Chris Loehmer Kincaid's Blog, page 40

Springtime in Milwaukee

   The first weekend in April, when the weather should have at least been pretending to be thinking about spring, my daughter and I drove down to see my son near Milwaukee. It was freezing cold out on Saturday, with snow flurries. We woke up to snow on the ground Sunday morning. Argh!

I naturally refused to get out my winter coat, so I had to pile on a couple layers.

Saturday afternoon, we drove into Milwaukee and spent a few hours wandering around Antiques on Pierce. I’m not sure why I didn’t take any pictures inside (other people did). Claiming to be the largest antique mall in Southeast Wisconsin, it encompasses three floors in the old Quality Biscuit Company building.

From there, we drove to the historic third ward and ate dinner at the Lucky Ginger.  

After eating way too much, we wandered along the pier.

And ended up at Milwaukee Public Market. Which would have been cool to check out further, but it was dinner time so was packed with shoppers.

You know me, I’m not happy until I find a historical marker.

But I really was not happy to find that the Bobblehead Museum was closed.

                       

I can still always find something that fascinates me.

I’ll have to go back again when I have more time to wander and when the sun is shining and it’s above freezing.

Our Kids

   The last two Wednesdays, I wrote about my thoughts on two of the social issues in our news – gun control and abortion. Today, I’m going to try to discuss another such topic.

I really want to understand this. I’ve been reading some articles and even listened to a couple of specialists give a talk on it. I think I’m making headway in my understanding, but then I say, "no, I'm not accepting this."

I can only think of one couple that I know of, who, when they were pregnant, did not want to know the sex of the baby. EVERY other couple who is expecting a baby wants to know if they are going to have a boy or a girl. And then they host a reveal party, so everyone else knows.

I never wanted to know the sex of my babies, and if those grown babies of mine were ever to get pregnant, I’ve told them that I don’t want to know then either. I’m just weird that way. I picture being in the birthing room, when the somewhat alien-looking child finally emerges and the doctor announces, “It’s a  - - - “

And though all these couples now disagree with me and want to know, what happens down the road, when this child doesn’t agree with the “sex they were assigned at birth”.

The media is making this such a big deal. Yet one article I read said that 3% of children feel they are transgender or agender or bi-gender or somewhere on the spectrum of something. There are so many terms, terms that didn’t exist ten years ago.

I’m totally fine with a person being gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, etc. Except that I don’t think it’s anybody’s business. I don’t think you should be embarrassed by your sexual orientation or afraid of being ostracized because of it, but why should it matter? If you care for someone and they care for you, I think the world should be happy that you found someone.

But here’s what not everyone realizes - sexual orientation is not the same thing as sexual identity. And that’s where I lose my focus.

I grew up as a tomboy, playing with as many boys’ toys as girls’ toys. I had dolls, but they were usually tomboys too. And I think I raised my kids to play with any toys they could have fun with. I didn’t know which sex they were ahead of time, so there was no painting their rooms pink or blue, or buying all pink clothes or all blue clothes. Plus, I couldn’t afford that, so I had to start out neutral, not knowing if the second kid would be the same sex as the first.

But why, why, oh, why, would anyone think it’s okay to start messing with kids’ hormones because they think they are a different sex than when they were born? And if they really, in their hearts and minds, think they are a different sex, don’t be mean to them and blow them off, but there has to be a way to nurture them without giving them drugs or considering surgery.

If, once they are an adult and have the means to finance these things, then they should go ahead and do it. But little kids? Being taught in our public schools that it's okay to explore their feelings on their sexuality? When they just want to play with toys that make them happy or dress in what they are comfortable wearing? No wonder our kids are losing their minds; we adults are causing it. Well, and the media too.

Let kids be kids. Don’t tell them who they are or who they aren’t. And don’t make up these crazy names they can’t understand or tell them they are on some spectrum. And don’t change the English language by referring to a girl or a boy as a they, because that’s what he or she saw on the internet. Teach them respect. Teach everyone to respect everyone else.  

