Michelle Hauck's Blog, page 64
July 27, 2015
New Agent 6: SUNNY BERINGER'S TOTALLY AWESOME PLAN FOR ROMANCE, MG Contemporary
Title: Sunny Beringer's Totally Awesome Plan for RomanceWord Count: 48,000Genre: MG Contemporary
Query:
At a time when most eleven-year-olds are navigating first crushes, Sunny Beringer finds herself trying to ignite a spark...between her own parents. Mom's moved Sunny and her sister miles away to live with a grandmother she barely knows to get some fancy degree, and Sunny seems to be the only one bothered by the whole situation.
Turning her worries into action, Sunny Beringer’s Totally Awesome Plan for Romance is born--a list of sure-fire ways to make her mom and forever boyfriend Scott, her real dad as far as she’s concerned, fall madly in love again. While working on a photo album guaranteed to make Mom think about the good old days when she and Scott were young and in love, Sunny discovers a photo. And not just any old photo. A photo that changes everything.
Mom and Scott have been keeping secrets from her. Now Sunny knows that there's nothing stopping her mom from taking a job across the country or her "dad" from finding a new girlfriend who could have a family of her own. Sunny needs to get back to New Jersey to make sure Scott never forgets her, even if he moves on to someone new. She must do something to make her grandmother kick them out of her house so they have nowhere to go but home, even if it means lying, sneaking around, and hurting the people who care about her. Without a marriage, divorce, or custody arrangement, if Sunny doesn't get her mom to move the family back home ASAP, she'll risk losing the only dad she's ever known.
First 250:
Sunny Beringer's Totally Awesome Plan for Romance was guaranteed to succeed. It was fail-proof, inspired by love, sprinkled with a touch of magic from somewhere out in the universe, and would solve all of my problems because...well, because it had to.
At least that's what I told myself as Mom and I walked up the front steps of Piedmont Middle School on my first day of sixth grade. All three stories of the old brick building looked down at me in a threatening way, and if you think that buildings cannot glare at you then you have never seen this one. I could just hear the low and rumbling voice: "Hey, little sixth grader! Go back to elementary school, where you belong!"
I couldn't help sticking my tongue right out. Because of course I belonged in elementary school. If it were up to me, I'd be starting sixth grade at Alexander Elementary back in New Jersey with my best friend Madeline, in a nice friendly little school that would never growl at me like this one was doing. And if my Plan for Romance worked out the way it was supposed to, in a few weeks I'd be waving goodbye and good riddance to Piedmont Middle School forever.
We stopped at the office to get my schedule. I stared out the large glass window at the swarm of kids zooming this way and that.
“Do you want me to walk with you?” Mom asked.
Query:
At a time when most eleven-year-olds are navigating first crushes, Sunny Beringer finds herself trying to ignite a spark...between her own parents. Mom's moved Sunny and her sister miles away to live with a grandmother she barely knows to get some fancy degree, and Sunny seems to be the only one bothered by the whole situation.
Turning her worries into action, Sunny Beringer’s Totally Awesome Plan for Romance is born--a list of sure-fire ways to make her mom and forever boyfriend Scott, her real dad as far as she’s concerned, fall madly in love again. While working on a photo album guaranteed to make Mom think about the good old days when she and Scott were young and in love, Sunny discovers a photo. And not just any old photo. A photo that changes everything.
Mom and Scott have been keeping secrets from her. Now Sunny knows that there's nothing stopping her mom from taking a job across the country or her "dad" from finding a new girlfriend who could have a family of her own. Sunny needs to get back to New Jersey to make sure Scott never forgets her, even if he moves on to someone new. She must do something to make her grandmother kick them out of her house so they have nowhere to go but home, even if it means lying, sneaking around, and hurting the people who care about her. Without a marriage, divorce, or custody arrangement, if Sunny doesn't get her mom to move the family back home ASAP, she'll risk losing the only dad she's ever known.
First 250:
Sunny Beringer's Totally Awesome Plan for Romance was guaranteed to succeed. It was fail-proof, inspired by love, sprinkled with a touch of magic from somewhere out in the universe, and would solve all of my problems because...well, because it had to.
At least that's what I told myself as Mom and I walked up the front steps of Piedmont Middle School on my first day of sixth grade. All three stories of the old brick building looked down at me in a threatening way, and if you think that buildings cannot glare at you then you have never seen this one. I could just hear the low and rumbling voice: "Hey, little sixth grader! Go back to elementary school, where you belong!"
I couldn't help sticking my tongue right out. Because of course I belonged in elementary school. If it were up to me, I'd be starting sixth grade at Alexander Elementary back in New Jersey with my best friend Madeline, in a nice friendly little school that would never growl at me like this one was doing. And if my Plan for Romance worked out the way it was supposed to, in a few weeks I'd be waving goodbye and good riddance to Piedmont Middle School forever.
We stopped at the office to get my schedule. I stared out the large glass window at the swarm of kids zooming this way and that.
“Do you want me to walk with you?” Mom asked.
New Agent 7: THESE WICKED WATERS, YA THRILLER
Title: These Wicked WatersWord Count: 68,000Genre: YA ThrillerQuery
After her rock climbing trip is cancelled, seventeen-year-old Annie plans to spend a boring summer working at her mom’s island resort—until she stumbles upon a human skeleton. Though a closer look reveals the skeleton isn’t human at all. Humans don’t have fish tails. Days later, a guest’s bloated body washes ashore. Law enforcement pronounces the death an accidental drowning, yet Annie wonders if something sinister is at play. The skeleton would give investigators a better lead, but Annie keeps quiet, aware her discovery occurred while scaling the Forbidden-By-Mom Cliffs. Instead, she channels Nancy Drew—minus the skirt and pearls. While scavenging the island for clues, Annie finds a siren tangled in submerged netting and cuts her loose. The sea-woman’s thank you is a warning: others are coming and, fueled by vengeance for a past murder, they will not rest until every human on the island is dead. When Annie’s childhood crush is found next, mutilated and half-eaten, the sea-creatures' vendetta gets personal. No more waiting for another attack. Annie’s bringing the fight to the sirens. Complete at 68,000 words, THESE WICKED WATERS is a YA thriller narrated through alternating views of Annie in present day and her eventual siren ally centuries in the past.
