Richard Mansel's Blog, page 10

How to Talk to People with Chronic Illnesses

by Richard Mansel

People don’t know how to handle things that are different from their own life experiences. They may treat such things with dismissal or derision. However, neither are healthy alternatives when dealing with the human heart.

People with chronic illnesses battle obstacles on a daily basis. Obviously, their health captivates much of their attention and energy. They simply want to be normal. Yet, they usually find themselves alone in a crowded room.

However, a healthy person may see such constant focus as unseemly. The more sympathetic may be embarrassed or uncomfortable. They don’t know what to say or do, and they just wish the situation would go away.

How can we talk to people with chronic illnesses? Initially, let’s see what we must never do.

1. Never belittle their condition.

2. Never compare yourself to them.

3. Never treat them with silence.

People with health problems are by definition, isolated. The healthy are on the move and the sick stay behind.

Everyone wants to be respected and to be seen as having inherent worth. They didn’t ask for their problems and therefore shouldn’t be punished for them any more than they already have.

Respect that they have their condition, and that they’re still the same person. Who they are and what they have are two separate things. If they could get rid of it, they would.

Never compare your situation with theirs. One has nothing to do with the other.

Even within a group of people who suffer from the same condition, there are differences. So, how would it even be sane for a healthy person to think that they can compare themselves to someone who isn’t?

For those who are naturally isolated and looked down upon, they have the persistent temptation to feel inferior, and to see themselves as a bother to everyone.

So when they say something about their health, this is always a backdrop. How can someone who faces a problem every waking minute, not have it enter their conversations? That would be against every human impulse.

Most chronic pain people don’t want pity. If someone loses a leg, their associates feel uncomfortable, but they accept it and work around the problem.

Yet, when this disability is internal, they don’t find the same kind of respect. It’s like the problems we can’t see are somehow wrong.

Sick people have their suspicions about what others are thinking about them. Silence is a void that will be filled and likely not in a healthy manner.

The better option would be to express kindness and respect. If we care about a person and their health is a persistent issue in their life, we should accept it as a matter of course. Allow them to bring their true reality out into the open without the guilt.

In summary, be fair, loving and supportive. Don’t allow fear to prevent your good heart from showing what it can do!

How to Talk to People with Chronic Ilnesses

by Richard Mansel

People don’t know how to handle things that are different from their own life experiences. They may treat such things with dismissal or derision. However, neither are healthy alternatives when dealing with the human heart.

People with chronic illnesses battle obstacles on a daily basis. Obviously, their health captivates much of their attention and energy. They simply want to be normal. Yet, they usually find themselves alone in a crowded room.

However, a healthy person may see such constant focus as unseemly. The more sympathetic may be embarrassed or uncomfortable. They don’t know what to say or do, and they just wish the situation would go away.

How can we talk to people with chronic illnesses? Initially, let’s see what we must never do.

1. Never belittle their condition.

2. Never compare yourself to them.

3. Never treat them with silence.

People with health problems are by definition, isolated. The healthy are on the move and the sick stay behind.

Everyone wants to be respected and to be seen as having inherent worth. They didn’t ask for their problems and therefore shouldn’t be punished for them any more than they already have.

Respect that they have their condition, and that they’re still the same person. Who they are and what they have are two separate things. If they could get rid of it, they would.

Never compare your situation with theirs. One has nothing to do with the other.

Even within a group of people who suffer from the same condition, there are differences. So, how would it even be sane for a healthy person to think that they can compare themselves to someone who isn’t?

For those who are naturally isolated and looked down upon, they have the persistent temptation to feel inferior, and to see themselves as a bother to everyone.

So when they say something about their health, this is always a backdrop. How can someone who faces a problem every waking minute, not have it enter their conversations? That would be against every human impulse.

Most chronic pain people don’t want pity. If someone loses a leg, their associates feel uncomfortable, but they accept it and work around the problem.

Yet, when this disability is internal, they don’t find the same kind of respect. It’s like the problems we can’t see are somehow wrong.

Sick people have their suspicions about what others are thinking about them. Silence is a void that will be filled and likely not in a healthy manner.

The better option would be to express kindness and respect. If we care about a person and their health is a persistent issue in their life, we should accept it as a matter of course. Allow them to bring their true reality out into the open without the guilt.

