Lora O'Brien's Blog, page 9

Let's Talk About Rape

It started with this article.  Feminists don't think all men are rapists. Rapists do.

I've posted it on my facebook page before, and it sparked some interesting discussion, but this morning I saw it re-posted on the pages of 3 different friends - 2 of whom were men.  Yay!  It's a great article, one of the ones that you read and go; yeah, that's RIGHT.

Thing is, on each one of those posts, a different guy came in with the same old arguments, completely diversionary and irrelevant to the article content.

When everything becomes taboo that is most dangerous. Mate, if the all the jokes we have laughed at would somehow be representative of our values....

Making laughter taboo is detrimental pc nonsense imo.

...the more you try to censor rape jokes and the more taboo you try to make it to talk flippantly about rape, the more the temptation for people to joke about it there will be.

Now, joking about hot button topics in a comedic setting is an interesting way of garnering attention and publicity for comedians, or attention seekers in general.  Making rape jokes may even be a healthy way for a survivor to deal with their trauma, to decompress, to dismiss lingering elements of what has happened to them.  I get that.  Breaking societal taboos and using humour to start or continue discussions can be an appropriate  psychological tactic.  That's not what we're talking about here though.

The article opens with pretty much what happened during the course of comments over each of those threads.  I talked about triggers for survivors, and trauma, and gave my personal experience of finding the daily sexism and rape jokes to be upsetting.  

It was explained to me by a nice young man how rape is taken seriously in society, and how rape jokes rely on that to have impact, to be funny.  

Click this to see how seriously rape (sexual assault) is taken in Irish society.  Or this. Or, try here - the child rapist who can't be sent to prison because he has a family to support.

Worldwide, women's experience with Everyday Sexism is a shocking, horrifying, testament to the fact that there is an inherent tacit acceptance of sexism and sexual violence in society, all societies. 

If you don't object to everyday social rape jokes, it isn't because you don't want to restrict those who are working to break taboo with comedy.  It's about hearing something that makes you personally uncomfortable, and simply laughing along because everyone else is.  Or joining in because everyone else does. Or worse - it's you not even noticing that it should make us uncomfortable, that it is edgy or taboo testing - because it's so NORMAL.

Society is not some amorphous blob hovering over Ireland, controlling our experiences (well, that's a weird thought that won't help me sleep at night - thanks brain).  What we say, what we do, what we accept everyday - all of that weaves together to become society.  What I do today, writing, speaking, participating in social media, talking to my kids, making or spending my money - I am society.  You are society, doing or not doing the same things.

Are you happy with how society is today?  Are you happy and content as an Irish citizen, living your life every day in this land, with these people?  What is wrong with our society that judges are comfortable, and allowed to get away with the type of 'punishments' noted above?  What is wrong with the people who believe it is acceptable, normal, to commit these crimes in the first place?  Where does the path start that leads to yet another rape victim?  It starts with the acceptability of everyday sexism.  It starts with you. 

Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.

So make a choice - are you part of the problem, or part of the solution?  What can you do to make a difference today? Share this post on your Facebook or Twitter, or any of the links in the article, and observe the reaction of your friends and family...

The National Anthem of Ireland

National Anthems come about, not because of the suitability of the particular words or notes, but because they are adopted generally by the nation. That is exactly how the “Soldiers' Song” became a National Anthem in this country. It happened to be the Anthem on the lips of the people when they came into their own and when the outsiders evacuated the country and left the insiders here to make the best or the worst of the country. It was adopted by the people here before ever it was adopted by the Executive Council.

Thomas F. O'Higgins, speaking at a Dáil debate on the "Soldiers' Song" in 1933. Did you know there are 3 whole other verses to 'Amhrán na bhFiann', the national anthem of the Republic of Ireland since 1926 (officially)?  What we generally hear is just the chorus, and many of my generation don't even know the words to that much.  

When I was growing up, you'd hear it on the telly when the stations were shutting down for the night.  Yeah, they used to do that, genuine downtime - weird isn't it?  You'd hear it after the show in cinemas and theatres, and at the end of every disco or dance.

It was written in 1907 by Peadar Kearney and Patrick Heaney, called "A Soldier's Song", and first published by 'Irish Freedom' - a monthly publication by the Irish Republican Brotherhood - in 1912.  The Irish Volunteers sang it on the march, in the internment camps, and the rebels sang it in the GPO during the Easter Rising.

Most of the versions you'll see online will be just the chorus, but you can Get the Full Vocals Here.  If anybody wants to link to a more, shall we say, pleasant sounding or better quality version, please do in the comments below.  Or y'all who can sing could sing it out for us, and upload or send it over to me.  Ideal!

