Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 263

“I’m constantly scanning the world for something to...

“I’m constantly scanning the world for something to worry about.”

“We’re all better people because Jackson is in our family. I’ve...

“We’re all better people because Jackson is in our family. I’ve seen my other son choose his friends based on how they treated his brother. My daughter asked us if she could invite an entire special needs class to her tenth birthday party. My wife and I have become advocates and started charities. But we’ve all been tested too. Everyone is needy, and when you have a special needs child, it’s hard to give everyone the attention they deserve. I wish I could have given my other two children more parenting. And I wish my wife and I had more time to focus on each other. But sometimes we were too busy with Jackson. It could be like crisis mode all the time. I’d be fighting the school board. My wife would be up until 3 AM, every single night, watching videos of Jackson’s therapy, trying to decide what was working. In many ways, all of our worlds revolved around Jackson. And sometimes we didn’t have much left for each other.”

“My wife and I are divided about whether it was inevitable, or...

“My wife and I are divided about whether it was inevitable, or if something caused it, but we do have video of Jackson at 18 months, coming up to the camera and talking. But soon afterward his language stopped developing, and eventually he lost the language skills he already had. He stopped responding to his name. You could even bang pots and pans behind him, and he wouldn’t respond. But when we tested his hearing, it was fine. People would say: ‘Boys develop later.’ Or ‘Don’t worry, my daughter didn’t begin talking until she was three.” But we knew it was something more. This was twenty years ago, so the doctors didn’t even know what to tell us. The head of pediatrics at Columbia met with us, and said: ‘Let me do some research on autism and I’ll get back to you.’ We started to worry that Jackson might never progress. Around this time, I overheard some acquaintances worrying that their four-year-old son might be gay. It made me so mad. I thought: ‘Give me a fucking break. You know that your child can grow to be happy, independent, and fall in love. I’d trade anything for that knowledge, and you’re freaking out that your son might be gay.’”

“I’m afraid if I don’t choose a path soon,...

“I’m afraid if I don’t choose a path soon, life will choose one for me.”

“I’m going to be an astronaut.”“How do you be an astronaut?”“You...

“I’m going to be an astronaut.”
“How do you be an astronaut?”
“You get in the rocketship, then bang it up to space, then you get to do all sorts of activities—like drive. Then if the ship is crashing, you do stuff to make it not crash.”

“I’m trying to beef up my skills. There’s still too much getting...

“I’m trying to beef up my skills. There’s still too much getting lost between my head and the page. There are a lot of emotions that are very close to each other. I want to be able to show the difference between nervous and tense. Sad and depressed. Thoughtful and wistful.”

“She always has something exciting planned for...

“She always has something exciting planned for us.”

“When I came out of the closet, everything came out of the...

“When I came out of the closet, everything came out of the closet.”

“Costume designer.”“Curator.”“Professional ballet...

“Costume designer.”
“Curator.”
“Professional ballet dancer.”
“Photographer.”
“Designer.”
“Milliner.”
“Retired truck driver.”

“My mother used to make all my clothes. I never wore pants...

“My mother used to make all my clothes. I never wore pants as a child. My mom would make me poodle skirts in all my favorite colors. Then puberty happened, and for a hot second I wanted to fit in, but as soon as I got to college I went back to the vintage princess I was inside.”
“… and I’m wearing this because of her.”