Brandon L. Clay's Blog, page 19

The Journey - Is Your Check Engine Light On?

"I think I can...I think I can...I think I can..."  There is not one of us that doesn't remember that from elementary school...right? "The Little Engine That Could" by Watty Piper. I remember the pop-up book, the record on the phonograph that "beeped" to have you turn the pages...and the cartoon.   Ok, admittedly a little cheesy for grown folks but the lesson it teaches is timeless and applicable to everyone who is trying to achieve...  For the more sophisticated people, here is a quote from a man who knew a thing or two about engines...and success;   "If you think you can do a thing, or think you can't do a thing, you're right." Henry Ford Do you think you can? In the process of the Evolution of Completion, everything begins with thought.  What are you thinking right now about your abilities and your future?  The thought of the moment becomes the moments of the future. How do you change or direct your future? You change or direct your thoughts in the direction you want to go. I know that is easier said than done. Thankfully, all thoughts are completely within your control. Negative thoughts are tough to deal with, especially once they have been allowed to "run wild".  Negative thoughts have to be replaced with a new pattern of positive thought. Positive thoughts have to be developed through persistence and determination...sound familiar?  "I think I can...I think I can...I think I can."  Thoughts are a form of television (visualization) and we are the producer, director and actor controlling the story through the power of imagination.  There is no limitation to the imagination and therefore, no limits to what we can accomplish! Yea, yea Brandon...no limits...everything has limits! Remember the Flip Phone? Antiquated and old school I know... It was born from the communicator on Star Trek because someones imagination "saw" it first.  Think "Beam me up, Scotty" is out of reach?  There are people working on particle acceleration to open up wormholes that manipulate time and space...yes, my inner nerd resurfaces! Point is...someone out there "Thinks they can"...and they will. You may be dreaming what you think is an impossible dream; I want to make six or seven figures in salesI want to build an agency.  I want to quit my part time jobI want to be on top of the leaderboardI want to hire a team to help me build my business Like the Little Engine you have a unique and specific vision to focus on and manifest. Even if you are in fear you can create a powerful vision to believe in.  A vision so vivid and consistent with positive imagery to create an anchor for your belief.  The last couple of days I shared a story about my life that at one point would have been embarrassing, but today is simply a testimony... Why? Because I did it... Just like The Little Engine after it delivered the toys repeated on the way back down the mountain, "I thought I could...I thought I could...I thought I could." Your Mind Is Your Engine...are the thoughts it is producing today taking you to your desired outcomes or...  Is Your Check Engine Light On?  Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success! Next Time: The Journey - Mind On My Money!"

The Journey - Get Better

Math problem...  What is answer for 220 minus 180?   That's easy Brandon...40.   Give that pupil a gold star!   Now put "lb" at the end of each number...what is the answer?   Yikes!  That would be the correct answer... That was the "disconnect" between what I saw in the mirror (and on the scale!) and what was still on my drivers license from 10 years ago...good thing I was never stopped for speeding...I didn't resemble my picture! Natalie never made me feel bad about gaining weight (except the TD Jakes thing!).  Actually, I had lost the sting of that moment and had gotten back into my normal routine...I worked out...looked good in suits...ate horribly, but felt good... Until Aruba...the beach...and the prospect of no shirt! I passed a mirror at a local store and thought...who was that? Yes, it was me! Immediately after seeing myself in the mirror, I saw a magazine.  Natalie saw it too and said something I had not heard in a year... "mmm!"   This time it wasn't for me...it was for Shemar Moore - the goatee wearing hunk from soap operas and Criminal Minds. Can I catch a break?I had to admit...he looked good...and he is only a few years younger than me.  Once again, I was faced with the choices of Get Bitter...or Get Better!  This time, I made a decision...a real one.  To Get Better.  I secretly bought the magazine to get his "secrets"...an easy way to Get Better.  Turns out there is only one way...Do the Work!  The next day, I borrowed the car and went to a local park and did something I had not done in almost a decade... I ran.   The sweat was pouring from the heat and humidity...it burned my eyes and drenched my shirt.  That day, I ate better (all things considered - I'm still in Aruba!) and stepped on the scale the next morning...219.5   A step in the right direction! Where is your disconnect?   Does your perceived daily effort in sales line up with your bank account?   Yea...it does (you will only get out what you actually put in...not what you think you put in!)  Do the work!  Does the production report line up with your real abilities and potential?  No...it doesn't (you are much better than the report shows!)  Do the work!  There is a process that will "connect the dots" of your perception and your results and it is outlined in the Evolution of Completion that we will review over the next several days.  It has taken 2 years, but I am now almost back to my freshman in college weight and I think I could give Shemar Moore a run for the money...don't you dare hit that "Reply" button!  I can hear the applause over the internet, but don't clap for me for who I tried to be...  Clap for me for who I used to be ...  Now (physically anyway) I am closing in the best me I can possibly be...comparisons to anyone are no longer necessary.  That is what I want for you...  To be one of a kind. To be that extraordinarily exceptional version of you...for you to  Get Better...  Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!Next Time: The Journey - Is Your Check Engine Light On?

