J.P. Choquette's Blog, page 12
March 3, 2015
5 Ways a Full-Time Job Helps Your Writing
“Do what you love and the money will follow.”
“Dream big or go home!”
“Creators wanted.”
I walk a delicate line between optimism and reality. While I really, truly believe that creatives are meant to express our talent and skill, there is also a lot of wishful thinking that can get in our way.
image credit Optimism versus Reality Take quote number three for instance: Creators wanted. “Well, that’s great,” a realist would say. “So, how much am I going to get paid for that?” This isn’t to say that all realists are completely financially-focused, but some payoff is required to get a realist excited about a project.
Looking at that same quote, an optimist might be thinking, “Wow, another opportunity! See how great the world is?”
When I first quit my day job in 2008, there were a lot of emotions flying about. Excitement, peace, and hopefulness. Fear, anxiety, and frustration because there was so much that I still needed to know about freelance writing, and didn’t.
Mostly though, I felt grateful. Fortunate that I, a regular old, nothing-special individual, was finally going to have the opportunity to go after a life-long dream: being a writer. Working for myself. Helping others through my talent and skill.
Fast forward 7+ years ... Am I still feeling the magic? Most days. Do I still struggle to find balance? All the time. Do I ever long for my 9-5? On occasion.
What I didn’t realize before starting my own writing business was that writing, while my primary emotional/creative outlet, felt stilted after spending hours a day doing it. Required writing—sometimes about topics I cared little about—was part of my new responsibilities.
You can’t just send an editor a note saying, “Gee, sorry this article is late. I actually didn’t finish it because it turns out the topic was dull. Good luck finding another writer to take care of it!”
Yeah. Write that note and kiss your career buh-bye.
So what are some ways in which having a regular 9-5 job helped my writing?
I did, after all, finish a full-length novel, several short stories and lots of newspaper articles while working full-time. (Whew! Just remembering that makes me tired.)
Here are five great things that a full-time job offers writers:
1. Payment for showing up. There were plenty of days that I wasn’t “in the mood” to work. I was finishing my bachelor's degree when I worked as a case manager in human services. Some days I daydreamed about a giant light beaming me up from my tiny, window-less office where my 300+ client files kept me company.
Later, when I moved away from human services to temp in an office (easy work = less stress, right?) I remember sitting and watching the clock hands move sooooo s-l-o-w-l-y. BUT I got paid. Every other Friday that sweet check hit my company mailbox and I zoomed to the bank.
2. Creative juices. There is something to be said for doing totally mindless work. It allows one’s creative side to go wild. I remember many boring afternoons at the temp job, sitting at my beautifully polished desk and doodling on scrap paper, then, BLAM! An idea would hit for the manuscript I was working on and I’d jot it down for my next 15-minute writing time.
3. Paid time off. I haven’t had a proper sick day in seven years. Not one where I stay in bed, resting, watching mindless television and letting the world go on without me. At the very least I am compelled to check my email account (often too many times a day).
Other times, I’ve written articles and penned correspondence between coughing fits. I always hated it when sick people would go into work (hello? please don’t infect the rest of us!). When you work for yourself though, no hours = no money. Somehow taking a full sick day isn’t such a priority anymore.
4. Learning on the job. I have a ginormously huge list of things I want to do before I die. (This Pinterest board lists one of my biggest goals.) While working full-time, I dreamt of being an entrepreneur. I don’t mean I thought of it like, “Oh that might be nice.” I mean I was obsessed with it … the way little girls dream about fairy-tale weddings? That was me picturing myself with my own business cards and day planner.
There were lots of skills I learned on the job that I still use today. Many times a month I silently thank my previous bosses for teaching me little shortcuts: easier ways to file/find/maintain records, basic accounting skills, ideas around marketing and more. Without these, I would have had double the amount to learn when I launched my business.
5. Community. OK, I almost didn’t add this one because I bet that you can’t stand some of your co-workers. That guy that always chews with his mouth open. The loud woman next to your cubicle who shouts into her phone all the live long day. The boss who micromanages you so badly that you can’t get the image of braining him with a stapler out of your head during meetings. I get it.
