written and scheduled ahead of time from BR. Here’s a giant roundup of those pieces!

 

Pressed flower bookmarks.

 

Great diverse historical YA fiction.

 

Bling your fingers with bookish rings.

 

A nerdy history of the ampersand.

 

Show your love of the bookstore with these fun bookstore pins.

 

Fun librarian shirts and sweatshirts.

 

Accessible yoga poses for reading.

 

The giant roundup of Spring 2021 YA books.

 

Gifts for readers who love space.

 

13 moving poems by YA authors.

 

20 more YA verse novels to TBR.

 

Bookish gifts for horror lovers.

 

A guide to the best children’s books by age.

 

Shake it up with Shakespeare stickers.

 

On the lack of disability representation on diverse book covers.

 

Awesome resin bookmarks.

 

YA book cover design makeovers: who wore it better?

 

A look at nostalgic teen magazines.

 

Great finds for fans of Goosebumps.

 

A look at what popular self-help books do — and don’t — tell us about our contemporary moment.

 

Bookish goods for plant lovers.

 

An A-Z guide to poetic terminology.

 

Some of the best nonfiction YA comics.

 

Literary gifts for mystery lovers.

 

5 YA novels turned into comics.

 

Some of the best YA comics to put on your TBR.

 

Last, but not least, another round of Literary Jeopardy.

 

[contact-form]

The Book of Dust: La Belle Sauvage by Philip Pullman

His Dark Materials is my favorite book series, and I’d been eagerly anticipating the release of The Book of Dust for at least a decade, from its first inception a set of short stories and anecdotes about the world of HDM to its current incarnation as full-length novels. I was thrilled when Pullman made it a trilogy, the first of which, La Belle Sauvage, is set when Lyra is a baby. I really enjoyed the first half of the book, which involves the son of an innkeeper named Malcolm Polstead, around age 11, who gets caught up in the efforts to protect baby Lyra from those who wish her harm. At this point, Lyra is being kept in a priory by a group of nuns, and she hasn’t made it to Jordan College yet. Malcolm occasionally helps to watch her while also becoming acquainted and eventually studying with Hannah Relf (Dame Hannah from the original), who is part of a secret society that is covertly working against the Magisterium.

It’s very cool to see Hannah as a fully-fledged character here, ten years before Lyra meets her and eventually comes under her tutelage. She’s smart and interesting and fills the role that Mary Malone filled in the first trilogy. Other characters from the first books, like Coram van Texel (Farder Coram), make an appearance in this prequel as well. And the first half of the book is really interesting, told from the familiar perspective of a boy on the cusp of puberty getting involved in things way over his head. Then a huge flood hits Oxford, and the entire city is underwater for several days. Malcolm, along with his friend Alice, must rescue Lyra from the priory and keep her safe from all the people who want her for their own ends, eventually (they hope) getting her into the care of her father, Lord Asriel.

This second part of the book, which follows Malcolm and Alice and Lyra in Malcolm’s boat, La Belle Sauvage, is so markedly different from the first half that it almost feels like a different book entirely, and not in a good way. They encounter all sorts of magical creatures that feel out of place in Pullman’s previously well-regulated fantasy world, as if he threw all his carefully constructed rules out the window and just decided to throw everything he could think of back in, making it a mish mash of fantasy tropes that don’t seem to have a point. There are fairies, a city of people who may or may not be dead but are certainly ensorcelled in some way, a monster-type creature that feels like a sort of Old God, and a main villain who just can’t seem to stay dead, popping up unbelievably at various points on the children’s journey to twirl his moustache evilly and (spoiler alert) rape children.

This last part is what really threw me off the story for good. The original trilogy was blessedly free of sexual violence, but the threat of sexual violence pervades this entire book, finally culminating in Malcolm witnessing it happening in person. I don’t really get the point of it. The villain is interesting in some ways – his evilness causes a kind of schism between himself and his daemon, a really fascinating idea that isn’t explored well enough – but ultimately he’s there just to hunt baby Lyra and, I suppose, show that bad people do bad things? I’m not really sure. It left a bad taste in my mouth, and I finished the book feeling like I had read some bad fanfiction instead of a loving addition to a set of stories I cherish.

 

June 2021 Debut YA Novels

Between a rough last month of pregnancy and adjusting to life with a baby, keeping on top of debuts for the last few months fell to the wayside. But let’s catch up on those first-time novels by first-time authors with a look at the busy month of June.

 

 

This round-up includes debut novels, where “debut” is in its purest definition. These are first-time books by first-time authors. I’m not including books by authors who are using or have used a pseudonym in the past or those who have written in other categories (adult, middle grade, etc.) in the past. Authors who have self-published are not included here either.

All descriptions are from Goodreads, unless otherwise noted. If I’m missing any debuts that came out or will come out in June from traditional publishers — and I should clarify that indie/small presses are okay — let me know in the comments.

As always, not all noted titles included here are necessarily endorsements for those titles. List is arranged alphabetically by title. Starred titles are the beginning of a new series.

 

June 2021 Debut YA Novels

 

Ace of Spades by Faridah Abike-Iyimide

When two Niveus Private Academy students, Devon Richards and Chiamaka Adebayo, are selected to be part of the elite school’s senior class prefects, it looks like their year is off to an amazing start. After all, not only does it look great on college applications, but it officially puts each of them in the running for valedictorian, too.

Shortly after the announcement is made, though, someone who goes by Aces begins using anonymous text messages to reveal secrets about the two of them that turn their lives upside down and threaten every aspect of their carefully planned futures.

As Aces shows no sign of stopping, what seemed like a sick prank quickly turns into a dangerous game, with all the cards stacked against them. Can Devon and Chiamaka stop Aces before things become incredibly deadly?

With heart-pounding suspense and relevant social commentary comes a high-octane thriller from debut author Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé.

 

Along for the Ride by Rachel Meinke

Imagine if your brother was a Justin Bieber-like pop star? And your parents forced you to go on tour?

Connor Jackson. These two words make every girl go crazy, screaming and begging for a chance to meet him. He’s the world’s biggest pop star, but for seventeen-year-old Katelyn Jackson: he’s just her older brother. When she’s forced to put her competitive soccer dreams on hold to go along on his US summer tour, she’s unimpressed. But when she meets the lead singer of his opening act, everything changes and life on the road takes a whole different turn.

 

 

 

 

*Blood Like Magic by Liselle Sambury

After years of waiting for her Calling—a trial every witch must pass in order to come into their powers—the one thing Voya Thomas didn’t expect was to fail. When Voya’s ancestor gives her an unprecedented second chance to complete her Calling, she agrees—and then is horrified when her task is to kill her first love. And this time, failure means every Thomas witch will be stripped of their magic.

Voya is determined to save her family’s magic no matter the cost. The problem is, Voya has never been in love, so for her to succeed, she’ll first have to find the perfect guy—and fast. Fortunately, a genetic matchmaking program has just hit the market. Her plan is to join the program, fall in love, and complete her task before the deadline. What she doesn’t count on is being paired with the infuriating Luc—how can she fall in love with a guy who seemingly wants nothing to do with her?

With mounting pressure from her family, Voya is caught between her morality and her duty to her bloodline. If she wants to save their heritage and Luc, she’ll have to find something her ancestor wants more than blood. And in witchcraft, blood is everything.

 

The Coming Storm by Regina M. Hansen

There’s a certain wild magic in the salt air and the thrum of the sea. Beet MacNeill has known this all her life. It added spice to her childhood adventures with her older cousin, Gerry, the two of them thick as thieves as they explored their Prince Edward Island home. So when Gerry comes up the path one early spring morning, Beet thinks nothing of it at first. But he is soaking wet and silent, and he plays a haunting tune on his fiddle that chills Beet to the bone. Something is very, very wrong.

Things only get worse when Marina Shaw saunters into town and takes an unsettling interest in Gerry’s new baby. Local lore is filled with tales of a vicious shape-shifting sea creature and the cold, beautiful woman who controls him—a woman who bears a striking resemblance to Marina. Beet is determined to find out what happened to her beloved cousin, and to prevent the same fate from befalling the handsome new boy in town who is winning her heart, whether she wants him to or not. Yet the sea always exacts a price…

 

*Daughter of Sparta by Claire Andrews

Seventeen-year-old Daphne has spent her entire life honing her body and mind into that of a warrior, hoping to be accepted by the unyielding people of ancient Sparta. But an unexpected encounter with the goddess Artemis—who holds Daphne’s brother’s fate in her hands—upends the life she’s worked so hard to build. Nine mysterious items have been stolen from Mount Olympus and if Daphne cannot find them, the gods’ waning powers will fade away, the mortal world will descend into chaos, and her brother’s life will be forfeit.

Guided by Artemis’s twin-the handsome and entirely-too-self-assured god Apollo-Daphne’s journey will take her from the labyrinth of the Minotaur to the riddle-spinning Sphinx of Thebes, team her up with mythological legends such as Theseus and Hippolyta of the Amazons, and pit her against the gods themselves.

A reinterpretation of the classic Greek myth of Daphne and Apollo, Daughter of Sparta by debut author Claire Andrews turns the traditionally male-dominated mythology we know into a heart-pounding and empowering female-led adventure.

 

Don’t Hate The Player by Alexis Nedd

By day, Emilia is a field hockey star with a popular boyfriend and a mother obsessed with her academic future. But by night, she’s kicking virtual ass as the only female member of a highly competitive eSports team. Emilia has mastered the art of keeping her two worlds thriving, which hinges on them staying completely separate.

When a major eSports tournament comes to her city, Emilia is determined to prove herself to the male-dominated gaming community. But her perfectly balanced life is thrown for a loop when a member of a rival team—Jake—recognizes her . . .

From an exciting new talent, this sweet and charming YA romance will win the hearts of gamers and non-gamers alike.

 

 

Down With This Ship by Katie Kingman

Kole Miller does one thing really well: write fanfiction for the show The Space Game. Everything else is a struggle: like managing her anxiety, frequent crushes, and plans after high school. But when her blog, Spacer, wins a major fanfiction contest, her traffic soars.

With massive readership comes criticism Kole isn’t prepared for, including getting stuck in the heated ship wars surrounding the show. And then an invitation to speak at The Space Game’s official convention arrives in her inbox.

When the most competitive kids in her Creative Writing class discover Kole’s writing Spacer, her blog is taken hostage and she risks them hitting ctrl+A+del on Spacer. To win it back, Kole must face both her inner demons and the ones at Crystal Lake High before they make the drama not just about The Space Game, but about Kole herself.

