Nikhil Sharda's Blog, page 2

Indian Institute of Molestation

The Rape Academy of India (RAI), in coalition with its brother branch, the Indian Institute of Molestation (IIM), invites applications for Diploma Courses in Rape and Molestation, Sodomy and Murder, and also a 3 month certificate course in Hypocrisy. Applicants are requested to forcibly collect a pair of white panties from the assaulted body of a strange helpless girl and affix on it, using fresh semen, three attested copies of passport size nude photos of the helpless girl’s pubis and sent it to the address given below:

To,
Mr. Horny Man,The Rape Academy of India,Any street,Any city,Any where,All the time- 247365
About The Rape Academy of India
               The Rape Academy of India is an autonomous rape institution recognized by the Government of India. It comprises the Indian Institute of Molestation (IIM) and the Centre for Sodomy (CFS), two institutions highly regarded for their major contributions in the fields of physical harm and sexual violation of women. The Rape Academy of India is a professional rape centre which offers a variety of services in forced sex and assault of women and young girls. It is also the only institution in India that does not follow the regressive idea of affirmative action and gives an equal chance to rapists from all walks of life based purely on the merit of their raping.
Courses
1) Diploma in Rape and Molestation: The R&M Course is a full time, post-graduate diploma programme. It aims at giving young and aspiring rapists a professional outlook on the highly competitive field of harming women. The Rape Academy arms the young dicks with the expertise and skills needed to break into the pussy of unsuspecting bitches and smoothly leave the scene without getting caught. Students will also be educated on the history of rape, some of the great names in the field of rape, and also the latest innovations that has made itself inevitable in the arena of rape. Many renowned politicians, police officers, and various media personnel will visit the Rape Academy from time to time and conduct various rape workshops and educational seminars on pussy-bashing.
Electives: Amputee rape, Relative Rape, Date Rape, Moving Car Rape, Preteen Rape, and Gang Rape.
Eligibility: Anyone with a dick can apply.
Career Opportunities: Unemployed bum, Horny Loner, BPO Cab Driver, Pervert Neighbor, Lecherous Servant, Police Officer, Politician, Bollywood, Tourist Guide, Shack Owner, Teacher, etc.
2) Diploma in Sodomy and Murder: The S&M Course is a specific course meant for students that are strictly into ass ramming. It is designed to give a thorough knowledge in the field of ass raping and the subsequent slaughter of the victim. There is a strong emphasis on student performance evaluation through projects and practical assignments and on research work by the students themselves. The first semester provides a comprehensive perspective of asshole ripping and butt cumming; the second semester is project-based with hands-on production and execution to provide knowledge that is essential in the field of sodomy and murder. Highly esteemed members of several rape organizations like the ‘Blow Job Pirates’ and the ‘Salacious Indians Violating SExy North Americans’ visit the Academy to give lectures and narrate dick raising stories of real sodomy and murder.
Electives: Tourist Sodomy, Roadside Sodomy, Public Sodomy, Workspace Sodomy, Backseat Sodomy, Dead body Sodomy, Bludgeoning, Stabbing, and Drowning to Death after Sodomy.
Eligibility: Anyone with a dick or a sharp object can apply.
Career Opportunities: Member of the Parliament, Government Official, Minister’s Son, Bollywood, Political Kingpins etc.
3) Certificate Course in Hypocrisy: A three month short-term course in saying one thing and doing another. Students will be taught to engage in several hypocritical activities like salivating after and secretly harassing secretaries and interns while publicly denouncing women who dress in anything other than a ten-layered sari and a full-sleeved blouse. Students will also be given training in lying through their teeth and acting like a complete shameless retarded motherfucker. They will also be given training to appear on news channels and compare cheerleaders to bargirls while jacking off on the side leering at the reporter’s cleavage.
Motto of the Rape Academy: An unraped bitch is a terrible thing to waste.

Journal Extracts#14

Image by A PICTURES, New Delhi"It is early, early morning," she said, her voice suddenly low and mysterious. "Dark. We stand on a beach like this beach. First hint of dawn. Cold." 

