M.L. Crabb's Blog: The Command Deck, page 9
November 26, 2016
Win & Win
Just look at that little word count! NaNo who?
I’m going back to the original writing strategy I had for Sisters. There’s no way I can reach NaNo’s goal of 50K at this point. The initial plan was to write three chapters, pause and revise, visit the outline and note any changes in plot, and write three more chapters.
Rinse and repeat!
Anyone who has ever had to edit can tell you what a tedious, short-attention-span producing task it is. Imagine saving ALL of it for later and going back to several hundred pages of it. No thanks!
This is something I've never done before. I’ll still have to go back after I finish writing and reread it all, but the goal is to make the dreaded revision task a little easier.
Because nobody asked, here’s my two cents on current events...
Has it made working on Sisters harder? Yes. Did I vote for him? No. Am I going to move on and keep living my life? Yes.
I just want to say one thing, and then I’ll shut up because the last thing I want to turn this blog into is a political stomping ground.
I’m going to talk about Internet rants because, good Lord…There are right ways to express your anger and there are obnoxious ways.
Throwing tantrums online, labeling every single person who voted a certain way a [insert buzzword here], and declaring that you’re unfriending every last person who voted differently than you does one thing, and one thing only.
It alienates people, even those who share your views.
“Your crazy Internet rant really opened my eyes!” said no one ever.
Want to win people over to your side?
Hilarious memes & rationality
It’s that simple.
I’m going back to the original writing strategy I had for Sisters. There’s no way I can reach NaNo’s goal of 50K at this point. The initial plan was to write three chapters, pause and revise, visit the outline and note any changes in plot, and write three more chapters.
Rinse and repeat!
Anyone who has ever had to edit can tell you what a tedious, short-attention-span producing task it is. Imagine saving ALL of it for later and going back to several hundred pages of it. No thanks!
This is something I've never done before. I’ll still have to go back after I finish writing and reread it all, but the goal is to make the dreaded revision task a little easier.
Because nobody asked, here’s my two cents on current events...
Has it made working on Sisters harder? Yes. Did I vote for him? No. Am I going to move on and keep living my life? Yes.
I just want to say one thing, and then I’ll shut up because the last thing I want to turn this blog into is a political stomping ground.
I’m going to talk about Internet rants because, good Lord…There are right ways to express your anger and there are obnoxious ways.
Throwing tantrums online, labeling every single person who voted a certain way a [insert buzzword here], and declaring that you’re unfriending every last person who voted differently than you does one thing, and one thing only.
It alienates people, even those who share your views.
“Your crazy Internet rant really opened my eyes!” said no one ever.
Want to win people over to your side?
Hilarious memes & rationality
It’s that simple.
November 15, 2016
Post Apocalyptic Election Writing Freeze
Watch my NaNoWriMo count stall out!
Last week was a wild one, wasn’t it? I’ll be frank: I didn’t even consider the possibility that our current president-elect would be the president-elect. It didn’t even cross my mind for a second that he even had a remote chance of winning.
I was in the “I hate them both” crowd, but fully expected Clinton to win and to be irritated yet secretly relieved over it because putting a bland, run of the mill politician in the White House would have made everything go back to normal, and that’s all anyone wants, right?
So what does this have anything to do with writing and NaNoWriMo? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Sisters started out as a what if scenario. This year’s crazy election fueled my Sisters frenzy. What if someone similar to Trump really did win?
Needless to say, I was shocked to the core when I woke up, checked my phone, and saw the words “Donald Trump won the presidential election.”
I didn’t know what to think. I certainly didn’t know what to write. I was in a state of bewildered shock for several days (just look at my NaNoWriMo stats!).
Worry not, friends! I managed to gather the confused pieces and am already at it. I probably have a shot in hell at making 50K by the end of the month, but that’s not going to stop me from finishing it. I'm actually a few words shy of 20K, but since I started it before NaNo, I didn't count anything before November 1st.