In fact, as an introvert, working alone was one of the things that I longed for most (and still something I enjoy greatly). However, there are certain things that a work community can offer that working alone can’t.
When you run into an issue with your computer, there is no IT person at the ready. Forgot to pay your cover designer? You can’t just shoot an email off to Accounts Payable and ask them to take care of it. There are no extended morning coffee breaks (unless your schedule is open and then you should worry because where is your next check coming from?), no working lunches, no expense account. Heck, you can’t even buy fun office supplies without debating with your stingy inner-accountant!
Tracy-Cooper Posy, a romance novelist, has a great list of things she wished she’d known about writing full-time before she started doing it. (*Note: there are racy images on her books—careful if you’re reading this at work!)
Do you recognize any of the perks above in your own life? Which resonated with you and which could you care less about? Please share in the comments.
“Dream big or go home!”
“Creators wanted.”
I walk a delicate line between optimism and reality. While I really, truly believe that creatives are meant to express our talent and skill, there is also a lot of wishful thinking that can get in our way.
image credit Optimism versus Reality Take quote number three for instance: Creators wanted. “Well, that’s great,” a realist would say. “So, how much am I going to get paid for that?” This isn’t to say that all realists are completely financially-focused, but some payoff is required to get a realist excited about a project. Looking at that same quote, an optimist might be thinking, “Wow, another opportunity! See how great the world is?”
When I first quit my day job in 2008, there were a lot of emotions flying about. Excitement, peace, and hopefulness. Fear, anxiety, and frustration because there was so much that I still needed to know about freelance writing, and didn’t.
Mostly though, I felt grateful. Fortunate that I, a regular old, nothing-special individual, was finally going to have the opportunity to go after a life-long dream: being a writer. Working for myself. Helping others through my talent and skill.
Fast forward 7+ years ... Am I still feeling the magic? Most days. Do I still struggle to find balance? All the time. Do I ever long for my 9-5? On occasion.
What I didn’t realize before starting my own writing business was that writing, while my primary emotional/creative outlet, felt stilted after spending hours a day doing it. Required writing—sometimes about topics I cared little about—was part of my new responsibilities.
You can’t just send an editor a note saying, “Gee, sorry this article is late. I actually didn’t finish it because it turns out the topic was dull. Good luck finding another writer to take care of it!”
Yeah. Write that note and kiss your career buh-bye.
So what are some ways in which having a regular 9-5 job helped my writing?
I did, after all, finish a full-length novel, several short stories and lots of newspaper articles while working full-time. (Whew! Just remembering that makes me tired.)
Here are five great things that a full-time job offers writers:
1. Payment for showing up. There were plenty of days that I wasn’t “in the mood” to work. I was finishing my bachelor's degree when I worked as a case manager in human services. Some days I daydreamed about a giant light beaming me up from my tiny, window-less office where my 300+ client files kept me company.
Later, when I moved away from human services to temp in an office (easy work = less stress, right?) I remember sitting and watching the clock hands move sooooo s-l-o-w-l-y. BUT I got paid. Every other Friday that sweet check hit my company mailbox and I zoomed to the bank.
2. Creative juices. There is something to be said for doing totally mindless work. It allows one’s creative side to go wild. I remember many boring afternoons at the temp job, sitting at my beautifully polished desk and doodling on scrap paper, then, BLAM! An idea would hit for the manuscript I was working on and I’d jot it down for my next 15-minute writing time.
3. Paid time off. I haven’t had a proper sick day in seven years. Not one where I stay in bed, resting, watching mindless television and letting the world go on without me. At the very least I am compelled to check my email account (often too many times a day).
Other times, I’ve written articles and penned correspondence between coughing fits. I always hated it when sick people would go into work (hello? please don’t infect the rest of us!). When you work for yourself though, no hours = no money. Somehow taking a full sick day isn’t such a priority anymore.