We were there in the cold and dark with her, living her story. 

"In front of us stands our easel and canvas, we hold our paints and brushes." It felt like being hypnotized, by those dark eyes. I felt the palette in my left hand, the brushes in my right, brushes with rough wooden handles. 

"Now the light rises in the sky, do you see it?" she said. "The sky is turning to fire, gold poring, ice prisms melting into sunrise...." 

We saw, stunned in colors. 

"Paint!" said SHE. "Catch that sunrise on your canvas! Take the light of it on your face, through your eyes, spread it into art! Swiftly now, swiftly! Live the dawn with your brush!" 

I'm no artist, but in my mind was that glory, tuned to bold slashes on canvas. I imagines Sakshi's easel, saw her own dawn wonderfully delicate there, careful beams blended to a starburst in oils. 

"Done?" said SHE. "Brushes up?" 

We nodded. 

"What have you created?" 

I should have painted our teacher, that moment, she was so darkly bright. 

"Two very different sunrises." said Sakshi. 

"Not two sunrises," said SHE. "The artist does not create the sunrise, she creates..." 

"Oh of course!" said Sakshi. "The artist creates the painting!" 

SHE nodded. 

"The sunrise is reality, the painting is what we make of it?" I asked. 

"Exactly!" said SHE "If each of us had to create our own reality, can you imagine the chaos? Reality would be limited to whatever each of us could invent!" 

I nodded and imagined. How to create a sunrise if I'd never seen one? What to do with a black night sky to start the day? Would I have thought of a sky? Of night and day? 

SHE went on. "Reality has nothing to do with appearances, with our narrow way of seeing. Reality is love expressed, pure perfect love, unbrushed by space time." 

"Have you ever felt so at one with the world, with the universe, with everything that is, that you were overcome with love? She looked from Sakshi to me. "That is reality. That is the truth. What we make of it is up to us, as the painting of the sunrise is up to the artist."

At least you are you

"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."

You never know when you should stop doing what you’re doing, if it feels good. Some day, the things you do, provided they feel good, will grab you by the balls, and rip them right off. But then, not doing what feels good only delays that. So why fight it? We’re all the walking dead. Let’s indulge ourselves.The good part about having this basic philosophy thoroughly carved into my brain, is that it allows me to function. To elaborate, it allows me to overcome everyday nuisances like other people. Had I been one step below where I am mentally today, I would have been in an insane asylum, with the rest of mediocrity. Because that is where mediocrity thrives, and only there. Society only has room for the superior, and the inferior. Grey is an abstract, that is not allowed to exist. And rightfully so, because when someone is bat shit insane, who the fuck wants to have to deal with that on top of the every day inferiority we already have to suffer on a nearly constant basis?I can suffer said inferiority, for very simple reasons. I am great, and everyone else sucks. Now, this may seem contradictory to my goal of enduring other people, but think about it. I may have to crawl through the bleak horrid miasma of their existence, and their relentless recital of such, but the light at the end of the bog, or around the edges if you will, is that I don’t have to suffer being them.At first, I would long for inferiority. Hell, even the lure of a padded cell seemed tempting. Some times, knowing a lot is not knowing a lot. It is knowing too much. But, as you allow some, though not all, of certain prominent historical philosophers, to bury itself and meld with your mindset, you rise above that. And I do mean rise above it. Make no mistake, it will make you a conceited, arrogant fuck head. But at least you are not them.At least you are you.

Arguing with Myself

And So My Saturday Starts

Square Your Deeds with Virtue

The Mason’s square doth clear the air of folly and deceptionThe rule is straight, the angle clear, for greatness has directionBy the compasses abide the points within so far and wideNo pleasure sway nor profit tempt these bounds of Mason prideGreatness, what your virtues are good deeds practiced wide and farAnd that secret of Masonic love is learning who you really areFor the great Book knows what man can’t hideA life that’s measured from insideAnd on that bookThat oath we tookAnd we will break it neverBut stand by this (Compasses), and this (Square), and this (VSL)Forever and forever

