Michelle Hauck's Blog, page 40
June 8, 2016
QK 2016 Agent Round 7: MY BOYFRIEND RIGGED THE LOTTERY, YA Contemporary Suspense
Title: Windfall
Nickname: My Boyfriend Rigged The Lottery
Word Count: 83,000
Genre: YA Contemporary Suspense
Query:
In Marina’s culture, dumplings are thought to bring wealth and good fortune to anyone who eats them. But she’s been eating dumplings her whole life and good fortune remains as elusive as a good boyfriend. She’s a Chinese-American piano prodigy with no say in her future, and the pressure to be perfect is crushing her.
When Marina wins the lottery on her eighteenth birthday and her dad inexplicably forbids her from claiming the prize, she feels newly entitled to defy her parents and reject their plans for her life. She turns her back on customs, and everything else she knows, and accepts the money against their wishes.
But Marina’s lottery win comes with strings attached—a role she’s expected to play that was hand-picked just for her, the same way she was hand-picked to win the lottery. If she fails to do her part and the scandal is exposed, those on top will make sure she’s the first casualty. When Marina finds evidence linking her dad to the intrigue, she has no one to turn to but Sean, an edgy guitar player who gets her in a way no one else does. But Sean’s new in town, and his arrival was suspiciously close to the announcement of her lottery win. Now Marina must figure out who to trust and who’s pulling the lottery strings, before her prize turns into a noose.
First 250:
My best friend’s raspberry spritzer sat dangerously close to the edge of the table, a twitch of the elbow away from tumbling to the floor. It was non-alcoholic, of course. The staff at Valer Prep made sure that alcohol was only consumed by parents (preferably ones with fat checkbooks) at the annual fundraising events. The students’ drinks were just fruit juice and club soda.
The parents in the decked-out ballroom were dressed like they’d gotten lost on their way to the Oscars and ended up at our school’s silent auction by mistake. They mingled about, bidding on rounds of golf at exclusive country clubs and dinner cruises around the San Francisco Bay. What they really should have been bidding on were self-help courses like: Connecting with Teens For Dummies, or How to Break Your Workout Addiction in Ten Easy Steps.
I reached over Darya and slid her drink to a less precarious spot in the center of the table. She didn’t even notice—she just kept staring at the phone in her hands.
Okay, I was staring at it too.
“The draw was at six. Why haven’t they posted the numbers yet?” Darya’s eyes were wide, and her dark hair hung in thick waves down her back. She had the tiniest hint of a Spanish accent, but it only came out when she was stressed or upset. Like now.
“Relax, it’s only been five minutes.” Despite my words, I felt anything but relaxed.
Nickname: My Boyfriend Rigged The Lottery
Word Count: 83,000
Genre: YA Contemporary Suspense
Query:
In Marina’s culture, dumplings are thought to bring wealth and good fortune to anyone who eats them. But she’s been eating dumplings her whole life and good fortune remains as elusive as a good boyfriend. She’s a Chinese-American piano prodigy with no say in her future, and the pressure to be perfect is crushing her.
When Marina wins the lottery on her eighteenth birthday and her dad inexplicably forbids her from claiming the prize, she feels newly entitled to defy her parents and reject their plans for her life. She turns her back on customs, and everything else she knows, and accepts the money against their wishes.
But Marina’s lottery win comes with strings attached—a role she’s expected to play that was hand-picked just for her, the same way she was hand-picked to win the lottery. If she fails to do her part and the scandal is exposed, those on top will make sure she’s the first casualty. When Marina finds evidence linking her dad to the intrigue, she has no one to turn to but Sean, an edgy guitar player who gets her in a way no one else does. But Sean’s new in town, and his arrival was suspiciously close to the announcement of her lottery win. Now Marina must figure out who to trust and who’s pulling the lottery strings, before her prize turns into a noose.
First 250:
My best friend’s raspberry spritzer sat dangerously close to the edge of the table, a twitch of the elbow away from tumbling to the floor. It was non-alcoholic, of course. The staff at Valer Prep made sure that alcohol was only consumed by parents (preferably ones with fat checkbooks) at the annual fundraising events. The students’ drinks were just fruit juice and club soda.
The parents in the decked-out ballroom were dressed like they’d gotten lost on their way to the Oscars and ended up at our school’s silent auction by mistake. They mingled about, bidding on rounds of golf at exclusive country clubs and dinner cruises around the San Francisco Bay. What they really should have been bidding on were self-help courses like: Connecting with Teens For Dummies, or How to Break Your Workout Addiction in Ten Easy Steps.
I reached over Darya and slid her drink to a less precarious spot in the center of the table. She didn’t even notice—she just kept staring at the phone in her hands.
Okay, I was staring at it too.
“The draw was at six. Why haven’t they posted the numbers yet?” Darya’s eyes were wide, and her dark hair hung in thick waves down her back. She had the tiniest hint of a Spanish accent, but it only came out when she was stressed or upset. Like now.
“Relax, it’s only been five minutes.” Despite my words, I felt anything but relaxed.
QK 2016 Agent Round 8: SOUTHERN GOTHIC SECRETS, YA Historical, Southern Gothic
Title: JimmerEntry Nickname: Southern Gothic SecretsWord count: 68KGenre: YA Historical/Southern Gothic
Query:
Sixteen-year-old Jimmer Stark passes for white in an intolerant southern town. She aspires to become a nurse and leave the Mississippi backwoods in the summer of 1920, but her father steals her school savings. Guided only by the spirits of her Choctaw ancestors, she must find a way to fund her education. An offer of a fake engagement with a judge’s son and payment for the ruse seems the simple solution until a racist schoolmate’s obsession with her threatens her family due to their black and Choctaw connections. Jimmer must sacrifice a chance at love and contemplate murder to save her sister from a KKK lynching.
Risking everything for her sister’s life will likely end Jimmer’s dream, but the process may free her from the oppression that has gripped her family for generations and help her forge a new life.
First 250 words:
Jimmer lifted her shotgun. Pinkish-white petals fluttered downward in the apple orchard like confetti tossed at a wedding.
A fox squirrel scampered along an apple branch. Carefully, she sighted it and squeezed the trigger. The blast of the shot was followed by a thump.
"Fetch, Little Bit." Her coonhound raced through the tangled underbrush.
"A gal who can hunt like that will catch a fine husband." The thread of pride in Pa's voice was unmistakable. He spat a stream of tobacco juice into the dirt.
Jimmer ignored his praise. Pa'd spent her college money, her hard-earned ten dollars, without a word. He'd swiped it from the jar under her bed and gone to the harness races. Words piled up against her teeth, wanting to break out, but she clenched her jaw shut. Only careful words would keep Pa under control. He hadn't been himself for so long, and she wondered if he ever would be.
"Still mad about that money?" Pa gave her shoulder a rough shake. "Hell, college isn't for you, gal. Focus on your hope chest like your sister Eddie Lee. You ain't ugly. Who knows what beau you'll land?"
She fixed her eyes on the combed over bald spot on Pa's head. He was a little man. She'd passed him in height at twelve years old and now, at sixteen, towered over him.
"I'm not Eddie Lee."
"Not by half. Now, run that squirrel home for your grandmother to stew.”
Query:
Sixteen-year-old Jimmer Stark passes for white in an intolerant southern town. She aspires to become a nurse and leave the Mississippi backwoods in the summer of 1920, but her father steals her school savings. Guided only by the spirits of her Choctaw ancestors, she must find a way to fund her education. An offer of a fake engagement with a judge’s son and payment for the ruse seems the simple solution until a racist schoolmate’s obsession with her threatens her family due to their black and Choctaw connections. Jimmer must sacrifice a chance at love and contemplate murder to save her sister from a KKK lynching.
Risking everything for her sister’s life will likely end Jimmer’s dream, but the process may free her from the oppression that has gripped her family for generations and help her forge a new life.
First 250 words:
Jimmer lifted her shotgun. Pinkish-white petals fluttered downward in the apple orchard like confetti tossed at a wedding.
A fox squirrel scampered along an apple branch. Carefully, she sighted it and squeezed the trigger. The blast of the shot was followed by a thump.