In summary, be fair, loving and supportive. Don’t allow fear to prevent your good heart from showing what it can do!

Trust Luke’s Inspired Account

by Richard Mansel

In the book of Acts, we find a remarkable account of history. Not only is Acts inspired from the mind of God (2 Timothy 3:16-17), it’s recorded by a very capable, attentive and skilled historian. We can trust the message from his pen.

Despite the veracity of the Word, people still smugly doubt Luke’s account. From our modern perspective, we look down at ancient people and discount their abilities and intellect as primitive and juvenile.

However,  when we study the accomplishments of antiquity, we cannot come away with anything but awe at their capabilities. We’re still helpless in our technologically superior age to grasp the true gift of invention among these so-called barbarians.

When ancient people had indoor plumbing and Americans were still in outhouses a few decades ago, we’re foolish to say a word against our forefathers. As our new buildings crumble, we glance at the timeless pyramids and hide our face in embarrassment.

Yet, in our enlightened age, we persevere in our childishness.

In Acts 23, Luke records the story of Paul who has been falsely charged with bringing a Gentile into the temple (Acts 21:26-36).

Claudius Lysias, hearing the disturbance rushes over from the Fortress of Antonia to quell the uproar. When his queries were met with unbridled fury, and he couldn’t ascertain the reason, he pulled Paul away from their murderous hands.

Lysias learns from Paul’s nephew that men were planning to ambush them on their way to Caesarea to murder Paul. Lysias prepares a significant force to ensure the safety of the prisoner and his own men. Luke says:

“And he called for two centurions, saying, “Prepare two hundred soldiers, seventy horsemen, and two hundred spearmen to go to Caesarea at the third hour of the night” (Acts 23:23, NKJV).

People doubt this account and charge Luke with exaggerating in order to inflate Paul’s importance. However, Jerusalem was in an uproar, and Lysias was charged with bringing order. He already had several hundred men under his command, and since they were also in danger, he took advanced measures.

Ben Witherington, III in his masterful Socio-Rhetorical commentary on Acts, addresses this point with the following found on page 692:

“Even somewhat before the time of Felix, Josephus tells us of Cumanus, an imperial slave carrtying a considerable amount of money, who was attacked and robbed while on the main road from Jerusalem (War 2.228; Ant. 10.113), and somewhat later in A.D. 66 we hear of the governor of Syra with thirty-three thousand men only narrowly escaping annihilation from ill-equipped Jewish rebels at the pass that leads down to Lydda (2.540-555).”

Witherington often addresses the doubts of men and discredits their assertions with his vast knowledge of ancient literature.

Lysias writes a letter to Felix the governor and the text says:

 ”Then the soldiers, as they were commanded, took Paul and brought him by night to Antipatris. The next day they left the horsemen to go on with him, and returned to the barracks. When they came to Caesarea and had delivered the letter to the governor, they also presented Paul to him” (Acts 23:31-33).”

Once again, Witherington address the words of those who sit in their recliners and doubt that Claudius Lysias and his troops could accomplish such a task. He writes:

“Antipatris is some thirty-five miles away (by the Roman road), leaving about another twenty-five miles to Caesarea for the next day.”

Witherington gives three reasons why this is not improbable.

(1). The first days’ journey is mostly downhill;

(2) we have clear evidence of Roman troops traveling these kinds of distances in this amount of time (e.g. Ceasaer, Gallic Wars 7.40-41-twenty-five miles covered with full baggage train in twenty-eight hours, with three hours rest; in very adverse conditions twenty-seven miles was covered in one night; see Plutarch, Mark Anthony 47.2);

(3) Josephus says Sebaste in Samaria could be reached from Jerusalem in a day, and it was forty-two miles away (Ant. 15.293).

Ancient Roman troops typically marched between 20-25 miles a day. Suetonius said of Julius Caesar, ”He was highly skilled in arms and horsemanship, and of incredible powers of endurance” (Caesar, 57). Roman legions were capable of extraordinary feats.

Witherington concludes on page 697,

Armchair scholars are ill equipped to make pronouncements about the historical likelihood of such ancient journeys in such periods of time. It does not pay to underestimate what Roman troops were capable of when a crisis situation was involved, especially when the only person in this entourage perhaps not capable of such a strenuous effort due to recent abuse was riding on a horse!”

