A.J. Sand's Blog, page 3
November 2, 2013
A Fighting Chance teaser #2
"“I saw you fight in Guadalajara. You were trying to be noble.” Sandrine sticks another cigarette between her lips and exhales smoke through her nose. “There is no honor in this, Jesse, and don’t bring it into those places with you. These guys will kill you if you let them. Without hesitation or remorse or any regard for who’ll miss you. Never forget that.”" --A Fighting Chance, 2014. [teaser from unedited version].
October 24, 2013
A Fighting Chance teaser
The blurb of AFC is somewhere below this post, but if you're too lazy, here's the three sentence synopsis: Jesse Chance is a former underground fighter who moved on from the life when his mom died. He's been at college far from his home in Glory, Texas, but his dad shows up, begging for his help. And what he ends up having to do forces him back into the ring.
And this is the unedited teaser:
I’m standing in front of Murphy’s Bar, unable to decide if the unbearable heat or the heavy ball of emotion in my stomach is worse. I take in the evening scenery, and it’s like I’ve unearthed Glory from a time capsule, because not a single store, house or car has changed in four years.
“Well, well…the bastard son returns,” Jeremy Huck says. He’s still fucking leaning on the wall outside of Murphy’s like he’s holding it up. “Heard you went off to some Yankee college. What? They put you out?”
“Is my dad in there?” He’s not answering my calls, and this is the best place to find him after dark.
“You have one of those?” I don’t even bother giving him the finger or a response, and I edge past him and step inside. It’s full of the usual crowd, another thing that hasn’t changed, and the jukebox still plays too low to hear it. “Henry left about ten minutes ago,” he continues, trailing me. “His barstool’s still warm, though. Go sit. He left his drink, too. You can have it. Like father, like son of a whore.” My elbow connects with his face right in the middle of his laughter. There's a cracking sound—some might call the noise sickening, I call it earned—and he drops to his knees. Blood is already gushing from his nostrils, seeping through the spaces between his fingers, by the time I turn around, and he’s howling in pain. Dammit, I was hoping for teeth.
“Motherfucker, you’re still a piece of shit! You’re trash! You came into the world a piece of shit, and no fancy car or fancy college is going to change that, Chance.” His twin brother, Isaac, runs toward me but has a change of heart and tends to Jeremy instead.
Everyone in the bar is watching us. Some of them crane their necks to get a better look and I see the recognition in their eyes, followed by agreement with the Hucks. I tsk. These are the people who marched into Sacred Hearts Baptist to pray for the soul of my mother the sinner on Sundays, and angrily urged me to slam another boy’s bloody face into stretched canvas on Thursdays.
Home sweet home. I walk outside, keeping my back to Murphy’s to let the Hucks know neither actually poses any threat to me, but I’m ready to go back to my hotel, a tiny inn a few towns over. I want to go back to Hamilton, actually. I want to hide. The old feelings come rushing in, and for a moment I hear a never quite forgotten voice in my head reminding me, too, of what I am here. Worthless. Unloved. I haven’t heard that voice in a while, even though it belongs to me.
It’s only after I release a breath that I realize I’m clenching everything from jaw to fists. Shaking, too. I wish I could say Jeremy's words don’t matter anymore, but they do. They fester; the psyche collects them like a bag that never fills. It just expands and reshapes itself, finding new ways to pack all the hurt, humiliation and pain into its spaces, and then makes room for more. What’s interesting is that if you internalize enough negativity, other people’s insults just end up complementing the damage you do on your own. Glory carved quite a wound in me. And some wounds just don’t heal. But I spent a lot of time re-cutting it myself.
And this is the unedited teaser:
I’m standing in front of Murphy’s Bar, unable to decide if the unbearable heat or the heavy ball of emotion in my stomach is worse. I take in the evening scenery, and it’s like I’ve unearthed Glory from a time capsule, because not a single store, house or car has changed in four years.
“Well, well…the bastard son returns,” Jeremy Huck says. He’s still fucking leaning on the wall outside of Murphy’s like he’s holding it up. “Heard you went off to some Yankee college. What? They put you out?”
“Is my dad in there?” He’s not answering my calls, and this is the best place to find him after dark.