250 Words
When Mom bought the island investors called “cursed,” I figured she wanted a challenge. Even still, the last thing I expected was for her to build a multi-million dollar resort on its sandy shores. Or that I’d spend my first five minutes on Viaii Nisi throwing up in the women’s bathroom. “This is disgusting,” I groaned, rubbing my watering eyes as I banished the remains of a once delicious grilled cheese sandwich to the island’s plumbing. Seasickness was a terrible weakness. A penchant for fainting and waking up in the arms of a hot guy would be much preferred. I exited the bathroom stall with the tattered remains of my dignity and maneuvered through the crowd of women at the sinks. A water fountain at the entrance screamed my name. Outside, the blast of fresh—if humid—air eased the tightness in my chest. I took a slow inhale and curled the bill of my baseball hat as I waited for a guy to finish slurping from the fountain. Hordes of people milled about the Welcome Center, a cluster of shops and information booths, as they waited for the resort bus to arrive. A group of elderly ladies toddled toward the bathroom, sporting panicked looks of weak bladders and a desperate need to go. I took my exit cue and hurried toward the pier, grabbing a sip from the now-free water fountain on the way. Ten minutes prior, I’d torn down the ferry’s ramp, begging my stomach to show mercy until I found a toilet.
After her rock climbing trip is cancelled, seventeen-year-old Annie plans to spend a boring summer working at her mom’s island resort—until she stumbles upon a human skeleton. Though a closer look reveals the skeleton isn’t human at all. Humans don’t have fish tails. Days later, a guest’s bloated body washes ashore. Law enforcement pronounces the death an accidental drowning, yet Annie wonders if something sinister is at play. The skeleton would give investigators a better lead, but Annie keeps quiet, aware her discovery occurred while scaling the Forbidden-By-Mom Cliffs. Instead, she channels Nancy Drew—minus the skirt and pearls. While scavenging the island for clues, Annie finds a siren tangled in submerged netting and cuts her loose. The sea-woman’s thank you is a warning: others are coming and, fueled by vengeance for a past murder, they will not rest until every human on the island is dead. When Annie’s childhood crush is found next, mutilated and half-eaten, the sea-creatures' vendetta gets personal. No more waiting for another attack. Annie’s bringing the fight to the sirens. Complete at 68,000 words, THESE WICKED WATERS is a YA thriller narrated through alternating views of Annie in present day and her eventual siren ally centuries in the past.
250 Words
When Mom bought the island investors called “cursed,” I figured she wanted a challenge. Even still, the last thing I expected was for her to build a multi-million dollar resort on its sandy shores. Or that I’d spend my first five minutes on Viaii Nisi throwing up in the women’s bathroom. “This is disgusting,” I groaned, rubbing my watering eyes as I banished the remains of a once delicious grilled cheese sandwich to the island’s plumbing. Seasickness was a terrible weakness. A penchant for fainting and waking up in the arms of a hot guy would be much preferred. I exited the bathroom stall with the tattered remains of my dignity and maneuvered through the crowd of women at the sinks. A water fountain at the entrance screamed my name. Outside, the blast of fresh—if humid—air eased the tightness in my chest. I took a slow inhale and curled the bill of my baseball hat as I waited for a guy to finish slurping from the fountain. Hordes of people milled about the Welcome Center, a cluster of shops and information booths, as they waited for the resort bus to arrive. A group of elderly ladies toddled toward the bathroom, sporting panicked looks of weak bladders and a desperate need to go. I took my exit cue and hurried toward the pier, grabbing a sip from the now-free water fountain on the way. Ten minutes prior, I’d torn down the ferry’s ramp, begging my stomach to show mercy until I found a toilet.
New Agent 8: HER ONLY ESCAPE, YA Contemporary Thriller
Title: Her Only EscapeWord Count: 82,000Genre: YA Contemporary Thriller (Diverse)Query:When seventeen-year-old Samantha Powell goes for a swim in the chilly Willamette River, the last thing she expects is a dead girl trying to drown her. Despite her friends’ claim that it was only a CPR dummy, Samantha knows exactly what she saw. And she can’t get the girl out of her mind. Especially when her best friend, Jenna, suddenly vanishes.The police dismiss Jenna's missing person case as another Oregon runaway. But Samantha disagrees; she knows Jenna wouldn’t split town. With the help of Caleb, her crush, Samantha investigates the case on her own. And when hallucinations of the girl from the river connect to other missing person cases, Samantha is convinced time is running out. Desperate for the truth, she and Caleb plot breaking into her school's counseling files and police case records. Working together brings her and Caleb closer, which comforts her, until she finds out that he's hiding a shocking accusation Jenna made the week before she went missing.Now Samantha has to decide who to trust and what to believe. And when more evidence stacks up, revealing Samantha was the intended victim, it’s not just about saving her friend anymore. If she fails, she might be the next to disappear, but to succeed she’ll have to confront her fears.First 250 words:Home isn’t an option. At least not one I’m given. Within five minutes of my text, Jenna crouches over me while Micah rummages through my closet.
“You’re going to the river now or—” Jenna rips the covers from my head.
“Later. I pick later.”
“Has later ever become an actual later?” Jenna doesn’t look amused.
“For the record, yes. Practically all the time.” Never.
“You’re losing your best friend status to Micah real quick.”
“Hey! What happened to the trifecta?” Hurt flitting across Micah’s eyes as she exits the closet.
Jenna playfully swipes Micah's face. “Oh, Micah,” Jenna says.
“Just go without me.”
“We thought you’d say that, so we chose three devastatingly embarrassing rumors to spread if you don’t go,” Jenna says.
“One is gastrointestinal.” Micah crawls on the other side of me so that I’m now flanked between them.
“Let’s flip a coin…” Jenna tugs hard at my blanket and flashes a quarter. “Aah… Tails… you’re jacked with all three.”
I let my covers fly across the room, giving them both the stink eye. Micah pounces on me, squirting Mixed Chicks detangler in her hands and fingers them through my curls. When she’s done, she fishes three swimsuits out of her bag.
“Red, orange, or black?”
“I’ll freeze.” Micah gives me her I’m not playing look and launches my pillow at me. “Black.” I roll my eyes and snatch the suit from her hands, resisting the urge to jump out the window, hop over the fence, and make a run for the bike path.
“You’re going to the river now or—” Jenna rips the covers from my head.
“Later. I pick later.”
“Has later ever become an actual later?” Jenna doesn’t look amused.
“For the record, yes. Practically all the time.” Never.
“You’re losing your best friend status to Micah real quick.”
“Hey! What happened to the trifecta?” Hurt flitting across Micah’s eyes as she exits the closet.
Jenna playfully swipes Micah's face. “Oh, Micah,” Jenna says.
“Just go without me.”
“We thought you’d say that, so we chose three devastatingly embarrassing rumors to spread if you don’t go,” Jenna says.
“One is gastrointestinal.” Micah crawls on the other side of me so that I’m now flanked between them.
“Let’s flip a coin…” Jenna tugs hard at my blanket and flashes a quarter. “Aah… Tails… you’re jacked with all three.”
