Lara Schiffbauer's Blog, page 26

Funny Friday Photos and Day 2 of the Aberration Blog Hop

If you're looking for Day 2 of (and my entry for) Lisa Regan's Aberration Blog Hop, where I list my top five aberrant characters, click here. Otherwise, continue on to Funny Friday Photos below!


Yes, it's Friday again! A weekend and a Monday and then I start summer vacation. This is a very, very good thing. I definitely can use some laughs, so it was quite therapeutic to put together funny photos this week.
You will notice I discontinued with Google+ comments, and went back to plain old blogger comments. The increase in visibility on Google+ was impressive, but a lot of people couldn't comment anymore. I certainly don't want that, so I changed back. 
Last week's winner for funniest photo is:

When I switched back to Blogger comments, I lost several comments, but I believe the transporter accident had the most votes. In any case, it is cute.
Here's some new photos for you!

I never knew cats were able to make corners.

There is something sinister about that duck. Or maybe it's just a little foul. (hee, hee)

Not Pokeball, Pokebird!

Ain't that the truth!

I felt the same way.

I spy with my little eye...
And for the pun of the week - 


Have a very happy weekend. My favorite is the hugging. My second is the cute angle.What's your favorite?

Aberration Blog Hop

In celebration of the release of her second novel, Aberration, Lisa Reganis hosting The Aberration Blog Hop:  Finding the Most Aberrant Characters.  The Hop runs June 6th and 7th so it’s not too late to sign up!

In Aberration, FBI profiler, Kassidy Bishop is on the hunt for serial killer who is an aberration—a freak—even among serial killers.  For this blog hop, list your top 5 choices for the most aberrant (freakish or abnormal) characters in fiction, TV and movies!
Before we get started, let’s take a look at the definition of aberration:ab·er·ra·tionDefinition of ABERRATION1 : the fact or an instance of deviating or being aberrant especially from a moral standard or normal state2 : unsoundness or disorder of the mind3 : an aberrant individual— ab·er·ra·tion·al  adjectiveFrom the Merriam Webster Online Dictionary
All participants will be entered to win prizes (Amazon gift cards; signed copies of Aberration in paperback and e-book versions of the book). 
Lara's List of Top Five Aberrant Characters (in no particular order)

1. Hannibal Lector - He's a messed up dude. He's even more messed up in the books than he is in the movies. And, because of his training as a psychiatrist, he can mess up other people, and enjoys doing so.

2. Bad Guy from the Last Oracle by James Rollins. It's been a while since I've read the story, and my book is in storage, so I can't tell you the bad guy's name. However, he made my skin crawl. He was bizarre, and if I remember correctly, in love/having a relationship with his sister. Ick.

3. The bad guy in the movie Seven. That movie is the only one that actually made me queasy.

4. The mother of the girl with Down's Syndrome in Dean Koontz's novel The Darkest Evening of the Year. She was so sick and twisted that I had to stop reading the book. (She did mean things to the poor girl. I couldn't read about it.)

5. The bad guy in the movie The Cell. By getting to go into his mind, it's tragic to see just how messed up he is. And even more disturbing is seeing how he got to that point, from being abused as a child. I worked on the Criminal Justice Unit of the State Hospital when I saw the movie and it made me sob at the end, because he was so similar to one of the patients I worked with. It was awful.

There's my entry! I hope you run over to Lisa's blog and sign up so we can all see who your top five aberrant characters are! And I urge you to check out Lisa's book when it comes out, too!

Do you recognize any of my characters?Does any character come to your mind as most aberrant?

The Blogger Book Fair Is Coming!

Check in to the Blogger Book Fair, and book your trip to far away places!July 22-26, 2013 [image error] Authors and Book Bloggers, Sign ups for the July 2013 Blogger Book Fair will close on June 15 at midnight central time, so get your registrations in to participate!
As of 5/31/2013, we have:Authors: 89 Books: 233 Bloggers: 14 If you haven't yet registered, you can find all of the information on the Blogger Book Fair page.
Check out the Code of ConductFill out either the Author Sign Up form or the Blogger Sign Up form (Deadline June 15)Kayla will match everyone with hosts and send out this information to you after sign-ups closeCheck out the events--all authors are eligible to participate in the events, and if you have an event you'd like to host, just fill out the simple Event Sign Up Form--all of this information can be found on the Events! page (Deadline July 8).If you're interested in hosting a giveaway to drive traffic to your site, sign up via the Giveaway Sign Up form (Deadline July 15).And if your book will be FREE or $0.99 for the duration of the Fair, you can sign up on the Free and $.99 Book Sign Up Forms (Deadline July 15).Events:as of 5/31/2013Art Fiction Gala hosted by Lucie SmokerDoes your fiction promote the visual arts--through featuring an artist, painting, sculpture, performance art, etc? Then, consider entering Lucie's Art Fiction Gala. The Art Fiction Gala is a virtual celebration of fiction that highlights the visual arts. Dress up in your finest, pick up some friends--a bottle of wine--and sample mind-blowing fiction that crosses the line between literary and visual art. Plus a gallery of art featuring reading. More information & entry instructions