“You have one of those?” I don’t even bother giving him the finger or a response, and I edge past him and step inside. It’s full of the usual crowd, another thing that hasn’t changed, and the jukebox still plays too low to hear it. “Henry left about ten minutes ago,” he continues, trailing me. “His barstool’s still warm, though. Go sit. He left his drink, too. You can have it. Like father, like son of a whore.” My elbow connects with his face right in the middle of his laughter. There's a cracking sound—some might call the noise sickening, I call it earned—and he drops to his knees. Blood is already gushing from his nostrils, seeping through the spaces between his fingers, by the time I turn around, and he’s howling in pain. Dammit, I was hoping for teeth.
“Motherfucker, you’re still a piece of shit! You’re trash! You came into the world a piece of shit, and no fancy car or fancy college is going to change that, Chance.” His twin brother, Isaac, runs toward me but has a change of heart and tends to Jeremy instead.
Everyone in the bar is watching us. Some of them crane their necks to get a better look and I see the recognition in their eyes, followed by agreement with the Hucks. I tsk. These are the people who marched into Sacred Hearts Baptist to pray for the soul of my mother the sinner on Sundays, and angrily urged me to slam another boy’s bloody face into stretched canvas on Thursdays.
Home sweet home. I walk outside, keeping my back to Murphy’s to let the Hucks know neither actually poses any threat to me, but I’m ready to go back to my hotel, a tiny inn a few towns over. I want to go back to Hamilton, actually. I want to hide. The old feelings come rushing in, and for a moment I hear a never quite forgotten voice in my head reminding me, too, of what I am here. Worthless. Unloved. I haven’t heard that voice in a while, even though it belongs to me.
It’s only after I release a breath that I realize I’m clenching everything from jaw to fists. Shaking, too. I wish I could say Jeremy's words don’t matter anymore, but they do. They fester; the psyche collects them like a bag that never fills. It just expands and reshapes itself, finding new ways to pack all the hurt, humiliation and pain into its spaces, and then makes room for more. What’s interesting is that if you internalize enough negativity, other people’s insults just end up complementing the damage you do on your own. Glory carved quite a wound in me. And some wounds just don’t heal. But I spent a lot of time re-cutting it myself.
September 16, 2013
I think it's time we talk about Lana...[SPOILER-Y]
This is one of those wordy A.J. posts... you know how I am. ;)
So I have to confess I was having serious anxiety about Recklessly. It was the story I wanted to write obvi, but I was panicking because it wasn't traditional in the boy meets girl way. But I was also freaking out about Lana because I knew she would be a hard character to digest, as she was supposed to be. My CEO of "AJ, you need to calm the eff down," Shelley, said Lana made her "uncomfortable" LOL. HAHAHA. Seriously, it's a perfect description. Lana Langston is my favorite (self-made) character ever (short of Jesse Chance, who I love more than Wes).
I'm obsessed with flawed female characters because I think they get way too bad of a rap in fiction. I've been called defiant by just about everyone who knows me personally (It's true. I am. I'm my father's child), so guess why I love writing flawed female characters? Because they get a bad rap. It's my way of pushing back I suppose. I've made it a point to write about women who maybe get under your skin at times. It's purposeful (and yes, it freaks me out that I do this sometimes because as much as I will always do what I want to do, no matter how terrible the light cast on human nature, I still of course hope you like it lol).
Why?
Because human beings aren't simple at all...and I envision my characters as people struggling in the world and making mistakes and fucking things up just like actual, real people.
And this is why I loved creating Lana so much.
Imagine all the times you weren't your best self. When fear or anger or cray cray got in the way of that. All the times you hurt the people you cared about....AND maybe in some cases it presented a situation where they should've washed their hands of you. Maybe they did for a while. Or forever. Maybe you walked away to figure out your crap, so you could be better. Lana was written for THAT woman. For the woman who screwed up something amazing she had for whatever reason. Not to justify her or make her someone you understand necessarily but really to acknowledge her existence. She's the personification of "that time I fucked up really badly, guys..."
That's a real thing. Impossible to go an entire lifetime without hurting the people we care about. And I swore on my MacBook Air keyboard I would never, ever shy away from showing things like that.
