Curtis Edmonds's Blog, page 17

Let It Go

I am not watching the Frozen DVD with you. I’ve seen it twice now. You must have seen it twelve times, at least. Forget it.

And, no, I don’t want to listen to the soundtrack again. I understand that you like the music. The music is just fine. The problem I have is that whenever you listen to it, you sing along with it at the top of your lungs. Then when I ask you to stop doing that, you just keep singing, very softly,and for some reason that’s even more annoying.

I’m not saying you can’t listen to any music, but pick something else. Anything else. I don’t care. You can play the Tangled soundtrack for all I care, and I’m sick to death of that, too. Just play something else. Anything else.

I do not want to build a snowman with you, and before you say another word, I know it doesn’t have to be a snowman. It’s an expression of how much Anna misses her sister. But we don’t miss each other like that. We’re almost tripping over each other all the time, especially when you start pretending that you’re ice skating. And by the way, stop doing that.

No. Stop it. Do not pretend that you’re Kristof and that I’m the reindeer. Stop. I don’t appreciate when you do that. It’s not cute, and it’s not funny. Quit it.

And now you’re pretending that I’m the snow monster. Cute. That’s a very mature response, there.

I know that Josh Gad does the voice of the snowman. I’m the one who told you that, remember? I’d seen him off-Broadway at that spelling bee thingy, and he was annoying in that, too. And, no, I don’t know if they’re going to do a Broadway musical about Frozen. It would be hard to do the special effects in a stage show.

Now you’ve got me talking about it.

You are correct that the movie never explains how Elsa’s powers make the snowman be able to walk and talk. Olaf, yeah, whatever. She’s magical. It doesn’t have to make sense.

Can we please talk about something else? Anything else? Anything at all that doesn’t have to do with Frozen or Anna or Elsa or Adele Dazeem? Please? For the love of God, already.

Jeremy, listen. You’re thirty-two years old. It would be one thing if you were five and obsessed about Disney animated movies. But you’re not. Please. Give it a rest, or I swear I am going to go on Craigslist and find another roommate.

If you say one thing about my heart being frozen, I am going to kick your ass from here to Arendelle. I mean it, Jeremy.

Looking for Audiobook Reviewers

As I said not too long ago, RAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY is now available as an audiobook, at Audible and elsewhere. If you review audiobooks, and would like a free copy, please contact me at curtisedmonds (at) gmail (dot) com and let me know. I’ll ship you one of the (very few) codes that I have for free audiobooks.

RAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY Audiobook Now Available

My novel, RAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY, is now available as an audiobook. It took a bit longer than I would have liked to get that accomplished (over a year after the book was published), but now it’s available and you can get it at Audible or Amazon.

Teams I’ve Seen

This is a chronological list of the last time that I’ve seen specific American and National League teams play. I am not quite sure why I am doing this. All dates are approximate.

2013

Texas Rangers (at LAA)

Los Angeles Angels

San Diego Padres

Los Angeles Dodgers

New York Yankees (at SD, LAD)

Toronto Blue Jays (at NYY)

2012

Boston Red Sox

Seattle Mariners (at BOS)

2011

Kansas City Royals (at TEX)

2010

Baltimore Orioles

2009

Philadelphia Phillies (World Series)

2008

Colorado Rockies (at PHL)

2007

Cleveland Indians (at TOR)

New York Mets (at NYY)

2006

Minnesota Twins (at NYY)

2005

Atlanta Braves

Houston Astros

Pittsburgh Pirates (at LAD)

Washington Nationals

2002

San Francisco Giants (at HOU)

2001

Tampa Bay Rays (then “Devil Rays”).

1994

Milwaukee Brewers (at TEX)

1991

Detroit Tigers (at TEX)

1976

Cincinnati Reds (at HOU)

After that it gets kind of murky. I remember seeing the Reds play in the Astrodome when I was 7; I didn’t get back there until I was maybe 25 or so, and I don’t remember who the Astros even played in that one. But that game stands out, mostly because our seats were so bad.

I am sure that I have seen, at some point, the White Sox and the A’s at the old Arlington Stadium, but I don’t remember a specific game, and I’ve never been to Comiskey or U.S. Cellular or Oakland.

I do not ever remember seeing a Marlins game or a Diamondbacks game in person, although it’s possible. I am fairly certain that I’ve never seen a Cardinals or a Cubs game.

