Michelle Hauck's Blog, page 33

Query Questions with Renee Nyen

Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.

Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a series called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers from the real expert--agents!
Query Questions is back with a fresh set of questions and more agents. The people have spoken and let me know which questions should stay and which could go. We've got a few brand new situations that writers would like clarified.
Here today is Renee Nyen from KT Literary. Renee is looking for YA and MG, find her full wishlist here.


Is there a better or worse time of year to query?
Not particularly. Sometimes I'm farther behind than others. But that's no one's fault but my own.

Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
I read at least the first paragraph of probably 75% of the queries that come into my inbox. I really ascribe to the "content is King" school of thought. Novelists write novels. Writing a query is a different kind of writing. It's important for novelists to learn query writing, but I recognize the jump between disciplines can be difficult. So if I liked the premise, I usually read a few lines no matter what shape the query is in.

How open are you to writers who have never been published?
I love debut authors! Publishers tend to prefer it! Not that I can't sell a previously published author, but then the editor has to have the conversation of "low previous sales numbers" when I'm trying to negotiate more money. So "debut novelist" is a really advantageous place to be! (Even if you're querying your 3rd or 4th manuscript!)
The dreaded rhetorical question in a query. Are they as taboo as the rumors say?
Yes. Just. Yes. So much yes. Here's why:

It's a lazy way of trying to garner an emotional connection from your reader. And it almost immediately makes me think the writer might cut corners in the manuscript, too. By asking "What would you do if everyone you ever loved turned into a zombie?" a writer hopes I'm picturing my husband looking a little green, staggering around, and trying to eat my brains. But that's not the purpose of a query. I want to know what your main character does when, presumably, their family becomes zombies!

How important are comp titles? Is it something you want to see in a query? Are movie/tv reference okay as comp titles?
Comp titles are a lot of fun for me! I'm a sucker for a great comp combo. I like to see one or two books in your genre from a big house published in the last year or two. But after that, get creative! Like "The shifting reality of Claudia Gray's A THOUSAND PIECES OF YOU with the high-stakes race plotline of Ryan Graudin's WOLF BY WOLF" or "The Breakfast Club meets EVERYTHING LEADS TO YOU" or "AND I DARKEN meets Game of Thrones". Ok, now I'm just creating a wish list. But you get the picture.


Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
I understand it can feel weird to dive into a query with no preamble, but go for it! We both know why you're in my inbox--I can get your manuscript in front of editors. That's why we're both there. If I love your query, your pages, and your manuscript, then I will ask why you wrote the manuscript and where you see your career going.

If you want to mention my favorite band or a favorite TV show we have in common, it never hurts. Or telling me why you chose to query me. But it isn't necessary. For me, social media is the best place for personal connection! (Shameless Twitter plug: Follow me! @ me! Send me Supernatural gifs. @Renee_Nyen I like seeing familiar social media faces in my query inbox.)

How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
It depends. I've had as many as 200 in a week. But mostly, its about 30-50. I will usually look pretty closely at 25% of the queries in my inbox. Probably requesting partials for 1-3 per week.
How do you feel about writers nudging on full/partial requests? At what point is it appropriate?
I'm not going to say you can't nudge. But I am going to say it doesn't make me read faster. I'm (almost) always aware of what's in my inbox. And if I haven't gotten to your submission, I intend to. That said, if I put out a "I'm all caught up!" tweet, and you haven't received a response? Absolutely follow up. Via email. Please. Nudges on Twitter or, worse, anonymously via Tumblr are not my favorite.
When a writer nudges with an offer, what length of time is helpful to give you enough time to consider? A week? Two weeks?
Usually I see two weeks. That's pretty industry standard. Just be polite and communicative and you'll be fine!

Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?
I don't require an author be active online, but if I'm trying to get a sense of someone (especially if I love their pages/partial) it's really frustrating if I can't find them on social media. How else will I internet stalk them? :) It doesn't tip the scales in either direction for me, personally, but I love when writers provide me with their Twitter handle in a query.
I encourage my clients to at least have the social media set up. It's not necessary, but it's a useful tool, and usually one that editors and publicists ask about. And find what works for you. If you have a happy little corner of Tumblr, no need to dump all your efforts into Twitter. Social media works best when there is genuine connection with people. And that connection will work best if you're comfortable with the platforrm. So find what you like and go for it! There's no wrong time to start building relationships!