I let my covers fly across the room, giving them both the stink eye. Micah pounces on me, squirting Mixed Chicks detangler in her hands and fingers them through my curls. When she’s done, she fishes three swimsuits out of her bag.
“Red, orange, or black?”
“I’ll freeze.” Micah gives me her I’m not playing look and launches my pillow at me. “Black.” I roll my eyes and snatch the suit from her hands, resisting the urge to jump out the window, hop over the fence, and make a run for the bike path.
New Agent 9: THE FREQUENCY OF BLUE, YA Magical Realism
Title: The Frequency of Blue
Word count: 74,000
Genre: YA Magical Realism
Query:
Three friends make it out of the crash alive.
Drew, the driver, walks away with a single scratch, easily mended.
Gopher loses his sight.
Ryan falls unconscious in the ambulance, but she’s awake and talking when her mother kicks Drew out of her room.
But when Drew goes to visit her the next day, Ryan’s bed is empty, and the hospital staff informs him of her death. Her mother shuts off her phone, surrenders her precious pug to the local shelter, and ships her body to Louisiana for a private family funeral – all before Drew realizes the need for farewell. The only connection left is the notebook they shared as a creative outlet – she to write, he to draw.
When a mysterious new entry appears in the notebook, Drew learns that Gopher has been hearing Ryan’s voice. Despite Gopher’s reluctance to serve as translator, Drew quickly realizes that he may not have to say goodbye after all. When his desire to prolong their conversation jeopardizes his only remaining friendship, Drew struggles to move on without leaving Ryan behind.
First 250 words:
Drew couldn’t shake the stench of blood and lilac. The metal bed frame dug in behind his knees as he watched the medic talk to the nurse and gesture in his direction. He should smell antiseptic and cotton swabs and tile, but the thick sweet aroma persisted and dragged him back to that slick stretch of highway. To the hypnotic pattern of red, blue, and yellow flashes that turned his stomach.
He remembered the sick panic when he’d seen the black cocoon on its stretcher. He’d made it only two paces before the medic stepped into his path. She’d pressed her hands firmly against his shoulders. “Stop.”
He’d tried to keep moving. “Who is that? Who’s in the bag?”
“Stop!”
Drew stopped. What was he planning to do? Tear down the zipper and find Ryan or Gopher lifeless beneath the plastic? The tremor started in his hands and moved up his arms.
“Look at me.” The medic snapped her fingers an inch short of his nose. “The EMTs are working to help your friends. That’s the other driver.”
The tightness around his chest eased, but the tremor remained. He closed his eyes. His lids muted the flashing, but they’d done nothing to ease the clench of his fists as the rescue workers loaded Ryan and Gopher into separate ambulances.
Even now, even though he knew he was safe in the ER, behind his eyes he saw the only things that mattered – Ryan and Gopher flat on their backs, cobwebs of mist forming on their hair.
Word count: 74,000
Genre: YA Magical Realism
Query:
Three friends make it out of the crash alive.
Drew, the driver, walks away with a single scratch, easily mended.
Gopher loses his sight.
Ryan falls unconscious in the ambulance, but she’s awake and talking when her mother kicks Drew out of her room.
But when Drew goes to visit her the next day, Ryan’s bed is empty, and the hospital staff informs him of her death. Her mother shuts off her phone, surrenders her precious pug to the local shelter, and ships her body to Louisiana for a private family funeral – all before Drew realizes the need for farewell. The only connection left is the notebook they shared as a creative outlet – she to write, he to draw.
When a mysterious new entry appears in the notebook, Drew learns that Gopher has been hearing Ryan’s voice. Despite Gopher’s reluctance to serve as translator, Drew quickly realizes that he may not have to say goodbye after all. When his desire to prolong their conversation jeopardizes his only remaining friendship, Drew struggles to move on without leaving Ryan behind.
First 250 words:
Drew couldn’t shake the stench of blood and lilac. The metal bed frame dug in behind his knees as he watched the medic talk to the nurse and gesture in his direction. He should smell antiseptic and cotton swabs and tile, but the thick sweet aroma persisted and dragged him back to that slick stretch of highway. To the hypnotic pattern of red, blue, and yellow flashes that turned his stomach.
He remembered the sick panic when he’d seen the black cocoon on its stretcher. He’d made it only two paces before the medic stepped into his path. She’d pressed her hands firmly against his shoulders. “Stop.”
He’d tried to keep moving. “Who is that? Who’s in the bag?”
“Stop!”
Drew stopped. What was he planning to do? Tear down the zipper and find Ryan or Gopher lifeless beneath the plastic? The tremor started in his hands and moved up his arms.
“Look at me.” The medic snapped her fingers an inch short of his nose. “The EMTs are working to help your friends. That’s the other driver.”
The tightness around his chest eased, but the tremor remained. He closed his eyes. His lids muted the flashing, but they’d done nothing to ease the clench of his fists as the rescue workers loaded Ryan and Gopher into separate ambulances.
Even now, even though he knew he was safe in the ER, behind his eyes he saw the only things that mattered – Ryan and Gopher flat on their backs, cobwebs of mist forming on their hair.
July 24, 2015
Character Soup from Michele Keller
Today I welcome Michele Keller with a guest post about character soup. It's a good piece of advice to keep in mind when writing your query letter too. Thanks, Michele!
I’m ready.
Well, I’m pretty sure I’m ready. This is not my element, but I’m intelligent, capable. I can do this. I grip my drink tighter, just to steady my hand. My brain is racing. My palms are sweating. Other people seem to have no problem. How hard can it be to remember a few names? I’m armed with mnemonics. I search the crowd for little distinguishing traits: Cliff’s cleft chin, Blue-eyed Bridgette, something, anything to help me remember, but there are just too many of them. A few introductions quickly turn into a dozen. The faces swirl together forming an indistinct mass. These characters are no longer people; they are a crowd. They close in around me, and I begin to scream.
I’m not at a party. I’m reading a book, and the author has just committed character soup, the heinous act of introducing too many characters, too fast. I’m the first to admit that I suck at remembering names. I’m even worse at faces. I can meet no more than three people at a time and have any chance of remembering them, and if I’m being totally honest that only means that I will remember meeting them. A name with a face? Not a chance. If you want me to remember someone, I have to meet them one at a time, and then spend some time with that person, swap a few antidotes, a promise to friend them online, and then I can move on to the next person. The most terrifying experience of my life was the receiving line at my wedding. One hundred of my new husband’s relatives flew past like an assembly line. Fifteen years later, I still don’t know half their names, and now it’s too late to ask.
Writers don’t do this to your readers. Don’t introduce your entire cast in the first chapter. I won’t remember them, and I probably will close the book. I took my last literature class years ago. I don’t want to make index cards when I start a novel.