Most of us though, should learn the words as best we can.  It's not just a political formality - this is the song your ancestors sung for their freedom.  The lyrics to the national anthem of Ireland are as follows, in Irish and English... but nobody sings it in English. As Gaeilge 1.
Seo dhibh a cháirde duan oglaidh
Caithréimeach, br'oghmhar, ceolmhar.
ár dteinte cnámh go buacach táid,
`S an spéir go min réaltógach.
Is fionmhar faobhrach sinn chun gleo
'S go tiúnmhar glé roimh tigheacht do'n ló,
Fa ciúnas chaoimh na h-oidhche ar seol,
Seo libh, cana'dh amhrán na bhFiann.

Curfa
Sinne Fianna Fáil atá fé gheall ag Éirinn

Buion dár slua thar toinn do ráinig chugainn
Fémhóid bheith saor. Seantír ár sinsir feasta
Ní fhagfar fé'n tiorán ná fé'n tráil
Anocht a théam sa bhearna bhaoil,
Le gean ar Ghaeil chun báis nó saoil
Le guna screach fé lámhach na bpiléar,
Seo libh, canaídh Amhrán na bhFiann.

2.
Cois banta réidhe, ar árdaibh sléibhe.
Ba bhuadhach ár rinnsear romhainn,
Ag lámhach go tréan fá'n sár- bhrat séin
Tá thuas sa ghaoith go seolta;
Ba dhúthchas riamh d'ár gcine cháidh
Gan iompáil riar ó imirt áir,
'Siubhal mar iad i gcoinnibh rámhaid
Seo libh, canaidh amhrán na bhFiann.

Curfa

3.
A buidhean nach fann d'fuil Ghaoidheal is Gall
Sinn breacadh lae na saoirse,
Tá sgéimhle 's sgannradh ' gcroidhthibh namhad,
Roimh ranngaibh laochra ár dt're;
ár dteinte is tréith gan spréach anois,
Sin luinne ghlé san spéir anoir,
'S an b'odhbha i raon na bpiléar agaibh:
Seo libh, canaidh amhrán na bhFiann.

Curfa
In English (seriously, NOBODY sings it in English)
We'll sing a song, a soldier's song
With cheering, rousing chorus
As round our blazing fires we throng,
The starry heavens o'er us;
Impatient for the coming fight,
And as we wait the mornings light
here in the silence of the night
We'll chant a soldier's song.

Chorus
Soldiers are we, whose lives are pledged to Ireland
Some have come from a land beyond the wave,
Sworn to be free, no more our ancient Ireland
Shall shelter the despot or the slave;
tonight we man the Bearna Baoghal
In Erin's cause. Come woe or weal;
'Mid cannon's roar and rifle's peal
We'll chant a soldier's song.

2.
In valley green or towering crag
Our fathers fought before us,
And conquered 'neath the same old flag
That's floating o'er us,
We're children of a fighting race
That never yet has known disgrace,
And as we march the foe to face,
We'll chant a soldier's song.

Chorus

3.
Sons of the Gael! Men of the Pale!

The Long watched day is breaking;
The serried ranks of Innisfail

Shall set the tyrant quaking.
Our camp fires now are burning low;
See in the east a silvery glow,
Out yonder waits the saxon foe,
So chant a soldier's song.

Chorus (repeat as if life depends on it)

Roscommon Talent

With all the work I've done for Roscommon Tourism, I've seen this lad's head a few times by now on the marketing materials, but I didn't put him together with one of my favourite Irish business' til I saw him on their website today.  I can be slow, yeah, but I get there eventually, ok?

That's another native of Boyle, Co. Roscommon, claiming international acclaim for creative talent - no not That One, or even
But what is this business that is one of my favourites, you say?  Oh come on, you must be at least passin' interested in what's going on here, unless it's a very slow lolcatz day on the interwebs.  This is worth your attention, I promise ya, it's *drumroll* Cartoon Saloon!  

I was already well familiar with the excellent work of the team at Cartoon Saloon, from the fantastic writing of Colmán Ó Raghallaigh at the Cló Mhaigh Eo publisher, with The Táin being a particular favourite - because I'm awful biased like that. 

Then the Secret of Kells came onto my radar (long before it was Oscar nominated, I'll have ye know), and I was blown away.  Here is artwork that captures the spirit of Ireland, the myths and legends, the land and the stories, expressed in a way that sings and weaves a unique spell of entrancement.  Visually, I've never seen or felt anything even close to this level of accurate visual and artistic expression of the true magic of Ireland.

When I started watching Chris O'Dowd's Moone Boy, I was fairly tickled by the short animations peppered throughout, and I recognised the work of Cartoon Saloon before I read about their involvement.  Pure class.

There's so much more to these talented feckers, both in the back catalogue (you can get a proper run down on what they've achieved on their own website), and yet to come I'm sure.  Just remember though, they may be based in Kilkenny, but Roscommon was the original spawning pool for at least half of that genius.  So there.