4. Learning on the job. I have a ginormously huge list of things I want to do before I die. (This Pinterest board lists one of my biggest goals.) While working full-time, I dreamt of being an entrepreneur. I don’t mean I thought of it like, “Oh that might be nice.” I mean I was obsessed with it … the way little girls dream about fairy-tale weddings? That was me picturing myself with my own business cards and day planner.
There were lots of skills I learned on the job that I still use today. Many times a month I silently thank my previous bosses for teaching me little shortcuts: easier ways to file/find/maintain records, basic accounting skills, ideas around marketing and more. Without these, I would have had double the amount to learn when I launched my business.
5. Community. OK, I almost didn’t add this one because I bet that you can’t stand some of your co-workers. That guy that always chews with his mouth open. The loud woman next to your cubicle who shouts into her phone all the live long day. The boss who micromanages you so badly that you can’t get the image of braining him with a stapler out of your head during meetings. I get it.
In fact, as an introvert, working alone was one of the things that I longed for most (and still something I enjoy greatly). However, there are certain things that a work community can offer that working alone can’t.
When you run into an issue with your computer, there is no IT person at the ready. Forgot to pay your cover designer? You can’t just shoot an email off to Accounts Payable and ask them to take care of it. There are no extended morning coffee breaks (unless your schedule is open and then you should worry because where is your next check coming from?), no working lunches, no expense account. Heck, you can’t even buy fun office supplies without debating with your stingy inner-accountant!
Tracy-Cooper Posy, a romance novelist, has a great list of things she wished she’d known about writing full-time before she started doing it. (*Note: there are racy images on her books—careful if you’re reading this at work!)
Do you recognize any of the perks above in your own life? Which resonated with you and which could you care less about? Please share in the comments.
March 2, 2015
Updates
image credit You might notice that it looks a little different around here. The website is being reconfigured to streamline and make things easier to navigate. Would love your thoughts on whether or not we’re accomplishing what we’re trying to do. If you’re new to the site and a writer, be sure to check out the new Author Apprenticeship Program. There are several offerings there now (like the e-Guide, information on an upcoming retreat for writers and ways to work with me in a 1:1 setting) and there will be lots more in the near future. Really excited about this new direction and about learning more about each of you!
Several new people have signed up for the Newsletter for Writers and I’ve been chatting with them via email about certain writing-related struggles that they face. I’d love to hear from you. If you haven’t signed up yet, please do. This newsletter comes out monthly on the 1st and 15th.
I’m also excited about the emails that have come in for the past several days from group members at the Careful Cents Club. Offering a free one-hour consultation/coaching session to one lucky winner. Looking forward to the drawing for that on Thursday, 3/5.
As always, thanks for your interest in my work. I’d love to get your feedback on the site and what you might like to see more of in the blog or via the newsletter.
February 26, 2015
Making the Business of Writing Fun
I just finished reading a great book,
The Right-Brain Business Plan
by Jennifer Lee. I finished reading in about two days. It's one of those books that makes you want to take action. Right then and there--but you can't because you have to read just one more chapter. The photo above is a collage I created last fall while I was looking at my writing business and how I want it to change/grow.
When I started writing for a living seven years ago, I never dreamed I would be in the place I am now: writing books? Helping businesses tell their stories? Working with writers and helping them overcome some of the same blocks I once faced? Impossibibble! (As Tigger likes to say.) How Does One Make the Work of Writing Fun? I think it comes from trusting yourself and following your intuition whenever possible. This week for instance, I've been struggling. Feeling like the well is nearly dry and coupled with the zero temps we've been experiencing here for the past month or two (or five?), I'm not feeling like the best version of myself.
So today, rather than force myself quickly into my to-do list, I played for a while. I cut out more images and words that felt right as I flipped through old magazines, creating two more collages: one outlining my perfect clients and another my desire to change my relationship with money. (While I'm frugal by nature, sometimes even a good thing can be taken too far.) Now other pieces of my own personalized right-brain business plan shaping up.