Its just Commercial

I never realized how badly I needed a new washing machine until the sexy girl with the enormously titillating personality in a washing machine ad told me so; I was unaware of the importance of moisturizers in my life until a girl with the perfect pair of big round eyes in a commercial reminded me of it; I never thought lime-scented mosquito repellents completed me until  a lady with two massive mosquito bites in an advertisement told me so. However, when I found myself trying on ladies’ innerwear after watching a lingerie ad I considered that maybe, just maybe, advertising had the power to wreck your mind and was in fact the root of all things evil and demonic. 
Advertising has imparted four fundamental rules to human society-four rules which we hold close to our hearts like you holding this magazine. Rule one: People who can’t afford expensive commodities are equal to assorted pellets of monkey crap. Rule Two: Unbelievably attractive women who look like supermodels will choose you over filthy, rich body-building giants provided you use a certain brand of toothpaste or chew a certain kind of gum. Rule Three: You will be the most popular person in the world if you trust everything that you read, see, or hear around you. Rule Four: The world is a beautiful place as long as you keep buying stuff. 
Despite being tagged evil by most people with a functional brain, advertising does have a compassionate side to it as well. For instance, the world chooses to ignore poor people. Advertising, on the other hand, uses them. However useless the product might be or however terrible the concept of the ad might be, once you show the sad, emaciated face of a poor person and a rich guy helping him out by giving him two bucks, followed by the name of the useless product, it’ll seep into the barely active minds of the unsuspecting consumers and appear as worthy of being purchased. Advertising also has the big-heartedness to never ignore the unfortunate ones amongst us; those given the short end of the stick by fate; those stepped on and spat on by God himself. I’m, of course, talking about those of us who have been cursed with dark skin, pimples, freckles, dry hair, bad hair, no hair and teeth that aren’t as white as a polar bear’s butt. The panache with which such people are shown by advertisers can only be topped by the subtlety with which they portray women as sexual objects. 
Advertising boasts of being the breeding ground of geniuses. But then again, even Hitler was considered a genius by some people. With advertising, the best works are often deemed absurd. Commoners who do not have a sharp intellect like the industry people often fail to make sense out of really brilliant ads; they do not understand why an alien drinks soft drinks; they struggle to comprehend why a chimp playing bongos sells chocolates; it’s beyond them why a condom ad has a salamander in it or why a salamander ad has a condom in it. But they all make sense to the industry people. 
Advertising, if done the right way, has the power to sell even new inventions. I have come up with a very innovative idea that I believe would take the world by storm. My idea is to create shoes with in-built socks. Think about it; no more searching for matching socks, no more taking the shoes off and then the socks off. It’s all taken care of in one quick motion. I haven’t yet figured out a way to advertise it yet but I’m pretty sure I would find a way to sock it you. 

Ask Pachas Paisa #3 (or 50 Cent)

