Sam Garton's Blog, page 2
October 15, 2014
Giraffe Gets Bad News (Attic Mission 4/5)
Today has been difficult: I had to explain to Giraffe that he won’t be coming on the Attic Mission with us, despite his help with making the Anti-Spider Protection Vehicle. Otter Keeper says we can’t all go to the attic.
I think Giraffe has taken the news fairly well. I’ve given him 2 Glowsticks as compensation and promised to tell him all about the attic when we return. I’ve also said he can look after the torch until Saturday. (I think this has helped a bit, because Giraffe loves the torch.)
This might all be for the best. Giraffe has had no spider training whatsoever, so he just isn’t prepared for attic exploration! Sometimes being the Mission Leader is hard, but I know I’ve made the right decision. (Also, Giraffe doesn’t know how to turn the torch on, so the battery will be safe.)
September 30, 2014
Anti-Spider Protection Vehicle
Great news! After many hours of hard work I can happily say that the spider problem has now been solved. I would like to introduce: The Anti-Spider Protection Vehicle or A.S.P.V.for short.
The A.S.P.V. has been specially designed to allow the otter inside to concentrate on important attic missions (and talk to Santa), without having to worry about spiders. It features a clear ‘anti spider’ message on the side and it’s very hard for them to get in. I have also added Glowsticks because, as everyone knows, spiders hate Glowsticks.
Unfortunately, the A.S.P.V. is only big enough to carry one otter, and there is no room for best friends. This means Teddy won’t fit. He was a little upset at first, but has promised to be brave, and he is happy that I will be safe from the spiders. I said I’d give him some extra spider training, so things should be fine.
Finally, I want to point out that that the A.S.P.V. is not just confined to attic missions. If you are really scared of spiders, the A.S.P.V. could make everyday life around the house much easier. You can even take a trip to the local shop, park or Post Office, safe inside your A.S.P.V. I know this works because I took mine to the post office. This was frustrating for Otter Keeper, but everyone else was very interested and talked to me lots. If you’d like to build your own A.S.P.V., just ask me, Teddy, or Giraffe for details.
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Anti-Spider Protection Vehicle (Attic Mission part 3/5)
Great news! After many hours of hard work I can happily say that the spider problem has now been solved. I would like to introduce: The Anti-Spider Protection Vehicle or A.S.P.V.for short.
The A.S.P.V. has been specially designed to allow the otter inside to concentrate on important attic missions (and talk to Santa), without having to worry about spiders. It features a clear ‘anti spider’ message on the side and it’s very hard for them to get in. I have also added Glowsticks because, as everyone knows, spiders hate Glowsticks.
Unfortunately, the A.S.P.V. is only big enough to carry one otter, and there is no room for best friends. This means Teddy won’t fit. He was a little upset at first, but has promised to be brave, and he is happy that I will be safe from the spiders. I said I’d give him some extra spider training, so things should be fine.
Finally, I want to point out that that the A.S.P.V. is not just confined to attic missions. If you are really scared of spiders, the A.S.P.V. could make everyday life around the house much easier. You can even take a trip to the local shop, park or Post Office, safe inside your A.S.P.V. I know this works because I took mine to the post office. This was frustrating for Otter Keeper, but everyone else was very interested and talked to me lots. If you’d like to build your own A.S.P.V., just ask me, Teddy, or Giraffe for details.
September 23, 2014
Spider Training
This past week, Teddy and I have been very busy preparing for the Attic Mission. We’ve held regular Q&A sessions with Otter Keeper, to find out as much as we can about the attic. These sessions have been very useful and we have learnt a lot! For example, did you know that Christmas decorations are stored in the attic? This means that it is technically Christmas all year round up there! (It could also mean it’s where Santa lives…)
However, in Friday’s Q&A (our least favourite so far), we found out that although there is a chance Santa may live in our attic, there is a much better chance that there are spiders up there. This is bad news because Teddy is very scared of spiders. I’ve had to come up with an additional spider-training module, at very short notice.
Phase one went well. I drew a picture of a spider and told Teddy that spiders are really not very scary, and he felt a lot better. We discussed spiders a lot and developed an important theory: spiders are scared of Glowsticks. Otter Keeper said this wasn’t the case, but he later admitted he has never actually seen a spider when he’s been holding a Glowstick.
Phase two involved looking up spider pictures on the Internet. It turns out phase two was a very bad idea, and I now wish we hadn’t done phase two at all. Actually, I don’t really want to talk about phase two. Phase two ruined everything. I’m never doing a phase two of anything ever again. Ever!
I’m trying to be brave for Teddy, but the truth is the Attic Mission may have to be called off altogether. Unless, that is, I can come up with a really clever plan..
