Sally Felt's Blog, page 2

Play for pay

You’ve got a list of errands as long as your arm and a limited amount of time to get through it. Sound familiar?

Tempting as it is to become an efficiency drone, there are big benefits to taking a more playful approach. Let me share my most recent proof that it’s true.

Dance party at the Petco

Me and my to-do list entered the Big Box pet store and hauled a bag of premium cat food to the checkout stand. There I surrendered a coupon to the very young sales clerk, a skinny guy with glasses, braces and the slouch so common among teens of low self-esteem. While he did his thing, I said, “This brand always makes me feel like I’m buying Disco’s Greatest Hits, you know?”

At his curious glance, I used my best radio DJ voice. “Solid Gold Katz-N-Flocken!” I cried before executing a brief reprise of one of John Travolta’s classic dance routines.

The kid cracked up and complimented me before turning back to the register. He announced my total, assuring me it reflected my coupon discount.

My inner pixie asks for more

“Does it include the dancing discount as well?” I asked.

He glanced around, and seeing no sign of his manager, punched in his employee discount. “Now it does,” he said, grinning. And when I left, he stood a little straighter.

The whole exchange took maybe 15 seconds and brightened the day for both of us. Plus, I saved an additional $3.80.

How are you enriching your life with play today?

P.S. Disco lives! (At least at the Petco.)

Photo credit, disco ball: Sarah

Do you look for messages in dreams?

Freud is famous for (possibly) saying, “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” Dreams don’t always mean something.

But my favorite game is to ask, “If there were a message for me here, what would it be?” With dreams, you have to play right away, or the details will be lost. I’ll often narrate the dream to my cat upon waking, because speaking it helps me remember.

Why I don’t rely on dream books for interpretations

Dream dictionaries seldom help with this game because symbols in dreams are personal. For example, a dream featuring a baby. To an artist, it could represent a new creative project that needs nurturing. To an overworked manager, could represent a time-consuming responsibility. To a hopeful mother, it could represent a promise of pregnancy, and to a grieving mother, regret and loss. Etc.

My murder of crows

Last night, I dreamt of a tree full of crows. The tree stood between me and a place I visited often. As I approached the tree, crows flew toward me. I dropped to the ground and covered my head to protect my face. But the crows flew right on by.

Seems the crows were saying, It’s not about you.

Turning big symbols into personal tools

I should have known the crows weren’t a threat to me. Earlier in the dream, I’d shared coffee and conversation with someone at a table beneath that tree. So why the paranoia? And perhaps the more interesting question, why was “saving face” my primary concern?

(You can see why I’m a fan of narrating dreams and listening to the details I choose. That’s how things like saving face show up, along with other personal symbols unlikely to be in a dream dictionary.)

And connecting the dots

I’m reminded of my real-life crow visitation, about a year and a half ago. I saw that as a call to find magic in everyday things. But I used a book for that interpretation. If it happened today, I might see my food-carrying crow as a prompt to pay attention to juicy opportunities.

Could having dream crows fly past me indicate great opportunities I’ve failed to notice? Perhaps I tend to miss seeing opportunities that don’t mesh with my precious self-image (to bring saving face back into it).

Lots to think about.

You say you don’t remember your dreams?

A couple of things you can do to get better at it:

Before you turn out the light, set an intention to remember
Before you get up, spend your muzzy-headed minutes fishing for dream memories
Anything you get, speak it out loud. Write notes ASAP
Keep a notepad, pen and small flashlight handy for mid-night captures
Practice

Once you’ve nailed one, play the game. Bring friends.

A couple of my friends make great dream sounding boards. They catch things like saving face if I miss them. Maybe you’ve got similarly perceptive friends who can listen to you describe your dream and help you play the “if-it-had-a-message-for-me” game.

Have fun. Dream big.

Photo credit: SqueakyMarmot

What do you feel naked without?

Tiny notebooks like this one saved my trip to the Amazon

Some women are never without lipstick. For me, it’s travel-sized notebooks.
When size matters

I had a teeny tiny notebook with me in the Amazon the day my camera died. Instead of photos, I scribbled about everything from the local uses of manioc tubers (bread starch and also a topical anti-aging treatment for women) to the expected lifespan of a dugout canoe (2-3 years). I listed the types of birds, recorded conversations I had with locals and recipes for Peruvian specialties.

(When my traveling companion read the trip diary I compiled after returning home, she was stunned by how much she’d already forgotten.)

A few of my trusty Moleskine notebooks.

True companions for when I’m really in the mood

Teeny notebooks that fit in back pockets get me by. But for big writerly love, it’s Moleskine notebooks every time—sturdy cover, ribbon to mark my place, elastic strap to keep it closed, accordion pocket in back to stash smaller scraps of things.

I won’t buy one unless I can get squared rule pages. Somehow, it frees me to write as big or small as I want. The Moleskine goes with me to coffeeshops, conferences, Meetups and writers meetings.

My bookshelf holds a row of these trusty companions, some more flagged and battle scarred than others. Flip through one and you’ll find pages of stories, ideas for Tarot spreads, notes from lectures and drafts of blog posts.