I just think our children have enough to deal with without being in the center of the news. But as admitted at the beginning, I don’t get it. All I know is that our society keeps getting more and more messed up. 

I never worried about the sexual identity of my kids. I really just wondered if they'd become psychopaths. 
 

Fifth Commandment

   “Thou shalt not kill.” (Exodus 20:13, King James Version)

No, you didn’t miss anything. Last Sunday, I promised that I would give you the details on God’s Ten Commandments, and here I am, starting out with number five. If you read this blog the last two Wednesdays, you may remember that I touched on this commandment then. So it seemed to make sense to start in the middle.

You’d think it would be pretty easy to keep this law. Truly, which of us has killed another human being? Maybe if we were fighting in a war. Or, in America right now, if you were defending yourself or your loved ones from a psychopath on a shooting spree.

But what is the real meaning of this commandment? Is it just that God told us not to kill someone else and that is all there is to it?

 If anyone takes human life, he will be punished. I will punish with death any animal that takes a human life. Human beings were made like God, so whoever murders one of them will be killed by someone else. (Genesis 9:5-6 Good News Translation)

There is much more to it. God gave us the gift of life. Taking another human life is not only about committing murder, but it also includes abortion, euthanasia and suicide. God not only expects that from us, but also that we do no harm to others and we help them and support them in all their physical needs.

 Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good. (Romans 12:20-21, The Message)

What can non-believers say about that? How can anyone, in their right mind, argue that instead of helping our fellow mankind, that we harm them or kill them? Or ignore their pain and suffering when they are injured?

Every one of us breaks every one of the commandments at some time or another, including this one. But we live in a really messed up society if we think it’s okay to purposefully kill, harm, hurt or turn our backs on someone who is in pain. And, yes, we all understand that euthanasia would end the suffering of someone with a terminal illness, but then we are playing God. God tells us why we shouldn’t pretend to be Him in the first commandment, so we’ll get back to that then. (Maybe I should have started with number one.)    

I’m going to give you an assignment each week, something to get you thinking about these commandments, living them. 

This week, if you see or hear of someone in need, help them out. If a stranger on the sidewalk stumbles, catch them to keep them from falling. If you notice someone going without lunch because they don’t have any money, buy lunch for them. If you hear of someone who needs crutches after an injury, and you have an old pair in your basement, offer them.  

Whenever you possibly can, do good to those who need it. (Proverbs 3:27, Good News Translation)

Ever Been to a World's Fair?

   I can’t remember when I last blogged about all the travels I’d taken in the last year. I wrote for a whole month, I think, about the week I spent in Wisconsin Dells in October. Then I revisited some of those sites the first weekend in May, when we went camping. I have thrown out the window any attempts at writing chronologically about my travels.

Yet, I’m going to persevere in boring you with new travels.    

I hate posting pictures of snow when it is so nice outside. Finally!!! But, oh well, it can’t be helped.

Back in February, I took a quick weekend trip back to Wabasha, Minnesota, to visit my friend who lives there. I’ve written about Wabasha enough in the past, so instead here is one stop I made on the way there.

The farming town of Neillsville is known for being the home of Chatty Belle, the world’s largest talking cow. When I pulled into the parking lot where she resides (and does not talk, by the way), I was so taken by the building next door, that I didn’t even get a picture of her.

She had been on display at the 1964 World’s Fair in New York, along with this building.

The 1964 World's Fair Wisconsin Pavilion building is currently home to Central Wisconsin Broadcasting radio studios on the upper floor.

A cheese and gift shop on the main floor (where, yes, I bought some cheese and some other snacks too).

On the lower level was a display of World’s Fair memorabilia. I remember when the World’s Fair was a big deal, but no one hears about it much anymore, even before the pandemic struck. Just part of our changing times, I suppose.

Looking over this picture just now, after nearly four months, I wondered at first why I hadn’t centered this antenna. Then I looked closer and it came back to me.

Yes, that is a plane going by.

