Stacey Thacker's Blog, page 4

Endurance and Not Losing Heart

Endurance is not losing heart.

It happens to be my word for 2016. I’d like to choose another on days like today. When the doctor orders two big tests you wish like crazy you could do it for her. Oh what he is working in her heart and mine.

“…we celebrate in seasons of suffering because we know that when we suffer we develop endurance. Which shapes our characters. When our characters are refined, we learn to hope and anticipate God’s goodness.” Romans 5:3-4

So here we are in the refining looking with expectation of his goodness.

Hope does not put us to shame. (Romans 5:5)

xo,

Stacey

Coming September 2016!

I am so excited to share with you the cover of my new book!

I love it so much! I am grateful that Harvest House Publishers worked with me on the vision I had for this book . I can’t wait for you to read what is on the inside. It officially releases on September 1, 2016 but I’m scheming a plan that might let you read it a little earlier. You will want to be signed up for my free newsletter called The Coffee Club to be part of the launch team!

Thanks for celebrating with me!

xo,

Stacey

What I Wore

Happy Wednesday! I have posted the past couple of weeks of What I Wore on Instagram because life has been crazy! I’m blaming the book release on that. And also teaching school and the driving back and forth to all the places.  This post should be subtitled, “Boots are Back” because I just noticed I wore them all week. But I am not sorry because I was freezing.I think summer is coming back soon. I won’t lie, since I can’t feel my hands I’m pretty much ready for it.

Here is what I wore with my boots!

Left:Hoodie (CAbi), Shirt (Loft), Jeans and scarf (American Eagle), Boots (gift).

I would live in this CAbi hoodie if I could. It is a few years old, but it is perfect when you really need a blanket with you because did I mention I was freezing all week? I may have also begged the cute scarf from my daughter.

Left Center: Shirt and jeans (American Eagle), White T (Loft), Boots (same)

Denim on denim is tricky. I think I have finally figured out after watching Fixer Upper and Joanna pull it off, it helps to have on white under the shirt. Just another reason to love that show.

Right Center: Jacket (Stitch Fix), Shirt (Nordtrom Rack), Jeans (same), Necklace (American Eagle), Cuff (Farmgirl)

I love this jacked and it might have to do with the fact it has shoulder pads. It makes me fondly remember the 1980’s. It also has sleeves you can push up and that works well for short girls like me.

Right: Sweater, shirt, leggings (Loft), Boots (same)

This is so cozy and I will be looking for more long and thin cardigans. They are my new favorite thing. It is still in stores and you can find it here!

 

Thanks for stopping by! It is good to be back. Next week, I’m going to try my best to NOT wear the boots ever day. Unless of course I do.

xo,

Stacey

 

What I Wore

Hello brand new year! Hello Wednesday! Hello What I Wore! I have a couple new items I received for Christmas gifts that I am loving!

 

Let’s start with these throwback white Converse! Do you remember my navy blue Blog Shoes? I think these are my new replacements!  Here are a few other things I wore this week!

Left: Cardigan (Target), T-shirt (IU Bookstore), Jeans (American Eagle), Shoes (Kohls)

I had to support my team this week! It was the 40th anniversary of the 1976 team and so, you know, Go IU! I do love this graphic t-shirt because it is comfy and it pairs well with my fave boyfriend cardigan!

Center: Shirt (Loft), Lace Tank (Grace and Lace), Jeans (same), Boots (Gifted), Necklace (Kory Lane)

This new shirt is exactly like another blue shirt I have. I just love this style. Dress up. Dress down. Roll sleeves. So easy to wear! I picked it out for my Christmas present with a gift card from my girls! They know me well….

Right: Hoodie (CABi), Flannel (Target), Jeans (Same), Boots (gifted).

Hoodie and flannel because it was freezing on Monday. Also, I might have pretty much slept in that same outfit with a substitute of leggings. I did remove the bots.

I hope you have a great week! Thanks for stopping in today!

xo,

Stacey

3 Ways Motherhood is Just Like Middle School

When I was in 6th grade I made an epic fashion mistake. Lured by promise of looking just like one of Charlie’s Angels I asked my mom, my personal hair stylist, to cut my hair. But this would not just be any hair cut. I wanted my hair to “feather” on the sides. If you are not a child of the 1980’s you may have no idea what this means. It was the definition of cool where your hair would stay beautifully wind swept on the sides for hours. Oh there might be Aqua Net involved, but wind swept was worth it.

