Merrill Markoe's Blog, page 12

Maybe I am the inspiration for Sarah Palin

The man who took this photo in 1999 (Vern Evans) for "Merrill Markoe's Guide to Love"  has it posted on his Facebook page.  I hadn't seen it in a while and then a friend sent it to me. So I was looking at it and thinking"What does this remind me of?" And then it occurred to me: I was ahead of the whole Sarah Palin Wilderness Woman curve.  In fact its possible that she stole the image from me.  Though she did make a few big important pointlessly horrible changes .  For instance,   this photo w...

Apparently the dogs have been decorating.

I am in the middle of a massive re-write of my new book which is a book of essays. My new editor had many many notes.  So it has been a very labor intensive time for me.

Also the man I live with was sick.. That alone was pretty distracting.

I say these things as a way to explain how it is that I didn't notice that my dogs had taken over the decorating chores at my house.  I didn't know any of them had the interest or the inclination.  In fact, I'm not even sure which of them did this work...

I am a guest lecturer on Regretsy

Well….my book Nose Down Eyes Up comes out in paperback today.  Yes… all the great dog and human humor of the original is now smaller and cheaper!

And so, in an attempt to get the word out, I am a guest lecturer on my friend April Winchell's brilliant hilarious site Regretsy. I am there to point out spelling errors in people's home made crafts.  And if you are so inclined,

You can see it right here.

I got it: The cure for pedophilia in the priesthood.

I was taking a shower this morning and it came to me in a flash.  The cure for getting rid of pedophiles from the priesthood will come when the Vatican finally allows priests to marry.  Especially if it allows them to marry children.

I got it: The cure for pedophilia in The Priesthood.

I was taking a shower this morning and it came to me in a flash.  The cure for ridding  pedophilia from the priesthood will come when the Catholic Church finally allows its priests to marry.  Especially if it allows them to marry children.

Elena Kagan….

Based on this picture, I predict that if  Elena Kagan gets confirmed as the new Supreme Court justice,  she will do for Patton Oswalt what Sarah Palin did for Tina Fey.

Well, I'm in the Wall Street Journal

Because, you know, I'm such a big player on Wall Street.

Actually, that's misleading. I'M not in the Wall Street Journal. A piece I wrote is in the Wall Street Journal and you can see it for yourself right here. I was asked to write something about how the coming holidays are more than the usual amount of difficult because of all the divisive political opinion right now. So I wrote about America's two big hobbies: Celebrating and Freaking out. I have never written anything so quickly in my...

The poems of Dorothy Parker: Damn!

May I humbly suggest that everyone who stumbled upon this entry go immediately to google and enter "Dorothy Parker, poems of". Every so often I re-read them and  just want to sing her praises, that's all.  Brilliant is too often repeated a word to describe her work. Here is a perfect 4 line example that makes me gasp every time I read it. Its the end of a poem called "Ballade of a Great Weariness."

"Oh, beggar or prince, no more no more!
Be off and away with your strut and show
The sweeter the a...

The poems of Dorothy Parker

May i humbly suggest that everyone who stumbled upon this entry go immediately to google and enter "Dorothy Parker, poems of". As I re-read her poems I just want to sing their praises, that's all.  Brilliant is too often repeated a word to describe her work.  Random example:

Love Song

My own dear love, he is strong and bold
And he cares not what comes after,
His words ring sweet as a chime of gold,
And his eyes are lit with laughter
He is jubilant as a flag unfurled
Oh a girl, she'd not forget him

Wanna be a member?

Now that I have gotten in to the habit of blogging on here, I feel kind of guilty when I don't.  I might as well have been raised Catholic. The truth is, I haven't written anything because I bought a green screen.  It started when I saw Avatar and I thought "Hell, I can do that.". No no. Just kidding. It started when I saw two 8 year old boys on You Tube making green screens with chartreuse construction paper.  I said to myself, I said I said, "I can't be stupider than an eight year old."...