How bad is this problem really? I recently read a published book that introduced seven characters on the first five pages. Only three of them were necessary. The others could have easily been pushed back to later. Because I was doused in character soup, I had no idea who was more important. I also had no opportunity to get to know any of these characters and make any connections with them. These are critical in the first few pages.
In another novel, unpublished draft for a CP, he introduced thirteen characters in the first chapter. Some of them had different names in the prose and dialogue. I had to reread these passages several times to even know who was speaking to whom.
In full disclosure, I’m not immune, either. In my first draft of my current MS, I named all 11 of my MC’s teammates in one paragraph! Then, later down the page when an argument broke out I, like any good elementary school teacher, passed the dialogue out equally among all the characters. *facepalm* Needless to say, I made a few changes.
So why is this so important? Readers want a story. They don’t care how big the cast is, they want to feel a connection. Running through a roster like it's the starting lineup is boring. It delays the story.
It also doesn’t mimic real life. Conversations rarely happen like an open forum. Even in groups, exchanges happen primarily between two people. Pay attention next time you are at a party. There might be dozens of people around, but conversations occur in small groups of two, or possibly three.
What to do instead?
1. Plan your opening scenes carefully. Introduce characters individually and let readers spend sometime with them before introducing others.
2. Treat coupled characters as a single entity. Characters who always appear together, your MC’s parents, for example, or the twins (who in real life hate being called “the twins”) should be introduced together. Treating paired characters as a single entity in the initial introduction can also help clarify an important relationship, particularly if they are secondary characters. In my MS I have a couple that never appears separately throughout the story.
3. It’s ok to use subtle name clues to help your readers remember characters. This can easily be done without relying on overused tropes and stereotypes. I doubt there were few people who didn’t change Luna Lovegood into Loony Lovegood as they read. This is a great trick for managing large groups of secondary characters.
4. Find a distinct trait to identify your character and refer to this trademark trait after a long absence. Does the character’s habit of chewing his nails annoy your MC? Remind your readers. They will be far more likely to remember the character.
5. Refer to a character by their occupation, rather than name them. If your character needs to get stitched up, just call the woman with the needle “the doctor.” If she isn’t part of the story, she doesn’t need a name.
Make it easy for your readers to remember characters. Then they won’t have to spend their time with their thumbs in the index trying to remember exactly whom your MC is talking to, and they can just enjoy your story.
--------------------------------
Michele Keller is a former music teacher, turned stay-at-home-mom, turned writer. She blogs about family-friendly travel, health and wellness, and the adventure known as parenting. Her writing blog focuses on publishing advice, book reviews, and her drunken stumblings toward the editor’s desk.
You can find Michele at:www.activefamilyohio.comhttp://michelekeller.wordpress.comTwitter: @ml_keller
I’m ready.
Well, I’m pretty sure I’m ready. This is not my element, but I’m intelligent, capable. I can do this. I grip my drink tighter, just to steady my hand. My brain is racing. My palms are sweating. Other people seem to have no problem. How hard can it be to remember a few names? I’m armed with mnemonics. I search the crowd for little distinguishing traits: Cliff’s cleft chin, Blue-eyed Bridgette, something, anything to help me remember, but there are just too many of them. A few introductions quickly turn into a dozen. The faces swirl together forming an indistinct mass. These characters are no longer people; they are a crowd. They close in around me, and I begin to scream.
I’m not at a party. I’m reading a book, and the author has just committed character soup, the heinous act of introducing too many characters, too fast. I’m the first to admit that I suck at remembering names. I’m even worse at faces. I can meet no more than three people at a time and have any chance of remembering them, and if I’m being totally honest that only means that I will remember meeting them. A name with a face? Not a chance. If you want me to remember someone, I have to meet them one at a time, and then spend some time with that person, swap a few antidotes, a promise to friend them online, and then I can move on to the next person. The most terrifying experience of my life was the receiving line at my wedding. One hundred of my new husband’s relatives flew past like an assembly line. Fifteen years later, I still don’t know half their names, and now it’s too late to ask.
Writers don’t do this to your readers. Don’t introduce your entire cast in the first chapter. I won’t remember them, and I probably will close the book. I took my last literature class years ago. I don’t want to make index cards when I start a novel.
How bad is this problem really? I recently read a published book that introduced seven characters on the first five pages. Only three of them were necessary. The others could have easily been pushed back to later. Because I was doused in character soup, I had no idea who was more important. I also had no opportunity to get to know any of these characters and make any connections with them. These are critical in the first few pages.
In another novel, unpublished draft for a CP, he introduced thirteen characters in the first chapter. Some of them had different names in the prose and dialogue. I had to reread these passages several times to even know who was speaking to whom.
In full disclosure, I’m not immune, either. In my first draft of my current MS, I named all 11 of my MC’s teammates in one paragraph! Then, later down the page when an argument broke out I, like any good elementary school teacher, passed the dialogue out equally among all the characters. *facepalm* Needless to say, I made a few changes.
So why is this so important? Readers want a story. They don’t care how big the cast is, they want to feel a connection. Running through a roster like it's the starting lineup is boring. It delays the story.
It also doesn’t mimic real life. Conversations rarely happen like an open forum. Even in groups, exchanges happen primarily between two people. Pay attention next time you are at a party. There might be dozens of people around, but conversations occur in small groups of two, or possibly three.
What to do instead?
1. Plan your opening scenes carefully. Introduce characters individually and let readers spend sometime with them before introducing others.
2. Treat coupled characters as a single entity. Characters who always appear together, your MC’s parents, for example, or the twins (who in real life hate being called “the twins”) should be introduced together. Treating paired characters as a single entity in the initial introduction can also help clarify an important relationship, particularly if they are secondary characters. In my MS I have a couple that never appears separately throughout the story.
3. It’s ok to use subtle name clues to help your readers remember characters. This can easily be done without relying on overused tropes and stereotypes. I doubt there were few people who didn’t change Luna Lovegood into Loony Lovegood as they read. This is a great trick for managing large groups of secondary characters.
4. Find a distinct trait to identify your character and refer to this trademark trait after a long absence. Does the character’s habit of chewing his nails annoy your MC? Remind your readers. They will be far more likely to remember the character.
5. Refer to a character by their occupation, rather than name them. If your character needs to get stitched up, just call the woman with the needle “the doctor.” If she isn’t part of the story, she doesn’t need a name.
Make it easy for your readers to remember characters. Then they won’t have to spend their time with their thumbs in the index trying to remember exactly whom your MC is talking to, and they can just enjoy your story.