I’ve been to nine of the current AL stadiums and four of the current NL stadiums (not to mention three former AL stadiums and four former NL stadiums). You’d think that I’d have seen every team play at some point, but I haven’t. The two games that we have planned for this year are Rangers at Nationals and Rangers at Mets, so I probably won’t add any to the list this year.

The Political Spectrum

INFRARED – Although these “longer-wavelength” voters appear all but invisible in most polling data, they make up a surprisingly large part of the political spectrum. Key issues for voters in this demographic include supporting additional funding for high-tech communications links and night-vision goggles for police and military applications.

IMPERIAL RED – These highly conservative voters show unusually strong support for interventionist, internationalist foreign policy efforts. Favors an aggressive, expansionist model of projecting American power overseas, combined with advocacy for larger defense budgets and upgrades to the nuclear arsenal. Marketers target them for purchases of epaulettes, swagger sticks and patent-leather boots.

SANGRIA RED – These low-income Republican voters skew young and Hispanic, and support immigration reform, better treatment of migrant workers, and student loan relief. This demographic tends to favor cheap wine, organic fruit, and staying at home on Saturday night with friends and complaining about their finances instead of going out to clubs and drinking expensive whiskey.

BLAZE ORANGE – These independent voters support Democratic initiatives regarding infrastructure improvements and improving access to outdoor recreation areas. However, members are highly skeptical of gun control and oppose construction of new prisons. This demographic correlates strongly with hunting license renewal applications and venison sausage consumption.

TANGERINE – These independent voters tend to cluster in Florida and California and prefer their political rhetoric on the tangy side rather than the sweet side. They favor federal citrus subsidies, healthy snacking initiatives, and strengthening of US-Morocco ties.

HARVEST GOLD – These reactionary voters show intense suspicion of post-1970’s advances in home decor. Among all interest groups, these voters express the highest levels of concern with regard to higher gas prices, increased conflict with Iran, and the return of polyester leisure suits.

HEMP GREEN – These voters have been dominant in far-flung locations like Humboldt County, Colorado, Maui, and Oregon liberal arts colleges, and are a decisive demographic in Colorado and Washington. This demographic favors looser border controls and Medicaid funding for alternative and herbal medicines. Compatible with many other voters in different parts of the spectrum, including “Nacho Cheese Orange” and “Cool Ranch” demographics.

KELLY GREEN – These voters will act friendly for a while when you meet them in a bar, and will let them buy you a few drinks, but then will claim that they have a boyfriend waiting for them back at their apartment and won’t respond to your texts. And then they block you on Twitter for no good reason, except maybe that they’re just stuck-up because people have been telling them how pretty they are their entire lives, when they’re really just borderline attractive.

CAMBRIDGE BLUE – These voters went to school in England and won’t shut up about it. Typically have their diplomas, in Latin, tacked up to the wall of their office where you can’t possibly miss it. Known to wax poetic about the parliamentary system and HP sauce. Support neo-colonialist foreign policy positions and single-payer, government-operated health care.

MIDNIGHT BLUE – These voters are focused on putting in additional hours or working a second job to pay for student loans or credit-card debt. They typically get their news from late-night repeats of “Hardball with Chris Matthews” while going over balance sheets or contracts on their laptops. This group strongly supports the inclusion of over-the-counter sleeping aids in health care savings accounts, daylight savings reform, and tougher snooze-alarm regulations.

INDIGO – These environmentally and spiritually conscious liberal voters typically prefer natural dyes, folk music, and mystical exploration of the third chakra. Voters in this category are likely to come up to you at cocktail parties and ask if you can see their aura.

PLUM – These highly affluent liberal voters cluster in the mid-Atlantic region and tend to be either lobbyists seeking high-level government employment or government employees seeking

high-level lobbyist positions. Sometimes found on college campuses, where they gravitate towards faculty senate positions and occasional stints as murder suspects. Upon retirement, demographically reclassified as “Prunes.”

ULTRAVIOLET – These “short-wavelength” voters tend to have high Vitamin D levels, cool sunglasses, and a higher incidence of skin cancer. Such voters support traditional environmentalist issues, but notably shy away from chlorofluorocarbon bans and other attempts to protect the ozone layer.

A Template For An Enviable Asset

The Atlantic:

To some writers, Vera Nabokov remains much more than “just a wife,” but rather a template for an enviable asset. It’s undeniably easier to prioritize one’s art with a 24/7 writing coach who also manages “the mini-country that is home,” to quote novelist Allison Pearson.