If a writer makes changes to their manuscript due to feedback should they resend the query or only if material was requested? Does it make a difference if the changes are from an R&R with another agent?
I prefer to only see the query once. Even if you've overhauled it. Typically even a huge overhaul isn't going to change the mechanics of your query too much. So, I say don't switch out at the query level. If it's requested material, give me an FYI. If I'm interested, I'll ask for the update. If not, it's a good way to nudge an agent into a response without actually nudging them. :)

What themes are you sick of seeing?
The dead parent/best friend trope is incredibly overwrought in YA. Grief is a formative human experience, especially during adolescence, but it takes a very special grief story for me to connect with it. I also HATE the vacuous, gregarious, shop-a-holic, sex-crazed best friend trope. Hate. Especially when they drag the main character to a party in the first three chapters. That's not a meaningful relationship, that's a plot device with a name and, likely, a drinking problem. I've seen a huge shift to deep, genuine friendships in YA and I'm really loving it! Teens are complicated, and some of them like to party, but I like seeing the other side, too!

Do you look at trends or editor wishlists when deciding to sign a manuscript?
Do I sign books specifically to fulfill an editor wishlist? No. I have to sign a book because I love it. Not because I think someone else will.
Am I very aware of it while I'm putting together pitches for editors and building sub lists? Absolutely!

Do you consider yourself a hands-on, editorial type of agent? Does a manuscript have to be sub-ready or will you sign stories that need work?
I got into publishing on the editorial side, so I'm very editorially minded. I want my clients to get the best contract possible. If that means we put in a little bit of editorial work before hand, I'm happy to do that!

What is your biggest query pet peeve? Is there anything that automatically sinks a query for you?
I don't like when writers use weird fonts and formatting. It detracts from your content. This goes for your manuscript, too. Just one font in one size, please. If you are really compelled, you can use all caps for character names in your synopsis, but that's it.
Also, please don't pitch the second, third, or fourth book in a series. Or a self published book. Getting a publisher to jump in mid-stream on something like that is pretty rare. Publishers like their intellectual property to be unencumbered by any other contracts.

Finally, queries written in first person "by" the main character are a big no for me. Even if your book is very voicey and in first person, I prefer to see the traditional query format.

What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
I'm a huge SFF fan. The farther from our world, the better. And I've been reading a lot of historical YA lately and loving it. Magical Realism seems to be a pretty regular thing on everyone's wish list lately, and I'm no exception.

Also, someone, feel free to write me that Kiersten White/Game of Thrones mash-up I pitched earlier, ok?!

That said, Any YA or MG can turn my head if I connect with the characters and the writing!



Several years in the editorial department at Random House’s Colorado division provided Renee with the opportunity to work with bestselling and debut authors alike. After leaving Random House, she came to KT Literary in early 2013. She loves digging into manuscripts and helping the author shape the best story possible. Though this is great for her profession, it tends to frustrate people watching movies with her. With a penchant for depressing hipster music and an abiding love for a good adventure story, Renee is always looking for book recommendations. Even if that means creeping on people reading in public. Which she does frequently. She makes her home in Arizona with her husband, and their two children.

Query Questions with Shannon Powers

Writers have copious amounts of imagination. It's what makes their stories so fantastic. But there's a darker side to so much out of the box thinking. When a writer is in the query trenches, their worries go into overdrive. They start pulling out their hair and imagine every possible disaster.

Here to relieve some of that endless worrying is a series called Query Questions. I'll ask the questions which prey on every writer's mind, and hopefully take some of the pain out of querying. These are questions that I've seen tossed around on twitter and writing sites like Agent Query Connect. They are the type of questions that you need answers from the real expert--agents!
Query Questions is back with a fresh set of questions and more agents. The people have spoken and let me know which questions should stay and which could go. We've got a few brand new situations that writers would like clarified.
And here to take the first interview with the new questions is Shannon Powers of McIntosh and Otis. 

Is there a better or worse time of year to query?
I think people think this magical “better” time exists, but as far as I’m concerned nope! The agents I know all read consistently throughout the year. Just expect to wait up to a few months for a decision, no matter when you submit. Remember that sometimes no response is the decision. Check the agent’s guidelines.
Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
I make a solid effort to look at least a little bit of the sample pages to see writing. However, if a query really isn’t working for me or if it’s clearly not a book that would be a good fit (for example a genre I’m not interested in), I may skip them.
How open are you to writers who have never been published?
Very! Credentials are great but definitely not necessary in the querying stage.
The dreaded rhetorical question in a query. Are they as taboo as the rumors say?
I feel pretty neutral –to-“meh” about rhetorical questions. I definitely think there are better ways to incorporate a sense of mystery in your query, but I’m not outraged by rhetorical questions to the point where I’d pass on something immediately because of one. That said, in a query you want every line to be better than neutral-to-“meh.”
How important are comp titles? Is it something you want to see in a query? Are movie/tv reference okay as comp titles?
I personally like comp titles and I love to see them in queries. They help me get a sense of where the author sees this book falling in terms of readers’ interests. Comp titles can also help get me really excited about a project. They are a great tool and even if they don’t make it into your query for whatever reason, you should be able to name a few anyway. For me, movies and TV are definitely ok!
Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
No chit chat, and definitely not up front at the start of the query. The strongest queries for me are the ones that read like this book has already been published and I’m reading the jacket copy. If you’re going to chit chat, at the end of the letter is best. And keep it brief!  