Why messy works for me

With handwriting like mine, you’d think I’d use a computer for everything, but I get deep satisfaction from my pile of Moleskines, They are snapshots in time—as fragmented and messy as life. Paging through them, I can trace back to the roots of an idea. I can mark progress on projects I’m working on. And unlike time I spend at the computer, I can see tangible proof of what I’m doing.

No wonder I feel incomplete without some kind of notebook to hand.

What about you? Are there must-have tools in your life? A thing (or practice or app) that brings you satisfaction and a sense of security? I’d love to hear about it.

What does “personal brand” really mean?

My business card

I carry two business cards. My main card describes me as WriterSpeakerAdventurer, same as this site. and you can see the art for yourself. What the description lacks in specificity, it seems to make up in memorability. Folks see it and smile. Some exclaim in delight, needing to repeat it out loud.

When I chose these three words, they represented my personal aspirations. True, I’d been a writer for decades. But I’d not yet had a real speaking gig, and with a few exceptions, my adventures were mostly spiritual.

It worked. I’ve grown into the description. It fits me. When I give someone this business card and get a reaction, I’m not just connecting—I’m paying it forward. Inspiring someone else to take a risk, be playful, stretch a bit. That’s a brand I happily inhabit.

My card’s flip side.

So why carry more than one card? Let me start with a question (and a rant about my personal preferences in business card design).

What do your business cards say about you?

Do you carry cards? Perhaps, like me, several different ones? Trying to find a meaningful, memorable way to represent yourself on a 2 x 3.5” bit of card stock is confusing, isn’t it?

When working for someone else’s company, you take whatever is offered, even if the logo is ugly or your job title doesn’t reflect what you do.

When working a side hustle or are self employed (like me), you face delicious, agonizing freedom of choice all the way down the line.

Job title, yes or no?

If yes, what? I’ve seen quite a few that say President, or Owner. That doesn’t suit me, especially since I don’t operate under a business name. (“Owner of Sally Felt,” makes me giggle.)

I’m more drawn to cards that suggest what’s being offered, such as Illustrator, or Programmer, or Handyman, or Author. As time passes, cards like this help me remember who you are and why I kept your information.

Include Twitter, FB, LinkedIn, 2 phones, 2 webs, email etc.?

In the interest of helping clients, fans, colleagues and prospects reach us, it’s tempting to load up the business card with all our addresses, from email to website, social media, and maybe even snail mail address. Plus at least one phone number. Some authors I know include a list of book titles.

I prefer something sleeker. Simpler. Give me a card that doesn’t try to be all things to all people and I see you as a confident professional. I start to trust you before we’ve done more than exchange cards.

Paring down to essentials

The process of creating ideal business cards proved so tough that I’m currently carrying two cards while pondering how to get down to one.

Things I’ve solved: what to include

My name
A 2-3 word description of what I offer
My mobile number
One email address
This website

It makes for a clean, simple card that gives essential contact information. And I chose uncoated card stock so it’s easy to write on with an ordinary pen. (Do you like to make notes on people’s cards, like where and when you met them? I do.)

And at last, my answer to why two cards?

All that differs between my two business cards is the artwork and the self-description.

My second business card says Intuitive Tarot and uses striking close-up photos of dragonflies, suggesting the transformative potential of receiving a card reading. A Tarot reading is an intimate experience, and though my playful approach to life spills over into my Tarot business, I want a business card that reflects my client’s potential more than it reflects me.

Perhaps I’ll find a pare it down to just one card. Until then, I carry two. What’s a WriterSpeakerTarotAdventurer to do?

Business card design by Kelly Mills

Two more March events: Keeping company with amazing authors

The final two weekends in March see me taking part in big public events for readers.

Saturday March 23, 10am–5pm

Romancing the Books, free to the public

Bedford Public Library, Bedford TX

Join me and more than 30 authors and poets for a day of workshops, public readings, book signings and drawings for free goodies. At noon, I’ll be reading from Going Native.

Friday March 29, 6:30pm–8:30pm

Dreamin’ in Dallas book signing, free to the public

Doubletree Hotel, Richardson, TX

If you love romance, mark your calendar! I’m privileged to signing alongside such luminaries as Cherry Adair, Christy Craig, Meijean Brook, Lori Wilde, Shayla Black, Liliana Hart, Lorraine Heath and dozens of other incredibly talented authors. Sixty authors altogether! A portion of the evening’s proceeds will go to support local literacy programs. Great books for a good cause.

SWAG: One more reason to see me at the Dreamin’ in Dallas event

If you’ve read Going Native, you know one of the key characters is a dachshund named Bing… and he inspired my giveaways for this huge Friday night event. Stop by to say hi, and I promise you won’t go away empty handed.

When one ear closes, another opens

Long silence since my last post. Literally. Twice now, I’ve lost my hearing to sinus infections. First time, I freaked out. This time, I’ve been able to appreciate the way it minimizes distractions, making it easier to stay present.

Only just now have I regained enough voice to try catching up with the stack of Tarot reading requests that have been waiting far too long. What I still lack in vocal power is balanced with enhanced intuitive capacity, so clients receiving my first, scratchy, post-ick recordings are getting full benefit of my undistracted state.