Including snippets from Kole’s fanfic, emails, and text messages, Down With This Ship is sure to bring out the inner fangirl in anyone.

 

*Gearbreakers by Zoe Hana Mikuta

Two girls on opposite sides of a war discover they’re fighting for a common purpose–and falling for each other–in  Zoe Hana Mikuta’s high-octane debut Gearbreakers, perfect for fans of Pacific Rim, Pierce Brown’s Red Rising Saga, and Marie Lu’s Legend series.

We went past praying to deities and started to build them instead...

The shadow of Godolia’s tyrannical rule is spreading, aided by their giant mechanized weapons known as Windups. War and oppression are everyday constants for the people of the Badlands, who live under the thumb of their cruel Godolia overlords.

Eris Shindanai is a Gearbreaker, a brash young rebel who specializes in taking down Windups from the inside. When one of her missions goes awry and she finds herself in a Godolia prison, Eris meets Sona Steelcrest, a cybernetically enhanced Windup pilot. At first Eris sees Sona as her mortal enemy, but Sona has a secret: She has intentionally infiltrated the Windup program to destroy Godolia from within.

As the clock ticks down to their deadliest mission yet, a direct attack to end Godolia’s reign once and for all, Eris and Sona grow closer–as comrades, friends, and perhaps something more…

 

Girls At The Edge of the World by Laura Brooke Robson

In a world bound for an epic flood, only a chosen few are guaranteed safe passage into the new world once the waters recede. The Kostrovian royal court will be saved, of course, along with their guards. But the fate of the court’s Royal Flyers, a lauded fleet of aerial silk performers, is less certain. Hell-bent on survival, Principal Flyer, Natasha Koskinen, will do anything to save the Flyers, who are the only family she’s ever known. Even if “anything” means molding herself into the type of girl who could be courted by Prince Nikolai. But unbeknownst to Natasha, her newest recruit, Ella Neves, is driven less by her desire to survive the floods than her thirst for revenge. And Ella’s mission could put everything Natasha has worked for in peril.

As the oceans rise, so too does an undeniable spark between the two flyers. With the end of the world looming, and dark secrets about the Kostrovian court coming to light, Ella and Natasha can either give in to despair . . . or find a new reason to live.

 

The In Between by Marc Klein

After bouncing around in foster homes for most of her childhood, seventeen-year-old Tessa Jacobs doesn’t believe she deserves love — not from her adoptive parents, and certainly not from anyone at school.

But everything changes when she has a chance encounter at the local movie theater with Skylar, a senior from a neighboring town who’s a true romantic. Their budding relationship quickly leads to the kind of passionate love you only see in the movies. And Tessa starts to believe she might be deserving of a happy ending after all.

When tragedy strikes, Tessa wakes up alone in the hospital with no memory of how she got there. And Skylar has passed away. As Tessa begins her relentless search for answers, Skylar’s spirit reaches out to her from the other side. Desperate to see him one last time, Tessa must unravel the pieces of their relationship — and the truth might even lead her into the afterlife itself.

 

Kind of Sort of Fine by Spencer Hall

Senior year changes everything for two teens in this poignant, funny coming-of-age story that looks at what happens when the image everyone has of us no longer matches who we really are.

Senior year of high school is full of changes.

For Hayley Mills, these changes aren’t exactly welcome. All she wants is for everyone to forget about her very public breakdown and remember her as the overachiever she once was—and who she’s determined to be again. But it’s difficult to be seen as a go-getter when she’s forced into TV Production class with all the slackers like Lewis Holbrook.

For Lewis, though, this is going to be his year. After a summer spent binging 80s movies, he’s ready to upgrade from the role of self-described fat, funny sidekick to leading man of his own life—including getting the girl. The only thing standing in his way is, well, himself.

When the two are partnered up in class, neither is particularly thrilled. But then they start making mini documentaries about their classmates’ hidden talents, and suddenly Hayley is getting attention for something other than her breakdown, and Lewis isn’t just a background character anymore. It seems like they’re both finally getting what they want—except what happens when who you’ve become isn’t who you really are?

 

The Nature of Witches by Rachel Griffin

For centuries, witches have maintained the climate, their power from the sun peaking in the season of their birth. But now their control is faltering as the atmosphere becomes more erratic. All hope lies with Clara, an Everwitch whose rare magic is tied to every season.

In Autumn, Clara wants nothing to do with her power. It’s wild and volatile, and the price of her magic―losing the ones she loves―is too high, despite the need to control the increasingly dangerous weather.

In Winter, the world is on the precipice of disaster. Fires burn, storms rage, and Clara accepts that she’s the only one who can make a difference.

In Spring, she falls for Sang, the witch training her. As her magic grows, so do her feelings, until she’s terrified Sang will be the next one she loses.

In Summer, Clara must choose between her power and her happiness, her duty and the people she loves… before she loses Sang, her magic, and thrusts the world into chaos.

 

Never Kiss Your Roommate by Philline Harms

Welcome to Seven Hills, the world’s most exclusive boarding school where only the best and brightest roam the hallowed halls. Being committed to your studies, service, and community doesn’t mean that you can’t break the rules now and again, right?

But watch your back because lurking on the anonymous Chitter Chatter Blog is The Watcher—who can’t wait to reveal all the latest hookups, hot lists, and secrets around campus. The latest objects of The Watcher’s affection? Straight-off-the-train (but not exactly straight) insta-besties Evelyn and Seth.

It doesn’t take long for Evelyn to realize she is inexplicably drawn to her gorgeous and standoffish roommate Noelle. Meanwhile Seth has eyes, and some serious heart palpitations, for budding thespian and school flirt Jasper. Just as things start to heat up, The Watcher strikes. Will the secrets revealed turn their happily ever afters into happily never afters?

 

The Passing Playbook by Isaac Fitzsimons

Love, Simon meets Friday Night Lights in this feelgood LGBTQ+ romance about a trans teen torn between standing up for his rights and staying stealth.

‘A sharply observant and vividly drawn debut. I loved every minute I spent in this story’ – Becky Albertalli

Fifteen-year-old Spencer Harris is a proud nerd, an awesome big brother and a Messi-in-training. He’s also transgender. After transitioning at his old school leads to a year of bullying, Spencer gets a fresh start at Oakley, the most liberal private school in Ohio.

At Oakley, Spencer seems to have it all: more accepting classmates, a decent shot at a starting position on the boy’s soccer team, great new friends, and maybe even something more than friendship with one of his teammates. The problem is, no one at Oakley knows Spencer is trans – he’s passing.

So when a discriminatory law forces Spencer’s coach to bench him after he discovers the ‘F’ on Spencer’s birth certificate, Spencer has to make a choice: cheer his team on from the sidelines or publicly fight for his right to play, even if it means coming out to everyone – including the guy he’s falling for.

 

The Sea Is Salt and So Am I by Cassandra Hartt

West Finch is one hurricane away from falling into the sea.

Yet sixteen-year-old Harlow Prout is determined to save her small Maine hometown. If only she could stop getting in her own way and find someone, anyone, willing to help. But her best friend Ellis MacQueen “fixes” problems by running away from them―including his broken relationship with his twin brother, Tommy. And Tommy’s depression has hit a new low, so he’s not up for fixing anything.

In the wake of the town’s latest devastating storm, Tommy goes out for a swim that he doesn’t intend to survive. It’s his unexpected return that sets into motion a sea change between these three teens. One that tests old loyalties, sparks new romance, and uncovers painful secrets. And nothing stays secret in West Finch for long.

 

 

The Summer of Lost Letters by Hannah Reynolds

Seventeen-year-old Abby Schoenberg isn’t exactly looking forward to the summer before her senior year. She’s just broken up with her first boyfriend and her friends are all off in different, exciting directions for the next three months. Abby needs a plan–an adventure of her own. Enter: the letters.

They show up one rainy day along with the rest of Abby’s recently deceased grandmother’s possessions. And these aren’t any old letters; they’re love letters. Love letters from a mystery man named Edward. Love letters from a mansion on Nantucket. Abby doesn’t know much about her grandmother’s past. She knows she was born in Germany and moved to the US when she was five, fleeing the Holocaust. But the details are either hazy or nonexistent; and these letters depict a life that is a bit different than the quiet one Abby knows about.

And so, Abby heads to Nantucket for the summer to learn more about her grandmother and the secrets she kept. But when she meets Edward’s handsome grandson, who wants to stop her from investigating, things get complicated. As Abby and Noah grow closer, the mysteries in their families deepen, and they discover that they both have to accept the burdens of their pasts if they want the kinds of futures they’ve always imagined.

 

The (Un)popular Vote by Jasper Sanchez

Vaseline on the teeth makes a smile shine. It’s a cheap stunt, but Mark Adams knows it’s optics that can win or ruin an election.

Everything Mark learned about politics, he learned from his father, the congressman who still pretends he has a daughter and not a son. To protect his father’s image, Mark promises to keep his past hidden and pretend to be the cis guy everyone assumes he is. But when he sees a manipulatively charming candidate for student body president inflame dangerous rhetoric, Mark decides to risk the low profile he assured his father and insert himself as a political challenger.

One big problem? No one really knows Mark. He didn’t grow up in this town, and he has few friends; plus, the ones he does have aren’t exactly with the in-crowd. Still, thanks to countless seasons of Scandal and The West Wing, these nerds know where to start: from campaign stops to voter polling to a fashion makeover. Soon Mark feels emboldened to get in front of and engage with voters—and even start a new romance. But with an investigative journalist digging into his past, a father trying to silence him, and a bully front-runner who stands in his way, Mark will have to decide which matters most: perception or truth, when both are just as dangerous.

 

When You and I Collide by Kate Norris

Sixteen-year-old Winnie Schulde has always seen splits–the moment when two possible outcomes diverge, one in her universe and one in another. Multiverse theory, Winnie knows, is all too real, though she has never been anything but an observer of its implications–a secret she keeps hidden from just about everyone, as she knows the uses to which it might be put in the midst of a raging WWII. But her physicist father, wrapped up in his research and made cruel by his grief after the loss of Winnie’s mother, believes that if he pushes her hard enough, she can choose one split over another and maybe, just maybe, change their future and their past.