Irish Children Suffer. Again.

THE JOURNAL, THIS MORNING:
THERE HAS BEEN widespread anger and criticism of a number of creches after an RTE Prime Time programme which showed young children being mistreated by staff.

The programme, ‘A Breach of Trust’, aired last night and showed staff aggressively handling children, shouting at them, and fabricating entries in daily diaries detailing what the children had done that day. In one incident, a baby was left in a high chair for two hours, while other children were strapped to their chairs for long periods.  READ FULL ARTICLE HERE.

Well... Shite.

I'm wondering how many parents were lying awake last night after watching RTE's Primetime episode (excellent journalism, by the way, give those guys Ryan Tubridy and Marian Finucane's wage as a bonus between them, and sling the usual lot off the telly altogether - who's with me on that one)?

I've seen Facebook posts to the tune of 'Never EVER will I leave my kids in creches... there's always a choice love', and Tweets about how we need independent inspectorate of childcare, and more investment by the government.  Oh, and the HSE Rep on the radio this morning doing fecking nothing to address any parental concerns.  Faffing, is all it was.

Truth is though, for so many Irish families this morning - if there is a choice, it's an untenable one.  Give up your job because you're afraid of what might be happening to your kids in daycare?  What kind of choice is that?  This is reminiscent of Leo Varadker's head-up-his-own-arse comments about women giving up their jobs if the cost of childcare is too high.  This is yet another cost, another source of stress for the modern Irish family.  

We DO need independent inspectorate of childcare, and more investment by the government.  Is it going to happen?  My elbow it is, unless we change the government entirely.  That lot are too busy paying the banks and digging up shcandal on each other.

Is this a women's issue?  Ideally, no, but practically, it probably is.  I'm willing to bet there there are a lot more freaking out mammies than there are daddies right now.  Not that the daddies care any less, but there is (generally speaking) more inherent responsibility and guilt bred into the mammies.  We're trying to change that, of course, but for now it's a reality we're dealing with as best we can.

I'm a solutions person, but I'm not sure what the solution is here.  As a parent - ask questions.  You're paying, you're the customer, and you have every right to get as much information as you need to feel secure in leaving your kids in day care.  Take all the time you need.  Turn the place over, question the kids, the staff - it should all be an open book.

Fundamentally though, nothing is going to change until the government does.  If you're moaning about the lack of accountability, lack of investment in childcare, lack of support or transparency, I ask you (and you'll hear this a lot from me) - DID YOU VOTE?

Copyright © Lora O'Brien, All Rights Reserved

How to Be a Writer?

Isn't it a question we all ask ourselves? Well, all of us who end up clicking the post titled 'How to Be a Writer' on an author's blog, at least.

If you want to become a writer, but you're not sure where to begin, you're certainly not alone.  My publishers get questions every day that all boil down to the same basic queries: you want to know 'how to be a writer', and 'how to be an author'?  So, I've put together a few tips and guidelines about writing a book.  (Freelance article writing is a little different, but if you're interested in how to freelance, I love freelance writer Jenna Glatzer's excellent guide, which you can check out on Wolfpack Publisher's Recommended Reading page.)

If you want to be an author though, to see your name on the front of a lovely fresh non-fiction book, or stunning debut novel, then it's time to start writing the book.  I know, sounds obvious right?  You'd be shocked at just how many budding writers and authors don't actually get round to this part, even though they seem to have plenty of time to set up Facebook profiles or business pages, and send query letters to publishers!

The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants 
to the seat of the chair.
― Mary Heaton Vorse

So, you need to start writing, or finish writing, if you've already started.  There are two quick questions for you to ask yourself so.

Q.1    Do you have a rough plan, plot, or proposal mapped out, a basic framework or structure for your fiction or non-fiction book?
Q.2    What's your total word count at now, and what does it need to get to?

For Question 1, if the answer is no, then that's what you need to be doing right now.  Stop the research, quit telling your friends how awesome your book will be, and get a plan in place.  Don't know where to start?  A Writing Consultant can help, or check out the Recommended Reading section if you'd prefer to figure out how to write your book for yourself.  Do it today!

For Question 2, most new writers are a bit clueless.  What's an acceptable word count for your type of book?  It varies of course, but there's an accepted general guide.  Bear in mind, that it can wobble around by as much as 15,000 either side, depending on how well put together and tightly edited your final manuscript is.  The only things that are really frowned on are an author picking the shortest word count because he's afraid of how to write that many words, or an author not paying attention to proper story-line or editing and leaving the story ramble on for thousands and thousands of words of unnecessary, confusing, babble spew.  Yes, that's a highly technical term, we'll have you know.  

