Lex Chase's Blog, page 27

Chasing Sunrise Sees The Light

Chasing Sunrise sees the light of day.

On November 19, 2013, Chasing Sunrise, Book I of the Darkmore Saga, has at long last been contracted for publication. As I posted on Facebook, after fifteen rejections sweet sixteen was the lucky number.

Honestly? I’m still in shock that this is really happening. It was an impossibly long journey to get here, one that spans over twenty years. Instead of saving this story for a blog tour, I’m documenting it here.

The Beginning…

I was thirteen when I created the world of Darkmore. I make no secret I have bipolar disorder, and am an advocate that despite mental illness, a person can still be extraordinary. At thirteen, I didn’t think being extraordinary was in the cards for me. I didn’t think I had a life beyond eighteen to be honest.

Darkmore was the story where I could retreat, wrap myself inside, and write down all of my nightmares on paper. When I could see what scared me the most, sitting there in front of me, I had the power to say “I see what you are, and you can’t hurt me anymore.”

A few short years down the road, I started to stabilize on my meds. I learned how to be a human being. And this story was still a part of my coping with life. I made friends and I told them about the story, and they too wanted to leave their mark on it. So, multi-sided collaborations were born.

My friends were all storytellers and artists. We drew the characters obsessively. One of us would come up with a new character to add, and then teach the rest of us how to draw them. We taught each other Photoshop, working from 3.0, before Wacom tablets were a thing. I started a webcomic with it, back when the only site you could use for free was Geocities.

This story consumed me for ten years.

And then I fell in love, and it all changed…

During this process of this story, I met a girl. We were instant best friends. And eventually we became lovers. She was my first love, everything was perfect, we related our relationship to Camelot. Everyone wanted to know our secret of how we were so perfect together. How we made it work. How in love we were.

After a few years of dating, we moved in together. And would remain together for ten years.

Somewhere along the way, the story became a convoluted mess. Looking back, it was a mess long before then. I’d come up with a plot point, only my girlfriend wouldn’t like it. So, to keep her happy, I ditched it.

I did a lot of things to keep her happy. Pretty much all of it I regret now.

The first five years of our relationship was amazing. I wanted to marry her. I wanted more than anything to wake up to her smile every single day.

The last five years? The emotional manipulation kicked in. As did the beatings. And the cheating. As did the breaking me down into feeling I was a worthless human being. The breaking me down so far, I considered suicide a number of times. She even convinced me my own family was against me. I don’t even appear in my brother’s wedding photos even if I was at the wedding.

Here’s where things get sticky, I was in this horrific relationship, and women are taught the first time a man hits you, you know to get the fuck out. But honestly? It’s more complicated than that. A lot more. When you are the one in it, it’s impossible to see how to get out. It’s impossible to know what the right answer is. It’s the top reason why victims return to their abusers. The victim loves them beyond reason. The victim has a logic of “We may fight, but we’re perfect together.”

People on the outside looking in, they shame the victim. They say “Well, they went back. They deserve it. Fuck ‘em for being a fucking idiot.” This attitude? This is how most victims end up dead. Because friends stand by and let it happen.

Why I bring this up? She even tried to kill me as well. We were fighting, and I was sobbing hysterically. She tackled me to the ground and attempted to smother me to “get me to shut up.” She actually relented, cursed me, and went on with her business. I confronted her on it. I remember saying “You just tried to kill me.” I was horrified that she would push it that far. Her response? “Don’t be a fucking psycho.” And she went on to check her email, and left me sitting on the bed in hysterics.

The great kicker of all of this? I went to therapy to learn how to be a better spouse to her. My therapist? He had this smile like George Clooney. And when I let it all out, he cracked that very smile that said, “Oh sweetie, I don’t think so.”

The turning point in the whole thing was talking about how she would have this awesome time with her friends and completely ignore me. I said, I knew she loved me if she tossed me a compliment once in a while. My therapist said the phrase that has stuck with me to this day.

“Why are you giving her cake, when you are eating crumbs?”

I remember at that very moment breaking down and sobbing. I knew. I knew it was time. I had to go.

The Light Beckons…

I’ve dated one other person since for a year, and while it didn’t work out for us, I haven’t dated in over ten years. And I don’t care to ever again. While my ex made me a fighter, my heart is very scarred up, I have problems letting my guard down. The issues she left me with don’t bother me some days, while others, I’ll see something somewhere, and it’ll put me back there.

If I’m being fair? The whole 50 Shades of Grey craze put me back there in a fucking huge way. I still feel sick when I see the merchandise and women cooing over it that such a relationship is desirable or even sexy.

It was one fateful day, my dearest friend Augustina Wheelis and I had a silly five second conversation about a shifter that looked like a Japanese rock star she liked and a vampire guy that was an androgynous full-time crossdresser. I took the idea and ran like a kid with scissors. I decided, hey I have this world of Darkmore. Let’s put the guys there! Auggie would call me every day to make sure I kept writing. I’d send it to her as I wrote it. I drew her art of the characters as a gift.

That first book was called The Promise. And it was the first novel I ever wrote. And as I said in a recent interview, it was the most wretched and indulgent piece of shit. But the guys, Jack, the shifter, and Sevon, his vampire lover, wouldn’t leave my head.

I decided I would take them and do them right. Three complete rewrites later, Jack and Sevon finally have the book that will be published.

One of the rewrites? Sevon got changed into a woman. I was resistant at first. But I went with it. It’s that version that I have fifteen rejections on. I had this book I couldn’t fucking sell as m/f. Het vampire stories are a dime a dozen. After completing the Checkmate series, I said fuck this, changed Sevon back to a guy, redid a bunch of stuff. And shipped it off to Dreamspinner Press.

I honestly thought I had not a chance in hell at this point. Sevon is still a transvestite, I treat vampires like predators and there’s some gory parts, and, and, and…

And what does this have to do with my ex?

A lot actually. A whole heap of a-fucking-lot. I’m going to come right out and say it is that the villain of the book Dominic Ravensgrove is my ex. And a lot of Sevon’s issues with him are mine. I hesitate to say Sevon is me, but to be fair, Sevon is one of those characters that is quite possibly the closest to me.

Hogarth Dawson of the Checkmate series may have my happy-bouncy attitude and mannerisms, but Sevon is the character underneath that perky veneer.

The moment the contract came…

My Mom walked into my room to ask me a question. At the same time, I went to show her a timesheet app on my phone. I picked up my phone, and saw the contract offer on my alert tray. I started shaking, and then I started hysterically crying. And my Mom watched it all happen. We celebrated. We called everyone we knew. My parents posted it all over their Facebooks, and I posted it all over mine.

My celebratory dinner was Ikea meatballs with potatoes and lingonberry sauce that Mom brought back on her trip to Miami last week. Ikea meatballs never tasted so freaking delicious. We’re going to have a “real celebratory dinner” soon.

The sun rises again…

I’m planning two other books in the series, titled Glass Moon and Star Fall, where Sevon will continue to work through his demons and hopefully mend the scars on his heart. Chasing Sunrise has a summer 2014 projected release date. And it can’t come fast enough.