There was this one girl in my school who had the most perfect hair. I think her hair decided on the first day of middle school to feather on its own. I tried everything to look like her. It just wasn’t meant to be I suppose.

My hair never did feather.

I fumbled my way through those years trying to be seen and also trying to hide at the same time. Neither worked very well.  Lately I’ve been thinking about how motherhood is just like middle school some days. Maybe you can relate:

Awkward Insecurity:

I was a smart kid and a hard worker. But book smart did not necessarily translate to socially smart. I remember being pretty comfortable during class time but the hallway was a whole different story. The bell would ring for us to move classrooms and suddenly it was like walking though my worst nightmare because “BOYZ” and “Cool Kids” and all the walking from one place to another.. Worse yet, I might actually have to get from point A to point B alone without my BFF. I mean can you feel yourself sweating?

Mothering has a way of magnifying awkward insecurities. When I brought my first baby home I had the thought ringing in my head, “Do they KNOW I’m taking her home? What in the world do I do with this tiny human?” I looked into her intense blue eyes and tried like crazy to make her hair cooperate (she is so related to me) and I had those same feelings of “Can I really do this?” These days, I look at that same girl, now sixteen and I think pretty much the same thing. “How in the world did we get here and how do I manage the next couple of years before the whole game changes?”

2.   Fear of Failure:

What is worse than failing? Failing in front of others. Awkward insecurity may keep you from trying, but fear of failure will probably cause something else to happen. You will work twice as hard to make sure no one sees you are struggling. Just keep swimming, moving, and make sure no one knows what is really driving you.

Fear is a nasty task master.

I had a coach in 7th grade  who was big on rules. They weren’t bad in and of themselves, but for a girl like me who was eager to please everyone these rules became my haven. If I just did ” it” all right everything would be fine.

character (check)
uniform neat (check)
grades (all A’s of course)
friend to all (check)

I worked myself into a fit trying to avoid failure. I still do at times. When your biggest fear is failure, things like rest and peace tend to get lost in the mix. Girls can I tell you a secret? I still mentally check off those same things on Mondays while sipping my over creamed coffee. Only the coach is in my own heart. The struggle is real.

3.  Undesirable:

The hair feathering fiasco set me up nicely for more than  a few years of wondering if I would ever be chosen.

“See, I know what it feels like to be passed by and ignored. My first memory of being passed by was in the eighth grade. I was one of the only girls not to have a date to our eighth grade dance. I really wanted one particular boy to ask me. But he chose someone else. I thought about staying home that night and watching a movie instead, but my mom encouraged me to pick out a pretty dress and go anyhow. She bought me a pink corsage and I cried when she pinned it on me.” (from  the Hope for the Weary Mom Devotional)

Undesirable is a deeply felt emotion.

Is it any wonder this showed up again in my mothering years. It is so easy to fade into the background of your own life as a mom and play the wallflower. There is more to the story from 8th grade and I’d love to share it with you. (**see below). But for now know this, that same girl who felt those things back in 1985 still pushes back feelings of being undesirable, passed by, and picked last. I felt those things all within the last 24 hours. Who wants a weary mom, who looks tired, is busy raising four vibrant girls and can’t quite keep her shopping list down to one trip per week?

Who wants that girl?

Jesus wants that girl.

He whispers over my awkward insecurities: blameless

He persists on telling me when I fear failure: free

He shouts over the voice that cries undesirable: chosen

“God chose us to be in a relationship with Him even before He laid out plans for this world; He wanted us to live holy lives characterized by

love, free from sin, and blameless before Him.”

Ephesians 1:4 The Voice

And on the days my heart is ready to receive it, we dance in the kitchen even though my hair still isn’t close to feathering.

xo,

Stacey

***There is more to this middle school story contained in one of the dev0tions from my new book (co-written with the lovely Brooke McGlothlin) called the Hope for the Weary Mom Devotional: A 40 Day Journey. All you need to do to receive it is subscribe to my newsletter, The Coffee Club. Just click here, subscribe and your sample devotional , He Chose You, will be sent to you automatically.

P.S. Join the Coffee Club for your free devo sampler.

 

Why We Need to Tell The Truth About Motherhood

I can’t tell you how many times a mom says something like this about Hope for the Weary Mom:

How did you know what was going on in my head and my heart? Did you read my journal?”