Generally speaking then, when you're writing a book:
Young Adult runs to about 45,000 words
Non-fiction runs to about 70,000 words
Regular Fiction runs to about 100,000 words

Taking a look at your book plan from Question 1, you'll have a rough idea of what chapters and sections you want to include, and probably even topic and titles mapped out.  For non-fiction, 10 to 15 chapters is normal, while fiction is a choose-your-own-adventure type of fairground ride, with whatever chapter type and structure suits your work.  Romance might run to the lower end of the word count for fiction, while sci-fi or fantasy fiction often runs higher.  There's no real hard and fast rule for that though.

Now, you have a structure, you have a target, you know what you have achieved, and what you have yet to do.  If you have a deadline to work to, then figure on how many days per week you can write, how many writing days til your deadline, and how many words you still have to write - leaving time for editing and word count for cutting of course.  Good rule of thumb is a month (or two, ideally) for editing, and about 25% more than your targeted word-count, for fiction.  Non-fiction has a narrower cut margin generally, but still leave 5-10%.

If you don't have a deadline, then you need to set one.  What writing time do you have available per week?  How long, roughly, does it take you to write say, 500 words?  Yes, sometimes it flows faster, and sometimes you're dragging the words like pulling teeth, but give it an estimate at least.  Aim for 500-1000 words per day, minimum, and how many days per week to reach your target word-count, plus extra editing percentage.  Now, you have a date.  Add 1/2 months for editing.  Now you have a delivery to publisher date (the publisher will have their own schedule and time frames after that, but you need to write the damn thing before you're going to be looked at).  

Whatever your daily or weekly writing schedule looks like now, set it by word-count, not time spent at desk.  And don't move your bum from that chair til your word-count is done.  Do you want to talk about being a writer, or do you want to be a writer?  Then write. If you like what Lora has to say, Join the Mailing List for free articles, offers and discounts, sent out monthly. Or, monthly-ish.

Lugh Comes to Tara

It was fierce cold for sure out there, away from the light and heat of the feast.  Owen hated gatekeeping duty, but it was his turn and that was that, so there he sat.  Young Fionnuala had slipped him a wineskin full of the best from inside in the kitchens, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been at least.  He could hear the occasional strain of the harp though, and the odd waft of roasted meat drifted up to him even there, causing his mouth to water and his belly to rumble, and his mood to darken even further.  He’d told Fionnuala there was no need for guard duty this night – the walls at Tara were the soundest in the land, and sure everyone who would be coming was inside already.  Nobody missed a feast of the Tuatha De Danaan. 

Sudden thumping from outside the gates jolted him out of a doze and made a liar of him,  for there was most definitely someone there who wasn’t inside already, and didn’t want to miss the feast at Tara, judging by the clatter they were causing.  Owen made his way down to the small gate and pulled back the hatch so he could see the head of whoever was outside.  

The warrior, for he was undoubtedly a warrior, was alone, and he looked pleasant enough.  There was a fierce brightness about him, even in the gloom of the evening, which Owen couldn’t account for, so he left that thought alone and reverted to his customary gate query – who was this stranger disturbing the peace at Tara, and what did he want.  He was called Lugh, this bright warrior, and he wanted to join the feast within.  But sure the seats were all full, and everyone who was supposed to be coming was inside already; what did they need another for?

Well, it turns out this young man could lay claim as a master Builder, one of the best in all of Eireann, and surely that would gain him a place at the King’s table?  But no, Owen said, for the Tuatha De Danaan already had the best of Builders, and sure what would they be needing another for?  Well, it turns out this young man was also a master Brazier, one of the best in all of Eireann, and could keep the fires in all of Tara lit and tended no matter what came.  Surely that would gain him a place at the King’s table?  But no, Owen said, for the Tuatha De Danaan already had the best of Braziers, and sure what would they be needing another for?  Well, it turns out this young man was also a master Harper, one of the best in all of Eireann, and his music would soothe the very soul of any who heard it.  Surely that would gain him a place at the King’s table?  But no, Owen said, for the Tuatha De Danaan already had the best of Harpers, and sure what would they be needing another for?  They progressed through a range of skills:  Lugh was a Smith who could craft with any metal, a Champion of all games and arts, a Poet who could charm or curse with equal skill, an Historian who would recite the families and battles of all Eireann through the ages, a Cup-bearer who would never spill a drop, a Magician who could control the very world around them, and even a Physician who could cure all ills, excepting if a head be cut clean off.  But no, Owen said, for the Tuatha De Danaan had all of these people skilled in such things, and sure what would they be needing another for?

Ah now, says Lugh, and tell me Gatekeeper – but do you have any man or woman within the walls of Tara who can do ALL of these things?  Owen was forced to admit that no, they did not, and the stranger was welcomed on the back of that.  Lugh was announced as the Ildanach – the many skilled one – and that was the first we heard of him, though not the last.  But sure, they are all stories for another day.

Copyright © Lora O'Brien, All Rights Reserved