And so, I’ll leave you with a few Sisters themed images.
Last week was a wild one, wasn’t it? I’ll be frank: I didn’t even consider the possibility that our current president-elect would be the president-elect. It didn’t even cross my mind for a second that he even had a remote chance of winning.
I was in the “I hate them both” crowd, but fully expected Clinton to win and to be irritated yet secretly relieved over it because putting a bland, run of the mill politician in the White House would have made everything go back to normal, and that’s all anyone wants, right?
So what does this have anything to do with writing and NaNoWriMo? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Sisters started out as a what if scenario. This year’s crazy election fueled my Sisters frenzy. What if someone similar to Trump really did win?
Needless to say, I was shocked to the core when I woke up, checked my phone, and saw the words “Donald Trump won the presidential election.”
I didn’t know what to think. I certainly didn’t know what to write. I was in a state of bewildered shock for several days (just look at my NaNoWriMo stats!).
Worry not, friends! I managed to gather the confused pieces and am already at it. I probably have a shot in hell at making 50K by the end of the month, but that’s not going to stop me from finishing it. I'm actually a few words shy of 20K, but since I started it before NaNo, I didn't count anything before November 1st.
And so, I’ll leave you with a few Sisters themed images.
October 29, 2016
National Novel Writing Month
I feel like the timing of this is all too convenient!
Sisters is officially a GO!
I’ve written the first three chapters to get the setting down and a feel for the characters. Once I did that, I paused to create an outline for the rest of the novel.
It just so happens that we’re a few days shy of November (well, at the time I’m writing this, anyway). I couldn't ask for better timing!
Hello, NaNoWriMo! It’s been a long time. I’ve got a novel brewing for you that I'm all too excited to start. It's going to be made of feels. Such feels.
For those who aren’t familiar with NaNoWriMo, they challenge writers to write 50K words in one month (the month of November).
If you love to write, take the NaNo challenge! See if you can hit 50K. You can sign up at nanowrimo.org/
I’ll be posting about my progress. Just look out for #Sisters422.
I know NaNoWriMo suggests that you just write, write, write, and ignore grammar, but I'm not going to do that this year. Going back to edit something like that is:
WHERE R TEH GRAMMARZ POLICE?
Sisters is officially a GO!
I’ve written the first three chapters to get the setting down and a feel for the characters. Once I did that, I paused to create an outline for the rest of the novel.
It just so happens that we’re a few days shy of November (well, at the time I’m writing this, anyway). I couldn't ask for better timing!
Hello, NaNoWriMo! It’s been a long time. I’ve got a novel brewing for you that I'm all too excited to start. It's going to be made of feels. Such feels.
For those who aren’t familiar with NaNoWriMo, they challenge writers to write 50K words in one month (the month of November).
If you love to write, take the NaNo challenge! See if you can hit 50K. You can sign up at nanowrimo.org/
I’ll be posting about my progress. Just look out for #Sisters422.
I know NaNoWriMo suggests that you just write, write, write, and ignore grammar, but I'm not going to do that this year. Going back to edit something like that is:
WHERE R TEH GRAMMARZ POLICE?
October 21, 2016
SITREP Oops
A military story
Back when I was in Okinawa, I had gotten my line number for Staff Sergeant, and off to Airmen Leadership School (ALS) I went. ALS = the special leadership training you have to go through before you become an NCO.
One day we had a special guest instructor. Our desks consisted of three long tables set in a U shape so that the instructor could walk around and interact with us as he taught. If there was one thing to be said about ALS, it was that they were fair with breaks so that we could use the facilities or grab a bite from the vending machines. They did not care if you ate a snack during class so long as you weren’t disruptive.
My story begins when we came back from a break.
I had grabbed myself a small bag of M&Ms because I needed something to hold me over until lunch. I sat in my spot as everyone filed back into the room. The instructor proceeded to go over a serious topic (unfortunately, I’ve forgotten the actual topic, but let’s pretend he was talking about something as sensitive as what to do if one of your subordinates is showing signs of depression).