Winnie is certain that her father’s theories are just that, so she plays along in an effort to placate him. Until one day, when her father’s experiment goes wrong and Scott, the kind and handsome lab assistant Winnie loves from afar, is seriously injured. Without meaning to, Winnie chooses the split where Scott is unharmed. And in doing so, finds herself pulled into another universe, an alternate reality. One that already has a Winnie.

In this darkly thrilling novel that blends science and war with love and loss, some actions just can’t be undone.

 

*The Witch King by H.E. Edgmon

To save a fae kingdom, a trans witch must face his traumatic past and the royal fiancé he left behind. This debut YA fantasy will leave you spellbound.

Wyatt would give anything to forget where he came from—but a kingdom demands its king.

In Asalin, fae rule and witches like Wyatt Croft…don’t. Wyatt’s betrothal to his best friend, fae prince Emyr North, was supposed to change that. But when Wyatt lost control of his magic one devastating night, he fled to the human world.

Now a coldly distant Emyr has hunted him down. Despite transgender Wyatt’s newfound identity and troubling past, Emyr has no intention of dissolving their engagement. In fact, he claims they must marry now or risk losing the throne. Jaded, Wyatt strikes a deal with the enemy, hoping to escape Asalin forever. But as he gets to know Emyr, Wyatt realizes the boy he once loved may still exist. And as the witches face worsening conditions, he must decide once and for all what’s more important—his people or his freedom.

A Few Recent Reads – Historical Egypt themed

I’ve been on an Egypt kick lately, reading a mix of historical fiction and nonfiction. Here are a few recent reads.

Mirage: Napoleon’s Scientists and the Unveiling of Egypt by Nina Burleigh

I knew nothing about Napoleon’s ill-considered foray into Egypt in the late 18th century. Intending to invade the country and use it as a springboard to conquer other parts of North Africa and the Middle East, Napoleon brought not only his army but also a small group of savants, scientists whose job it was to study anything and everything about a country most French people knew nothing about. In fact, the savants (and most of the soldiers) had no idea where they were going when they agreed to follow Napoleon on his latest jaunt; they were persuaded by a combination of scientific curiosity and Napoleon’s star power. They included over 150 astronomers, mathematicians, naturalists, artists, chemists, and even a musicologist. Many of these men were pioneers in their field.

They were in Egypt for just over three years, were the first Europeans to uncover the Rosetta Stone (though it became the property of the British – and remains so despite Egypt’s requests to have it returned – when they defeated the French not much later), and compiled a huge 23-volume book describing what they had observed and learned. I found Mirage interesting in a number of ways: the history of science and scientific study including the advent of Egyptology, how 18th century Egyptians lived, the clash of cultures and how the savants embraced or rejected colonization and conquest, the character of Napoleon and how and why so many of his countrymen idolized him, and much more. Two details in particular that I remember vividly: in their thirst while trekking across the hot and dry desert, the French would often gulp down seemingly fresh water that was infested with tiny leeches, which then became stuck in their throats and grew; and in 1799, Napoleon abandoned his army in Egypt to return to France, leaving his army and his savants without their leader in Egypt for two more years, during which they suffered from bubonic plague, attacks from Egyptians and Turks, and finally succumbed to the British army, which forced them to surrender most of their artifacts.

 

Death Comes as the End by Agatha Christie

For most of us, Agatha Christie’s books were written far enough in the past that even though they were set in her own time, they feel like historical fiction. But much to my delight, Christie did write a genuine historical mystery, one set in ancient Egypt around 2,000 BC. It’s still classic Christie though: a murder in a family home, with a limited suspect pool made up of the family members and servants. Here, the new concubine of a ka-priest is murdered, and everyone in the home had reason to want her dead, including the ka-priest’s three sons, their wives, a resentful servant, a scribe new to the household, and the ka-priest’s elderly mother. The only person beyond suspicion is the de facto protagonist Renisenb, the ka-priest’s only daughter who has returned to the household after her husband died.

There are some interesting details about Egyptian daily life, in particular the job of a ka-priest, someone hired by an Egyptian to maintain a loved one’s tomb (in this book, the ka-priest is a respected and wealthy landowner). And as the concubine is only the first of many murders, Christie has ample opportunity to show ancient Egyptian death rites. The book opens with a letter from Christie herself to Professor S. R. K. (Stephen) Glanville, an Egyptologist and friend of Christie’s who inspired the idea of a historical mystery set there. Christie clearly did some research into ancient Egypt, though the book never does feel truly immersive; historical fiction was not her forte. The mystery, though, is a good one – details all come together in the end, and while the rising body count narrows the suspect pool substantially so that readers may likely guess the culprit before the reveal, it’s still satisfying. Moreover, it’s just an interesting thing to read about how Christie imagined Ancient Egypt.

 

The Painted Queen by Elizabeth Peters and Joan Hess

I wrote a bit about this one a couple of weeks ago, when I was partway through it. Now that I’ve finished it, I think I appreciate it more than most other readers have. The story was engaging, with two dual mysteries, two dastardly villains, and two dramatic reveals where both villains met their somewhat grisly ends (one involves a crocodile). I wish Hess had brought back more of our favorite characters for a last hurrah, particularly Evelyn, but overall I think she did a really solid job.

To be honest, the series had tapered off a bit ever since Ramses and Nefret finally got together. The mysteries followed the same cadence each time, and with Sethos being a good guy and no real romantic tension left to explore, the characters felt reassuringly familiar but not particularly interesting (the mysteries themselves were never the highlight). The Painted Queen is set before Ramses/Nefret reconciled and Sethos left behind his villainous ways (and his true identity was revealed), but it didn’t quite recapture the old excitement. I wish there had been more scenes from Manuscript H with Ramses and Nefret sharing page time; that most of all feels like a squandered opportunity. Still, The Painted Queen matches some of the later Peters books in quality. Fun fact: this book actually references Napoleon’s expedition and the savants briefly!

What I’m Reading Now

The Painted Queen by Elizabeth Peters and Joan Hess

I’ve started this series about a 19th century Egyptologist and her family many times, but this is the first time I’ve actually read it the entire way through. This is the 20th and final book in the series, though it takes place earlier chronologically. (The last chronological book, Tomb of the Golden Bird, culminated with the discovery of King Tut’s tomb, a fitting end to the family’s adventures.) Peters, the pen name of real-life Egyptologist Barbara Mertz, passed away before she could finish this last book, so her friend and fellow mystery novelist Joan Hess finished it, though it seems like she wrote the bulk of it and used Mertz’s notes as a guide.

It’s a fun read so far, concerning the theft of a bust of Nefertiti as well as an attempted assassination of Amelia herself, though other readers’ comments that it seems more like fanfiction than the real thing are accurate. Hess can’t quite nail the characters, and some details are off. It helps that Barbara Rosenblat narrates this one as she does all the others, providing continuity in sound if not always in word. Both Hess and Egyptologist Salima Ikram wrote forewords, and they help illuminate Peters/Mertz a bit more, including both her personality and her research methods for the books. They also note that Mertz had already written the last chapter and it is reproduced unchanged in the book; I look forward to finishing the book if only to read that particular section. While far from one of the best in the series, this is a curious and necessary book for completists.

The Future is Yours by Dan Frey

Much like my quest to find an end-of-the-world book as good as Station Eleven, I’m on a quest to find a book about time travel/time manipulation as good as Recursion. Alas, this is not it (in both pursuits I feel I will always come up short, but at least most of the books I find are good, even if they are not as top-notch as the aforementioned exemplars).

Frey’s book is about two men – Ben and Adhi – who invent a way for a computer to predict the future, precisely one year in advance. It’s told entirely in emails, text messages, and other recordings, framed by transcripts of a congressional hearing into the potential danger of the tech. While it certainly touches upon the potential for cataclysmic consequences from a machine that tells the future, the book mostly focuses on Ben and Adhi’s friendship, which is interesting and well executed but makes the story feel curiously narrow. The most interesting thing Frey does with his story is initially present the future as immutable – everything Ben and Adhi do to try to prevent something bad from happening in a year only ends up causing it – and then complicate that idea with an interesting twist to the plot partway through, setting the stage for a great ending that genuinely surprised and satisfied me.

Teen Lotto Dreams: YA Books About The Lottery

A couple of years back, there were two YA books that explored what happened when a teen received a winning lottery ticket. It was a neat coincidence that stuck in my head. When I saw a book out this year with a similar premise, it made me wonder how often the lottery plays a part in YA books.

The answer is enough to make a book list.

Find below a roundup of YA books about winning the lottery. Some of these books feature teens who win, while others feature family members who win or someone unrelated who wins but that lottery is a major plot point. Most of these are newer, but a few of these go deep into backlist territory.

Note that these are very white in authorship and main character.

I’m positive there are other YA books about teens and the lottery not included, so if you know any, please drop them in the comments. Descriptions are from Goodreads.

 

 

 

YA Books About The Lottery

 

Cashing In by Susan Colebank

There are some problems even winning the lottery can?t fix With as many hours as Reggie Shaw puts in at the Cashmart, it?s no wonder that her grades and her friendships are slipping. Worst of all, Reggie?s mother?s inability to keep a job means that Reggie is pulling the weight of two people. Then, Reggie?s mom wins big in the lottery. Suddenly the money?and the popularity?comes pouring in. But when Reggie finds out that her mother has been borrowing more money than she actually won, she must face up to the fact that happiness can?t be bought?it only comes with hard work.

 

 

 

 

Everything You Want by Barbara Shoup

With high school mercifully drawing to a close, Emma’s only question is, “What next? And can it please be completely unlike what happened before?” Then one lucky little lotto ticket seems to give the answer-or does it? Everything You Want is a story about what happens to an average family when money is suddenly no object. Although Emma is bright and creative and has a supportive family, she isn’t exactly excited about life after high school. She’s got her share of unresolved issues, including a disastrous ending to her crush of a lifetime, which left her with a broken heart and a bloody nose (how do you move on when the only boy you’ve ever wanted to date punches you in the face?). Then Emma’s family wins fifty million dollars in the lottery, but instead of making everything better, it just makes everything more complicated.

 

 

 

 

Lucky Girl by Jamie Pacton

58,642,129. That’s how many dollars seventeen-year-old Fortuna Jane Belleweather just won in the lotto jackpot. It’s also about how many reasons she has for not coming forward to claim her prize.

Problem #1: Jane is still a minor, and if anyone discovers she bought the ticket underage, she’ll either have to forfeit the ticket, or worse . . .

