Jessica Shook's Blog, page 8

This week I have been so frustrated with myself for not ...

This week I have been so frustrated with myself for not being able to be summertime fun mom between refereeing arguments, being a flailing family chef, home entertainer, taxi driver, loving wife and more-than-one-paragraph-a-day writer.

Please tell me this sounds overwhelming to you too! (If it doesn’t, teach me your ways!)

That would be why I was banging my head against my laptop screen while being interrupted every 3-5 words I typed.

Then this morning I heard a resounding theme that’s come back to me again rising up from inside me. How do I define my success? Do I find success in putting my earbuds in to write/edit heart wrenching chapters while my children are nestled in front of a tablet or screen? Do I find success in barking orders at them, huffing irritably when I have to stop working to get them a snack, just so that I can get my book out faster?

Nope. Although no judgment if your definition is different than mine. That’s the point. It’s personal.

My personal success can’t be about writing at the expense of my relationship with these little ones that I’ve been entrusted to shepherd. I know they will be grown one day, out of the house and I’ll have so much quiet that it’ll probably drive me as crazy as all the noise does now!

But a lot of days, success is surviving the day without anything being broken and nobody bleeding; some days it’s just surviving because both of those things happened before 9 a.m.

In the same way, my personal success can’t be defined in motherhood without pursuing the dream in my heart to write. Even if it is little by little. Who would I be to tell my kids to go after their heart’s longings if I didn’t pursue my own?

Ergo, I may not write a book a year—or so. I may not write posts as often as I’d like.

But know that while my book drafts are being tweaked at a turtle pace, I may be doing yoga poses with my daughter, throwing a ball with my pre-schoolers, playing Checkers with my son. Maybe I’m having Friday night movie night snuggled up to my hubby. Although the majority of it isn’t rainbows and marshmallows. Most of the time, it’s all chaos mixed with a couple breaths of sunshine.

Success is intentional, guys. It doesn’t happen by accident. I’ve heard it said, “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” And success in your family is the same way.

Let me ask you . . . what is it that would make you say “I’m a success”? Pursue that today.

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School’s Out! Now What?

Day one of my kids out of school, I knew I would need something to occupy their four rambunctious minds. So (of course) to Facebook and Pinterest I went in search of ideas! My number one priority was to avoid my kids spending the entire summer plopped in front of a screen, be it TV, video game or tablet. I melded a few ideas together and came up with this printable!

We are on day four of our  School’s Out Rules and all of us are stoked. The sun peaks through their windows, and shortly thereafter they run through their list. And let me tell you, my kids have never made their beds without complaints. Yet this one little printable has worked a Summer Miracle for each member of my not-so-little family.

Asking if they can watch this or play that? Eliminated! Their answer is on the sheet.

Tapping on my arm incessantly while I’m trying to get work done? Almost non-existent (I do have a 3 and 4 year old who can’t read yet).

Running under my legs during my home yoga session? … Okay, that one hasn’t changed much. But…

The “B” word (B-O-R-I-N-G) hasn’t been said once in this house! Because now they have options. They know the ground rules. They know what has to be done first. (And parents, here’s an awesome side effect. While they are accomplishing these little projects in order to get some screen time, they get so caught up in building something or making a craft or reading or playing outside…that they far exceed the time frame listed.)

By the time they have finished this set of projects, I say they’ve earned their screen time!

If you want this kind of freedom fun for your family, I’ve made it downloadable for you! If it doesn’t fit your child’s needs, feel free to make your own. All I know is that as parents we have to stick together. Especially during summer break!

Click here to download your very own copy of School’s Out Rules! And enjoy!

 

 

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My Month in Books: April 2016

I am an addict. And I am not above sharing it with y’all because I’ve heard the first step is admitting the problem.

My name is Jessica, and I am a bookaholic.

Excuse me, bibliophile is the scientific term, but that words creeps me out!