I have a very quick, very short response to this. It is HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Two quick points:

If you consciously think of your spouse as an “asset,” enviable or otherwise, you are an ass. Your spouse is a person and maybe he or she has better things to do than lick your God-damned stamps.
Yes, Koa Beck. Yes. It is undeniably easier to write if you have a 24/7 writing coach who also does all the shopping and all the cleaning and reads and edits your content and shines your shoes and picks up the kids from day care and treats you like a little tin god. You know who has that? NOBODY. Maybe Nabokov did, and power to him if he did, but it is incredibly laughable and silly to think that anybody in the Year of Our Lord 2014 is going to sit still for that kind of thing.

My wife and I both have jobs, and long commutes, and twin five-year-olds who take up an enormous amount of our time. I have to shoehorn writing time into that little sliver of time between when the kids go to bed and when I do. Sometimes I’m up late writing, and sometimes I’m up early in the morning and right, but other than that, the amount of spare time I get to use to write is minimal. (Not to mention that I’m a bad person and I like playing video games when I get a free hour or two on the weekends.)

Instead of beating people up because they don’t have a Vera Nabokov folding their umbrellas for them, how about giving people a little slack?

The Way I Wear My Hat

This is a ranking of North American sports teams based on how cool I think their hats are. I don’t expect anyone to ever read this.

Tier One: Hats I Own

Texas Rangers (red)
Texas Rangers (charcoal)
Texas Rangers (green)
Texas Rangers (blue)
Texas Longhorns (orange)
Chicago Black Hawks (red)
Houston Astros (navy)
San Diego Padres (navy)
Baylor Bears (white)
Los Angeles Dodgers (royal)
Dallas Cowboys (blue)
Dallas Cowboys (white)
Grand Prairie Gophers (blue)
Grand Prairie Air Hogs (black)
San Antonio Missions (khaki)
Somerset Patriots (blue)
Somerset Patriots (maroon)
Boston Red Sox (charcoal, with #49 for Tim Wakefield Day)
Boston Red Sox (charcoal, “Futures at Fenway” game)
Baltimore Orioles (black)
Georgia Tech Yellowjackets (charcoal)
Toronto Blue Jays (blue)
Washington Nationals (red and blue)
Philadelphia Phillies (light blue)
Philadelphia Flyers (orange)
Minnesota Twins (gray)
Trenton Thunder (light blue)
Chicago Cubs (navy throwback)
Rutgers Scarlet Knights (black)
New York Jets (green)
Boston Red Sox (navy)
New York Yankees (khaki, worn only for camoflauge)
West Indies cricket (maroon)

Tier Two: Hats I Am Thinking About Purchasing One Day

Detroit Tigers (navy)
Chicago Cubs (royal)
Philadelphia 76ers (depends)
Philadelphia Phillies (maroon)
Washington Nationals (red)
Boston Celtics (green)
New York Rangers (blue)
Hillsborough Raiders (maroon)
Augusta National (green)
Any and all Cowboys or Rangers world championship hats, if and when

Tier Three: Hats I Might Buy One Day If I Ever Felt an Overwhelming Need

Pretty much any minor-league team where I actually go to a game and they have a cool hat
Special event kind of hats
Pittsburgh Pirates (black)
Kansas City Royals (blue)
Milwaukee Brewers (royal)
Atlanta Braves (charcoal)
Denver Broncos (blue or orange)
Edmonton Eskimos (green)
Nippon Ham Fighters (any color)

Tier Four: Hats I Don’t Care About One Way or Another

Most basketball teams
Most hockey teams
Most college teams
Most other sports
Most AFC or National League teams
Any defunct teams (Oilers, Whalers, etc.)

Tier Five: Hats I Will Never Put On My Head For Any Reason

New Jersey Devils
Any MLS or soccer team
Tampa Bay Rays
Indianapolis Colts
Baltimore Ravens
Oakland Raiders
Minnesota Vikings
Seattle Mariners
Oakland A’s
Los Angeles Angels
New York Yankees (blue)
Cleveland Indians (Chief Wahoo, specifically)
Los Angeles Lakers
San Francisco Giants
St. Louis Cardinals
New York Giants
Philadelphia Eagles
Washington Redskins
San Francisco 49ers
Pittsburgh Steelers
Any current Big XII team other than Texas or Baylor
Mizzou Tigers
Nebraska Cornhuskers
Colorado Buffaloes
Arkansas Razorbacks

Tier Six: Hats That Are Accursed Among Men

Texas A&M Aggies

Everything Is Awesome (Sort Of)

My wife and I took the children to see The Lego Movie last weekend. Child B is the one who frightens more easily, so of course it was Child A who spent the entire movie in my lap. Right before the end of the movie, Child A decided she couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to leave. My wife took her out of the theater. At that moment, Child B (who had not shown any ill effects from the action and violence in the movie despite being too afraid to watch Thomas the Tank Engine because of the occasional train crashes) became agitated–not because of the movie, but because her mother hadn’t taken her coat with her. So she had to leave, and I had to go with her, and I have no idea how the movie ended, and now I’m going to have to pay to see the ending at some point, and I am only pointing this out to say that everything is not awesome all the time. Sometimes things stink. Sometimes you are right in the middle of multiple different things and you have to deal with it because that’s how things are.

