Jeff Noble's Blog, page 30

God’s steadfast love

“His steadfast love endures forever.”

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Creds to LB at A Step in the Journey

A quick search in the English Standard Version (using Mac Bible Study) returns 45 results for “steadfast love endures forever, all in the Old Testament. When you broaden the search for “love forever” or other combinations, you realize quickly that God’s love does not fade. Period.

We should meditate (and bank on) the reality that God’s love is steadfast. It is:

Unchanging – regardless of whipping currents or blowing winds
Solid in the fiercest circumstances
Stable in uncertain, quivering times.

God’s great love is there.

Present. Offered. Available. Lavished. Wonderful. It means that God’s love is not conditional based on our performance. This is the gospel in its essence.

God is love (1 John 4.8, 16). His love is fully displayed in Jesus on the cross. The cross is also where God also fully displayed His wrath as He poured out His judgement for our sins upon Jesus. The only condition to experiencing God’s love is whether one steps into relationship with God through faith in Jesus. There is no other way.

Love and wrath concentrated in one focal point – in Jesus. Where two beams of wood intersected. Where one beam penetrated the earth. At those focal points, the Father declared, “My steadfast love endures forever.”

The steadfast love of God means that we can rest secure in our relationship with God:

even when we ourselves are not steadfast
even when our circumstances are unstable
even when our minds race with anxiety and fear
even when our health falters
even when our relationships are roller coasters

“[God] delights in steadfast love.” (Micah 7:18)

Questions:

What conditions are present when you think God loves you most?
What conditions are present when you’re tempted to think God loves you less?
What synonyms can you come up with for “steadfast?” How does thinking of other words (like unchanging, solid, stable above) help you process the steadfast love of God?
How can you demonstrate to others today that you believe and enjoy God’s steadfast love in your life?

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Reflections on Good Friday, Easter and the Virginia Tech shooting

Yesterday was April 14 – Good Friday. Tomorrow is Easter!

[image error]In our culture, April 15 is always awful, simply because it’s Tax Day. However, when the church calendar falls like it does today, this “in-between” day can be a day of sober yet joyful reflection. I’d encourage you to read Erin Petersen’s entry about this day in our church’s Holy Week devotional series.

Because I live in Blacksburg, Virginia and Easter falls on April 16, it has community significance. April 16, 2017 marks the 10th anniversary of the Virginia Tech shooting.

The tragic day remains the deadliest shooting on a college campus. I wasn’t here when it happened; we moved to Blacksburg in 2009. The community and campus, however, have a depth and brotherhood about them as a result of the event that distinguish them from others.

I have mixed emotions about how our culture remembers and marks events such as these. Because I’m a follower of Jesus, I know that only He can heal hearts, comfort grief and assure our future. In times of memorial, it is indeed a sad moment to witness people who grieve deeply without hope or understanding of life’s significance. Those who do not have a relationship with God through faith in Jesus truly bear the brunt of evil and sin’s brokenness. They are not meant to do so. Jesus has done that for us, and He promises to:

“…wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

I’m praying for the VT community and the friends and families that remain deeply impacted by the events of 10 years ago. There are still empty chairs around dinner tables at Easter as a result of this horrific event. There are empty hearts, and even as the VT community proclaims its heart cry of “We will prevail,” it knows deep down that unity cannot replace the loss of loved ones. These empty chairs remain so in this lifetime.

One thing that we look forward to on this “in-between” day in Holy Week – tomorrow we will celebrate an empty tomb. Easter announces that an empty tomb guarantees that for all those who trust in Jesus Christ, who call out to Him in faith for their salvation, empty chairs are conquered by an empty tomb. Death has been defeated, and there is hope for the future.

I love how Jamie Sanchez put it in a Facebook post this week:

Good Friday. A day intended for evil by so many, was made Good by our gracious Father.

In addition to my contemplation of gratefulness for Jesus’ sacrificial love this Easter weekend, I’m also left recalling how many times God has turned something meant for evil into something used for His own (and my) good. I’ve seen this happen in my own life and in the lives of many friends time and time again. Where man may seek to destroy, God gives life. There is not one painful situation that God can not turn into good.

So, this Good Friday, as you reflect on the overarching story we celebrate this weekend, think too of how God is regularly transforming pain into peace, lies into truth, death into life.

