Malcolm R. Campbell's Blog, page 87

Old People, Still Here, God Love ’em

I confess: I’m among those who see obituaries on Facebook and news sites for famous people and think, “I thought s/he was already dead.”

I can look on AARP Magazine’s “Big5-Oh” page and see that a lot of old people are still here. In the current issue I learned that Mary J. Blige is 50, Julia-Louis Dreyfus is 60, Wayne Gretzky is 60, Phil Collins is 70, Joan Baez is 80, Faye Dunaway is 80, and James Earl Jones is 90.

I also learned that, at 86, Sophia Loren–the sexy heartthrob of my high school years–is starring as Madame Rosa in the Netflix movie “The Life Ahead.”

According to Wikipedia, “Madam Rosa is a former prostitute and Holocaust survivor. She provides childcare for the children of “working women.” After a 12-year old Senegalese street kid robs her, she reluctantly agrees to take him in. They develop a deep bond and she tries to help him find his way in life, as he learns she is both a Holocaust survivor and an ex-prostitute.”

Roger Ebert.com says, “Loren inhabits the role of Madame Rosa as if it was written for her. (You can see why Ponti wanted to remake it for her). Bringing to the table her lifetime of experience, talent, and sense of truth, Loren’s Madame Rosa is alternately warm and cranky, imperious and funny, strong and fragile. Madame Rosa has led a hard life, and it shows in her face, her actions, but she is still capable of acts of great generosity. Madame Rosa often goes into fugue states when the trauma of her past gets to be too much. She retreats from the everyday world. In those moments, Loren seems truly broken, staring into space, unreachable. When feeling comes up in her, it’s so sharp and immediate it seems to surprise even her.”  

Oh good, she’s still “got it.”

—Malcolm

Malcolm R. Campbell is the author of “Fate’s Arrows,” available in hardcover, paperback, and e-book.

Submissions open for new writing contest

Imagine 2200: Climate fiction for future ancestors

“We’re calling for 3,000- to 5,000-word stories that envision the next 180 years of climate progress — roughly seven generations. The winning writer will be awarded $3,000, with the second- and third-place finalists receiving $2,000 and $1,000, respectively. An additional nine finalists will each receive a $300 honorarium. Winners and finalists will be published in a stunning (trust us), immersive digital collection on Fix’s website and will be celebrated in a public-facing virtual event.”

Click on the graphic above to see the contest page. . .and, good luck.

–Malcolm

New Title: ‘Parables Ironic and Grotesque’

Oblique Voices Press of Portland, Oregon has released a selection of dark satire stories by author and George Fox University Professor Emeritus Douglas G. Campbell, Parables Ironic and Grotesque. 

From the Publisher

Irony reigns in these biting and ofttimes darkly humorous tales. Campbell invites us to ponder upon the common follies of his fellow man, highlighting such weaknesses as pride, selfishness, fear, and greed, and pointing out the further foolishness of ignoring such shortcomings. Allegorical in nature, this body of work challenges the reader to a closer look into their own frailties and deficiencies and invites him to a healthy dose of quiet introspection.

From the Foreword by Jay Beaman, PhD

The irony of this artifact, this book, is the irony of how we communicate with each other in post-speak society. In the cyber-world, I can send off a message, and a few seconds later someone else speaks back to me or at me with a tweet, but usually there is a time interval between parts of the same message. Alexander Graham Bell’s first message on the telephone, “Mr. Watson –come here- I want to see you,” was instantaneous and continuous. Cyber-communication is discontinuous, disjunctive, and in that sense ironic. Here we are just now getting around to reading a book by Doug Campbell, written when he was a great speaker, when his voice was in the moment, some years ago before his stroke. Given his current difficulty in saying words, it is ironic to read such prescient work written about our society. I hope to have lunch with Doug again in days, and our conversation will be halting, frustrating, even primitive. But here I read him with such thoughtful and deft clarity. Doug loves puns, like his painting of a frog workshop, titled “toad’s tools.” This book is filled with puns. I hope Doug will forgive me for my pun, quite in bad taste, but written with deepest empathy, I weep as I write it, that this book reads like “a stroke of genius.”

I won’t commit the faux pax of reviewing my brother’s book, though I have to say, I love puns, satire, and irony and find this collection (in those terms) a comforting read.

—Malcolm

 

Post-Christmas Thank You Letters

I learned as a kid that after we opened all the gifts under the Christmas tree, that my two brothers and I would dutifully be writing thank-you letters to the out-of-town relatives who sent us gifts. We had to appear grateful whether we liked the gifts or not. No sarcasm or honesty allowed as in:

Dear Grandpa and Grandma, Thanks for the unique shirt. I’ll be the only high school senior wearing a shirt that looks like this. In fact, I’ll probably get beaten up during phys ed class as soon as the school toughs see that I’m wearing a shirt that my history teacher Mr. Johnson says was popular in the 1930s.