Just a few weeks ago my life seemed perfectLoved to live, never wanted to forfeitNever thought about death or about my coffinBut I’m popping pills and spending my time coughin’In my twenty five years I’ve never felt like I lacked an answerUntil the moment when I was told I’m being attacked by cancerMy family’s devastated and my life has come to a haltAm I to blame God? With who am I supposed to find faultAll that I ever lived for has suddenly just slipped outI’ve been reduced to nothing; I’m totally insane and flipped outI wish God would just tell me what I did to deserve this fateI have only loved and never ever worked to serve hateIt feels like hell when I’m awake and hell when I’m sleepingAll the people I love are either pitiful or weepingScrew all the morals and principles I lived byI’m through with abhorring sins; I’m left with no alibiThere is nothing in front except a voidI’m filled with a disrespect I can’t avoidWill God tell me what I did to receive this?I look around and see happy cheats and deceiversWalking around enjoying life with no diseasesI’m left with a crying wife whose life is split into piecesMy heart is bleeding and my pain never ceasesThwarted breathing, why can’t you save me oh Jesus?My treatment is just for some time, say all of the doctorsI’ll be soon rendered helpless, why does death have to mock us?An unhindered life needs only very little time to shock usWe can never predict what is there in store for usBut I know for a fact that life is indeed torturousCould be even tomorrow that I end up in a mortuaryWhen I was young I thought there was a burning torch for meBut now it’s been put out yet the infernal heat is scorching meAll this undeserved pain and shattered dreams I could have enduredWhy is my family too being battered and deeply injured?If only God had let me know this two years agoMy lovely wife wouldn’t have been fated to shed tears aloneMy heart breaks further when I think of my mother and fatherTwo people who thought I’d reach greatness and even fartherHere I am now sobbing and counting my daysThe cancer in me robbing the sun’s raysI’m now convinced destiny has nothing to do with one’s waysIt doesn’t matter if you’re into peace or into gunplaySome are forced to leave and some to just stayLife will slip from you whether you cuss or prayNothing’s left for me except pain and dismayI wish I was never born in the first placeI’m going to die clueless in this deathly maze
Death awaits me around the corner with a cold gaze
As a child I never thought I’d never see old age
I’m about to leave this book of life like a torn page
I placed in God all my trust to ensure my safety
Not knowing in my case he would be so hasty
He didn’t even let me know of my purpose
Instead left me to suffer like a rotten carcass
My heart beats no more and there remains a cold sore
People like fishes swimming to the ocean’s roars
I’ll soon be buried unnoticed in the depths of the muddy shores.


No Hope, Bombay.
Dr. 50 paise replies:
I won’t try to sound absurd by saying I know what you’re feelingWe all have experienced hard times when our lives were reelingBut what you’re going through right now is far too personalFor anybody to demand that you be calm and act rationalCancer is doubtlessly one of the world’s biggest cursesInto dejection and misery its victims it immersesLife suddenly twists contrary to what one rehearsesShattering dreams and the lives that each person nursesBut God is not unfair and he’s not a punisherHe’s the loving father and not a cruel admonisherDifficulties come our way as little tests of faithLife for everyone is a fierce struggle with fateCancer however can’t be termed as just another hurdleIt scars one’s vision with pits and blurred hillsIt’s unknown to this world the plans that the Lord makesBut he has a reason for every single life that he takesEverything around may seem it has changed for the worstBut a strong heart filled with faith should replace the outburstsPrayers have been proved to create great miraclesSincere pleas will help break manaclesEasy it is to have faith when the sky is clearBut the test really is when the dark night is hereYour life has not become a symbol of insignificanceLife becomes death when your interior thickensThey could have all the money in the worldBathe in gold, rubies, diamonds, and pearlsBut you’re surrounded by people who care for youOnes who’d die for you and be there for youDon’t think the time till now has been wasted hoursLife is a tree that grows through dry days and days of showersFilled with fruits so sweet and some that tastes so sourBliss and agony goes together like the fate of loversBeliefs and strength are never to be let go ofGod is capable of wonders one can never know ofDo not treat these lines as if they’re lines of false hopeGod is your balance when you’re walking life’s tight ropeThe heights you wanted you say haven’t been reachedThe promises you made yourself you say have been breachedGreatness isn’t measured by your riches or fameNor does it matter how many people recognize your nameWhat’s real are the hearts and lives you touchThe tears that you catch which you deem not muchThe broken lives you support by being their crutchGive yourself up to God and he’ll take away your painsAn honest man always suffers more than one who feignsClean hands are fewer than ones with bloodstainsGoodness sustains life and not merely food grainsClear your mind and focus on all that you have doneYou’ll realize your real journey has just begunIt’s leaving God’s Earth with a clear conscience that’s the purposeSpreading love and joy that can never be surplusLeaving other people’s lives better urges God to help usTo the rich and famous life is nothing but a circusFire and noise adorned with moments of fake sparklesMeaningless existence living out your fleshMeanwhile real life exists outside this meshFinding your self and finding the almighty LordResort to the feather and abandon the swordPray your heart out and search for the answerYour soul and spirit will never succumb to the cancerLeave your worries and submit to prayersFor those who trust have a place up the heavenly stairs.