And at the end of the day, I think more than anything, if I have a message, that's it. My characters are really just about saying, "Hey, this person exists in the world and they should exist in fiction, too."
So I have to confess I was having serious anxiety about Recklessly. It was the story I wanted to write obvi, but I was panicking because it wasn't traditional in the boy meets girl way. But I was also freaking out about Lana because I knew she would be a hard character to digest, as she was supposed to be. My CEO of "AJ, you need to calm the eff down," Shelley, said Lana made her "uncomfortable" LOL. HAHAHA. Seriously, it's a perfect description. Lana Langston is my favorite (self-made) character ever (short of Jesse Chance, who I love more than Wes).
I'm obsessed with flawed female characters because I think they get way too bad of a rap in fiction. I've been called defiant by just about everyone who knows me personally (It's true. I am. I'm my father's child), so guess why I love writing flawed female characters? Because they get a bad rap. It's my way of pushing back I suppose. I've made it a point to write about women who maybe get under your skin at times. It's purposeful (and yes, it freaks me out that I do this sometimes because as much as I will always do what I want to do, no matter how terrible the light cast on human nature, I still of course hope you like it lol).
Why?
Because human beings aren't simple at all...and I envision my characters as people struggling in the world and making mistakes and fucking things up just like actual, real people.
And this is why I loved creating Lana so much.
Imagine all the times you weren't your best self. When fear or anger or cray cray got in the way of that. All the times you hurt the people you cared about....AND maybe in some cases it presented a situation where they should've washed their hands of you. Maybe they did for a while. Or forever. Maybe you walked away to figure out your crap, so you could be better. Lana was written for THAT woman. For the woman who screwed up something amazing she had for whatever reason. Not to justify her or make her someone you understand necessarily but really to acknowledge her existence. She's the personification of "that time I fucked up really badly, guys..."
That's a real thing. Impossible to go an entire lifetime without hurting the people we care about. And I swore on my MacBook Air keyboard I would never, ever shy away from showing things like that.
And at the end of the day, I think more than anything, if I have a message, that's it. My characters are really just about saying, "Hey, this person exists in the world and they should exist in fiction, too."
A Fighting Chance
I'm moving on from Kai and co. for now, but I'm excited to be starting something new! I've always wanted to dabble in Suspense/Romantic Suspense because I feel like it would give me even more license to write cursing and sex and violence than, say, Contemp Rom; I can push the limits a bit. Anyway, here's what's up next:
A Fighting Chance
Jesse Chance is a bastard.
And that’s all he heard his entire life growing up once news got out that he was the illegitimate child of womanizing ex-con, Henry Chance.
Stuck in Glory, Texas, a town too small to escape the sins of his parents, Jesse turned into exactly what everyone expected him to be: a lover of liquor and women, and so good with his fists, he became a teenage champion of the secret underground fighting rings that float around The South, while doubting the only people who ever believed he could be more, his ailing mother, and his girlfriend, Drew Hallisay.
Determined to make his mother’s dying wish come true, he enrolled in a college on the East Coast, and far away from his past. Jesse Chance is reborn into a new life, and set on keeping Glory, Texas--and Henry Chance--in his rear view.
Until a visit from his father in the middle of the night changes everything.
Forced to return to Glory to prevent a tragedy, Jesse is soon back on the fighting circuit with Drew's help and facing the history he was so desperate to escape, the part of him he would prefer to hide.
As he slips back into his old ways--Henry Chance's ways--he finds himself torn between the guy he was and the one he’s been struggling to become. And in a world dead set on betting against you, can you ever really overcome your past… or your destiny?
Romantic Suspense. 17+ due to adult language, sexual content and violence. It'll probably be long... wait, it's me, so it will be long.
I swear one of these days, I'll attempt to write something where everyone's happy and everything's okay...LOL...JUST KIDDING. Should have an excerpt up soon.
A Fighting Chance
Jesse Chance is a bastard.
And that’s all he heard his entire life growing up once news got out that he was the illegitimate child of womanizing ex-con, Henry Chance.
