Malcolm R. Campbell's Blog, page 196

Dear Hertz, about that smoke-scented car

Dear Hertz,

My answer to this question is “no” since Hertz isn’t enforcing the policy by penalizing customers who smoke in the cars.

About that smoke-scented car from the Baltimore airport we rented on January 20th , it doesn’t really help to try and perfume away the smell left in a car left by the last user who apparently smoked like a chimney in spite of the DON’T THE HELL SMOKE STICKER.

Frankly, we think you should have charged that person more for ruining the car interior for future customers; then you could have given those of us who are allergic to cigarette smoke a debate.

When we rented a “no smoking car” we thought that meant the car wouldn’t smell like smoke. What do you think?

Blizzard rebate? (Rental car on left.)

On the plus side (health-wise) our allergies didn’t kick in as badly as they usually do because Jonas descended on the greater Baltimore area where we were visiting family and we couldn’t drive the car much at all because: (a) we couldn’t see the road, (b) the cops were giving tickets to people driving in the blizzard, (c) the car was blocked in the parking lot for several days.

Since Baltimore and Washington, D.C. had ample warning about the impending storm of the century, it would have helped if the car had been equipped with studded snow tires and a plough.

Do we get a blizzard rebate?

Just wondering,

Malcolm

P.S. When we asked your desk clerk how to get from the airport’s offsite car rental facility to the Interstate, his directions sent us into a fantasy world with streets nobody’s ever heard of.

 

Free Kindle Short Story: “Dream of Crows”

My Kindle short “Dream of Crows” will be free on Amazon between January 21 and January 23. (The story is always free for Kindle Unlimited subscribers.)

Description: After going on a business trip to north Florida, you have strange dreams about something lurid and/or dangerous that happened in a cemetery next to Tate’s Hell Swamp. You try to remember and when you do, that’s all she wrote.

Picture This: When a person has too much to drink and gets mixed up with a stunning conjure woman, exciting things can turn into dangerous things. That’s why folks need to be careful when walking into a bluesy bar where a temptress is serving drinks–and more.

Tate’s Hell Stories: This story is one of a series of books that are connected by one thing only: a forbidding swamp. The swamp, which is real, is on Florida’s Gulf Coast near the town of Carrabelle. You probably haven’t heard of the swamp or the town because they’re in what’s often called “the forgotten coast.” Those of us who grew up there hope it stays forgotten.

Obviously, this short story leans a bit into the paranormal side of things. You might also say it’s a bit experimental since you are the main character.

Have fun reading the story–if you dare.

Malcolm

 

 

 

 

about those days when we fight with our words

We try, don’t we, to make the words in our stories and novels flow smoothly like a languid river on a summer day. That seldom happens naturally; that smooth flow is often created with a lot of fits and starts before we get the words right.

There are days, though, when we fight with our words. On those days, smoothly flowing prose seems impossible.

If we don’t relax, we’ll never get the words right.

That often happens when we go into a scene not fully decided what it’s supposed to accomplish. Or, if we do know, then something else is out of sync: the character’s motivations and beliefs, our background research about subject matter outside our comfort zones, or that we’re trying to cram far too many things into a scene–which, in reality–would play out as a very casual moment.

What do you do when this happens to you?

I glanced at my last post here which was about moonshine, and thought maybe a few swallows of white lightning would smooth out the words. As tempting as that may be, it seldom works.

Fighting with the words usually doesn’t work either because the longer it goes on, the worse the scene looks. Pretty soon, it’s real easy to think that one ought to just quit the writing business and do something more honorable like teaching or working on the railroad or beekeeping.

One way or the other, one needs to take a break from the words whether it’s for an hour or a day and think about something else. This is why so many of us surf the Internet: we’re doing something else so we can avoid looking at that messy paragraph where we’re temporary bogged down.

If I stay away from the manuscript for a while with things seriously divert my attention, I’ll sooner or later start hearing the words of that troublesome scene flowing like a river again. Then I go back to it and start typing, wondering why the solution wasn’t obvious from the beginning.