How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those? 
This fluctuates, of course. Right now it’s about 150ish/a week. From those I might request 2-4 things, on average.
How do you feel about writers nudging on full/partial requests? At what point is it appropriate? 
I don’t mind authors checking in via email (don’t do it on Twitter), but I respond personally to all requested material so there’s not a real reason to– they will hear from me either way once I’ve finished reading. However, as a rule of thumb I would wait at least 4 months before nudging. 
When a writer nudges with an offer, what length of time is helpful to give you enough time to consider? A week? Two weeks?
Two weeks is ideal, otherwise you might get passes because of the rush. I wrote a detailed blog post about this whole process here!https://shannonepowers.wordpress.com/2016/05/02/so-you-got-an-offer-of-rep/
Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?
Tip the scales, I don’t think so. At the end of the day the work and how much I click with this author are the deciding factors. That said, I definitely strongly encourage authors to beef up their online presence as it’s a great tool for both promotion and learning from others. For those who are social media-shy, I of course am  happy to give tips and tricks to ease them in. A willingness to try with social media can go a long way.

If a writer makes changes to their manuscript due to feedback should they resend the query or only if material was requested? Does it make a difference if the changes are from an R&R with another agent?
Only if material is requested. No.
What themes are you sick of seeing?
I don’t know that I’m sick of any “big idea” themes particularly, though I’m definitely not the best fit for something about say, parenthood or marriage. However are there are few tropes and plot devices I’m a little bored of: conflicts that center around  reputation or “disgracing the family name,” women trying to be the perfect wife (whatever that means), an introverted character “coming out of their shell,” big, vague conspiracies (oppressive government, etc).
Do you look at trends or editor wishlists when deciding to sign a manuscript?
I would never sign a client just because they match a certain trend or editor’s wishes. As they say, if you’re signing for a trend, you’re already too late! However, I’m definitely always trying to be mindful of what is working in the market and listen to what editors say they are looking for. So I do consider these things, but they are never a deciding factor. Again, the writing and connection is most important.
Do you consider yourself a hands-on, editorial type of agent? Does a manuscript have to be sub-ready or will you sign stories that need work?
Definitely. I love the editorial side of things and am not afraid of substantial revisions, which I probably will ask for J  What I look for before that is a solid foundation of story and characters and good writing – the rest can be adjusted as needed as we start to open up the big questions of the story, all the way down to the nitty gritty of the last round.
I’ve never really heard of a “sub-ready” manuscript coming in and needing no revision, and as an author I’d be wary if an agent had no improvements to suggest. Part of an agent’s job is to work with you to make your book better!
What is your biggest query pet peeve? Is there anything that automatically sinks a query for you?
If a query doesn’t follow submission guidelines, I’m instantly turned off. It shows me that the author either is unprepared or didn’t care enough to research them.
What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
1.      An incredibly smart, plot-driven mystery with great atmospheric writing.2.      A YA with the dark humor of Heathers.3.      A YA or MG featuring a Bonnie/Clyde style friendship or relationship.

What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes? 
Books (just some of a long list of favorites): anything by Megan Abbott, BONE GAP by Laura Ruby, IN THE WOODS by Tana French, THE FUTURE FOR CURIOUS PEOPLE by Gregory Sherl, GIRLS ON FIRE by Robin Wasserman, REBECCA by Daphne DuMaurier, THE SERPENT KING by Jeff Zentner, WHERE’D YOU GO, BERNADETTE by Maria Semple, THE SONG OF ACHILLES by Madeline Miller, THE TWO PRINCESSES OF BAMARRE by Gail Carson Levine, THE SECRET HISTORY by Donna Tartt, CORALINE by Neil Gaiman, WHY WE BROKE UP by David Handler, anything by Bill Bryson.
Movies & TV: My all time favorite movie is THELMA & LOUISE. Others: ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND, HEATHERS, IT FOLLOWS. Some TV for good measure: ORPHAN BLACK, PARKS & REC, STRANGER THINGS, THE KILLING, GILMORE GIRLS, HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER.
 
SHANNON POWERS is a graduate of New York University. She began her career in publishing at McIntosh and Otis as an intern in 2011, and then went on to intern at The Book Report Network and W.W. Norton & Company. She has also worked as a bookseller. She returned to M&O in 2014, where she assists Shira Hoffman and Christa Heschke and is also looking to build her own list as a junior agent.Shannon is interested in representing a range of both adult and children's genres. Above all, she looks for projects with a strong hook, smart plotting, memorable characters, and an addictive voice. She is open to both lighter projects and projects with a darker edge. For adult, her reading interests include literary fiction, mystery, horror, popular history, and romance. In YA and middle grade, she is searching for mysteries and thrillers with high emotional stakes, projects with romantic elements (whether fun or angsty), horror, light sci-fi or fantasy, and contemporary with a unique premise.

