Rosalind Guy's Blog, page 33

The Smile Thief

“Here is a small fact: You are going to die.”  –Markus Zusak, the book thief

“And not only will you die, before death comes, there are many who will come into your life and hurt you. Allow yourself to absorb the hurt and move on.” –Rosalind Guy

Always keep a spare smile ready.

There are those who will steal

your smile away & use it to add

to their own smile. At that point

the smile becomes a mocking reminder

of a happiness that was lifted away

from you as easily as the soul

is lifted away from the body when

Death comes to claim it.

Peace & Love,

Rosalind

Twelve Steps of Loving You

I’ve been going to Starbucks just about every day this summer, trying to maintain a consistent writing schedule. While I’m sitting there, I’m usually listen to a blues station I created on Pandora. The other day a song came on while I was writing. It was called “The Twelve Steps of Loving.” I took the title and made it my own. This is what I have come up with so far:

The first step,

dreaming of you.

The second step,

the day I met you, accidentally.

The third step,

talking to you, to know you.

The fourth step,

tipping over for the fall,

The fifth step,

daring to allow myself to love you,

to fall in love with you.

The sixth step,

hoping you were falling too,

but knowing even if you weren’t

it wouldn’t stop my fall.

The seventh step,

looking forward to seeing you, every day.

The eighth step,

imagining a future without you, and

knowing I wanted to spend my future with you

The ninth step,

because I never want to stop

The tenth step,

talking to you, loving you, being with you.

The eleventh step,

wanting to wake up next to you, every day

The twelfth step,

as much as I wanted to fall asleep beside you.

Peace & Love,

Rosalind

Love Letters 5 (Nothing Lasts Forever)

Danny sifted through the few letters that remained, unsure of which one she should read next. It made her sad to realize that she’d reached the end of the love story. Even though she knew from the beginning what the end would be, she still feels a tugging in her that she cannot explain. Only four letters remained. The man who wrote these letters is not the man she’s known as grandpa, so she knew beforehand that their love story had somehow ended. The question was how. And why?

My Dearest Love,

I promised I would never hurt you

and I need you to know I never

intended to. Hurt you. I told you

this war was coming to an end,

regardless of the end, I told you

I’d never leave you, that I would

return to you soon. The truth is

I knew my words likely wouldn’t

prove true, but I didn’t offer

them as a way to deceive you.

Rather it was a way to

deceive me. I thought if I

dreamed hard enough, I could

dream myself free. It seems

dreams are nothing more than

a prison for hope and I daresay

I will never taste of freedom.

Still. I will always and forever

love you. Know this to be true:

A leaf dropped on the surface

of a lake causes hardly a ripple.

In fact, were it not for seeing

the leaf with your own eyes,

you’d never know it was there.

It has been about a year now

that I’ve been trying to make my

way to you, but all my efforts

amount to the presence of the leaf

skimming the surface of the lake.

I no longer wish to keep you waiting

for a love that is nothing more than

hope imprisoned in a dream.

Though I am unable to release my

self, I release you. I wish for you

to find a love who can love you

as hard as you love. A love who can

match all that I know you offer.

Forget all about me, knowing that

life is a peculiar creature and

sometimes offers us things, keeping

them just beyond reach. I simply

cannot take the steps required

to close the gap between you and me.

I cannot tear down the walls

separating us, so I finally concede.

Do not use this failed love as an excuse

never to love again. Do not become

one of those women who are broken,

believing love to be a villain who

arrived simply to kill something inside

of them, for this is not true. I

truly intended to love you. I just don’t

know what to do anymore. But I do know

that a man much better than me will one day

come along & sweep you off your feet.

And he’ll catch you when you fall. I wanted

to be that man, but knowing I can’t

I end this letter by saying, I’ll always love you, Love.