 For more information:

    On Chatty Belle – https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2444

    On the Pavilion – 

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/wisconsin-pavilion-worlds-fair-1964

    On the 1964 World’s Fair – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1964_New_York_World%27s_Fair

Our Babies

 Last Wednesday, I shared my opinion on gun violence and gun control. Those of you who shared your thoughts were in alignment with me. You might argue with my ponderings from today.  

I believe, without a doubt, that abortion at any stage of conception is murder. From the time that sperm embeds in that egg, there is a human life form snuggling inside Mom.

And yet, I have a hard time getting behind a ban on all abortions. There’s more to consider than just killing unborn babies. What about those little ones born addicted to the drugs their mother has been using the entire pregnancy? Or the babies abandoned in alleys because their mother just couldn’t cope, thought she could raise the little one on her own and just doesn’t know where to turn when she can’t. What about the babes killed by mothers or fathers because they just wouldn’t stop crying? Those are all sins too.

Adoption isn’t always the perfect answer; kids raised in those families can still run into pain and suffering. No family is perfect. But then, neither is anything in this world. Also, with in-vitro fertilization and other medical advances in fertility, the number of families trying to adopt isn't as high as it used to be.  

In my naive brain, I feel the best answer is to prevent these girls and women from getting pregnant in the first place. No fertilized egg, no pregnancy. Duh.

Effective birth control is pretty readily available to anyone who takes the time and effort to get it and use it. Better yet, and here I am being super naïve – don’t have sex unless you are willing to pay for the consequences. Of course, I get it – what about rape? (Everyone always refers to “rape and incest”, but really? Those cases where incest is not rape? Makes my stomach turn.)

But here’s the real deal as I see it. Abortion is not in the news right now because of babies living or dying or women having the right to do what they want with their bodies. Right now, abortion is in the news because it is one more knife to drive the right and the left farther apart.

Many, if not most, Americans were able to say that abortion was one answer to a difficult question, as long as it was done early enough in the pregnancy. And in some circumstances, it should remain legal, which would make it safer for the mother instead of her seeking illegal, backwoods methods.

Then the folks over on the liberal left decided it was okay to abort babies at 40 weeks gestation, when the baby would be able to live outside the womb, if someone would just love them. But instead, it was okay to leave them to die.

Of course, you all realize that even though these were the cases that grabbed our attention, they really were pretty rare. I don’t have statistics, but I am sure that the vast majority of abortions taking place in this country are ones where the baby is way less than twenty weeks gestation and unlikely to live outside the womb.

Anyway, after the left-wingers pushed that whole agenda and led us to believe that all these women would agree to abortions far into their pregnancy, the conservatives on the right decided to push back and limit abortions in any way they could.

Or maybe it all started when our previous president made sure there was a “moral majority” on the Supreme Court.

Whichever end started it, in my opinion, the whole abortion issue, isn’t about babies living and dying; it’s about the Republicans and the Democrats moving farther apart on one more issue. No matter what your opinion is, I hope you believe that they need to start moving closer together for anything good to come out of this country.  

(And please don’t think that I am making light of the issue. Abortion is a serious subject; it still is murder. But I’m afraid that the people running our country see it as just another item on their agenda.) 

The Greatest Commandments

    “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”                                                 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:36-40, New King James Version)

We all know about the craziness that is going on in this world. I’ve written about those things quite a bit over the last few months, so I’m not going to repeat them.  

Just stop and think about one thing that you’ve read about in the news or that is even happening to you in your personal life. Next study the Bible verses above. Would the situation you are thinking about be different if the people involved lived by the commandments which Jesus taught his disciples? Or if they at least tried to keep the ten commandments that God gave to the Israelites in the Old Testament?

If you know your commandments at all, you realize that those original ten do boil down to the two which Jesus taught. By keeping the first three commandments we show our love towards God, while the remaining ones show our love towards others.

   Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 5:19, New King James Version)

But maybe I should back up. How well do you know the ten commandments? A better question is how do they apply to our lives today?