Sainthood- Real Life versus Fictional

If you watch the news at all you saw Pope Francis canonized Mother Teresa, making her a saint. Usually the path to sainthood in the Catholic Church takes decades, or even centuries. First the candidate's, called the Servant of God, life has to be examined to make sure they lived and died in an exemplary holy way and the person is worthy of being a saint. So there is a lot of paper work and documentation to reach this state, all their writings and speeches are examined, their whole life is under a microscope. Pope Francis intervened and put Mother Teresa on a fast-track, where instead of having to wait five years, they only had to wait two after her death to being this process. 

When enough information has been gathered, a report of the candidate's heroic virtue will be passed up to the pope. If the report is favorable then the candidate becomes "Venerable."

After this comes the process of searching for verified miracles. Or in the case of the Venerable being declared a martyr, where they gave his or her life voluntarily as a witness for the faith and/or in an act of heroic charity for others, you jump right up to being "Blessed." If the person wasn't a martyr, such as Mother Teresa, then a miracle is needed to become "Blessed." Miracles today usually take the form of a miraculous healing/cure after praying to the candidate. They have to include suddenness, completeness, and long term stability of the cure. Such was the case with Mother Teresa when another nun was healed of stomach cancer after praying to Mother Teresa.

To be declared a saint, a second miracle must be recorded. That came for Mother Teresa in the form of a Brazilian man who placed an icon of Mother Teresa in his home and prayed to her for intercession with his brain abscesses. All of this of course occurred after Mother Teresa's death.

That's the real life way to become a saint. The fictional method for my Birth of Saints series takes a whole lot less time, includes more magic and sword fighting, and the characters are very much alive--for now. It's an invented religion, a mishmash of different pieces of the real thing, but the journey to sainthood does happen in three stages.

The story opens in GRUDGING with the characters standing against an invading army come to enslave them. They are tested again and again as they prove or fail at heroic virtue. The book blurb says it best and doesn't give away the ending.





A world of chivalry and witchcraft…and the invaders who would destroy everything.

The North has invaded, bringing a cruel religion and no mercy. The ciudades-estados who have stood in their way have been razed to nothing, and now the horde is before the gates of Colina Hermosa…demanding blood.

On a mission of desperation, a small group escapes the besieged city in search of the one thing that might stem the tide of Northerners: the witches of the southern swamps.

The Women of the Song.

But when tragedy strikes their negotiations, all that is left is a single untried knight and a witch who has never given voice to her power. And time is running out.


The second book FAITHFUL comes out this November. And as the world falls apart around them and the Northern threat escalates, the major players fight to hold tight to their beliefs and each other.




A world of Fear and death…and those trying to save it.

The Northern invaders continue their assault on the ciudades-estados. Terror has taken hold, and those that should be allies betray each other in hopes of their own survival. As the realities of this devastating and unprovoked war settles in, what can they do to fight back?

On a mission of hope, an unlikely group sets out to find a teacher for Claire, and a new weapon to use against the Northerners and their swelling army.

What they find instead is an old woman.

But she’s not a random crone—she’s Claire’s grandmother. She’s also a Woman of the Song, and her music is both strong and horrible. And while Claire has already seen the power of her own Song, she is scared of her inability to control it, having seen how her magic has brought evil to the world, killing without reason or remorse. To preserve a life of honor and light, Ramiro and Claire will need to convince the old woman to teach them a way so that the power of the Song can be used for good. Otherwise, they’ll just be destroyers themselves, no better than the Northerners and their false god, Dal. With the annihilation their enemy has planned, though, they may not have a choice.


And I'm in the process of writing the third volume for release in 2017, tentatively titled BLESSED. Miracles will happen. Lives will be given. Will it be enough to stop the blood-thirsty Children of Dal? 

Dreamer. Warrior. Politician. Philosopher. Counselor. Who will live to become saints?




Honor Has No Gender, Bravery Has No Race, and Family Has No Limits

Grudging: Find it: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iBooks | Goodreads
Faithful: Find It: Amazon | Barnes and Noble | HarperCollins | Goodreads


     

Nix the Rhetorical Questions

Does anyone really like rhetorical questions? There's plenty of evidence that agents don't. I've seen them mentioned in rants on twitter, in blog posts, and on their submission pages where they list things to avoid in query letters. I think the rhetorical question ranks right up there with greeting lovely agents with "Dear Agent" instead of their name or sending to multiply agents with one query letter. It may not be as bad as failing to follow their submission instructions, but it won't win you any favors either.

