Sam T Willis's Blog, page 4

Post-launch excitement

Wow.  It’s been quite a time these last few days.  I’d like to take a breath here.

The New Program launched on 3/29, two weeks ago today.  Due to some technical difficulties it was free everywhere but on Amazon for the first 11 days.  Still, by any measure I had more downloads (and sales) than I’ve ever had in the 11 days after launch.  That was to be expected, free books are free, but still.  Helps the ego.  

Afterlife of The Night Dragon(s)

(s)

The Night Dragon awoke quite suddenly
In a strange,
Glowing red room.
The Night Dragon was there.
So was The Night Dragon,
The Night Dragon,
The Night Dragon,
And you get the idea.
They were all there.
The most recently deceased amongst them,
The Night Dragon,
Was like:
“Am I dead?”
To which the raccoon The Night Dragon responded:
“Probably.”
And the vampire The Night Dragon,
Who was used to the fact that the raccoon The Night Dragon
Had recently learned to speak,
Elaborated thusly:
“We’re pretty sure we all died.
“We’re also pretty sure the lava we fell in was magic.”
At which point the Order of the Militant Grammarians The Night Dragon interjected:
“It was magma.
“It was underground when we fell in.”
Which led the evil The Night Dragon to stab him in the face,
Which didn’t do anything,
Lending credence to the idea that they were all already dead.
The Night Dragon,
Being dead,
Was cured of her medical inability to be daunted.
She was,
Nonetheless,
Undaunted.
A conversation began immediately.
The long and short of that conversation,
Which was long in content
But short in time
Because of the apocalyptic situation going on outside,
Was that now that they were all dead
And didn’t have to worry about being killed any more,
And were furthermore in control of a giant lava person
They were going to use their giant lava power to defeat
The Dragon of the Night
Once and for all.
It seemed,
To The Night Dragon,
To be a better plan than all of the other ones they’d tried,
Which were pretty much all doomed from the get-go.
There was a problem,
Though.
It turned out that,
While they were having this long and short conversation inside the body of the lava person
The Dragon of The Night was still in the world outside
And it was beating the crap out of the lava person
With its various dragonly appendages.

The New Program launch day!

Here we are: launch day for The New Program.  I’m keeping this one sort of low-key for a few different reasons, not the least of which is the fact that I’m terrified of marketing and I’m taking the easy way out.  Considering that, for my first two book releases, the sum total of my promotions was a couple tweets and posts on Facebook to accompany closing my eyes and hurling ePubs into the ether, we’re going to call this a gradual step up.  The New Program gets blog posts, its own landing page, and more tweets and Facebook posts than the other ones ever did.  We’re moving in the right direction!

It’s a terrifying direction.

There’s also the fact that the book is a novella, not a full-blown novel, and that it’s free.  And that I’m having some minor technical difficulties (it’s apparently not actually free on Amazon just yet).  If you’d like to read a copy, I’d recommend heading over to Smashwords, Barnes and Noble or iTunes for the time being.  I’m sure I’ll be tweeting from the mountaintops when the Amazon link is ready.

If you’re new to The Primer, or my work in general, now is a great time to jump in.  The New Program is free, Break is free for everyone who subscribes to my newsletter, and Beaten will be on extra-special sale next month to celebrate The Volunteer‘s impending release.  They’re a series, but not an episodic one–you can read any of the three (or four, as the case will soon be) without reading the others, and you won’t be lost.  We’re building a world here–the layers interlock, but they don’t depend upon one another.  I can promise plenty of suspense, tension, intrigue, and the occasional burst of violence.

Starting with Book 5–which is so early in development that it doesn’t even have a proposed name, things are going to start to converge.  But that’s a story for another day.  For now, grab yourself a free copy of The New Program and take a look.  If you like it, come one back here.  There’s plenty more.  Thanks for reading.

-Sam

#SnippetSunday: The New Program

Back after a long absence is Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors.  This time we have a very special installment, in honor of my new novella coming out later this week.  Without further ado, on to The New Program…

“You’re exaggerating the situation to an absurd degree, Marcia, and I think you know that.  It’s a new form of therapy with a remarkably high success rate.  That’s all it is.  You should be excited about it.  No one is going to come out of it a robot or brainwashed, they’re simply going to come out of it reformed.  Perhaps you’re not….”

“If you say I’m not thinking clearly because I’m pregnant I’m going to walk up to your office and beat you to death with a crib bumper.  Don’t think I won’t do it; I’ve got the ugliest one you’ve ever seen in my trunk.”

He cracks a smile.  So he can’t be that angry.  I’m probably not going to get fired today.

The Lava The Night Dragon

(s)

The thing that was there

Behind The Night Dragon

Was made of molten lava.

It was about five hundred feet tall,

And it was vaguely anthropomorphic.

That’s right.

It was:

The Night Dragon.

Like, a bunch of them.

All melted together

In magical lava form

And stomping towards them like a creature

Of unadulterated,

Flaming fury.

It was also destroying everything in its path,

Like even worse than The Dragon of the Night had destroyed it,

Because in addition to being this gigantic,

Super-heavy thing,

It was also about a billion degrees hot

And most things can’t handled being walked on

By a gigantic,

Super-heavy thing,

That happens to also be a billion degrees hot.