There are other ways of course to add more fun to one's writing work day. Here are a few suggestions:
Set a timer and try to beat your words per minute on a project you've been dreading.Start a project that you have been putting off. Even five minutes on an opening sentence can help remove a mental block or resistance. Allow yourself 20 minutes to play on Pinterest or another social networking site. The work will still be there when you get back. Buy yourself some pretty flowers, or make some out of paper. Sketch a comic. Add your pets in if you have any because animals tend to make most things more humorous. Watch a quick YouTube video that will get you laughing. Sign up for some daily inspiration. Enjoy a cup of steaming tea far away from your computer. Scent the air (grapefruit, peppermint, lemon and geranium essential oils tend to be "uppers"). Take a walk. Or alternately, sit and do nothing. Listen to the quiet.Meet someone for coffee. Go sit in a park. Schedule a Google Hangout for fun during a slow day.
What are your thoughts? Do you find there are certain tried and true methods to get you through those writing work days when you just aren't feeling it? Please share in the comments.
PS--Just FYI, my new e-Newsletter, specifically for writers & creatives comes out on March 1st (2 days!). If you haven't already signed up, why not do it now?
February 24, 2015
Solopreneur ... dreaming of returning to a 9-5?
image credit Sometimes—infrequently—I have a daydream I’m a bit embarrassed about. Having run my own writing business for the past seven years, this daydream feels like a dirty little secret. But here it is: _
Sometimes I dream of having a 9-5 Job. I picture the gobs of money funneling into my company-matched 401K, the paid time off, the vacations where—when I’m away—I have no need to wake up panicked at 3:30 a.m., wondering if I emailed a response to XX. Or if, in fact, I’d actually finished that project for XX, or had just run through it so many times in my mind that it feels finished. I fantasize about leaving work at work: closing my computer down for the day, shutting my office door and being f-r-e-e.
And though I love my career 95 percent of the time, there are days like yesterday where I wonder what the heck am I doing? Where so many ideas are swirling around in my poor, overloaded brain that it feels ready to combust. Times like yesterday where I feel a tight, clenching knot in my gut thinking, if I had anything left in my creative well, I could work through these feelings by writing or painting. But the well, after a long day, was dry. So instead I seethed my way through an episode of Murdoch Mysteries, reading a business book during commercial breaks and wondering if I should be less worried about worrying about work.
Creativity has so many benefits. But it has its dark side, too. Feeling overwhelmed is common for creatives. Lack of belief in yourself, in your art—whether writing or painting or making music or woodworking—can cause significant stress over time on both your body and spirit. Taking a break is one way to handle the dark side. If it’s a more serious issue, medication and/or therapy may help. Sometimes though, it takes a little time out of one’s head to mend the frayed wires.
So what's a creative to do? After an overloaded day and a stressful (self-induced for the most part) morning, I finally saw and felt a glimmer of hope while talking to another entrepreneur. We sat and chatted about the work/life balance, feeling frazzled and the guilt mongers that hound us (our own, personalized versions). Then we shared ideas to help each other over cups of steaming coffee in paper cups.
That short session with someone who “gets it,” was more meaningful to me than a hundred therapy sessions. Because this entrepreneur is also creative. And she understands my language.
Now it’s your turn. What does your creative dark side look like? Overwhelm? Fear that you’re a hack? Competitiveness or coveting someone else’s work or creations or life? How do you deal with these feelings and thoughts successfully?
February 19, 2015
Inspiration 101--Coming Your Way
Are you a writer or creative entrepreneur, looking for a little encouragement? Join my new inspirational newsletter list, just for you! Each issue will feature:
A motivational article, intended to help you blast past creative blocks and the naysayersTrending topics from other creatives around the webEmpowering quotes and artsy photosA call to action--with detailed tips on next steps you can take for success
Sound good? Sign up here.
A motivational article, intended to help you blast past creative blocks and the naysayersTrending topics from other creatives around the webEmpowering quotes and artsy photosA call to action--with detailed tips on next steps you can take for success
Sound good? Sign up here.
