Colin G. Smith's Blog, page 7
August 7, 2013
Stay Young With A Daily Dose Of Laugher
If you are suffering from worry, or some kind of anxiety, you should try laughter. Research has proven again and again that those who laugh a lot are often healthier and experience better moods. A daily dose of laughter helps the blood circulation and reduces the risk of heart disease but many of us forget that laughter also keeps us young! Therefore if you want to stay young, laugh more.
Laughter helps exercise a number of muscles. Right from your face down to the abdomen, through your shoulders, a number of muscles experience physical release. The more heartily you laugh, the better the effect, which adds to increased blood circulation in all these parts of the body. Due to this, your skin will look better. Since laughter exercises face muscles the most, your face will look brighter and younger than before. You know that people who don’t laugh very often tend to look older than their age. The opposite is also true; People who laugh a lot look much younger.
We all know being young is not only about having a fit body but also about having a healthy and fresh mind. Remember laughter helps you to release stress and emotional pain. When we laugh, the stress hormone levels are reduced and therefore the overall pain goes down. Our immune system also gets a boost.
The research is in that even if we forcibly smile or laugh without any reason, our brain assumes it is a sign of happiness and causes the same positive effect on our health that it would have it had been genuine joy. Therefore in times of strife, laughter is the best medicine. And let’s not forget: It’s completely free!
Humour and laughter are undoubtedly one of the best ways to stay naturally young and enjoy life. Therefore, take some time out each day and laugh as much as possible. The benefits that come with laughter are numerous and are always effective. So keep laughing, stay healthy and enjoy life more!
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July 25, 2013
Improving Communication Skills – Tips For Face-To-Face Communication
Interpersonal skills are very important to everyone because we have to interact with other people throughout life both professionally and socially. Trust and understanding form the basis of good relationships. Here are few things to keep in mind to maintain good communication:
Eye Contact: The first thing you should do is maintain good eye contact. Speaking or listening, keeping eye contact creates more trust and allows you to speak more confidently.
Body Language: The non-verbal component of communication helps you convey the overall message you are trying to get across. Speak with a smile on your face and with expressions matching your tone.
Listen First: To become better at communicating, the most important quality you can develop is the skill of listening. If you are a good listener you will understand the other person better and be able to convey your message better.
Few people possess high level communication skills. To improve or develop effective communication skills you need to evaluate where you’re currently at and follow some simple tips:
Before interacting with anyone you should also sharpen your sense of observation. This helps you understand the experience of the other person.
The process of developing good communication skills also involves the process of self improvement.
Ask for the other person’s opinions and suggestions and listen carefully. Value the points of view of other people.
Take your time. Being patient is an excellent quality to develop for improved relationships. Wait for the correct time to speak and do not be in a hurry.
If you are patient you will not make any mistakes in conveying your message or expressing yourself to your audience.
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Before communicating we should keep in mind that everyone has a unique nature. Communicating with others is not just talking to them. By practicing our listening skills we can learn to understand and respond to others better. There are many other benefits to good communication skills that can help us gain a better position in life. So follow a few simple tips and tricks to improve your skills and learn to communicate more effectively.
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July 11, 2013
Effective Meditation Tips For Beginners
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Meditation has become more and more popular over the years because it is a proven way of reducing stress, reaching deep levels of relaxation and can provide you with a deeper sense of well-being. Although basic meditation is quite simple it can be useful to know certain tips and tricks so you can learn how to meditate more effectively…
Relax Your Body First
Our body often suffers from tension and aches from the stresses of the day. So it’s a good idea to de-stress your body before meditating:
Go for a 15 minute walk in nature. Very simple and can work wonders!
Practice the incredibly simple Corpse Posture from the world of Yoga. Lay down on your back, spread your arms and legs out to a comfortable Starfish position and simply relax. Feel the pull of gravity.
Simple sit in a comfortable position and begin to breath a little more deeply. Just sit with your breath for several minutes and notice yourself relaxing more.
Meditation Sounds
Certain music and sounds have an instant and powerful effect on our state of mind. By listening to meditation sounds we can relax our mind down into the lower brainwaves:
Matt Coldrick – Music For A Busy Head:
“Music For A Busy Head comprises seven works, each piece is written in a key that resonates with one of the main chakras or energy centres of the body. So, by listening to the album from start to finish the listener is given a subtle sonic massage. All the tempos on Music For a Busy Head are below 65 beats per minute, the average heart rate at rest. This will help draw the listener towards semi-consciousness where much of the body’s best self-healing work takes place.”