We can trust what Luke says and rejoice in his message of faith and courage in the work of the Lord.

Paul’s Amazing Voyage

This thrilling story surpasses the greatest literature ever written because it’s completely true. A mass murderer finds himself both redeemed and hunted. No matter how much good he does, his past haunts him. Yet, he’s fearless against impossible forces.

Saul, who would become Paul, is a monster ravaging the Church (Acts 8:1-3; 9:1-2). His bloodthirsty mission sends him to Damascus, where Saul stands with bloody hands before the only one who can remove the stain on his soul (1 John 1:7).

Saul is brought to his senses and to salvation by the light on the road to Damascus and the arrival of Ananias (Acts 9:3-9; 22:16).

Saul becomes Paul and is soon a force for the gospel. Paul worked under the shadow of an appointment that could not be forsaken if he remained obedient to God. Paul had to share the gospel message before kings (Acts 9:15).

Just like so many legends of literature, Paul is falsely accused and faces death at the hands of a crazed mob (Acts 21:26-36). Saved by a Roman officer, Paul winds through the justice system, appearing before Felix, Festus and King Agrippa (Acts 25-26).

Carrying out God’s plan, Paul, Luke and Aristarchus board a ship to Rome and a hearing before Caesar (Acts 27:1-2).

Luke’s lengthy recitation of Paul’s voyage to Rome was once criticized before advances in knowledge led to the begrudging realization that Luke had likely produced the greatest maritime document in the ancient world.

Little is known about ancient sailing and this story is a landmark in the field, even today. Luke’s reputation as a historian continues to soar as we learn more about the Mediterranean and the sailing methods of the day.

The exhilarating story captivates the imagination as we breathe the air, roll with the waves and feel the fear in their hearts. Facing an enormous storm that exceeded the abilities of human knowledge and skill, God saved them and continued his gospel plan (Acts 27:22-25).

Anyone who discounts this story fails to understand the gravity of the redemptive plan of God. Moreover, it makes clear the inadequacy of man and savage nature of God’s creation.

Only in God’s hands can we possibly survive the storms that rage in our lives every day. Let us cling to our Savior, so we can arrive safely on shore (Revelation 20:11-15).

Archaeology and Ancient History

As a student of ancient history, I’m always on the hunt for juicy morsels that will aid in my studies. That led me to curate a page on Scoop.It in the area of Ancient History and Archaeology. I invite you to visit my page and catch up with the latest finds in the field. I have nearly 200 stories there already.

My main interests lie in discoveries in the Bible Lands, the Roman Empire and region of the Mediterranean Sea.

The World Still Hates Truth

The first amendment to the United States Constitution says:

”Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech.”

However, as homosexuality and abortion are praised in the media, opposing voices are labeled as deviants and fools.

Public speech is no longer free as the founders intended. Efforts are under way to silence Christians from sharing what the Bible says. But this is really nothing new to God’s people. We have faced these challenges before.

“If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me [Jesus] before it hated you” (John 15:18).

The Apostles were told to stop preaching Jesus, and they replied, ”We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).

Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego stood up to the authorities and refused to stop praying to God (Daniel 3:8-18; 6:10-23).
Paul faced a mob in Ephesus (Acts 19:21-30) and another in Jerusalem (Acts 21:26-40).
Paul was stoned in Lystra (Acts 14:8-20) and faced a shipwreck in Acts 27.

Centuries later, we’re still facing the same powerful spiritual enemy (Ephesians 6:10-12).

Paul faced death on numerous occasions, but he refused to stand down against sin (2 Corinthians 11:22-33). He would not be cowed. In the last recorded chapter of his writings, he said to remain firm in the Word and face the afflictions that will come (2 Timothy 4:2-5).

“Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution” (2 Timothy 3:12).

God has not “given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).

With courage and resolve, we must be willing to give everything up to stand firm for God’s Word. He is watching and weighing our responses to the pressures of a pagan society.

Will we pass the test?

Understanding Blessings

We all want blessings from God, but we must develop spiritual maturity to understand and identify them when they come. Not everything we call a blessing is from above.

