Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 208

“When he picked me up for our first date, he showed up in high...

“When he picked me up for our first date, he showed up in high top tennis shoes with the toes ripped open, no laces, and no socks. He had ripped up army pants with no belt, a mugger ski cap, and three days worth of beard. I thought: ‘I can fix him.’ It’s been 34 years of subversive activity to make him presentable. Every time I do a load of laundry, something ‘accidentally disappears.’”

“We met at a wedding. One of his friends bet him ten bucks that...

“We met at a wedding. One of his friends bet him ten bucks that he couldn’t get a date with me. He was so drunk at the time. When he came to pick me up at my house a few days later, my sister and I were sitting in the living room. And he wasn’t even sure which one I was.”

“My dad goes all over the world and learns about the news. One...

“My dad goes all over the world and learns about the news. One time he met a king. I want to be a reporter too. If I was a reporter right now, I’d probably write a story about if NASA was going to launch a new rocket into space. I’d start by going to the Director of NASA. Then I’d ask him about his rockets. And if any of them were going to space.”

(4/4) “I’m thirty-three. I haven’t been on screen in over a...

(4/4) “I’m thirty-three. I haven’t been on screen in over a year. Right now I’m down to $50 in my bank account and I’ve got to make $1300 in the next three days just to pay the rent. There’s a lot of pressure on me right now. The only reason I’m sitting down is because I needed a break. I just finished pitching a woman about a spa package, and she talked to me for about ten minutes. I thought I was going to make a sale. But then she told me ‘no.’ Honestly, I felt like I was going to start crying. I had to sit down. Right now I feel like I’m an arrow that can’t be pulled back any further, and is about to be released. I feel like I’m heading toward greatness. Honestly, I have no choice but to believe that. The path has been so shitty. The only way I can make sense of the world is to believe it’s leading me somewhere.”

(¾) “So many people in this city will use your dreams...

(¾) “So many people in this city will use your dreams against you. They capitalize on your desire to be significant. I’ve spent so much money trying to be an actor. I’ve worked for free on films that never even got edited. I’ve paid to be in workshops and agent showcases where people pretend to be interested in my work just to collect my $150 entrance fee. Then they don’t even have the courtesy to answer my email when I follow up. I’ve seen so many old geezers cast young women in their films just so they can see their ass or grope them. It’s offensive. This is supposed to be art. How can you take advantage of someone’s hope of meaning something in this world? That’s as low as it gets.”

(2/4) “The hardest part about trying to be an actor isn’t the...

(2/4) “The hardest part about trying to be an actor isn’t the small amount of money I’m making. It’s imagining how much more comfortable I’d be if I had spent the last ten years of my life focusing on something else. Right now I’m selling comedy tickets and spa passes to people on the sidewalk. I’ve been doing this job for years because it allows me to make my own schedule. I tried selling drugs for awhile. At first I rationalized it to myself. I told myself that fried chicken is bad for you, and people sell fried chicken, so I wasn’t all that different from KFC. But then one night I saw a girl overdose at Pacha. She was foaming at the mouth and her whole body went stiff. I hadn’t sold her any drugs, but I realized that I easily could have. So I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’d never sell drugs to my little brother, so I shouldn’t feel OK selling them to other people’s family members.”

“We’re having a baby in January so my wife’s...

“We’re having a baby in January so my wife’s stomach is getting pretty big. It’s a very visual life change. Most of the other life changes we’ve planned for so far have just existed in our minds. When we planned our wedding last year, we could think about the wedding we wanted, but we couldn’t actually see it. This is different. There’s a big change coming. And we can see it.”

“I lived in Cobble Hill for 20 years. I had a rent-stabilized...

“I lived in Cobble Hill for 20 years. I had a rent-stabilized apartment. But I got tired of the city. I got tired of the crowds, and the people bumping into you, and nobody saying ‘Excuse me.’ So I had the idea to move to Atlanta and try to open a café. My friends said: ‘Don’t do it. You’ll regret losing the apartment.’ But I was feeling adventurous. I was tired of New York. I knew I made a mistake the first day I was there. I didn’t have a car. I had to walk a mile to Trader Joe’s. There were no cabs anywhere. No fucking cabs. What the fuck? And the hills! So many hills! And the movie I wanted to see was two counties away. Two counties! I don’t even want to talk about laundry day. I missed being able to get everything I needed on my block. I missed the sidewalks, and the tall buildings, and the half-priced Broadway tickets, and the restaurants. I can take the crowds now. I can handle it. But I lost my apartment! I don’t know where to live. An apartment that size is going to cost me twice as much now. I can only afford a room. I should have listened to my friends. Oh man, I messed up.”

(6/6) “I’m trying to make it on my own. It’s been a tough...

(6/6) “I’m trying to make it on my own. It’s been a tough road. I fell behind at our first apartment and we got evicted. But I went through a job program for women and now I work as a case manager with Coalition for The Homeless. We moved into a two-bedroom in Bedford-Stuyvesant. I love my job, but I’m trying to raise four kids on a single income. We don’t have much extra stuff. We don’t have cable. The kids say they need internet for school but we’d need a computer for that, so we just go to the library. I’d love to hang up nice curtains. Or paint the house. But I don’t want to make our apartment into a home because I’m afraid to get too comfortable. I’ve already come close to missing rent so many times. I feel like I can never relax. But I have the most wonderful children. They never want me to buy them new things. But I’m afraid that I’m damaging their confidence. I can’t do anything nice for them. And I don’t want them to grow up feeling like they don’t deserve nice things. But at least we’re together. And we have a home. And we’re safe. I tell the girls all the time that we should feel lucky. I think they get tired of me saying that. But I honestly feel that we’re so lucky.”

(5/6) “We’d been at the shelter for just a few days when he...

(5/6) “We’d been at the shelter for just a few days when he showed up. He tracked me using the GPS on my phone. The shelter has two sets of sliding doors for security. You walk through the first door, it closes behind you, and the second door opens. He jumped inside just as the first door was closing. The kids started screaming. He pushed me to the ground. While the security was dragging him away, he was screaming that I’d stolen his children. And that everything was my fault. And it made me feel guilty. He always knew how to make me feel guilty.”