The Journey - Mirror, Mirror!

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? A world-class successful sales person (I hope so)...  or someone else?  Yes, I am talking about your self image...your perception of yourself that gets reflected out to the world.  It has everything to do with how much struggle...or success you will have. Before we pick on your self-image...let's pick on mine (I am secure in myself...ok...sort of!). A few years ago, Natalie and I were in one of our favorite places on earth...Cabo San Lucas at the Pueblo Bonito Sunset Resort and Spa (yes, that is a link - but no commission for me!)  I was in the pool and Natalie was poolside sipping on a Margarita skillfully made by our good friend Omar.  As I exited the pool, I heard something I had not heard in a while... "mmm!" I looked around to see if some strange woman was cat-calling me (it could happen!).  I turned my head to see Natalie raising her glass and she said it again... "Yes, I am talking to you...with that goatee you're sporting you look like Blair Underwood!"     Hey, I have been married for 27 years and any sign I still "got it" is welcomed.  I was sporting facial hair for a vacation look...going for sexy...mission accomplished!  Blair Underwood was the smart, confident, eloquent, and exceptionally handsome lawyer on L.A. Law in the 80's.  Most recently, he was the love interest in "The New Adventures of Old Christine"...his name was Mr. Harris on the show.  "For the rest of this trip...I will call you Mr. Harris!" she cooed...  (OK, I will stop there...her father reads this everyday!)  Fast forward a few weeks and I am on the road, I am using my I-Pad from the hotel bed to Face Time Natalie...  "Hey...it's Mr. Harris calling," I said in my sexy deep voice...the memory of Cabo still lingering...for one of us anyway."From this perspective, you look more like T.D. Jakes," she said nonchalantly.  I knew Tuesday night was not Margarita night but still...  Look, I love my man Jakes, even send him money...but he is no Blair Underwood (except of course to his wife, Serita!) The wind was knocked out of my sails.  We spoke for a few minutes...the kids, the dogs and the laundry...standard stuff. That left no doubt that Cabo was dead!  After we hung up, I quickly did two things... I shaved off my goatee...and I looked in the mirror.What do you do when the world's perception of you doesn't match the one you want them to have?  Let me ask it another way...   What is the worlds perception of sales people?   Yikes!   What is your perception of yourself as a sales person?   Are you giving it your all to be the best you can be?  Are you raising the bar of our profession through excellence and self-development...   Or are you doing just enough thinking that is ok?   When I really looked in the mirror I realized that I was seeing something that wasn't really there.  I wasn't mad that I wasn't Blair Underwood or T.D. Jakes...  I was mad because I wasn't the best Brandon L. Clay I could be.  That's the point...when the perspective between what is and what should be disconnects you have a choice...  You can get bitter...or get better (that's tomorrow!)...but for now you have to take a good hard look in the...  Mirror, Mirror...  Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success! Next Time: The Journey - Get Better!