And what I have to say about this? Is what my thirteen-year-old self said all those years ago about writing down my nightmares:

“I see what you are, and you can’t hurt me anymore.”

The post Chasing Sunrise Sees The Light appeared first on Lex Chase.

[GUEST POST] Charlie Cochet with The Impetuous Afflictions Blog Tour!

Johnnie here. Stop four is Mrs. Henley’s bakery. This is where I’ve been purchasing baked goodies for the last six years. Said goodies may or may not be used in the bribing of my fellow Hawthorne Manor residents. If Chance is reading this, they’re most certainly not used to bribe, but purchased and distributed to my family out of the goodness of my heart. Anyone who says otherwise is a rotten scoundrel. Next to Mrs. Whitmore–who makes the best homemade donuts, Mrs. Henley keeps our confectionery cravings well satisfied. Henry and I often end up there for tea and cake. That’s right, I drink tea. Don’t go getting your knickers in a twist about it.

Henry introduced me to tea back in Africa when we’d first met. I don’t know whether it was the tea or having him standing there smiling at me, but I felt more relaxed than I had in a long while. I was still jumpier than a jackrabbit, but less likely to blow my wig. After that, drinking tea always made me think of Henry. Okay, so it’s not often I’m not thinking of Henry, but… what was I yammering on about? Right, baked goods. The reason Mrs. Henley’s baked goods make such good bribing material–aside from being exceptionally tasty, is the fact that we’ve all got a sweet tooth. Us fellas who run the manor are just as bad as the Brats when it comes to dessert. We all have favorites of course, so if there’s only one of something, that’s when the brawls start.

Photographer: Stu Spivack [http://flickr.com/photos/stuart_spivack/]

 

Strawberry shortcake is Oliver’s favorite. It’s also Chance’s favorite. Let’s get one thing out in the open: Chance has no shame. He will steal your dessert. Depending on his mood, he might charm you into giving it over freely. The cake not… geez lousie, get your heads out of the gutter. As I was saying, he will charm you, and if he can’t charm you, he’ll swipe it when you’re not looking. Don’t underestimate him. He’s a sneaky bastard. He recently pulled one over on Oliver and, oh boy, was that a sight. Oliver doesn’t take kindly to having his dessert swiped, and for a scrawny fifteen year old, he packs a wallop.

Photographer: http://www.flickr.com/photos/50496541...

 

Edmund and Aubrey both love the egg custard tarts, but unlike most of the other Brats, these two will share. Yep, they’re frustratingly sweet. But then again, I can’t imagine anyone taking one look at Aubrey and not getting the urge to just hand everything over. Aubrey can’t talk, but all it takes is one smile from the kid and even a hardboiled mug like Chance turns into a pushover. I’m willing to bet if Aubrey wanted the strawberry shortcake, Chance wouldn’t think twice. Which is saying something, considering even Jacky–the love of Chance’s life, has been refused said shortcake on several occasions. Not that it stops Jacky. The man has been swiping Chance’s sweets and confectionery goods since they met in Africa. Mealtime is always interesting around the manor.

The Hidden Cafe, Flower Power, http://www.flickr.com/photos/avlxyz/4...

 

Ah, scones with clotted cream and jam. This is my favorite. Granted, the first time I attempted to eat one that Henry put together for me, it got messy. I sat there for a good while wondering how I was going to dig in. The thing was roughly the size of my fist. Was I supposed to pick it up? Use a knife and fork? Stab it, bite it, what kind of dessert takes strategic planning to eat?! Henry suggested a fork, so after a few careful prods, I managed to break a chunk off. Despite its appearance, it was delicious. I never have to fight anyone for it as I tend to indulge in one when I’m out having tea with Henry, or when Mrs. Whitmore makes them for dessert, in which case everyone gets one.

Credit: Pamela from DC Metro [http://www.flickr.com/people/7758668@N07]

Fairy cakes. Henry loves fairy cakes, especially the chocolate frosted kind. You should see him eating one. He sits there all prim and proper, and carefully peels the paper away before eating small forkful after forkful. I admit I find it amusing, but mostly, I just like watching him eat. He does everything with such grace, it’s hard not to get distracted by him, his mouth, his tongue, the way he slips his fork from his lips… All right, tour’s over for today, and no, it has nothing to do with Henry. Or dessert. Or Henry eating dessert. Tomorrow’s the pub.

 

Blurb:

Eight years after leaving the deserts of Africa and the French Foreign Legion behind, Jonathan Wolfe has settled into life at Hawthorne Manor in the English countryside. Johnnie helps his adopted family run the manor and provide a safe, loving home for a new generation of “brats”: boys mistreated and discarded for their homosexuality—something all too familiar to Johnnie.

Although no longer an unruly youngster, Johnnie is as stubborn, foul-mouthed, and troublesome as ever. His recent rash behavior becomes a concern for those closest to him, especially Dr. Henry Young, the only man ever to capture Johnnie’s heart. Instead of soothing him, their closeness brings Johnnie’s insecurities from an unsettling past to the surface, and leads to an explosive situation that threatens to tear them apart. Then Henry’s past catches up to them….

 

Excerpts are in the form of a serial.

Read Part 3 at Kim Fielding’s blog here.

 

Excerpt Part 4

I left the waiting room and walked through the closed double doors to my right, which led out to a much smaller anteroom. Through the double doors at the end was the manor’s grand foyer. I had hoped to make it to my room without running into any of the Brats. If only I was so lucky. The moment I stepped foot into the foyer, I ran into Bobby. As if the guilt Chance had laid on me for going to see Glen hadn’t been enough, Aubrey was in Bobby’s company. If it had been any of the other Brats, I probably wouldn’t have concerned myself. Gideon and Oliver would have simply called me something uncouth as I walked by, Connor would have smiled shyly if he didn’t have his nose stuck in a book, Edmund, Rori, and Elliot would have whizzed by me so fast they probably wouldn’t have noticed I was there, but Aubrey….

I stopped in my tracks, my hands in my trouser pockets as Aubrey pulled his latest dime novel from his back pocket and gently shoved it at me. Chance bought these things by the truckloads. The kids loved them, though no one loved them more than Rori and Aubrey. Big gray eyes looked up at me as Aubrey tapped the cover and nodded.

“Hey, the latest Nick Carter, how’d you like it?” I asked him, unable to help my goofy smile when he nodded, practically vibrating with excitement.

Aubrey had just turned eighteen, suffered from terrible anxiety attacks, could barely step outside the house without having a fit, and broke my heart every time I saw his face. Chance and Jacky had found him in the winter of ’29 on the Victoria Embankment under the

Hungerford Bridge during a trip to London. When they had first spotted him, they thought they’d found a corpse. Except for the snow he had been half buried in, Aubrey had been naked, covered in dry blood, and caked in mud. They soon discovered the kid was still alive—barely. After taking him to the nearest hospital, they’d been informed how someone had abused him repeatedly, beaten him, and left him for dead. Aubrey should never have survived what happened to him. Chance—one of the most hardboiled mugs I knew—had come home that night and fallen apart.