I have three different things going on right now, and here’s the status of all of them:

1. Promotional stuff for RAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY. The 99 cent promotion that I did through BookBub was over two weeks ago. I would like very much to tell you how well I did, but the problem is that I just don’t know. I can say that RoYWD did very nicely on Barnes & Noble for the first time. I took RoYWD off KDP Select in August 2013, and hadn’t had a single sale on B&N ever until late February 2014. After the BookBub promotion, RoYWD went into the top 100 on the Nook list, which was a nice thing. It went into the top 500 on Amazon’s e-book list. I even got a few sales on Kobo, which I hadn’t done before, and one on Smashwords. (I have no idea why I do so badly on Smashwords; I think it’s kind of a cultural thing.)

The problem, though, is that I have no idea whatsoever how well I did at Apple. I’ve sold one book there, that I know of, in February. For whatever reason, I wasn’t able to get a merchant account set up through Apple, so I can’t sell RoYWD there directly. I was able (after a copious amount of elbow grease) to get Smashwords to ship the book to Apple, which is fine even though it allows Smashwords to take a cut. But what I didn’t realize is that Apple only reports to Smashwords once a month, and so I have no idea if I only sold a couple of books there or if I sold a lot. I’d like to know one way or another so I know whether I should market that channel or not.

2. The audio book for RAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY. It’s almost done. I am listening to it now, in dribs and drabs. At first, I couldn’t listen to it–couldn’t listen to the stuff I wrote myself. (I don’t listen to audio books anyway–no good reason why, I just don’t.)

I started to kind of get into it, and when I listened to something I had written that I knew I had just nailed, I enjoyed it quite a bit. But when I heard something that I had written that came off clunky, or a place where I had a mistake or a continuity error, it really sucked. (I won’t tell you about the biggest error, but I didn’t catch it, and neither did any of the editors, and so far not any readers–although one reviewer did spot a different error in the same chapter that I am still embarrassed about.)

If you’re writing, you owe it to yourself to listen to your audiobook. You will learn a lot.

Anyway, I don’t have a date on specifically when the audiobook will come out, but it should not be too much longer.

3. WREATHED. I am about halfway through the latest round of edits. I am about at the point where I have to rearrange the structure a bit and move some pieces around, and I am not really thrilled about that, but it isn’t a patch on what I have to do about the ending. The entire thing is about 70,000 words, despite all the edits, and it is probable that the additional chapter or two I have to add will bring that up a bit. I am hopeful that the editing process will be done by the end of April, but it may be quicker than that.

So. Is everything awesome? I don’t know. It may be, later, after I’ve had a chance to work through everything I need to do with these projects. I still only have a minimal amount of time to do self-publishing in the day (and much less time to do blogging). One day, I expect to have another book out, and an audio book, and maybe an upgrade to this page, and time to work on the Depressing Country Songs project, and who knows what else. But that time is not now. Much work lies ahead. Ogden Nash once wrote a poem about “Duty,” and complained that she wasn’t a “cutie,” and he was right about that.

Mostly for Androids

Just to let you know that RAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY is now available on Google Play, in case you want to, you know, buy it there as opposed to anywhere else. You’re welcome.

Your Self-Publishing Self-Evaluation

It is the nature of self-publishing that you have to do everything yourself. (That’s true even if you hire people to help you: you’ve still got to decide whether your editor is right about any given edit, or whether the the cover designer you hired has come up with something good or not.) You’re the CEO, and the CFO, and the head of the creative division and the guy (or gal) who takes out the recycling. And you’re also the one who has to evaluate how well you’ve done.

Self-evaluation requires commitment, self-discipline, and the ability to put up with things that suck, because self-evaluation sucks. Yes, self-evaluation is valuable. Yes, self-evaluation is necessary. But self-evaluation sucks, and everyone hates doing it, because nobody likes dwelling on their weaknesses and nobody likes thinking that their strengths aren’t so hot, either. Self-evaluation is brutal and you have to do it and it’s awful and stop crying about it and just do it already.

