K. Morris's Blog, page 623

Limericks

There was a young lady called Rose
Who had an accident while using a hose.
She got very wet
And said with regret,
“I can not master this hose!”

—

There was a young lady called Lin
Who owned a violin.
She played it at night,
Which was much to the delight
Of the fox who raided her bin!

—

There was a young lady called Hester
Who was a bit of a jester.
In the midst of telling a joke
The poor girl did choke,
And they buried her in Chester!

—

There was a young lady called Rose
Who lost all he...

One can not “force” book sales

Checking my Gmail spam folder, I came across a solicitation, from a book promotion service, inviting me to advertise my work on their website. The following paragraph particularly caught my attention:

“The (name of site redacted by me) specialize in making
sure that your book gets seen by readers
as well as media on major platforms to force
sales and with clear visibility”.

I am a simple soul and struggle to comprehend how one can “force” sales. As anyone with a rudimentary grasp of the Eng...

The Titanic may have sunk due to a fire in the ship’s boiler room a new documentary claims

A documentary to be heired later today (Sunday 1 January), on channel 4, claims that the real reason for the sinking of the Titanic stemmed from a fire in the ship’s boiler room, which had been raging since it set sail from Southampton. Had it not been for the fire the documentary claims, what could have been a relatively minor encounter with an iceberg, turned into a major disaster. While the fire was mentioned at the enquiry into the sinking of the Titanic, according to the documentary not...

Happy New Year!

A very happy new year to all my readers. Thank you for following me in 2016 and I wish you all the very best for 2017.

Kevin

There Was A Young Lady Called Rose

There was a young lady called Rose
Who counted her fingers and toes.
To make quite sure,
She counted them once more,
Then for good measure, she added her nose.

Squire and Peasant

newauthoronline

I see a vanished land
Where the squire held command
Over the countryside,
Before the tide
Turned
And paternalism was spurned,
Or merely ebbed away
Ushering in a new day.

To hounds he rode
Or through his estate strode
In search of grouse or pheasant.
With countenance pleasant
Or severe
He ruled his peasants
Far and near.

Sometimes a thinker
And often a drinker
He felt a connection with the whole
Estate, his soul
Was as one
with generations long since gone.
Frequently inartic...

Twenty-Seventeen

The weather is drear
And none save my dog is near.
The new year
Beccons
As seconds
Are here then gone.
The clock’s hands move on
Towards twenty-seventeen.
I have no magic screen
To gaze into the future, but stupidity
And that age-old vice cupidity
Will, I venture to maintain
Continue to reign.

The human race
Has a face
Half devil and part divine.
There is a fine
Line
Between the two.
Looking through
History one finds dreams of utopia turning to hell,
Yet one can not tell
The idealist that he...

There Was A Young Lady Called Gay

There was a young lady called Gay
Who composed limericks throughout the day.
She read them aloud at night,
Which was much to the delight
Of the owl who lived down her way.

Lay

Girls in throw-away bras
Exit cars,
Who’s engines continue to idle
As they sidle
Away,
For they
Have a visit to pay.

No poet’s lay,
Just the worn out music does play.
Then they are away
To the self-same place
Where another flushed face
Rushes to forget
Regret
In lust and sweat.

There Was A Young Lady Called Louise

There was a young lady called Louise
Who sailed the high seas
In a fine old ship,
Where she brandished a whip
The sailors for to tease…!