No one except Chance knew what had happened to Aubrey, and that information had been hard to come by, considering Aubrey couldn’t talk. Whatever had happened to him had shaken him to the point where he could no longer get himself to speak. Four years later, with the help of Chance—who Aubrey trusted like no one else—and Henry, Aubrey was happy as any kid in his position could be. He was a handsome young man, healthy, sweet, smart, and at times shy. He loved to cause mischief with Rori, his partner in crime; joined the others in their activities—providing they were indoors—and most of all, he loved sharing all the exciting new songs and stories he came across. Although his scars were far from healed, he was making progress. What’s more, the kid always searched me out, excited to share his dime novels with me. I don’t know what the hell it was about me that he found so fascinating, but I didn’t have the heart to dismiss his enthusiasm.

Part 5 continued on Nov 14th on Andrew Q. Gordon’s blog.

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Available in ebook and print from Dreamspinner Press: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=4362

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Comment prompt: Do you like sweets? What’s your favorite?

 

About the Author:

Charlie Cochet is an author by day and artist by night. Always quick to succumb to the whispers of her wayward muse, no star is out of reach when following her passion. From Historical to Fantasy, Contemporary to Science Fiction, there’s bound to be plenty of mischief for her heroes to find themselves in, and plenty of romance, too!

Currently residing in South Florida, Charlie looks forward to migrating to a land where the weather includes seasons other than hot, hotter, and boy, it’s hot! When she isn’t writing, she can usually be found reading, drawing, or watching movies. She runs on coffee, thrives on music, and loves to hear from readers.

Website: http://www.charliecochet.com

Blog: http://www.charliecochet.com/blog

Email: charlie@charliecochet.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/charliecochet

Twitter: @charliecochet | http://www.twitter.com/charliecochet

Giveaway

1st Prize: $15 Amazon gift card + Impetuous Afflictions signed swag pack + signed 8×10 art print.

2nd & 3rd Prize: Impetuous Afflictions swag pack + signed 8×10 art print.

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To Enter

Just leave a comment on any of the blog posts along the tour, along with a contact email address. **If you would still like to enter the contest but don’t wish to leave your email address in the comment, you can also enter by emailing charlie@charliecochet.com.

Winners will be chosen at random and posted on Charlie’s blog at http://www.charliecochet.com/blog on Monday, December 2nd. Winners will then be notified via email.

***

Contest ends

Sunday, December 1st at midnight, Eastern Time.

Tour stops:

11/9 – Welcome to Hawthorne Manor [Excerpt 1] – The Novel Approach

11/11 – Billiard Room Brouhaha [Excerpt 2] – Author Sue Brown

11/12 – A Trip to the Town of Aylesbury [Excerpt 3] – Author Kim Fielding

11/13 – Time for Tea [Excerpt 4] – Author Lex Chase

11/14 – Stopping for a Pint [Excerpt 5] – Author Andrew Q. Gordon

11/15 – Visiting the Furry Hat Man [Excerpt 6] – Author Eden Winters

11/18 – Meet Gideon Brooks [Excerpt 7] – Author Michael Rupured

11/19 – Meet Rori Curti [Excerpt 8]s – Author Shira Anthony

11/20 – Meet Aubrey Jepson [Excerpt 9] – Attention is Arbitrary

11/21 – Meet Oliver Darling [Excerpt 10] – Hearts on Fire

11/22 – Meet Elliot Young [Excerpt 11] – Author Elin Gregory

11/25 – Meet Connor & Edmund Grey [Excerpt 12]- Joyfully Jay

11/26 – The Devilish Duo [Finale] – Mrs. Condit & Friends

The post [GUEST POST] Charlie Cochet with The Impetuous Afflictions Blog Tour! appeared first on Lex Chase.

[GUEST POST] Jessica Skye Davies Takes Readers ‘Half the World Away’

Half the World Away by Jessica Skye Davies

First of all, I want to thank Lex for hosting me here today – which just so happens to be release day for Half the World Away!  To celebrate release day, I’m giving everybody a present – the Half the World Away soundtrack.  You can pull these up and enjoy while you read (or, you know, when you have to take a break from reading for things like… food?)

Some writers talk about the music they listen to while writing or music that inspires their stories.  I generally avoid background noise while I’m working and it’s rare that I’ve had a song or particular piece of music spark a story in me.  I do often get songs popping up in a story, however.  Incidental music, as it were.  And sometimes songs come up during editing.  I’m of the opinion that all books, like the oft-mentioned “mind-movies,” have their soundtracks.

 

Half the World Away – Oasis

Titles can be so tricky to come up with.  This one was pretty easy for me, it’s about a couple of guys from either end of the world.  Titles often come from common phrases, such as “half the world away.”  There also happens to be a fitting song by Oasis with the same title – used as the theme for The Royle Family series.

 

Land Down Under – Men at Work

Well, this is just obvious!  I mean, it’s Men at Work.  And a “pop-up” video version too, just for some mildly interesting, useless trivia.

London Calling – The Clash

Again, obvious.  This is more Dade’s scene.  He loves his city and the grittier side of one of the world’s most expensive places.  Ah… feel the ‘80s!

If I Had Words – Babe

The first time Dade and Elliot spend a night together, this is the song Elliot has in mind watching Dade sleep, from his favorite movie.  Always loved the Saint-Saenz melody, myself.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow – IZ

Tissues out yet?  This is the one Dade hears on TV while looking at his shots from whale and dolphin watching.

I’m going to leave it there and let you get on to reading!

Blurb:  Photographer Dade Faber keeps hoping for assignments on a big city beat, but time and again he’s sent into the wild. This time, he’s half the world away from London shooting the Australian bush. When Dade is nearly attacked by a crocodile, it leads to a shouting match with Elliot Harris, who owns Dade’s hotel. Elliot is both hot and persuasive, and when he offers to play tour guide, Dade accepts. After a week spent mostly together in the bush, Dade begins to fall for Elliott. The attraction is mutual, and when circumstances lead both men to London, they find they have much in common. But can their romance bridge the 10,000 miles between London and the Australian bush?

 

Bio:  Jessica Skye Davies has been a writer since her first works were “published” in her grandparents’ living room and written in crayon. She is a lifelong native of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where she has been active in the community, including serving as library director on the executive board of a local GLBT community center. Outside of writing, Jessica has a wide range of interests and hobbies: from Mozart in a music hall to punk in pubs, from Shakespeare to Vonnegut, from salsa dancing the night away to afternoon coffee in the square to kicking back with a good movie. She loves meeting new people and exploring new places, always open to whatever elements might inspire her next writing project.

 

Links:

Half the World Away: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=4282&cPath=399

Blog: http://jessicaskyedavies.blogspot.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/jessicaskye.davies

 

The post [GUEST POST] Jessica Skye Davies Takes Readers ‘Half the World Away’ appeared first on Lex Chase.

GayRomLit 2013 AKA What Just Happened To Me?

I Came, I Saw, I Kicked Ass

This year, I was lucky enough to go to my first ever GayRomLit Retreat in my second home of Atlanta, Georgia. To sum it up in one sentence? OMG IT WAS SO TOTALLY WICKED AWESOME!