How to Write a Novel in 15 Minutes a Day
So did I. Lots of times. In fact, it wasn't until I found this particular 15 minute writing method that things changed. Using that and making one other small change, I've now written four novels ... with more on the way. I particularly liked this quote by author, Beth Kanell. Beth says, “One of my favorite things about reading The 15-Minute Novelist is the feeling that I've got a clear, step-by-step workbook in front of me -- even with questions to answer! It's conversational, like a good friend or warm-hearted pro, putting an arm over my shoulder and saying, "Stop scaring yourself! You can do this and have a great time, 15 minutes at a time, just like this ..." -- and I know it's going to work, because I've been there. J.P. Choquette's book reminds me of the good times I've had, and how to have them again, putting a story onto paper to share it.”
That bit about being ‘reminded of the good times she’s has and how to have them again’ made me break out in goose bumps. Yes! That is why I wrote this guide and what I’m hoping that other writers come away with.
Inspiration.
Belief in themselves.
A new, simple way to write.
If this e-Guide helps a writer accomplish even one or those, I will be happy. But if a writer tells me they have experienced all three? I’ll be tap dancing like Danny Kaye.
Interested in learning more about the e-Guide or ready to buy? "I've tried finishing a novel before ... and failed." It’s here! It’s here! It’s finally here!
The release of my e-Guide, The 15-Minute Novelist: How to Write a Novel in Just 15 Minutes a Day happens today.
Thanks to some early reviews, I have proof that this method isn’t just a bunch of fluff, but really works.
Nourish: A Retreat for Writers
If stuck creatively, this is one of the best things you can do Do you ever tell yourself that "someday" your going to start (or finish) that novel. Someday you will make time to get back to writing poetry. Someday you'll enter your short story (which has yet to be started) in a contest. I have a question for you:
When is someday?
One of the most beneficial writing events I ever attended was a retreat. Located in a beautiful country setting, the focus wasn't on critiquing, sending out query letters or perfecting our agent pitch. Instead it included lots of time for ... nothing.
We were sent out into the fields and woods with notebooks and pens and asked to just notice something--one thing--and write about it. It was an experience that nourished me on many levels. And I want to share that same experience with you.
The library is the perfect spot for writers to retreat! Best, but not necessarily easy. In our busy, loud world it's often difficult, if not impossible to pull away. To carve out time for our writing and for that all-important first step: reflection.
That's what Nourish will offer. A chance to close out the noise, the obligations, the expectations of others and focus solely on our writer-selves.
Spacious entryway will be the perfect spot for our on-site yoga class, taught by a professional instructor. 
Cozy chair in the library. I chose the name "nourish" because it's going to be a day that does just that. A delicious, healthy, spa-like lunch will be provided along with hot beverages. Your body's need for movement will be taken care of with time for a yoga class or time out of the house for a walk in the charming village of Enosburg. You can share a writing-related challenge you're struggling with in a one-on-one mini-coaching session with me, where you'll leave with a step-by-step plan of action. You'll have time for guided journaling and a creative art project intended to help you tell the story of your own desire for nourishment and how to get more of it in your life. As a writer, you deserve time to dedicate to your craft.
Maybe you can set a goal and make sure that this work time is protected. I would ask though, has that worked up to this point? If not, consider joining us at Nourish: Retreat for Writers and see if you don't remember the time spent here for years to come.
February 17, 2015
The Top 5 Sites for 1st Time Authors
Boy, do I wish I’d had a list of resources like this eight years ago, when I was scratching out the first draft of
Epidemic,
my first (completed) full-length manuscript.
Working a day job at the time, I got most of my advice for writing one’s first book from the usual sources: Writers Digest, Writers Market and writers conferences. Some of the advice was great, some was “eh” and some was downright harmful. I talk a little about how I got over the bad advice and learned to do my own thing in this e-Guide.
Before delving into the list, see if one of the following descriptions fits you:
1. Working a full-time job, you are lucky to squeeze in time to pack a lunch before rushing from the house for another long day.