I always thought this was very well-known knowledge in the writing community: Avoid a rhetorical question in a query letter. In fact, avoiding any sort of question at all is the safest way to go.

One agent explained it this way--you really don't want agents filling in their own answers to such questions in your query. If you end your query letter with Can Suzy-Q save the world from a deadly rain of lemon Popsicles? A tired or rushed agent is likely to say "no" and click delete. Don't give agents any reason to say no. 

I was super surprised then to find questions of a rhetorical nature in a large percentage of my Pitchwars query slush. Probably more than 10%. And it wasn't just me. Other mentors commented on the sudden reemergence of  question marks in their query slush also. 

I'm not here to say that ruined anyone's chances for becoming my mentee. Rhetorical questions in a query letter are easy enough to fix. Simply rephrase into a statement or drop them altogether. No big deal, right?

Yeah.

Um. Maybe.

Here's the problem: Besides annoying agents, they send a message. A message you don't really want sent. If it is general knowledge to avoid rhetorical questions and you have them, it suggests you make other newbie mistakes in your manuscript that might not be so easy to fix. It suggests you might not have done research on your craft. Think about that.

This may be your first manuscript, but that doesn't have to show. 

So it's one thing to use rhetorical questions in a letter sent to mentors who plan to help you improve your work, but it's another thing to hit send on them to agents. My friendly advice is to hold a seance and exorcism on those questions right now. Your query letter will thank you for it! 

Release Day for MARK OF THE DRAGON

Rosario Hernandez doesn't ask for much. She'd like to sleep on a bed instead of a sidewalk, to know where her next meal is coming from, and maybe, if she's really feeling optimistic, to get a girlfriend. More than anything, though, she wants her best friend Arkay to not murder anyone— because Arkay is a dragon, claws and all, and she has a penchant for vigilante justice. 
When Arkay's latest escapade goes sour, Rosario gets stuck with a stolen van and a cooler full of human organs. Now they're on the run, and it's not just the cops who want answers. The owner of the cooler is still out there, and they want to replace what they've lost— by any means necessary.
https://www.amazon.com/Mark-Dragon-Urban-Book-ebook/dp/B01H8GI5HShttp://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mark-of-the-dragon-jw-troemner/1123953377https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1125896020https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/mark-of-the-dragon-3https://www.scribd.com/book/316212921https://www.24symbols.com/book/english/jw-troemner/mark-of-the-dragon---urban-dragon-1?id=1526067

JW Troemner was born in Germany and immigrated to the United States, where she lives with her partner in a house full of pets. Most days she can be found gazing longingly at sinkholes and abandoned buildings.
http://jwtroemner.com/https://www.facebook.com/authorjwtroemnerhttps://twitter.com/JWTroemner

Nightmare on Query Street

One...Two...We are coming for you.Three...Four...There will be a slush war.Five...Six...Get your query fixed.Seven...Eight...Make your first page great.Nine...Ten...Yes, we're at it again.
Nightmare on Query Street
The agents are ready.... are you?



Face your Fear 


October 14, 2016

Agent Interviews

I think it's time to do a refresher on agent interviews. I've used the same list of questions for several years. I think some of the questions don't need to be asked anymore as the agents say the same thing on them. And there might be new questions that make sense as things are always changing and publishing doesn't stand still.

Here's where you come in. I need to know exactly which questions to take out and suggestions for new questions about query slush or query letters. I need you to leave a comment with numbers you want out, numbers you want to stay, and suggestions for new material.

The list is too long now and I really can't add more questions unless some are removed. Agents don't have time for so many questions and slimming this list down will likely lead to more interviews.

Note: If I don't get any comments or get just a handful, I'm going to assume nobody wants me to do any further interviews and stop petitioning agents for their time. So that's a warning that I need and expect your help.

Here's the current questions:

1. Is there a better or worse time of year to query?
2. Does one typo or misplaced comma shoot down the entire query?
3. Do you look at sample pages without fail or only if the query is strong?
4. Do you have an assistant or intern go through your queries first or do you check all of them?
5. Do you keep a maybe pile of queries and go back to them for a second look?
6. If the manuscript has a prologue, do you want it included with the sample pages?
7. How important are comp titles? Is it something you want to see in a query?
8. Some agencies mention querying only one agent at a time and some say query only one agent period. How often do you pass a query along to a fellow agent who might be more interested?
9. Do you prefer a little personalized chit-chat in a query letter, or would you rather hear about the manuscript?
10. Most agents have said they don’t care whether the word count/genre sentence comes first or last. But is it a red flag if one component is not included?
11. Writers hear a lot about limiting the number of named characters in a query. Do you feel keeping named characters to a certain number makes for a clearer query?
12. Should writers sweat the title of their book (and character names) or is that something that is often changed by publishers?
13. How many queries do you receive in a week? How many requests might you make out of those?
14. Many agents say they don't care if writers are active online. Could a twitter account or blog presence by a writer tip the scales in getting a request or offer? And do you require writers you sign to start one?
15. Some writers have asked about including links to their blogs or manuscript-related artwork. I’m sure it’s not appropriate to add those links in a query, but are links in an email signature offensive?
16. If a writer makes changes to their manuscript due to feedback should they resend the query or only if material was requested?
17.  What bio should an author with no publishing credits include?
18. What does ‘just not right mean for me’ mean to you?
19. What themes are you sick of seeing?
20. Do you consider yourself a hands-on, editorial type of agent?
21. What’s the strangest/funniest thing you’ve seen in a query?
22. What three things are at the top of your submission wish list?
23. What are some of your favorite movies or books to give us an idea of your tastes?