Knowing when to step away is, I think, an important part of the writing process. Since none of us quite know how the creative process works, it’s easy for a fight with words to turn into serious doubts about our abilities as writers: How can such a simple scene become impossible to write? Why don’t we know what the characters need to say and do here? Where’s that smooth-flowing river of words?

I’m guessing most writers know what I’m talking about. We might follow different prescriptions for curing the problem? Maybe you go to a movie, read a magazine, work in the yard, stop at a bar where your friends hang out, anything to take your mind off the words that aren’t coming out right.

If you have a sure-fire cure, tell us about it in the comments. Your secret won’t make you rich, but you’ll feel better about yourself for sharing it.

–Malcolm

Librarians: My novella “Conjure Woman’s Cat” has been selected by Library Journal for its national Self-e Selection listing.  If your library is not already part of the program, click here for more information.

Moonshiners were misunderstood by too many for too long

“The South is no stranger to small-batch spirits. Moonshiners were microdistilling long before such a word existed. The clear (often questionable) spirit was available only if you knew someone who knew someone. But the landscape of legal moonshine has changed dramatically. Now, this grain distillate sits conspicuously in stores—all taxes paid. And according to the American Distilling Institute, the number of craft distilleries is growing by 30% each year. Here are some of our favorite “moonshines” to come out of the woodwork. And they actually taste good.” – Southern Living

I’m glad to see legal moonshine showing up in restaurants and liquor stores. Try a glass. You might be surprised. And now that it’s legal and sort of a fad, you won’t need to worry about lead poisoning because some clown used the radiator of his Ford truck in the still.

When I watch old movies that I’ve seen before, I always pretend I haven’t seen them before. That means pretending, for example, as I watch Kate Winslet running through the ship, that this time Titanic won’t sink and that Jack won’t die in the icy waters. I felt the same way about the moonshiner movie “Thunder Road.” I always wanted the movie to end well with moonshiner  Lucas Doolin (Robert Mitchum) getting away from the Feds forever and retiring in Cuba or Bermuda.

I grew up in a shine-free house (not counting furniture polish and floor wax) 

My parents, who didn’t allow booze in the house in those days, couldn’t figure out why I liked that movie, much less why I was on the moonshiners’ side in real life. Then, as now, I thought people should be able to make all the spirits whey wanted without any interference from the government. And what’s the deal with those taxes–really out of line, I thought then–and still think now.

This is one of the eight brands featured in the Southern Living article.

Moonshining was big in Florida where I grew up and big in the Smoky Mountains where we went on many vacations. I wanted my parents to pay somebody who knew somebody to get us a Kerr jar full of high quality shine. But they never did, stealing from my brothers and I what could have been a wonderful part of the vacation experience. Seemed like it would have helped us in school and kept us from getting summer colds and chigger bites.

Now, for research purposes only, I can taste it so that when I describe Eulalie in Conjure Woman’s Cat as making plenty of her own jick and sipping it regularly, I can make the scenes accurate. There’s nothing better than accuracy.

One challenge for the moonshiner, of course, was buying all that sugar and all that corn for the mash without attracting attention. Fortunately, in Florida one could grow sugar cane and buy the corn from a farmer across the road who loved the shine.

Nothing beats telling stories while passing the jar back and forth on the back porch. As kids, we had all the sugar cane stalks to chew and juice to drink we wanted because it was old on street corners. If we could have dipped those stalks in sweet, syrupy smooth shine, life would have been better for everyone.

Now with it being legal (as long as you take care of all those licenses and fees), the newspapers are no longer filled with those horrifying pictures of a bunch of cops chopping apart beautiful stills or smashing bottles of moonshine so it all went to waste.

Good Lord, it must have taken a special kind of stupid to dump a hundred gallons of Granny Henderson’s best hooch into the Wakulla River. 

Folks would be better off if there was more sipping happening now. At any rate, for those of you who are keeping score, when Eulalie and her friend Willie talk about the taste of apple-flavored shine in the novella, I’m writing what I know.