I was pretty nervous that no one was going to know who the hell I was. But I was okay with just going to have a good time. I was pleasantly surprised at my signing, people walked up to my table, and they may have not known my name, but they knew the Checkmate covers!

I was just as jazzed to meet people who were excited to meet me. It took off a lot of pressure to try to “sell myself” among bigger names. It was pretty validating, you know? Also daymn I was over-prepared with swag! I had a ton left over. Which is good news because I was worried I’d have to scramble to restock for Pensacon.

My bestie Cate Ashwood had a moment of brilliance for the 30 Supporting Authors to toss our money in a pot and have sampler books of all our work.

Those of us that made Cate’s deadline are:

Simone Anderson
Cate Ashwood
Heidi Belleau
Lex Chase
Jacob Z. Flores
M.C. Houle
A.J. Kelton
Venona Keyes
Pearl Love
Edmond Manning
Anna Martin
Rowan McAllister
S.A. McAuley
Madison Parker
Tali Spencer
Lily Velden
Lynley Wayne

All in all, it was an awesome collection of works, and we honestly couldn’t keep them on our tables. They flew from our hands into the hands of eager readers.

In all the rush to clean up after our signing, I happened to travel home with four copies. They’re unsigned, but I have excellent plans for them to be giveaway prizes as well as my epic piles of swag!

I’ve made good friends, and made new good friends with all sorts of people. It was refreshing to find these people who I’ve only known through email in the last year and a half were indeed as genuine as they are in text. Jake Wells had complimented me on how I was the exact same person I was between online and person. I might have grinned a bit like a dope.

But that was the thing with me. Lex Chase is no different from “Real Me.” There is no possible way I could have logically pulled off any writing persona and not broken character with some doofy joke. I’m nerdy, dweeby, easily excitable, and in a state of stunted emotional growth because I go to college with kids upwards of 12 years younger. There is no way, none, I could pull off the “Badass Author Tude” or the “Mysterious Author” or the “Super Sexy Author.”

I had given it a lot of thought until GRL. Just who is Lex Chase? Who was Lex Chase supposed to be? If I was supposed to make an author persona, I failed horribly, because I am very much what you see is what you get.

The highlight of the trip was actually how kind and caring everyone was. The ironic downfall was how huggy everyone was. While it feels great in the moment, we’re all nursing the creeping crud. Even my voice is a croak, and my throat is like sandpaper. I tried to escape the crud, and dammit. It found me.

I’m totally hyped to go next year in Chicago. Airfare rates are looking like I can expect to spend 400 to 500 dollars. Yikes. D:

In closing, I’m giving a few shoutouts to Pearl Love and Rowan McAllister, for our sudden banding together like a group of DSP Misfits. To Lily Velden, for being just as adorable in person as she is online. She amused my Mom with stories well into the morning. To Tali Spencer, for the completely inappropriate unicorn horn hand soap. She’s a good friend now and forever. To Charlie Cochet, and all three-foot-nothing of her, for being a big ball of adorable. To Cate Ashwood, who I didn’t see often enough, but glad I got to put a face to the name. To Shira Anthony, for her epic amounts of sass. To Venona Keyes, for her awesome granola and encouragement about my weight loss. To Deanna Wadsworth, for being on some magical substance called herself where she is a complete energizer bunny. And our love of Sleepy Hollow and Ichabod’s ichabody. Awww yeah! ;D To the Live Your Life, By The Book Crew and all their insanity.

To Heidi Cullinan, for being extremely gracious and being as attentive to us noobz as to the Big Kids.

To Geoffrey Knight, for bringing me orange juice. That’s a gentleman, ladies.

To Damon Suede, for much to my surprise, knowing who I was and enjoying the Checkmate series. (I still haven’t quite finished flipping out about it. Again. EPIC FAIL of keeping it all inside.)

For everyone that was such a good sport about posing with my Hogarth doll, I know you’ve made my superfan’s day even if she couldn’t go. You can see who Hogarth had met along the way, at this page of Garth’s Excellent Adventures.

See you next year!

The post GayRomLit 2013 AKA What Just Happened To Me? appeared first on Lex Chase.

Who Am I And What Do I Do?

Lex Chase

Hello, Internet! I decided I should update this old post of who I am and what I do. So, here we go!

My name is Lex Chase, and as you can tell by the rather superheroic sound of the name, you’re right that it’s a pseudonym. My real name is not horribly kept secret. In fact, people call me Lex and I wonder who they’re addressing.

Please consult the visual aid to your left. That is indeed how you can identify me in public by my tri-color hair, and rather pimped out sunglasses. And to answer the burning question, no I have no idea what my natural color is anymore.

I’m a published author with Dreamspinner Press and I am the creator of the superhero “Checkmate” series. It’s the tale of disgraced superhero Memphis Rook and his climb back to redemption alongside his sidekick/boyfriend Hogarth Dawson. It’s full of dizzying highs, terrifying lows, and the creamy middle. Sound interesting? You can check out the first two books at DSP, at Amazon, and at B&N.

It took a lot of soul searching and mis-marketing in the past, but I am now comfortable to say I’m an action-adventure romance writer. My genres of choice are sci-fi, fantasy, and paranomal end of the spectrum, and I can’t write a straight up contemporary to save my soul. My stories are about kicking ass, taking names, saving the world, and finding someone you can’t imagine who’s a better person to help out. And there’s explosions. Always explosions.

This blog is about my writing journey, where I share the victorious triumphs and the agonies of defeat as they used to say in Sports Illustrated. I also share interviews of various authors that I think are nifty. If you’re an author and would like me to interview you, feel free to contact me! I will interview both self-published authors and published because I feel we could all use a leg up. Once in a blue moon, I share a writing tip or two I thought was particularly handy. The Pomodoro Technique particularly rocks my ever-lovin’ socks.

Before I got into writing, I used to draw comics. Immense sob story aside, one of my art school professors always said “Have a Plan B.” Writing is my Plan B be it journalism or fiction, I write all about the weird and wonderful things in our world. I draw in fits and spurts these days. The first time I had plugged in my Intuos3 tablet after years of neglect the thing had cobwebs on it. I wish I was making that up.

I am owned by my two cats, Rembrandt and Pootie. Remmi has no concept of personal space. Pootie doesn’t even know I’m alive. One out of two isn’t bad.

I Live-Tweet some of my favorite shows with fannish squealing. Apologies in advance for my outrageous buffoonery.

I always welcome the chance to hear from readers! So don’t hesitate to drop a line!

Here are some handy dandy links to make it easier to follow me.

Twitter: @Lex_Chase

Facebook: LXChase

Tumblr: lexiconofkittens

Google+: Lex Chase

Pintrest: LXChase

Instagram: Westbaylen

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[GUEST POST] H. Lewis-Foster And To Protect The Heir

To Protect the Heir by H. Lewis Foster

Please welcome H. Lewis-Foster here today talking about her release To Protect The Heir!

Thanks very much for having me on your blog, Lex—it’s a pleasure to be here!

Well, it’s been a busy few months, as I’ve not only moved from one side of the country to the other—I know England’s not that big, but it was far enough!—there’s also been quite a flurry of writing activity. I haven’t had time to do much actual writing, but I have several short stories and my debut novel coming out soon. So I’ve been checking edits, writing blurbs and—the fun bit—getting the cover art sorted.