I smile and tell them I have not been stalking them on their most weary days. I have my own weary days  thank you very much and they are just like theirs. Somewhere along the way we buy into the lie (and it is a big one) that all the other moms have it TOGETHER. They do not look weary like me. They are rocking this mom thing like a boss and I am not.

And in my unofficial research on the matter, nothing could be further from the truth. Most moms feel just like you and I do. I think what has been so overwhelming for me is getting to look at another weary mom in the eyes and say, “I understand. I’m a weary mom, too.” Inevitably they cry, and then I cry, and then we are sisters for life.

Brooke and I have took that veil of “I’m fine” off years ago and even though we thought other moms might run from us, they didn’t. They rallied and said “Today I’m choosing hope. ” I love what Brooke said about it, “Stories about the sweetness, the glory, and the good are necessary, but moms need to know they’re not alone in the hard times, the sweaty times, the messy times, too.”  We call these stories, “Dear Weary Mom…”

Today some of my favorite writers in the whole world are sharing their own True Stories of motherhood in a free email series from Hope for the Weary Mom:

Check out the line-up…

Mandy Rose (of House of Rose) shares about not always being a superhero…
Wynter Evans Pitts (of For Girls Like You Magazine) talks about the one, most important thing for weary moms to do…
Jeannie Cunnion (author of Parenting the Wholehearted Child) shares about one of those mornings that almost made her give up…
Crystal Stine (of Crystal Stine.me) reminds us that one thing stays absolutely true in the end…
And Brooke sharing about that girl who’s watching everything you do…and the importance of choosing hope for her sake as much as yours.

They are yours for free when you sign up right here:

When we tell the truth about motherhood, not only do we realize we are not alone, we are freed up to run to Jesus who said:

Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

That is our greatest prayer. Weary moms running together to Jesus for the rest and hope only he offers,

xo,

Stacey

P.S. These “Truth Stories” are based on our new book called the “Hope for the Weary Mom Devotional: A 40 Day Journey” find out more here.

Dear Weary Mom…Start with Hope

Dear Weary Mom,

We passed each other in the cereal aisle today at the grocery store. I may have unintentionally overheard you negotiating with your four year old about how much sugar his sugar cereal could have. I smiled to myself and secretly wanted to give you a fist bump and say, “Solidarity Sister.” You won the victory right there in front of the Lucky Charms and I was proud. But, I know, as do you, that mothering is about a million tiny little conversations we have day in and day and and day out. When you add them all up together they shout love but in the process wear us flat out.

Lately, I find myself weary in ways I can’t quit. It isn’t like I can NOT drive my kids to school or feed them lunch. They need me and there are days when the need overwhelms my ability to meet it. In fact, it seems like that is more the norm than not. But the truth is, no matter how big my weariness feels, I am reminded that nothing I face today is impossible for Jesus.

He is able.

He is my rescuer.

He holds me together.

He is good.

He cares for me.

And when I take a few moments each day to set my mind on these promises from His Word my perspective changes and HOPE rises. I may still look like a weary mom, but my heart is encouraged.

My friend Brooke McGlothlin sat together a couple of years ago and dreamed of a book packed with powerful truths for a weary mom’s heart. We prayed about it and asked God to give us His words for moms like us. Last summer we each wrote on 20 of these truths and pulled them together into a book. Today, that book is finally available where ever books are sold:

I think it is the perfect way to start 2016 with HOPE.

I wrote most of these truths while stuffed into a booth at Panera Bread last summer. I would order a diet coke and eat a cookie and write during hot summer afternoons. Can I tell you a secret? I cried while I wrote this book. My heart was healing from the soul shattering loss of my daddy a few months before. These truths were balm to my brokenness. Still today, when I read it, tears well up in my eyes. They mean so much to this weary mom and they always will.

Tonight we are celebrating and you are invited to our Facebook Party starting at 9:00PM EST on the MOB Society page. We will talk about moms stuff and giveaway some fun prizes. I will probably cry too.

You can always say, “Solidarity sister.” And we will fist bump the air.

I sure hope you stop by to celebrate.

xo,

Stacey

 

P.S. Oh and one more thing. There are about 400 moms already reading this devotional in a group called #startwithHOPE. It isn’t too late to join. Find out more, here.

 

My 2015 What I Wore Look Book #favorites

Happy 2016! As we look at this new year with hope, I thought it would be fun to share my favorite looks from 2015’s What I Wore series!

