R.K. Belford's Blog, page 5

Tough Medicine

I get overly worked up when I defend vaccines. ��Because basically, I think that you deciding not to vaccinate your children is going to result in the end of the human race. ��There will be successive and inevitable waves of disease and every one��of us will die horrible, nasty deaths and it will be all your fault because it was preventable.

Reality check: ��Probably not.

But it’s clear��how divisive the issue has become and how easily we slide into our respective extremes of position.

I find it...

Punching Bag

I grew up as an object of ridicule and scorn to the male members of my family. ��I am still not at a place of perfect understanding for the reasons behind this, and it has taken a lifetime to come to the realization that there is a good possibility that I am not, in spite of what they have led me to believe, worthless.

My brother and I are estranged. ��If you asked him why (if he even admitted there was a problem), he would probably suggest it had something to do with the events surrounding th...

Going to Extremes

I am an addict.

Managing my addictions is not quite as simple as managing my ‘drug of choice.’ ��I can turn anything into an addiction. ��Drugs and alcohol? ��Certainly. ��Been there, done��various kinds of that. ��But I can turn anything into a drug.

It’s not an intentional thing, but I am vulnerable. ��I am blessed with a genetic pre-disposition for both addiction and mania. ��And even when I try to manage the known enemies — when I try to avoid excesses of drugs, alcohol, coffee, sugar — my...

You Keep Using That Word

We asked for this, you know. ��When they changed dictionaries to include ‘figuratively’ as an alternate meaning for literally we were basically asking for trouble. ��Literally, even.

It turns out religious conservatives were right all along: ��It is a slippery slope. ��And they’re leading the charge.

The number of words and phrases that are��being twisted and misused��lately��would be humorous, if it weren’t also insidiously shaping our consciousness. ��Listed below are a few of my personal (un...

What’s Up Pdoc?

It’s difficult for me to speak positively about the psychiatric profession. In spite of my own negative experiences, I see therapists on television who seem wonderful, dynamic and caring. Gabriel Byrne’s Dr. Weston on “In Treatment” was fascinating. Even when he made ethically questionable decisions and recommendations to his patients, there’s a man I’d enjoy talking to. And Vanessa Redgrave on “Black Box”has already demonstrated in one episode that she is able to unflinchingly tackle her pat...

I’m Not As Think As You Sexed I Am

I once wrote my fathera letter. There must have been more of them (and there were certainly emails in later days), but interestingly I only remember this one, due in large partto his response.

In it, I shared an anecdote about a dream I’d had. I only remembered the ending: A man came up behind me as I was going towards my front door in the dark, grabbed me from behind with his arm pressed across my throat, and menacingly whispered “carburetor” in my ear. It was petrifying. I woke up in a cold...

To Dream, Perchance to Sleep

Nighttime is when I live my other lives.

It’s not a time of rest — at least not mentally. I’ve always been a bit mystified by people who wake up fresh and new in the morning. The first time I encountered someone who said they hardly ever dream, I was astonished. I do nothing but dream all night. I wake up exhausted. And that’s when I sleep at all.

Most nights it takes an hour or two to fall asleep. My mind turns over conversations I’ve had during the day. I re-examine every interaction, turning...

Unfinished Business

Since it is apparently a day for not finishing things, it would seem the only proactive solution would be to write a post about not finishing things.

I had the opportunity today watch the first episode of “Black Box,” a new tv show about a neuroscientist with bipolar disorder. As a new show it shows promise, with great actresses (Kelly Reilly, Vanessa Redgrave), a fairly good premise and interesting cases. But the characterization of the lead actress’manic episodes reflected that common cliché...

The Guilty Mother’s Lament

Dearest children of good mothers: One day, your otherwise loving and attentive mother will almost kill you.

I am not speaking of overt neglect or abuse, or even intentional harm. But somewhere in the process of parentingyou, your darling mother will make a poor decision or be distracted for a split second and you will be irreparably harmed.

Or at least that is how you will tell the tale, and in spite of her attempts to play down the course of events, your motherwill secretly and guiltily agree...

The Apartment

After my father’s book sold, he suddenly had money. A lot of money. According to him he was a millionaire, and whileI suspect that this was likely an exaggeration, the book did make it to #10 on MacLean’s Magazine‘s national bestseller list. He spent money like itwas inendless supply. He renteda large office (with a shower!) to work on his next book (a spy novel, which he never finished), and from which to work out various investment deals. He only carried 20s or 50s in his wallet and dished...