Be Aware of Reader Expectations

I've been wanting to find time for this post from #Pitchwars and have been so swamped with work. But edits are off to my co-mentees and a chapter is finished. Time to blog!

Today, I want to make sure you consider expectations. Whether you know it or not your query letter and your first chapter are setting up expectations in the reader. I noticed it so much more when I went from reading a first chapter to a full manuscript. Writer beware of setting up false expectations.

In Pitchwars I requested to see about ten fulls. I'd hoped to have time for more, but my schedule just got overloaded the last week. Of those, I read all the way through three of them. Not all, but some of the others I stopped reading because the pages after the first chapter didn't match. Some aspect was changed.

I don't think I've ever analyzed this before. But I noticed it pretty heavily in Pitchwars this year. I think that's because in most of the contests I'm involved with, I only read 250 words. It seemed like often what I believed would happen next and what did happen were different somehow, even though I try and keep an open mind when reading.

A first chapter has to fulfill so many goals. It has to start the character arc and work on building a complete character. There has to be some world building while avoiding information dumps. The plot should at least be hinted at in some way. The tone and mood of the story are set in the first chapter. A reader gets a sense of the voice in the first chapter. So a first chapter has to be a tightly woven and complex design. But as you're building characters and worlds, you're also building the readers expectations for what will occur in the rest of the book. And if you're not careful the gap between those expectations and reality will be too wide.

A reader's expectation can be disappointed over the plot, the reader may expect the goal and stakes to head one way and it suddenly veers off to a different goal for the characters. If there's nothing in the query or book blurb to warn of this, such a change can make a reader lay down the book and be done. But plot isn't the only way that expectations can fall short.

The tone and voice of the rest of the book need to match the first chapter. If the reader thinks they are reading a mystery and it suddenly becomes a romance, there's going to be trouble. If you start the book with a certain character and in chapter two that character completely disappears or changes dramatically, why that can cause head scratching as well.

If the first chapter is full of explosions and spying and action and the next thirty percent has none of that and loses a sense of conflict, that can also cause a let down.

For the first time, I really saw why agents don't care for prologues. Because I saw a lot of first chapters that were actually prologues in disguise. It isn't so much what's in the prologue that's the problem. It's that the expectations then might not match. If we jump time periods or character ages in chapter one to chapter two, that can totally throw a reader off, especially if something else about the story no longer matches up. 

So when you're building characters and weaving words, think a little bit about consistence and what the reader might want to see. Does your first chapter match with what comes next or might you be creating an unreliable situation? Be off by too much and you may lose your readers.      