Problem #2: Let her hoarder mother cash it. The last thing Jane’s mom needs is millions of dollars to buy more junk. Then . . .

Problem #3: Jane’s best friend, aspiring journalist Brandon Kim, declares on the news that he’s going to find the lucky winner. It’s one thing to keep her secret from the town — it’s another thing entirely to lie to her best friend. Especially when . . .

Problem #4: Jane’s ex-boyfriend, Holden, is suddenly back in her life, and he has big ideas about what he’d do with the prize money. As suspicion and jealousy turn neighbor against neighbor, and no good options for cashing the ticket come forward, Jane begins to wonder: Could this much money actually be a bad thing.

 

Lucky in Love by Kasie West

Maddie’s not impulsive. She’s all about hard work and planning ahead. But one night, on a whim, she buys a lottery ticket. And then, to her astonishment —

She wins!

In a flash, Maddie’s life is unrecognizable. No more stressing about college scholarships. Suddenly, she’s talking about renting a yacht. And being in the spotlight at school is fun… until rumors start flying, and random people ask her for loans. Now, Maddie isn’t sure who she can trust.

Except for Seth Nguyen, her funny, charming coworker at the local zoo. Seth doesn’t seem aware of Maddie’s big news. And, for some reason, she doesn’t want to tell him. But what will happen if he learns her secret?

 

 

Windfall by Jennifer E. Smith

Let luck find you.

Alice doesn’t believe in luck—at least, not the good kind. But she does believe in love, and for some time now, she’s been pining for her best friend, Teddy. On his eighteenth birthday—just when it seems they might be on the brink of something—she buys him a lottery ticket on a lark. To their astonishment, he wins $140 million, and in an instant, everything changes.

At first, it seems like a dream come true, especially since the two of them are no strangers to misfortune. As a kid, Alice won the worst kind of lottery possible when her parents died just over a year apart from each other. And Teddy’s father abandoned his family not long after that, leaving them to grapple with his gambling debts. Through it all, Teddy and Alice have leaned on each other. But now, as they negotiate the ripple effects of Teddy’s newfound wealth, a gulf opens between them. And soon, the money starts to feel like more of a curse than a windfall.

As they try to find their way back to each other, Alice learns more about herself than she ever could have imagined…and about the unexpected ways in which luck and love sometimes intersect.

 

Jackpot by Nic Stone

Meet Rico: high school senior and afternoon-shift cashier at the Gas ‘n’ Go, who after school and work races home to take care of her younger brother. Every. Single. Day. When Rico sells a jackpot-winning lotto ticket, she thinks maybe her luck will finally change, but only if she–with some assistance from her popular and wildly rich classmate Zan–can find the ticket holder who hasn’t claimed the prize. But what happens when have and have-nots collide? Will this investigative duo unite…or divide?

Nic Stone, the New York Times bestselling author of Dear Martinand Odd One Out, creates two unforgettable characters in one hard-hitting story about class, money–both too little and too much–and how you make your own luck in the world.

 

 

 

Spoils by Tammar Stein

When Leni’s family hit the lottery, life got . . . well, strange. Leni’s parents built a mansion fit for royalty; they enrolled their daughter in the fanciest, most expensive private school in Florida; and they even bought Leni a dolphin for her 12th birthday (she made them take it back). But all of that extravagant living has caught up with them and the lottery money is about to run out—except for the large trust fund Leni will inherit on her 18th birthday, now only a week away. Leni is prepared to give her parents the money until her sister, Natasha, confesses a shocking secret—one that threatens to destroy their entire family. Leni has been ordered to fix it, but how?

Donuts That Do Double Duty

Here’s a fun thing I saw while perusing book covers: two 2021 children’s literature books featuring donuts on the cover. But these aren’t just donuts.

They’re donuts that do double duty.

Sarah Moon’s Middletown features a pink frosted donut that double as a road. How clever are the sprinkles that are also the lane dashes? Here’s the middle grade’s book description:

Thirteen-year-old Eli likes baggy clothes, baseball caps, and one girl in particular. Her seventeen-year-old sister Anna is more traditionally feminine; she loves boys and staying out late. They are sisters, and they are also the only family each can count on. Their dad has long been out of the picture, and their mom lives at the mercy of her next drink. When their mom lands herself in enforced rehab, Anna and Eli are left to fend for themselves. With no legal guardian to keep them out of foster care, they take matters into their own hands: Anna masquerades as Aunt Lisa, and together she and Eli hoard whatever money they can find. But their plans begin to unravel as quickly as they were made, and they are always way too close to getting caught.

Eli and Anna have each gotten used to telling lies as a means of survival, but as they navigate a world without their mother, they must learn how to accept help, and let other people in.

 

Here’s the other double duty donut cover:

The first book in a juvenile graphic novel series, Stephan Patis’s Squirrel Do Bad also features a pink frosted donut, but this sugary sweet also serves as the home for some interesting creatures. The description for the book which comes out August 31:

Wendy the Wanderer has lived in Trubble Town her whole life but never had the chance to go exploring. For this reason, she thinks she was definitely misnamed. Her dad likes to know where she is to make sure she’s safe, so she’s never been anywhere on her own. Then, her dad leaves on a trip and the babysitter doesn’t reinforce all the usual rules. Or any of the usual rules! Suddenly, Wendy is free to do what she wants, and what she wants is to live up to her name…and find Trubble.

Turns out, there’s lots going on in Trubble Town. As she encounters endearingly goofy animals and hilariously hapless townsfolk, Wendy’s very first adventure takes more twists and turns than she could have ever expected. She learns some really valuable life lessons and even teaches a few of her own.

 

I really enjoy these delightfully fun covers and also hope that there are more double-duty donut covers coming soon.

Mystery & Thriller Round-Up (Part II)

Here are brief reviews of a few more mysteries and thrillers I’ve read recently.

Home Before Dark by Riley Sager

This book was a trip. It’s about a woman whose father wrote a supposedly true story about a haunted house they lived in when she was a kid. The book became a bestseller, and as a result, Maggie’s whole life has been colored by this horror story, which all happened when she was too young to even remember. She believes her father (along with her mother) made it all up for money. Now her father has died, and she learns he left the house to her in his will. Against her mother’s concerns, Maggie returns to the house to fix it up and sell it and along the way, learn what really happened in that house, thereby disproving any supernatural explanation.

The narrative alternates between snippets of Maggie’s father’s book and Maggie’s adventures in the house, It’s interesting to read about how Maggie’s father wrote about the events and how Maggie and the others involved remember them, if at all. There are a ton of secrets to be unearthed in the present day, a decades-old disappearance that might be a murder chief among them. Maggie also has to contend with hostile neighbors who resent the notoriety her father’s book brought to the neighborhood as well as strange goings-on in the house, like things disappearing or moving, a record player that seems to play itself, lights going on when no one is home, and so on. The major reveal is a great one, a fantastic payoff with many layers that caps off a truly entertaining tale.

An Unwanted Guest and A Stranger in the House by Shari Lapena

I read Lapena’s first novel, The Couple Next Door, and thought it was fine. Nothing special, but worth a read. These other two were significant disappointments. One is about a murder in a remote hotel that loses power (this is a common setup in my recent reads!), and the other about a woman who experiences amnesia after a car crash and may have killed someone. Lapena writes in third person, but shifts the perspective frequently back and forth, often within the same page, giving the books a jumpy feel and really limiting the reader’s ability to know or understand any of the characters well. The explanations for the murders seem to come out of left field with little or no actual clues pointing to the solution. Lapena provides a twist at the end of each book, but in one case, it was completely unnecessary and left a bad taste in my mouth (it was presented almost as a triumph when it was decidedly not), and in the other, it revealed the murderer’s motive in a couple of minutes with no lead-up and certainly no reference to actual clues that would have allowed the reader to deduce it themselves. Better books exist.

 

This or That?: A YA Title Trend

Here’s a fun title trend I’ve come across this year: YA book titles that begin with “This” or “That.” It’s not entirely new, of course, but it’s showed up quite a bit more than in the past, and the trend will continue on into 2022. Find below some of the This or That YA book titles from 2020, 2021, and upcoming in 2022, organized by publication year, since that shows the trend quite nicely. Descriptions are from Goodreads, and if you know of others that fit, leave ’em in the comments!

This or That: A YA Title Trend2020 Titles This Coven Won’t Break by Isabel Sterling (second in a series)

Hannah Walsh just wants a normal life. It’s her senior year, so she should be focusing on classes, hanging out with her best friend, and flirting with her new girlfriend, Morgan. But it turns out surviving a murderous Witch Hunter doesn’t exactly qualify as a summer vacation, and now the rest of the Hunters seem more intent on destroying her magic than ever.

When Hannah learns the Hunters have gone nationwide, armed with a serum capable of taking out entire covens at once, she’s desperate to help. Now, with witches across the country losing the most important thing they have—their power—Hannah could be their best shot at finally defeating the Hunters. After all, she’s one of the only witches to escape a Hunter with her magic intact.

Or so everyone believes. Because as good as she is at faking it, doing even the smallest bit of magic leaves her in agony. The only person who can bring her comfort, who can make her power flourish, is Morgan. But Morgan’s magic is on the line, too, and if Hannah can’t figure out how to save her—and the rest of the Witches—she’ll lose everything she’s ever known. And as the Hunters get dangerously close to their final target, will all the Witches in Salem be enough to stop an enemy determined to destroy magic for good?

 

This Is All Your Fault by Aminah Mae Safi

Rinn Olivera is finally going to tell her longtime crush AJ that she’s in love with him.

Daniella Korres writes poetry for her own account, but nobody knows it’s her.

Imogen Azar is just trying to make it through the day.

When Rinn, Daniella, and Imogen clock into work at Wild Nights Bookstore on the first day of summer, they’re expecting the hours to drift by the way they always do. Instead, they have to deal with the news that the bookstore is closing. Before the day is out, there’ll be shaved heads, a diva author, and a very large shipment of Air Jordans to contend with.

And it will take all three of them working together if they have any chance to save Wild Nights Bookstore.

 

This Train Is Being Held by Ismée Amiel Williams

When private school student Isabelle Warren first meets Dominican-American Alex Rosario on the downtown 1 train, she remembers his green eyes and his gentlemanly behavior. He remembers her untroubled happiness, something he feels all rich kids must possess. That, and her long dancer legs. Over the course of multiple subway encounters spanning the next three years, Isabelle learns of Alex’s struggle with his father, who is hell-bent on Alex being a contender for the major leagues, despite Alex’s desire to go to college and become a poet. Alex learns about Isabelle’s unstable mother, a woman with a prejudice against Latino men. But fate—and the 1 train—throw them together when Isabelle needs Alex most. Heartfelt and evocative, this romantic drama will appeal to readers of Jenny Han and Sarah Dessen.