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Spider Training (Attic Mission part 2 – 5)
This past week, Teddy and I have been very busy preparing for the Attic Mission. We’ve held regular Q&A sessions with Otter Keeper, to find out as much as we can about the attic. These sessions have been very useful and we have learnt a lot! For example, did you know that Christmas decorations are stored in the attic? This means that it is technically Christmas all year round up there! (It could also mean it’s where Santa lives…)
However, in Friday’s Q&A (our least favourite so far), we found out that although there is a chance Santa may live in our attic, there is a much better chance that there are spiders up there. This is bad news because Teddy is very scared of spiders. I’ve had to come up with an additional spider-training module, at very short notice.
Phase one went well. I drew a picture of a spider and told Teddy that spiders are really not very scary, and he felt a lot better. We discussed spiders a lot and developed an important theory: spiders are scared of Glowsticks. Otter Keeper said this wasn’t the case, but he later admitted he has never actually seen a spider when he’s been holding a Glowstick.
Phase two involved looking up spider pictures on the Internet. It turns out phase two was a very bad idea, and I now wish we hadn’t done phase two at all. Actually, I don’t really want to talk about phase two. Phase two ruined everything. I’m never doing a phase two of anything ever again. Ever!
I’m trying to be brave for Teddy, but the truth is the Attic Mission may have to be called off altogether. Unless, that is, I can come up with a really clever plan..
September 16, 2014
Otter Attic Mission!
Otter Attic Mission
At dinner last night, Teddy and I got some interesting (and very exciting!) news. Otter Keeper told us all about a room in the house that we didn’t even know existed: the attic!
The attic is the room right at the top of the house, and when it was built nobody remembered to build stairs up to it. Otter Keeper says the attic is very dark and is used to store things we don’t need but also don’t want to throw away. I can’t believe he’s only telling us about it now!
After admitting he’d been keeping the most exciting room in the whole house a secret, Otter Keeper then told me and Teddy that he would be going up to the attic soon to put some things up there.
At this point we left the table without asking, which got us into trouble – but Otter Keeper must understand that if we are all going on an Attic Mission, there will be a lot for me and Teddy to do! (I suggested that if he wanted to moan at someone, Giraffe had plenty of spare time at the moment. I’m not sure what he said after that, because by that point we’d already left the room.)
Teddy and I spent most of the next hour doing two things: first, hiding from Otter Keeper (who was running around, insisting we come back and finish dinner), and second, trying to hold an important Attic Mission planning meeting. Despite the logistical issues, Teddy and I have completed stage one of our plan: making attic suits!
Our attic suits are specially designed to help us see in the dark. I had to let Teddy use my Glowsticks because we only had one torch (and Santa brought it for me). I had been saving these for a special occasion, so I told Teddy he would have to pay me back out of his pocket money. Unfortunately, Teddy doesn’t get pocket money, but I didn’t think about this until after I’d said he could use the Glowsticks.
Teddy and I are now embarking on an intensive attic mission training schedule. Otter Keeper refuses to give us an exact date for the Attic Mission (he also refuses to call it a “mission”), but we suspect it won’t be long, and when it comes we must be prepared! We’ll keep you updated on our progress…this is going to be VERY exciting!
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The post Otter Attic Mission! appeared first on I AM OTTER.
Otter Attic Mission! (Part 1 of 5)
At dinner last night, Teddy and I got some interesting (and very exciting!) news. Otter Keeper told us all about a room in the house that we didn’t even know existed: the attic!
The attic is the room right at the top of the house, and when it was built nobody remembered to build stairs up to it. Otter Keeper says the attic is very dark and is used to store things we don’t need but also don’t want to throw away. I can’t believe he’s only telling us about it now!
After admitting he’d been keeping the most exciting room in the whole house a secret, Otter Keeper then told me and Teddy that he would be going up to the attic soon to put some things up there.
At this point we left the table without asking, which got us into trouble – but Otter Keeper must understand that if we are all going on an Attic Mission, there will be a lot for me and Teddy to do! (I suggested that if he wanted to moan at someone, Giraffe had plenty of spare time at the moment. I’m not sure what he said after that, because by that point we’d already left the room.)
Teddy and I spent most of the next hour doing two things: first, hiding from Otter Keeper (who was running around, insisting we come back and finish dinner), and second, trying to hold an important Attic Mission planning meeting. Despite the logistical issues, Teddy and I have completed stage one of our plan: making attic suits!
Our attic suits are specially designed to help us see in the dark. I had to let Teddy use my Glowsticks because we only had one torch (and Santa brought it for me). I had been saving these for a special occasion, so I told Teddy he would have to pay me back out of his pocket money. Unfortunately, Teddy doesn’t get pocket money, but I didn’t think about this until after I’d said he could use the Glowsticks.