God loves his creation (John 3:16), and especially those who serve him (Isaiah 59:1-2). He sent his Son to earth to live, die and establish his church (Romans 5:6-11; Matthew 16:18).

Those who are baptized into Christ are added to the body of Jesus (Galatians 3:27; Ephesians 1:22-23).

Jesus tells us that God takes care of his children (Matthew 6:25-34). If we’ll serve God faithfully, he’ll shower us with blessings (Malachi 3:10; Philippians 4:19).

We must realize the following four important facts about blessings and examine them in terms of spiritual maturity and prayer. A deep study of God’s Word allows us amazing insight into the mind of God.

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Why Being Thankful May be Impossible

by Richard Mansel

The bane of the Western world is materialism. We’ve been known for waste and greed in the United States for a very long time. Yet, we’ve been humbled by recent developments. Has it helped?

We spend a lot of money for Thanksgiving and then we go into debt on Black Friday. We thank God for what we have on Thursday and then bow to possessions on Friday.

The American economy has been a disaster over the past decade. /1

The national debt is more than $17 Trillion.

Personal debt is more than $16 Trillion.

Almost 48 million people are on food stamps.

More than 91 million people are out of the work force

More than 21 million people are unemployed.

Despite these staggering numbers, stores are filled with consumers spending money that they don’t have for the latest toys and gadgets. Nothing can stop the swipe of credit cards.

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Dangers of Materialism

by Richard Mansel

Materialism is defined as an “interest in and desire for money, possessions, etc, rather than spiritual or ethical values”[1]. More distinctly:

“A tendency to consider material possessions and physical comfort as more important than spiritual values” [2].

This philosophy of life is destructive and insatiable. It blinds us to what we have around us. It calls us to long for what is over the next hill. When we reach it, another hill rises in the distance, and we just have to keep running.

“What a miserable thing life is: you’re living in clover, only the clover isn’t good enough”[3].

We seek happiness, but we cannot find it because it is obscured by a lust for something new. Fulfillment becomes an unobtainable dream. We hunger for what we cannot have because our worldview is tainted.

Materialism reigns in our lives and we cannot see the unhappiness that absorbs us. We run after that which we cannot catch. Accordingly, depression becomes a natural consequence.

“Unhappiness and materialism are mutually reinforcing mechanisms”[4].

Today’s parents exist in a whirlwind of activity and their children largely raise themselves. In order to keep their offspring’s anger and resentment at bay, parents try to fill the void with things. Hoping to appease their children, they keep buying in a relentless pursuit of absolution.

Yet, it cannot be done. It is another of Satan’s lies (John 8:44).

“Not surprisingly, kids who are overindulged materially tend to have the worst relationships with their parents. Money can’t buy love, but it sure seems to finance some serious familial discord”[5].

“In Born to Buy, one of the most comprehensive analyses of consumerism in kids, professor Juliet Schor explains that the more kids buy into the commercial culture, the more likely they are to suffer from depression, anxiety, headaches, stomach aches and boredom. Adolescents with more materialistic values are more likely to engage in risky behavior, such as smoking, drinking and illegal drug use. They are more likely to suffer personality disorders like narcissism, separation anxiety, paranoia and attention deficit disorder”[6].

The only answer is to renounce the Western obsession with materialism and seek a better way. God calls us to simplicity and a spiritual mindset that rises above this world and its trappings.

Money is not the answer to fulfillment because it takes our eyes off of God (Luke 12:16-21; Exodus 20:3).

We need to learn to discern between wants and needs and we must seek fulfillment in healthier venues.

“Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content” (1 Timothy 6:6-8).

In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus tells us that he will take care of us. The conflict comes when we are not satisfied with what he gives us. To resolve this conflict, we must learn to develop a spiritual mindset on wealth, as found in God’s Word (1 Timothy 6:10).

Like everything in our lives, money is to bring glory to God, not ourselves (Ephesians 3:20-21). From this perspective, everything else is easier to understand.

__________

[1] http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/materialism

[2] http://tinyurl.com/c8yysjb

[3] http://www.tentmaker.org/Quotes/greedquotes.htm

[4] http://www.compassionatespirit.com/high-price-of-materialism.htm

[5] http://tinyurl.com/76mxwhs

[6] Ibid.