The Journey - EOC & SSSL

Happy Monday...EOC and SSSL?  My healthcare colleagues will immediately think EOC stands for "Evidence of Coverage" that binds the policy we just sold our clients... Wrong! My former Georgia Tech buddies will think this is one of the reasons I flunked out of college(correction I left before they could kick me out!) and that I have put one more "S" in SSL which stands for Secure Socket Layer for encrypted protection of documents and transactions on websites...hah! Wrong again!  These two acroynms are the foundation for The Journey that we will take over the next few weeks as we seek to improve your must important product... You. To Get Better at the things that matter most in your life.  Back to EOC and SSSL... These acronyms are the foundation of life and give us a process and progression to count on...a basis on which to trust that life is not just chance and random happenstance...that we have a measure of control of how things go in our lives. EOC stands for Evolution of Completion. Before you conjure visions of Curious George, I am not talking the Darwin variety... I am referring to Evolution as defined by Webster; "The process of change, development and growth in a certain direction" I am not the originator this concept...that belongs to Ghandi & James Allen ("As a Man Thinketh")...it has been used in various ways by many (including me!) and outlines the progression of life...the Evolution of Completion that outlines and defines how we ended up where are are today...  and how you will get to where we you want to be tomorrow.  Here is a graphical outline; In essence, the Evolution of Completion says that what you think becomes your words, becomes the actions you take and habits you form.  That defines your character and drives your reputation...which ultimately is your destiny.   It defines what you will accomplish...from your sales goals to the quality of your relationships... everything in life.   We will go deeper into that progression.   What about SSSL? It is an acronym to describe the stages of life that we go through from "cradle to grave". Struggle to Success to Significance to Legacy. Matters not which phase you are in right now...purpose and passion will move you along the continuum until you reach the next phase culminating in Legacy.Throughout The Journey series, I will outline these concepts and how you can leverage them to live life at a higher level.  I have been teaching these principals since 1994 when I began my mission of "Helping Millions Achieve Success...One At A Time".   I have revised my program "You. Change. Now!" which is available on Amazon in paperback and e-book...  Shameless plug but shame on me if I don't put the tools in front of you...  Get ready to go on The Journey...  Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!

Can You Keep A Secret?

What is our obsession with the word "Secret"? The Secret to a 7-Figure Income...attention getting...right? "I will let you in on a secret"...that gets them listening E.F Hutton style.  Whether it's of the little or big variety...matters not! The Secret - I have to admit...it's on my bookshelf! "Secret...strong enough for a man, but made for a woman"...yes, I have used Natalie's in a pinch and they are right! Put the word "secret" in anything and the allure increases.  It creates a mystique of something special, that only a few could know.  I have had publishers and book consultants tell me to use it in my titles, or at least in my synopsis. I refused.  Why?  I think you deserve better.  I don't think I know something you don't know.  Yes, I have condensed several lifetimes in my 49 years (just gave that secret away!) and have had experiences you may not have.  Yes, I have the gift of assembling words in a way that conveys rich ideas, heartfelt emotions and action-inspiring syntax...my genius was never a secret! Someone once asked me, "What is the "secret" of life?" "No secret...enjoy it...it's going to happen to you anyway!" The natural follow up, "What is the "secret" to your success?" "Live it on purpose and with passion".  One line answers to complex questions are always difficult (little wonder politicians plead The Fifth!) no matter how cute they may sound.    If you have learned anything about me, you know I believe in going deeper... If you wanted to sell more of a product what could you do?  You could lower the price, or you could make it invaluable... then price wouldn't be an issue!  Don't lower your life to a level of mediocrity, complacency or conformity to those around you!    Be the best you possible.  Raise your game to a level that you reach "rarefied air"...where the law of contrast makes you stand out from the 1,000's of sales professionals who aren't willing to work on their most important product...  Themselves.  Life is complex and to achieve the things you want in this life requires you understand "The Secret" is not really a secret at all.  The real challenge for most of us (me too on occasion) is that the answer is within us ...the last place most of us are willing to look.    For a few weeks, I am going to help you go deeper into who you are, what you are capable of and give you tools to release your greatest potential...  Want more sales? Want to have more success than you ever thought possible? Then take The Journey with me... I will show you how it's done...on one condition... Can you keep a secret?  Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success! Next Time: The Journey Series

Two for One!