Fortunately, my wife and I solicit and get lists of potential Christmas gifts from my daughter for the two granddaughters. So, we won’t make the mistake of sending them a damn shirt.

I have here three postcards thanking us for the loot. None of them contain profanity and/or sarcasm.

My daughter’s handwriting is strong, confident, and easy to read.My oldest granddaughter, who just turned thirteen, writes strong prose in tiny letters. She could fit an entire short story onto a postcard and have space left over.My youngest granddaughter still writes in large letters that I have to ask my wife to help translate. Cute, after I figure out what she said.

It’s been fun seeing my granddaughters’ handwriting evolve. They don’t know anything about cursive. Too bad, I think, but it’s not their fault. Kids’ handwriting starts out so big they can only fit two or three words on a postcard. Maybe that’s the point: “Hey, Ma, done already.” Then it gets smaller as they grow up. 

I know my daughter leaned on them to write these just as my mother leaned on me to write post-Christmas thank you letters. But I still like getting them. In time, they’ll outgrow the stuff we send and it will end up buried in a closet. But that’s okay as long as the gifts make them happy for a while.

–Malcolm

Do you know what it was like to be 13?

My oldest granddaughter is now 13.  A teenager. Beginning what is supposedly an angst-filled and uncertain time for humans.

I have no clue what it was like to be thirteen years old. My family sent out a Christmas letter. They’ve been collected into a notebook which I use whenever I want to know what I was doing at a certain age. Checking the records, I see I was a Star Scout, diligently working on merit badges. Once I read this in the Christmas letter archives, the memories come back and I remember the Scout meetings and the camping trips and family trip to a lake near Rhinelander, Wisconsin where we tried (without success) to catch Pike and Muskies.

I know my granddaughter’s primary focus is ballet lessons. She’s been in Girl Scouts. She likes the scariest rides at Disney World and other theme parks. Goodness knows I, as her grandfather, don’t know how to handle ballet lessons or perform on stage. So, no wisdom from me on being a teen.

Not that she’d ask.

She’s a vegan even though her sister and parents aren’t. My wife and I wonder where that came from; perhaps she heard about it from another kid at school and the approach to eating made sense.

I can’t help with that.

I know she can be very stubborn, very focused on what she wants to do. I can identify with that. Seriously, I was a horrible teenager mainly because I had no respect for authority and didn’t like being told what to do or what not to do.

My daughter won’t let me say anything about what I felt at thirteen. I don’t blame her. Yet, I worry, because being an outlier can be a lonely road. If we saw each other more often (she lives in MD and I live in GA), I could listen and hope listening is all she wanted.

So, she’s slowly turning into an adult, a time when parents are often skeptical about the value of too much contact with grandparents. My parents often thought my grandparents were a bad influence. That meant that I thought my grandparents were a good influence.

I was very independent as a teen. I think my granddaughter will be, too. I’m both happy and concerned about that. Her IQ will get her into trouble that I hope she’ll figure out how to get out of.

Grandpa’s sort of a rebel. Best that I don’t let her know.

—Malcolm

Malcolm R. Campbell is the author of the contemporary fantasy novel “The Sun Singer.”

Line Editing, Copy Editing, or Proofreading?

For guidance, I turned to the authority, the Chicago manual. Yet even that widely accepted all-knowing guide doesn’t make a distinction among editing levels: “Manuscript editing, also called copy editing or line editing, requires attention to every word and mark of punctuation in a manuscript, a thorough knowledge of the style to be followed, and the ability to make quick, logical, and defensible decisions.”New authors are often confused about what level of editing they need, and rightly so. I hope to offer insight into the differences between line editing, copy editing, and proofreading.

Source: The Differences Between Line Editing, Copy Editing, and Proofreading | Jane Friedman

Authors, especially indie authors who aren’t used to the multiple editing cycles their work will go through at a major publisher, often consider hiring an editor, but then become unsure what kind of editing service they need to purchase. This blog helps make distinctions between editing types.

Copy, of course, is your printed-out or Word manuscript. A proof is your manuscript after it’s been laid out as it will look in magazine or book form. Generally speaking, proofreading is a search for the printer’s errors while copy editing is a search for the author’s errors.

So what is line editing and when do you need it? A good question. You’ll find a credible answer in this article in Jane Friedman’s blog.

–Malcolm

Malcolm R. Campbell is the author of “Fate’s Arrows,” the fourth novel in his Florida Folk Magic Series.

You Can’t Get to Heaven…

Old and New Verses for an Old  Song:

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven in Donald Trump’s car

‘Cause the damned old thing ain’t going that far.