 

 

 

 

This Is My America by Kim Johnson

Every week, seventeen-year-old Tracy Beaumont writes letters to Innocence X, asking the organization to help her father, an innocent Black man on death row. After seven years, Tracy is running out of time—her dad has only 267 days left. Then the unthinkable happens. The police arrive in the night, and Tracy’s older brother, Jamal, goes from being a bright, promising track star to a “thug” on the run, accused of killing a white girl. Determined to save her brother, Tracy investigates what really happened between Jamal and Angela down at the Pike. But will Tracy and her family survive the uncovering of the skeletons of their Texas town’s racist history that still haunt the present?

 

 

 

 

This Light Between Us by Andrew Fukuda

In 1935, ten-year-old Alex Maki from Bainbridge Island, Washington is disgusted when he’s forced to become pen pals with Charlie Levy of Paris, France–a girl. He thought she was a boy. In spite of Alex’s reluctance, their letters continue to fly across the Atlantic–and along with them the shared hopes and dreams of friendship. Until the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor and the growing Nazi persecution of Jews force them to confront the darkest aspects of human nature.

From the desolation of an internment camp on the plains of Manzanar to the horrors of Auschwitz and the devastation of European battlefields, the only thing they can hold onto are the memories of their letters. But nothing can dispel the light between them.

 

 

This Is My Brain In Love by IW Gregorio

Jocelyn Wu has just three wishes for her junior year: To make it through without dying of boredom, to direct a short film with her BFF Priya Venkatram, and to get at least two months into the year without being compared to or confused with Peggy Chang, the only other Chinese girl in her grade.

Will Domenici has two goals: to find a paying summer internship, and to prove he has what it takes to become an editor on his school paper.

Then Jocelyn’s father tells her their family restaurant may be going under, and all wishes are off. Because her dad has the marketing skills of a dumpling, it’s up to Jocelyn and her unlikely new employee, Will, to bring A-Plus Chinese Garden into the 21st century (or, at least, to Facebook).What starts off as a rocky partnership soon grows into something more. But family prejudices and the uncertain future of A-Plus threaten to keep Will and Jocelyn apart. It will take everything they have and more, to save the family restaurant and their budding romance.

 

This Is How We Fly by Anna Meriano

17-year-old vegan feminist Ellen Lopez-Rourke has one muggy Houston summer left before college. She plans to spend every last moment with her two best friends before they go off to the opposite ends of Texas for school. But when Ellen is grounded for the entire summer by her (sometimes) evil stepmother, all her plans are thrown out the window.

Determined to do something with her time, Ellen (with the help of BFF Melissa) convinces her parents to let her join the local muggle Quidditch team. An all-gender, full-contact game, Quidditch isn’t quite what Ellen expects. There’s no flying, no magic, just a bunch of scrappy players holding PVC pipe between their legs and throwing dodgeballs. Suddenly Ellen is thrown into the very different world of sports: her life is all practices, training, and running with a group of Harry Potter fans.

Even as Melissa pulls away to pursue new relationships and their other BFF Xiumiao seems more interested in moving on from high school (and from Ellen), Ellen is steadily finding a place among her teammates. Maybe Quidditch is where she belongs.

But with her home life and friend troubles quickly spinning out of control–Ellen must fight for the future that she wants, now she’s playing for keeps.

 

2021 Titles

 

This Is Not The Jess Show by Anna Carey (first in a series)

Like any other teenager, Jess Flynn is just trying to get through her junior year without drama … but drama seems to keep finding her. Between a new crush on her childhood best friend, overprotective parents cramping her social life, and her younger sister’s worsening health, the only constant is change–and her hometown of Swickley, which feels smaller by the day.

Swickley is getting weirder by the day, too. Half the population has been struck down by a mysterious flu. Conversations end awkwardly when Jess enters the room. And then one day, a tiny, sleek black device–with an apple logo on it–falls out of her best friend’s backpack and lands at Jess’s feet.

 

 

 

 

This Will Be Funny Someday by Katie Henry

A girl walks into a bar… then onto a stage, and up to the mic.

Sixteen-year-old Izzy is used to keeping her thoughts to herself—in school, where her boyfriend does the talking for her, and at home, where it’s impossible to compete with her older siblings and high-powered parents—but when she accidentally walks into a stand-up comedy club and performs, the experience is surprisingly cathartic. After the show, she meets Mo, an aspiring comic who’s everything Izzy’s not: bold, confident, comfortable in her skin. Mo invites Izzy to join her group of friends and introduces her to the Chicago open mic scene.

The only problem? Her new friends are college students—and Izzy tells them she’s one, too. Now Izzy, the dutiful daughter and model student, is sneaking out to perform stand-up with her comedy friends, and she can hardly remember all the lies she’s telling to keep her two lives separate.

Her controlling boyfriend is getting suspicious, and her former best friend knows there’s something going on. But Izzy loves comedy and this newfound freedom. As her two parallel lives collide—in the most hilarious of ways—Izzy must choose to either hide what she really wants and who she really is or, finally, truly stand up for herself.

 

This Poison Heart by Kalynn Bayron (June 29, first in a series)

Briseis has a gift: she can grow plants from tiny seeds to rich blooms with a single touch.

When Briseis’s aunt dies and wills her a dilapidated estate in rural New York, Bri and her parents decide to leave Brooklyn behind for the summer. Hopefully there, surrounded by plants and flowers, Bri will finally learn to control her gift. But their new home is sinister in ways they could never have imagined–it comes with a specific set of instructions, an old-school apothecary, and a walled garden filled with the deadliest botanicals in the world that can only be entered by those who share Bri’s unique family lineage.

When strangers begin to arrive on their doorstep, asking for tinctures and elixirs, Bri learns she has a surprising talent for creating them. One of the visitors is Marie, a mysterious young woman who Bri befriends, only to find that Marie is keeping dark secrets about the history of the estate and its surrounding community. There is more to Bri’s sudden inheritance than she could have imagined, and she is determined to uncover it . . . until a nefarious group comes after her in search of a rare and dangerous immortality elixir. Up against a centuries-old curse and the deadliest plant on earth, Bri must harness her gift to protect herself and her family.

 

This Golden Flame by Emily Victoria

Orphaned and forced to serve her country’s ruling group of scribes, Karis wants nothing more than to find her brother, long ago shipped away. But family bonds don’t matter to the Scriptorium, whose sole focus is unlocking the magic of an ancient automaton army.

In her search for her brother, Karis does the seemingly impossible—she awakens a hidden automaton. Intelligent, with a conscience of his own, Alix has no idea why he was made. Or why his father—their nation’s greatest traitor—once tried to destroy the automatons.

Suddenly, the Scriptorium isn’t just trying to control Karis; it’s hunting her. Together with Alix, Karis must find her brother…and the secret that’s held her country in its power for centuries.

 

 

 

This Can Never Be Real by Sera Milano

In the unremarkable town of Amberside, the unthinkable has happened: Terrorists have attacked a local festival. No one knows why, and no one knows who the attackers are, but that doesn’t matter. What matters first is survival. And what matters after that is survival, too.

In this brilliantly written account of hope, humour and humanity, five ordinary teenagers are caught up in a truly extraordinary situation. It’s a heart-pounding and gripping account of the fight for survival, told from multiple perspectives, as the attackers prowl the festival grounds.

 

 

 

 

 

This Is For Tonight by Jessica Patrick

When Andi attends a music festival with one goal in mind – capture an interview with a famous band so she can pay for college – she gets more than she bargained for in this YA novel about family ties and finding your own way.

Andi Kennedy needs to make money for college, and fast. But her little YouTube crafting channel, while fun, isn’t exactly a money maker. So she’s heading to the world-famous Cabazon Valley Music and Arts Festival with a goal – film a video that will launch her channel into popularity and turn it into a legit money making venture, even if it means selling out her creative vision.

Instead, she finds obnoxious Jay Bankar, the annoyingly hot host of a popular prank channel who is the actual worst. Andi hates everything Jay stands for, which makes the undeniable connection she feels with him really freaking inconvenient. Soon she finds herself competing with Jay for an interview with the festival’s headlining band, which could be the key to turning her little channel directly into college tuition. But she’s starting to discover that there is more to Jay than his jerky on-screen persona, and she has to decide what’s more important – winning, or giving a second chance to a guy who couldn’t be more wrong for her.

 

That Weekend by Kara Thomas (June 29)

Three best friends, a lake house, a secret trip – what could go wrong?

It was supposed to be the perfect prom weekend getaway. But it’s clear something terrible happened when Claire wakes up alone and bloodied on a hiking trail with no memory of the past forty-eight hours.

Three went up the mountain, but only one came back.

Now everyone wants answers – most of all, Claire. She remembers Friday night, but after that… nothing. And now Kat and Jesse – her best friends – are missing.

That weekend changes everything.

What happened on the mountain? And where are Kat and Jesse? Claire knows the answers are buried somewhere in her memory, but as she’s learning, everyone has secrets – even her best friends. And she’s pretty sure she’s not going to like what she remembers.

 

This Is Not a Ghost Story by Andrea Portes (November 17)

I am not welcome. Somehow I know that. Something doesn’t want me here.

Daffodil Franklin has plans for a quiet summer before her freshman year at college, and luckily, she’s found the job that can give her just that: housesitting a mansion for a wealthy couple.

But as the summer progresses and shadows lengthen, Daffodil comes to realize the house is more than it appears. The spacious home seems to close in on her, and as she takes the long road into town, she feels eyes on her the entire way, and something tugging her back.

What Daffodil doesn’t yet realize is that her job comes with a steep price. The house has a long-ago grudge it needs to settle . . . and Daffodil is the key to settling it.

 

 

That Way Madness Lies edited by Dahlia Adler

Fifteen acclaimed YA writers put their modern spin on William Shakespeare’s celebrated classics!

West Side Story. 10 Things I Hate About You. Kiss Me, Kate. Contemporary audiences have always craved reimaginings of Shakespeare’s most beloved works. Now, some of today’s best writers for teens take on the Bard in these 15 whip-smart and original retellings!

