Charlotte Eriksson's Blog, page 35
December 26, 2022
It’s the way I thought my restless wandering was over, that I’d...
It’s the way I thought my restless wandering was over, that I’d found whatever I thought I had found, or wanted, or needed, and I started to collect my belongings. Build a home. Safe behind the comfort of these four walls and a closed door.
Because as much as I tried or pretended or imagined myself as a part of all the people out there,
I was still the one locking the door every night.
Turning off the phone and blowing out the candles so no one knew I was home.
’cause I was never really well around the expectations of my personality
and I wanted to keep to myself.
and because I haven’t been very impressed lately.
By people,
or places.
Or the way someone said he loved me and then slowly changed his mind.
// from my book of travel diaries Another Vagabond Lost To Love ☾ Download a free digital version of the book here ♡
December 24, 2022
brok3np4radise:
Travel and tell no one. Live a true love ...
Travel and tell no one. Live a true love story and tell no one. Live happily and tell no one. People ruin beautiful things.
Khalil Gibran
December 16, 2022
theglasschild:When all my accounts are gone and I fall from...
When all my accounts are gone and I fall from earth, this is what I want you to remember from me:
At the end of your days, what will you care about?
You will care about the long hikes by the cliffs, by the ocean, a Sunday afternoon in November. Alone, lonely as could be, so lonely you cried a little but you did it, you did it anyway,
you did not sit and wait for someone to appear
magically
like you waited for so many years
you went and lived life anyway and you will be glad you did.
at the end of your days, will you care about the money? will you care about the lack of money?
Not as much as how you spent it. Did you spend it all? Good. I hope you did. I hope you spent it good
on midnight taxis and books and satin dresses
and I hope you went on some dates
with quiet boys who never seemed to wonder about a lot. they nod and smile and talk about nothing in particular
and at the end of your days, will you care about the numbers? the books sold, the plays on Spotify, the bank statement?
No you will not.
You will care about the first time you stared into someone’s eyes, seeing all the possible ways this can go and you will care about jumping head in, fearless, ready to feel every emotion to the fullest
without holding on to any of it
and when it’s time
you will care about how well you let go. how gracefully you let go. how fast you let go.
theglasschild:First they told me: “build a following and the industry will follow.”So I spent my...
First they told me: “build a following and the industry will follow.”
So I spent my entire 20s building a following on zero budget, getting by on donations.
Then they told me: “You need a literary agent. But a literary agent wants to see you have a following and something big going on.”
So I started my own small press and self published 5 books and spent day and night connecting with my people until I’d sold over 35,000 copies in 35 different countries
and now they tell me: “no agent wants to work with a self published author.”
Sometimes I feel like I was doomed from the very start, the very day I sat my food on that plane to London 12 years ago. Like the whole world keeps saying “you can fight all you want but we won’t let you in.”
But I do have freedom and I do have my following and I have vulnerable souls writing to me on Friday nights, about loss and hope and how my books or music or words played a small part in something they went through and sometimes I think I would throw all that away just to have a literary agent and a management and the contracts and headlines… because I’m tired.. of always fighting uphill.. but then I get that message, on a Monday night, and I take my computer to a bar close to where I live in Berlin, high above the city, and I write like never before because I have my people and vulnerable souls to find and I have so many books in me and time is not endless, time is crucial, and lately I’ve felt it running out, some nights, so I’m writing another book that won’t be noticed by the agents but I have my people and that’s all I will care about from now on. My people and my freedom, with time running out. That’s what I will focus on.
theglasschild:“No matter what, he loved me some days. I’m sure...
“No matter what, he loved me some days. I’m sure he did. At least now I love myself, and I don’t think I would if he still loved me.
I don’t think I would love myself if I still loved him.”
The 5th book from Swedish songwriter & author, Charlotte Eriksson, is a meditation on cold love, told from every angle. That kind of love that rips your heart out a little to rearrange it and make something new of it.
the-g-m:creating is so fun and rewarding and i hate doing it
creating is so fun and rewarding and i hate doing it
lesbianboyfriend:
lesbianboyfriend:
they should invent a ...
they should invent a loneliness that’s bearable
alternatively, they should invent a loneliness that i don’t have to bear
December 14, 2022
"Dear world, I am excited to be alive in you, and I am thankful for another year."
- Charlotte Eriksson, Everything Changed When I Forgave Myself