Teddy and I are now embarking on an intensive attic mission training schedule. Otter Keeper refuses to give us an exact date for the Attic Mission (he also refuses to call it a “mission”), but we suspect it won’t be long, and when it comes we must be prepared! We’ll keep you updated on our progress…this is going to be VERY exciting!
July 1, 2014
Summer Reading Instructions
It’s nice weather at the moment, so Teddy and I have been spending a lot of time in the garden reading. I like to be helpful, so I thought it would be a be a good idea to make this chart explaining how to get the most from your garden reading experience. I was going to write a story to explain things, but I have to go back to reading….
June 17, 2014
The Weekend Jar
I don’t know who invented weeks, but they didn’t do a very good job. A normal week has five days where Otter Keeper goes to work, and only two days for him to spend time with me. This is obviously unfair and it’s been bothering me and Teddy for some time. This Sunday we finally managed to get Otter Keeper to sit down and discuss the problem with us.
The meeting got off to a bad start. It turns out that although Otter Keeper is in charge of most things, he is not in any control whatsoever of how long the weekend lasts. I was about to cancel the meeting, when he said he had an idea: he suggested Teddy and I make a weekend jar!
Otter Keeper said we needed to take an empty jar from the kitchen and fill it with things that remind us of the weekend. This way, when we feel a little sad during the week we will still have a little bit of the weekend in a jar to make us happy. This was a fantastic idea, and we filled our weekend jar with the following happy weekend things:
A photo of Otter Keeper (The real Otter Keeper didn’t want to be put in the jar, and he wouldn’t fit anyway).
A leaf from the park (Otter Keeper takes us to the park every weekend).
The little cartoon bit from Otter Keeper’s Sunday paper.
A bit of toast (Otter Keeper didn’t want this to go in, and I had to point out that I was technically in charge of the weekend Jar. Otter Keeper said more things after this but they were boring and I put the toast in anyway.)
By the time we were finished it was time to go to bed, but I didn’t mind. I was actually looking forward to Monday, and that had never happened before!
Sadly, the next morning things didn’t go to plan. Otter Keeper left for work as usual and it still felt very much like a normal Monday. We tried spending time with the weekend jar, but it really didn’t seem to help very much. I left Teddy sitting with the jar for 38.5 minutes and he said he still felt the exactly the same! We then tried hugging the jar, talking to it and even rolled it around on the floor, but nothing worked. Our weekend jar was broken and it was very disappointing.
When Otter Keeper got home I explained that the weekend jar needed his urgent attention, but he said he was busy. I realised the only option was to fix it myself. Luckily I’m very good at fixing things, and I made a few modifications later that evening.
Today is Tuesday, and the weekend jar is working much better now! This is because of two very clever Otter™ upgrades. Firstly, the weekend jar now contains Otter Keeper’s car keys. Secondly, it is buried at the bottom of the garden.
I’m pleased to report that it is now lunchtime and Otter Keeper is still at home! He’s spending a lot of time hunting around the house, being grumpy or talking to people on the phone, but he is technically spending time with us. I asked Teddy if he thought it felt like a Saturday, and he said it definitely did.
The only problem is that I have a strange feeling that this could be one of those days when I suddenly get into a lot of trouble when I’m not expecting it. As a precautionary measure I have left Giraffe outside next to where we buried the weekend jar. I also said he could look after the spade for the rest of the day.
One final thing! Otter Keeper says I shouldn’t pester people to buy my book, but seeing as it looks like I might get into trouble today anyway, I’m just going to say: Please, PLEASE buy a copy (or 10) of my book. Otter Keeper says if we sell enough books he will be allowed to make more. And we all want that!
‘I Am Otter’ Is available to buy in places such as: Books Of Wonder (who have signed copies), Indiebound, Amazon, Barnes&Noble, BooksAMillion. If it’s not in your local book shop, please throw (soft-ish) things at the staff and demand it.
April 16, 2014
Party Directions!
Sorry everyone, Teddy forgot to include directions to the party in yesterday’s story! This was an oversight on his behalf and he wants to apologise to everyone. He was in charge of directions. I wasn’t. My only crime was to trust Teddy.
I’ve explained to him that It’s important to know where a party is, so that you know where to go. You don’t want to end up in the wrong place, especially when you’ve been looking forward to a really fun party.
Luckily I’ve made this useful map using crayons. Make sure you print it out before you leave, I’m not supposed to pick up the house phone so I won’t be able to provide additional directional assistance on the big day. If you look carefully at the map, our party can be found on the right, marked in red crayon.
See you all soon!
Otter + Teddy
(Official party organisers)