Once we were all seated, he started his lecture. I quietly grabbed my M&Ms and figured a quick tear to the corner would do the trick. I tugged at the plastic, but nope! It made a hair raising wrinkling sound, so I set them in my lap and tried again--Before I continue, yes, this story is going exactly where you think it is.
The tiny bag refused to open.
No matter what I did, the darned plastic would not tear. I put them back on the table and decided to try again later. I took notes as any dutiful student would and tried again.
I picked up the bag, pulled at the little flap in the back, and
POP!
M&Ms flew everywhere. It was a shock and awe of colorful chocolate candies raining down on the table, thundering like an F15 down the flight-line. I froze, my face transfixed into an expression of utter horror. Not only had my precious snack rained all over the table, but one of the M&Ms smacked the instructor in the chest.
He looked at me, his face a serene picture of calmness. All eyes were on me. Silence clung to the air. He looked down at his feet, bent over, picked up the culprit, and ate it.
He walked over to me and picked a few off the table and ate them.
I sat, with my mouth gaping open. I couldn’t form words or utter an apology because how do you come back from such a disaster?
“You going to clean those up, or do I have to eat them all?” he asked. He stepped back and laughter erupted from his form, and soon, we were all laughing.
Yes, this really happened! Leave it to me to be the one to open a bag of candy for the classic candy explosion!
Back when I was in Okinawa, I had gotten my line number for Staff Sergeant, and off to Airmen Leadership School (ALS) I went. ALS = the special leadership training you have to go through before you become an NCO.
One day we had a special guest instructor. Our desks consisted of three long tables set in a U shape so that the instructor could walk around and interact with us as he taught. If there was one thing to be said about ALS, it was that they were fair with breaks so that we could use the facilities or grab a bite from the vending machines. They did not care if you ate a snack during class so long as you weren’t disruptive.
My story begins when we came back from a break.
I had grabbed myself a small bag of M&Ms because I needed something to hold me over until lunch. I sat in my spot as everyone filed back into the room. The instructor proceeded to go over a serious topic (unfortunately, I’ve forgotten the actual topic, but let’s pretend he was talking about something as sensitive as what to do if one of your subordinates is showing signs of depression).
Once we were all seated, he started his lecture. I quietly grabbed my M&Ms and figured a quick tear to the corner would do the trick. I tugged at the plastic, but nope! It made a hair raising wrinkling sound, so I set them in my lap and tried again--Before I continue, yes, this story is going exactly where you think it is.
The tiny bag refused to open.
No matter what I did, the darned plastic would not tear. I put them back on the table and decided to try again later. I took notes as any dutiful student would and tried again.
I picked up the bag, pulled at the little flap in the back, and
POP!
M&Ms flew everywhere. It was a shock and awe of colorful chocolate candies raining down on the table, thundering like an F15 down the flight-line. I froze, my face transfixed into an expression of utter horror. Not only had my precious snack rained all over the table, but one of the M&Ms smacked the instructor in the chest.
He looked at me, his face a serene picture of calmness. All eyes were on me. Silence clung to the air. He looked down at his feet, bent over, picked up the culprit, and ate it.
He walked over to me and picked a few off the table and ate them.
I sat, with my mouth gaping open. I couldn’t form words or utter an apology because how do you come back from such a disaster?
“You going to clean those up, or do I have to eat them all?” he asked. He stepped back and laughter erupted from his form, and soon, we were all laughing.
Yes, this really happened! Leave it to me to be the one to open a bag of candy for the classic candy explosion!
October 12, 2016
The Emperor’s Archives Giveaway!
It’s finally here, and to celebrate the release of The Emperor’s Archives (TEA), I’m doing a giveaway!
Two lucky winners will receive a $5.00 Amazon gift card and a PDF copy of The Emperor’s Archives!