I enjoy all the polishing and packaging of a story, seeing what it’s going to look like when a reader turns the first (real or virtual) page. But after all that work, I’m now at the stage when my stories are being published, and I’m really excited about the release of To Protect the Heir. It’s set in 16th century Scotland and is something of a departure from my previous stories, which are mostly set in the present day. It’s also much more of an adventure, with lots of sword-fighting, creepy forests and even the odd wild animal.

There’s still plenty of romance along with the action, and I just love the main character, Mackie. He’s intelligent, funny and strong, and most important of all, he’s incredibly brave. He’s not a natural soldier and doesn’t go looking for trouble, but when his clansmen are in peril, he puts his life on the line. He’s as scared as anyone when faced with danger, but whether he’s with a fellow conscript or the chieftain’s son, he gives his all to protect them. He still has time to have fun with the other soldiers, of course, whether he’s teasing his fellow conscript Logan, or having fabulous outdoor sex with muscle-bound cavalryman Stirling!

In total contrast to Mackie’s earthy energy, the chieftain’s son Alexander starts the story as a slightly shy young man. He’s been brought up with his mother and sisters in the relative luxury of the castle, and while he’s pleasant and respectful to the soldiers, he keeps a certain distance.  He couldn’t be physically more different from Mackie either, with his slender limbs and elegant features, but he’s quickly forced to toughen up and find his own reserves of courage. His character blossoms as the story unfolds and I think readers will soon fall for Alexander just as much as the adorable Mackie.

So if you’re looking for action, adventure and romance—and gorgeous men in kilts—you might like to drop by and find out what Mackie and Alexander get up to on those cold Scottish nights.

Author Bio:

H. Lewis-Foster has worked with books, in one form or another, since leaving university. As a keen reader of gay fiction, she decided to try writing herself, and is now the proud author of several short stories and an upcoming debut novel.

H. has lived in various parts of the UK and has recently moved to the north of England, where she’s enjoying city life, especially the theatres and cinemas. She tries not to watch too much television, but is a big fan of Downton Abbey, and while she’s writing, she loves listening to Test Match Special (where they spend far more time talking about cakes than cricket!)

You can find out more about H. and her books at:

http://hlewisfoster.wix.com/books

https://twitter.com/HLewisFoster

To Protect The Heir by H. Lewis-Foster

In 16th Century Scotland, the clans are in a state of relative peace, but the younger sons of the Strathyre clan are still expected to serve two years of military service. Mackie isn’t a keen soldier, but his duties have been made more bearable by highly pleasurable encounters with his fellow conscripts. With their green kilts hoisted round their hips, the men find ways of staying warm in the inhospitable Scottish climate.

Mackie’s least favourite task is lookout duty in the woods outside the chieftain’s castle, where he’s forced into action when he spies an intruder among the trees. As a result of the incident, he’s assigned to accompany the chieftain’s eldest son Alexander to his uncle’s castle in Braelen. The trip should be short and uneventful, but when disaster strikes, Mackie’s strength and bravery are put to the test. He soon finds himself in an even more risky situation, as it becomes clear that Alexander wants more from Mackie than simply his protection.

Where To Buy

JMS Books

Amazon

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Who Am I And What Do I Do?

Lex Chase

Hello, Internet! I decided I should update this old post of who I am and what I do. So, here we go!

My name is Lex Chase, and as you can tell by the rather superheroic sound of the name, you’re right that it’s a pseudonym. My real name is not horribly kept secret. In fact, people call me Lex and I wonder who they’re addressing.

Please consult the visual aid to your left. That is indeed how you can identify me in public by my tri-color hair, and rather pimped out sunglasses. And to answer the burning question, no I have no idea what my natural color is anymore.

I’m a published author with Dreamspinner Press and I am the creator of the superhero “Checkmate” series. It’s the tale of disgraced superhero Memphis Rook and his climb back to redemption alongside his sidekick/boyfriend Hogarth Dawson. It’s full of dizzying highs, terrifying lows, and the creamy middle. Sound interesting? You can check out the first two books at DSP, at Amazon, and at B&N.

It took a lot of soul searching and mis-marketing in the past, but I am now comfortable to say I’m an action-adventure romance writer. My genres of choice are sci-fi, fantasy, and paranomal end of the spectrum, and I can’t write a straight up contemporary to save my soul. My stories are about kicking ass, taking names, saving the world, and finding someone you can’t imagine who’s a better person to help out. And there’s explosions. Always explosions.

This blog is about my writing journey, where I share the victorious triumphs and the agonies of defeat as they used to say in Sports Illustrated. I also share interviews of various authors that I think are nifty. If you’re an author and would like me to interview you, feel free to contact me! I will interview both self-published authors and published because I feel we could all use a leg up. Once in a blue moon, I share a writing tip or two I thought was particularly handy. The Pomodoro Technique particularly rocks my ever-lovin’ socks.

Before I got into writing, I used to draw comics. Immense sob story aside, one of my art school professors always said “Have a Plan B.” Writing is my Plan B be it journalism or fiction, I write all about the weird and wonderful things in our world. I draw in fits and spurts these days. The first time I had plugged in my Intuos3 tablet after years of neglect the thing had cobwebs on it. I wish I was making that up.

I am owned by my two cats, Rembrandt and Pootie. Remmi has no concept of personal space. Pootie doesn’t even know I’m alive. One out of two isn’t bad.

I Live-Tweet some of my favorite shows with fannish squealing. Apologies in advance for my outrageous buffoonery.

I always welcome the chance to hear from readers! So don’t hesitate to drop a line!

Here are some handy dandy links to make it easier to follow me.

Twitter: @Lex_Chase

Facebook: LXChase

Tumblr: lexiconofkittens

Google+: Lex Chase

Pintrest: LXChase

Instagram: Westbaylen

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Jen Williams’ Fantastic Adventure With “The Copper Promise”

Note From Lex: The following interview is one of the first I had done in 2012, and since then life has changed a lot for Jen Williams. I will let her explain in her own words.

Update From Jen Williams:

“Gosh, things have changed a bit since we did that interview, haven’t they? Um, as a bit of recap – I wrote the entire book in the end (4 parts, with Ghosts of the Citadel being the first part) and it was picked up by the marvellous Juliet Mushens, who works for The Agency Group.

She then sold it to John Wordsworth, the SFF guy at Headline–which I was over the moon about–and now The Copper Promise is going to be a real book, out in Spring 2014–February, according to Amazon. Here is the new Amazon link for it.  The old version, the first ebook novella, is no longer available.”

Reposted Interview: Jen Williams and “The Copper Promise” Circa 2012

Art Courtesy of Robert D. Brown

Self-published author Jen Williams said when she wrote her Kindle novella series,” The Copper Promise,” she wanted to pay homage to the fantasy stories of her childhood. Besides being an author, 31-year-old Williams was born and raised in South East London noting she “must still like it” because she’s never left and is a graduate from Kent Institute of Art and Design with a degree in illustration. She also maintains she’s only evil on Thursdays.