White, Pink & Brown Noise Generator:
http://www.simplynoise.com
“White Noise – Contains sound across all frequencies. White noise is the most effective at blocking distractions because it covers the largest spectrum range.”
Silva Method Centering Exercise (Starts at 4:25):
“Just press play and relax as the meticulously engineered sounds of the Centering Exercise guide your brainwaves into a deeper state of consciousness known as the Alpha Level. Your brain automatically enters this level as you fall asleep, but achieving it while conscious puts you in a blissful state where stress melts away, intuition and creativity peak, and physical and emotional healing are accelerated.”
Meditation Visualisations
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Visualising automatically lowers our brainwaves down into the Alpha level. So if you want to enter deeper levels of meditation it’s a good idea to do some visualising:
Golden Light
Imagine you are surrounded by glowing golden light. Maybe you can imagine yourself melting into this golden glow!
Hot Tub
Most people enjoy relaxing in a bath. Imagine you are in a one of those hot tubs with a bubble generator. Feel the warmth all the way up to your neck.
Beautiful Earth
Imagine you’re in the most beautiful summer garden. Or imagine you are next to a tranquil waterfall. Or how about sitting next to a majestic mountain lake.
By following these simple meditation tips you will be able to enhance your meditation sessions and enter deeper levels of mind more easily, more quickly. Meditating regularly is one of the best and free things you can do for your health and well-being, so why not give it a go today!
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July 6, 2013
The Basic Fears In Life And How To Overcome Them
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What will you do if you become poor? How can anyone criticise you for doing something right? What will happen if you get sick and die? Being alone, old and ridiculed portray the picture of the fundamental fears in a person’s life. The fears of human beings are nothing more than states of mind. Fears prevail as a restless emotion caused by the anticipation of some illusion or experience.
However, all forms of fear are generated by the combination of some of the basic fears which everyone faces in their lives:
The Fear of Freedom or Lack Of
The fear of ‘freedom’ is one of those fears which exist within everyone. Nobody wishes to be controlled by anyone else. This fear exists among those who are supervised by others, those who cannot experience their life and activities in their own way, as well as those who are constrained to some specific boundaries.
The Fear of The Unknown
The fear of the unknown is one of the most common fundamental fears which exist within every child and adult. Many people have fear of strangers or about new places they visit. We can become afraid to make a decision because we lack knowledge and not knowing the consequences beforehand.
The Fear of Failure
The fear of failure is one of the fundamental fears that hold people back in life. You may fear failure in your relationships, doing your job or you might fail by not achieving what you wish for and so on. This fear is mostly the driving force which makes you perform or avoid any activity.
The Fear of Rejection
The fear of rejection, or ridicule which is closely related, are one of those fears which affect your self-esteem. Being rejected discourages you from sharing your ideas or propositioning someone. The fear of ridicule is generated when a child is bullied; a dull person is mocked; a useless and reckless person is teased and so on.
The Fear of Death
When we talk about the fundamental fears, then the fear of death comes the first. Life seems most precious to everyone. However, everybody knows that death will come to every living being. The fear of ceasing to exist can make you unable to enjoy life and the precious moments that you have.
In short, there is no end to the fears of human beings. They will keep existing and changing forms until and unless controlled in their earliest stages. If not controlled, they will ruin your life by making you feel hopeless and miserable. So, stand up and control your fundamental fears before they control you!
Here’s some good, simple advice from Tony for overcoming your fears:
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June 25, 2013
Simple Anxiety Management Techniques
When someone goes through any type of stressful situation, their body undergoes a certain state which allows them to be highly efficient for self-protection. The sympathetic nervous system’s fight or flight response is an important aspect of our natural self defence system.
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So what types of situations can trigger the fight or flight response symptoms? Actually it may be anything that your mind is not conditioned to handle, for instance, a killer has pointed a gun at your head, or someone is going to attack with some kind of weapon, or you may find a dangerous animal, such as tiger or snake in front of you. Whatever dangerous or life-threatening situation there is humans are conditioned to either fight with the situation or to run away as quickly as possible. That’s how it has got the name; fight or flight response.