--------------------------------
Michele Keller is a former music teacher, turned stay-at-home-mom, turned writer. She blogs about family-friendly travel, health and wellness, and the adventure known as parenting. Her writing blog focuses on publishing advice, book reviews, and her drunken stumblings toward the editor’s desk.
You can find Michele at:www.activefamilyohio.comhttp://michelekeller.wordpress.comTwitter: @ml_keller
July 23, 2015
Query Questions with Penelope Burns
Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
Penelope Burns is the newest agent at Gelfman Schneider/ICM Partners. She's also part of the New Agent contest! Now we can get to know her better.
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?No, but if the entire query and sample pages are riddled with typos, that gives me pause. What really gets me though is when a query letter doesn’t get my name right, especially if it’s the name of an entirely different agent. Obviously I understand that it’s a multiple submission, but there’s something impersonal about an error like that.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?Without fail, always. There have been cases where the query letter was rough, but I was captivated by the writing in the sample pages to request more. There’s a reason I ask for sample pages, after all!
Do you have an assistant or intern go through your queries first or do you check all of them?I look at all of them!
If the manuscript has a prologue, do you want it included with the sample pages?Yes, definitely. If I get a sample chapter that’s not the opening pages, I wonder why—is this where the story actually starts? Plus, if there’s a prologue, the writer must have a reason for including one.
How important are comp titles? Is it something you want to see in a query?I love seeing comp titles in a query. It helps me get a sense if the manuscript is going to be in line with my tastes, and it’s always great when I see one of my favorites mentioned as a comp—that’s a clear sign to me that I’ll probably enjoy the manuscript.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?Personalized chit-chat is fine, especially if it’s a cute little icebreaker (like, “I saw you like hockey, I like hockey too!”) but I wouldn’t want the chit-chat to overwhelm the query letter. Sometimes I think it’s best to be straight and to the point.
Most agents have said they don’t care whether the word count/genre sentence comes first or last. But is it a red flag if one component is not included?I don’t care if it’s first or last, but it’s a definite red flag if there’s no word count! I can generally get a gist for the genre by reading the query, although I would prefer to know upfront. But I really like to know word count, especially if it’s going to be over 100,000 words and it's an MG novel, for example. That in itself is a red flag!
Writers hear a lot about limiting the number of named characters in a query. Do you feel keeping named characters to a certain number makes for a clearer query?I think it’s important to identify the main characters, but too many characters starts to feel like a list of names, which is hard when I haven’t read the manuscript yet to determine personalities.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?I get about twenty a week. Of those, I might request one, maybe two.
Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?In my opinion, no, unless it’s a non-fiction query—then I want to know that the writer has a platform. I wouldn’t require a writer to start a twitter account, but it I think it would be helpful to reach out to potential readers and potentially make some contacts in the publishing world.
If a writer makes changes to their manuscript due to feedback should they resend the query or only if material was requested?For me, only if material was requested, because I don’t want to be reading an outdated draft, especially if the changes make the feedback stronger.
What does ‘just not right mean for me’ mean to you?It’s such a subjective statement, but for me it means just that: not right for me. Maybe it just wasn’t fitting in with my tastes, it’s an entirely different genre than one I represent, or I’m not connecting with the characters/voice. I don’t want to take on anything that I’m not 100% in love with and feel that I can fight for.
Do you consider yourself a hands-on, editorial type of agent?Yes, definitely.
What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query?Someone wrote their entire query as a poem. In both free verse and with rhyming. I still have it saved in my email.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?1) Any YA really, but I’m craving a good contemporary romance or something GOSSIP GIRL-ish2) A good mystery, adult or YA 3) MG with humor
What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes? Oh man, I could ramble forever about this question! I read pretty much all YA/MG, and favorites include THE DARKEST MINDS series, SINCE YOU’VE BEEN GONE by Morgan Matson, THE NAME OF THIS BOOK IS SECRET, and I AM THE MESSENGER. As far as adult goes, I tend towards the more literary, and I really loved TELL THE WOLVES I’M HOME and SPECIAL TOPICS IN CALAMITY PHYSICS. I’m more a TV buff than a movie person, but KISS KISS BANG BANG is my all-time favorite movie. Reality TV is my not-so-secret guilty pleasure, and I’ve been really loving unREAL lately. I also love VERONICA MARS, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, the amazing quirkiness and astounding twists on THE FLASH…the list goes on and on and I’ll stop here before I start writing my own novel.
------------------------------------
Penelope Burns is the newest member of Gelfman Schneider/ICM Partners. She came to the agency as an intern after graduating from Colgate University in 2012. Currently, as an agency assistant, Penelope is looking to a build a list of her own. She is interested in Literary and Commercial fiction and non-fiction, as well as a variety of Young Adult and Middle Grade.
I'm actively looking for YA/MG novels with a unique voice or an unreliable narrator, or an interesting and unique premise. I'd also love to see a YA contemporary romance, or a clever MG with a lot of humor. I am not seeking adult thrillers.
Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a new series of posts called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers for the real expert--agents!
If you have your own specific query question, please leave it in the comments and it might show up in future editions of Query Questions as I plan to rotate the questions.
Penelope Burns is the newest agent at Gelfman Schneider/ICM Partners. She's also part of the New Agent contest! Now we can get to know her better.
Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?No, but if the entire query and sample pages are riddled with typos, that gives me pause. What really gets me though is when a query letter doesn’t get my name right, especially if it’s the name of an entirely different agent. Obviously I understand that it’s a multiple submission, but there’s something impersonal about an error like that.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?Without fail, always. There have been cases where the query letter was rough, but I was captivated by the writing in the sample pages to request more. There’s a reason I ask for sample pages, after all!
Do you have an assistant or intern go through your queries first or do you check all of them?I look at all of them!
If the manuscript has a prologue, do you want it included with the sample pages?Yes, definitely. If I get a sample chapter that’s not the opening pages, I wonder why—is this where the story actually starts? Plus, if there’s a prologue, the writer must have a reason for including one.
How important are comp titles? Is it something you want to see in a query?I love seeing comp titles in a query. It helps me get a sense if the manuscript is going to be in line with my tastes, and it’s always great when I see one of my favorites mentioned as a comp—that’s a clear sign to me that I’ll probably enjoy the manuscript.
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?Personalized chit-chat is fine, especially if it’s a cute little icebreaker (like, “I saw you like hockey, I like hockey too!”) but I wouldn’t want the chit-chat to overwhelm the query letter. Sometimes I think it’s best to be straight and to the point.
Most agents have said they don’t care whether the word count/genre sentence comes first or last. But is it a red flag if one component is not included?I don’t care if it’s first or last, but it’s a definite red flag if there’s no word count! I can generally get a gist for the genre by reading the query, although I would prefer to know upfront. But I really like to know word count, especially if it’s going to be over 100,000 words and it's an MG novel, for example. That in itself is a red flag!