Contributors include Dahlia Adler (reimagining The Merchant of Venice), Kayla Ancrum (The Taming of the Shrew), Lily Anderson (As You Like It), Patrice Caldwell (Hamlet), Melissa Bashardoust (A Winter’s Tale), Amy Rose Capetta and Cori McCarthy (Much Ado About Nothing), Brittany Cavallaro (Sonnet 147), Joy McCullough (King Lear), Anna-Marie McLemore (A Midsummer Night’s Dream), Samantha Mabry (Macbeth), Tochi Onyebuchi (Coriolanus), Mark Oshiro (Twelfth Night), Lindsay Smith (Julius Caesar), Kiersten White (Romeo and Juliet), and Emily Wibberley and Austin Siegemund-Broka (The Tempest).

 

 

That Dark Infinity by Kate Pentecost (October 19)

By night, the Ankou is a legendary, permanently young mercenary. By day, a witch’s curse leaves him no more than bones. Caught in an unending cycle of death and resurrection, the Ankou wants only to find the death that has been prophesied for him, especially once he begins to rot while he’s still alive….

After the kingdom of Kaer-Ise is sacked, Flora, loyal handmaiden to the princess, is assaulted and left for dead. As the sole survivor of the massacre, Flora wants desperately to find the princess she served. When the Ankou agrees to help her find the princess, and to train her in exchange for her help in breaking his curse, she accepts. But how can she kill an immortal? Especially one whom she is slowly growing to understand—and maybe even to love?

Together, they will solve mysteries, battle monsters, break curses, and race not only against time, but against fate itself.

 

 

2022 Titles

These “This” or “That” book titles don’t have covers yet and some don’t yet have descriptions.

This Is Why They Hate Us by Aaron H. Aceves

An #OwnVoices YA debut for fans of Benjamin Alire Saenz, Adib Khorram, and Adam Silvera, THIS IS WHY THEY HATE US is the story of Enrique, a bisexual Latino from East L.A. who tries to fall out of love with his friend Saleem by pursuing his other crushes.

On his list of “pants-tightening” prospects is Manny, the “cholo-iest non-cholo” Enrique has known almost his entire life; Tyler, the white, pretty boy jock who’s just a little bit too into Hip-Hop; and Ziggy, the ultra-smart class president who more than takes after his dad (the Internet’s “Hot Doctor.”)

But despite all the encouragement and sage wisdom of his Afro-Latina best friend Fabiola (a fellow bi with her own romance in the works), Enrique must grapple with the fact that Saleem, as unobtainable as he is, might not be so easy to get over. And even if he did get over Saleem, he’d still have to come out to his religious parents and accept himself for who he is.

 

This May End Badly by Samantha Markum (April 12, 2022)

Pranking mastermind Doe and her motley band of Weston girls are determined to win the century-long war against Winfield Academy before the clock ticks down on their senior year. But when their headmistress announces that Weston will merge with its rival the following year, their longtime feud spirals into chaos.

To protect the school that has been her safe haven since her parents’ divorce, Doe puts together a plan to prove once and for all that Winfield boys and Weston girls just don’t mix, starting with a direct hit at Three, Winfield’s boy king and her nemesis. In a desperate move to win, Doe strikes a bargain with Three’s cousin, Wells: If he fake dates her to get under Three’s skin, she’ll help him get back his rightful family heirloom from Three.

As the pranks escalate, so do her feelings for her fake boyfriend, and Doe spins lie after lie to keep up her end of the deal. But when a teacher long suspected of inappropriate behavior messes with a younger Weston girl, Doe has to decide what’s more important: winning a rivalry, or joining forces to protect something far more critical than a prank war legacy.

This May End Badly is a story about friendship, falling in love, and crossing pretty much every line presented to you—and how to atone when you do.

 

This Place Is Still Beautiful by XiXi Tian (2022)

This Place Is Still Beautiful follows a pair of estranged sisters who, the HarperCollins imprint explained, “are forced to reunite in their small Midwestern town when their family becomes the victim of an anti-Asian hate crime.” There the sisters spend a summer clashing “as they navigate the ripple effects that the hate crime has had in their community and uncover the explosive truth behind the perpetrator’s identity.

 

This Might Get Awkward by Kara McDowell (March 1, 2022)

eventeen-year-old Gemma’s favorite kind of beach is an empty one. Social interactions are too much for her to handle. She always says the wrong thing—if she manages to say anything at all. She can’t even bring herself to speak to her longtime crush, Beau Booker, without losing sleep over her own awkwardness.

During a solo outing to her favorite beach, Gemma realizes—to her horror—that the popular kids from school have shown up to throw a party. Before she can sneak away (and possibly puke behind her car) Gemma is pulled into the action and ends up talking to Beau, who asks her to pretend that they’re “close.” Gemma is too flustered and flattered to refuse, and mostly, she’s wondering why Beau is talking to her at all . . . right up until the moment when he falls off the boat, hits his head, and ends up in a coma.

After rescuing Beau from the water, Gemma is mistaken for Beau’s girlfriend by his friends and family, including his mysterious older brother, Griff, who has returned to town after a year away. Gemma tries to correct the record, but her social anxiety (and a nosy reporter) gets in the way at every turn. Before she knows it, she’s in too deep to backtrack. And when Beau’s warm, boisterous family pulls Gemma into their orbit, she realizes how much she wants to keep them in her life.

For the first time, Gemma has everything she’s ever wanted: friends, big family dinners, and Griff—a boy who she can be herself around. But how can she embrace her new dream life when everything is built on a lie?

 

This Rebel Heart by Katherine Locke (2022, no description yet!)This Cursed Crown by Alexandra Overy (2022, second in a series, no description yet!)This Could Have Been a Love Story by Brandon Hoàng (2022, no description yet!)This Golden State by Marit Weisenberg (2022, no description yet!)

I Had a Baby! My Birth Story + Postpartum Experience

As you may or may not know, I just had a baby. While I have zero intentions of turning this blog into a lifestyle or parenting blog — plenty of people do that well and frankly, books are my expertise more than anything — one thing I found extremely useful while I was pregnant was reading birth and postpartum experiences on those blogs. I had a “rare” experience all around and wanted to share. 

“Rare” because really, it wasn’t rare, but not many people talk about these things. 

This will be a very medically detailed post, so be prepared if you’re squeamish about procedures or frank discussion of bodily functions and body parts. I very much let go of any shyness or reservations about my body early on in pregnancy, and I found reading honest accounts to be what helped me do that. 

A couple of other notes: I LOVED my hospital delivery, loved my OB and all of the on-call OBs who were there for my care (my OB was out of town the week I delivered and set me up in good hands), and absolutely loved the entire L&D nurse team. Folks who are local to me in the NW Chicago suburbs looking for good providers, I can wholeheartedly recommend them to you privately — I never felt disempowered, never felt belittled, and never felt like I wasn’t being given the best care possible. I was at a teaching hospital, and I had more than one student be part of the process. I know many folks are turned off by that, but  I really loved talking with them and learning about  what they wanted to do and being able to be a way for them to  learn. Given what COVID has done for education and hands-on learning in the medical field, it felt like a good thing I could do and help them become great professionals, too. 

The other thing is that neither my husband nor I needed to wear a mask while we were there. I took a COVID test Friday before going in for induction and it came back negative. My husband was fully vaccinated. We asked the nurses what their rules were and everyone said it was fine to go without around them or the doctors, but my husband should put one on when someone from food service or the cleaning staff came in and he did. I did not in any way expect this and had anticipated a long, miserable, mask-covered experience. I can only hope others get this experience because it made using breathing much easier. 

 

**

 

Most of my pregnancy wasn’t especially noteworthy. I had gestational diabetes, diagnosed at 17 weeks. Despite a great diet, that could not be controlled, so I went on insulin (for those unfamiliar, gestational diabetes can happen to any pregnant person, as it’s a problem with one’s placenta and how it processes sugars — it can lead to higher risk of diabetes 2 down the road, but most of the time, as in my case, it goes away immediately after birth). That, combined with my “advanced maternal age” meant my later weeks had more monitoring involved. This is a good thing. 

I taught yoga until week 33, and I stopped because it was getting really hard to do that. The reason was that I developed polyhydramnios — excess fluid — and I was getting uncomfortable and very, very large. I did not gain any weight in my pregnancy until those last few weeks, where it came fast and sudden because of the fluids. Even at my week 35 ultrasound, something I was having done monthly because of age and the diabetes, the technician kept talking about how much room the baby had because of fluids. But baby was also measuring in the 98th percentile on everything, from head to weight. 

It was also in week 35 when my OB sent me to the hospital L&D department during one of our regular weekly appointments. We couldn’t get a baseline read of baby’s heartbeat because she was so active and had so much room to move, thanks to the fluid. Going to the ER meant I got a lay of the land, met a couple of the nurses, and, frankly, they got a good sense of what my body and my baby were doing. Everything was fine with her and me, though it was clear my blood pressure was continuing to creep upward and my feet and ankles were swelling. Things noted, but not necessarily worried about. 

At week 36, I had two appointments with my OB. On Tuesday, the monitoring was going okay, but it was taking a long time to get a baseline read. The OB almost sent me to L&D again, but we eventually got a solid read and when she came back into the room, she did the group b swab, as well as a cervical check. It was very clear to both of us how uncomfortable I was physically because of all the fluid, my blood pressure was not going to its normal readings, and even though I was not dilated at all, she said she thought sending me to be induced on Sunday would be advisable. I’d be 37 weeks then, and she’d hinted at that being an ideal time for induction were that the route that seemed best by then, so it wasn’t surprising. The only downside was she’d be out of town for the week, so she wouldn’t be there for my delivery. She’d ensure I had the best care, though, since she was bummed she’d be gone (and frankly, I can’t be mad at someone who is a mom herself and took spring break week off to head to her parents’ house with her kids!). 

I went home and began not feeling good. My blood pressure had been high again, but not high enough to get me to the hospital. But Wednesday morning, I tested at home and it was so high, I took myself to L&D again to be monitored. I was there for a couple of hours, and everything settled down. I kept telling my husband and my mom that I got an actual good nap in while there, which was probably the best sleep I’d had in a month or so. 

Friday, I was back at my OB for our last appointment and she gave me the rundown of what to expect for Sunday’s induction. The basic takeaway was that getting from 0 to 4 centimeters dilated would be the long haul, and once I reached that point, we’d better know things like whether baby would fit in my pelvis — she had been measuring big — and go from there. The team was familiar with my history and ready for me. 