"Fetch, Little Bit." Her coonhound raced through the tangled underbrush.
"A gal who can hunt like that will catch a fine husband." The thread of pride in Pa's voice was unmistakable. He spat a stream of tobacco juice into the dirt.
Jimmer ignored his praise. Pa'd spent her college money, her hard-earned ten dollars, without a word. He'd swiped it from the jar under her bed and gone to the harness races. Words piled up against her teeth, wanting to break out, but she clenched her jaw shut. Only careful words would keep Pa under control. He hadn't been himself for so long, and she wondered if he ever would be.
"Still mad about that money?" Pa gave her shoulder a rough shake. "Hell, college isn't for you, gal. Focus on your hope chest like your sister Eddie Lee. You ain't ugly. Who knows what beau you'll land?"
She fixed her eyes on the combed over bald spot on Pa's head. He was a little man. She'd passed him in height at twelve years old and now, at sixteen, towered over him.
"I'm not Eddie Lee."
"Not by half. Now, run that squirrel home for your grandmother to stew.”
QK 2016 Agent Round 9: JELLO POEMS, MG Humor
Title: The Henchmen Company
Entry Nickname: Jello Poems
Word Count: 37,500
Genre: MG Humor
Query:
Nobody would dare call Gordo Vanderhough a baboon-faced dorkisaur.
Towering over even the adults at Taft Elementary and the only 6th grader with a 5 o’clock shadow, Gordo is known for toppling kids in the lunch line like dominoes (Ga-pow!) and stealing entire trays of Jello (because he only loves two things in life: Jello and poetry). But nobody ever calls him a dorkisaur because nobody really talks to him at all.
One day a man not only talks to Gordo, but actually compliments him and invites him to join the Henchman Company. Gordo, though the youngest henchman, is a natural at all of it: giving evil glares, maniacal laughter, trash talking, throwing large kitchen appliances, and not thinking too much. He’s thrilled about his first job until he figures out that his boss is an evil mastermind trying to hook the internet up to his own brain. If successful he will be able to control a secret government robot army and a flying spaceship the size of a city. This creepoid is going to bully his way to world domination. Suddenly, Gordo questions his career path.
When the other henchmen get wind of his change of heart, Gordo finds out what it feels like to be the one being bullied. With total human annihilation on the line (and the fate of all gelatin desserts), Gordo decides to use his size and skills for good. This villain is about to get Gordoed.
First 250:
Gordo Vanderhough lumbered into the cafeteria past dozens of other hungry kids. He headed straight for the front of the line but no one called out, “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” No one chided, “You can’t do that.” And nobody even thought of saying, “Get to the back of line, you baboon-faced dorkisaur or I’ll kick you in the teeth.”
They didn’t say the last line for several reasons. One reason was that no one at Taft Elementary could kick high enough to reach Gordo’s teeth. It would require an amazing jump, a ladder, or a trampoline. Maybe even all three. But the most important reason was that no one dared say anything remotely threatening to Gordo Vanderhough.
Gordo was officially the hugest kid at Taft Elementary. In fact, he was the largest person—period. Though he was a sixth grader, he towered over the teachers. He was also as wide as a buffalo—the big kind with burly shoulders and a mop of dirty fur on its head. Plus, if you looked really close, Gordo’s chin had the stubbly beginnings of a beard. His nanny told him to shave every other day, but she only spoke Polish so he couldn’t understand a word she said. To him, it sounded like she was telling him to sing songs about shampooing zebras. And that didn’t make any sense. Needless to say, Gordo didn’t shave, or sing songs, or shampoo zebras.
Entry Nickname: Jello Poems
Word Count: 37,500
Genre: MG Humor
Query:
Nobody would dare call Gordo Vanderhough a baboon-faced dorkisaur.
Towering over even the adults at Taft Elementary and the only 6th grader with a 5 o’clock shadow, Gordo is known for toppling kids in the lunch line like dominoes (Ga-pow!) and stealing entire trays of Jello (because he only loves two things in life: Jello and poetry). But nobody ever calls him a dorkisaur because nobody really talks to him at all.
One day a man not only talks to Gordo, but actually compliments him and invites him to join the Henchman Company. Gordo, though the youngest henchman, is a natural at all of it: giving evil glares, maniacal laughter, trash talking, throwing large kitchen appliances, and not thinking too much. He’s thrilled about his first job until he figures out that his boss is an evil mastermind trying to hook the internet up to his own brain. If successful he will be able to control a secret government robot army and a flying spaceship the size of a city. This creepoid is going to bully his way to world domination. Suddenly, Gordo questions his career path.
When the other henchmen get wind of his change of heart, Gordo finds out what it feels like to be the one being bullied. With total human annihilation on the line (and the fate of all gelatin desserts), Gordo decides to use his size and skills for good. This villain is about to get Gordoed.
First 250:
Gordo Vanderhough lumbered into the cafeteria past dozens of other hungry kids. He headed straight for the front of the line but no one called out, “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” No one chided, “You can’t do that.” And nobody even thought of saying, “Get to the back of line, you baboon-faced dorkisaur or I’ll kick you in the teeth.”
They didn’t say the last line for several reasons. One reason was that no one at Taft Elementary could kick high enough to reach Gordo’s teeth. It would require an amazing jump, a ladder, or a trampoline. Maybe even all three. But the most important reason was that no one dared say anything remotely threatening to Gordo Vanderhough.
Gordo was officially the hugest kid at Taft Elementary. In fact, he was the largest person—period. Though he was a sixth grader, he towered over the teachers. He was also as wide as a buffalo—the big kind with burly shoulders and a mop of dirty fur on its head. Plus, if you looked really close, Gordo’s chin had the stubbly beginnings of a beard. His nanny told him to shave every other day, but she only spoke Polish so he couldn’t understand a word she said. To him, it sounded like she was telling him to sing songs about shampooing zebras. And that didn’t make any sense. Needless to say, Gordo didn’t shave, or sing songs, or shampoo zebras.
June 7, 2016
Getting the Submission Call with Laura Heffernan
Here is the very definition of publishing isn't easy. That more heartbreak and worry goes on after the agent call. When my close friend Laura Heffernan got her good news after all her struggles, I couldn't have felt more joyful. The road goes ever on, my friends, but sometimes you win. Enjoy!
In 2014, I was chosen as a contestant for Michelle’s Query Kombat team. I made it through the agent round, then took a beating in Round 2. Less than a month later, I had an agent. More importantly, I became good friends and CPs with the author I was matched against in Round 1. In 2015, I was asked back to the contest as a judge, and now I’m hosting. My CP and I have book deals with the same editor. How’s that for a Query Kombat success story?
A lot of people have these amazing submission stories about how it flew by, or they got an offer basically overnight, or got multiple offers in a matter of weeks, sold at auction - this is not one of those stories. My story took a L-O-N-G time.
In the beginning, submission was really easy. My husband had recently gotten a new job, and we’d already been working with a realtor, so I started scheduling a few extra viewings to keep my mind off things, and then - BAM! We found our dream house. A whirlwind of activity followed, and next thing I knew, my book had been on sub two months and I barely felt a thing. (I want to be very clear that this house-buying was not related to going on sub. It was just a bit of lucky timing. Don’t go buy a house the minute your agent sends out your manuscript, assuming you’ll get a six-figure advance to pay for it.)
Unfortunately, I couldn’t just keep buying new houses, and submission takes longer than about 2-3 months. Much longer, in fact. It hit me one day when I looked at the calendar after unpacking, saw how long I’d been on submission, and realized we hadn’t heard a peep from any of the editors who had it yet. Friends who’d gone out after me had contracts already, why weren’t we getting responses? In early 2015, my agent stepped down and I transferred within the agency. My new agent and I wound up doing another round of edits, and so my manuscript wasn’t even out at all for several months before the second round started. But at that point, I already had the emotional state of someone on sub for 8 months.
