K. Morris's Blog, page 178

The Skirt

When a young lady wearing a short skirt
Said, “I hear that you’re a terrible flirt!”.
I said, “my dear Grace
You have a beautiful face”,
As my wife she glared at that skirt!

There Once Was a Dog With No Tail

There once was a dog with no tail
Who liked to get drunk on strong ale.
Whilst out in the city
He met with Miss Witty
Who was famous for her big bushy tail!

The Wise

Often I imagine you
Without sock or shoe.
But the wise learn
That fantasies of lust
Soon turn
To dust.

The Relevance of Shakespeare

On Monday evening, I met a friend for a drink in a pub. At some point in our conversation my friend questioned the relevance of Shakespeare to school children. In essence his argument was that it was more important for children to learn to read and write than it was for young people to grapple with the Bard.

I disagreed on the grounds that an appreciation of beauty (much of Shakespear’s language is beautiful) is essential to the good/civilised society. I also contended that society would be th...

There Was a Young Lady of Dunblane

There was a young lady of Dunblane
Who was known by many a name.
She walked the streets at night
With a young lady in white.
But the vicar he knew her name …

Socks

When a young lady climbing the stairs
Said, “please make these socks into pairs”.
I went to the shops
And swapped all those socks
For a box of big juicy pears!

The Rake and the Vicar’s Daughter

There once was a wicked old rake
Who, wishing his great lust to slake
Took the vicar’s daughter
Down to the water,
Where she bludgeoned him with a cake!

A Professional Young Woman

A professional
Young woman.
No confessional
Just dinner
Then a bar
(Again he pays).

Then its goodbye
And the evening sky
To keep him company.
While she
Being a professional
Goes home alone,
For friendship
Complicates a fee.

Tea and Cake

When my friend who is a terrible rake
Invited me round for tea and chocolate cake,
There where lots of young women
And a good deal of sinning.
As for me, I stuck to the cake!

Hocking the Bluestocking

I know a young lady named Hocking
Who is famous for being a bluestocking.
She says she knew Shakespeare
Which is really quite queer,
As she’s just turned 18 has Hocking!