How to Enter:
Leave a comment on The Command Deck’s Facebook page by Friday, 14 October. Winners will be drawn from a pool of names and announced on Sunday, 16 October!
Rules:
You must be 18 years of age
You must have a valid email address
International entrees are accepted!
If you’re an international contestant and win, you’ll have to provide me with your country’s Amazon page in order to receive a gift card (ex: Amazon.ca, Amazon.uk, and etc).
News
I am so happy that TEA is finally complete!
You can read more about TEA on my website here!
I’ve been wanting to tap into the chaos that spiraled from the events of The Year is Now for a long time. If anyone wants to skip to the stories that deal with it, they are Find me, Follow me, and Beneath the Red Lamp ;) Technically Find me, Follow me is the final story in a trilogy, but it is also a standalone tale (more info in the preface, which is available in the preview PDF).
I've made some minor changes to the blog and added a button that takes you directly to my website. I also changed the featured story to a spooky tale!
So what’s next?I’m taking a break from the empire and am diving into Sisters! You can read about the project here. Believe me when I say that I’m beyond excited to start this novel.
Remember to follow #Sisters422 for updates!
Two lucky winners will receive a $5.00 Amazon gift card and a PDF copy of The Emperor’s Archives!
How to Enter:
Leave a comment on The Command Deck’s Facebook page by Friday, 14 October. Winners will be drawn from a pool of names and announced on Sunday, 16 October!
Rules:
You must be 18 years of age
You must have a valid email address
International entrees are accepted!
If you’re an international contestant and win, you’ll have to provide me with your country’s Amazon page in order to receive a gift card (ex: Amazon.ca, Amazon.uk, and etc).
News
I am so happy that TEA is finally complete!You can read more about TEA on my website here!
I’ve been wanting to tap into the chaos that spiraled from the events of The Year is Now for a long time. If anyone wants to skip to the stories that deal with it, they are Find me, Follow me, and Beneath the Red Lamp ;) Technically Find me, Follow me is the final story in a trilogy, but it is also a standalone tale (more info in the preface, which is available in the preview PDF).
I've made some minor changes to the blog and added a button that takes you directly to my website. I also changed the featured story to a spooky tale!
So what’s next?I’m taking a break from the empire and am diving into Sisters! You can read about the project here. Believe me when I say that I’m beyond excited to start this novel.
Remember to follow #Sisters422 for updates!
October 1, 2016
The New Website is Live!
WAREHOUSE 422 IS HERE!
Give Warehouse 422 a spin at www.mlcrabb.com!
After months of hard work, it's finally here! Happy surfing!
Give Warehouse 422 a spin at www.mlcrabb.com!
After months of hard work, it's finally here! Happy surfing!
September 27, 2016
Work Zone: All Systems Ignite!
T-Minus 3 Days and counting!
My website will launch and take off into the Interwebs on the first day of my favorite month of the year, October!
I've added a countdown to this blog because I'm excited! You should be too!
I'll be doing a giveaway to celebrate the release of The Emperor's Archives (formerly known as Beneath the Red Lamp and Other Tales). Don't tell the emperor, but one of the prizes is an Amazon gift card.
All systems are running on high octane as I complete the final stage of getting The Emperor's Archives ready. I'm on the dreaded copy editing phase.
I won't have a release date until I finish copy editing. This is because I don't like giving out solid dates when I'm still in the process of doing something huge.
As soon as I finish this monster task, I will announce a date and open the giveaway!
My website will launch and take off into the Interwebs on the first day of my favorite month of the year, October!
I've added a countdown to this blog because I'm excited! You should be too!
I'll be doing a giveaway to celebrate the release of The Emperor's Archives (formerly known as Beneath the Red Lamp and Other Tales). Don't tell the emperor, but one of the prizes is an Amazon gift card.
All systems are running on high octane as I complete the final stage of getting The Emperor's Archives ready. I'm on the dreaded copy editing phase.