Writers hear a lot about limiting the number of named characters in a query. Do you feel keeping named characters to a certain number makes for a clearer query?I think it’s important to identify the main characters, but too many characters starts to feel like a list of names, which is hard when I haven’t read the manuscript yet to determine personalities.
How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?I get about twenty a week. Of those, I might request one, maybe two.
Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?In my opinion, no, unless it’s a non-fiction query—then I want to know that the writer has a platform. I wouldn’t require a writer to start a twitter account, but it I think it would be helpful to reach out to potential readers and potentially make some contacts in the publishing world.
If a writer makes changes to their manuscript due to feedback should they resend the query or only if material was requested?For me, only if material was requested, because I don’t want to be reading an outdated draft, especially if the changes make the feedback stronger.
What does ‘just not right mean for me’ mean to you?It’s such a subjective statement, but for me it means just that: not right for me. Maybe it just wasn’t fitting in with my tastes, it’s an entirely different genre than one I represent, or I’m not connecting with the characters/voice. I don’t want to take on anything that I’m not 100% in love with and feel that I can fight for.
Do you consider yourself a hands-on, editorial type of agent?Yes, definitely.
What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query?Someone wrote their entire query as a poem. In both free verse and with rhyming. I still have it saved in my email.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?1) Any YA really, but I’m craving a good contemporary romance or something GOSSIP GIRL-ish2) A good mystery, adult or YA 3) MG with humor
What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes? Oh man, I could ramble forever about this question! I read pretty much all YA/MG, and favorites include THE DARKEST MINDS series, SINCE YOU’VE BEEN GONE by Morgan Matson, THE NAME OF THIS BOOK IS SECRET, and I AM THE MESSENGER. As far as adult goes, I tend towards the more literary, and I really loved TELL THE WOLVES I’M HOME and SPECIAL TOPICS IN CALAMITY PHYSICS. I’m more a TV buff than a movie person, but KISS KISS BANG BANG is my all-time favorite movie. Reality TV is my not-so-secret guilty pleasure, and I’ve been really loving unREAL lately. I also love VERONICA MARS, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, the amazing quirkiness and astounding twists on THE FLASH…the list goes on and on and I’ll stop here before I start writing my own novel.
------------------------------------
Penelope Burns is the newest member of Gelfman Schneider/ICM Partners. She came to the agency as an intern after graduating from Colgate University in 2012. Currently, as an agency assistant, Penelope is looking to a build a list of her own. She is interested in Literary and Commercial fiction and non-fiction, as well as a variety of Young Adult and Middle Grade. I'm actively looking for YA/MG novels with a unique voice or an unreliable narrator, or an interesting and unique premise. I'd also love to see a YA contemporary romance, or a clever MG with a lot of humor. I am not seeking adult thrillers.
July 22, 2015
Getting the Call with Julie Dao
Very wise advice today from Julie Dao. I can't really say it better so just read it and keep some Kleenex nearby. Congrats, Julie! The hardest fought victories are the sweetest.
If you’re like most writers seeking publication, you’ve probably read a ton of “how-I-got-my-agent” stories. And when you’re struggling in the Query Trenches, desperate for one – just one! – damn sign from the universe that you’re not trying in vain, most of the stories seem to go like this:
“I sent out ten queries and got The Call!”
“I queried for a month and ended up with fifteen offers!”
“I entered a contest and my agent picked me right away!”
This is not that kind of story.
Like many, I started writing at a young age, and after college, I decided I’d never be truly happy without it. So in the years that followed, I wrote five novels. I got lots of encouragement: a story I posted online won awards; a rough draft I entered into the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Awards beat out thousands to become a quarterfinalist; and a great agent asked me to query her after she read my blog.
Still, nothing REAL happened. “REAL” meaning that ultimate writer’s fairy tale like the ones I’d read, where I’d casually send out a query or two and immediately have agents rioting in the streets of Manhattan for me.
In 2012, I wrote ELEGY, the book of my heart. I poured everything I had into it. I lived, breathed, and dreamed it. Every second I got, I tinkered with it.
When I took it out into the world, there was a lot of fanfare.
My CPs swore up and down that this would be THE BOOK. I got accepted into every contest I entered: Pitch Wars, Cupid’s Literary Connection, and The Writer’s Voice. Suddenly, agents who were way out of my league sat up and took notice. For every three queries I sent, I would get 1-2 full requests. I had an 80% request rate at one point – crazy odds for a girl who’d queried one other book prior and gotten nothing but crickets.
But that was where the fairy tale began fizzling out. I racked up rejection after rejection. I spent even more time fixing and polishing. I sent new drafts to my CPs, who are all angels, because anyone else would have clawed my eyes out after having to read 1284721 versions of the same book.
FINALLY, something happened. An agent emailed, asking: “Can we talk on the phone?” But all of my happy dancing was for naught, because it was just a revise-and-resubmit (R&R) call. *Sad trombone: waaah, waaah, waaaaaaaaahhhh* Still, I was excited – this was a door open! The agent had very extensive revisions, but I knew I could handle them. And when a second agent called me, asking for similar fixes, I knew I HAD to try.
Six months later (yes, SIX), I finished the revision. I asked everyone who had my full whether they wanted the new draft, and they all said yes. I turned it in to the two R&R agents, and the first one responded within minutes, telling me how excited she was.
A week later, she emailed again. At first my brain couldn’t figure out why she’d included words like “unfortunately,” “a lot to love, but...” and “further revision.” But then I realized that after all that time and effort, I still wasn’t getting an offer from her. And, right after that email came in, I got five rejections from people I’d been crossing my fingers for.
It was a crushing blow. I think the worst part was knowing how close I had come: close enough to expect an offer, close enough for busy agents to call and help me fix my book. Close, but STILL not there.
They say you need a thick skin in this business, but even a thick skin can wear down over time. So in January, after a dozen more rejections (and silence from the second R&R agent, who, as it turns out, had left the business), I threw in the towel, even though I still had fulls out.
I was unhappy and discouraged, and I felt more so every time I heard about someone else getting signed within hours/days/weeks. I had been trying for YEARS. I felt like a fraud, and I felt like I wasn’t talented or deserving enough. At last, everyone who had ever mocked my dream – including my own father – had been proven right.
It was a dark time, but I told myself I wasn’t *really* giving up. I was just taking time off to remember how much I loved this. So I joined Wattpad and happily started writing an awesome new story, hoping to build a readership to encourage myself.