What I’ve done is put together a self-evaluation form for people who are getting ready to publish their first book and don’t have any experience in doing it. The only suggestion I would have for anyone who really wants to use this as an evaluation tool is total honesty. There aren’t any (or at least not very many) right or wrong answers. And you don’t have to share the results with anyone (although it would be cool if other people blogged about this, and tried it, and shared).

Obviously, if you don’t think this is helpful, or that it doesn’t apply to you, just ignore it or whatever. And, yes, there are a couple of jokes thrown in. If you have any suggestions for additional questions please leave them in the comments or tweet them at me or whatever.

SELF-EVALUATION FOR FIRST-TIME PUBLISHERS

Section 1: Book Quality

Who has read your book so far? (Select all that apply.)

Just me.
My spouse/partner/significant other.
A friend or family member.
My editor and/or proofreader.
A critique partner.
The people in my writer’s group.
People who’ve read sample chapters at my website.
One or more literary agents.
Another self-published author.
A traditionally-published author.
A.J. Jacobs.


Has the feedback you have gotten been positive? If so, do you think it was wholly honest?
Have you gotten any negative feedback from anyone about any aspect of the book? How did you address it?
Which of the following things have you done to prepare your book for publication?

Self-edited
Hired a developmental editor
Self-proofread
Hired a proofreader
Formatted e-book myself
Hired someone to format the e-book for me
Formatted print version myself
Hired someone to format print version for me


In what formats have you read and reviewed your book?

Just my word-processor.
Kindle.
E-PUB
Print


Does your book have grammar errors that you know about? Spelling errors? Formatting problems? If so, do you have a plan to address them?
If you were writing a book review of your book, how many stars would you give it? Why?
If someone else had written your book instead of you, would you be in a big hurry to read it? Why?
What’s the best thing about your book?
What’s the worst thing about your book?
Some people have characterized success in self-publishing as being like a lottery–that you can earn a lot of riches based on luck. Do you think your book is a winning lottery ticket? Why?
What makes your book different than anyone else’s?

Section 2: Initial Budget

How much money do you have available to spend on everything that you will need to do to get your book published?

I am so broke I can’t pay attention.
$1 – $100
$100 – $500
$500 – $1500
$1500 – $2500
$2500 – $5000
$5000 – $10,000
$10,000 – $50,000
Over $50,000
Would you be interested in a small investment in an existing publishing operation?


How much do you have to spend on the following items? (Note: this is a good article to read if you don’t have a good concept on what to spend.)

Editing
Proofreading
E-book conversion
Cover design
ISBN
Reviews
Promotion


Which of the above items is your biggest priority?
Which of the above items do you think you can use to maybe cut corners?
Was the answer to the last question “cover design”? If so, are you sure about it?
If so, have you looked at Lousy Book Covers? Or read this article about why you should have a decent book cover?
What are you going to do with the money you are going to make in royalties?

Money is a paternalistic construct that means nothing to the true artist.
A 99-cent e-book
A burger at Five Guys (mustard and relish, no bacon, no cheese)
Dinner at Red Lobster
Groceries
Rent
Quit my day job
Small private island, in the Caribbean, or the South Pacific, can’t decide which.
I really don’t know
Re-investing back into my book

Section 3: Sales Channels

Are you planning on selling your e-book on Amazon?
If so, are you planning on selling your e-book exclusively on Amazon through KDP Select?
If not, what platforms are you considering?

Smashwords
Barnes & Noble
Apple
Google Play
Kobo
Scribd
Wattpad
Some other source
On my website
Out of the trunk of my car

Section 4: Marketing Strategy / Platform

What is your book’s logline?
Can you put that logline into 140 characters (plus a shortened URL)?
Do you have a description of your book ready?
What are some books that are comparable to your book?
How is your book different than those titles?
What are some authors who have a similar style as you have?
Are you planning on using social media to help sell your book?
If so, what channels?
If so, are you planning on doing it all the time?
If so, do you think that you’ll be making a big nuisance of yourself?
How do you decide which books to buy?
How does your answer to the previous question impact your marketing strategy?

Section 5: Marketing Channels

Are you planning on hiring a marketing consultant?
Which of the following marketing tools have you considered?