I won't have a release date until I finish copy editing. This is because I don't like giving out solid dates when I'm still in the process of doing something huge.
As soon as I finish this monster task, I will announce a date and open the giveaway!
September 13, 2016
Workaholic Est. 0422
Workaholic Est. 0422, making and creating!
I sort of dropped off the face of social media lately (how people manage to do ten million things and still have energy to tweet up a storm on Twitter is beyond me, and I will forever admire them for that ability!).
Here's the scoop
I've been working on several exciting projects that I'm thrilled and pumped about! Believe me when I say that I've been working non-stop on these projects for the past few weeks!
Beneath the Red Lamp & Other Tales
The short sequel to The Year is Now (TYIN) will FINALLY see the light of day. I'm working on an ebook of short stories set in the empire before and after the events of TYIN.
Beneath the Red Lamp explores what becomes of Elly after the Battle of Pluto.
Details on when this will be released will be coming soon. I don't like to give out dates like candy. I need to make sure that thing is polished before I let it join the dating scene ;)
*This is not the final cover, just a placeholder.
An Actual Website
I've been building a website from scratch. I am PUMPED for this. I cannot wait to let you all see it!
It's almost ready, but I plan to release it into the wild to coincide with Beneath the Red Lamp, so keep your eyes peeled. Oh, and don't worry, The Command Deck will always be around because the blogger platform is easy to use for, well, blogging! It will be linked to the site.
Sisters
This project is my baby. I haven't been this emotionally attached to a story for a long time. It's set apart from the rest of my works because it does not take place in the empire. It takes place in another alternate reality, a much grimmer one than our own world and Elly's.
*This is not the final cover, just a placeholder.
“Sisters” as I'm calling it, is in its infancy. Yes, this will be a full fledged novel. I'm going to do something I've never done before and live tweet my progress on it. Follow #sisters422
With that being said, it is on the back burner right now (you have no idea how much it pains me to put it aside while I get Beneath the Red Lamp up and running! Copy-editing and formatting are the most tedious tasks ever, and I cannot have any distractions).
I sort of dropped off the face of social media lately (how people manage to do ten million things and still have energy to tweet up a storm on Twitter is beyond me, and I will forever admire them for that ability!).
Here's the scoop
I've been working on several exciting projects that I'm thrilled and pumped about! Believe me when I say that I've been working non-stop on these projects for the past few weeks!
Beneath the Red Lamp & Other Tales
The short sequel to The Year is Now (TYIN) will FINALLY see the light of day. I'm working on an ebook of short stories set in the empire before and after the events of TYIN.
Beneath the Red Lamp explores what becomes of Elly after the Battle of Pluto.
Details on when this will be released will be coming soon. I don't like to give out dates like candy. I need to make sure that thing is polished before I let it join the dating scene ;)
*This is not the final cover, just a placeholder.
An Actual Website
I've been building a website from scratch. I am PUMPED for this. I cannot wait to let you all see it!
It's almost ready, but I plan to release it into the wild to coincide with Beneath the Red Lamp, so keep your eyes peeled. Oh, and don't worry, The Command Deck will always be around because the blogger platform is easy to use for, well, blogging! It will be linked to the site.
Sisters
This project is my baby. I haven't been this emotionally attached to a story for a long time. It's set apart from the rest of my works because it does not take place in the empire. It takes place in another alternate reality, a much grimmer one than our own world and Elly's.
*This is not the final cover, just a placeholder. “Sisters” as I'm calling it, is in its infancy. Yes, this will be a full fledged novel. I'm going to do something I've never done before and live tweet my progress on it. Follow #sisters422
With that being said, it is on the back burner right now (you have no idea how much it pains me to put it aside while I get Beneath the Red Lamp up and running! Copy-editing and formatting are the most tedious tasks ever, and I cannot have any distractions).