"Omnes pro uno, unus pro omnibus."
 Latin for "All for one...one for all" ...impressed? (you should be...I can Google with the best of them!) Do you know how hard agreement really is?  Get 5 colleagues together and ask the simplest question...  "Where does everyone want to go for lunch?"  High powered exectutives that just made billion dollar decisions take 15 minutes to come to agreement...thankfully, in marriage...it only "takes two to make a thing go right" but The Power of Agreement is easier said than done in marriage, too...(don't agree with me...they may be reading over your shoulder!) I once heard someone say, "It doesn't matter how many people agree with you as long as the right person does". There is a supreme power of true agreement.  Genesis 11:6 says that  "Where people are one (in unison) that nothing they have imagined to do can be withheld from them."  Agreement requires you to communicate openly, to plan strategically, and appreciate the mutual support frequently...yes, that's gratitude - in good times and bad!  We need our spouses to understand to be in a position "to stand" with us.  Natalie and I have have been happily (ecstatically!) married 27 years and the level of success we have enjoyed the last 13 years makes it look like a carefree "charmed" life. Nothing could be further from the truth. We have had to fight for every victory and I can now say in hindsight, that I would not change a thing!  As I met my wife when we were 14 and I knew right away she was the one. She was beautiful (still is), sweet, quiet and unassuming back then...but make no mistake... my wife is a WARRIOR!!!   I bet your spouse is too...given the opportunity to prove it!  In the 3rd year of marriage after we lost our first house, we sat down and wrote out three core agreements. I believe in them, and think that if you cater them to your house and live and die by them, you can build the Power of Agreement.   Here are our agreements: #1 - I agree not to use threats and ultimatums when things aren't going the way I want them to.  Fine print: This includes using money or intimacy as "weapons" (grown folks know what I mean!) #2 - I agree that we won't expose each other's weaknesses and our challenges to others - yes, including family!  Fine Print: Keep your business off of Facebook please! #3 - I agree to fight - not each other. We will fight the circumstances that we are facing and continue fighting as a team...until we win!  Fine Print: When you win...then expose your testimony to bless and encourage others... that is what I am trying to do here! During our highest points of struggle, my wife and I remained "quiet".  Afterward, I would tell people we were not being secretive...we were being sacred.  I know that for some, the last week of Daily Sales Crumbs may have seemed obscure  and I hope you never need the advice given. But some of you needed this and should go home tonight and show this to your spouse, I would bet that some version of this is what your spouse has been longing to hear.  The Power of Agreement multiplies effort, authority, and helps you stay focused on the battle in the field and not create friendly fire at home. I know that once you engage the Power of Agreement things will get better...quickly!  When people see you and your spouse, they should see... Two for One! Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success! Next Time: The Journey

The Power of Agreement!

"Let me grab your briefcase," my youngest son Christian offered.
 "I've got his paperwork," said Chaz, my oldest son. "Looks like you had a great day," Natalie said holding a six month old Faith, our daughter.  "Yes, I sold 8 today!" I said triumphantly. "I will update the board," one of the boys shouted and ran off to get the hand-written poster board with numbers all over it. It was 1996.  Just under a decade after we had gotten married.  There had been some good times...and some really rough ones financially. I had just gotten a job as a Medicare Risk agent (a decade before Medicare Advantage!) with a Fortune 50 company.  Finally, preparation had met opportunity.  Every instinct in me told me that this was for real...we needed it to be. I had just transitioned from a claims position within the company.  A good position with benefits for a growing family but the income was limited.  I had tried several sales jobs during that decade but calamity and necessity mandated I find a "secure job". Before I took the job, I called a family meeting.  We had a lot of those and always included the kids...especially after the BBQ debacle!  I outlined the opportunity in such a way that they could all understand ...sharing the M.V.P Award.  During the Vision stage, I told them that each client I enrolled would pay me an additional $50 per person and that if I hit 100 in a month, it would double to $100 per enrollment (hey, Medicare folks...it is 1996!)  I then did the most powerful thing I could have ever done;  I tied them to the goal... I told them that everyone could have "Christmas in July" if I sold 100. They all jumped for joy, running and dancing.  The scene in my mind brings back the joy...and tears... They created a Jerry Lewis style telethon tote board...pictures of what they wanted pasted all around the bulb at the bottom and fireworks at the top with a big "100". It was the Power of Agreement. They had a stake in my success.  They took genuine interest.  I told them stories of the lovely people I met each day.  The job came to life for all of us.  Natalie did my paperwork (I hate it!), the boys helped me with thank you notes (which later became a summer business they started for over 50 agents - Lick'em and Stick'em - I raised entrepreneurs!) The Power of Agreement is what Napoleon Hill calls in "Think and Grow Rich" a Mastermind Alliance.  "The coordination of knowledge and effort of two or more people, who work toward a definite purpose, in the spirit of harmony.  No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible intangible force, which may be likened to a third mind [the master mind]." Each day, I woke up with a fresh sense of opportunity, and when I crossed the threshold coming home (sometimes very late), I was celebrated...not tolerated.   As you may have guessed, I wrote 110 applications and everyone got their prize.  In 1996, I entered the 100k Club - which had seemed out of reach for so long.  Largely from the Power of Agreement that was forged from the bottom to the top...excluding no one's voice. We didn't do that every month but the support never stopped.  The celebrations continued...but most importantly,  The Power of Agreement still lives in our household 18 years later! Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success! Next Time: Two For One

Contents Under Pressure!