The situations that can trigger the fight or flight response symptoms are not limited to being real or actual danger. In the case of anxiety disorders, these threats are just imaginary. In these circumstances, our body sets off adrenaline which results in harrowing emotional and physical symptoms. As a consequence, a person starts fearing another dreadful experience called panic attack. The fear caused by this situation is called anticipatory anxiety, which often results in a never-ending cycle of fear and anxiety.
What exactly causes the fight or flight response?
Our midbrain (locus coeruleus and periaqueductal grey) and amygdala are particularly associated with anxiety and survival mechanisms. There are certain theories that state the interaction between the midbrain and amygdale can cause misinterpretations of various signals, which results in a panic attack.
Actually the whole process starts with stimulating the locus coeruleus by novel stimulus, which enhances the person’s alertness and sensitivity. These signals then reach our amygdale, which is in charge of our memory. This is one of the most common reasons a person’s memory get’s filled with terrifying and unpleasant experiences. These memories make the person believe that these perceived threats are something real, which often results in panic attack.
How to manage the fight or flight response
When you are in states of fear and anxiety most of your neural activity is in the left brain. If you can switch on the right brain hemisphere the stress response will be reduced. One of the easiest ways to do this is to become aware of the body.
Your Big Toe Joe!
You find yourself feeling stressed, anxious, worried, fearful or panicky.
Begin to notice the feeling in your left big toe. Just notice how it feels.
Now notice the feeling of your foot.
Gradually move up your body noticing the sensations in the different parts of your body.
Within 90 seconds your fearful feelings will have subsided!
If you practice this simple technique whenever you start feeling anxiety you can learn to stop it in it’s tracks. It only takes 90 seconds for this switching to occur!
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June 17, 2013
Emotional Management: Positive Emotions On Tap
The EFT Tapping Technique has become very popular in recent years. It’s simple to do and it’s especially useful for reducing stress quickly. There’s a lot more you can do with tapping though. One of the things that’s not talked about so much is using EFT for boosting resource states.
This is quite simply achieved. Decide what resourceful state of mind you want to be in and then tap that in. Let’s say you were working on a project and you could do with more creativity. Using the SUE scale notice where you currently are with regards to your feeling of creativity. i.e.) 3 out of 10.
You would now use the reminder phrase of “creativity” and start doing rounds of energy tapping for “creativity.” Check where you are on the SUE scale after each round of tapping and intend to get to +10!
It’s surprising how quickly you start to feel more of the desired state after just a few minutes of tapping. You can also test some of the following tips for improving your results:
Word Magic
Have a look in a Dictionary / Thesaurus for synonyms of the state you want to boost. i.e.) Creativity
Definition: artistry
Synonyms: cleverness, genius, imagination, imaginativeness, ingenuity, inspiration, inventiveness, originality, resourcefulness, talent, vision
One of these words may be more potent to you, like ‘genius,’ and therefore gets a better result.
Archetypal Imagery
This type of imagery is deeply ingrained in the human psyche and the symbology is understood universally.
Picturing archetypal imagery while you tap can evoke it’s power within you. Examples include; the milky way, the sun rising, a Unicorn, a dragon, an Excalibur sword rising from the water etc.
Wonderful Words
You can make the feeling more powerful by adding an adverb before the state you want more of. e.g.) Creativity becomes, “REALLY creative!” or “AMAZINGLY creative.”
If you want to take more responsibility for your states of mind, EFT, used in the right way, can be a simple and effective method for shifting states of consciousness. The Energy EFT Tapping Technique is a remarkably simple method that gets good results. So why not give it a go today?
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June 10, 2013
How To Be Kinder To Yourself With One Simple Principle
There is a principle that is commonly used by therapists and coaches known as; Positive Intention. It’s a special way of looking at the world observing that all behaviour serves (or at one time served) a positive purpose. You’re probably already familiar with it. An example could be the positive intention behind a person’s aggressive behaviour. From their point of view that behaviour could be derived from the positive intention of protection.
The point is acting as if this principle is true can help you live a more satisfying life. Have you ever had the experience where you wanted to do some work or activity but a part of you began objecting and got in your way?
Most people experience different parts of themselves. e.g.) “Part of me wants to do XYZ, but another part of me says no it’s stupid let’s not bother.”
These aspects of our psyche can sabotage our efforts. But what would happen if we were to take a look at these ‘sabotaging parts’ through the lens of positive intention?