August 30, 2016
2116 - Flash Fiction
This writing short is for my fellow females. Enjoy! :)
2116
The aerial tram zipped past columns of sky gardens, their iridescent domes glimmering in the sunlight as we sped away. I winced when a sudden wave of pain stung my abdomen. I bit my lower lip, fighting off the urge to curl into the fetal position.
A perpetual anger tingled my senses, burning every last ounce of blood within me. I closed my eyes and thought of 2016. Here I was exactly one hundred years in the future—that is another story in itself.
It won't be long, I told myself. And I'll never have to suffer through the monthly b.s. that comes with being female ever again. There was no way they didn't have remedies that actually worked. Hell, maybe they even had some sort of cure for the entire business—maybe one simple operation, and my body would release its damned eggs some other way.
At that thought, I tried to smile, but pain exploded in my abdomen as the tram slowed to a stop. I looked up. This was my stop.
I swallowed back the urge to cry out and staggered to the door, following the other passengers out. A glass bridge extended from the tram station's platform. Well, it probably wasn't glass, but it was clear and made my insides churn. I followed the line of passengers to the buildings on the other end.
They were sky scrapers of old, but everyone knew that the prime time real-estate was on the top floors. The best doctors were here. I immediately spotted MedTerraX's bright blue windows and their neon "Welcome!" sign and headed for it.
A receptionist in a royal blue dress greeted me with a warm smile. A tablet hovered between her slander hands.
“Good afternoon, Ms. Greene. The nurse practitioner will be right with you as scheduled.” She led me into an office. I frowned. Where was the creepy bed with the stiff paper coverings? Where was the sterile smell?
It was just a single room with two chairs at the very center of it. A framed oil portrait of the CEO of GlobalTerraX hung on the opposite wall. Various self help medical posters hung below it. The door opened behind me, and in waltzed a tall man with grey hair. He wore a smart, pin-striped suit tailored to fit his muscular form. He smiled and motioned me to sit down. A tablet hovered behind him, trailing him like a loyal dog. He waved his right hand, and it flew into it.
“Okay, Ms. Greene, this won't take long. I'm Nurse @kins. Not to worry, this is just a simple case of menstrual pain. I'm transmitting your prescription to your phone as I speak,” he said, tapping his finger on his slender tablet. The lines around his face graced his appearance, making him appear kindly. I nodded.
So the mighty cure was a pill. Fine. As long as it got rid of the constant anger and the pain. I was sick to death of having to pretend to be normal during this time of the month! I had to admit that going to the doctor in the 22nd century was a lot more efficient than in my own time.
Nurse @kins glanced up as if reading my thoughts. He smiled.
“I saw you on the news last month. So tell me, how was your experience here today? Has healthcare improved in the past century?”
“This fifteen minute trip would have been at least two hours in my day,” I said with a sheepish smile. It was true. It didn't matter if you showed up for your appointment on time, you still had to wait.
“All righty! I am glad to hear it. Once you get your prescription from the pharmacy, you'll be emailed a survey that rates your experience here at MedTerraX. Please rate us. Five is excellent, and well, we won't talk about one!” He started laughing. My phone vibrated in my pocket.
I pulled it out. An icon of a yellow pill bottle was blinking on the screen. I tapped it.
500 mg ibuprofen (20 count)
3 bars of chocolate
1 box of chamomile tea
2116
The aerial tram zipped past columns of sky gardens, their iridescent domes glimmering in the sunlight as we sped away. I winced when a sudden wave of pain stung my abdomen. I bit my lower lip, fighting off the urge to curl into the fetal position.
A perpetual anger tingled my senses, burning every last ounce of blood within me. I closed my eyes and thought of 2016. Here I was exactly one hundred years in the future—that is another story in itself.
It won't be long, I told myself. And I'll never have to suffer through the monthly b.s. that comes with being female ever again. There was no way they didn't have remedies that actually worked. Hell, maybe they even had some sort of cure for the entire business—maybe one simple operation, and my body would release its damned eggs some other way.