Three Wishes hosted by Kirstin PulioffIntroduce your characters to the world. Kirstin Pulioff invites you to ask your main character, "If you found a magic genie lamp, what would be your three choices?" More information & entry instructions

Flash Fiction Challenge II hosted by Thomas WinshipGet ready to exercise your flash fiction muscles. For the Flash Fiction Challenge II, Thomas Winship will provide an opening line. From there, entrants will craft a flash fiction piece of approx 500 words. Entries will be displayed on Thomas' blog Vaempires during the BBF, spread out evenly across the five days, in order of receipt. More information & entry instructions

Snapshot Synopsis Contest hosted by Fel at The Peasants RevoltChallenge: chisel your synopsis down to 50 words or less. Voting will be open throughout the fair for visitors to vote on their favorite Snapshot Synopsis. More information & entry instructions

Reader's Choice Awards hosted by Sherri at Shut Up & ReadAll books registered for the Blogger Book Fair are automatically entered into the running for the Reader's Choice Awards. Voting will be open from July 22 to July 25. More information

Indie Soap Box Files hosted by Shah WhartonTake a turn on the Soap Box. Shah invites speculative fiction writers to write a guest post about being an indie (or hybrid) writer. More information & entry instructions Restrictions: Speculative fiction writers only
Monster Menagerie hosted by Noree at Trip the EclipseWhat's your favorite monster or supernatural creature? Feature your creature in a flash fiction piece (500-800) words to be featured on Trip the Eclipse. Visitors will vote on their favorite piece. More information & entry instructions
Ways to Help: Donate to the Blogger Book Fair via the BBF Donation Fund. To help get the word out about BBF, we would like to place ads on Facebook, Goodreads and other places, but to do, so we need a little help. We'd also like to have some BBF sponsored giveaways, so money donated would also go toward prizes. NO MONEY WILL BE KEPT BY ANY ORGANIZER OR PARTICIPANT. Spread the word! Share the Fair on your social media accounts and show off the Blogger Book Fair logo in your blog's sidebar.





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Funny Friday Photos

Happy Friday to one and all! I'd love to tell you about all the fabulous and interesting things going on in my life, but I'd be lying! The truth is, I'm trying to hang on until the end of the school year with my mind and dignity intact! 
For the writers who look at Funny Friday Photos, do you find it hard to write a first draft without censoring yourself? I keep trying, but I'm scared to death I'm going to write really, really badly, not catch it when I edit, and the writing will stink. On the other side, I'm not really interested in writing beautiful prose right now, and need to get the second Adven Realm book done.
Dare I take the risk and just write whatever pops into mind, no matter how bad it is, and then trust in myself that I'll be able to fix it up later? The thought makes me have an anxiety response, but it also gives me a thrill to go against my anal retentiveness.
Yes, I have just given you another example of my dual nature. I am constantly at war with myself about something!
Last week's winner for funniest photo is:


 Here are this weeks photos!

I generally avoid the word "fart" but this picture was too funny to leave out.





I actually thought of the Spongebob where Squidward and Spongebob are merged.






The way I feel when I go to get my second cup of coffee and my husband finished off the whole pot.
It happens often. :(

Maybe not so funny, but it sure is cute!
And a motivational pun to round out the mix!

I hope you all have a great weekend! My favorite has to be the fart dog. His face is hilarious. 
What's your favorite?

Funny Friday Photos

Happy Friday and Memorial Day Weekend! I love Memorial Day Weekend. Visiting and decorating the graves of my loved ones is like Christmas time for the dearly departed. I get to show my continued love and buy presents of pretty wreaths to fancy up their final homes. Visiting the graves of my Italian immigrant uncles and aunts connects me to my family history, too. It's kind of awe-inspiring to imagine their lives and remember the stories handed down to me by my grandmother.
Today I am the featured author on Laurie's Paranormal Thoughts and Reviews. I am so excited! If you want to know what's on my bucket list, learn more weird things about me (I'm a never ending source of weird) or want to read an excerpt of Finding Meara, come on over and visit Laurie's blog.
All right! Last week's winner for funniest photo is:


And here are this week's photos!




I have no clue why this cracks me up so much.















And here is the pun for the week. My son came up with the joke and drew it, all by himself (he's 7). I couldn't resist sharing it with you. I, of course, think he's super-clever. Don't feel you have to be impressed, though. :)
Those are beds, btw. Can you see the mattresses?