When you allow yourself to become aware of one of your aspects you can have a little conversation with it. So if you had a part that said, “no it’s stupid let’s not bother,” you could ask the following kinds of questions to uncover the positive intention:
“What purpose are you serving?”
“What goal are you trying to achieve for me?”
“What is your positive intention?”
If you’ve never tried this before you’ll find it can be pleasantly surprising. Sometimes you might have to ask the question a few times to get a positive response.
Following along with the example, that particular aspects response could be something such as:
“I don’t want you to waste your time and effort.”
“I don’t want you to make a fool of yourself.”
“I’m trying to protect you from making a mistake!”
This is fairly simple stuff right? And it’s actually quite profound if you practice the principle until it becomes a habit. It means all aspects of you, no matter how seemingly destructive, are actually on your side. They have your best interests at heart. By communicating with these parts of the psyche, keeping positive intention in mind, we can begin to integrate these aspects into our whole being.
Using this principle is an act of kindness that will enable you to become more whole. It will enable you to feel more integrated and congruent as a person. So if you ever find yourself, ‘beating yourself up,’ give this principle a go and see what new insights you can learn about yourself.
Recommended Further Reading:
Bringing Light Into The Darkness: The Principle of Positive Intention
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May 22, 2013
Overcoming Limitation With The Wisdom Of Your Body
When we are working to achieve our goals or thinking about starting something new, we sometimes get hindered by feelings of limitation. These conceptions are often just our imagination putting limits on our capabilities. I came across the following interesting technique for removing feelings of limitation in Fran Burgess’s, “The NLP Cookbook.” The ‘Push and Pull’ method was invented by Hypnotherapist Steve Gilligan. It takes the somatic expression of a limiting emotion and makes use of ‘the wisdom of the hands’ to find resolution.
The Push And Pull Technique
1. Think of something you know you want to be, yet are holding back from becoming. You know you have it within you, yet there is something stopping you.
How Successful do you feel you can be? (1 low – 10 high)
2. Be aware of what it is you want. Devise a movement with your hands that somehow encapsulates this sense of what you want to be. Just allow your hands and arms to move as they will. Avoid being too literal. The movement might even involve your whole body. Work on this movement until it completely fits with what you desire about this possible future.
*Remind your explorer to trust their body to come up with the answers. This is not a thinking exercise.
3. Now consider what might be holding you back. As you become aware of this, once more let your hands and arms move in a way that describes this limiting feature. It’s worth remembering that a limitation is usually present as a way of keeping you safe.
4. Once you have both movements appropriately practised, perform the first one and then the second one, and then return to the first one again. And so on.
5. Soon a new movement will emerge that is a combination of both of them. Let this new movement evolve and take a firm hold, so that you can fully sense the wisdom that is being expressed through your hands and your body.
6. Once you are satisfied, ask yourself:
How successful do you feel you can be? (1 low – 10 high)
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If you go through the exercise you will experience an interesting shift in your perceptions through the movement of your hands and body. It’s a different way of creating change by using somatic expression rather than the more commonly used verbal or linguistic approach.
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May 15, 2013
Healing Meditation – Buddhist Tonglen Practice
Tonglen Meditation, which means ‘Taking & Giving’ in Tibetan, is a special healing practice, with an emphasis on the breath. Tonglen Meditation enables a person to TAKE in the ‘negative’ aspects or energies of life, transform this energy into a useful purpose (destroying one’s selfish ego) and then GIVE OUT positive healing energy.
The origins of this method go right back to Buddha Shakyamuni and were originally taught from Master to Student.
Kadampa master Langri Tangpa (1054-1123) first wrote down the instructions for this Buddhist meditation technique and Geshe Chekawa Yeshe Dorje (1101-1175) summarized and popularised the method in his ‘Seven Points of Training the Mind.’
Of course you don’t need to be a Buddhist to practice this method and the benefits of Tonglen Meditation have become more popular due to the work of people such as Michael Breen (NLP Trainer), Steve Gilligan (Psychotherapist, Author – ‘The Courage to Love’) and Michael Neil (Success Coach.)
Transforming Negativity
One of the amazing things about Tonglen is that you can use it to transform any kind of negativity. By simply imagining your anger, hatred, fear, paranoia, jealousy etc. as black smoke you can then begin to transform it. Another outstanding benefit of the Tonglen process is that no psychological analysis is required: You don’t need to torture yourself asking questions such as, “Why am I so stupid?” And there is no need for ‘psychological archaeology’ – digging around in your past trying to find ‘root causes.’