 

January/February

What I love about these outfits is layers. Since we have eternal summer here in Florida the few days that bring a chill to the air are much appreciated! And of course, you know how I love my boots.

 

March/April

What can I say except I like denim. The jacket is my favorite piece from Stitch Fix and I also really love the white jeans from Loft because you can dress up without really dressing up, right?

 

May/June

Never underestimate the value of a great jacket or a dress. I have said before that maxi skirts are the new yoga pants for moms. This one from Target is my favorite.

 

July/August

I received an Anthropologie gift card for my birthday and quickly ordered this utility vest. The tunic dress was given to me by a friend who has great taste and couldn’t use it. I’m a fan of friends who bring you cute clothes.

 

September/October

Maybe you know this, or maybe you don’t but I teach Kindergarten, 4th grade, 7th grade, and at times 10th grade—because homeschool. I think these pictures support my teacher status pretty well. I have not owned a denim jumper since the 1990’s however and really can’t rock a top knot to save my life. Also, the layered necklace I wore to speak at Raising Generations is such a beauty from Rahab’s Rope. (which I received in my Fair Trade Friday Box)

 

November/December

 

A few years ago I broke up with my skinny jeans. But, you should probably know I’m also pretty fickle because they are back and so are their BFF’s black leggings. I love when I get to wear them. I will not, however be waring printed leggings of any kind. Those really scare me to death.

 

Thank you so much for a fun What I Wore year! I hope you know that I enjoy these posts as much as you do. I am by no means a fashion blogger (though I can dream) or an expert in style. I am a mom who gets up, gets dressed, and tries her best to pull something on that makes me feel a bit less weary than I do. You will notice lots of Loft & Target items with a few pieces from Stitch Fix. The most expensive item was the black jacket which I bought on a whim. It probably feels the least like me, but I do so love it.

I’m looking forward to 2016. You can be certain What I Wore will be part of it! And also cardigans, but then again you probably knew that!

xo,

Stacey

 

Most Popular Blog Posts of 2015

A little over 6 years ago I hit publish on my first blog post. Remember, 29 Lincoln Avenue and the great stories we shared on that space? This year, we have had a beautiful mix of all the feelings. We’ve chatted about What I Wore and shared really hard things, too. We also celebrated a book release and wrote another book.

Have I mentioned how grateful I am for you? 

In a year that has been hard, you have been so faithful to encourage, pray, and show up here.  You are truly wonderful to me. While you were here, this is what your frequented most often:

1.  http://staceythacker.com/10-totally-better-things-to-say-to-a-weary-mom-instead-of-you-look-tired/

2. http://staceythacker.com/dear-daughter-5-ways-to-liveoriginal/

3. http://staceythacker.com/31-day-an-invitation-to-what-god-wants-you-to-know/  {{series from October 2011}}

4. http://staceythacker.com/for-when-you-feel-youve-lost-your-song-in-the-valley-of-bitterness/

5. http://staceythacker.com/my-prayer-for-the-weary-ones-this-time-of-year/

6.  http://staceythacker.com/what-i-wore-stitch-fix-2/ {{from 2013}}

7.  http://staceythacker.com/my-journey-through-grief-and-loss/

8.  http://staceythacker.com/lets-start-2015-with-wild-obedience/

9.  http://staceythacker.com/what-i-wore-stitch-fix-box-9/

10. http://staceythacker.com/the-one-book-i-want-you-to-read-more-than-mine/

Thank you so much for your encouragement and support. For walking this journey with me. As we close out 2015 and step into 2016 let’s step forward with open hands and expectant hearts for all that He has in store for us.

Happy New Year friends!

 

Merry and Bright Filled with Hope

Christmas really is about Hope. 

“When I think of hope today, it isn’t something with feathers or the words to a Disney song my girls sing in the back seat of my minivan. Hope is a person.This one small truth has gained me whole lot of freedom.”

Hope came down at Christmas and wrapped himself in flesh that looks just like you and me. Hope became one of us to show us love. To demonstrate grace. To show us who God is.

He is Hope.

If I could put one thing under your tree, it would be abounding Hope.

Merry and Bright.

But then again, God already did that over 2,000 years ago.

 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing that through the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Romans 15:13

May this Christmas be Merry and Bright and filled with Hope.

xo,

Stacey