People always said to try not to think about it, and I knew from experience that was true, but the longer it went on–and the more friends I saw getting contracts–the more difficult that became. I hit a point where I was basically thinking about submission all the time. And I WAS busy: I mentored, hosted, or read slush in every contest I could find (in some contests, I did more than one of those things). I wound up doing Nestpitch and PitchSlam at the same time (this was confusing and not a good idea). I accepted an internship, reading an average of 2 manuscripts a week on top of everything else. All while writing and CPing and going to the gym 3-5 times a week and having a full time job and spending time with my husband sometimes. And I STILL THOUGHT ABOUT SUB EVERY WAKING SECOND.
There was this running commentary in the back of my mind, at all times, narrating what would happen if I got The Call at that very moment. It was like having the MoviePhone guy in my head. (I’m old. Do people remember the MoviePhone guy?)• "It was an ordinary day. I'd just gone to the gym and, for some reason, I'd forgotten to turn my phone back on after...."• "In a world where every second counts...."• "There I was, at the bank, when the robbers came in. They waved guns, forcing everyone to the ground. The other customers and I looked around, nervously. Would police save us? Or were we all doomed? And at that moment, my phone rang…."
People say to work on something new while you wait. That’s good advice, to a point. However, I write fast. Publishing moves slowly. Before my first manuscript even went out on submission, I’d finished a second. A year after my book initially went out, I had four more written and polished manuscripts, a fifth rough draft I chose not to edit, and a sixth manuscript started that I had very little motivation to work on. When someone told me to write something new, I wanted to scream at them. Sometimes, I did. (Sorry. Sort of.)
In January 2016, my agent agreed that a later manuscript was nearly ready to go. So, we agreed to stop sending the first manuscript to new editors and get the second prepared for submission. I was devastated, but at some point, you have to cut your losses and move on. So, I gave myself some time to mourn, and then I refocused my energy on the second manuscript.
….and then, almost a month after we decided to move on, before the second book had gone out, I got an email from my agent that we’d gotten an offer on the first manuscript. The one I’d completely given up on and cried about. I double checked the date, but it wasn’t April 1. And then I jumped up and down and screamed a lot. And then I replied to my agent, and she said she wanted to set up a call to talk to an editor about some revisions to see if we were on the same page. It’s good that we talked via online chat, because honestly, I had to go back and read that conversation like 11 times to be sure it really happened. But it did! Seventeen months after the first submission was sent, after multiple submissions by two different agents, I had an offer of publication from an editor I’d been really hoping to work with.
I’m ecstatic to announce that REALITY STAR will be published by Kensington’s Lyrical Press in March 2017, with two sequels to follow.
Links:WebsiteGoodreadsTwitterFacebook
Laura Heffernan is living proof that watching too much TV can pay off: REALITY STAR, the first book in the REALITY STAR series, is coming from Kensington’s Lyrical Press in March 2017. When not watching total strangers participate in arranged marriages, drag racing queens, or cooking competitions, Laura enjoys travel, baking, board games, helping with writing contests, and seeking new experiences. She is represented by Michelle Richter at Fuse Literary.
In 2014, I was chosen as a contestant for Michelle’s Query Kombat team. I made it through the agent round, then took a beating in Round 2. Less than a month later, I had an agent. More importantly, I became good friends and CPs with the author I was matched against in Round 1. In 2015, I was asked back to the contest as a judge, and now I’m hosting. My CP and I have book deals with the same editor. How’s that for a Query Kombat success story?
A lot of people have these amazing submission stories about how it flew by, or they got an offer basically overnight, or got multiple offers in a matter of weeks, sold at auction - this is not one of those stories. My story took a L-O-N-G time.
In the beginning, submission was really easy. My husband had recently gotten a new job, and we’d already been working with a realtor, so I started scheduling a few extra viewings to keep my mind off things, and then - BAM! We found our dream house. A whirlwind of activity followed, and next thing I knew, my book had been on sub two months and I barely felt a thing. (I want to be very clear that this house-buying was not related to going on sub. It was just a bit of lucky timing. Don’t go buy a house the minute your agent sends out your manuscript, assuming you’ll get a six-figure advance to pay for it.)
Unfortunately, I couldn’t just keep buying new houses, and submission takes longer than about 2-3 months. Much longer, in fact. It hit me one day when I looked at the calendar after unpacking, saw how long I’d been on submission, and realized we hadn’t heard a peep from any of the editors who had it yet. Friends who’d gone out after me had contracts already, why weren’t we getting responses? In early 2015, my agent stepped down and I transferred within the agency. My new agent and I wound up doing another round of edits, and so my manuscript wasn’t even out at all for several months before the second round started. But at that point, I already had the emotional state of someone on sub for 8 months.
People always said to try not to think about it, and I knew from experience that was true, but the longer it went on–and the more friends I saw getting contracts–the more difficult that became. I hit a point where I was basically thinking about submission all the time. And I WAS busy: I mentored, hosted, or read slush in every contest I could find (in some contests, I did more than one of those things). I wound up doing Nestpitch and PitchSlam at the same time (this was confusing and not a good idea). I accepted an internship, reading an average of 2 manuscripts a week on top of everything else. All while writing and CPing and going to the gym 3-5 times a week and having a full time job and spending time with my husband sometimes. And I STILL THOUGHT ABOUT SUB EVERY WAKING SECOND.
There was this running commentary in the back of my mind, at all times, narrating what would happen if I got The Call at that very moment. It was like having the MoviePhone guy in my head. (I’m old. Do people remember the MoviePhone guy?)• "It was an ordinary day. I'd just gone to the gym and, for some reason, I'd forgotten to turn my phone back on after...."• "In a world where every second counts...."• "There I was, at the bank, when the robbers came in. They waved guns, forcing everyone to the ground. The other customers and I looked around, nervously. Would police save us? Or were we all doomed? And at that moment, my phone rang…."
People say to work on something new while you wait. That’s good advice, to a point. However, I write fast. Publishing moves slowly. Before my first manuscript even went out on submission, I’d finished a second. A year after my book initially went out, I had four more written and polished manuscripts, a fifth rough draft I chose not to edit, and a sixth manuscript started that I had very little motivation to work on. When someone told me to write something new, I wanted to scream at them. Sometimes, I did. (Sorry. Sort of.)
In January 2016, my agent agreed that a later manuscript was nearly ready to go. So, we agreed to stop sending the first manuscript to new editors and get the second prepared for submission. I was devastated, but at some point, you have to cut your losses and move on. So, I gave myself some time to mourn, and then I refocused my energy on the second manuscript.
….and then, almost a month after we decided to move on, before the second book had gone out, I got an email from my agent that we’d gotten an offer on the first manuscript. The one I’d completely given up on and cried about. I double checked the date, but it wasn’t April 1. And then I jumped up and down and screamed a lot. And then I replied to my agent, and she said she wanted to set up a call to talk to an editor about some revisions to see if we were on the same page. It’s good that we talked via online chat, because honestly, I had to go back and read that conversation like 11 times to be sure it really happened. But it did! Seventeen months after the first submission was sent, after multiple submissions by two different agents, I had an offer of publication from an editor I’d been really hoping to work with.
I’m ecstatic to announce that REALITY STAR will be published by Kensington’s Lyrical Press in March 2017, with two sequels to follow.
Links:WebsiteGoodreadsTwitterFacebook
Laura Heffernan is living proof that watching too much TV can pay off: REALITY STAR, the first book in the REALITY STAR series, is coming from Kensington’s Lyrical Press in March 2017. When not watching total strangers participate in arranged marriages, drag racing queens, or cooking competitions, Laura enjoys travel, baking, board games, helping with writing contests, and seeking new experiences. She is represented by Michelle Richter at Fuse Literary.
June 6, 2016
Query Kombat 2016 Round 1 Roundup
Well, Round 1 of this crazy contest officially ended Saturday night. We promised blood, and blood there was. Also tears, nail-biting, and some hair-pulling. Congratulations to all of you who fought hard and came out victorious.
Please have your revised entries to us by Monday, June 6th at 6 pm EST. Use the same format and send to the contest email: QueryKombat (at) gmail (dot) com.
A full 32 entries out of the 64 lost in a valiant fight - you should have seen us hosts and the judges freak out about how hard it was to choose.
For those 32: Good job. You beat out 300 other entries to make the first round, and you gave the judges a hell of a job. Hopefully you got some amazing feedback as well.