That was when The Call came, on a bleak February afternoon when eight feet of snow coated the sidewalks. I returned from a meeting to find a voicemail from an AWESOME agent, one of those “way-out-of-my-league” agents. I had never even dared to query her, and she only had ELEGY because she’d requested it through #PitMad the year before.
I tried to protect myself and temper my expectations by saying, “It’s gonna be another R&R,” but that stupid, stubborn heart of mine insisted on hoping. This time, it didn’t hope in vain, because that awesome agent asked me to be one of her clients.
I spent a week and a half nudging everyone else, and within days I got a second offer of representation from Writers House.
There was a lot of crying during this time – a lot of joy and heartache and relief. I was at my lowest point in January, convinced that I’d never even get close to seeing my book on a shelf. And in a few weeks’ time, I had somehow bagged two unbelievable offers.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t give up even if it seems hopeless right now. If things get to be too much, take a step back. Stop reading other people’s agent fairy tales, because we all have different timelines and there’s simply no rhyme or reason to it. You’ll go nuts trying to figure that stuff out. Breathe. Write something for YOU. Remember how much you love this, and always, always keep your chin up and keep going.
Oh, and I ended up signing with the awesome agent who offered first, Tamar Rydzinski of the Laura Dail Literary Agency!
----------------------------------
Julie C. Dao is a native New Englander who once studied to become a doctor – until she realized the only surgery she should be doing is revising her manuscripts. Though she is anything but a musical prodigy, she likes to write about them and relive her days as an orchestra geek. When she’s not working on her books, she enjoys reading, going for long runs, and beating everyone at Pictionary. She is represented by Tamar Rydzinski of the Laura Dail Literary Agency. Visit her blog at juliedao.com.
Website: www.juliedao.comTwitter: https://twitter.com/jules_writesFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/julesdaowrites
If you’re like most writers seeking publication, you’ve probably read a ton of “how-I-got-my-agent” stories. And when you’re struggling in the Query Trenches, desperate for one – just one! – damn sign from the universe that you’re not trying in vain, most of the stories seem to go like this:
“I sent out ten queries and got The Call!”
“I queried for a month and ended up with fifteen offers!”
“I entered a contest and my agent picked me right away!”
This is not that kind of story.
Like many, I started writing at a young age, and after college, I decided I’d never be truly happy without it. So in the years that followed, I wrote five novels. I got lots of encouragement: a story I posted online won awards; a rough draft I entered into the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Awards beat out thousands to become a quarterfinalist; and a great agent asked me to query her after she read my blog.
Still, nothing REAL happened. “REAL” meaning that ultimate writer’s fairy tale like the ones I’d read, where I’d casually send out a query or two and immediately have agents rioting in the streets of Manhattan for me.
In 2012, I wrote ELEGY, the book of my heart. I poured everything I had into it. I lived, breathed, and dreamed it. Every second I got, I tinkered with it.
When I took it out into the world, there was a lot of fanfare.
My CPs swore up and down that this would be THE BOOK. I got accepted into every contest I entered: Pitch Wars, Cupid’s Literary Connection, and The Writer’s Voice. Suddenly, agents who were way out of my league sat up and took notice. For every three queries I sent, I would get 1-2 full requests. I had an 80% request rate at one point – crazy odds for a girl who’d queried one other book prior and gotten nothing but crickets.
But that was where the fairy tale began fizzling out. I racked up rejection after rejection. I spent even more time fixing and polishing. I sent new drafts to my CPs, who are all angels, because anyone else would have clawed my eyes out after having to read 1284721 versions of the same book.
FINALLY, something happened. An agent emailed, asking: “Can we talk on the phone?” But all of my happy dancing was for naught, because it was just a revise-and-resubmit (R&R) call. *Sad trombone: waaah, waaah, waaaaaaaaahhhh* Still, I was excited – this was a door open! The agent had very extensive revisions, but I knew I could handle them. And when a second agent called me, asking for similar fixes, I knew I HAD to try.
Six months later (yes, SIX), I finished the revision. I asked everyone who had my full whether they wanted the new draft, and they all said yes. I turned it in to the two R&R agents, and the first one responded within minutes, telling me how excited she was.
A week later, she emailed again. At first my brain couldn’t figure out why she’d included words like “unfortunately,” “a lot to love, but...” and “further revision.” But then I realized that after all that time and effort, I still wasn’t getting an offer from her. And, right after that email came in, I got five rejections from people I’d been crossing my fingers for.
It was a crushing blow. I think the worst part was knowing how close I had come: close enough to expect an offer, close enough for busy agents to call and help me fix my book. Close, but STILL not there.
They say you need a thick skin in this business, but even a thick skin can wear down over time. So in January, after a dozen more rejections (and silence from the second R&R agent, who, as it turns out, had left the business), I threw in the towel, even though I still had fulls out.
I was unhappy and discouraged, and I felt more so every time I heard about someone else getting signed within hours/days/weeks. I had been trying for YEARS. I felt like a fraud, and I felt like I wasn’t talented or deserving enough. At last, everyone who had ever mocked my dream – including my own father – had been proven right.
It was a dark time, but I told myself I wasn’t *really* giving up. I was just taking time off to remember how much I loved this. So I joined Wattpad and happily started writing an awesome new story, hoping to build a readership to encourage myself.
That was when The Call came, on a bleak February afternoon when eight feet of snow coated the sidewalks. I returned from a meeting to find a voicemail from an AWESOME agent, one of those “way-out-of-my-league” agents. I had never even dared to query her, and she only had ELEGY because she’d requested it through #PitMad the year before.
I tried to protect myself and temper my expectations by saying, “It’s gonna be another R&R,” but that stupid, stubborn heart of mine insisted on hoping. This time, it didn’t hope in vain, because that awesome agent asked me to be one of her clients.
I spent a week and a half nudging everyone else, and within days I got a second offer of representation from Writers House.
There was a lot of crying during this time – a lot of joy and heartache and relief. I was at my lowest point in January, convinced that I’d never even get close to seeing my book on a shelf. And in a few weeks’ time, I had somehow bagged two unbelievable offers.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t give up even if it seems hopeless right now. If things get to be too much, take a step back. Stop reading other people’s agent fairy tales, because we all have different timelines and there’s simply no rhyme or reason to it. You’ll go nuts trying to figure that stuff out. Breathe. Write something for YOU. Remember how much you love this, and always, always keep your chin up and keep going.
Oh, and I ended up signing with the awesome agent who offered first, Tamar Rydzinski of the Laura Dail Literary Agency!
----------------------------------
Julie C. Dao is a native New Englander who once studied to become a doctor – until she realized the only surgery she should be doing is revising her manuscripts. Though she is anything but a musical prodigy, she likes to write about them and relive her days as an orchestra geek. When she’s not working on her books, she enjoys reading, going for long runs, and beating everyone at Pictionary. She is represented by Tamar Rydzinski of the Laura Dail Literary Agency. Visit her blog at juliedao.com.