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven on roller skates

‘Cause you roll right past those pearly gates.

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven with Pelosi’s new grammar

‘Cause the Lord don’t allow those who stutter and stammer.

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven from the electric chair

‘Cause the Lord don’t allow no fried meat there.

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven with VP Mike Pence

‘Cause he’s stuck sitting on a picket fence.

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven in a limousine

‘Cause the Lord ain’t got no gasoline.

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven reading fake news

‘Cause the Lord don’t allow no phony views.

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven on a Honda bike

‘Cause you’ll get halfway, then you’ll have to hike.

Oh, you can get to Heaven with the Capitol Police

‘Cause they can’t even keep the peace.

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven in dirty jeans

‘Cause heaven’s got no washing machines.

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven from the Senate floor

‘Cause Mitch McConnell never opens the door.

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven with powder and paint

‘Cause it makes you look like what you ain’t.

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven from Alex Trebek’s chair

‘Cause Mr. Trebek, he’s already there (eternal rest for $500 Alex).

And that’s the end, St. Peter said

As he closed the gates and went to bed.

Albert Bierstadt’s View of the World

When I see the natural world it looks like an Albert Bierstadt (1830-1902) painting:

Rocky Mountain Landscape

While Bierstadt is long out of favor for purportedly being overly gaudy, romanticized work, I like the magical impressionism in it. The world I see looks like the world Bierstadt saw.

According to the Bierstadt website, he “was a German-American painter best known for his large landscapes of the American West. In obtaining the subject matter for these works, Bierstadt joined several journeys of the Westward Expansion. Though not the first artist to record these sites, Bierstadt was the foremost painter of these scenes for the remainder of the 19th century.”

Colorado’s 14,065-foot Mt. Bierstadt, near Denver,  is named in his honor. I climbed many Colorado mountains nearby but unfortunately, school called me away to New York before I got to this one.

You can see a wondrous display of his complete works here.

Malcolm

Malcolm R. Campbell is a former mountain climber whose western novels include “Mountain Song,” “Sarabande,” and “The Sun Singer.”

Is this my country?

Wikipedia photographs

Some of you lost your innocence yesterday during or after the insurrection about the sanctity of the democratic process and the safety of those in the capitol building carrying out the work.

I first lost my innocence in 1954 when Puerto Rican nationalists fired 30 rounds from semiautomatic weapons in the House Chamber. Five representatives were wounded. Those who say yesterday’s violence was the first in the building since the British invasion in 1814 don’t know their recent history.

Plus, comparing yesterday’s insurrection to the British invasion is not only dramatic but carries the subtext that the mob invading the capitol building to protest what they believed was a stolen election is somehow of the same magnitude as the invasion. It was not a coup attempt in spite of what many politicians and media commentators said.

Many of us lost our innocence again and again during the Vietnam War when the federal government not only faked the Gulf of Tonkin resolutions that “legalized” our participation but seldom told us the truth about the conduct and progress of the war. As a supporter of Eugene McCarthy and a volunteer in the McGovern campaign, I note just how much the Democrats have changed.

Continued racism, violence in the cities, senseless foreign wars, the hoax of the Russian conspiracy investigation based on political angst, lies and faked documents, and the lack of a unified, countrywide COVID response have eaten away at our patriotic soul.

Nonetheless, giving up on our country is not an option. I still believe that.

–Malcolm

Happy Twelfth Night

“Food and drink are the center of the celebrations in modern times, and all of the most traditional ones go back many centuries. The punch called wassail is consumed especially on Twelfth Night and throughout Christmas time, especially in the UK, and door-to-door wassailing (similar to singing Christmas carols) was common up until the 1950s. Around the world, special pastries, such as the tortell and king cake, are baked on Twelfth Night, and eaten the following day for the Feast of the Epiphany celebrations. In English and French custom, the Twelfth-cake was baked to contain a bean and a pea, so that those who received the slices containing them should be respectively designated king and queen of the night’s festivities.” – Wikpedia

The front door looks empty without its Christmas wreath and garland, and so, too, the widows without their (battery operated) candles. The decorations have been stowed away in the garage until they come alive again at the end of the year.

I won’t be taking ale or even moonshine from door  to door while singing:

Wassail! wassail! all over the town,

Our toast it is white and our ale it is brown;

Our bowl it is made of the white maple tree;

With the wassailing bowl, we’ll drink to thee.

If I did, the cops would probably show up, and/or people would appear at their front doors with shotguns to inform us to “shut the hell up.” Either way, those consequences don’t seem very festive.

However you celebrate the beginning of the year, may you find hope and happiness in 2021 and all the traditional and/or personal epiphanies you need to ensure this year is better than last year.

—Malcolm