It’s an empowering process focused on transforming your feelings here and now in the present.
Taking & Giving (Tonglen) Healing Meditation in 3 Steps
1) TAKING: Begin by representing whatever you feel is negative as black smoke. Simply imagine, sense or pretend that there is a cloud of black smoke in front of you. Begin to inhale this cloud of black smoke through your nostrils. Imagine the smoke entering into your body and settling at the area of your heart chakra. Pause your breath there for a moment as you allow that energy to destroy ‘the demon of demons’ – your ‘self cherishing demon’ or ego!
2) GIVING: Now slowly and gently exhale pure white wisdom light through your mouth. You could if you wish imagine beautiful rays of white light and nectars radiating from your body. You are giving away all that is pure, coming from deep within your infinite potential: Your Indestructable Buddha Nature! As you exhale imagine the white wisdom light is blessing every living being, bestowing peace and happiness!
3) REJOICING: As you’re exhaling allow yourself to feel joy at practicing giving peace and happiness to others. Pause for a moment at the end of the breath and indulge in it!
REPEAT: You now simply go back and start the taking & giving cycle again.
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Developing Compassion with Tonglen Meditation
When you have practised and gained some familiarity using Tonglen on your own negativities you can begin to experiment with taking on the suffering of others. Maybe you know someone that is suffering from illness or grieving.
However you may well have some resistance to taking on their suffering at first as Buddhist Nun, Pema Chodron points out in her article The Practice Of Tonglen:
“This is the core of the practice: breathing in other’s pain so they can be well and have more space to relax and open, and breathing out, sending them relaxation or whatever you feel would bring them relief and happiness. However, we often cannot do this practice because we come face to face with our own fear, our own resistance, anger, or whatever our personal pain, our personal stuckness happens to be at that moment.”
“At that point you can change the focus and begin to do tonglen for what you are feeling and for millions of others just like you who at that very moment of time are feeling exactly the same stuckness and misery.”
Like most westerners, when I first came across Tonglen I thought it a bit odd! Most western psychological models are still based on getting rid of things that are wrong or bad. With Tonglen, of course, we accept the negative energy, take it on and indeed harness the energy for transformation! It’s a very beautiful way for dealing with your own problematic feelings. Personally I have found Tonglen useful for shifting unwanted states of mind where other approaches / techniques didn’t work.
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May 7, 2013
Is It The End Of The Word?
We live in a dualistic Universe. There are positive and negative energies. Ying and Yang. Of course whether something is positive or negative depends on your point of view. Language is full of labels which attach these polarised perceptions. The most fundamental human duality is that of Bad/Good. We’re always judging things as being either good or bad.
The words we use with others and ‘in our head’ has a very powerful influence in how we respond to the world. By changing the language we use, we can change our perceptions, solve problems and discover new ways of seeing the world.
The following technique was created by Yugoslavian author, Zivorad Mihajlovic Slavinski, who has wrote many interesting books on what he calls, ‘Spiritual Technology.’ It’s surprisingly simple yet can get great results.
End Of Words
1. What is the problem you want to solve specifically?
State this as your subjective experience. e.g.) “I’m not earning enough money,” more specifically becomes, “I don’t feel I am capable of earning a decent living.”
You now alternate between the following two questions and write down what comes to mind. Keep going until you’ve no words left; The End of Words. It will come sooner than you might think!
What’s bad about the problem?
What’s good about the problem?
2. At the ‘end of words’ ask yourself, “What is the matter with the problem we started from?”
“Do you still feel it as a problem?”
So there you go! It’s a very simple and elegant process that can achieve useful results. Here’s an interesting quote from ‘Return To Oneness’ by Slavinski that explains how he came up with the idea for what he terms, “Verbal Reduction and Expansion (VRE)” Techniques:
“Data, which I have been collecting For a long time, cumulated some energy and in one moment there happened a quantum jump as with an electrical spark and a new revelation appeared. I was strongly impressed by the thought that nations, which lost their language, vanished from existence.
It brought me to the creation of the method of Verbal Reduction and Expansion (VRE). Its basic idea was my own discovery that with the reduction and vanishing of the words with which we describe a problem that problem simultaneously vanishes.”
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