My vote for funniest this week (besides my son's) is the dog with the ball. It's so funny how amazed they are that you didn't throw it.
Which is your favorite photo?Do you do anything for Memorial Day?

Funny Friday Photos

Aaaand, it's Friday again. I hope everyone had a happy week!
Reading for Fun's giveaway got over yesterday, and in honor of all those wonderful folks who wanted to read my story enough to like my Facebook page, I'm going to give away a couple more e-books. If you haven't gotten Finding Meara yet, and would like a chance to win it, "Like" my author page by Saturday, May 18th before I draw some lucky winners! I'll post the winners on my author page on Sunday.
Other exciting news is that I'm slated to be featured on Laurie's Paranormal Thoughts & Reviews May 24th. Laurie has some wonderful books featured everyday, and was so professional to work with. If you're in need of suggestions for your "to be read" list, give her blog a visit.
And so, here we are with last week's favorite-ist photo:



And here are the new ones!

Little squids. I can't resist.

I just noticed its feet sticking out the bottom of the lampshade.

My offering for the weekly pun.

My kind of cat. :)

Identity issues.

So do we all. 
I hope you all have a very happy weekend, with lots of rest and relaxation occurring. I think my favorite is the turtle. I hear the song "I believe I can fly..." when I look at the picture and it makes me smile.


What's your favorite this week?

Funny Friday Photos

Happy Friday to one and all! I am feeling strangely reticent tonight. I can't really think of anything to talk about. So, I guess I'll just move on to the photos!
Last week's winner is:


And here are the new photos!





















I really like extra-crunchy tourist. Which is your favorite?

Street Teams, Book Bloggers and Promotion- Oh My!

Pretty much anyone in the writing industry will tell you that, regardless if you self-publish or traditionally publish, promoting and marketing your own book is a given. We all know what doesn't work. An example would be tweeting a gazillion times that your book is out and priced to sell. Depending on who you read, ads may or may not lead to book sales. Questions have been raised in the last several months about the efficacy of blog tours. Photo from So, what's a writer to do? This is where it all becomes even more nebulous. I've read a lot that you need to develop relationships with everyone and their dog. (It's a good thing cats are rather stand-offish, or you'd be required to form a relationship with them, too.) Giveaways are showing up in posts on marketing as being a great way to obtain book sales. Common knowledge is that you need about forty reviews on Amazon for them to really notice you, so begging everyone you know for reviews is done frequently. Street teams are gaining popularity in writing circles (although it might just be that I've finally heard about them.) Colleen Hoover credits book bloggers for her phenomenal success. It's enough to make a writer's head swim.
As I am wading into this sea of confusion, I thought I'd share what I've learned so far. I looked into street teams, have decided to focus some marketing time on book bloggers, and will discuss giveaways because I believe it is an excellent way to encourage visibility. Because with bazillions of books being released each month, visibility is the name of the marketing game.
Street teams were pioneered by indie musicians. Basically, a band would get their fans to spread word of mouth about them by putting up posters, bringing friends to the concerts, calling the radio stations requesting their music. that type of thing. In exchange, the band usually would give away free merchandise -   CD's, t-shirts, bumper stickers, etc... Often the street teams would be teenage fans. For writers, street teams appear to be formed by people saying "Want to be on my street team?" The street team members then spread the word of the author's books (often electronically) and are then given merchandise or the chance to win the author's merchandise.
Here is my take on street teams for authors. If you have a large number of people who are following you already and feel kindly toward you, you are going to have a successful street team. Having people talk up your book is wonderful marketing, and the more people see your book the more likely they are to buy it. However, if you can't seem to drum up that initial platform, it's going to be a tough sell to get people to support you, period. Some people are really great with drawing people to them, others - not so much. It's not that the "not so much" people are nasty or unfriendly, but the big draw just doesn't happen, or happens slowly. Like pouring cold molasses.
So, I have decided street teams are not for me. Or maybe I should say, organizing a formal street team is not for me. I have some very kind friends who have been incredibly supportive (Suzi Retzlaff, Melanie Martila, Claudine Jaboro, Kelley Lynn, Genee Bolton and Denise Wilson-Falvo - I am forever in your debt. And if I missed someone, it's because it's late and I'm tired, not because I don't appreciate you!
The last week or so, I've been doing a lot of investigating into book bloggers. The process to get your book reviewed by a book blogger is very similar to getting an agent. You have to do research, to find out who is taking submissions, who isn't, and to make sure they review/like your genre. Then, you need to find out their submission guidelines, and adhere to them. And then you wait to see if they want to review your book or not.
Until I found out about Author EMS, it was all pretty overwhelming. So, let me share Author EMS's magic. They are a website full of "business resources for authors" and they have a searchable database of hundreds (at least) of book bloggers. It costs $10 for a 30 day subscription to the searchable database, but I will tell you it was so worth the money. I have a list of at least 20 book bloggers I'll be sending Finding Meara to, and it only took me an afternoon to get it organized. 
Finally, I do believe giveaways are an excellent method of gaining word of mouth. I don't really understand why people get all freaked out at the thought of giving their books away. Even if you give the book to 100 people, if they like the story, they'll tell people and if each person tells just ten other people, your book would be recommended to 1,000 people you would have no other way of reaching. If you sell your book for $3.00, you would lose $300 dollars, but have the potential to make $2,700 dollars.
One caveat to giveaways - you have to get into a bigger than your personal reach circle to have it be very effective. I joined in Reading for Fun's 1200 Likes Giveaway extravaganza and netted 35 Facebook followers overnight. I couldn't do that on my own, for sure. By the way, there are many different types of books on the giveaway list, including YA and NA, so you might want to check the giveaway out. The rafflecopter is open until May 15th, I believe.
That's enough marketing talk for today. I'll turn the microphone over, and let you give your two cents, if you're so inclined.
If you've published a book, what marketing have you found effective. If you haven't published yet, but plan to, which marketing strategy appeals to you? If you're a reader, what strategy would you like an author to use to get their book into your hands?