At that thought, I tried to smile, but pain exploded in my abdomen as the tram slowed to a stop. I looked up. This was my stop.
I swallowed back the urge to cry out and staggered to the door, following the other passengers out. A glass bridge extended from the tram station's platform. Well, it probably wasn't glass, but it was clear and made my insides churn. I followed the line of passengers to the buildings on the other end.
They were sky scrapers of old, but everyone knew that the prime time real-estate was on the top floors. The best doctors were here. I immediately spotted MedTerraX's bright blue windows and their neon "Welcome!" sign and headed for it.
A receptionist in a royal blue dress greeted me with a warm smile. A tablet hovered between her slander hands.
“Good afternoon, Ms. Greene. The nurse practitioner will be right with you as scheduled.” She led me into an office. I frowned. Where was the creepy bed with the stiff paper coverings? Where was the sterile smell?
It was just a single room with two chairs at the very center of it. A framed oil portrait of the CEO of GlobalTerraX hung on the opposite wall. Various self help medical posters hung below it. The door opened behind me, and in waltzed a tall man with grey hair. He wore a smart, pin-striped suit tailored to fit his muscular form. He smiled and motioned me to sit down. A tablet hovered behind him, trailing him like a loyal dog. He waved his right hand, and it flew into it.
“Okay, Ms. Greene, this won't take long. I'm Nurse @kins. Not to worry, this is just a simple case of menstrual pain. I'm transmitting your prescription to your phone as I speak,” he said, tapping his finger on his slender tablet. The lines around his face graced his appearance, making him appear kindly. I nodded.
So the mighty cure was a pill. Fine. As long as it got rid of the constant anger and the pain. I was sick to death of having to pretend to be normal during this time of the month! I had to admit that going to the doctor in the 22nd century was a lot more efficient than in my own time.
Nurse @kins glanced up as if reading my thoughts. He smiled.
“I saw you on the news last month. So tell me, how was your experience here today? Has healthcare improved in the past century?”
“This fifteen minute trip would have been at least two hours in my day,” I said with a sheepish smile. It was true. It didn't matter if you showed up for your appointment on time, you still had to wait.
“All righty! I am glad to hear it. Once you get your prescription from the pharmacy, you'll be emailed a survey that rates your experience here at MedTerraX. Please rate us. Five is excellent, and well, we won't talk about one!” He started laughing. My phone vibrated in my pocket.
I pulled it out. An icon of a yellow pill bottle was blinking on the screen. I tapped it.
500 mg ibuprofen (20 count)
3 bars of chocolate
1 box of chamomile tea
August 20, 2016
Exhibit G.305: Clyde Butterworth
Special character guest, RIA Agent John Smith, talks about his latest assignment. Being a secret agent is not all glam, guns, and action.
Exhibit G.305: Clyde Butterworth
I don't know why I always get tossed the weird, odd-ball missions. Maybe Director Rollins hates me, I don't know. Last week I had to track down a lunatic wearing a baseball cap wrapped in foil. Yes. I had to follow this weirdo all over town (and no, he couldn't make it easy for me and live in the city). This nutjob lived in a dumpster by the A.D. railroad tracks of a small town up in the mountains.
What did I learn?
Clyde Butterworth spent his afternoons singing incoherent songs with a voice that made you want to smack your own face with a frying pan. When he wasn't singing, he was glued to a dented flask of empire-knows-what or collecting pine cones.
And so, this “threat” to national security made last week a living hell. Honestly, what unknown atrocity did I commit to get stuck with such an empire-be-damned assignment? You might be wondering why the RIA would waste its resources on a certified lunatic.
It was all because of this letter he had somehow managed to slip under the local police chief's door. Director Rollins was convinced that this was the work of the mastermind behind the recent increase in insurgent cells around the empire.
A translation to spare you from deciphering that mess:
They're watching you. I'm watching you. Empires rise and fall, and soon they will be our masters. I am their frontman. I am their voice! They demand the release of Mitty.