July 4th...family BBQ at Natalie's parents house...large family...lot's of conversation.  Most of us are in our late 20's building families and careers...comparing notes. At the time, I had a retail selling job with a boss that had a third degree black belt... He didn't know karate... but he knew Ka-razy (that's "crazy" for the non-James Brown aficionados - the Big Payback...one of my favorites!) "Yes, my current boss is impossible.  He makes it difficult for our store to be a success," I finished with decorum and diplomacy for the circle of listeners.  My younger son, who might have been 6 years old at the time jumped in... "You said he didn't know his head from his... (mother's hand over the mouth was just in time!)  Hey, what happened to being seen and not heard!  Sweat now pouring from my brow.  Everyone knew I said it...and yes...I did...but in the sanctity of our home, in a private conversation with Natalie as the kids played video games...or so I thought.  "What made you repeat that?" I asked on the way home. Silence - now he has comedic timing! My older son spoke up and said, "We don't like the way he treats you and you should beat him up and show him who is boss." Yes, if only video game justice prevailed in real life.  I realized that the kids had begun to hate my job on my behalf.  So did Natalie...except she had the maturity of understanding the paradoxical balance between me walking off...and walking away .   I also realized that I had not given them a full rounded view of what I did for a living - I actually loved that job .  I was a manager of a very busy men's store selling upscale suits to business clientele and I got a 40% discount!  Your spouse (or kids for that matter) has no way of knowing if you are really stressed out...or energized until you share the final component of our M.V.P Award;. The Pressure  I had shared the pressure, but not in a way that was enabling...only debilitating. Did you know pressure, or stress comes in two varieties? Eustress and Distress. We all know what Distress is, but what about Eustress?  It is Greek for    "Stress that is deemed healthful or giving one the feeling of fulfillment."   I am connected to an industry that markets Medicare Advantage products to eligible beneficiaries - mainly seniors.  Each year, we have an Open Enrollment.  It is a time of chaos and frenetic activity as millions of beneficiaries and 1,000's of agents scramble to do all that is necessary to help them make a decision and to be successful.   The #1 thing I hear during this time...  "The AEP stresses me out!"  The #2 thing I hear (yes, from the same agent just moments later when tasked)  "Oh, I love the AEP!"   They love the action, the pace, the opportunity.  Yes, some of the requirements are arduous and repetitive...but necessary.  Your spouse has no way of knowing if you are really stressed out...or energized... Until you share The Pressure. Both kinds.  Be real about what is disagreeable, but also balance it with the good parts.  When a room of agents get together in these environments, we understand one another...we feel each other because we can relate.  Semantics are part of the right of passage... to complain about something we love.  Give your spouse the tools they need to relate to your job.  The pressures great and small, the difficulties that you overcome because of your gifts and talents.  The distress and the eustress.  Sales is not easy but you are gifted to handle it... They should have a deep sense that you are in your element...that your contents are not under pressure! Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success! Next Time: The Power of Agreement!

20/20 Vision!