2. You’ve recently cut back to part-time work or been downsized by your company. While you dreamt of using the extra time to start—or finally finish—your first book, at the end of the day you end up wondering where the extra time went exactly.
3. When you pictured this time of your life, you forgot to add in all the extra responsibilities: like kids and/or aging parents and/or volunteer committees and/or work obligations that eat up much of your free time.
image credit Your writing falls by the wayside because you’re tired.
You are also stressed. And you don’t feel like writing. I get it.
But you know deep down that writing a book, a real, first time, hold-it-in-your-hands book is something that you want, no MUST do before you die. It’s been on your bucket list before there was such a phrase. You know in your marrow that whatever else you do in your free time, you will make this work. Somehow.
If you’re looking for a few practical, easy steps to finish your first novel, you’ll want to check out this post, How to Write Your Novel in 15 Minutes at a Time. If you’re looking for other resources or something a bit more in depth, check out this list of Top 5 Sites for 1st Time Authors.
I dare you to come away from this list uninspired.
Top 5 Sites for 1st Time Authors
· The Write Life—packed with real-life, practical, you-can-use-this-idea-today articles, The Write Life discusses various aspects of writing: from freelancing and blogging, to marketing and self-publishing, this site is an absolutely wonderful place to start and continue to learn about writing.
· 10-Minute Novelists— my 15 minute writing method seems slow in comparison! This is an even faster way to get yourself motivated to write and keep on going. Site has a lot of great articles. The best part? The community built via Facebook/Twitter where you can pose questions or offer suggestions to other authors.
· The Creative Penn—not necessarily geared toward the first-time author, but there is such a wealth of information here that I’d be remiss not to include it. Learn about the in’s and out’s of self-publishing, the importance or writing schedules and other great information here.
· C. Hope Clark—this is a great, professionally design site that’s easy to manueuever and C. Hope Clark, the author of several fiction books as well as a long-time nonfiction writing guru has an especially helpful list of articles here.
· Lindsay Buroker—again, this is the site of a professional author. In addition to her prolific offerings of fiction books, however, Lindsay Buroker also offers practical, easy-to-understand posts for writers—those just starting out and those who have been at it for a while. Plus, she’s funny and I enjoy her books.
Would love to learn more about what resources you’ve discovered that aren’t on this list. Please leave a comment or click to tweet/share on Facebook to keep the conversation going.
Working a day job at the time, I got most of my advice for writing one’s first book from the usual sources: Writers Digest, Writers Market and writers conferences. Some of the advice was great, some was “eh” and some was downright harmful. I talk a little about how I got over the bad advice and learned to do my own thing in this e-Guide.
Before delving into the list, see if one of the following descriptions fits you:
1. Working a full-time job, you are lucky to squeeze in time to pack a lunch before rushing from the house for another long day.
2. You’ve recently cut back to part-time work or been downsized by your company. While you dreamt of using the extra time to start—or finally finish—your first book, at the end of the day you end up wondering where the extra time went exactly.
3. When you pictured this time of your life, you forgot to add in all the extra responsibilities: like kids and/or aging parents and/or volunteer committees and/or work obligations that eat up much of your free time.
image credit Your writing falls by the wayside because you’re tired. You are also stressed. And you don’t feel like writing. I get it.
But you know deep down that writing a book, a real, first time, hold-it-in-your-hands book is something that you want, no MUST do before you die. It’s been on your bucket list before there was such a phrase. You know in your marrow that whatever else you do in your free time, you will make this work. Somehow.
If you’re looking for a few practical, easy steps to finish your first novel, you’ll want to check out this post, How to Write Your Novel in 15 Minutes at a Time. If you’re looking for other resources or something a bit more in depth, check out this list of Top 5 Sites for 1st Time Authors.
I dare you to come away from this list uninspired.
Top 5 Sites for 1st Time Authors
· The Write Life—packed with real-life, practical, you-can-use-this-idea-today articles, The Write Life discusses various aspects of writing: from freelancing and blogging, to marketing and self-publishing, this site is an absolutely wonderful place to start and continue to learn about writing.