Mitty is not the charismatic terrorist leader Rollins thought he was. Nope. Mitty is a dirty sock puppet our friend uses to harass people downtown. His favorite antic was,
"I AM MITTY THE GREAT! PULL MY FINGER & LISTEN TO MY TRUMPET SOLO!" I'm not going into the details. Use your imagination.
After a day of trailing this guy, I begged (yes, begged) Rollins to have this guy carted off to the nut house. But no. My boss was still convinced that this man was some sort of eccentric genius and actually said that he was impressed with his ability to disguise the truth so well.
IMPRESSED.
After a week of this torture, I submitted all the footage I had of the guy, and I was finally authorized to arrest him and drop him off at the mental health facility in Springfield.
The police chief bagged Mitty and submitted the soiled sock as evidence because this is exactly what the RIA needs to send to the lab, and please tell me you heard the sarcasm in my voice.
So here I am with an evidence bag containing the most grotesque sock I have ever laid eyes on. What should I do with it?
The first five people who answer John's question get a free copy of The Berlin Disclosure!
Send your answers to thecommanddeck@outlook.com with Mitty the Great as the subject.
Rated T for Teen – Contains foul language
The free copy is in .epub format (which works on most major tablets and eReaders). If you prefer a .pdf version, please let me know when you send your answer in.
Exhibit G.305: Clyde Butterworth
I don't know why I always get tossed the weird, odd-ball missions. Maybe Director Rollins hates me, I don't know. Last week I had to track down a lunatic wearing a baseball cap wrapped in foil. Yes. I had to follow this weirdo all over town (and no, he couldn't make it easy for me and live in the city). This nutjob lived in a dumpster by the A.D. railroad tracks of a small town up in the mountains.
What did I learn?
Clyde Butterworth spent his afternoons singing incoherent songs with a voice that made you want to smack your own face with a frying pan. When he wasn't singing, he was glued to a dented flask of empire-knows-what or collecting pine cones.
And so, this “threat” to national security made last week a living hell. Honestly, what unknown atrocity did I commit to get stuck with such an empire-be-damned assignment? You might be wondering why the RIA would waste its resources on a certified lunatic.
It was all because of this letter he had somehow managed to slip under the local police chief's door. Director Rollins was convinced that this was the work of the mastermind behind the recent increase in insurgent cells around the empire.
A translation to spare you from deciphering that mess:
They're watching you. I'm watching you. Empires rise and fall, and soon they will be our masters. I am their frontman. I am their voice! They demand the release of Mitty.
Mitty is not the charismatic terrorist leader Rollins thought he was. Nope. Mitty is a dirty sock puppet our friend uses to harass people downtown. His favorite antic was,
"I AM MITTY THE GREAT! PULL MY FINGER & LISTEN TO MY TRUMPET SOLO!" I'm not going into the details. Use your imagination.
After a day of trailing this guy, I begged (yes, begged) Rollins to have this guy carted off to the nut house. But no. My boss was still convinced that this man was some sort of eccentric genius and actually said that he was impressed with his ability to disguise the truth so well.
IMPRESSED.
After a week of this torture, I submitted all the footage I had of the guy, and I was finally authorized to arrest him and drop him off at the mental health facility in Springfield.
The police chief bagged Mitty and submitted the soiled sock as evidence because this is exactly what the RIA needs to send to the lab, and please tell me you heard the sarcasm in my voice.
So here I am with an evidence bag containing the most grotesque sock I have ever laid eyes on. What should I do with it?
The first five people who answer John's question get a free copy of The Berlin Disclosure!
Send your answers to thecommanddeck@outlook.com with Mitty the Great as the subject.
Rated T for Teen – Contains foul languageThe free copy is in .epub format (which works on most major tablets and eReaders). If you prefer a .pdf version, please let me know when you send your answer in.
The Command Deck
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