Back in the early 90's I had hit the big time, gotten my series 7 license and began selling securities... The firm fell under scandal and I left...hey, it wasn't me! I wanted a legitimate opportunity so I went to The Rock (no, not Alcatraz...for the last time I told you I wasn't involved!)... Prudential is The Rock I am referring to. The first interview was a "cattle call" with over 100 people in the room.  It cleared quickly once the facilitator announced it was straight commission. Been there...done that...I didn't flinch...and then there were 40! In the 2nd interview I dazzled them with a stand up selling role play in front of the 39 other candidates.  I have NEVER been afraid to get up and speak...just not to girls 1:1 in high school.  Give me a break...I already explained that on Friday!   And then there were 10! When I got the call for the 3rd interview guess what they made me do?  Bring my spouse...   What?   You heard me...for 1 1/2 hours she was their main focus.  Presentations, questions about me, about life and goals.  The audacity...the unmitigated gall! The sales director told us at the end of the interview that of the 1,000's of sales people they hire, the most successful were those that had supportive spouses.  So spouses were prescriptively given a deeper view of the company, the opportunity...  The Vision.   At the end of that long night only 4 of us remained....spouses were the difference maker. That is the 2nd component of the M.V.P Award that you are going to give your spouse... The Vision.  Do you have a vision for your business?  It's ok if you don't, but it is not ok if you don't make one...now! The vision is a blueprint of what you want your business to become, to grow and evolve to.  I know that paying bills may be the short term vision but that is not enough motivation for you...or your spouse. Think sexy (got your attention right?)...go wild (just stay off the chandelier!) Do you want to build an agency or call center? Do you want to hire staff? Do you want to become a high six-figure earner or be a  7-figure giant in your industry? Do you want to contract with additional companies and integrate additional lines of business into your portfolio?  The Vision should be compelling, energizing and support the family goals that will be largely funded through this enterprise.  The new home, the car, the kids college education are not the vision for this exercise...it is the business that will be the primary finance vehicle that is the star of this vision show...your business!  More importantly, The Vision should be shared... "Where there is no vision...the people perish"Proverbs 29:18  Marriages die from a lack of unified vision... di-vision . No one can get excited about something they are not included in, or that they don't understand.  That is a lesson I learned from The Rock... Oh yea, after 4 grueling interviews and 3 weeks, I got the job...  I didn't take it...  Their vision wasnt our vision .... We held out for 20/20 Vision...  Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success! Next Time: 20/20 Vision!

Show Them The Money!

The fifth week of that job was magical... I sold one system. Natalie and I celebrated...  The next week, I sold 4 systems and the week after that 8!  I outlined the process that I used to breakout on this post "Give First...Get Later .   We were finally out of the danger zone and into the happy zone.  I had become so used to drawing blanks that drawing a check become a new adventure...especially since they went from $0 (literally) to $800 to $1,000 to a stratospheric $2,000...in a week!    Good for 2014 but really good in 1988! What did we do next? We had planned together on how to make the money...now we planned together on how to use the money. The first component of the M.V.P Award is Money.  Seems simple enough, but imagine that couples fight, disagree, and divorce when they KNOW what their income and expenses are. The unpredictability of sales exacerbates the situation and the ups and downs of sales income can wreak havoc on marriages that are not built on firm foundations.  I am not going to play financial planner or counselor (though I did that back in the 1990's with a Larry Burkett/Dave Ramsey type radio show - ahead of it's time!) but there are a few things I present for your consideration; Keep one bank account.  Unless you have more than the FDIC limit for insurability, you should pool resources.  Yes, I know some people that prefer "your money, my money" but that di-vides the household.  A house divided against each other...you know the rest. In marriage - Adding multiplies...subtracting divides. Set spending limits - Create a upper limit on much each other can spend without consulting the other person.  Early in our marriage we could not make a $20 decision without a committee meeting.  As things got better it went to $50...$100 and as high as $1,000.  Funny thing.  Now that we are successful, we still discuss what we are doing with money.  It is not a game of "Mother, may I?" but just makes sure no one is "surprised" by new golf clubs or expensive purses.  The "B" Word - Make a Budget.  Running a household is just like running a business.  You should have projections that run at least 90 days forward.  Beyond the money in and money out equation there are a few other things that a well-balanced household budget would contain;  Giving, Saving, Investing (back into your business) and Fun.  If your budget is at a deficit then build your plan with lean living.  Focus on increase of business income as priority.  Like my mom used to tell the bill collectors, "You will get it...when I get it!" Show Them The Money - The number one thing I hear when I meet spouses is that they don't understand the basics of how compensation is earned and paid.  Yes, I have worked with companies that had Black-Scholes formulas for their commission programs let alone reconciling to make sure you are paid accurately.  If you don't understand, how can you blame a spouse for their rightful concern.  Spend time showing them how you make money...the opportunities and the pitfalls. There are a host of other things that I could outline but I think you get the picture.  The few things outlined are to get you started to open a sensible dialogue.  You know what your situation is and what is needed... I challenge you to plant a "seed" of change that will yield a harvest of unity and peace.    Matters not if you are looking for a miracle to pay your mortgage this month or closing a mortgage on a million-dollar mansion...marriage is all about openness, sharing and agreement. Sharing money keeps expectations of how the family business will treat windfalls...and downfalls.  It confirms and affirms a joint understanding of how the precious commodity of money will be used to further that family enterprise. Go ahead... Show Them The Money! Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success! Next Time: 20/20 Vision!