“You shall see, and your heart shall rejoice; your bones shall flourish like the grass; and the hand of the LORD shall be known to his servants, and he shall show his indignation against his enemies.” (Isaiah 66:14)

She echoes Joseph in Genesis, when before the same brothers that had sold him into slavery, offered this Romans 8:28 insight in Genesis:

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20 NIV)

I’ll wrap up with a song that has been echoing in my head these past two days – Same Power. The refrain is a raised, defiant fist to the brokenness of this world that we encounter – whether through murder or extortion, lies or disease, tornadoes or homelessness. Every person has access by faith to a world-creating, resurrection-enabling power in Jesus Christ that can steer you home and sustain you in these in-between moments.

I’d encourage everyone to find a local church tomorrow to attend, to worship, to be reminded and renewed that Jesus is alive. He loves. He heals. He offers hope in grief and direction in listlessness. If you’re in Blacksburg, there are a lot of great churches. I attend (and preach) at Northstar Church, and we’d love to have you there if you don’t have another church connection.

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Thoughts on determining God’s will

Last Sunday at our church, I preached a message entitled Weeping Over God’s Will from Acts 21:1-16. The context of the message was the apostle Paul’s gritty determination to pursue God’s will in his life, regardless of the fact that he knew it would lead him to persecution and arrest. Along the way, he was warned and had several people prophesy that indeed, he was walking into a hornet’s nest of hardship. Well-meaining Christians earnestly sought to dissuade him from continuing, which led him to cry out:

“What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be imprisoned but even to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” (v13)

Here are some thoughts on how to know God’s will from the perspective of how NOT to determine God’s will and then how to know God’s will. I’ve also included links to the full sermon as well as the excerpt that covers the points below:

[image error] How NOT to determine God’s will:

Assume that God wants you to be comfortable and happy.
Believe that a larger paycheck, bigger opportunity is from God.
Rationalize.
Rely only on pros and cons.
Rely only on open/closed doors.
Claim to know God’s will for someone else.
Assume that more “fruitfulness” is the path.

How TO determine God’s will:

Cultivate a daily relationship with Him that includes: prayer, scripture, community, joy.
Love people with all your heart.
Understand that God wants you holy before He wants you happy.
Seek wise counsel.
Accept that God’s will may not be what you want, but it will be what you wonder at later.

You can listen to the entire sermon here, but I have also edited the audio for the final part of the message so that you can listen to my elaboration on the points below:

http://www.journeyguy.com/images/2017/03/Gods-Will.mp3

 

 

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5 reasons to invite someone to church

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Creds: Center Newline Media

Inviting someone to church should be the easiest thing in the world. Who wouldn’t want to come hear good news? And yet there are so many reasons that Christians don’t invite their coworkers, neighbors and friends to experience a weekly worship service. Rather than identify reasons that Christians don’t invite people to church, I thought I’d offer five positive reasons:

They will more than likely come! One surprise from a Barna study of the unchurched: 96% of the unchurched are at least somewhat likely to attend church if they are invited. We think that people are turned off by “church,” and so we say “no” for them rather than letting them say no. However, when a genuine, personal invitation is given, most people respond positively. Instead of an impersonal: “Hey, do you want to come to church Sunday?” … Try this instead: “I’d love for you to consider visiting my church with me soon. It would mean a lot to me that you checked it out. Would you be open to coming this Sunday or next?” Do you see the genuine, personal investment in the second question?
Inviting someone else will usher you into spiritual adventure. When you don’t invite or play a role in the invitational process, you think you’re playing it safe. No harm done. Right? But you’re missing out on one of life’s most incredible opportunities – being able to play a role in someone’s life transformation. Being used by God to introduce someone to forgiveness, peace and ultimate purpose?! There’s nothing more rewarding or energizing! To put it in athletic lingo – is sitting on the bench really what you want to do the rest of your life? You show up for practices (church attendance). You suit up day in and day out. You may have even watched YouTube videos or listened to podcasts on how to play (live) better. The coach wants you in the game.
It will challenge you to refresh your heart, your knowledge and your living. When we take steps to intentionally invite someone to church, we often go through a self-evaluation. We think, “Who am I to be inviting anyone to church?! I need to get my own life right before I do something like that.”  First of all, that’s a clever rationale, but it holds no air. We should do both. Renew our own relationship with God through prayer, confession and joyful repentance AND invite people to church. If you don’t do both simultaneously, you probably won’t do either.
It will give the people you invite the opportunity to make a more informed decision about church and Jesus and eternity. Prior to your invitation, they are making assessments based on what they’ve heard, on the media, and other portrayals of religion. Give them an opportunity to rethink things from personal experience and trust God with the process. Consider what C.S. Lewis said about his own experience:

“I thought that I could do it on my own, by retiring to my rooms and reading theology, and I wouldn’t go to the churches. . . But as I went on I saw the great merit of it. I came up against different people of quite different outlooks and different education, and then gradually my conceit just began peeling off. I realized that the hymns (which were just sixth-rate music) were, nevertheless, being sung with devotion and benefit by an old saint in elastic-side boots in the opposite pew, and then you realize that you aren’t fit to clean those boots. It gets you out of your solitary conceit.”
It will make you see your church in a whole new light, and you can share what you observe. Nothing is better for taking blinders off than when you have a guest present. You realize the welcome and announcement time isn’t done very well. You see misspelled words on the projection screen. You notice that you’re church family actually is (or isn’t) welcoming. You hear the sermon as if it’s your first one. You’re on edge, experiencing everything through the eyes and ears of your guest. It’s a blessing to the church family when you can share your observations and helpful suggestions for improvement (kindly) the following week in a gracious email or phone call.

Which of these reasons stuck out to you as one you’d not considered before? I’m confident you could come up with more reasons to invite someone. What would you add? Leave your input in the comments.

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Surprising deliverance. Is Donald Trump similar to King Cyrus?

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Credit to World Israel News

No, I’m not saying President Trump is acting like a king. Some of you will want to dispute that. This post isn’t intended to be political. My purpose is to help us think beyond partisanship to sovereignty. Let’s talk about the curious case of Cyrus, King of Persia, ca. 559 BC as it relates to Israel and their captivity. If that piques your interest, let me give you a quick history lesson.

Because the Bible offers us unique and accurate historical information, we can begin with the last verse of Isaiah 44:28:

[I am the LORD who made all things], who says of Cyrus, ‘He is my shepherd, and he shall fulfill all my purpose’; saying of Jerusalem, ‘She shall be built,’ and of the temple, ‘Your foundation shall be laid.’”

It mentions Cyrus, king of Persia. According to the historian Herodotus (46BC), Cyrus was the son of Cambyses I. He came to the Persian throne in 559 B.C. Nine years later he conquered the Medes, thus unifying the kingdoms of the Medes and the Persians.

Cyrus is mentioned 23 times in the Old Testament. Isaiah refers to Cyrus as a “shepherd,” the Lord’s “anointed.” He is specifically mentioned as being part of God’s plan to bless His people – and get this – he’s mentioned 150 years before he ever sits on a throne! In other words, before Cyrus was born, God had a purpose for him.

In context, as a nation, Israel had turned their backs on God. The Lord sent them warning after warning, through prophets and divine circumstances, but their disobedience eventually led to the destruction of Jerusalem by Babylon, including the temple, and the Jews were taken captive to Babylon. (Think Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, lions’ dens and fiery furnaces.) This took place about 586BC.

Eventually, the Babylonian Empire would be conquered by the Persians, led by… Cyrus. And guess what Cyrus did?

Now in the first year of Cyrus king of Persia, that the word of the Lord by the mouth of Jeremiah might be fulfilled, the Lord stirred up the spirit of Cyrus king of Persia, so that he made a proclamation throughout all his kingdom and also put it in writing: “Thus says Cyrus king of Persia, ‘The Lord, the God of heaven, has given me all the kingdoms of the earth, and he has charged me to build him a house at Jerusalem, which is in Judah. Whoever is among you of all his people, may the Lord his God be with him. Let him go up.’” (2 Chronicles 36:22-23)

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Google the Cyrus Cylinder! Or read this devotional.

Here’s the significance: a pagan king commissions the rebuilding of the temple of God in Jerusalem! This same king was prophesied – by name – 150 years before he was ever a glimmer in the eye of his dad, Cambyses I. God uses world leaders who don’t know Him to bless His people and accomplish His purposes.

The reference in the 2 Chronicles passage above to fulfilling Jeremiah’s prophecy refers to a message the Lord had given that prophet. The people of Israel would only be held in captivity for 70 years. So when they were finally deported to Babylon, the clock began ticking. 70 years later, Cyrus takes the throne, and one of his first acts is to send the exiles back to Jerusalem – with money and resources to rebuild! (See the Old Testament books of Ezra and Nehemiah).

God uses a world ruler who didn’t claim to know Him to bless His people.

What about Donald Trump?

One thing we can all agree on is that President Trump is a lightning rod for controversy. I don’t know if he has a personal, genuine faith in Jesus Christ. Some say that he made a decision for Christ last year. Certainly he has not acted like it much of the time. The nation has winced at his invectives and been ashamed of his language. He seems to be embody the opposite of James’ counsel to Christians: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)

And yet… there are encouraging signs of support for Christians from this new world leader.

He openly changed his position from pro-choice to pro-life and has been defiantly vocal about his support.
He has expressed a commitment to promoting religious freedom in the U.S. and has hinted at signing an executive order protecting individuals from exercising their religious beliefs in commerce.
He is determined to alleviate the persecution of Christians worldwide.

Did you know that Christian persecution is at the worst levels of persecution in modern times? According to David Curry, president and CEO of Open Doors USA,

“The spread of persecution has gotten worse, now hitting nearly every continent in the world.” (Source)

And yet… Trump has said:

[Christians have] been horribly treated. Do you know if you were a Christian in Syria it was impossible, at least very tough to get into the United States? If you were a Muslim you could come in, but if you were a Christian, it was almost impossible and the reason that was so unfair, everybody was persecuted in all fairness, but they were chopping off the heads of everybody but more so the Christians. And I thought it was very, very unfair. So we are going to help them. (Source)

I’m NOT saying that Trump is the reincarnation of King Cyrus. I AM saying that through the sovereignty of the only real Authority, Donald Trump can be used by God to give relief and aid to His people. Anyone can be used by God to bless others (think Saul/Paul). As for President Trump, initial signs are encouraging. We will wait and see.

“The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will.” (Proverbs 21:1)

I think one thing that the prophets Isaiah and Jeremiah might say to 21st century people of God: “Follow God with all your heart. And when things are discouraging, remember… God can bring help from anywhere. He is in control. Do not fear.”

If you want to read more about Cyrus, check out this site.

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Graturday

A while back I wrote a post on a Wednesday about gratitude that I titled Wratitudnesday. The butchering of vocabulary was inspired by a friend’s gratitude post on a Tuesday called Gladituesday. You can never be grateful enough, and no day is better than others, so on this Saturday, it makes sense to have a post called Graturday. I was going to name it Gratiturday, but unfortunately, it sounded like “grab a turd day” when I said it out loud, so I hope this iteration is a better.

Here’s a few things I’m grateful for on this March Saturday:

[image error] We’ve had a spate of unnatural spring-like weather for Blacksburg (temps in the 70s), and it’s been beautiful outside. While it’s cold again this weekend, I’m grateful for fresh air, open windows, premature sunburns (from sitting outside reading on the swing) and impromptu cookouts with friends.
I’m grateful for health. Some of our dear friends are struggling with health issues with their daughter, and it’s provoked prayer for them, while at the same time reminding me to be grateful for when my household is healthy. It’s embarrassing to admit how easy it is to be grateful for things I don’t really deserve or have not earned.
Truth speakers and reflectors – that is, people who reflect Jesus to me. I have some amazing people in my life. They both call me out and lift me up. 
The Gucci Kroger is across the street from our office, and it makes grabbing snacks, lunches and supplies incredibly convenient. A nice perk. (for more about what-in-the-world-a-Gucci-Kroger-is)
Emojis. Yeah. I use them. I never thought I’d admit it, but you can say so much with just a tiny clipart thinga-ma-bob. Some of my favorites are:

Three attitudes that will change your life: Choose joy

The first two attitudes I covered were Assume the Best and Be Gracious. In this last entry of this series, I’m attempting to share what I believe is only possible for people of faith. In the previous two entries, I’ve said:

As a follower of Jesus and a preacher, I could supply biblical foundations for each of the attitudes in this series and explain how they reflect the character of Christ. I’m not going to, however. It would make the entries a bit longer, and if you’re really interested, just leave a comment, and I’ll respond there.

[image error]However, it’s my conviction that true joy is only available for people who have placed their hearts in the hands of God through faith in Jesus Christ. Read on for what I hope is both encouraging to those of you who are believers and appealing to those of you who aren’t.

Let’s say you’ve assumed the best about someone or a situation and then as time has passed, you’ve realized that you needed to address a real, significant issue. You can no longer assume the best, and so you shifted into being gracious. You attempted to address it with humility and loving truthfulness. It didn’t go so well. Or let’s so that people aren’t involved. It’s just a situation in which you are left feeling powerless and hopeless to change.

What do you do when it’s quiet? When you’re sitting in your living room, and you realize that while you have tried to take the high road, your mind and heart are racing, and behind the scenes, you’re simply… struggling. Things haven’t work out like you’d hoped or wanted. You can feel the bitterness attempting to find fertile soil in your heart to grow into a patch of thorns. You sense the sadness within you attempting to suffocate your soul.

What do you do in these moments? When you’ve responded well relationally, but personally, you realize that more work needs to be done to curb negative emotions and resentment – whether against people or even God (due to circumstances that simply refuse to work out).

Choose Joy

Last February I wrote a post that centered on this theme. In it, I said:

So what do you do when you don’t feel joyful? You press on. You dig deep. You look up. And you trust God. Circumstances (like possibly having a remote starter) might make me feel happy, but only truth breeds joy. In moments of grief, confusion or anxiety, we must choose what’s true in order to experience joy.

We see ordinary people choosing joy in the Bible all the time. Their example both encourages us to do the same and shows us that it can be done.

Paul chose to sing while in prison. (Acts 16.25) Daniel trusted in the lions’ den. (Daniel 6.23) J In the book of Haggai, the returning Jewish exiles realized that their attempt to rebuild their temple fell far short of the glory of Solomon’s temple. Yet, they were told by God, “The latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former. And in this place I will give peace.” (Haggai 2.9) The apostles rejoiced when beaten, thankful that they’d been counted worthy to suffer for the name of Jesus. The list goes on.

One common theme about those who choose to choose joy? They are future-focused instead of past-paralyzed. It’s the only way that one can truly “count it all joy.” (James 1.2) Those who are able to choose/embrace/seek joy are only able to do so because they look beyond their current hurts, disappointments or betrayals.

What do I mean by choosing joy?

The phrase choosing joy may need some amplification. I don’t mean that we can simply shift into a positive emotion in spite of external relationships or circumstances. Choosing joy means that we recognize that our current situation is not the final word. It will not sink us or define us. Rather, if we look through rather than at our circumstances, we may see that Jesus is inviting us to a higher level of living. It is He who is our ultimate model.

“..looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12.2)

He too chose to look through. He was motivated by joy. The cross was a means to an end. The end was His eternal reunion with the Father and the forgiveness of our sins. He saw that disappointments, hurts, betrayals and crosses are temporary. Trusting in God for an assured future produces joy.

“Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” (Psalm 30.5)

When we choose joy, we decide what we think about. “Change your mind; change your life” is a message that psychiatrists promote (and sell books with). It rings true. Because it’s borrowed trust from scripture:

“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4.8)

Choosing joy is a mental exercise in which you submit your cares to God (1 Peter 5.8) and actively trust Him for your help, deliverance and future. It’s changing your thought life, one thought at a time. It’s embracing confidence in God. It’s deeply spiritual and only possible by faith.

What happens when we choose joy?

Short and simple… people notice you. A joyful person is a peculiar person. A joyful person attracts attention because when everyone else is moaning about their circumstances, a joyful person is singing in prison.

Finally, a joyful person also deflects attention. They know that joy is not something they muster up but something they experience as the fruit of a life rooted in trusting God. (Galatians 5.22) Joyful people point to Jesus as the source of their joy.

Wrap-Up

These three attitudes have made a huge difference in how I process difficult situations, relate with difficult people and release disappointment when life just won’t cooperate with my expectations.

Assume the best.
Be gracious.
Choose joy.

Which one is the most challenging for you? Which is the most encouraging?

Also in Three Attitudes That Will Change Your Life


Three attitudes that will change your life: Assume the best


Three attitudes that will change your life: Be gracious


Three attitudes that will change your life: Choose joy

View the entire series

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Lunch convos: Biking to work and quicksand

[image error]It was August 2016. I was eating with a few fellow staffers from my church at a Mexican restaurant in Blacksburg. We usually laugh constantly together at inane and even insane comments. This particular lunch made me realize that I should take notes of comments made for blog purposes. They will either produce a chuckle, or you can do the SMH thing and go on your way.

I’ll cover two comments in this entry:

“It used to be ‘I bike to work,’ and I felt sorry for you, but now people say ‘I bike to work’ pretentiously.”

I can’t remember if Alex or Aaron contributed this jewel. The conversation had hovered for a few moments on physical fitness and the current fads related to losing weight and/or working out. I think we’d been rather snarky about CrossFit during the conversation – mainly because there’s a club right next to the church office. About the time we are leaving for our generally unhealthy lunches, there’s a parade of runners that we have to wait to pass us as we exit our parking lot.

While we are daydreaming of enchiladas, chips and salsa on the brain, these folks are literally cheering for one another as they run by us while carrying large rubber balls up the street and back.

I get it. I do. Staying fit is easier with community. Perhaps people have always been pretentious about current fitness fads? Maybe one caveman said to another, “It’s so sad you’re still using the boulder lift. I’ve discovered that you can lose weight and build muscle faster by waving mastodon bones above your head for 30 minutes a day.”

By the way, about the only heavy lifting we did at lunch that day was elevating a forkful of burrito to our mouths.

Next up:

“I really thought quicksand is going to be a problem in real life.”

This was most definitely another Aaronic observation. The conversation drifted to daily annoyances, when the quicksand comment sank in. (see what I did there?) He followed it up by blaming The Princess Bride movie for this fear.

One takeaway:

Irrational fears can stump anyone. It’s reassuring to learn that “do not fear” is one of the Bible’s most often-repeated commands. Keith Krell has a wonderful entry called Fear Factor in which he says:

According to our nation’s Bureau of Standards, a dense fog covering seven city blocks, to a depth of a hundred feet, contains less than one glass of water. All of that fog, if it could be condensed into water, wouldn’t quite fill a drinking glass. Compare this to the things we often worry about. Like fog our worries can thoroughly block our vision of the light of God’s promises, but the fact is they have little substance to them. When you feel fearful, remind yourself that by tomorrow this fear may not seem as pressing. Most of the things that we fret about are relatively insignificant.

Wrap-Up

Enjoying this lunch convo series? Have no fear. I’ve had lunch multiple times since August and have a lot more comments to share. In the meantime, I think the “Pulling Yourself Out of Quicksand” arm workout may be something you want to try instead of biking to work.

Also in Lunch Convos


Lunch convos, Part 1


Lunch convos, Part 2


Lunch convos, Part 3


Lunch convos, Part 4


Lunch convos: Biking to work and quicksand

View the entire series

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Northstar Church’s 2016 highlight video

I’m grateful to be part of a wonderful church family. Here’s the highlight video from 2016 that we shared this past Sunday as part of our annual State of the Church message.

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Three attitudes that will change your life: Be gracious

The first attitude I covered was Assume the Best. In this entry, I’ll cover what I think is a posture of the heart that smooths relational angst and radically increases your likelihood of cultivating respect.

One caveat. As a follower of Jesus and a preacher, I could supply biblical foundations for each of the attitudes in this series and explain how they reflect the character of Christ. I’m not going to, however. It would make the entries a bit longer, and if you’re really interested, just leave a comment, and I’ll respond there.

Being gracious is the attitude you adopt when the time has passed for assuming the best. You’ve given someone the benefit of the doubt only to discover that what you initially refused to believe is now evident as reality. You chose to believe they weren’t spreading rumors about you. You chose to believe they were simply having a bad day. Now you’re aware that the opposite is true. They really do have a problem… and maybe it’s with you.

So what do you do?

You choose to…

Be gracious.

The dictionary defines gracious as courteous, kind and pleasant. Also, merciful and compassionate. Practicing courtesy when you’re wounded is not a default for the human heart.

What this means is that when it’s time to confront, to communicate, to hold someone accountable, to inform them that you have been hurt… you choose to extend courtesy, kindness and compassion to them. Don’t leave your character at the door in a fit of vengeful rage. Refuse to allow bitterness to spring up within you.

Any negative, gut-wrenching emotion that you feel toward someone who has wronged you or has misunderstood you will do more of a number on you than it does on them. By allowing negative emotions to rule, you are also giving the unpleasant situation power over you.

So instead, you will need to exercise something that we social-media-saturated Americans rarely exercise – mental dexterity. We must choose to rule in our heads over negative emotions and displace the easy-lazy pattern of embracing negativity with the focused-disciplined pattern of embracing graciousness.

This is not the way of the world. As we’ve seen in 2016, graciousness didn’t win the presidential election. It’s not just counter-cultural. It’s counter-personal. We don’t want to be gracious when we have been disappointed, discouraged, maligned or plain and simply, hurt.

And yet the cycle of hurt and being hurt must stop somewhere. Why not make the commitment to be gracious, to stop the hurting cycle with you. There’s no benefit in hurting someone who has hurt you. It may satisfy initially, but as you’ll discover, it wilts your soul.

As much as it depends on you, be gracious. After all, isn’t that exactly how you want to be treated?

Also in Three Attitudes That Will Change Your Life


Three attitudes that will change your life: Assume the best


Three attitudes that will change your life: Be gracious

View the entire series

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