Signed,

the Mysterious Poet Dude

Danny had tears in her eyes when she reached the end of the letter. She let the single sheet of paper slip through her fingers. This is not what she’d been expecting. She looked down at the other letters that remained in her hand. Not now. I cannot read these now. She wasn’t sure how much longer she sat there in the darkening space of the attic, surrounded by the circle of letter s that had all been released to the attic floor. But when she did climb down from the attic, she felt a heaviness that she had not known when she initially entered the attic. She didn’t know how she’d be able to get rid of the extra weight she felt herself carrying. She just knew she needed to keep walking so she could get as far away from the attic as possible.

Peace & Love,

Rosalind

Love Letters 4

“You are and always have been my dream.” –Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Dear Love,

Finally,

my searching

has come

to an end. The person

I was looking for

was also searching

for me. Life’s endless

navigation kept me

continually moving

in your direction.

Once I arrived

on the path

where our worlds

would collide, life revealed

what my soul already knew

that you had been

created for me &

I was created for you.

You have become

the air that I breathe,

I didn’t know before

But I have always

been breathing

for you. And now

my every breath

is an emotional seed

that joins with yours,

planted by our twin souls

to reach the fertile soil

planted deep within us.

I am the water &

you are my sun &

together we will

replenish the universe

with our love.

Signed,

the Mysterious Poet Dude

Dear Mysterious,

I have spent an eternity

searching for you. My womb

has birthed a love for you

that has been growing

since the day I met you.

As our love has grown

so has my knowledge of you.

I observe you & notice

even the smallest things

like how your eyes light up

when something excites you,

how your smile is wide

enough to touch

all those around you,

how you carry words

that are important to you

on one long breath

that sustains you and

those listening to you,

how my future

together with you is

reflected in your eyes

and in your words too.

Together, we two

have built a solid

foundation to sustain

our family and our unity

will never be

questioned

because our devotion

to one another

is obvious. I breathe easier

knowing I will spend

the rest of my life

loving you. Knowing

that your words are

a foundation stronger

than the bridge that

has carried us over

the troubled waters

of our lives

before we knew

the other even existed.

Signed,

Love

Peace & Love,

Rosalind

Missing You

“I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.” — John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

I crave the intensity of your presence

even when you are near me; I hear you

forming words for good-bye, I hear your

faltering steps moving away long before

you leave. Tomorrow will not always come.

There will come a moment when it will be

smashed into tiny bits of long ago memories

with the hammer of inevitability & all I will

taste is the dryness of your last good-bye,

grinding against my teeth, trying to

tunnel its way down into my throat.

Dry heaves tear at my body, leave me

feeling empty. It’s as if I’ve forgotten

the sweet taste of how it feels to be loved

by you.

Peace & Love,

Rosalind

Blues of a Love Junkie Giveaway

There’s still time to enter for a chance to win my latest book, Blues of a Love Junkie. Follow this link below to enter for a chance to win:

Blues of a Love Junkie Giveaway

Peace & Love,

Rosalind

More Letters from the Attic: Lost Love Letters

“But could youth last, and love still breed,/ had joys no date, nor age no need,/ then these delights my mind might move/to live with thee, and be thy love.” –excerpt from “The Nymph’s Reply to the Shepherd”

Dear Love,

Will you be my rida? Cause I want to be your down ass for whatever nigga.

It cannot be said enough that the intangibles we share are not up for sale

and will not be negotiated like the terms of a business contract. We started off

with grams of interest but end with kilos of endearment; that is love from a

hustler’s standpoint. So, please, if you don’t mind, share this misunderstood

life with me as we conquer the ghetto dream of this hood love.

Signed,

the Mysterious Poet Dude

Dear Mysterious,

I read your words and then I read them again.

I read them so much they became ingrained

on my heart. Thoughts, once elusive, began to rain

and I knew I had to reach out now, or I’d miss

the opportunity to express them again.

My first thought was this: If only I had a dime

for every time I’ve wanted to offer a penny

for your thoughts so I could read your mind

to see if you are still truly mine or if you’re just

biding your time, trying to find the right words

to tell me you can never be mine. Not fully.