For the 32 winners, CONGRATULATIONS! YOU GET TO GO ON TO THE AGENT ROUND ON Wednesday morning.
Below is the list of those who will go on to the next round. Let me know if we made any mistakes! Team Happy Dance is in orange.
Madam Butterfly
Ivy League Sex Scandal
Croissants Kill!
Irish in America
What's Luck Got to Do with It
Cuddles and Coup
Samba and Surrender
The Ghost and Ms. Clair
Black Holes
And I Feel Fine
Human Kind is Basically Screwed
Play Chess Not Checkers
Jello Poems
One-Handed Wonder
Mustache Head
Humanimal
Partners-In-Magic
Ice Cream Rebel Rousers
The Order of Black
Don't Eat Me
To Be a Man
Ticket to Ride
Escape the Fate
Hot Sauce is Bad for Wound Care
Crytopolis
Cement Gargling 101
These Little Earthquakes
Meet Me at Lake Nevaeh
Like Atlantis, Only Totally Creepy
You Had Me At Salty Fries
My BoyFriend Rigged the Lottery
Southern Gothic Secrets
CONGRATS! Of course, we still have....
The Host Saves
These are three entries that we hosts picked from our teams to move on to the agent round but not on to Round 2. Check out Laura's and Mike's picks as well. The Host Saves can submit a revised entry and will go to the agent round, but not to the second combat round.
I spent most of the day Sunday trying to decide which entry to save. Should I go by: What I'd like to read? The most marketable? Most diverse? Closest vote? The one I thought agents would like the most? It's incredibly hard letting people down and disappointing.
At the end of the day, I wish I could save you all. But I wound up having to pick:
Definitely Not About Donald Drumpf
Congrats everyone! Can't wait to see you all at the agent round!
June 5, 2016
Talented Bargains in SFF
I just finished reading a series of novellas that I have to gush about. The Los Nefilim series is truly an undiscovered gem. Beautiful writing, deep world building, and engaging characters all in a fantastic story. And the main characters are in a long-term, committed LGBT relationship set in 1930's Spain, giving the books so much diversity. Everyone who wants to support diversity in SFF should flock to these fast-paced reads.
The fate of mankind has nothing to do with mankind…Born of an angel and a daimon, Diago Alvarez is a singular being in a country torn by a looming civil war and the spiritual struggle between the forces of angels and daimons. With allegiance to no one but his partner Miquel, he is content to simply live in Barcelona, caring only for the man he loves and the music he makes. Yet, neither side is satisfied to let him lead this domesticated life and, knowing they can't get to him directly, they do the one thing he's always feared.They go after Miquel.Now, in order to save his lover's life, he is forced by an angel to perform a gruesome task: feed a child to the daimon Moloch in exchange for a coin that will limit the extent of the world's next war. The mission is fraught with danger, the time he has to accomplish it is limited…and the child he is to sacrifice is the son Diago never knew existed.A lyrical tale in a world of music and magic, T. Frohock's In Midnight's Silence shows the lengths a man will go to save the people he loves, and the sides he'll choose when the sidelines are no longer an option.
Fast-paced is the word. As novellas there's none of that slow middle part with waiting for the action to develop and get underway. All three books fly from the first chapter. And each book builds upon the next, filling in more to the world, enlarging on the characters.
I usually roll my eyes for books about angels and demons, but there is nothing cliche about this series. They are rich with Spanish influence. Though they are supernatural beings, it's more about Diago's all too human choices.
The fate of mankind has nothing to do with mankind…Always holding themselves aloft from the affairs of mortals, Los Nefilim have thrived for eons. But with the Spanish Civil War looming, their fragile independence is shaken by the machinations of angels and daimons…and a half-breed caught in-between.For although Diago Alvarez has pledged his loyalty to Los Nefilim, there are many who don't trust his daimonic blood. And with the re-emergence of his father—a Nefil who sold his soul to a daimon—the fear is Diago will soon follow the same path.Yet even as Diago tries to prove his allegiance, events conspire that only fuel the other Nefilim's suspicions—including the fact that every mortal Diago has known in Barcelona is being brutally murdered.The second novella in T. Frohock's Los Nefilim series, Without Light or Guide continues Diago's journey through a world he was born into, yet doesn't quite understand.
I flew through all three books in just a few days. And for someone on a budget, the price is amazing. Less than a dollar for each piece of the story. You can immerse yourself in a SFF world that makes you wish you were there for less than the cost of a visit to McDonald's.
My only regret is there isn't more when I finished The Second Death. YET! I really recommend this series.
The final chapter in T. Frohock’s haunting and lyrical Los Nefilim novella trilogy--following In Midnight's Silence and Without Light or Guide--which bestselling author Mark Lawrence has called “a joy to read.”
Save the world, or save his family…For Diago Alvarez, that’s the choice before him. For unless he wants to see his son Rafael die, he must do the unthinkable:Help the Nazis receive the plans to the ultimate weapon.And while Diago grows more comfortable not only with his heritage, but also with his place among Guillermo’s Los Nefilim, he is still unsure if he truly belongs amongst them.In a frantic race to save the future of humanity, Diago is forced to rely on his daimonic nature to deceive an angel. In doing so, he discovers the birth of a modern god—one that will bring about a new world order from which no one can escape.In Midnight's Silence|Without Light or Guide|The Second Death
T. Frohock has turned her love of dark fantasy and horror into tales of deliciously creepy fiction. She currently lives in North Carolina where she has long been accused of telling stories, which is a southern colloquialism for lying. Check out more of her works and news at www.tfrohock.com.
The fate of mankind has nothing to do with mankind…Born of an angel and a daimon, Diago Alvarez is a singular being in a country torn by a looming civil war and the spiritual struggle between the forces of angels and daimons. With allegiance to no one but his partner Miquel, he is content to simply live in Barcelona, caring only for the man he loves and the music he makes. Yet, neither side is satisfied to let him lead this domesticated life and, knowing they can't get to him directly, they do the one thing he's always feared.They go after Miquel.Now, in order to save his lover's life, he is forced by an angel to perform a gruesome task: feed a child to the daimon Moloch in exchange for a coin that will limit the extent of the world's next war. The mission is fraught with danger, the time he has to accomplish it is limited…and the child he is to sacrifice is the son Diago never knew existed.A lyrical tale in a world of music and magic, T. Frohock's In Midnight's Silence shows the lengths a man will go to save the people he loves, and the sides he'll choose when the sidelines are no longer an option.
Fast-paced is the word. As novellas there's none of that slow middle part with waiting for the action to develop and get underway. All three books fly from the first chapter. And each book builds upon the next, filling in more to the world, enlarging on the characters.
I usually roll my eyes for books about angels and demons, but there is nothing cliche about this series. They are rich with Spanish influence. Though they are supernatural beings, it's more about Diago's all too human choices.
The fate of mankind has nothing to do with mankind…Always holding themselves aloft from the affairs of mortals, Los Nefilim have thrived for eons. But with the Spanish Civil War looming, their fragile independence is shaken by the machinations of angels and daimons…and a half-breed caught in-between.For although Diago Alvarez has pledged his loyalty to Los Nefilim, there are many who don't trust his daimonic blood. And with the re-emergence of his father—a Nefil who sold his soul to a daimon—the fear is Diago will soon follow the same path.Yet even as Diago tries to prove his allegiance, events conspire that only fuel the other Nefilim's suspicions—including the fact that every mortal Diago has known in Barcelona is being brutally murdered.The second novella in T. Frohock's Los Nefilim series, Without Light or Guide continues Diago's journey through a world he was born into, yet doesn't quite understand.
I flew through all three books in just a few days. And for someone on a budget, the price is amazing. Less than a dollar for each piece of the story. You can immerse yourself in a SFF world that makes you wish you were there for less than the cost of a visit to McDonald's.
My only regret is there isn't more when I finished The Second Death. YET! I really recommend this series.