–Malcolm

 

Great Energy Shift? I don’t know, though we definitely need one

“As we are heading into the Age of Aquarius, new energies are encompassing our bodies and are reflected in various physiological symptoms. Within this transition of the ages, many people will begin to feel many of these energy shift symptoms on a regular basis as our bodies are adjusting and upgrading to the higher frequencies.”

– from the Esoteric Metaphysical Spiritual Database

Is there really a great spiritual energy shift coming? I have no clue. I do know what there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of spiritual coaches, mentors, facilitators, teachers and writers spreading the word across the Internet that the shift is coming or has already begun and that they have the meditations, symbols, light language, breathing exercises, visualizations, and podcasts that will definitively place you on the right road to be part of it all.

I hope they are right.

The world’s a mess now. We’re hearing this from both ends of the political spectrum, from experts at think tanks and research centers, and from mainstream and alternative religious leaders.

Perhaps there is a great spiritual transformation on the horizon. Or, perhaps there isn’t, but soon will be because it will be created by all the people passionately telling us that a great change is coming. Maybe they are creating their own self-fulfilling prophecy, assuming they aren’t really the first to know a secret the rest of us don’t accept yet.

In the 1960s and 1970s there as a new age movement with a lot of talk about the Age of Aquarius, the Silva Method, Transcendental Meditation, making love not war, and many people were convinced “this was it” in the same way others were convinced years ago that World War I was the war to end all wars. But then life went on with the same old problems and a lot of the new age faithful slowly returned to logical, mainstream lifestyles.

I often think we’re attracted to new age ideas and books like “The Secret” because we’re looking for a spiritual quick fix. I don’t necessarily think the beliefs behind the former new age movement or the current spiritual shift movement are wrong. My own beliefs are by no means mainstream. I just think it’s hard to stay the course. One goes to a spiritual retreat and returns to the real world freshly energized and with a new sense of purpose and certainty. But in the face of what the rest of the world thinks, they have trouble maintaining that high, keeping up with the visualizations and meditations, and slowly slip back into the muck of a mainstream lifestyle.

Perhaps there are more seekers now. Perhaps they have more endurance and will persevere in spite of the fact that everything they see in their workplaces, in their communities and on the news is telling them quite strongly they’re wrong.

At my age, I no longer have youth’s passion to be a preacher for any belief system, much less advertise myself on line as a spiritual coach. In fact, if I did have the energy, I wouldn’t do it because–great energy shift or not–I see beliefs as very personal and not something to be sold or taught. You’ll find some of my beliefs echoed in the beliefs of the characters in my novels. That’s the best I can do. I didn’t get the memo about a great energy shift, so I’m not going to try to convince you there is one, much less sell you a course about how to ride the whirlwind.

Truth be told, I’ve always thought that–as well-intentioned as  it may be–the missionary approach is misguided and arrogant. How can one say that his/her beliefs are better than the spiritual beliefs of another person or group? Perhaps I’m hiding behind my books. Hard to say. They are stories, though, rather than sermons.

My approach to spiritual ideas is that we all have the capability of discovering them for ourselves. I may be wrong about that, and since that’s possible, I won’t offer you a podcast or a DVD to bring you around to my way of thinking. If my novels and short stories suggest there’s something “out there” other than science, technology and doggedly earning a living, then I’m pleased. I don’t know any secrets to sell you, and that includes the real or imagined great energy shift.

–Malcolm

Malcolm R. Campbell is the author of “Conjure Woman’s Cat,” The Sun Singer,” and “Sarabande.”

Website: http://www.conjurewomanscat.com/

 

Magnolia might help you keep your spouse at home

If you live in the South, you’ve probably seen ancient magnolia trees in the woods all your life, and possibly you’ve stopped by a local nursery on more than a few occasions to add the dark green leaves and white flowers to your yard. In Florida where I grew up, we had the Southern Magnolia and the Sweetbay Magnolia. Your local native nursery is a good place to start, or if you want to know more about the tree in general, stop by the Magnolia Society International and take a look at their resources tab for practical information.