Stuck in Glory, Texas, a town too small to escape the sins of his parents, Jesse turned into exactly what everyone expected him to be: a lover of liquor and women, and so good with his fists, he became a teenage champion of the secret underground fighting rings that float around The South, while doubting the only people who ever believed he could be more, his ailing mother, and his girlfriend, Drew Hallisay.
Determined to make his mother’s dying wish come true, he enrolled in a college on the East Coast, and far away from his past. Jesse Chance is reborn into a new life, and set on keeping Glory, Texas--and Henry Chance--in his rear view.
Until a visit from his father in the middle of the night changes everything.
Forced to return to Glory to prevent a tragedy, Jesse is soon back on the fighting circuit with Drew's help and facing the history he was so desperate to escape, the part of him he would prefer to hide.
As he slips back into his old ways--Henry Chance's ways--he finds himself torn between the guy he was and the one he’s been struggling to become. And in a world dead set on betting against you, can you ever really overcome your past… or your destiny?
Romantic Suspense. 17+ due to adult language, sexual content and violence. It'll probably be long... wait, it's me, so it will be long.
I swear one of these days, I'll attempt to write something where everyone's happy and everything's okay...LOL...JUST KIDDING. Should have an excerpt up soon.
August 28, 2013
August 24, 2013
Recklessly's Release Week...
Recklessly's Release Week is next week and there are a bunch of bloggers participating (I'm seriously excited). Check out which blogs will have an excerpt, etc + giveaway and on which day:
Recklessly's Release Week Event Blog List
Recklessly's Release Week Event Blog List
August 21, 2013
August 11, 2013
No Teaser Tuesday This Week, but You Get a Sunday Post Full O' Stuff About Recklessly
Oh heeeeeeeeeeeey guys. So, this is longish. 'Cause it's me and I don't shut up.
So Recklessly is out soon (about two weeks), and I figured we'd have a fireside chat about what to expect.
And guess what? I'm not freaking out this time and doing stupid things!!
Anyway, I knew at some point I wanted to write a story about two people who love casual sex, who don't use it as medicine for a tortured soul personality issue, and don't see engaging in it as some type of conquest thing.They pretty much agree that sex is GREAT in and of itself (obvi), it doesn't need heart-shaped glitter exploding into the air every time it happens (I think Lana even says this at one point lol), and it doesn't have to include love beforehand.
So basically this is what happens when these two very similar people who believe this start to fall for each other and find themselves in transition. You're thinking, "Oh, I've read this before..."
Maybe.
But you've never met Wes and Lana. =) Wes you've met, sort of. Wes + Lana is a whole different sitch.
The housekeeping:
- Recklessly is unrelated to Documentary and Remake as far as the plot goes (although, timing wise, it takes place sometime in the year after Remake, and expect some familiar faces...).
- This is NOT a traditional romance (obvi), and it's not supposed to be. Recklessly is probably not "comfort food" reading. Don't expect it to be easy street. I'm pretty hard on my characters because I'm a sadist writer. I'm KIDDING...about the sadist part. But Wes and Lana are pretty fiery, flawed personalities, which is super fun to write, but that makes them fairly troublesome.
- I didn't idealize Wes and Lana and they aren't meant to be role models (nothing to do with their expression of their sexuality either, btw; These are prob my favorites ever. I just wanted to write people like, well, how people are--flawed and sometimes kinda hot mess).
-The Seks: Wes and Lana enjoy sex and their sexuality rather unapologetically. Do I think it's the smuttiest book you'll ever read? No. Not by far. But I don't fade to black LOL...
- Yup. It's still long. They'll always be long lol I don't shut up, so they don't shut up. Approx. 113k words.
- Everyone has the mouth of a sailor, like usual, and mostly cursing 'cause they can, but the language is explicit in other ways sometimes.
I think I've covered everything people are usually interested to know!
So Recklessly is out soon (about two weeks), and I figured we'd have a fireside chat about what to expect.
And guess what? I'm not freaking out this time and doing stupid things!!
Anyway, I knew at some point I wanted to write a story about two people who love casual sex, who don't use it as medicine for a tortured soul personality issue, and don't see engaging in it as some type of conquest thing.They pretty much agree that sex is GREAT in and of itself (obvi), it doesn't need heart-shaped glitter exploding into the air every time it happens (I think Lana even says this at one point lol), and it doesn't have to include love beforehand.