The final chapter in T. Frohock’s haunting and lyrical Los Nefilim novella trilogy--following In Midnight's Silence and Without Light or Guide--which bestselling author Mark Lawrence has called “a joy to read.”Save the world, or save his family…For Diago Alvarez, that’s the choice before him. For unless he wants to see his son Rafael die, he must do the unthinkable:Help the Nazis receive the plans to the ultimate weapon.And while Diago grows more comfortable not only with his heritage, but also with his place among Guillermo’s Los Nefilim, he is still unsure if he truly belongs amongst them.In a frantic race to save the future of humanity, Diago is forced to rely on his daimonic nature to deceive an angel. In doing so, he discovers the birth of a modern god—one that will bring about a new world order from which no one can escape.In Midnight's Silence|Without Light or Guide|The Second Death
T. Frohock has turned her love of dark fantasy and horror into tales of deliciously creepy fiction. She currently lives in North Carolina where she has long been accused of telling stories, which is a southern colloquialism for lying. Check out more of her works and news at www.tfrohock.com.
June 1, 2016
Query Kombat 2016 Round 1
Get that thick skin in place because here we go! Round 1
Hop on over to Mike's and Laura's blogs to see the rest of the match-ups and entries! They are spread all over the place. Some here, some there. We've got a little bit of everything: Adult, NA, YA, and MG! This round lasts until June 4th at 8 pm.
On the last day the hosts will call out for extra judges to come and break ties, or in case of extra close votes to try and get a more decisive margin. In the event a tie remains, the blog host will provide the tie breaker.
The entry with the most votes for Victory moves forward to the agent round on June 8th! Kombatants will have a chance to revise at that time.
Winning entries must be revised and returned to the QueryKombat (at) gmail (dot) com email by Monday, June 6th at 5:00 pm Eastern. Follow the exact same format.
Now before we begin:
Read this post again to remind yourselves of the rules and guidelines of commenting and judging. Below I've reposted the main ideas:
Reminders for the Entrants:
You may comment on your own entries ON the last day of the round to offer thanks or congrats. If there is a problem with your entry, shout out to us on twitter as soon as you can. (@Michelle4Laughs) If you don't have a Twitter, you may comment on your entry telling us the mistake.
Also, we tried our hardest to make the match-ups as fair as possible and against as similar stories as possible. But, obviously, this is impossible to do perfectly and some match-ups may seen very random. We apologize for this but it's an evil of the system.
Kombatants should comment on 6 other match-ups to help share the love around! But Kombatants do not cast votes.
Reminders for the Judges:
Wait until after one of us hosts comments on each entry first and reply to that comment to cast your votes. Try making your votes objective instead of subjective (but if you really love an entry subjectively, don't even feel bad about saying it was a subjective vote - subjectivity rules!). Be sure to point out the good as well as what needs work.
Post under your nicknames! If you forget, just delete and repost.
And judges: seriously, thank you for doing this. It's a very tough job and isn't for the faint-hearted.
Reminders for Everyone:
Try not to comment until after one of us hosts have made the first comment, then go ahead and offer your feedback. We ask everyone who entered Query Kombat to leave at least one comment.
NOW THE FUN BEGINS!!! GO GO GO!!! We'll be Tweeting under #QueryKombat!
QK Round 1: Ivy League Sex Scandal vs Chocolate, Wine and Salsa
Title: The Professor and Miss St. James
Entry Nickname: Ivy League Sex ScandalWord Count: 105,000Genre: Contemporary romance/ Women’s fiction
Query:
At 25, all Jocelyn St. James has to show for her life are three homecoming crowns, two blue lines on a stick, and a ton of regret. She’s cutting her losses and heading for Dartmouth. Moving across the country is her only hope of hiding her pregnancy from the baby’s father.
She’s got seven months until her due date. That’s not much time to get a master’s degree or figure out the whole motherhood thing, but she’s got a plan: work hard, live quietly, don’t ruin any more lives.
When her sexy professor locks eyes with her on the first day of class, her plan is the first casualty of his killer smile.
Best-selling author, Michael Kensington is no average academic. The New York Times calls him the second coming of Fitzgerald. He’s brilliant. He’s gorgeous. He could charm the pants off any grad student, including a three-time homecoming queen with a mysterious past.
If Jocelyn doesn’t address the rising heat between them, she won’t have a prayer of focusing on school. But when things get way more intimate than either of them intend, Jocelyn not only falls in love— she kind of falls apart.
If she wants to be part of his future, she’ll need to come to terms with her past. The last thing she wants is to choose between Kensington and her secrets.
But Jocelyn isn’t the only one with a past that won’t stay put.
First 250 Words:
I make him nervous.
Dr. Katherine Moss’s current teaching assistant clears his throat, shuffles some stacks of paper, and clears his throat again. His eye contact falters when he glances across the desk at me.
I close my eyes and roll them behind my lids. Over it.
I grow more nauseated with each tick of the noisy clock. The office reeks of air freshener. To keep from gagging I have to breathe through my nose, but the revolting scent turns breathing into a double-edged sword.
“How long do you think Dr. Moss will be?” I ask, ending our awkward silence.
He looks at me and forms an accidental smile, shy and quick. “I’m sure just a few more minutes.”
I return the smile with as much grace as I can manage. “Tell me your name again.”
“Will.”
“Jocelyn,” I say.
“You’re new to Dartmouth?”
I nod. “Dr. Moss mentioned you were planning to help her put together her curriculum for spring. Her new class?” “Yes.” I’m not in the mood for flirting or sharing my future plans with a stranger, but I don’t want to piss him off either. It’s a delicate balance. Men always are. “What are your languages?” “French and Italian. Some Portuguese,” I say. “Romance, huh?” He doesn’t ask it in a derisive way, but the question somehow manages to dredge up every insecurity I have about whether I deserve to walk the halls of an Ivy League school.
VERSUS
Title: American HoneyEntry Nickname: Chocolate, Wine & Salsa
Word count: 81,000
Genre: Women’s Fiction
Query:
CHOCOLATE, WINE & SALSA, complete at 81,000 words, is women’s fiction weaving together a journey in two timelines about coming-of-age, leaving your past behind, and then recapturing it.
Sandy Jo thought if she didn't escape Texas and her controlling mama after high school, she'd lose her soul. After being dumped by her boyfriend and best friend in New York, at twenty-seven, she's realizing she feels more lost than when she left. Meanwhile, Sandy Jo’s childhood best friend calls and begs her to return to their favorite childhood ranch in Texas, to confront their friend’s mysterious disappearance all those years ago, and the discovery of her body weeks later. Hoping to find herself again, Sandy Jo revisits Texas, and tries to recapture a time when she and her teenage friends lived life and confronted raw sexuality.
However, a surprise visit from Sandy Jo’s estranged mama compels her to address a family secret,and she must find the strength to stand up for herself once and for all. If Sandy Jo is ever going to put back the pieces of her life, she must learn the truth about what happened that summer at the ranch. In the process, she discovers that a broken mother and a lost daughter can find their way to forgiveness, and that a certain cowboy might just be worth a second shot.
First 250:
[1985] One month ago, all of the sky’s hues had washed away and I prayed to find any hint of color to bring me back. I wasn’t the type of person to let a breakup dishevel me like this. But Rich was my New York, he made the city make sense for me. And somewhere in the last few years, I began to think we were going to be that metropolitan couple in Manhattan. Problem was, he didn’t like the New York me, and I was pretty sure the Texas me was long gone.
But I knew that if I went back home to Texas, I’d lose my soul. New York was the promise that I could be anyone, far away from Mama and her rules. People walked with purpose in Manhattan and I wanted to be one of them.
Reaching across the kitchen counter to grab my keys, something flashed and caught my eye. Staring at my answering machine light: blink, blink, blink. I wasn’t sure I wanted to play it. My boss could be canceling the meeting today. It could also be my mama. In that case, maybe I’d wait till after work to listen to it. But then I realized, it could be from Rich…
I sighed; I had to know. Running over to the machine, I pressed the play button.
Then I heard my childhood best friend’s voice from the good ol’ days at the Red Retriever Ranch.
“Sandy Jo, where are you? Call me back STAT.”