Hold on to those questions. I don’t have time to answer them right now, but follow along over the next weeks as I plan on sharing details of each of the commandments. During that time, I hope you think about why these laws from God apply to all of us, even the nonbelievers. I hope you come to realize that you should take these rules to heart, whether you are a Christian or not. And why we shouldn’t be rushing to take them out of our courthouses and other public spaces.

God knew what He was doing when He wrote those decrees in stone.

Hope you come back to this blog next Sunday. In the meantime, have a joy-filled week. Chris 

Flowers in Spring

     Wednesday of this week was another beautiful day in North Central Wisconsin. And a great day to get out of the house, drag my sister out of her house and go visit a garden. 

A few years ago, I heard of the Monk Botanical Gardens on the north side of Wausau, Wisconsin and have wanted to tour it since then. The Gardens sit on 30-acres and are named after the late Robert W. Monk, who donated much of the land with the intent of the development of a public garden.

It was such a beautiful place.

And even though it is still early in the season, many flowers were blooming.

I wish I knew the names of all of them, or that at least they were all labeled for those of us who are botanically challenged.

If you live anywhere in the area, it is worth the visit – it’s easy to find, less than a mile east of Fleet Farm on Campus Drive.

And maybe you will know all the names of the flowers and other plants.
Check out their website - https://monkgardens.org/ 

Or their Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/MonkBotanicalGardens

 

Start by stopping the hate

    In the spring of 1999, I spent nearly all of my free time with my sister Pat who was dying from cancer. One of the few things which shook me from that vigil was the news of the mass shooting in April at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. At the time, it was the worst school shooting in US history. Thirteen people died and 20 were wounded when two teenagers descended on the school, intent on killing as many people as possible.

For me, it wasn’t just the number of fatalities, the horror of it all, but the location. I had lived just south of Denver in the mid-1980s. I had driven through Littleton, nearly passed the school, every night when I was going to Medical Assistant school in 1986. You can watch things like that on the news, but sometimes, it doesn’t seem real unless you know someone or have been there.

The closest I’ve ever been to Uvalde, Texas, is when Dad was working at the paper mill in Orange, Texas, when I was in kindergarten. Most of those kids killed last week were only twice the age I was at that time. 

I cannot imagine what those parents, grandparents, friends, and family are going through. Those poor kids who lived through it and will keep living it for the rest of their lives.

Every time there is a shooting like this, whether at a school, a church, or a grocery store, the debate on gun control comes up. So many people think that is the answer – take away our guns.

On the other end of the spectrum are those who rationalize that guns don’t kill people; people kill people. Which is true. But certain types of firearms were designed to kill the most targets in the shortest amount of time, and why are those available for sale? The real reality is that the bad guys will always get the guns they want, and the law-abiding citizens may end up without the most basic pistol to protect themselves.

But we still can’t blame it on guns or lax gun control laws. There have been mass killings with bombs, moving vehicles, you name it. Remember what planes did one September morning twenty-some years ago?

You cannot take away every type of weapon imaginable. I have an active imagination – there is an object right now within your reach as you’re reading this which could be used to kill someone. Ever watch MacGyver?

So, what can we do to stop these shootings, these deaths? How about start by stopping the hate. Learn to love one another, learn to accept one another. Learn to keep your eyes open for those who are struggling and reach out a helping hand. Put others first. Teach your children that.

I could do a lot of preaching here, but I try to avoid it. I sometimes think I am such a Pollyanna (many of you probably don’t know who that is, so I propose that it’s mandatory in our schools that every student watches the movie once a year. This article seems to support my suggestion - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201906/the-real-story-pollyanna-and-her-secret-happiness-game.).

Okay, back to reality. I think that our society no longer teaches compassion or empathy. Quite the opposite. Every day, we are bombarded with images glorifying death and killing, whether via TV, the movies, or video games. Our kids are being raised without even realizing that when someone is killed, they are dead. They aren’t getting back up again. There is no value to human life. We’re teaching our kids that it is all just a game. 

Also, I totally understand how wrong bullying is. I was bullied as a kid. I know a lot of people who were. Why did most of us get through it and move on, while others got stuck in that place of anger and hurt? I always said to myself, “I’m not letting that jerk win by showing them that they got to me.” But not everyone can do that, or sadly, sometimes those bullies don’t quit until they have broken you.