A self-professed notebook obsessive and Lego wrangler, she elaborated on her pitch for the story that she describes as a love letter to the pulp fantasy of another time.

“There’s a vengeful lord who’ll stop at nothing to get what he wants, a charming rogue in it for the money, and an honorable knight with a dark past; the three of them must journey to the heart of the Haunted Citadel, where ghosts will be the least of their problems,” she said via an email interview.

Williams explained the importance to stay close to her fantasy roots for her novella.

“What was important to me when I started was that ‘the Copper Promise’ to retain the things that I love about old school fantasy— the adventure, the spectacle, the action and suspense— but also have a reasonably modern flavor,” she said.

While the conception of ‘The Copper Promise’ was difficult to pinpoint, Williams shared her process of creating the rich world of Ede and her characters Wydrin, Frith and Sebastian.

“I wrote the first part in a couple of months, and made extensive notes as to where the series will be going next,” she said. “I think the moment I knew I had something was when I found myself chuckling at the dialogue. I worry a lot about making dialogue flow naturally between characters, possibly because stilted speech really throws me off when I’m reading myself, but with Wydrin, Frith and Sebastian it was all I could do to keep up with them. I realized that I’d come to know them very well in a relatively short amount of time, and that pleased me no end.”

On the concept of character, Williams had her insights.

“For me, my immersion in a story always depends on how interesting, likeable or excitingly repellent I find the characters, and I knew I could listen to this lot bicker all day,” she said.

As for her favorite character, Williams has a hard time choosing.

“Favourite character?” she asks. “Impossible question! Certainly Wydrin the charming rogue has been the most popular with readers, and I can’t really argue with that. She gets all the best lines, is wildly morally suspect, and is endlessly capable of both causing trouble and solving it, all of which makes her enormous fun to write.”

The Gray Mouser

Williams explained Wydrin came from her admiration of Fritz Leiber’s “The Gray Mouser,” and her own desire to create a strong female character.

“She gets to deal a lot of damage but doesn’t require a tremendous personal trauma to move her along,” she said. “Basically, there’s more to Wydrin than ale and daggers, and discovering that is part of the journey.”

Then there’s one of Wydrin’s companions, the Lord Frith.

“Let’s be honest about this, Frith is a bit of a bastard,” Williams said. “If Wydrin is teetering on the muddy banks of the River Naughty, Frith has already jumped in and is swimming upstream. But I do love him, and he might be my favourite.”

One of Williams’ happiest moments since publishing “The Copper Promise” was when a friend confessed she had a crush on Frith.

“We formed the first members of the Frith Fangirl Association,” she said and elaborated on the nobleman’s appeal. “It’s the tortured soul, the terrible behavior, the icy reserve and not to mention that his skewed moral compass makes him unpredictable, which can send the story spiraling in all sorts of directions; a trait dear to any writer’s heart.”

Still, the true hero of “The Copper Promise” is a surprisingly complicated question to Williams.

“Wydrin can handle herself, and although Frith is morally questionable, it is his story that moves them all forward, but in the end I suspect that Sebastian is my hero,” she said. “He’s a good man troubled by bad deeds, a man trying to do the right thing in the face of a terrible evil, and as ‘The Copper Promise’ progresses, it’s Sebastian’s fate that worries me.”

Overall, “The Copper Promise” offers a unique challenge with the first novella already being available for Kindle.

“At the moment, I’m writing part two and planning part three, which is an interesting challenge in itself,” she said. “Normally, you write a book all in one go and then spend a long time redrafting; with ‘The Copper Promise: Ghosts of the Citadel’ I polished it and put it straight up for people to read. Brilliant for instant gratification, but terrifying considering the fact that at the time I was only halfway through the first draft of part two.”

She went on to explain the core of the dilemma.

“It’s tricky, because from now on part one is a stationary point in time, as it were, and I can’t go back and change anything,” she said. “It’s an interesting challenge though, and one that I believe has made writing ‘The Copper Promise’ a lot of fun.”

Williams remarked on the surprising reviews.

“People have been kind enough to mention names such as Robert E. Howard, Terry Pratchett and Joe Abercrombie as comparisons when writing their reviews, which are complete madness, but lovely, flattering madness,” she said.

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The Journey Starts Here – “The Copper Promise” coming Spring 2014

 

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Madison Parker Tackles Bullying In “Play Me, I’m Yours”

“Play Me, I’m Yours” by Madison Parker from Harmony Ink

Harmony Ink author Madison Parker claims that she is “an artist and a poet trapped in a mathematician’s brain.” Her recent young adult release “Play Me, I’m Yours” takes on effeminate male heroes, and faces the topic of bullying head on. As a math teacher and private tutor she has seen it all.

Drawing From Experience

In “Play Me, I’m Yours” Parker draws her inspiration from actions of her students in the class room and the effects of bullying first hand.

She discusses the premise.

“‘Play Me, I’m Yours’ is about a boy in search of love and acceptance,” she said via an email interview, “When we first meet Lucas, it is clear that he feels unloved by everyone in his life, even his family, and with good reason. He’s not even sure how he feels about himself. There are things about himself that he’s proud of, but others don’t seem to see it, so he’s left feeling confused and insecure. As the story progresses, he opens up—with the help of his music—and people slowly begin to see the beautiful person he is.”

Above it all, Parker had the one truth of the story to share.

“This is a love story, a story about the love of family, the love of friends, romantic love, and most importantly, self-love,” she said.

Parker says through Lucas, the protagonist of “Play Me, I’m Yours” she is able to communicate what she’s seen as a teacher.

“I’ve worked with teenage boys much like Lucas,” she said. “Not gay, necessarily, but sensitive and clearly living outside the realm of social acceptance. I’ve seen the sneers, the staring, the whispering and giggling. I’ve witnessed too many painful ‘nobody wants to be my partner because I’m an outcast’ moments. I’ve had boys—and girls—cry in my class.”

Certain reviews had complained that Lucas was too effeminate, and Parker had this rebuttal.

“Those who complain about Lucas being too weepy, I would ask them to be more compassionate,” she said. “I’ve worked with hundreds and hundreds of young adults. Sometimes they are emotionally immature. Or just plain oversensitive. It’s a confusing and emotional time in their lives and they don’t have the life experience yet to ground them.”

She says she even had an event in her life hit far closer to home with her son that goes through bullying.

“My son was bullied a lot in school,” she said. “He was constantly called a fag. He even met with a few ‘accidents,’ like the time he was hit in the head with a field hockey stick or the time he was hit with a dodgeball and knocked his head into a vending machine. It’s excruciating to watch your child suffer and feel like there’s nothing you can do to make it better. To have your self-worth stripped away by ignorance and hate is tragic.”

The Frustration of The “Gay For You” Trope

Parker says the core inspiration for “Play Me, I’m Yours” was her frustration with the familiar “Gay for You” trope. The concept is described as a gay man falls for his straight friend and there’s no chance at the straight friend returning his feelings. That is until at some climatic mo

ment, the straight best friend realizes he is suddenly in love with his gay friend.

Parker elaborates on her discomfort with the trope.