 

Seven Ways to Build Tension in Your Writing

The following clip from the film, “No Country for Old Men,” presents an honors class for writing an unforgettable scene.

In this brilliantly acted and directed scene, we find a masterpiece of suspense. It builds slowly and inexorably, and the viewer is filled with dread. Joel and Ethan Coen directed this 2007 film and adapted the screenplay from a novel by Cormac McCarthy.

Without histrionics, profanity, special effects or violence, the director and the writer work together to lure the viewer into their web.

Javier Bardem is a man whom the viewer knows nothing about except that he is paranoid and insane. He is reminiscent of Robert Mitchum’s character, Max Cady, in the 1962 film, “Cape Fear.” Both characters are without any hint of redeeming qualities and men with whom you instantly feel uncomfortable.

Unlike Cady, Bardem’s motivations are impossible to read, which makes them more disturbing. He steals a car and stops to buy some gas. Veteran character actor Gene Jones is perfectly cast as the proprietor of the store.

Let’s see how they do it and make application to our writing.

1. Tighten the tension with silence.

On the screen, music is a guide. Yet, in a scene of suspense it can become the musical version of a laugh track. The ancient idea of music spiking with the suspense makes viewers lazy. They fade out and snap back to the action when the music alerts them. Without the music, the viewer loses the place-card and must focus exclusively on the scene before them.

In our writing, we can distract the reader with our choice of vocabulary, background action, and a host of other things. When we write suspense, we need to slow down and create a vacuum  around the characters in the scene so the reader is lured in.

2. Control with claustrophobia

The small room where Bardem and Jones stand has several windows. Yet, the viewer still feels the room become smaller as the coil tightens.

We can see the outside world behind Jones, and his separation from it has psychological benefits. If their conversation took place outside, it wouldn’t be as frightening because Jones could flee in any direction. Yet inside he is alone with a predator.

Bardem’s intelligence and control take even more air from the room so Jones has less of it at his disposal. As the victim, we cannot think rationally, and Bardem knows exactly how to slowly wrench that control from Jones’ hands.

Bardem’s soft, slow voice is perfect. It enhances the suspense and grabs the viewer so they must listen more carefully. This doesn’t work as well on the page as it does the screen, however the writer can set this up by mentioning his slow cadence earlier in the story.

The intelligence and self-control of the antagonist is crucial to a good plot.

3. Create a hint of escape.

The only crack in Bardem’s icy composure is when he appears to choke on a nut. For a fleeting second, the viewer hopes that the victim will escape. Build too much hopelessness into a scene, and it becomes a spectacle instead of suspense.

4. Less is more.

The true power of this scene is how sparse it is. Bardem says nothing about himself and stays quiet to judge his prey as he studies him very carefully. Writers should take this to heart.

Suspense comes more from the undertones rather than the dialogue. The spoken word should hint, then dart away leaving the reader to supply their own. Leave their minds racing to fill the void, and it draws them into the scene even more. Hitchcock did this perfectly in “Psycho.”

This point is exemplified by the moment when Bardem drops the wrapper on the counter and everyone watches it slowly unfurl. That is more frightening that any scene of violence.

5. Have some missing pieces.

Bardem is working on a completely different plan than Jones and the less Jones knows the better. Bardem is completely in control. Jones wants to please his customer so he is restrained by the code of retail. Jones’ intrigue intensifies as he tries desperately to figure out what is going on.

Since the viewer knows more than the actor, we are more fearful for his safety. The coin toss is brilliant because only we know what happens if Jones loses because we know what Bardem is capable of doing. While we are afraid, Jones is baffled and will never know how close he came to dying.

6. Make it real.

We need to write scenes based on how people would act. Jones’ reactions to the fear are normal and that enhances the scene because we have an everyman faced with a monster.

7.  Leave something behind.

The filmmakers leave Jones with his life and a coin. We are left with relief and a reminder that our lives are likewise very fragile. Jones was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and that makes it all the more frightening. We can lose our lives so easily in a violent world.

Movies and literature can remind us that we are always within a hairbreadth of death at all times. Subsequently, we should value our lives and loved ones more every day. That is a valuable lesson and a necessary take-away for writers to leave for their readers.