Entry Nickname: Ivy League Sex ScandalWord Count: 105,000Genre: Contemporary romance/ Women’s fiction
Query:
At 25, all Jocelyn St. James has to show for her life are three homecoming crowns, two blue lines on a stick, and a ton of regret. She’s cutting her losses and heading for Dartmouth. Moving across the country is her only hope of hiding her pregnancy from the baby’s father.
She’s got seven months until her due date. That’s not much time to get a master’s degree or figure out the whole motherhood thing, but she’s got a plan: work hard, live quietly, don’t ruin any more lives.
When her sexy professor locks eyes with her on the first day of class, her plan is the first casualty of his killer smile.
Best-selling author, Michael Kensington is no average academic. The New York Times calls him the second coming of Fitzgerald. He’s brilliant. He’s gorgeous. He could charm the pants off any grad student, including a three-time homecoming queen with a mysterious past.
If Jocelyn doesn’t address the rising heat between them, she won’t have a prayer of focusing on school. But when things get way more intimate than either of them intend, Jocelyn not only falls in love— she kind of falls apart.
If she wants to be part of his future, she’ll need to come to terms with her past. The last thing she wants is to choose between Kensington and her secrets.
But Jocelyn isn’t the only one with a past that won’t stay put.
First 250 Words:
I make him nervous.
Dr. Katherine Moss’s current teaching assistant clears his throat, shuffles some stacks of paper, and clears his throat again. His eye contact falters when he glances across the desk at me.
I close my eyes and roll them behind my lids. Over it.
I grow more nauseated with each tick of the noisy clock. The office reeks of air freshener. To keep from gagging I have to breathe through my nose, but the revolting scent turns breathing into a double-edged sword.
“How long do you think Dr. Moss will be?” I ask, ending our awkward silence.
He looks at me and forms an accidental smile, shy and quick. “I’m sure just a few more minutes.”
I return the smile with as much grace as I can manage. “Tell me your name again.”
“Will.”
“Jocelyn,” I say.
“You’re new to Dartmouth?”
I nod. “Dr. Moss mentioned you were planning to help her put together her curriculum for spring. Her new class?” “Yes.” I’m not in the mood for flirting or sharing my future plans with a stranger, but I don’t want to piss him off either. It’s a delicate balance. Men always are. “What are your languages?” “French and Italian. Some Portuguese,” I say. “Romance, huh?” He doesn’t ask it in a derisive way, but the question somehow manages to dredge up every insecurity I have about whether I deserve to walk the halls of an Ivy League school.
VERSUS
Title: American HoneyEntry Nickname: Chocolate, Wine & Salsa
Word count: 81,000
Genre: Women’s Fiction
Query:
CHOCOLATE, WINE & SALSA, complete at 81,000 words, is women’s fiction weaving together a journey in two timelines about coming-of-age, leaving your past behind, and then recapturing it.
Sandy Jo thought if she didn't escape Texas and her controlling mama after high school, she'd lose her soul. After being dumped by her boyfriend and best friend in New York, at twenty-seven, she's realizing she feels more lost than when she left. Meanwhile, Sandy Jo’s childhood best friend calls and begs her to return to their favorite childhood ranch in Texas, to confront their friend’s mysterious disappearance all those years ago, and the discovery of her body weeks later. Hoping to find herself again, Sandy Jo revisits Texas, and tries to recapture a time when she and her teenage friends lived life and confronted raw sexuality.
However, a surprise visit from Sandy Jo’s estranged mama compels her to address a family secret,and she must find the strength to stand up for herself once and for all. If Sandy Jo is ever going to put back the pieces of her life, she must learn the truth about what happened that summer at the ranch. In the process, she discovers that a broken mother and a lost daughter can find their way to forgiveness, and that a certain cowboy might just be worth a second shot.
First 250:
[1985] One month ago, all of the sky’s hues had washed away and I prayed to find any hint of color to bring me back. I wasn’t the type of person to let a breakup dishevel me like this. But Rich was my New York, he made the city make sense for me. And somewhere in the last few years, I began to think we were going to be that metropolitan couple in Manhattan. Problem was, he didn’t like the New York me, and I was pretty sure the Texas me was long gone.
But I knew that if I went back home to Texas, I’d lose my soul. New York was the promise that I could be anyone, far away from Mama and her rules. People walked with purpose in Manhattan and I wanted to be one of them.
Reaching across the kitchen counter to grab my keys, something flashed and caught my eye. Staring at my answering machine light: blink, blink, blink. I wasn’t sure I wanted to play it. My boss could be canceling the meeting today. It could also be my mama. In that case, maybe I’d wait till after work to listen to it. But then I realized, it could be from Rich…
I sighed; I had to know. Running over to the machine, I pressed the play button.
Then I heard my childhood best friend’s voice from the good ol’ days at the Red Retriever Ranch.
“Sandy Jo, where are you? Call me back STAT.”
QK Round 1: Madam Butterfly vs. Sit, Stay, Heal
Title: The Absence of ButterfliesEntry Nickname: Madam ButterflyWord count: 80,000Genre: Adult Contemporary Romance
Query:
Will Kavanagh is the only one who knows the truth about the drug overdose that killed Christy Talbot, the world famous actress who starred in the film adaption of his best-selling mystery novel. It’s a truth that has self-loathing and guilt paralyzing him during the day, and images of a lifeless body plaguing his dreams at night.
Burdened with the knowledge that his actions led to the actress’ death, he leaves New York City to seek refuge in his quiet hometown of Cherrington, Ontario. He’s intent on staying at his family’s cottage, but his best laid plans begin to unravel when his mother reveals she’s getting the cottage ready to sell. And the real kicker? The horticulturist she hired to do the landscape work is Jessica Locke – Will’s ex-fiancée.
Given the way their relationship ended, Jessica is the last person Will wants to be around. Jessica, grieving the recent death of her father, feels much the same way about Will, who broke off their engagement to move to the city. However, when Jessica’s eccentric uncle plays matchmaker, the old attraction heats up between them, intense and undeniable. Will discovers that he’s still in love with Jessica, but he’s worried that his involvement in Christy’s death will scare her away; Jessica wants to give Will another chance, but she’s afraid of getting hurt again. With each of them battling ghosts from their pasts, they struggle to navigate a complex mix of emotions that includes love, guilt, regret and doubt. And Will comes to the realization that unless he’s willing to expose his shameful secret in a very public way, he’ll lose Jessica all over again.
First 250:
Will Kavanagh had finally managed to forget about the dead body that had lain sprawled at his feet, but when he caught sight of the display in the bookstore window, the image came tumbling back.
He’d just come out of the coffee shop, headed for his car parked at the curb, when the colorful arrangement of books caught his eye from across the street. His legs seemed to move of their own volition, taking him off the sidewalk and over to the wide store window.
He would have been able to spot those red and gold splashed covers anywhere. Some of the books were stacked in neat towers so that their spines clearly displayed the title, Hunter’s Mark, while others were propped up to showcase the front cover. Bold black letters at the top of each one proclaimed Now a Major Motion Picture. Underneath this was a snapshot of the two main stars. The one on the right gazed back at Will, her full lips drawn into a seductive pout.
As he stood transfixed on the sidewalk, the world around him faded away. He didn’t see Christy Talbot with her arm around her leading man. Instead his mind burned with the image of the actress as she lay dead on the floor, a pill bottle upended next to her. With a hand that shook, he’d brushed aside dark brown hair to reveal an ashen face and empty eyes. Eyes that had haunted him every day for the last two months.
VERSUS
Title: Blue HarmonyEntry Nickname: Sit, Stay, HealWord Count: 80KGenre: Adult Contemporary Romance
Query:
Typical workday? Hardly. Not only does Mandy get laid off, she comes home to find her husband Joe in bed with one of her best friends. As if that weren't enough excitement for one day, she then meets Nick, a cute but slightly awkward guitarist. With her sanity in question and her heart in shreds, she would be wise to forget all about him. She never claimed to be wise. Determined to stay positive while reinventing her career path and plodding through divorce proceedings, she opens Sit & Stay Pet Sitting. Easy as woof-2-3, right? She doesn't count on disappearing dogs, crafty cats and quirky clients. Add to that her chaotic love life: her ex wreaking havoc on her self-esteem while lusty Nick leaves her begging (and panting) for more. If she could just forgive Joe, and herself, things would be so much easier. Her heart needs time to heel, er -- heal, before she commits to a new love, but her head keeps getting in the way. Especially after her ex delivers once last blow that leaves her wondering if she’s even ready to run with the big dogs or if she’s better off stayingon the porch.