“I wanted to write a gay character who faces getting over that kind of crush and moving on, and who ultimately realizing he’s better off for having done so,” she said. “I also wanted to show that just because a guy shows a little affection for another boy, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gay.”

Parker says this is where her secondary character Alex comes in as the object of Lucas’ crush.

“He was the catalyst for the story, although he remains a secondary character throughout the book,” she said and goes on to discuss a pivotal scene from “Play Me, I’m Yours.” “The ‘Seven Minutes in Heaven’ scene was the first one to take shape in my mind,” she said. “In that scene, Alex and Lucas are forced together in an awkward situation in which Lucas is in a highly emotional state. He admits for the first time that he’s gay, and Alex reacts with kindness and compassion.”

Figure Skater Johnny Weir

Parker and Effeminate Role Models

Parker says she rather enjoys effeminate role models. One such man is the figure skater Johnny Weir, which she talked about on a blog tour here. She is one of the few authors that thrusts such characters into the spotlight and offers her reasons with Weir.

“What I love about Johnny is his tremendous sense of pride,” she said. “Though he has been publicly criticized for being ‘too effeminate,’ he hasn’t let that hold him back. He continues to put his unique flair into his costumes and choreography, despite the risk of displeasing the judges.”

Parker continues on how this affects all society.

“He remains true to himself, and in doing so, sends a positive and very important message to people of all ages,” she said.

Parker and the Emotional Journey

Parker says she strives on portraying emotional journeys in her stories. She confesses she never cries in front of others but books, movies, TV, music, and even the occasional sentimental YouTube video makes her choke up. She says she “welcomes the release.”

Why is this important to storytelling? Parker shares her thoughts.

“The characters come alive for me when I experience their emotions with them,” she says. “I’m able to connect with the characters on a deeper level. I’m an empathetic person; I feel bad when they feel bad and good when they feel good. Not only that, but the highs feel more satisfying when they follow heartache.”

The late River Phoenix

The one thing that hits her the hardest emotionally, Parker says is Natalie Merchant’s song “River.”

“It’s a song about River Phoenix, who died of a drug overdose outside a Hollywood nightclub at the age of 23,” she said. “I was only a couple years younger than him at the time, and was a fan of his. It was such a tragedy. The song captures the grief well.”

The Question: Can Women Write Men?

It’s been a hot debate from all sides if a female author can accurately portray a male character in prose. Parker herself has come under fire with Lucas from “Play Me, I’m Yours” but she says she refuses to be deterred by the critics.

She explains that to properly write either gender authors simply need to be observant.

“I’m very introverted and I’ve always been a wallflower,” she said. “So I’ve had lots and lots of opportunity to sit back and observe. I’ve lived in foreign countries and have done a lot of traveling. Growing up military, you meet all kinds of people. Being a public school teacher, you meet all kinds of people.”

She talks about how her wallflower tendencies aided her.

“Men don’t always act the way you’d expect them to. Our cultural perceptions of what defines a man and what defines a woman are so skewed anyway; it’s laughable,” she said. “No one can legitimately say, ‘A man would never act that way.’ Don’t be so quick to judge. My ex was a soldier and the outdoorsy type—think backpacking through the wilderness with a gun, looking for bears—and he also wrote pages and pages of romantic poetry—he was far better at it than I am.”

DIY Friendship Bracelets for GRL!

Parker heads to GayRomLit

Parker is one of the many authors heading to GayRomLit held in Atlanta this October where she and one hundred other authors will hobnob with fans and celebrate LGBT romantic fiction.

She talks about her previous experience from last year’s GRL in New Mexico and her plans for this year.

“I attended GRL last year in Albuquerque under the general registration,” she said. “At that time, I didn’t have anything published, and I didn’t know a soul, which was quite scary for someone as introverted as I am. But I was determined to stay out of my hotel room and attend as many events as possible. I was so excited about seeing the authors of books I love, and even happier when I met some other fangurls I’d interacted with on Goodreads. It was an awesome weekend.”

Madison talks about her GRL experience on her blog here.

And of course, everyone has to know the awesome swag all the GRL authors are giving away. Parker shares her goody.

“I’m making DIY bracelet kits in honor of one of the characters in my holiday short, ‘Sock it to Me, Santa!’” she said. “The boys are required to make handmade gifts for their class’s secret gift exchange, and one of the gifts is a friendship bracelet. I plan on recording a how-to tutorial for those who don’t know how to make hemp bracelets. It’s super easy, I promise. I’m generally not very crafty, but I always have fun trying!”

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“Deep In The Count” by Madison Parker

What’s Next for Parker

Parker keeps going with an array of stories that she says indulges everything from her geeky side to her love of fantasy.

“I just finished a novelette titled ‘Deep in the Count,’” she said. “The characters are in college and are both out, so it’s a bit of a departure for me. My inner geek really shines here as Corey shares my love of Battlestar Galactica, math, and cryptology. And ultimately, baseball players.”

And her next projects?

“My next project is a second installment of Ryan and Jamie’s story,” she said. “It will pick up right where “Sock it to Me, Santa!” left off and will be told from Jamie’s point-of-view. The story is tentatively titled “Rock ’Em, Sock ’Em Ryan.”

Following that is a contemporary romance novel called “Francis and the Squire.”

“It will be a contemporary romance in a medieval setting and will star an effeminate young face painter with a very special talent,” she said.

And will Donovan get his own story in “Play Me, I’m Yours?” Parker says all signs point to yes.

“Donovan is the antagonist in ‘Play Me, I’m Yours,’” she said. “Even though he’s a jerk throughout most of the story, I do feel for him. He’s had his share of heartache and is bugging me to tell you all how things eventually turn around for him.”

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“Toilet Monster” by Garth Horsfield

Parker’s Parting Story of Potty Paralysis

When asked about what is her silliest most bizarre habit, Parker had one that was too good not to share.

“When I was a little kid, I had this irrational fear of the toilet,” she said. “I thought a monster lived down in there and that when I flushed, it would make him angry. So…every time I was done doing my business, I would close the lid, flush, then run at full speed to my room and leap onto my bed. I had to be completely on the bed with no limbs hanging off by the time the toilet stopped flushing, or I thought the monster would come get me. No joke.”

And if it couldn’t get any worse, Parker shares the tragic epilogue.

“A couple months ago I went to use the bathroom at home, and there was a big, black spider inside the toilet bowl. I am now once again afraid of the toilet and its many evils.”

Where to Buy

“Play Me, I’m Yours”

Contemporary Young Adult Romance

$6.99 eBook (mobi, epub, html, pdf)

$14.99 Paperback

Purchase Links: http://madisonparklove.com/books-2/pmiy/

 

“Sock it to Me, Santa!”

Contemporary Young Adult Holiday Romance

$0.99 eBook (mobi, epub, html, pdf)

Purchase Links: http://madisonparklove.com/books-2/sitms/

The post Madison Parker Tackles Bullying In “Play Me, I’m Yours” appeared first on Lex Chase.

Pawn Takes Rook: Cashing The Reality Check Is Here!