This isn’t new information to me, but my addiction flared up big this week. A friend asked for a book recommendation and on my quest to find her the perfect mystery/action novel, I found nine books to add to my ever expanding to-read list. My dilemma would be embarrassing if I didn’t hold it so dear. Let me explain. I am currently reading two books while listening to an audiobook (not at the same time, obviously; it hasn’t gotten that bad yet). I have two unread books checked out from the library on my nightstand, three on hold, and about 30% of my book shelf is yet unread.

Therefore, I have decided to use my superpower for good and not evil. Here I will share books that I’ve enjoyed each month. I am not a book reviewer! But I do know that sometimes it can be hard to find a worthwhile book out there. The books I read are not always fresh off the press. And my reading style is all over the place, as you will see, but maybe somewhere in here, you’ll find some book that inspires you to pick it up at the local bookstore, your city library or through the links provided and enjoy!

Here are this months reads:

(Not pictured: Audio book of Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë; because I believe listening to a book is still reading a book!)

Where the Heart Is  by Billy Letts: I’ve watched the movie based on this book so often that when I was reading, I could hear Natalie Portman, Ashley Judd and Stockard Channing’s voices in my head. Part of the reason I have put off reading it is because of how much I adore this movie. So check out the movie or the book. They are both fabulous!
Big Cherry Hollar (Big Stone Gap, #2) by Adriana Trigiani: This is the second book in a series of four, and this book is all about characters, quirky, cute characters!
(Un)Qualified by Steven Furtick: This man is one of my favorite speakers. His viewpoints from the Bible on the life of Jacob are some of my favorite teachings.
Imagine Big by Terri Savelle Foy: This is my second time to read this book! That’s how much it impacted me! Fabulous for readers or non-readers alike, in every stage of life!

So, comment below and tell me: What are you reading that I could add to my list?!

 

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Confessions of a Frustrated Perfectionist

Here I am, sitting at my desk, two chapters away from being able to write “The End” on the first draft of my book. And I haven’t written in two weeks. It’s not because I don’t know what to write. It’s not because I haven’t had the opportunity. But I am a frustrated perfectionist. I want my first draft to be perfect. I want words to flow out of me like crisp water from a fountain. But that rarely happens! Plus, I’m an idea person. I like to write down new ideas for next books, new posts, house projects, side businesses, family nights. Yes, I have quite the list on my phone.

The problem is my follow through is hit-or-miss. I have the ideas, but I don’t always finish them. And there are so many reasons why not. I mean, I do have 4 kids. (That in and of itself could be excuse enough!) I also care a little bit too much about what others think of said ideas. They aren’t grand enough, interesting enough, important enough. The task is too hard, the pressure is too much, the motivation is too little. Given enough time, I can talk myself out of anything.

Did I mention that I want things perfect and easy?

But I’m reminded of when my 13-year-old niece, Jadyn, tried out for the track team this year. Running her fastest and hardest, she said her legs felt like they were going to fall off half way through the race!

But she didn’t quit. She ran anyway “to get it over with,” she said. Now that’s the attitude of a finisher!

Too many of us stop running when our legs feel like they’ll fall off. We quit and lay on the ground until our limbs are no longer spaghetti noodles.

We are waiting for motivation or inspiration to hit us between the lobes of our brain and jolt us into action. But by waiting, we miss the biggest motivation and inspiration there is: The awesomeness of accomplishment!

What is your “two-chapters-from-the-end” “run-when-my-legs-are-about-to-fall-off” project that is so close to being finished? A book you haven’t finished reading (or writing!), painting that one room, the degree that you are only 8 credits away from, the backyard project that keeps you from enjoying your yard in this beautiful spring weather? We all have that one thing (or more) that’s lingering over our head.

Close facebook, turn off the TV, stay up a little later tonight or wake up a little earlier tomorrow, and determine that you will FINISH! Get to the finish line, no matter what it takes, even when you don’t feel like it, even when inspiration eludes you, even when the kids have kept you up half the night and you need TWO pots of coffee to put together a coherent thought. Don’t let yourself stop. Keep moving forward. One step at a time. Don’t quit. JUST FINISH!

In fact, I’ll take my own advice right now and work on my last two chapters!