· 10-Minute Novelists— my 15 minute writing method seems slow in comparison! This is an even faster way to get yourself motivated to write and keep on going. Site has a lot of great articles. The best part? The community built via Facebook/Twitter where you can pose questions or offer suggestions to other authors.
· The Creative Penn—not necessarily geared toward the first-time author, but there is such a wealth of information here that I’d be remiss not to include it. Learn about the in’s and out’s of self-publishing, the importance or writing schedules and other great information here.
· C. Hope Clark—this is a great, professionally design site that’s easy to manueuever and C. Hope Clark, the author of several fiction books as well as a long-time nonfiction writing guru has an especially helpful list of articles here.
· Lindsay Buroker—again, this is the site of a professional author. In addition to her prolific offerings of fiction books, however, Lindsay Buroker also offers practical, easy-to-understand posts for writers—those just starting out and those who have been at it for a while. Plus, she’s funny and I enjoy her books.
Would love to learn more about what resources you’ve discovered that aren’t on this list. Please leave a comment or click to tweet/share on Facebook to keep the conversation going.
February 13, 2015
From Fear to Flourish: John's Story
"We all have one fear or another."Everyone is afraid of something. From Fear to Flourish, a bi-monthly series, will share true life stories of people who did something that scared them ... and how it changed their lives for the better.
This week we'll meet John Bielicki in the series. John is a vibrant spirit who regularly performs in plays, musicals and other art events. He's recently retired, and enjoys laughing and living in Vermont with his lovely wife.
Ready to hear John's story? Let's begin!
One time I was scared of:
In 2002 I was diagnosed with the nerve condition of trigeminal neuralgia. My dentist was the first to discover it. I was referred to a neurologist who treated me with pain medication.
The pain became unbearable, though, the left side of my face began tightening and I was having difficulty speaking. I was referred to the Chairman of the Neurological Surgery Department in Burlington, VT. We discussed treatment. He was the only surgeon with the expertise in this specific surgery which would involve entering my skull and lifting two nerves that were resting on my aorta. A Teflon pillow was to be placed between the aorta and the nerves.
After the consultation that night I had a dream that the surgeon sneezed during the surgery. Frightened, I awoke. I could not fine the courage to submit to the surgery. I was afraid I would die.
What happened next?
The pain continued. But better to endure the pain than have the surgery and die. It occupied my mind daily, though. I wondered, what choice should I make? I was afraid and did not want to show nor tell anyone of my fear.
Why did you decide to tackle this particular fear?
I could not tolerate the pain anymore.
I was on the telephone with a manager in our Buffalo NY office discussing business. She had lost a relative at the 2001 bombing of the World Trade Center. She knew that I was in NYC on that day and experienced the horror. Our discussion drifted away from business and I shared my worry about having trigeminal neuralgia
and my fear of having surgery. The discussion gave me the strength to overcome the fear.
John, in the musical "Waiting on a Dream." Image credit: The Opera House at Enosburg Falls My colleague from Buffalo NY told me about her eighty year-old father who had the same condition for forty years. He finally had the surgery, was cured, and lived another twelve years pain-free. I also did research about the treatment and spoke with the surgeon again about what the surgery would entail.What was the result?
I decided to have the surgery. I awoke after the surgery and the pain in my face was gone never to return. It is nine years now since the surgery and my face is still pain-free.
Any wise or encouraging words you'd like to share with others who might be facing a fear-inducing decision?
We all have one fear or another. Some serious and others not. However, each fear is significant.
Others may have a different way of handling their fear. For me, in this situation, it was finding my own support group. And I have used similar means in dealing with other surgeries that I have had to have. I am not alone.
Thanks so much, John, for sharing your story with us! Happy to hear that you are now pain-free and continuing to enjoy life.
Readers, feel free to leave a comment for John here. Have you faced a similar fear or had a friend/family member with an issue like this? What did you find were your best methods of coping? What helped you the most?