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“Pawn Takes Rook: Cashing the Reality Check” by Lex Chase

At last! Checkmate #2 Pawn Takes Rook: Cashing the Reality Check is here! But, holy hell, let’s back up a second, because I have had a release day like you would not believe. Short version: Helped a woman live through a stroke, comforted a little boy who thought he was watching a woman die, saved a dog from a hot car, and nearly flipped my own car and killed myself. Got your attention now?

Let Us Begin…

My day began earlier than I wanted. Because I was up late reading the first half of Cashing the Reality Check, just to see the final product. By the way! If you haven’t picked up Checkmate yet, you can get your hands on Pawn Takes Rook for 50% off over on DSP till the 13th! Click here!

Today, my schedule included going to weigh-in at Weight Watchers, going to my weekly doctor’s appointment, and going home. That was it. Weigh-in was at 9:30, my appointment was at 9:45. Considering the two places are right up the street from each other, I see this as no big deal.

I was late leaving the house, and I had to get gas. And of course, there was a wait to get gas. It is 9:25. I keep myself chill and get there.

I get to Weight Watchers at 9:42. I am officially late. Weigh-in, inform my leader what’s going on that I can’t sit in this meeting. She tells me there’s one at noon. I agree to come back and off I go.

Things Take An Uplifting Turn

My doctor’s appointment was awesome (let’s be fair. He’s my therapist.) Life is grand. I’ve discovered all kinds of things about myself that we’ve been trying to pull out of me for years! I’ve finally got into my head that I need to believe in myself and not put so much value in the opinion of others that it eliminates all of my confidence. All kinds of happy stuff like that. Life is wonderful. Life is awesome!

Seeing as I had an hour to kill before the meeting, I get lunch at this adorable deli that I just discovered last week. I debate actually skipping the meeting. I go anyway.

And I’m Late To Weight Watchers

I get there at 12:20, thinking the class has already started, the good news is people are still weighing in. I’m good. I sit there, realizing that besides the parents that brought their kids, I am the only one in the room under 50. A bunch of lil’ ol’ gossipy blue hairs, and snarky mothers that have nothing better to do that slag on others. I feel awkward, because there’s no one I know. But I give it a go anyway. The class is actually awesome.

And ten minutes in…

A Little Old Lady Has A Stroke

I’m two seats away from this woman. And one moment she says she doesn’t feel well and then the whole left side of her body convulses and she’s bam on the ground. There are about twenty-five people in this class. Twenty of them run.

Something in me tells me to stay. There was no voice in my head, there was no God touching me with a finger, it was just this innate instinct I needed to stay.

A little boy was there with his mother who’s a member. I’m guessing he was about ten, he says he “feels weird” and I ask him if he’s scared, he says no, but he’s clearly freaking out. I sit with him and tell him the famous Mr. Rogers quote here:

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“Look for the Helpers…” Mr. Rogers

The boy feels a bit better, and the other members and I get the woman talking. The first words out of her mouth are complete jibberish, confirming to the four other class members and myself what happened. Our leader borrows an iPhone and calls 911 and of course with it being an iPhone there is no way to confirm the address. So there’s a little bit of confusion on that part, we get it settled, I agree to go flag down the ambulance when they pull into the shopping center.

So… I head out into the parking lot….

Even Taylor is rather pissed off.

And There’s A Dog Baking In A Car

There’s this dog in a car, a basset hound, howling his head off in a car that has its windows rolled up. It’s 95 degrees outside with a heat index of 115 or more. This dog is cooking. A couple of people are around the car considering what to do, and while I’m waiting on the ambulance I shout to them “Break the window!” Because Florida has a law that if an animal or baby is left in a hot car, we can break the window and not be fined. One of the women calls to me “I called the cops!”

And she leaves.

And I was livid.

The ambulance arrives at just the right moment. I mention to them the lady’s inside but also about the dog. They tend to the lady, I go to see about the dog.

It Can’t Possibly Get Worse

We are in a shopping complex, and on our section of it, there is the Weight Watchers Center, a discount linens store, a Chinese restaurant, a pet store, and a closeout store. I start walking the line, walking in these places and announcing very loudly without a damn given on how it looks, “WHO IS THE ASSHOLE THAT’S COOKING THEIR DOG IN THE PARKING LOT.”

I scare the bejesus out of a few people, but do not give a shit, as no one comes forward. I continue on. I skip the Chinese restaurant because no possible way an owner of this dog is having a sit-down meal.

Or So I Thought

I get out of the pet store, and no one else comes forward, and I find one of the EMT’s talking to a girl and she is a girl (probably eighteen) next to the car and gesturing to her dog. She and her boyfriend were totally in the restaurant having a sit-down meal. 

And while I thought it really loud I reasoned out it wouldn’t be wise to slam this girl’s head against her car. You know… With the cops right there. And I probably couldn’t do it anyway. But I was so amped on adrenaline and rage I could have been capable of anything.

It Gets Better…. Kinda?

So, the lady is on the ambulance, the dog is safe, hurray! I head home. And because it is a bajillionthy degrees I stop at Starbucks, get two bottles of water, as well as a Valencia Orange Refresher. I am intent on drinking all these things on the way home.

I’m at a traffic light, my adrenaline and anger wearing off, and I see one of our many panhandlers in this town. But this guy is roasting. So I give him a bottle of water, and he is actually quite thankful and clearly not doing this for kicks. We have a lot of those in my town. I feel better. And I feel better that daaaaaaaaag I did a freaking lot of good deeds! That’s awesome!

So I go home, chill, hug my furkids. Dork around on Facebook…

And Then Dad Calls….

My Dad had locked his keys in his truck, and he called for me to bring him the spare key. He works on the Navy base and it’s five minutes from home. No problemo, I say!

I’m driving along a two lane street, with a car next to me going the exact speed, when a guy behind him decides the street needs to be three lanes. To avoid him, I have to swerve so hard, my car jumps a curb and I have two wheels on the sidewalk and two wheels on the street. I had hit the curb hard enough that I could feel my car go into that flipping motion if I had hit it going faster.

The guy speeds off. And I say NOT IN MY HOUSE!

Because he actually can’t get away because of traffic an a thing called a traffic light, I put the pedal to the floor, catch up to him, get an inch from his back bumper, and lay on the horn. When he finally looks in his rearview, I give him a properly pissed off one-finger salute. I was perfectly ready to get out of my car, pound on his window, and demand what the fuck was wrong with him but his windows were tinted, and I can’t throw a punch, and I didn’t know if he was armed. Logic won the day.

The Grand Moment of Clarity

I get Dad his key, life is grand. I’m driving back home and it hits me.

I am a fucking character in LOST.

Lost by JJ Abrams

In Other Words…

In other words… One of the dominating traits of the show is you’d have these super tragic characters with all their hangups, issues, and crazy crap, and then they’d reach this awesome moment of clarity where it all makes sense that they’re going to be okay.

And then they die in some horrible, tragic, meaningless way.

I am a character in LOST. That’s fucked up. It’s funny, but I’m not entirely sure if I’m kidding. God I hope so.

By The Way… My Book Came Out…

And I’m left thinking in all of this mess… “Oh… My book came out today. No big deal or nothing…”

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