Direct e-mail marketing to my mailing list
E-mail marketing through a service, like BookBub
Online marketing through sites like eBookBooster
Advertising
Goodreads
Giveaways (on Goodreads, LibraryThing, etc.)
My existing Twitter account
A new Twitter account (for my publishing company or the book)
My existing Facebook account
A new Facebook page (an author page or a publishing company page or a book page)
My existing website
A dedicated website for the book
Other social media
Organizations of independent authors (WLC, IAN, etc.)
A virtual book tour
Bookstore appearances
Conferences and/or conventions

Section 6: Reviews

Do you have a plan for getting people to review your book?
Have you submitted this book for review anywhere?
Are you considering a review service (like NetGalley)?
Are you considering submitting to paid review sites (like Kirkus)?
Are you considering entering any contests that provide reviews (like IndieReader)?
Will you provide free review copies to reviewers on request?
Do you have plans to contact reviewers and/or book bloggers?

Section 7: Metrics

In terms of sales, what is your goal for this book?

Information must be free. I’m planning on making this book free forever.
If all I do is sell one book, that’s a victory against the gatekeepers and their minions.
If I sell ten books, I’ll be happy.
If I sell a hundred books, that would be a nice thing.
If I sell a thousand books and make enough to make my rent one month, that would be emotionally fulfilling.
I want to sell ten thousand books and go from there.
If I sell a hundred thousand books, I can quit my day job.
If I sell a million books, I can retire.
How many did Agatha Christie sell? More than that.


Have you thought about doing a free promotion (through KDP Select or otherwise)? What would be your goal for that?

I wouldn’t dream of giving my book away.
I don’t even know.
A hundred copies? Would that be good?
A thousand copies.
Ten thousand copies.
Fifty thousand copies.
ALL MUST READ MY WORDS.


How many reviews of your book are you shooting for?

Reviews aren’t important. I don’t care what other people think.
If just one person likes my book, I’m happy.
Five.
Ten.
Twenty-five.
Fifty.
A hundred.
Five hundred.
I have no idea.


You realize that you’re probably going to get at least a couple one-star or two-star reviews, right?

So?
No one would do that. This is an amazing, powerful, compelling book and NO ONE WOULD EVER RATE IT JUST ONE STAR. SHUT UP.
I have no interest in the opinion of people who clearly aren’t qualified to read my sterling work of absolute genius.
You mean, other people will write reviews? Of MY book?
Give me a second, and let me bury my head in my hands and cry for a little while, and I’ll be right with you.
I have accepted the realities of a marketplace where consumer reviews are prevalent.


Do you have a plan for dealing with bad reviews?

Yes! My entire marketing plan is built around “The Streisand Effect.”
I will assume that they are just jealous of my success and move on.
I’m going to ignore all reviews anyway.
If the review is constructive in some way, and can help me be a better writer, I will use it. If it’s not, that’s fine too. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and not everyone likes every book.
Does stalking count as a plan?

Section 8: Knowledge

What books have you read about self-publishing?
What blogs do you follow about self-publishing?
Where would you go if you needed help with an issue?
Do you know the difference between KDP and KDP Select?
What is the difference between the 35% royalty and the 70% royalty on Amazon?
What are the pluses and minuses of putting your e-book on Amazon?
What is MOBI?
What is EPUB?
Should you put song lyrics in a book or not?
What is copyright?
What is fair use?
What is an ISBN? Do you need one?
What is an ASIN?
What does TL,DR mean? (Especially in the context of, well, this guide.)

Section 9: Technology

What software did you use to write your book?
What software did you use to edit your book?
What software did you use to format your book for e-book format?
What software did you use to format your book for print format?
Are you familiar with Calibre?
Are you familiar with Adobe Acrobat?
Are you familiar with Photoshop (or other photo software)?
Can you put together a website of your own?
Can you navigate social media online?
What are your biggest weaknesses in terms of technology?

Section 10: Attitude

Why did you decide to self-publish?
Do you have a positive or negative attitude towards self-publishing in general?
Do you have an EXTREMELY positive OR negative attitude towards self-publishing?
Does the thought of self-publishing your book make you excited? Nervous? Depressed?
Are you prepared if people don’t want to read your book?
Are you prepared if people REALLY don’t want to read your book?
Are you prepared if you get bad reviews?
Do you think your expectations are realistic? Unrealistic?
For this project, what’s your personal definition of success?
How will you celebrate if you reach your personal definition of success?
What will you do if you don’t reach your personal definition of success?
Do you have another project in mind after this book is published? Have you started on it?

I hope this was helpful. If this was helpful, please feel free to thank me by reading and reviewing my book.