But I’ll address the question you asked me:

I’ve always been your day one rider, slid right in beside you,

the day our eyes met and I knew I had to have you, cuz I felt

the world within me shift. I knew right then and there

I’d always be the one to keep the scales balanced,

matching your love kilo for kilo and pound for pound, and that gram of

interest that was planted the day I met you, it grew

like I knew it would, transforming into full-fledged

desire to be with you But we both know time stops for

no one and while I’m still your rider, my ride or die I have to ask

where are you? I’ve got your back and on that you can always

depend. So, yes, I’ll be your rider and your rida.

In the height of our existence as one, I felt you as my strength

while I desired nothing more than to be your wisdom;

I crossed the bridge we constructed with our words

and I’ve been standing there waiting

for you to cross the bridge too. Everybody knows that in the ghetto

if you find true love, you better hold on cause the ghetto

is a man-eat-man world. And no one, I mean no one,

wants to get caught trying to fight, alone.

So, if you’re still wondering if I’ll ride for you

Well, let me ask you, is it not true

that if you need an ear, I offer two, and

if you need a hand to hold, I offer those too,

if you need a shoulder on which to lean, I

give those too; there’s nothing I withhold from you.

When you need my love to hold you down,

I climb on top and hold onto your crown

so it won’t slip as we fight in these streets, and

you’ll remember you’re a King and I’m your Queen,

and we’re still trying to maintain a love that others take offense to,

even though they see the fruit and wish they could

enjoy the sweet nectar that our fruit brings. In their eyes

we see them realize that what we have is true and that’s why

we have to keep fighting to hold onto each other.

We both know that our shared vision is

unshakeable, it’s true, but it depends on two people

riding for two. That means you’ll be down for me

like you know I’m down for you. When you look back

over your shoulder, you’ll see I’ll always be there.

And that’s one promise you never have to ask if it’s true.

Signed,

Love

Dear Love,

Retract the thought of a love lost and embrace the thought

of a love forever. The succor of a meal that doesn’t have to

be forced on the receiver.

Sit before a plate that will always be full, and, you, the satiated patron

will keep seeking more, knowing that ours is a plate that remains full

of the love we have for each other. Always be full of the respect we

have for one another. And always be full of the value you place on

one another.

We can continue to cruise the wide open space, hoping for a street

light to appear or we can realize we don’t need a light to let us know

it’s safe to fall in love, which we’ve already done. So, when we see the freeway

to our evolution appear, we know the fuel of our eternal transportation will

never disappear. We’ll never be sitting on empty because the fuel is unceasing

like our love for each other: there is no end.

Signed,

the Mysterious Poet Dude

Peace & Love,

Rosalind

101 Lies: Spotted Like Dalmatians

101 Lies: Spotted Like Dalmatians

Lies flowed from his lips

like honey from a honeycomb.

I traced a finger along

the sweetness of his lies

only to realize the person

I thought he was never really existed,

the person before me,

a culmination of his lies

& finally I recognized on sight

that a castle in the sky

is constructed entirely of lies.

I love you, one.

I choose you, two.

You are my first real best friend,

three, four, and five.

I’ll love you til the day I die,

ten.

I need to talk to you continually,

to always be around you, fifteen.

I’ll never hurt you,

twenty.

Never take you for granted.

I love the way your eyes shine

whenever you look at me.

I want to experience forever

with you, and for me, forever

is composed of small moments

of today and every day.

I’ll never lie to you, or

if I do lie to you

I’ll compose an excuse

so cloying it reminds you of honey,

so sweet it tempts you to

believe the honey sweet nectar

of my words is true

because I told you before,

I’d never lie to you,

and that’s one hundred and one.

Peace & Love,

Rosalind

Letters Found in the Attic or Racing Against the Sands of Time

Sharing more letters, a continuation of a blog post that started here: https://rosguy.wordpress.com/2015/05/27/love-letters-or-whats-left-unsaid/.