I'm Here

The best way to explain how good this short film is is to tell the story of how I watched it. My wife is no sci-fi buff; on the contrary, she is someone who has not even seen Star Wars (the sacrilege). So settling down one night to watch a film together, I recommended we watch this short by Spike Jonze, all with the promise that we would watch a lighter rom-com afterwards. Not only did I not hear a word of complaint during the approximately thirty-minute running time, I witnessed the quiet appearance of wife-movie-tears at the film’s close.

The protagonist, Sheldon, is a robot with a head made of what looks like a CPU cabinet, from which he pulls a cable that he plugs into a power socket every night to charge. Not the stuff of exciting, light romance. From this starting point, the film manages to extract an extraordinary amount of sympathy through his minimalistic facial expressions. Jonze manages to show the humanity in very simple things: the day-to-day boredom of commuting, working, waiting. For viewers, these emotions are far more common than the passionate overexpression that film can often slip into. Seeing Sheldon do something day-to-day that we must suffer through as well, with the same melancholy that we saunter on with, has a lot more pathos than the obvious ‘do robots have emotion?’ gestures thrown around in other films.

The emotion conundrum has been couched in multiple ways by filmmakers for decades, but always with the ominous sub-text that robots may pose an existential threat because of it. Jonze is no ordinary filmmaker; he is one of the minds behind such mind-benders as Being John Malkovich, and Adaptation. His achievement in I’m Here is perhaps more impressive because he avoids his usual post-modern tricks completely. The simple sense of sacrifice that Sheldon possesses in the name of love is enviable. It is uncomplicated by human problems of selfishness, anger or frustration. When Francesca (with whom he has developed quite a tender relationship) comes to him first without an arm, he unscrews his as a gift; when she comes without a leg he does the same. In the end he is left as but a head: now picture that as the trade-off between love and self-interest. Sheldon possesses a purity of emotion superior to humanity. Why should our complex functioning minds be the ideal version of how emotion manifests?

The world of the film, independently of the powerful story at its core, has insights of its own. Sub-text is used to the level that Hemingway would’ve been proud of; there are histories told in the dialogue left unsaid, and the visuals simply mentioned and not explored. Francesca’s head is more anthropomorphised than Sheldon’s; it is closer to a face than his. Nothing is said of this. It simply reflects that there has been a generational development of robotics, and the corresponding treatment of robots has developed. When Francesca roars away in a car, an old lady at a bus stop yells (in typical ‘old lady on bus’ style – there’s always one), “You can’t drive”. This and the shots of worker robots earlier in the piece tacitly speak about a history of prejudice and subservience, referencing the roles we assume robots will fill as pieces of functional technology. But to get too bogged down in this would be to ignore the pleasantly simple emotional story of Sheldon and Francesca.

Andrew Garfield manages to capture a sense of vulnerability as Sheldon. The film is soft-spoken, subtle, and ultimately compelling. At no point in the thirty minutes are you bored, or annoyed by pretentiousness (a common flaw for a short). Jonze’s cinematic decisions are smart, and extremely touching. It is available on YouTube and I recommend you watch it – all of you.

Request to Join?

People make a big deal about really stupid shit everywhere. There are groups for the blatantly obvious everywhere on facebook, and if you fail to join a group for a good cause, the assumption is you’re a cold hearted douche or a terrible human being. There’s a group on facebook against rape, as if it’s required of me to state explicitly that I am against it. If I had the energy, I’d make 25000 groups for other things that are completely fucking obvious and see how it goes.

Hungry people should have something to eat»Paris Hilton should not attempt to perform open heart surgery»People in a coma shouldn’t operate heavy machinery»Don’t go on a shooting rampage against newborn babies in the maternity ward of a hospital
I expect at least 50000 likes for stating blatantly obvious banalities.

I thoroughly dislike that these bullshit groups exist and that people feel compelled to join them in order to show that they are against something as if someone needed reassurance that yes, rape is indeed a bad thing to partake in.

Don’t invite me to your dumb fucking facebook groups unless it’s at least a debatable issue. No one is for rape you dumb faggots.