Funny Friday Photos

Happy Friday to one and all!
Last night, I realized I totally forgot to write the post on Street Teams and promotion for Tuesday! I guess that's what happens when you stop blogging twice a week for several months. However, I am going to write the post this weekend, so please be on the look out for it next week.
I signed up for Khara House's Submit-O-Rama, as you can see by the button in the sidebar. My goal is to submit Finding Meara to three book bloggers a week throughout the week of May. I met Khara through the My Name Is Not Bob Platform Building Challenge, and she is one of the nicest, most energetic and funny people I know. Go check out her blog, Our Lost Jungle, if you have a chance. She's fun to friend on Facebook, too. Oh, and if you want, feel free to join in on the Submit-O-Rama if you are needing some friendly writer support while going through the submission process.
This Saturday I'll be guest posting on Karen S. Elliott's blog about How I Got My Writing Groove Back. It's always fun to visit other people, and Karen is such a gracious host. I hope you'll stop over for a visit.
Okay, I'm putting on my big girl panties now, because I'm not really good at asking for help, but I was wondering if anyone might want to feature me on their blog? I could do a guest post, or anything you wanted, really. If you wouldn't mind having me visit, you can e-mail me at schiffbauerl(at)gmail(dot)com. Of course, if you want to just comment in the comments section, that would work, too, and I'll get in touch with you. Whew, I'm glad that's over. Maybe that can count for one of my submissions for this week. I just submitted myself to all of you!
Last week's funniest photo was:


Here are this weeks!
I think I'm getting cranky, because this is how I feel much of the time, anymore.

Hee, hee. But, it almost looks like it's going to barf, really.

I also identify with this photo waaay too much.

I still love that Looney Tunes cartoon.


No matter how many times I see them, the droid jokes never stop cracking me up.
And an extra, just 'cause it's funny. :)My favorite is Dogue. I don't know why. It just makes me laugh.

Do you have a favorite?

Funny Friday Photos

Hello and Happy Friday! This week has been filled with work, sick little ones, and trying to get a handle on what a self-publisher does for promotion. The current buzz is street teams, book bloggers and reviewers, for those of you who may be wondering. Should I do a post next Tuesday on what I've learned? Anyone interested? 
Tonight I was looking for Amazon reviewers to request a review of Finding Meara, and stumbled upon a thread on the forum about a high ranking Amazon reviewer who is selling his reviews on his personal website. I didn't search to find the website to see if it was true, but I think someone else did verify the threads poster's claim. Between that, and the similarities between agents in traditional publishing and book bloggers in self-publishing--well, it's all kind of wearying. Since I'm not very good at requesting help and submitting my work to quality-measurers, I'm going to have to suck it up big time, or promotion isn't going to go well at all. I won't be buying any reviews, though. Promise!
On a positive note, Amazon has now promoted Finding Meara twice for me. I don't know how on the earth they are choosing my book to put in their "if you like Fantasy, you might like this..." e-mails. It's not like my sales are skyrocketing or I'm getting a zillion reviews. I'm glad they are though, because it's the only thing close to "real" marketing I've got going for me.
Let's see... Last week's funniest photo was:


And here are this week's photos!

So, how bad is it that these birds remind me of my great-aunt and grandmother?







My eldest gets the same expression when someone scratches his back.


I am obsessive about checking and double-checking before I send an e-mail for this very reason.



There you have it! I really can't decide. I have quite a tie going on between Carl, and the Bear Rug Cat. Don't make me choose!


Did you have a clear favorite, or did you have a tie this week?