Sweetbay Magnolia – Wikipedia photo

The society notes that there are more than 200 species of the shrub/tree which are found in ” temperate, subtropical and tropical areas of southeastern Asia, eastern North America, Central America, the Caribbean and parts of South America. Many are now grown worldwide because of their beautiful flowers, shape and form.”

Medical Uses

Like many plants, the bark and leaves of magnolias have been made into medicine. Purportedly, the magnolia has been used to combat indigestion, stress, headaches, stroke and other aliments–including toothache. I can’t speak to the safety or efficacy of any of these, though you can find a blurb about it on WebMD .

In the conjure department

While researching my 2015 novella Conjure Woman’s Cat, I found that a lot of the plants I walked by in the Florida woods when I was young can be used for all sorts of magical purposes. For example, if you check out the web site of the Ritual Witch, you’ll find a section called Southern Magnolia Hoodoo.  Oils, bath salts, candles and mojo bags with a magnolia flavor to them can ramp up your romance.

Or, if you have your own magnolia tree in the yard and want to make sure your spouse isn’t following his or her wandering eye, hide or sew some of the leaves into your mattress.

This is cheaper than hiring a private detective and supposedly stops any “oops moments” from happening. There are a few more graphic spells and mojo bags that I’ll leave to your imagination, most of which seem to be sought after by jealous wives–yes, that sounds sexist, but I’m just reporting facts from my research.

As Catherine Yronwode mentions in her very handy “Hoodoo, Herb and Root Magic Book,” Will Batts recorded a song back in 1933 that said he didn’t want a jealous women because she would “put somethin’ in the mattress, make you wish you was dead.”  I have no experience with this, but why tempt fate?

Love magic and keeping your lover at home magic have always been a widely practiced area of conjure. Find a plant, and somebody has found a magical use for it. A quick Google search with the words “root doctor” or “conjure” in it along with the name of a plant or mineral will turn up more than most of us ever dreamt was out there.

Magnolia is more than a pretty flower it would seem.

–Malcolm

Malcolm R. Campbell is the author of the novella “Conjure Woman’s Cat,” about a conjure woman who fights the KKK with folk magic and a very loyal cat.

 

Conjure Woman’s Cat is on Sale January 6

If the King Curio Catalog were still published today, perhaps it would feature Conjure Woman’s Cat, a curious but hard hitting novella about a north Florida conjure woman who uses spells and tricks to fight the KKK. The Kindle edition is on sale January 6th.

January 6th is variously known as Epiphany, Twelfth Night and Three Kings Day. Odd as it may seem, there is a strong connection between conjure and Christianity, with practitioners featuring Psalms and Saints in their work alongside spells and charms.

On Three Kings Day, conjure women would be protecting their houses with Three Kings Water and by writing the initials (C+M+B) of the kings in chalk on their doorsteps. They might also be making Three Kings Oil and Three Kings Incense.

I grew up in north Florida during the 1950s where this story is set and have tried very hard to convey the times, the racial turmoils, and the belief in folk magic in this story as closely as possible to the realities I saw. If you download the novella on Three Kings Day, you’ll save $3.00.

Then, lose yourself in another world for only 99 cents.

Malcolm

P.S. My contemporary fantasy Sarabande is also on sale for 99 cents on January 6.

 

Writers: How Tall Are You?

“If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?

– T. S. Eliot

In his article in the January/February 2016 issue of Poets & Writers Magazine called “Project Empathy,” Lee Martin advises those writing memoirs to keep in mind that the words on the page will never be as real as the lives we have lived.

“We have to accept that fact and then forget it, so our subject matter won’t overwhelm us.” He goes on to suggest additional ways writers can approach difficult material…getting at emotionally charged issues through small details…letting the story tell itself without trying to say everything we feel about the horror of it or the joy of it.

In response to the quotation from Eliot, he says that “We should all feel as if we’re in over our heads when we write; that’s how we know we’re writing about something that really matters.”

If you have access to a library with a copy of Poets & Writers, I suggest reading this article whether you’re writing a memoir or writing a novel. I’ve often found the magazine available at Barnes & Noble stores.