The Dragon of the Night,

Being in the middle of a huge temper tantrum,

Didn’t notice The Lava The Night Dragon approaching

Until The Lava The Night Dragon punched it

Right in its stupid,

Giant,

Crying,

Ugly

Dragon head.

Then it started crying a whole bunch more because,

In addition to being super sad about missing out on whatever that Pokemon was,

It was also super in pain for being punch

By a super-big fist that was a million degrees hot.

Plus,

While it was crying,

The Lava The Night Dragon was pressing its advantage

By punching The Dragon of the Night a whole bunch more times

In all its various dragon parts.

The Night Dragon hopped on her motorcycle,

Which she was already on,

And drove up onto a big platform thing that was conveniently placed next to

The Lava The Night Dragon

So that she could converse with the giant creature,

Which she had somehow figured out was composed of her former allies

Despite the fact that it just looked like a giant sentient lava blob person.

Unfortunately for her,

The Lava The Night Dragon wasn’t used to being super huge,

Nor used to being made of lava,

So it didn’t notice her approach,

And furthermore it didn’t notice just how close it was

To the big platform that was conveniently placed near it.

It took a step backwards,

Preparing a punch like you wouldn’t believe,

And stepped right onto said conveniently placed big platform,

Melting the crap out of it,

Including The Night Dragon and her motorcycle.

So,

You know,

A little good news,

A little bad news.

But!

Luckily for everyone!

The Dragon of the Night had stopped crying.

Unluckily for everyone,

It had decided to redirect the effort

That it had been spending on crying

On killing instead.

Reviews are great

Usually.

I read the reviews before I buy just about anything.  Other than clothes, I guess.

And food.

Though, actually, I read restaurant reviews.  But not grocery store reviews, and certainly not grocery reviews.

Except one time when I was trying to find really good Vanilla Syrup.  (Fox’s U-Bet was the winner.)

The point (other than the fact that I’m incapable of making wide, sweeping statements without a series of increasingly specific qualifiers) is that reviews are an important part of the decision-making process these days.  That’s how it is for me, and I assume that’s how if is for lots of other people, because otherwise the sheer preponderance of reviews and review aggregation sites on the Internet wouldn’t make any sense.

The point of reading reviews (or even just looking at the rating built from the averages of all the existing reviews) it to both A. to facilitate a positive experience and B. avoid a mistake by learning from other people’s experiences.  The process just failed me pretty hard on purpose B a few months back (terrible experience with a service that had wonderful reviews), but looking back at it there were plenty of clues buried in the reviews that could have tipped me off that things weren’t going to work out if I’d looked hard enough.

But I’m off on a tangent again.  Bad experiences aren’t what I want to talk about.  I want to talk about good experiences and the propagation thereof through the magic of reviews.  As an author, in theory I depend on reviews of my products (you know, those books I keep linking) to improve product visibility and to, essentially, get my foot in the door.  Because any random person, unless they’re super into naval history, has never heard of Sam Willis, let alone Sam T Willis, who has nothing to do with naval history.  But if that random person is searching on Amazon for some intrigue, suspense and murder, the cover and those shiny gold stars next to my title are pretty much all I’ve got to grab their attention.

I’d like to think that my books provide the readers with positive experiences.  My opinion on the matter is just about the least important one in the world, though, as for obvious reasons I’m not going to go out and write myself glowing reviews.  I’m also not going to reach out to people and demand that they write me glowing reviews, because I’m not in the business of dictating anyone’s opinion to them, and anyways honest feedback is always more interesting (and useful) than astroturfing.  I’m just going to ask that, if you picked up any of my books and it made enough of an impression that you stuck through until the end, that you take a few minutes and post your thoughts (and however many of those little gold stars you think I’ve earned) on whatever review aggregation site you choose.  I’d love to hear from you, just as the authors of the other books you’ve enjoyed (or hated) would love to know what you think of their work.

In the end, I’m doing this because I love the idea of my stories winding up in other people’s brains.  The Internet has made it plenty easy for me to deliver the stories, but if they wind up in your brains the Internet isn’t going to send your thoughts back to be (yet…?).  It’s up to you.  Thanks for reading.  And for thinking.

Escape of The Night Dragon(s)

(s)

The Dragon of The Night wandered through the town

As slowly as it possibly could,

Because each of its strides were so large that,

By taking a single step

It was violating the Pokemon GO speed limit.

It caught a bunch of new Pokemon

But not Phanpy.

The cute little elephant thing seemed to elude its grasp.

All the while,

The Night Dragon followed The Dragon of the Night

On a motorcycle,

Shouting things at it like

“Don’t you want to go back underground and play?”

But it didn’t want to go back underground to play.

It didn’t like it underground.

There wasn’t nearly enough stuff to smash down there.

Then,

Suddenly,

It stopped walking.

There was something there.

The Night Dragon waited

While the Dragon of The Night swiped endlessly at its giant phone.

The wait was long.

The Dragon of The Night couldn’t manage a very good curveball on account of its talons

And evidently whatever it was trying to catch was elusive.