Speaking of being broken, how are all our broken families affecting our kids? Even the best parents in the world, if they aren’t the best partner to their spouse, can split the family up. And as much as we try, sometimes our kids just can’t rally after that kind of loss.

And the career which has the most shortages is adolescent mental health. These kids have no professionals to turn to or to be sent to. If these kids don’t have parents, teachers, or other caring adults who stop what they’re doing and take them under their wings, they will quickly slide down that slippery slope.

Oh, my goodness, our kids have so much going against them. No wonder there are all these teenagers finding guns and other weapons of mass destruction, snapping, and shooting up our schools.

I have no answers, but I think I at least have a general idea of the real problem. And guess what? Our elected officials aren’t going to do a thing to change any of this. 

The Wars We Fight

 In the spring, when the kings normally went out to war (2 Samuel 11:1a, New Century Version)

The Old Testament is filled with war and death. There are instances where more than ten thousand men were killed in one battle. With the Earth’s population so much smaller than it is today, I can’t comprehend so many men going out to war to be slaughtered. Whether they were kings or not, or if they went off to war in the spring or not.

There is a time to love and a time to hate. There is a time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:8, New Century Version)

I wish I could compare the wars of the Bible with the wars we fight today. But I don’t think a person can. Or should. God had His reasons during Biblical times for all the battles which were fought. I wonder sometimes if now, however, He is looking down on us, shaking His head, thinking that these are not wars He meant for us to fight.

Tomorrow is Memorial Day, a time to remember those who gave their lives defending this country. Please remember their sacrifice and remember what’s worth fighting for, recognize who our real enemies are and who we just need to try to understand.

L ORD, God, be with us in times of trouble. Help us to always remember that You have got things under control. Amen.  

Nicknames

     Yesterday, my mom would have turned 95 years old. Five years ago, in February, however, she passed away; it sure doesn’t seem that long ago.

I’ve been thinking about sharing this story for several years, but – I don’t know. It’s a dumb story but it sure is hard to write about.

As you may know, my sister Pat and I were close friends. Over the years, we came up with lists of nicknames for each other. Snoopy for her, Woodstock for me. Which morphed into Big Nose or Beagle Nose and Little Bird. When she went off to college, they called her Duck. For a long time, she called me Knutt, because I was a goofy kid and thrived on making her laugh.

Mom also had nicknames for us. Because Pat was round and chubby, Mom would call her “Fatty Patty”. And because I was scrawny, she sometimes referred to me as “Teeny Tiny”. No clue where we got our low self-esteem from.

But actually, from day one, even though my birth certificate reads “Christine”, Mom always called me “Tina”. And everyone else back in the day called me that too.

I hated it. Even now I cringe just thinking about it.

I went to small, local schools until the fifth grade, and up until then, because everyone knew us, my teachers and my classmates called me Tina. When I entered fifth grade in the big, brick school in town, I was a newbie to the teachers and most of the kids. It was easy to ask for them to shorten my given name of Christine to Chris.

It took years for that name to stick, and occasionally even now, someone from the old days will still call me Tina.

Mom hung onto that nickname like it was a chunk of solid gold. We had a blow-up over it one time, me demanding she call me Chris and ranting to her that if she wanted to call me Tina so badly why didn’t she just name me that legally.

She wrote me a long letter (which I still have somewhere), telling me that when I came home from the hospital and was just so tiny and precious, her Teeny Tiny, she immediately adopted the alternate name. But that she would always love me with all her heart, no matter what name I went by.

Probably most kids have been tormented at one time or another by their nicknames (and by their mothers). Even my daughter went through a phase where she hated her name (more like a phase where she hated everything, but that’s the joy of being a girl).

The saying is not true that sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. But how I ever let a simple name like Tina bother me so much, I do not know.

I do know, however, that I do not want you all to start calling me that! I just felt it was time to get this off of my chest. 

Talk about being tormented, notice the ashtray in the corner.