I went home, a friend came over to say hi one last time before baby came, and then I spent my Saturday cleaning the house top to bottom. I did not sleep at all on Saturday. 

 

Day One, Sunday

 

We went in at 7 am, got registered, and were taken to our labor and delivery room pretty quickly. There was paperwork to go over, as well as a reminder the first part of the induction could take a long time. “From hours to days” was what we were told, and it was what the OB had prepared me for, too. We got an IV set up in my right hand, which hurt like hell — and I’m someone who doesn’t flinch at needles, as you’ll see. It took a failed attempt in my left hand to get to the right one, where we had success getting a good vein. 

Induction began with cervadil, which is inserted behind your cervix to get the cervix to soften. Insertion was unpleasant, in part because of how high my cervix was. Like a tampon, it sits inside doing its magic, and after 12 hours, it’s taken out. I only remember one cervical check during that 12 hour time frame, and it was a minimal “almost 1 centimeter” measure. During this 12 hours, though, I could eat and move around, though going to the bathroom was painful from the medication. 

I was told once that was done, we’d begin pitocin, which would be alternated in how much would be fed through my IV. Once pitocin began, I wouldn’t be able to eat solid foods, just clear liquids, so I ate dinner that night anticipating a day until I could eat again (I was optimistic baby would arrive the next day). Once the cervadil time was up, I was checked, and I was still at “about 1 centimeter, with a softened cervix” but everyone was saying the pitocin drip would help get things moving. 

Once the pitocin began, though, I started having some miserable pains in my lower spine. I wasn’t laboring, so it shouldn’t have been that, and I kept wondering if it was the way I was positioned in the bed. I’d move, shift, adjust, and I’d still be in tremendous pain. The nurse kept encouraging me, telling me how amazing it was to see me move around and try different positions. I didn’t FEEL amazing, though — I felt like nothing I was doing would ease the pain. I ended up calling for help, and the nurse suggested a pain medication since it was clear I was miserable from it. They believed it was where the baby was sitting and putting pressure that was causing the pain (something we’d learn later on was correct). I was offered dilaudid and told that it would ease the pain and allow me a good sleep, so I took it. As soon as it was administered, the nurse said it was rare but sometimes people threw up and as soon as she said that, I asked for the vomit bag and threw up dinner. It was quick, and my pain immediately subsided and I got some great sleep. 

Throughout the night, I had a couple more doses of dilaudid as my pain returned, and nothing was anticipated to happen until morning, when I’d have my cervix checked again. My husband and I took it easy, knowing the next day might be a very long and taxing one. I did not get sick again because at that point, I had nothing in me except clear liquids. 

 

Day Two, Monday

A nurse came in on Monday morning and checked my cervix to find it was still only about 1 centimeter, even with pitocin all night. It had thinned out, but hadn’t opened, and baby was still as high up in my uterus as possible. 

The IV that had been inserted in my right hand? It was blown. My hand and arm had inflated to the size of a water balloon, and we had to now seek out a place elsewhere for an IV. The nurse had success on my left hand, got it set up, and I was back in business for the IV. When I told the staff my veins were….challenging…I think they didn’t believe me at first. But this would be the first in a series of vein stories to come, and it became clearer and clearer how challenging they were. 

An hour later or so, the OB came in and presented some options for getting things going. We could do another round of cervadil, a different vaginal medication that would potentially have the side effect of too many contractions too quick and impact the baby, or we could do a foley bulb. I was scared to death of the foley bulb, especially since I was given the heads up it could bring about a lot of discomfort and since I already had internal monitors, it seemed like a lot of things inside my body and being unable to easily get up and move around. Cervadil could end up with the same results as the day before, and while not a bad option, it could make things go longer. 

When I asked what she would do in this position and she said foley bulb, since it was guaranteed to get things going, I decided to do it. 

Everything moved really quickly at this point and I had asked for another round of dilaudid before it happened to ease the edge off. They gave it to me, and though it helped, I felt every single moment of the experience because, much like when I had my IUI done, it took not one, not two, but THREE speculums for the doctor before she decided she could not access my high cervix in any appropriate way to make the foley bulb happen. 

We tried, and we failed. The next step was to do cervadil again, and to up the pitocin in conjunction with it. The cervadil went in about 9:30 in the morning, meaning things would be looked at again in 12 hours or so.

At this point, I had not eaten since dinner the night before and that hadn’t stayed down. It was a long afternoon, wherein I told my husband anything with food on TV couldn’t be an option. I don’t remember what we ended up killing time with, but I was forever grateful he ate his meals in the cafe outside my room, rather than getting it delivered. I was unbelievably hungry, but at least Italian Ice was considered “clear liquids” and I could enjoy them without stopping. 

When my cervix was checked again, I had not progressed, even with the second cervadil and pitocin. The OB from that morning — she was the one filling in for my doctor, so she knew my case well — came in and presented another option. She wanted to get  me the epidural I’d said I wanted to get during labor, then break my water. This would mean that labor could progress quickly, and it would mean fewer cervical checks, as the risk for infection would be greater. I’d feel some immediate relief from the fluid being gone. 

The anesthesiologist was called in from home to get the epidural started, and at this point, my husband was asked to leave the room. It was the first time that happened because of all the procedures, it was one of the most likely to cause him to pass out. The doctor arrived and explained how the epidural worked, and the nurse talked me through it, too. But honestly? The needle in the spine was nothing compared to getting pricked for the IV, and it began to work near immediately. That horrific low back pain I had was gone, and my legs — which I could still feel and operate — felt more like they were just sleeping than anything. 

Once that was settled, the OB came in, loaded up absorbent pads beneath me, and broke my water. It was, as she said, one of the most amounts of fluid she’d ever seen, and it leaked for a very, very long time. But between the epidural and the fluid being released, I felt better than I had in a long time. I also had a catheter inserted, and at this point, I’d be pretty limited in movement outside of the bed until baby had arrived. I had plenty of laboring options and was not forced to stay on my back, which I know is a concern a lot of folks have about epidurals. 

We were back to a waiting game with the pitocin. 

 

Day Three, Tuesday

 

Early in the morning, I was having pain. A lot of pain, all in my left hip. It corresponded with each contraction, and I’d grip the bedrail, breathe through the pain, and then know I’d get another 5 to 10 minutes before the next contraction-pain cycle would come. 

It felt really hopeful, as contractions were coming faster than they had previously, wherein they’d been but blips on the scanner and nothing physically to me. The nurses were extremely helpful in helping me readjust and try laboring in different positions to counteract the pain. Nothing was cutting it, though, and the next afternoon, the nurses brought in a different anesthesiologist to redo the epidural. It was quite possible that the original wasn’t reaching that spot in my hip and redoing it could help. Again: it wasn’t a big deal, and I found myself in immediate relief after it was set. The pain in that hip subsided, and this time, they handed me the magic button to increase the epidural meds as I needed them. 

Tuesday was a lot of waiting and watching the monitors. I could see my contractions, which had become more obvious after the fluid was gone. I had another cervical check, and I had made it to four centimeters at this point. My cervix was pretty much thinned completely, though baby was still way high up at a -3. My blood pressure had dropped during both epidurals, though once the epidural settled in, it would go back up to being high. The IVs were a mixture of pitocin and antibiotics, since I was group b positive, and the nurses were joking with me about how most GBS positive folks only get a few doses of antibiotics before they have the baby and I was going on bag 8 or 9 at that point, so after birth — something we all thought would happen that day — I’d want to eat a lot of yogurt. A cervical check later in the afternoon revealed that I’d managed to dilate to 6 centimeters, which was an incredible relief. Baby was still high, but this time at about a -2, and laboring on my hands and knees was feeling pretty good (note: a cervical check in that position would likely make a lot of folks Very Uncomfortable, but as I mentioned earlier, my sense of caring was long gone — I was hardly wearing my gown anyway because everyone’s been everywhere with my permission, and frankly, it was more work than necessary). 

My night nurse on Tuesday was who everyone called the one who got things done when it came to labor. She was this incredible woman who had a ton of laboring positions that weren’t common, and because the epidural finally killed most of that left hip pain — though not all of it — moving around wasn’t too bad. My pitocin was not increased, as had been the plan, as the OB on duty now wasn’t the one covering for mine, but a new OB, who was less aggressive than either mine or the one covering mine was. The nurse explained that the difference in dosage wouldn’t make a huge difference anyway at this point, especially as it seemed like things were now progressing well. 

I was mentally prepared to begin pushing that night. 

A few hours into the evening, the nurse checked me again and I was at 7 centimeters, completely thinned, but with baby still at a -2. The magical nurse didn’t have any other innovative laboring methods, but she was encouraging and said all of this was great news. The work I’d done in the positions to that point should encourage baby downward, so keep being positive about it. Baby would be here soon.

It had now been two days since I’d eaten anything, and even though Italian Ice had been great at first, I know I wasn’t hydrating much at all or doing anything but Being Miserable. I kept closing my eyes, practicing breathing, and mentally envisioning what the physical process of birthing a human would be like. 

 

Day Four, Wednesday, Part One

The magical nurse came in early to discover that the IV in my left hand had been blown. That hand and arm were now the size of water balloons to match my right hand and arm. She’s come in to check my cervix — still what it was the night before — and to deliver the suggestion of the OB on duty of considering a c-section because baby was not going to drop any lower in my body. 

I wasn’t scared of this happening. I know many folks dread the idea of a c-section, but I had gone in with no plan other than seeking pain relief, and I asked the nurse to tell me about her experiences getting them. She had two — one in the US and one in Ghana, where she was from — and she was a gift in talking about how being a bigger woman actually made the entire thing easier for recovery, she thought. That pep talk was precisely what I needed, and shortly after, the OB came in to talk with me about the procedure. She thought after being at the hospital for four days and baby not dropping, it was safest and smartest for both of us. I asked if it’d happen that morning, and she said it would. 

But before my first-ever surgery, there was something else to tackle: my veins.

After busting two IVs, the big guns were called in. A whole team from anesthesia came in with a sonogram and spent over an hour looking at the veins in my arms, trying to find a place to stick a new IV. An hour! They found one, and it didn’t take. They found another, and it took. 

(Side note in this story: one of the team members shared her name with my to-be-born daughter. It’s not a common name, and when I told her about it, she was elated — apparently coincidences like that are her favorite thing, and she loved being in the operating room and meeting the baby who shared her name). 