If you’re one of my beloved Tarot clients and I owe you a reading, hang in there. I should be caught up by weekend’s end. (Those of you with March birthdays, I haven’t forgotten you!) Thank you for your patience.

Photo credit: Helga Weber

Romance that lasts: vintage London Fog

You could say Violet (the heroine of Going Native) loves clothes a little too much, especially the clothes in her friend Giselle’s closet. To her, they represent romance, adventure, feminine power and sex. When she tries on Giselle’s clothes, she’s trying on Giselle’s life—and gets more than she bargained for.

There’s romance in my closet, too, in the form of a raincoat I bought more than 20 years ago.

I justified paying full price for it by measuring it against my list of requirements. And quite a long list it was. My perfect raincoat needed:

Career-appropriate appearance
Zip out liner
Single breasted
No belt
Neither beige nor black

Yes, I was an unapologetic perfectionist. Some requirements were practical, like the lining. Most were vanity, based on mistakes I’d already made. (I don’t look good in trench-coat tan, not many belted coats look good unbuttoned, etc.)

I looked high and low, unwilling to compromise. And then I found it. A grey-green London Fog with a floral print in muted purples. It fulfilled every requirement.

At rainbow’s end, I found rain-repellent happiness

As I pulled the coat from the department store hanger, I heard angels sing. This was love.

Some garment love affairs are short lived. One season. Two. And I admit my trusty London Fog hasn’t always been the first coat I reached for every one of the 20-plus years since my ecstatic purchase. But it’s been a consistent player in the rotation. This winter it’s enjoying near-constant wear, partly because it’s been a perfect match to local weather and partly because a friend’s daughter knitted me an infinity scarf that’s an uncanny match, color-wise.

“Where did you get your coat? I love it!”

From a cost-per-wearing standpoint alone, it’s become one of the thriftiest purchases I have ever made. But there’s more.

The coat attracts groupies. Fashion-conscious women, who were toddlers when the coat was made, lust after its stand-up collar and shoulder pads. They dig its inverted back pleat and angular sleeve detail. They swoon to think there’s a coat that goes so perfectly with a purple purse and gloves.

It’s even possible they hear the angels sing, though I’ve not asked.

Is the thing fashionable? I haven’t a clue. I wear it because I love it and because it’s just so darned perfect. I don’t even mind the smug told you so offered by past-perfectionist me.

How’s your closet love life? Tell me about one of your longest-lived garments. Do you still love wearing it, or is the thrill gone?

February 1 with the Plotting Princesses and Groundhog Day

I’m a summer gal. So by the time we reach the end of January, beginning of February, I’m already desperate for warm temperatures and long, sunlit days and it seems they will never come. Maybe that’s why I love the 1993 film “Groundhog Day.”

As Phil Connor (the Bill Murray character) says, “You want a prediction about the weather, you’re asking the wrong Phil. I’ll give you a winter prediction: It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be grey, and it’s gonna last you for the rest of your life.”

I love it because, of course, it doesn’t last the rest of his life. He’s stuck. Feeling trapped and hopeless. And with Groundhog Day, he has a magical opportunity to change his outlook, his luck, his heart and ultimately, his life.

So does the heroine of Going Native. Come join me on the Plotting Princesses blog to talk about the courage to change.

Join me and Tawny Weber Friday January 25

Guest blogging today over at Tawny Weber’s place. Tawny writes hot romance for Harlequin Blaze, as well as being a dabbler in feng shui, a rockin’ intuitive consultant and an overall cool woman.

Come by and give me some comment love. I’m giving away some “Recovering Good Girl” swag.

When “good girls” go wild

Family expectations. Peer pressure. Poor self image. It’s easy to understand why so many of us wind up living life by someone else’s rules—being Good Girls. Do it long enough and it becomes a tough habit to break.

Ready to join Good Girls recovery?

Good girls don’t make demands or attract attention. Even the smallest steps toward independent self expression take courage. It feels like a crazy rebellion, rife with potential for dire consequences.

It helps to have a friend or role model who actively creates the life of her dreams. Someone to encourage us to say what we think and pursue what we want.

For Violet, the heroine of my sexy romance Going Native, it’s a free-spirited friend who lives the glamorous lifestyle of Violet’s dreams. In the book, Violet literally steps into her friend’s shoes for a month, learning what it feels like to live larger.

(Naturally, complications ensue. It’s a romantic comedy, after all.)

Bravery comes in all forms (and t-shirt sizes)

If you’re like me, still working to break the habit of second guessing yourself (or whatever Good Girl behavior is your personal bugaboo), I invite you to solicit support. Friends. Or a mentor.

Step out. Take a chance. Learn what sets you on fire. You are the only you the world will ever know (and I am the only me). Our voices matter. Solidarity for recovering Good Girls!

To get a t-shirt like the one I’m wearing here, visit my CafePress store. And if you’d like to read Violet’s adventures on the wild side, order Going Native from Ellora’s Cave or your favorite book e-tailer.