February 10, 2015
On Days Your Big Dream Seems Very Far Away
You’re a dreamer, aren’t you? Head in the clouds. Passion forming your decisions more than logic. Caught up in stardust and possibilities.
Dreamers are also doers.
Just look at Seth Godin, the man who refuses to follow “the rules” in business, whatever those may be. There are other examples too, of course. Steve Jobs, Zig Ziglar, and Mother Theresa to name just a few. People who saw the way things were and said, “Hey, that’s not the way it could be. I’m going to do something about it.” And they did.
And we’re grateful.
So I’m going to assume that you are a dreamer like me. That there is this thing that’s lodged itself in your brain and you can’t shake it. Maybe it’s a book. Maybe it’s a poem or a painting or a way to solve a problem that other entrepreneurs are facing. Whatever it is, this thing, this dream, is stuck there for a reason.
Because you’re the only person who can bring it to life.
“That’s wonderful,” you say. “But what about on those days when the doubt sets in? What about the times when it feels like I’m taking three steps forward and eight back?”
image credit When you doubt (because we all do)
Instead of seeing doubt like a strange phenomenon, recognize it for what it is: part of the process. Loads of dreamers feel doubt and do it anyway. There are crazy stories of entrepreneurs who wouldn’t, couldn’t and thankfully didn’t give up on their dreams even when the going was tough.
Here is one thing you need to know about doubt: it means you’re on the right track. It means you are trying. It means that you aren’t stationary.
This morning, I woke up shaken from a really bad dream. On top of that (or because I was already feeling more fragile?) my mind immediately started to worry over a new venture that I recently launched in my business.
“What if this is a stupid idea?"
"What if XX was right and no one is interested?"
"What if I gave up my winter vacation to a warm locale for this and it is a bust?”
After my quiet time I felt much better. Stronger. More resilient. And I realized something powerful (or was reminded of it). My job is to do the work. To follow the call to write and ignite passion in others following their creative dreams. To keep showing up.
The rest isn’t up to me … and rather than feeling scary, there’s a certain freedom in that.
What do you think? Is there a big dream of yours that feels very far away today? I’d love to offer you some encouragement so please get in touch.
Dreamers are also doers.
Just look at Seth Godin, the man who refuses to follow “the rules” in business, whatever those may be. There are other examples too, of course. Steve Jobs, Zig Ziglar, and Mother Theresa to name just a few. People who saw the way things were and said, “Hey, that’s not the way it could be. I’m going to do something about it.” And they did.
And we’re grateful.
So I’m going to assume that you are a dreamer like me. That there is this thing that’s lodged itself in your brain and you can’t shake it. Maybe it’s a book. Maybe it’s a poem or a painting or a way to solve a problem that other entrepreneurs are facing. Whatever it is, this thing, this dream, is stuck there for a reason.
Because you’re the only person who can bring it to life.
“That’s wonderful,” you say. “But what about on those days when the doubt sets in? What about the times when it feels like I’m taking three steps forward and eight back?”
image credit When you doubt (because we all do)Instead of seeing doubt like a strange phenomenon, recognize it for what it is: part of the process. Loads of dreamers feel doubt and do it anyway. There are crazy stories of entrepreneurs who wouldn’t, couldn’t and thankfully didn’t give up on their dreams even when the going was tough.
Here is one thing you need to know about doubt: it means you’re on the right track. It means you are trying. It means that you aren’t stationary.
This morning, I woke up shaken from a really bad dream. On top of that (or because I was already feeling more fragile?) my mind immediately started to worry over a new venture that I recently launched in my business.
“What if this is a stupid idea?"
"What if XX was right and no one is interested?"
"What if I gave up my winter vacation to a warm locale for this and it is a bust?”
After my quiet time I felt much better. Stronger. More resilient. And I realized something powerful (or was reminded of it). My job is to do the work. To follow the call to write and ignite passion in others following their creative dreams. To keep showing up.
The rest isn’t up to me … and rather than feeling scary, there’s a certain freedom in that.
What do you think? Is there a big dream of yours that feels very far away today? I’d love to offer you some encouragement so please get in touch.