So basically this is what happens when these two very similar people who believe this start to fall for each other and find themselves in transition. You're thinking, "Oh, I've read this before..."
Maybe.
But you've never met Wes and Lana. =) Wes you've met, sort of. Wes + Lana is a whole different sitch.
The housekeeping:
- Recklessly is unrelated to Documentary and Remake as far as the plot goes (although, timing wise, it takes place sometime in the year after Remake, and expect some familiar faces...).
- This is NOT a traditional romance (obvi), and it's not supposed to be. Recklessly is probably not "comfort food" reading. Don't expect it to be easy street. I'm pretty hard on my characters because I'm a sadist writer. I'm KIDDING...about the sadist part. But Wes and Lana are pretty fiery, flawed personalities, which is super fun to write, but that makes them fairly troublesome.
- I didn't idealize Wes and Lana and they aren't meant to be role models (nothing to do with their expression of their sexuality either, btw; These are prob my favorites ever. I just wanted to write people like, well, how people are--flawed and sometimes kinda hot mess).
-The Seks: Wes and Lana enjoy sex and their sexuality rather unapologetically. Do I think it's the smuttiest book you'll ever read? No. Not by far. But I don't fade to black LOL...
- Yup. It's still long. They'll always be long lol I don't shut up, so they don't shut up. Approx. 113k words.
- Everyone has the mouth of a sailor, like usual, and mostly cursing 'cause they can, but the language is explicit in other ways sometimes.
I think I've covered everything people are usually interested to know!
August 8, 2013
Teaser Thursday! Wes AND Kai!!!
We have some Wes and Kai friendship action today for Teaser Thursday!
I love guy friendships. I am lucky enough to know two sets of really good guys (one from high school, who I still hang out with, with my best girl friend to this day, and one from college) who have an amazing friendship amongst them. They were all the inspiration for Wes and Kai 's relationship. This isn't even my favorite scene between them (this one is shorter), but I like it. So, anyway, here goes:
Dylan walked over and pulled Lana away from him, and the two of them went off to dance as Beyonce’s "Single Ladies" came on; Wes laughed as the women imitated moves from the music video for each other.
“Whatever you’re thinking, it’s never going to happen,” Kai joked. “Never.”
“So…is this what it’s like?” Wes asked him after a chuckle.
“Well, if you mean watching your girl act silly and laughing and happy and being herself, and realizing that if you lost everything tomorrow, but you woke up next to her the day after, you’d be able to face it all, no matter what else happened…if you mean that…then yes. This is what it’s like, bro.”
I love guy friendships. I am lucky enough to know two sets of really good guys (one from high school, who I still hang out with, with my best girl friend to this day, and one from college) who have an amazing friendship amongst them. They were all the inspiration for Wes and Kai 's relationship. This isn't even my favorite scene between them (this one is shorter), but I like it. So, anyway, here goes:
Dylan walked over and pulled Lana away from him, and the two of them went off to dance as Beyonce’s "Single Ladies" came on; Wes laughed as the women imitated moves from the music video for each other.
“Whatever you’re thinking, it’s never going to happen,” Kai joked. “Never.”
“So…is this what it’s like?” Wes asked him after a chuckle.
“Well, if you mean watching your girl act silly and laughing and happy and being herself, and realizing that if you lost everything tomorrow, but you woke up next to her the day after, you’d be able to face it all, no matter what else happened…if you mean that…then yes. This is what it’s like, bro.”
August 5, 2013
Tuesday Teaser for Recklessly!
"Can you promise me that? Can you promise we won’t change? Can you promise we’re not making a stupid mistake?”
Wes almost laughed as he watched her nervous mannerisms, her impatience with him, her need for reassurance. Two people who could fuck in a public place without reservation were apprehensively negotiating their relationship.
“I love you. That’s my promise.”
Wes almost laughed as he watched her nervous mannerisms, her impatience with him, her need for reassurance. Two people who could fuck in a public place without reservation were apprehensively negotiating their relationship.
“I love you. That’s my promise.”