First 250:
Nick was not a forgettable kind of guy. I just happened to meet him on one of the worst days of my life.
Pushing a clump of black hair off my husband Joe’s forehead, I bent down to kiss him goodbye, lightly. He had a bad migraine and was staying in bed for a while longer. On his nightstand, I’d left him two Advil after swallowing two myself. My period had rolled into town the night before so I felt kind of cruddy as well but I was more nervous about my big work presentation.
Shuffling into work and up to my desk, expecting a quiet, brainstormy morning of last-minute edits, I run smack into the Grim Reaper. John from Human Resources lurked, arms crossed, blank-faced, against the side of my cubicle. With one monotonal, "Mandy, I need you to come with me,” I knew. I just knew. This was not good.
Dread began pouring from my ears all the way to my toes, and by the time we lumbered into his office, where the proverbial ax fell, my stomach knotted. My throat closed up. I blinked hard at the wall. Barely moving, barely breathing, I nodded my head, pretending to understand. Ten minutes of stunted conversation and an unheard explanation of corporate layoff policy later, I was shuffling once more, out the door, my tail wedged firmly between my legs.
The Executioner had escorted me back to my (former) desk to get all my things. Right past all my co-workers. #humbling.
Query:
Will Kavanagh is the only one who knows the truth about the drug overdose that killed Christy Talbot, the world famous actress who starred in the film adaption of his best-selling mystery novel. It’s a truth that has self-loathing and guilt paralyzing him during the day, and images of a lifeless body plaguing his dreams at night.
Burdened with the knowledge that his actions led to the actress’ death, he leaves New York City to seek refuge in his quiet hometown of Cherrington, Ontario. He’s intent on staying at his family’s cottage, but his best laid plans begin to unravel when his mother reveals she’s getting the cottage ready to sell. And the real kicker? The horticulturist she hired to do the landscape work is Jessica Locke – Will’s ex-fiancée.
Given the way their relationship ended, Jessica is the last person Will wants to be around. Jessica, grieving the recent death of her father, feels much the same way about Will, who broke off their engagement to move to the city. However, when Jessica’s eccentric uncle plays matchmaker, the old attraction heats up between them, intense and undeniable. Will discovers that he’s still in love with Jessica, but he’s worried that his involvement in Christy’s death will scare her away; Jessica wants to give Will another chance, but she’s afraid of getting hurt again. With each of them battling ghosts from their pasts, they struggle to navigate a complex mix of emotions that includes love, guilt, regret and doubt. And Will comes to the realization that unless he’s willing to expose his shameful secret in a very public way, he’ll lose Jessica all over again.
First 250:
Will Kavanagh had finally managed to forget about the dead body that had lain sprawled at his feet, but when he caught sight of the display in the bookstore window, the image came tumbling back.
He’d just come out of the coffee shop, headed for his car parked at the curb, when the colorful arrangement of books caught his eye from across the street. His legs seemed to move of their own volition, taking him off the sidewalk and over to the wide store window.
He would have been able to spot those red and gold splashed covers anywhere. Some of the books were stacked in neat towers so that their spines clearly displayed the title, Hunter’s Mark, while others were propped up to showcase the front cover. Bold black letters at the top of each one proclaimed Now a Major Motion Picture. Underneath this was a snapshot of the two main stars. The one on the right gazed back at Will, her full lips drawn into a seductive pout.
As he stood transfixed on the sidewalk, the world around him faded away. He didn’t see Christy Talbot with her arm around her leading man. Instead his mind burned with the image of the actress as she lay dead on the floor, a pill bottle upended next to her. With a hand that shook, he’d brushed aside dark brown hair to reveal an ashen face and empty eyes. Eyes that had haunted him every day for the last two months.
VERSUS
Title: Blue HarmonyEntry Nickname: Sit, Stay, HealWord Count: 80KGenre: Adult Contemporary Romance
Query:
Typical workday? Hardly. Not only does Mandy get laid off, she comes home to find her husband Joe in bed with one of her best friends. As if that weren't enough excitement for one day, she then meets Nick, a cute but slightly awkward guitarist. With her sanity in question and her heart in shreds, she would be wise to forget all about him. She never claimed to be wise. Determined to stay positive while reinventing her career path and plodding through divorce proceedings, she opens Sit & Stay Pet Sitting. Easy as woof-2-3, right? She doesn't count on disappearing dogs, crafty cats and quirky clients. Add to that her chaotic love life: her ex wreaking havoc on her self-esteem while lusty Nick leaves her begging (and panting) for more. If she could just forgive Joe, and herself, things would be so much easier. Her heart needs time to heel, er -- heal, before she commits to a new love, but her head keeps getting in the way. Especially after her ex delivers once last blow that leaves her wondering if she’s even ready to run with the big dogs or if she’s better off stayingon the porch.
First 250:
Nick was not a forgettable kind of guy. I just happened to meet him on one of the worst days of my life.
Pushing a clump of black hair off my husband Joe’s forehead, I bent down to kiss him goodbye, lightly. He had a bad migraine and was staying in bed for a while longer. On his nightstand, I’d left him two Advil after swallowing two myself. My period had rolled into town the night before so I felt kind of cruddy as well but I was more nervous about my big work presentation.
Shuffling into work and up to my desk, expecting a quiet, brainstormy morning of last-minute edits, I run smack into the Grim Reaper. John from Human Resources lurked, arms crossed, blank-faced, against the side of my cubicle. With one monotonal, "Mandy, I need you to come with me,” I knew. I just knew. This was not good.
Dread began pouring from my ears all the way to my toes, and by the time we lumbered into his office, where the proverbial ax fell, my stomach knotted. My throat closed up. I blinked hard at the wall. Barely moving, barely breathing, I nodded my head, pretending to understand. Ten minutes of stunted conversation and an unheard explanation of corporate layoff policy later, I was shuffling once more, out the door, my tail wedged firmly between my legs.
The Executioner had escorted me back to my (former) desk to get all my things. Right past all my co-workers. #humbling.
QK Round 1: If the Shrew Fits vs. Irish in America
Title: Finding Kate
Entry Nickname: If The Shrew Fits
Word Count: 86,000
Genre: Adult Historical
Query:For years, Kathryn's sharp words and belligerent deeds have been her defenses in her war against an unjust world. Oh yes, this shrew has her reasons. Not even the large dowry offered by her wealthy father can tempt any man to court her and risk a tongue-lashing or a scratched face... until the day Sir William arrives in town. From the moment he blocks her escape from tedious lessons, their every exchange is a battle of wits, every word loaded with double meaning. He won't even use her own name, calling her Kate from the very first. He insists that he is the only man, the only husband, for her.
In that summer of 1485, everyone knows that a fellow named Henry Tudor awaits his opportunity to overthrow King Richard III. After a generation and more of civil wars, people have learned to keep their political leanings to themselves, and those who wish to rise in the world have become adept at saying one thing and meaning something else. So how can Sir William, just returned from the court of King Richard III, be trusted?
Sir William's courtship feels like farce—like some comic Romeo, he stages a midnight visit to her window that sets every dog in town howling—but when they are apart, she listens for his knock at the door, his voice in the hall below. She marries him, if only to escape her family's mistreatment, but she remains convinced he is only after her father’s gold.
Her new situation is hardly better, however, as Sir William's behavior is increasingly maddening. On unfamiliar ground for the first time in her life, Kathryn is unsure what to believe: is he cruel? Is he “taming” her spirit, trying to make her an obedient wife? Or is there something else at play? Their war of wills rages; advances are made and lost. But unless she can let go of Kathryn and be Kate, she will remain a victim of her past, nursing her battle scars, unable to give or accept love. First 250 WordsThe first glimpse Kathryn ever saw of Sir William was his horse.