But because I was high risk for a potential blood transfusion with the c-section — I was diagnosed as anemic the prior week! — they wanted a second potential port in the event of such an emergency. 

They found one, but it was not a great one. In went the second IV, and also in came someone from the hospital’s ICU unit. She brought a sonogram machine as well, and I had a midline catheter put into my left arm, alongside those two other IVs. This ended up being the best tool they used for the IVs down the road. 

My left arm had three places for fluids and emergency access, which is pretty horrifying and pretty badass to think about. 

The nurse did a quick shave of where I’d have my incision, I had my spinal put in (which actually made feeling in my entire lower body disappear, which is a wild feeling!), and drank the anti-nausea medication. I remember very little between the time of those things happening and being wheeled back into the operating room, other than my husband had to wait outside the OR until I was completely prepped. But the number of people in the OR was incredible: there was the on-call doctor doing the procedure, the OB who was covering for my OB, a slew of nurses for me, nurses and doctors for the baby, as well as anesthesiology, who sat at my head to keep an eye on me. I remember asking if I should let go of trying to feel any sensation in my legs and everyone kept saying YES, it’s okay to let go, and that was the permission slip I hadn’t realized I needed. 

I heard the doctor say when the first incision happened, then a few minutes later the cry of my baby, my husband being asked if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord, and her being brought to my face to see. I’d insisted on not having photos taken because I hadn’t showered or cleaned myself in four days and I knew I looked like garbage, but no one would listen to me and . . . I’m glad. I am so glad they took some photos because I love it. It’s a memory of all the hard work to get to that point.

 

Look at my hand!

When baby was taken to get her testing done, I asked the anesthesiologist how much longer it’d be until they were done with the surgery and he said it was just about over. Less than give minutes later, they finished up, using a really slick negative pressure wound vac that kept the incision moisture-free, so I didn’t have to do any work to help the incision heal. I was wheeled back to my room when it was clear that I had lost minimal blood and did not need a transfusion, and my husband and I were able to be with our baby for about two hours before we were transferred to the postpartum wing of the floor. 

And all of that low back and left hip pain?

It was because of where the baby was positioned, which the OB told me as soon as she started to pull the baby out.

“Were you saying it was your left hip that was bad? Guess where the baby was!”

 

Day Four, Wednesday, Part Two

It was mid-afternoon when they had us in postpartum, and from the moment we were transferred, I was. . . off. I chalked it up to a lot of things, primarily being in a much smaller room, to people coming to poke and prod me and the baby over and over, to coming off a major surgery and the pain meds tapering. I’d just had a baby! I hadn’t eaten in days! I was learning how to breastfeed! 

They gave me the all clear to eat pretty quickly, and I ordered the pancakes I’d been talking about getting for days. They were amazing — and not just because I was so hungry. The hospital had great food and the pancakes were no exception. 

The magical nurse was back for work and was assigned to me again for that night, and I was so thrilled to see her again. She was bummed she wasn’t there for my c-section, but said she was glad she still got to see me with baby after all of that. She asked if I was ready to get my legs moving off the side of the bed — only about 3 hours after the surgery — and not only did I do that, she asked if I thought I could stand and I did. She and everyone kept saying they couldn’t believe how strong my legs were while on the epidural or immediately after. I didn’t stand long because, well, when you have a c-section and don’t know what to expect, it feels like your organs might fall out of you when you get up. 

It wasn’t too much later, though, when they got me in a binder (which I ended up hating immensely more than the feeling of my organs falling out, as it kept rubbing on my incisions, no matter how many different ways it was put on me) and I was out of bed, free of my catheter, and enjoying food on the recovery room chair. 

Everything seemed good and well. 

But then it wasn’t.

 

Day Five, Thursday

My blood pressure would not regulate. It kept going up and up. It did not matter how much I “relaxed.” I was getting readings in the high 160s and 170s, and finally, the new OB on duty told the nurse to readmit me to L&D. I had preeclampsia. 

Early and often, my medical team told me that preeclampsia can happen AFTER birth. This isn’t talked about much, if at all, so while I was upset, crying, worried, and scared — nothing shakes you more than being told you could have a stroke and die immediately after you had a baby! — I was not entirely blindsided by this being a thing that happens. 

If I was lucky, I’d be released Friday. For now, I’d be on a magnesium drip and should be prepared to be very weak and tired. The plan was to get my blood pressure under control through as many means as possible. 

Four days of being in L&D meant that….I was at the hospital for four days before even having the baby, and we’d gotten to know the nurses well. As I was wheeled back over, one of the nurses even asked if she could give me a hug because it was such an unfair lot I’d drawn between the lengthy induction, the c-section, and now the preeclampsia. I took it and it meant the world. 

From there, I had my blood taken and a urine sample taken via a catheter (perhaps the WORST pain I’d experienced through it all was this because remember, now I am on no pain relievers). I was supposed to be on bedrest but because I was getting around well, they decided to let me have freedom to use the bathroom on my own, which I deeply appreciated. I couldn’t lie in a bed all day any longer. 

I remember little of Thursday except the worries of everyone around me. I was very weak. The magnesium made me so loopy. And no matter what, the damn blood pressure monitor kept beeping warnings of how high the number was. Over and over. All afternoon and all evening. I hadn’t cried until this, and I spent most of Thursday crying (& being unbelievably grateful my husband could feed baby, even though I was trying to nurse, too). 

 

Day Six, Friday

One thing that did make me laugh, though, was late Thursday night or early Friday morning, the nurse who was helping me said that my doctor would be back on call and would get a surprise in seeing me still. So when she walked in Friday morning and we got to talk about the experience so far, it was really mentally helpful. My blood pressure had not gotten better, and we’d continue to try new combinations of medication with the IV fluids to see what would get it to regulate. 

She chose to do this aggressively, adding three medications to my lineup. 

Friday I again remember little of. I do know at one point the lactation consultant came in, and I was so tired and drained, I told her I appreciated her and wanted to learn to nurse, but I was too tired and could not stay awake so I’d be going to sleep instead. I know she talked with my husband, as I told him how bad I felt about it the next day and he said she’d said she wasn’t mad at all (& hoped I’d gotten some good sleep after all of that). 

I haven’t mentioned the fact that I hadn’t showered yet, either. I took a shower on Saturday night before going to the hospital, but not since. Why? 

The midline catheter. 

Indeed, while I did not end up blowing the other IVs in my left arm, it became clear that the midline was actually the best tool for my IVs at this point. This was something I couldn’t get wet and because of where it wass, I couldn’t easily navigate a shower anyway. I could get up and move around, but beyond that, I spent a lot of time eating (so happy to do so and also not to be restricted by gestational diabetes!) and watching bad television. My blood pressure alarm kept going off because things weren’t getting better. 

It became clear early we weren’t going home on Friday and Saturday was unlikely, too. 

During all of this, baby was with us the entire time. This made it so much easier mentally, as both my husband and baby could be there with me. I can only imagine had we been discharged and I came back with high blood pressure, just how much of a challenge that’d be for lowering it. 

 

Day Seven, Saturday

Early Saturday morning, one of the nurses suggested another medication, which my doctor approved. Between the cocktail of meds, resting, and having  the help of my mom to watch the baby while my husband went home to take care of some things — I was probably at the only hospital during COVID that allowed a guest on top of a support person, for which I cannot express relief or gratitude enough for! — my blood pressure finally began to lower into more acceptable 150s numbers. 

That’s still high, but not preeclampsia high. 

My doctor checked on me and decided I could get off the magnesium. 

Saturday was a lot of falling asleep, a lot of recovering, and the periodic blood pressure alarm. But my husband got some much-needed rest, and my mom got to spend time with her granddaughter, even though I felt completely zonked. 

We ate, we watched bad TV, we slept. 

If there’s something a week in the hospital teaches you quickly, it’s that there’s a lot of monotony in the hospital life. 

 

Day Eight, Sunday

I sat in the chair in my room at 4:30 in the morning with the hospital breast pump when my doctor walked in a few minutes later. She checked my incision, then took my blood pressure.

It had fallen into the 130s.

She told me today was the day I got to go home, that I’d be so much happier and capable of recovering there than in the hospital, and that she’d begin the discharge papers later that morning. I’d still need to take all of those meds for a while and I’d need to see her in her office in two days, but I was thrilled to wake up my husband and tell him. 

The morning flew by as we packed up our things, as well as mentally prepared for going home. I needed to figure out how to navigate my wound and a new baby, as well as taking so many medications. We needed to figure out how the animals would respond to the new little human. How would WE respond to the new little human without people to help us?

We were discharged in the late morning, wherein we made our way home and into the unknown. 

 

So then what?

I visited my doctor two days later, and she kept me on my meds. My blood pressure was a perfect 120/70, but she wanted to ensue it stayed that way. We had an appointment scheduled for a week later, wherein my blood pressure went too low, so I was taken off the big medication and am now, three weeks later, just on the one the nurse had suggested. That’ll come to an end before long, too. 

I’m unable to really comprehend a week of my life being gone and all that I went through physically, mentally, and emotionally to give birth, let alone the postpartum experience of being so sick and not realizing it. And I’ve come to learn from so many others that this experience isn’t as uncommon as it seems — it’s just not talked about much and it’s severely misunderstood. The symptoms of postpartum preeclampsia are not weird ones, and they’re easy to brush off. I’d even told my doctor on Sunday that I THOUGHT I felt fine, even though when I did start to feel good, it was clear how sick I had really been. It just didn’t feel like it because of everything that happened with birth prior. 

But I’m happy to be home, happy to have such a supportive husband (who was active and involved in every step of this!), and to have a happy, chill baby. I’m hopeful this can be helpful to someone reading it, even if it’s to raise awareness of how long induction can take, how you’re not a failure if you have a c-section — I’m not sad about mine at all! –, or even the realities of postpartum preeclampsia. I’m unbelievably grateful for the healthcare team who took care of me and who were really and truly the best team of folks with incredible bedside manners. I read and heard a lot of horror stories and even though what happened was terrifying, it was never a bad story. 

As I told the floor manager over and over, my birth experience was hard, but it wasn’t horrible. It was the treatment of me as a complex, fully human being which made me trust I’d get through it and get better. 

It could have too easily been the case that it’d be horrible and hard. 

And of course…

Here are the first books I read to the baby after she got home: