Cathy Maxwell's Blog, page 2

The Hard Lesson

No one said it would be easy.

Here is a hard lesson I had to learn: there are tougher things to being an author than getting the book published.  

I believed that once I had published my first book, all would be known to me. I could trust I had arrived. I had met the hardest, and biggest, hurdle and my course would be smooth after that.

Nothing could be further from the truth.  The biggest challenge I face is an ongoing one:  self-doubt.  Self-doubt has killed more careers than bad reviews, lack of advertising funds, ugly covers, and poor discoverability combined.

Writers are in the entertainment industry.  We are always putting ourselves out there to be judged.  This is not a business for the sensitive.  Then again, neither is acting, modeling, news broadcasting, and, I’ll lump this in here, politics. It is even a challenge to be a librarian nowadays. Unwanted spotlights loom everywhere. But then, to create something and want it to be consumed by the public calls for thick skin. I quickly learned that if I paid too much attention to what others think, I wouldn’t accomplish anything.  I would have given up thirty-eight books ago.

How do I stop self-doubt from robbing me of my mojo? I never forget that I’m doing something I love. That is the most important point.  I don’t know if I could not write. But I also believe that if I want to grow as a writer, and I do, I’ve got to push some boundaries. That means I might try characters who are unlikeable, play with tropes, sample new themes. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t.  But I shared my opinions when I wrote the book.  Readers have the right to clap back.

I won’t lie—when a reader “gets” what I’m doing, when they believe that reading one of my books is the absolute best use of their time, it’s magic. And that is what I strive for.  

But I’ve been at this a long time.  I’m not going to please everyone.  I’ve also learned that the most important relationship in publishing is very personal—it is the connection of a reader to the writer through a book.  My mind tapping into someone else’s by way of a story.  Amazing, isn’t it. As close to a miracle as I can imagine. 

And that opportunity for connection is what checks my self-doubt. 

Don’t get me wrong.  Self-doubt is a nasty critter. It reserves a piece of real estate on my desk.  But I’m not going to let it win.  Not when there is the possibility of magic lurking on the horizon.

Life, Rain, and the Pup

Tess

Monday and I promised myself I would do a blog post—but it is raining.  We’ve so desperately needed the rain in Texas.  Plus, it has been a very hard weekend.  Lots to mull over and just when everything seems bleak, here is rain.

So, I’m taking this as a good sign and leaving you with a pic of Tess the Pup watching the rain.  She knows her walk tonight will be delayed.  On the bright side, that walk will be splashy and cooler.

Stay well, my friends. 

Love is Not Love Without . . .

Love

I spend hours for days on end thinking about why people fall in love.  And not just any love but the kind of love that lasts a lifetime—and here is one thing I know is true:  Love without acceptance is an empty emotion.

Granted, showing acceptance to everyone I love can be a bit of a trick.  I love people who don’t share my worldview.  But on the matters that are deeply important to me—kindness, consideration, gentleness, loyalty—we are very much in sync.  Focusing on those qualities in others allows me to accept. 

By the way, offering acceptance to those I love helps keep some of my own more troubling qualities in check.  Acceptance means I can’t judge, or try to control, or badger, cajole, bribe or numerous schemes to get those I love to do what I want.  They are free to make their own decisions. I pray they are good ones . . . but even if they aren’t, I respect the right of those I love to make their own choices.  And somehow, they always do. One way or another.  

Life in the Crazy Lane – New Book Release!

 I have not been blogging.  HIS LESSONS ON LOVE released the end of January.  But it was not a “normal” release.

 All eformats of the book hit the virtual shelves but the paper copies were delayed about a week and a half.  However, all is good.  My readers are with me, and new readers will find me.  I’ve been in this business a long time and I’ve learned that readers will wait.  Certainly, I’ve waited for books I really wanted to read.

 I am very grateful for patient readers. In fact, I’m grateful for all of you who have supported my work over the years. You are a blessing not only to my career, but also to my life.  

 You and I share something—we believe that love, and the crazy things two people do as they discover how much they matter to each other, is a worthy theme for a book.  We also believe that it is okay for reading to be entertaining.  I have a dear friend who never reads fiction.  Ever.  Her loss . . . and I’ve noticed that she is far too heavy about the things that happen in life.  Fiction inspires me.  It gives me a break from the real world.  Sometimes, it leads me to see reality from a new perspective.  I often see myself in fictional characters, even those in unfortunate circumstances.  There are also days when the characters from books live in the back of my mind.  

 However, I digress.  

What I want to say is THANK YOU for your patience and your support of my stories.  I’m currently working on a new series “The Gamblers’ Daughters.” I’ll be sharing more on that later.

 Much love to you all!

Yes! Readers and Writers NEED to Connect

Brian Feehan, Sierra London, and me photobombing a reader winning a raffle prize from Kelle Z Riley

I went to Booklovers Con (https://www.bookloverscon.com ) a few weeks ago. Yes, right before Christmas but not a moment too late. 

I had a great time.  It is true I pretty much have a great time everywhere I go, but this Con was valuable because it reminded me of how important readers are to my creativity. 

First, I don’t want to write in a vacuum.  When I’m in my office, struggling with all the crazy doubts writers have, I start to wonder what good all this plotting and thinking is. What does story matter when life seems upside down or sideways? 

Nor do I think writers are the only ones who question themselves when left alone too long. We all do. Daily routines keep me going but they can also be stagnating. 

What plugs me into life is when I take time out for a bit of adventure . . . which, when I think about it, is exactly what I ask the characters in my books to do.  After all, when did Belle become interesting enough to have her own story?  When she was going to the bookstore again? Or when she went to rescue her father?  The Beast reminds us that we never know the full measure of our lives until we try something new.  

By the way, yes, I was masked at Booklovers (except for pictures) and I took precautions.  (I pray that someone reading this twenty years from now won’t know what I’m talking about. Or have images of Zorro in their head.) However, meeting readers, hearing what romance novels and stories mean to them, is invaluable to my creative energy. Readers are my Beast. Their enthusiasm makes me come alive. I’m out of the vacuum.

The Con was fun for readers because, well, cons are fun. If you haven’t been to one, go! A Romance event is one of the few places I can travel as a single woman and know I am going to enjoy myself. I met two police dispatchers who work sixteen-hour days. They made Booklovers a “friends” trip—they celebrated the books they love to read, they swam with the manatees, they dressed up, and ate good food. Oh, and they probably slept in a time or two because they weren’t answering to anyone.

In other words, they let go of the daily grind. I was doing the same thing, and I will continue to do so.

In 2022, I’m heading to several Fresh Fiction (https://freshfiction.com ) events around the Dallas area where I can talk books, maybe dance, and certainly step out of the predictability of everyday life. I also hope to be at Booklovers Con when they have it sometime in August (maybe) and in Texas (perhaps).  Maybe I’ll even meet a Beast. They assure me that if I hang around Texas long enough, I will trip over one or two. The fun of adventure is that I never know what is ahead.

I’m also taking part in GenreCon (https://www.mymcpl.org/library-information/about-mcpl/highlights/romance-genrecon out of Kansas City again this year.  There will also be a trip to Atlanta for the Moonlight and Magnolias writers conference. 

But most of all, I hope I meet you. We’ll have a great time.  I promise.

Hello, 2022, I Have a New Approach

I’m not doing New Year’s resolutions this year. They haven’t worked. Ever.

Instead, I’m setting up accountability systems. I want to connect myself with ways to hold more responsibility for changing bad habits, for living a life generous to myself as well as others. 

The “ah ha” moment came when a guidance counselor friend was explaining how she can’t just be accountable to herself no matter how hard she tries. She fudges the results. I fudge the results. I start off with intentions of a healthy diet in the morning and along about 3 p.m. . . .? Well, things go to the fridge.

Here are the ways I will hold myself accountable:

– Journaling: I already journal every morning, but now I’m setting an intention as well. A friend gifted me affirmation cards with a word of the day feature. I will draw a card daily and let the lesson sink in.

– Recording: Yes, I have several apps where I can track food, drink, and exercise. I will now make time to use at least one of them. Again, my goal is to live with connection and that includes connecting to my health. I enjoy exercise. I should do more of it, except I always slide it to the end of my day and then run out of time. I like cooking good food. I will endeavor to try new recipes, even if they, like exercise, call for a piece of time in my day. My intention is not to take shortcuts, to believe I am worth the short amount of time these activities take. 

Oh, and I’m also recording sleep. I don’t know how long this intention will last, or really any of them. I figure if I eat healthy, exercise, and sleep well at least 65% of the time, then 2022 will be a “love my body” breeze. Which brings me to–

– Loving: How do I want to be seen as a grandmother? Or as a friend? Or as a mother? That last one is tricky. My kids are all adults. The idea of being a “mother” has changed. I’m still around to advise, if asked . . . but most of the time they don’t ask. That means I get to chill with my kids which is vastly more enjoyable that “mothering.”

Will I be successful with my accountability systems? Perhaps a touch more successful than I was with resolutions. After all, the decision to act on my goals rests with me.

I do believe that resetting myself at least once during the year (and often in June and September) is a good thing. For one thing, it keeps me centered on the purpose of my life and that is always a gift.

Oh, and today the word of the day is “Learn.” Isn’t that a lovely call for action at the beginning of a new year?

Gratitude is Love on Steroids

Love

The word Gratitude is love on steroids.  It is a noun that implies that an action is in progress. It is happening!  It is here!  And it is a very good thing.

So, setting aside the wordsmith in me, here is what I am grateful for right here and now:

For my family, especially the kids, kids-in-law, and fun grandkids who keep me tapped into life.

For my community of friends who help me live without fear.  

For my career that allows me to indulge my imagination

For readers, the people who “get” me.  Bless all of you.

And now let us send 2021 out in style. May your holidays be joyful and brimming with love. But most of all, be good to yourself.  You deserve it.

Happy Reading!

Join Me!—Meeting Readers in Orlando

 I am past ready to do something fun. I want to meet people in person, especially readers. I need to be out in the world.

 For that reason, I’m heading to Orlando December 16 – 19 for the Booklovers Convention.  

 I know it is a few weeks before Christmas.  That is a stressful time and yet, I’ve been through stressful times over the past almost two years.  This will be a fun stressful time where readers and writers can celebrate these books we love to read. Besides, the stress is that I might not get all my packages wrapped or miss a neighborhood party.

But I do think taking time for myself is important.  I believe I must indulge in talking books, listening to writers share their journeys and thoughts, and just enjoy some silliness that comes with a national conference. There will be workshops, parties, games, and more than done chance to dance. Yes, dance! Remember that?

This will be a slimmer Booklovers convention than in the past.  It is a few weeks before the holidays . . . but I like that.  It gives me a chance to really connect with people, and that is what I yearn for—connection. (Plus the introvert side of me gets overwhelmed by huge crowds.)

I hope you can join me, even if it is just for Saturday’s big book signing.  The details, and a list of the wonderful authors planning to attend, are at www.booklovers.con

October’ed

I am full of October today.  Someone gave me pumpkin bread over the weekend, the temperatures are a touch cooler here in Central Texas, and the world seems a very good place at this moment.  No, I have not turned on the news. Instead, I’m basking in possibility thinking.  Ghosts, goblins, new ideas, and poetry. Wind-whipping poetry

And I’m okay with that.

Empower the Writer – GO ON RETREAT

Every six months or so, I go on retreat with a few writers. We choose someplace quiet, near water if possible, and always when it is a good time of the year to sit outside. The stated goal is to put as many words into the story as possible, but so far, that hasn’t happened.

Instead, what I gain during a Retreat is a better sense of myself.

And I need that. It is easy to lose sight of the reason I write.

Let me explain: Books are part of the entertainment industry. I write commercial fiction so I’m swimming in the mainstream. That need to satisfy the vagaries of selling can sometimes chomp away at a story-telling soul. At the very least, the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves start to trend negative.

A retreat simply puts me back in touch with that soul. I take time for myself and to bounce ideas around without second-guessing myself because I’m with other writers, writers I trust.

I used to attend a retreat organized by a large group of writers. Close to a hundred of us would gather at an old inn built on a cliff where two rivers meet. Hawks and sometimes an eagle would soar the air currents above the clashing waters. The sight could have have recharged anyone’s energy . . . but the conversations in the bar reminded me that I’m not alone, gave me fresh points of view, and celebrated the story teller inside each and every one of us. It takes courage to write a book and put it out there. I would walk away from that retreat empowered, and it had nothing to do with industry leads or income comparisons. I was a storyteller and as mighty as one of those hawks sailing high above those Shenandoah waters.

Let us never forget, the fresh ideas, the amazing characters, the pushing of genre boundaries that delight readers doesn’t come from marketing departments or even off editorial desks. It begins with a writer having a glimmer of an idea. Of feeling free enough to turn that idea around in her head, to examine it, trust it, and then let words do the rest. Encouragement from my peers has helped shape my most powerful characters.

But the days of the big retreat are over. Writers still gather, but more for marketing and industry discussions. Those conferences have their place . . . .but I must have a haven in a world that is often too brusque with creatives.

So I go on retreat with a small group of trusted writers/friends. We hash out stories, we think about readers, we encourage each other to push on.

Retreats aren’t just for writers. When we take time for them, they can replenish the soul of any group whether it be clergy or executives or educators or just people who need to drop out for a bit.

What did I pick up on this season’s retreat that will stay with me? One is a renewed respect for my genre. There are so many facets to romance that I don’t think I will ever tire of it. Also the reinforcement to listen to the story in my head. To trust myself. After almost thirty years in this business, I still need to hear those affirmations. Including this one—that it is a gift to be able to rub shoulders with writers.

Life is very good indeed.