Website: www.juliedao.comTwitter: https://twitter.com/jules_writesFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/julesdaowrites
July 21, 2015
Cover Reveal for GRAYNELORE
Rogrig Wishard is a killer, a thief and a liar. He’s a fighting man who prefers to solve his problems with his sword.
In a world without government or law, where a man’s only loyalty is to his family and faerie tales are strictly for children, Rogrig Wishard is not happy to discover that he’s carrying faerie blood. Something his family neglected to tell him. Not only that but he’s started to see faeries for real.
If he’s going to make any sense of it he’s going to have to go right to the source – the faeries themselves. But that’s easier said than done when the only information he has to go on is from bards and myth.
How best to describe, Graynelore? A gritty tale of divided loyalty. An epic fantasy. A grown-up faerie tale. A blood-soaked mystery. And, in its own way, a twisted love story…
AmazonUK|AmazonUS|HarperCollins UK|Barnes and Noble|Play Google
Goodreads
---------------------------
Stephen Moore is the author of the fantasy novel, GRAYNELORE. (Published by, HarperVoyager. 13th August 2015.)A published author since the mid 1990's he’s also written several well received fantasy books for older children (ages 9-14yrs/YA) including, TOOTH AND CLAW, SPILLING THE MAGIC and FAY. (Published by, Crossroad Press.)
Stephen hails from the North of England; a beautiful land he loves to explore; full of ancient Roman history, medieval castles and remnants of the infamous Border Reivers.
Long ago, before he discovered the magic of storytelling, he was an exhibition designer and he has fond memories of working in the strange old world of museums. Sometimes he can still be found in auction houses pawing over old relics!
He loves art and books, old and new. He’s into rock music, movies, history and RPG video games! But mostly, he likes to write, where he gets to create his own worlds.
WEBSITE|Facebook|Twitter|
July 20, 2015
July 2015 Critique Blog Hop
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This blog hop is for anyone wanting feedback on their query letter and first 250 words. Simply post your information on your blog along with genre and word count. Then add your link to the list.
Please critique the five entries above and the five entries below you. The list will act like a loop for people at the beginning or end of the list to feedback each other.
Please be honest and give to get. Don't leave your fellow writers hanging.
This blog hop is for anyone wanting feedback on their query letter and first 250 words. Simply post your information on your blog along with genre and word count. Then add your link to the list.
Please critique the five entries above and the five entries below you. The list will act like a loop for people at the beginning or end of the list to feedback each other.
Please be honest and give to get. Don't leave your fellow writers hanging.
The New Agent Chosen Picks
This was an amazing turnout for a mini-contest. You surpassed the number of entries received for Query Combat and Sun versus Snow. We had very close to 300 entries. It's good to know so many people appreciate my contests! (Make sure you read to the end for the surprise.)
That's the plus side. On the downside, that makes for a smaller percentage being taken and a larger group of disappointed writers. Please remember that each Expert Captain only got 4 picks. Then they had to win their fellow captains approval on more of their favorites for the Group picks. It was very subjective, and unlike for agents, they were limited to a certain number where agents can take as many as interest them.
I know the disappointment of not making contests. I was on the maybe list several times, but never chosen for a large contest.
Yet, just because you might not be moving to the agent round doesn't mean that agents won't love your query and opening page. Most people get their agents from the query slush and not contests. The main thing is to add a little fun to the querying process and make some writer connections. Contests are great places to learn. Keep polishing and try Pitchwars in August!
I want to thank Natasha Raulerson, Laura Heffernan, Wade Albert White, Dan Koboldt, and Max Wirestone for giving so much of their valuable time to not only read so much and narrow down their choices (a very tough job), but also for agreeing to mentor six writers.
So let's get to it. Visit the blogs of the Team Experts to see their picks and who they will be mentoring.
Max Wirestone
Dan Koboldt
Wade Albert White
Laura Heffernan
Natasha Raulerson
Now for the surprise!
Since I missed all the fun wrangling over group picks and shouting out hints on twitter, I'm going to take two additional entries to the agent round as Host Saves!
----
--
-
30 Days with Doctor Death
The Lying Division
You can expect to hear from me today with some notes on tweaking your entries. These are already so strong I'm not sure I can add anything, but I'll try. For the other agent round entries, also expect to hear from your mentor soon.
I'm going to suggest a deadline of Friday, July 24th at 9 pm Eastern for all agent round entries to be revised.
Please send your entry to the contest email with the same formatting by that time. That will allow me two days to create 32 posts by Monday morning. If your entry isn't in by Saturday morning, I won't be happy. Don't make me a grumpy hostess-- send earlier if you can.
Good luck everyone!
That's the plus side. On the downside, that makes for a smaller percentage being taken and a larger group of disappointed writers. Please remember that each Expert Captain only got 4 picks. Then they had to win their fellow captains approval on more of their favorites for the Group picks. It was very subjective, and unlike for agents, they were limited to a certain number where agents can take as many as interest them.
I know the disappointment of not making contests. I was on the maybe list several times, but never chosen for a large contest.
Yet, just because you might not be moving to the agent round doesn't mean that agents won't love your query and opening page. Most people get their agents from the query slush and not contests. The main thing is to add a little fun to the querying process and make some writer connections. Contests are great places to learn. Keep polishing and try Pitchwars in August!
I want to thank Natasha Raulerson, Laura Heffernan, Wade Albert White, Dan Koboldt, and Max Wirestone for giving so much of their valuable time to not only read so much and narrow down their choices (a very tough job), but also for agreeing to mentor six writers.
So let's get to it. Visit the blogs of the Team Experts to see their picks and who they will be mentoring.
Max Wirestone
Dan Koboldt
Wade Albert White
Laura Heffernan
Natasha Raulerson
Now for the surprise!
Since I missed all the fun wrangling over group picks and shouting out hints on twitter, I'm going to take two additional entries to the agent round as Host Saves!
----
--
-
30 Days with Doctor Death
The Lying Division
You can expect to hear from me today with some notes on tweaking your entries. These are already so strong I'm not sure I can add anything, but I'll try. For the other agent round entries, also expect to hear from your mentor soon.
I'm going to suggest a deadline of Friday, July 24th at 9 pm Eastern for all agent round entries to be revised.
Please send your entry to the contest email with the same formatting by that time. That will allow me two days to create 32 posts by Monday morning. If your entry isn't in by Saturday morning, I won't be happy. Don't make me a grumpy hostess-- send earlier if you can.
Good luck everyone!