What project are you picking back up? Leave a comment and let me know! And when you finish it, post a picture in the comments or email me jessica@jessicashook.com. I’d love to see them!

Here’s to our completed projects!

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Lessons From A Slinky

With hopeful eyes looking up at me, my daughter interrupted my bill paying to bring me the slinky she had won only days before, now bent and twisted. Her hands held up this nearly broken toy, begging me to unwind the plastic knots and make it playable again.

I swear slinkies are made to teach parents patience. Or to teach children the pitfalls of disappointment.

Not to brag, but I’m usually quite successful at this task. But not every slinky knot is reversible. Just as in life, not every disappointment can be mended. Nor should they all be.

The slinkies of life teach us how to fail gracefully. How to accept the bends and twists, the kinks that almost break us but don’t. How to love those exact misshapen pieces of ourselves and turn those weaknesses into our strengths.

I’d like to be able to say that I fixed the slinky and it’s back to new with no visible flaws. I’d like to say that, but I can’t.

I wasn’t the hero this time. The slinky ended up in the trash and my daughter was heartbroken for a couple minutes. But then she moved on to the next toy.

Sometimes we teach our children things. And sometimes they teach us.

They teach us to be resilient and pick ourselves up from a failure and move to the next curve in front of us, asking ‘what new adventure awaits?’ And we must accept the kinks as a part of us now, love the imperfections that have made us who we are and taught us something new along the way. Because how boring would we be if we were just another broken slinky, giving up on ourselves and throwing our dreams out with the trash.

Love yourself, friend. Love each blemish, each curve, each piece, the same way God loves you. Because they make you interesting. They make you YOU.

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When Media Gets Jesus Right

Music can seep through our skin and pulse through our veins and in our brains. That is why ‪#‎ThePassionLive‬ on FoxTV last night was beautiful. Not because they got every piece of the story right, but because they showed Jesus and the Gospel in a new way, relevant to us today. With an incredible selection of music, opening up the lyrics to these songs and giving them a whole new meaning, they showed us what it would be like if Jesus came to the world as it is today. What would it be like for Jesus to be walking down the corner of 7th street teaching people the ways of His Father. His disciples would be car salesmen, waiters, construction workers. Putting skin on Jesus, in our world, our generation, changes the way we see the Bible, the way we see the cross. That’s what The Passion did so seamlessly. Music and lyrics that stirred the emotions Jesus would have felt.

This moment, in the video posted, between Judas and Jesus was one of the most emotional to me. Seeing the pain in Jesus’ eyes, viewing the betrayal of a friend yet trying to save him still – that’s Jesus’ message. “I want to shelter you.” Jesus tells him. “This is all for you.” And Jesus is saying those words to each of us still. That’s the message that was in The Passion. If you missed The Passion, I encourage you to watch the music from it and let yourself feel Jesus in a new way.

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The Christmas I Chose

‘Tis the season of comparison. Family pictures, holiday decorations, party fashion, and bigger and better Christmas trees. Our newsfeeds are flooded with opportunities to compare our lives, our family, our “happiness” with everyone else’s. I’ve felt it, and I bet you have too – whether you have admitted it or not. Social media puts a cyber-spotlight on “who-does-it-best” and can turn the most wonderful time of the year into the most competitive time of year…if we let it.

We have to know our limitations (physically and financially), be firm in who we are and what truly matters to us, and remember that in five years we won’t remember the decorations or what we wore…but we WILL remember the smiles on our family’s faces and the love that was built this year.

So what if my Christmas card is a snapshot from Thanksgiving because my kids don’t smile as well for other people. So what if my Christmas tree has more homemade decorations than store bought and was mostly decorated by my kids. So what if my Christmas party attire is maybe a year or too behind the trend. My heart is full with the people around me, the Christmas music that I can’t get out of my head and the knowledge that this is what lifetime memories are made of.

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Me, Interrupted

Today we can choose to see moments in our lives as interruptions or invitations. We can get so caught up in our busy day that we forget to accept invitations to enjoy our family or see someone around us hurting because it is disguised as an interruption. It’s all about perspective.

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