Getting the Call from Query Kombat with Jim O'Donnell

Congratulations to this year's Query Kombat YA Champion Jim O'Donnell on signing with his agent! More than one host had their eye on HOT SAUCE IS BAD FOR WOUND CARE, and we're absolutely thrilled to share this success story. Take it away, Jim!
Stats time! Everyone loves the stats (God, I know I do). It’s so encouraging when you see those meticulously kept stats on how many queries were sent out, how many rejections were received, how many offers came in… if a writer could quantify their journey seeking representation in number of bowl movements from first draft to agency signing, I’d be here for it!
So now it is my turn to list all the fun stats and… I don’t have any.
Sorry. I just didn’t keep any. Well, there are a few. I wrote four full manuscripts and queried three. And I got plenty of rejections. Hundreds. Thousands, if it makes you feel better. But probably more like a hundred.
Yay for stats!
I do have one more group of numbers that is important. Not just to me, but to a querying writer as well. That number is: Forty-two. No I’m kidding, but wouldn’t that be cool? The real number is six. Over the course of my querying career, I entered six different contests a total of seven times.
Contest 1: Pitch Slam
I entered Pitch Slam twice with two different manuscripts, first in 2014, then again in 2015, and was selected each time. From my tenure as a Pitch Slam contestant, I received a total of five agent requests and made friends I still rely on. I love this contest so much, I currently help the hosts out as a slush reader.
Contests 2, 3, and 4 were all contests I did not get into. These contests are obviously all wonderful or I wouldn’t have tried to enter. However, not getting in took its toll each time. Getting rejected by agents is one thing, getting rejected by contests is a whole other.
If you are actively querying, the rejections come in so regularly, it gets to a point where you feel lonely when you haven’t gotten one in a week or two. They are a part of the scenery in a writer’s world; like a fern. When’s the last time you read a book where the author focused on, or even mentioned, the ferns? They’re there, they have to be, but dwelling on them is a waste of words. Contest rejections are different. First, there aren’t enough of them to ever be a fern. They are trees, and people write about trees often. Second, they come from fellow writers, and somehow, that makes them hurt so much more. Like I said, these contests are all great, but they are unnamed simply because they hurt the most and I don’t want any of the creators to feel bad about that. The time and energy these people put into the contests for no return other than a couple extra followers and the good feeling that comes from seeing their friends and peers succeed goes above and beyond. Because of this, I really want to say something positive here like, “These rejections gave me the motivation to do better,” or some other inspirational bs like that, but it’d be a lie. The truth is, getting rejected can be crushing, and there doesn’t have to be anything positive that comes from it. Sometimes it just sucks, and that’s all. How you proceed, when you proceed, if you proceed is entirely up to you.
Contest 5: Pitch Wars
The big one! This contest is so big, I actually had an agent send me a DM on Twitter letting me know I got in. At the time the names were announced, people were refreshing the webpage so much it nearly crashed the system, making it difficult to load. It broke the internet. Pitch Wars is Kim Kardashian's ass. In a good way. This agent, however, was so interested in who was getting in (like many other agents), they kept at it, refreshing until the names loaded, and ended up knowing I got in before I did.
And it’s no wonder Pitch Wars is so popular. Agents are willing to scroll through and read the hundred plus entries each year because they know these manuscripts were the best out of the thousands that entered. Not only were they the best of a huge group, but after being picked, they spent months working with their mentors to make those already good manuscripts great. And the results speak for themselves. Exactly a year after PW15 started out, nearly half of us have agents, and new book deals roll in each month. One of those deals was so big, Donald Trump just asked the writer for a loan. Which given the number of bankruptcies he’s filed, isn’t as impressive as it sounds.
From Pitch Wars, I received eleven agent requests and a group of friends who I’d trade those eleven requests for any day. Mostly because none of the requests led to an offer, but still the community is great.
Contest 6: Query Kombat
Query Kombat is by far the most stressful contest I’ve been in. It’s also the one that got me my agent. In all contests, you are competing with other writers. In the submission rounds, you’re competing for a limited number of spots. In the agent rounds, you typically aren’t competing for the highest number of agent requests, but you are competing for each agent’s attention. This is true for all contests. Query Kombat takes it to the next level, says, this level is boring, then bumps it up six levels higher. Not only are you competing in the same anonymous, hardly competitive way as in the other contests, you’re also competing in the one-on-one, nerve-wracking, back and forth, anything-could-change-in-a-second way that I can confidently blame for the decreased volume of hair on my head. I went to a convention while Query Kombat was going on and spent the entire time refreshing the screen on my iPhone. I honestly don’t remember anything from the con other than a friend warning I was missing the entire convention. She was right.
As stressful as it was, it worked. My query was a hundred times better from start to finish, and I walked away with eleven agent/editor requests. Then something weird happened. Requests turned into offers. Offers. With an s. As in more than one. I was (still am) in shock.
In the end, I accepted representation from an agent who requested during Query Kombat, but made her decision to offer based on my work as a whole. This agent’s enthusiasm and willingness to work on all the other projects I'm obsessing over was what won me over.
So, after three years of writing and querying and entering contests, last week, I signed with Victoria Selvaggio of Jennifer DeChiara Literary Agency.

I have a lot of people to thank for reaching this milestone, but right now, the ones most on my mind are the hosts of all the contests I’ve entered. Of course this includes the fabulous hosts of Query Kombat and the other contests I was accepted in, but also the ones I did not make it in. Because after about six hundred words worth of thinking, I’ve come up with something positive to say. In every single contest I’ve entered, I’ve made friends. Friends who have critiqued and edited sentences, paragraphs, pages, entire manuscripts. Friends who have inspired me with their own success and set aside their celebrations to make sure the rest of us don’t feel too bad. Friends who have promised me I’d get to this point even when I knew they were lying. And friends who have said nothing at times because they knew silence was what I needed. Thanks to all of these contests, I found the community that got me here. So thanks, hosts, you all rock!



Jim O'Donnell is a father of three (the oldest being three), husband, attorney, and a soon-to-be-retired police lieutenant. If you're wondering why he'll be retired so young, it's because Will Smith is just that good of an actor.