She had already pulled in her breath against the thick blanket of odor that always hovered near the manure piles behind of the Brewers’ inn. After years of trudging the same cobbled street from her home to the town square and back again, she did it without thinking. Her eyes were cast down, watching her shadow where it stretched out thin before her, tripping on the heels of her father and younger sister. The two of them walked arm in arm, their golden heads close together, whispering—about what, she could not tell, which suited her well enough. Five long paces holding her breath was all that was necessary, and then she would be past the inn and in the village square, and from there the church was only a few strides across the lush green…
A smear of dull color on the corner of her vision made her turn her head. Two men were leading an enormous blood red horse out of the gaping stable door and into the pounded dirt of the yard behind the inn. Kathryn halted and her breath rushed out of her in astonishment. The beast was the approximate size and color of St. George’s dragon, or so it seemed to her, and it moved with the same sinuous, menacing grace. When it snorted, she jumped, half expecting gouts of flame to burst forth.
VERSUS
Title: Donovan
Entry Nickname: Irish in America
Word Count: 100,000
Genre: Adult Historical Romance
Query:
When Jesse Travers' father and brother die, they leave her with two things: a crumbling ranch and a deep well of distrust.
Shunned by the village for her outlaw brother's deeds, Jesse is not sorry to hear he's been killed while robbing a bank. Strangely enough it is Adam Donovan, the man who shot her brother, who brings her the news. Even more strange is the Irish immigrant's willingness to help her bring her ranch back to prosperity.
The Arizona Territory would not be kind to a woman alone, and Jesse's experiences with her neighbors have left her jaded. But her love for her canyon home overcomes her trepidation, and she accepts Donovan's help. He is gentle and empathetic, a far cry from her brother, whose relentless abuse drove her to the brink of despair, or her father, who would never believe the things Jesse told him about her brother.
As they work together, Jesse begins to trust Donovan, and feels the first stirrings of love–an experience she's never known before. Then, as if to tell her she is unworthy of happiness, her past rises up with a vengeance, and she faces a terrible choice: retreat to a life of solitude and shame, or or trust a man she hardly knows with the secrets of her tragic past.
First 250:
Jesse Travers stood in the cabin door, trying to stem the tide of rising temper. The old man who sat wrapped in a blanket by the fire had been more querulous than usual. He can’t help it, she told herself, any more than he can help being old. Or crippled. But God help us if this day doesn’t end soon.
The clearing where the cabin stood was too quiet. No breeze stirred the aspen leaves. No birds trilled, no squirrels scampered. Even the brook ran silently today.
The only restful thing was the occasional glimpse of buckskin in the sycamores. The old man had told her that always animals knew where there was danger and would run away. So maybe it’s nothing–maybe it’s just too hot for April. Maybe that’s what makes me feel so sick.
Then into the utter silence came the faint clip-clop of a horse’s hooves.
No one should be coming. No one ever came. She tasted the sharp metal of fear. As the hoofbeats came closer, she took up an old Sharps rifle and moved out onto the sagging porch, into the shadows of its roof.
Round the edge of the cottonwood grove, the horse came into sight. Its rider had dark hair, dark clothes, a dark gun sitting low on his left hip. There isn’t anyone in the Territory who doesn’t know who he is. And where he comes from. Squaring her shoulders and raising the rifle, she took a single step into the light.
Entry Nickname: If The Shrew Fits
Word Count: 86,000
Genre: Adult Historical
Query:For years, Kathryn's sharp words and belligerent deeds have been her defenses in her war against an unjust world. Oh yes, this shrew has her reasons. Not even the large dowry offered by her wealthy father can tempt any man to court her and risk a tongue-lashing or a scratched face... until the day Sir William arrives in town. From the moment he blocks her escape from tedious lessons, their every exchange is a battle of wits, every word loaded with double meaning. He won't even use her own name, calling her Kate from the very first. He insists that he is the only man, the only husband, for her.
In that summer of 1485, everyone knows that a fellow named Henry Tudor awaits his opportunity to overthrow King Richard III. After a generation and more of civil wars, people have learned to keep their political leanings to themselves, and those who wish to rise in the world have become adept at saying one thing and meaning something else. So how can Sir William, just returned from the court of King Richard III, be trusted?
Sir William's courtship feels like farce—like some comic Romeo, he stages a midnight visit to her window that sets every dog in town howling—but when they are apart, she listens for his knock at the door, his voice in the hall below. She marries him, if only to escape her family's mistreatment, but she remains convinced he is only after her father’s gold.
Her new situation is hardly better, however, as Sir William's behavior is increasingly maddening. On unfamiliar ground for the first time in her life, Kathryn is unsure what to believe: is he cruel? Is he “taming” her spirit, trying to make her an obedient wife? Or is there something else at play? Their war of wills rages; advances are made and lost. But unless she can let go of Kathryn and be Kate, she will remain a victim of her past, nursing her battle scars, unable to give or accept love. First 250 WordsThe first glimpse Kathryn ever saw of Sir William was his horse.
She had already pulled in her breath against the thick blanket of odor that always hovered near the manure piles behind of the Brewers’ inn. After years of trudging the same cobbled street from her home to the town square and back again, she did it without thinking. Her eyes were cast down, watching her shadow where it stretched out thin before her, tripping on the heels of her father and younger sister. The two of them walked arm in arm, their golden heads close together, whispering—about what, she could not tell, which suited her well enough. Five long paces holding her breath was all that was necessary, and then she would be past the inn and in the village square, and from there the church was only a few strides across the lush green…
A smear of dull color on the corner of her vision made her turn her head. Two men were leading an enormous blood red horse out of the gaping stable door and into the pounded dirt of the yard behind the inn. Kathryn halted and her breath rushed out of her in astonishment. The beast was the approximate size and color of St. George’s dragon, or so it seemed to her, and it moved with the same sinuous, menacing grace. When it snorted, she jumped, half expecting gouts of flame to burst forth.
VERSUS
Title: Donovan
Entry Nickname: Irish in America
Word Count: 100,000
Genre: Adult Historical Romance
Query:
When Jesse Travers' father and brother die, they leave her with two things: a crumbling ranch and a deep well of distrust.
Shunned by the village for her outlaw brother's deeds, Jesse is not sorry to hear he's been killed while robbing a bank. Strangely enough it is Adam Donovan, the man who shot her brother, who brings her the news. Even more strange is the Irish immigrant's willingness to help her bring her ranch back to prosperity.
The Arizona Territory would not be kind to a woman alone, and Jesse's experiences with her neighbors have left her jaded. But her love for her canyon home overcomes her trepidation, and she accepts Donovan's help. He is gentle and empathetic, a far cry from her brother, whose relentless abuse drove her to the brink of despair, or her father, who would never believe the things Jesse told him about her brother.
As they work together, Jesse begins to trust Donovan, and feels the first stirrings of love–an experience she's never known before. Then, as if to tell her she is unworthy of happiness, her past rises up with a vengeance, and she faces a terrible choice: retreat to a life of solitude and shame, or or trust a man she hardly knows with the secrets of her tragic past.
First 250:
Jesse Travers stood in the cabin door, trying to stem the tide of rising temper. The old man who sat wrapped in a blanket by the fire had been more querulous than usual. He can’t help it, she told herself, any more than he can help being old. Or crippled. But God help us if this day doesn’t end soon.
The clearing where the cabin stood was too quiet. No breeze stirred the aspen leaves. No birds trilled, no squirrels scampered. Even the brook ran silently today.
The only restful thing was the occasional glimpse of buckskin in the sycamores. The old man had told her that always animals knew where there was danger and would run away. So maybe it’s nothing–maybe it’s just too hot for April. Maybe that’s what makes me feel so sick.
Then into the utter silence came the faint clip-clop of a horse’s hooves.
No one should be coming. No one ever came. She tasted the sharp metal of fear. As the hoofbeats came closer, she took up an old Sharps rifle and moved out onto the sagging porch, into the shadows of its roof.
Round the edge of the cottonwood grove, the horse came into sight. Its rider had dark hair, dark clothes, a dark gun sitting low on his left hip. There isn’t anyone in the Territory who doesn’t know who he is. And where he comes from. Squaring her shoulders and raising the rifle, she took a single step into the light.