Dear Mysterious,

I love you more than

the oldest stars shining high

in the sky on a cloudless night.

I desire you more than a man

who’s traveled hundreds of miles

across the desert, without a drop

to drink, desires a sip of water.

I crave you more than

caramel kisses.

I need you like I need oxygen

to breathe.

My twin soul, you are so much

a part of me

that your smile reflects my smile

and warms my heart.

My twin soul, how can I

dare to

exist without you,

knowing there’s no me without you?

Signed,

Love

Dear Love,

From the beginning

all the way to the end,

our love will continue to

dig deep within the soil

where it was planted.

I drown in your love daily

only to be resuscitated

by your smile

again and again.

You are my beginning

and in the end

our love will dance

amongst the stars

for all of eternity.

Signed,

The Mysterious Poet Dude

Dear Love,

I know you’re probably wondering

where I’ve been. I can see your

hand over your mouth, you in deep

concentration, trying to understand

how I can say I love you and

never call you again. Till today. The truth

is this: all you see now is an illusion

and my words to you are the truth.

There is no greater promise

than a soul to soul commitment.

And I commit fully to what we possess,

that is a forever together promise.

Our walk is a continuation of one

impetuous walk started

among a night sky filled with stars.

You are me & I am you &

together we will trace the longitude

of our love-a-tude together.

I love you and I always will.

Signed,

The Mysterious Poet Dude

Dear Mysterious,

Castles built in the sky

never really exist.

Somewhere in the hollow concave,

a place between hope & death,

I find myself waiting in vain,

knowing there are some who

set about destroying love

by setting it up day by day

in a windowless room

in the shadow of the moon,

just another castle in the sky.

That’s why I entreat you

to stop constructing

castles behind the hazy,

shadowless moon

that bears not even a smile.

My dreams were never meant

to be a road map to the place

where you & I & love

could never exist.

The clouds in the sky,

never meant to be a bouncy room

of lies, where I hop from one

to another, trying to escape the face

of the moon. So when you ask

why I glare when I look in the face

of the moon, it’s simply because

the moon occupies my room

in your heart and I finally know

the room will never truly be mine.

Signed,

Love

**off to read more letters ;-)**

Peace & Love,

Rosalind

(Photo courtesy of istock.com)

Love Letters or What’s Left Unsaid

We live and breathe words…Reading your words, what you wrote, how you were lonely sometimes and afraid, but always brave; the way you saw the world, its colors and textures and sounds, I felt–I felt the way you thought, hoped, felt, dreamt. I felt I was dreaming and thinking and feeling with you. I dreamed what you dreamed, wanted what you wanted–and then I realized that truly I just wanted you.  –Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

I dreamed one night

that Love opened a door

and was standing on the

threshold. I invited Love in

but Love just stared at me

with those unyielding eyes.

And Love opened her mouth

and I watched Glory step

through the door. Love allowed Glory

to complete me and Fullness rested

its head against my chest

which allowed my heart to beat

for the first time. For once in

my life I felt full and complete.

Signed,

the Mysterious Poet Dude

Dear Mysterious:

When you asked Love to come in,

did you know she’d stay forever?

Were you seeking eternity or

just a temporary fix? When you saw

the fear in Love’s eyes, did you know

Love was waiting for you to show her

that she didn’t have to fear any longer

because you’d always be there to

hold her close, always?

Signed,

Love

Dear Love:

My life has not been the same

since I met you. I never envisioned

being completely blindsided

by the priceless gem that you are.

Your illumination has consumed my

atmosphere and the only star shining

brightly is you. I never felt the need

to change paths until your illumination

began to brighten my way. It is your soul

that has sought the comfort of these arms.

And my soul is here to embrace you

in the only place where two souls can meet

and fulfill their selfless dreams, our hearts.

I truly love and value thee.

Signed,

the Mysterious Poet Dude

Peace & Love,

Rosalind