When he's not playing with his kids or trying to convince his work that Will Smith is actually an actor and not a doctor, he writes about teenagers doing bad things. And then his wife threatens to divorce him for spending every second of his free time writing, and after he writes about teenagers doing really bad things. Like murder.

You can find Jim on Twitter @JD_ODonnell. He's also on Facebook at Facebook.com/voteODonnell. Yeah, that's right, he once ran for Congress. No one ever said he was the smartest guy in the world.

BREATH OF EARTH Excerpt

In an alternate 1906, the United States and Japan have forged a powerful confederation—the Unified Pacific—in an attempt to dominate the world. Their first target is a vulnerable China. In San Francisco, headstrong Ingrid Carmichael is assisting a group of powerful geomancer wardens who have no idea of the depth of her power—or that she is the only woman to possess such skills.

When assassins kill the wardens, Ingrid and her mentor are protected by her incredible magic. But the pair is far from safe. Without its full force of guardian geomancers, the city is on the brink of a cataclysmic earthquake that will expose Earth’s powers to masterminds determined to control the energy for their own dark ends. The danger escalates when Chinese refugees, preparing to fight the encroaching American and Japanese, fracture the uneasy alliance between the Pacific allies, transforming the city into a veritable powder keg. And the slightest tremor will set it off. . . .

Forced on the run, Ingrid makes some shocking discoveries about herself. Her powerful magic has grown even more fearsome . . . and she may be the fulcrum on which the balance of world power rests.


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This excerpt from chapter 1 offers an introduction to geomancy.

Whimpers and moans welcomed Ingrid to the junior classroom. Nearest to the door, a dozen boys half sprawled over their desks. A blue mist overlay their skin, and beneath that mist were the sure signs of power sickness—skin flushed by high fever, thick sweat, dull eyes. The rest of the class stared, their expressions ranging from curiosity to horror. Some of them still showed signs of very recent recovery in their bloodshot eyes. None of these boys was older than ten; the youngest was a pudgy-faced eight.

"There you are!" The teacher scowled, as if it were Ingrid’s
fault he’d been so inept with his accounting. Biting her lip, she held out the bag. He snatched it from her fingertips.

The chalkboard laid out the terminology of the lesson, one
Ingrid had seen taught dozens of times: hyperthermia, hypothermia, and the quick timeline to a geomancer’s death. These young boys experienced the hard lesson of hyperthermia. The last earthquake noticeable by the wardens had taken place
three days before. These students had been directly exposed to the current and hadn’t been allowed access to any kermanite. As a result, they spent the past few days bed-bound in misery as though gripped by influenza.

Thank God none of them were as sensitive as Ingrid. Another direct tremor would cause their temperatures to spike even more, and could even lead to death.

The teacher adept pressed a piece of kermanite to a boy’s skin. He gasped at the contact. Blue mist eddied over his body, the color evaporating as it was pulled inside the rock.

If she could see the kermanite in the adept’s hand, the clear crystal would be filling with a permanent smoky swirl. It took a trained mechanic to rig an electrical current to tap the trapped magic as a battery. When the energy within was exhausted, a crystal turned dull and dark. Once that happened, kermanite became a useless rock.

The young boy sat up straighter. "Thank you, sir," he whispered,
voice still ragged. It would take him hours to fully recover.

Ingrid looked away, that familiar anger heavy in her chest.
Wardens and boys in training carried kermanite openly from
watch fobs and cuff links, or most any other accessory where
stones could be easily switched out once they were full.

She had to be far more subtle. Her kermanite chunks clinked together in her dress pocket. She had to take care not to touch them today, or the energy she held would be siphoned away.

Ingrid loved this slight flush of power, because that’s what it was — power. It sizzled just beneath her skin, intoxicated her
with how it prickled at her nerves. Certainly, if she absorbed
any more energy, she’d use the kermanite. She didn’t want to feel sick, though she could hold much more power than these boys, or even the wardens. Mr. Sakaguchi said she took after
Papa — that she stored power like a bank vault, while most
everyone else had the capacity of a private safe.

When it came to her natural skill, Ingrid often regarded herself as a rare fantastic or yokai — not like garden ornamentals like the kappas or naiads sold to the stuffed shirts on Market Street — but like the geomantic Hidden Ones Mr. Sakaguchi so loved to research. She was a creature relegated to idle fancy and obscure mythology, and aggravating shoes.

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Beth Cato is the author of the Clockwork Dagger series from Harper Voyager, which includes her Nebula-nominated novella WINGS OF SORROW AND BONE. Her newest novel is BREATH OF EARTH. She’s a Hanford, California native transplanted to the Arizona desert, where she lives with her husband, son, and requisite cat. Follow her at BethCato.com and on Twitter at @BethCato.