Richard Stephens's Blog, page 4

A note from Salty Tails

A note to all my adoring fans. This blog is about me! While I allow Richard his occasional tangents, I must remind him that he works for ME. I’m sorry I’ve had to do this in such a public forum but it seems you all needed a little reminder. Those of you who live with cats will totally understand.

You know, training humans can be such a headache. Why just this morning I had to wake Stormy up to get my breakfast. I actually had to bite his nose to do it. You’d of thought my grumbling tummy would have been loud enough. And then I had to hear him complain for the next five minutes.

“It’s only 4:30am, didn’t you eat enough last night? I swear Salty; I’m putting you on a diet.” Fridge door slams shut, dishes clang on the counter. “I think my nose is bleeding… I can’t believe it’s only 4:30…”

His little tirade was so loud I was sure he was going to wake the rest of the boat; Stormy can be so inconsiderate sometimes. After placing the bowl of leftover halibut on the floor, he stomped back to bed. It was delicious by the way. Oh, and you don’t have to worry about the diet thing, it’ll never happen. Just because training humans is hard doesn’t mean I’m not good at. After all, Stormy did get up and feed me at 4:30am.

Now that I have that issue cleared-up it’s time for my nap on Stormy’s computer keyboard.

Salty Tails McGuire

Why have opinions if your not going to share them…

Filed under: Cat Blog, Salty Tails Tagged: Alter Ego, Bad Cat, Blog held Hostage, Cat, Cat-Mystery-Book, Catitude, Human Training, Humor, Salty Tales

Booze Cruise

Booze Cruise

Winter in Maine is not for the faint of heart. This last winter was a perfect example. The snow pile out our front window was so high I was about ready to sell lift tickets. But as they say in Maine, if you can’t take the wintah, you don’t deserve the summah. And what beautiful summers we have.

Living in Maine means we also have a lot of water. From big lakes to small ponds, and miles and miles of gorgeous coastline, Maine is truly a boater’s paradise. I grew up boating in Maine. I spent the first part of every summer at my mom’s parent’s camp on Maranacook Lake in Winthrop. Dad would fly out in August when we’d head to his parent’s camp on Little Deer Isle.

Each place had it’s own special draw. The lake had calm, warm waters for swimming and fishing; the Penobscot Bay brought Low tides, Lobster, and great sailing. One of my fondest memories is what my parents called their, “Booze Cruise.” On calm evenings before dinner, all the adults would pour an “Adult Beverage,” of choice; throw together a tray of appetizers and head out on the boat. Fresh crab dip was my favorite. Us kids got to bring a, “virgin,” version of mom or dad’s drink, which was fun.

Once we were all aboard dad would motor us slowly out into the sparkling blue bay, shut the motor off and simply let us drift along quietly. Every cruise was different, different guest, different weather, and different moods, but always memorable.

As an adult the, “Booze Cruise,” tradition continues. At 74, Dad still skippers the boat out into the quiet bay after a busy day of fun. And every year we introduce new friends to this wonderful experience.

“There is nothing so rejuvenating to the soul as time on the water.”

Thomas “Stormy” McGuire

Pirate Tales

Filed under: Maine Tagged: alcohol, Boats, Dad, Eggemoggin Reach, Little Deer Isle, Penobscot Bay, Pirate Tales, Reminiscing, Sailing

A guy walks into a bar…

  A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink from the bartender.

  A timeless story line we all know. But it really doesn’t paint much of a picture does it. Talk about the ultimate iceberg theory. Now, if you’re like me you are probably thinking; who is the guy? What kind of bar? What kind of drink does he order?

What if I wrote ~

A silver haired gentleman in a dark pinstripe suite walked into a noisy biker bar and ordered a Pink Flamingo.

Sorry, I’ve been dying to use the words, “Pink Flamingo.” But the point is, you can picture this scene vividly.

How about ~

A pretty blond coed danced into the music filled bistro and orders a chocolate mocha latte from the tall dark barista.

Still based on the original line, but a completely different picture. The options are limited only by your imagination, and with a little practice, you can create your own story lines.

So the next time you hear, “A guy walks into a bar,” close your eyes and let your imagination run wild.

I’m waiting to see what happened to the older gentleman that ordered a, “Pink Flamingo,” in the biker bar. Gotta go, I feel another story developing…

Filed under: Maine Author Tagged: Author, Bar, funny, Richard Stephens, Story, Writing prompt