Finally, after what seemed like six hundred thousand hours of trying,

The Dragon of The Night roared with a rage

So violent

That a nearby mountain sublimated instantly,

And everyone who lived near that mountain

Had to breathe mountain-gas instead of air

And that killed them.

You can’t breathe mountain-gas.

It’s like the worst gas.

The Dragon of The Night started stomping around,

Each stomp so stompy that it cause an earthquake thousands of miles away

Through the magic of plate tectonics.

The Night Dragon shouted as loudly as she could.

She shouted these words,

To be specific:

“What happened?”

The Dragon of the Night stopped stomping

And looked down at her.

“There was a thing!

“A legendary thing!

“And it ran away!”

And then it resumed stomping,

Probably even harder than before.

The Night Dragon was reasonably sure

That it was crying.

Clearly she needed a new plan.

But she didn’t have a new plan.

That was literally her only plan.

Undaunted,

(We’re just going to assume she’s undaunted from now on,

since she has that medical condition that was described earlier)

She spun around pointlessly.

Then she screamed.

There was something super scary over there.

She wasn’t even really clear on what it was.

The New Program

Coming Spring 2017

History repeats itself…

In the 1940’s and 50’s, the United States Penitentiary in Odessa was home to a revolutionary inmate rehabilitation program: a fast, simple miracle surgery that could reform even the most hopeless case in minutes.  Recipients were rendered quiet, docile, and manageable.

The surgery was called “transorbital lobotomy.”

Now, more than sixty years later, Odessa is getting a new program.  It’s just as promising as lobotomy, with none of the mess.  And the Long-term Inmate Research and Rehabilitation group says it’s completely reversible.

They say it’s been a huge success everywhere they’ve tried it.

And that the details are classified.

Marcia Trembley, a correctional unit supervisor for USP Odessa, has worked with inmates for long enough to know that there’s no such thing as a magic bullet for rehabilitation.  She can see history repeating itself.  If only someone, anyone, would believe her….

 

Rampage of The Dragon of The Night (Dragon(s))

(s)

The Night Dragon pulled her truck up to the spot

Where The Dragon of the Night was rampaging,

Several miles away from where it had been rampaging

When she left the rampage

Some time ago.

Said Dragon of the Night was plucking giant, irreplaceable redwoods,

Each hundreds of feet tall,

Out of the ground,

And throwing them into a giant bowl of soup

Which it had constructed

Out of a college football stadium

And a bunch of flaming gasoline.

While it was destroying some of the wonders of the natural world

It was also accidentally slapping fighter jets

And bomber jets

And puncher jets

And kicker jets

Out of the air with its tail

Because it was a really dangerous dragon monster is the point I’m trying to make here.

You didn’t want to mess with it.

The Night Dragon,

Undaunted because she’d suffered a head injury in one of her motorcycle crashes

And was left unable to experience the sensation of daunting,

Parked at the base of The Dragon of the Night

And yelled up to the destructive force beyond the limits of the imagination.

“Hey!  Cell service is fixed!  And I brought you a new phone!”

Even though its ears were several miles away,

The Dragon of the Night was especially sensitive to any mention of phones

Because it was addicted,

And thus it stopped what it was doing and turned to look at the

Aircraft carrier-sized cell phone that The Night Dragon had dragged to its feet.

Pokemon Go had already been loaded up

And was on the screen

Waiting for The Dragon of the Night to start catching things.

But The Dragon of the Night scoffed.

“I’ve moved on,”

Said it, scoffing scoffily.

“I decided the simplistic gameplay and lack of any immersive multiplayer stopped that game from being any more than a passing novelty.”

The Night Dragon would have been daunted just then,

Because her plan had failed,

But we’d already established that she had a medical condition

Wherein she could not be daunted

Even if she tried to be daunted

Which she wasn’t doing

Because no one in their right mind would ever try to be daunted;

That wouldn’t even make any sense.

So she said:

“But they just released Generation two!”

The Dragon of the Night paused.

Because,

Though it had been completely sure just a moment before

That it was done with that stupid game,

It thought Phanpy was just about the cutest thing possible.

And it seemed,

For a moment at least,

Like the rampage might be over.

You want announcements? #TheVolunteer

We’ve got announcements!

First off, as you may have already noticed, we’ve done some redecorating.  Lots of little tweaks here and there, on the book pages and things.  More changes to come.

Secondly: I’ve got a book cover for you.  It looks almost nothing like the book cover I shared way back in the olden days.

So there’s that.  In the name of The Volunteer, I hereby lay claim to the hashtag #TheVolunteer too.  :Þ.

Third on the agenda…another book cover!

Wait…what’s this?  This wasn’t even going to exist a week ago, but it exists now.  The New Program is a novella, similar in length to Break, and sharing a universe with them.  It’s going to be out soon, and it’s going to be free.  Permanently.  So we’ve got that going for us.

I’m fighting with myself right now on whether or not to just announce the release date for The Volunteer, but I think it’s going to stay under wraps for the time being.  It’s set, though.  And the book is done.  Looking forward to spring.  These are exciting times.