When we think about how tall we are as writers, it doesn’t mean believing we’re taller than somebody famous. And when we think about writing about something that really matters, it doesn’t mean becoming full of ourselves because we are tackling an important subject of the day.

We do know what matters to us. We often avoid it, thinking who am I to write about this, thinking I can’t deal with this, thinking others have more dramatic stories to tell about this, and what this reminds me of are the lists of things we never want to talk about even with our loved ones or best friends. If you’ve known another person for a long time, you know what you cannot ask them because they refuse to discuss it. Maybe it’s something that happened in a war, the lost of a spouse or a child, a huge embarrassment at work.

If you have things you won’t talk about, they may be the stories you should be telling. Why? Because they’re important to you. Even in your silence, they have played a profound role in shaping your life. “Sooner or later,” writes Martin, “we have to face who we are in the world around us. We have to respond. We have to speak from the truest part of ourselves.”

When we respond–or, at least, try to respond–we find out how tall we are. A lot of us learn through the stories we read. We step into another person’s shoes and find out what it’s like to see what they have seen. What have you seen? Perhaps it will make a good story and perhaps it will resonate with the very people who need to hear it.

If you hurt while you’re writing it, you’re probably getting it right.

–Malcolm

Malcolm R. Campbell is the author of “Conjure Woman’s Cat,” a story about racism and folk magic in northern Florida in the 1950s. The Kindle edition is on sale for 99 cents on January 6th.

 

 

‘Willing Spirits’ – Look, it’s free for three days

What a better way to kick off 2016: a free ghost story. My Kindle short story “Willing Spirits” is free on Amazon January 2-4, 2016.

Picture this: you’re a high school student living in a drafty old house in St. Louis during a winter snow story. The power goes out. You light a candle in hopes that its feeble, flickering light will be enough. You have a book report to finish and it’s due tomorrow.

The author of the book is dead. She used to be famous, a spirit from another time and place who came to St. Louis years ago to be contacted by Ouija board and trance to give readings and write a few critically acclaimed books that swept the country by storm.

Now there’s a ghostly presence in your cold bedroom. It doesn’t take you long to figure out why she is or that her help may be a mixed blessing.

I hope you enjoy the book.

–Malcolm

P.S. The St. Louis ghost in this short story is real. To learn more about Patience Worth, click here. If you know where to look, you can drive by the house where she appeared to medium Pearl Curran. Now, perhaps, she has returned–if you believe ghost stories.

 

It’s time for the WordPress annual report about what the heck happened here

According to the gurus at WordPress, two of my posts were hogging most of the visitors in 2105. One of them is two years old. This years’s favorite is Okay, who in my zip code is an Ashley Madison User? and the still-visited post from 2013 is The Bare-Bones Structure of a Fairy Tale. The first one I understand; as for the second one, I have no idea why there are so many hits.

You can see the entire report here: https://knightofswords.wordpress.com/2015/annual-report/

As you’ll notice if you read the report, a lot of you are still curious about Navy slang, but fewer of you are looking up stories about the White House Boys this year as stories about the Dozier School in Marianna, Florida haven’t been in the news as often. I probably will have little or nothing more to say about the aircraft carrier Ranger which the Navy, showing lack of sense, decided to scrap rather than turn into a museum. (I’m biased about this, I know.)

Guest Posts

This blog has always been open to guest posts from other writers, though I have to say I never really solicited them. If you’re an author and want to contribute a guest post of 500 to 750 words, send me an e-mail at malcolmrcampbell@yahoo.com with the words GUEST POST IDEA in the subject line.

I don’t run guest posts that are direct sales pitches to buy a person’s book. However, I will run an author’s picture and a book cover picture for anyone whose guest post runs in the blog. To see what I’m looking for, take a look at How to Write a Decent Guest Post on my Sun Singer’s Travels Blog. Then, if you want to try it out, send me an idea of what you want to say or send me the post itself to the e-mail address above.

Meanwhile, I’ve appreciated the 15,000 people who stopped by the blog this year. Best wishes for 2016.

Malcolm