Marian Tee's Blog, page 6

Love is forgiveness.

So...I just came back from Sunday mass / service with my family, and it's really amazing how God works because today's teaching has answered a question I didn't notice was bothering me until now. 
When I read reviews of my work and emails from readers, one of the more common complaints and questions has to do with my heroines. Why are they so weak? And reading between the lines I'm guessing by 'weak' they're asking why do my heroines forgive so easily? 
Take for instance Stavros and Willow's story. He's fucked another girl right where Willow can hear it. 
How can she forgive this? How can she still love him after this?
And so forth. You can probably cite all my books and you'll easily find something similar. 
When I get this question, I typically don't reply - if I ever did, I can't remember to be honest; maybe once or twice, when I was just naive and starting out. 
I don't reply because I believe we all have the right to think and feel the way we do, and there's no need for me to justify why I chose to write my story in any particular away.
However, after today's service, I realize that I at least owe it to everyone to explain, just once, and then the link will go to my FAQ post. 
And now, for the answer, let's watch this first.
This video made me cry in church. >.< I hate crying in public, but I guess it was appropriate I was able to watch this now because it's enlightened me on how to best define my work.
If you've watched the video, you'd have seen the cruel pleasure Jesus' tormentors had in whipping and causing Him pain. But here's the question - do you believe Jesus hates them for what they've done? Do you believe Jesus stopped loving them?

Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

The answer is NO.
And that is what I hope the characters in my works exemplify. That is what I hope my stories are able to deliver across.  God loves us despite us our many shortcomings, failures, and imperfections. God forgives us even when we haven't earned His forgiveness. 
If God is able to forgive and without question, how can we NOT do this as well? How can we at least NOT TRY?
Now, I'm not saying that forgiveness is to condone evil. OF COURSE NOT. God Himself gives us challenges in life to make us reflect and repent, to desire forgiveness and seek atonement. 
What I am saying is that FORGIVENESS IS LOVE.  If to forgive easily to make a person weak in someone else's eyes, so be it. This is nothing to be ashamed of. I can't say that I am able to follow this myself in real life - it's a personal struggle for me, too, but I try. And with God's grace, I hope eventually I'm able to forgive AND love as easily as the characters in my book do.
The end. :)
A blessed Sunday to you all!

YURI: STANDALONE CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE (Cover Reveal)

His name was Yuri Athanas. 
They called him the golden boy of Afxisi, a college org during the day and an underground racing club at night.
Like his brothers, Yuri was rich, powerful, gorgeous, and devastatingly sexy.
Unlike his brothers, Yuri did not leave a trail of broken hearts behind him.
Yuri was the angel amidst all the other Greek devils, they said.
I liked hearing that about him. It gave me hope that when we do meet again, he would remember his promise, and he would keep it.
He would take one look at me and he wouldn’t mind I wasn’t…okay. 
He wouldn’t mind I wasn’t…normal. 
If he was everything I prayed he would be, he’d take one look at me and love me, like he had promised.

JULY 2015

So June's coming to an end, and I have yet to release another book after the prequel to A Fling with the Greek Billionaire. Originally, this fact depressed me a lot. I had so many plans for this month, especially since May (imho) was super great. I had plans to release this and that, and time allowing, release another this and that. But obviously, none of that's happening. Even if I can finish editing Fling (standalone) tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to publish it since my publisher is moving and the earliest she can get her Internet back up is on Thursday. Understand, though, that this IS NOT her fault at all of course. It's all mine. I had almost the entire month to finish Fling (standalone) but the book only kept getting longer and longer without any signs of the end. It was supposed to be novella-length but nope, I'd be lucky to finish this at 40k words minimum - and by 'lucky' I only mean I want the book out as soon as possible, so you won't have to wait too long.

Today, however, I've had another epiphany of sorts. One is that in all my plans, I haven't ever factored in that I'd need God's help. (Be ready: it's my religious side coming forth). You see, I'm the type of person who hates asking for help. I even hate sharing my problems because I don't want other people to be burdened by my troubles.  I prefer to work on my own and do what I can without ever complaining. BUT in my determination to do everything, I forgot that everything I have is from God. And that I'm practically acting like I don't even need God.

That's why this entire month of June worked as some sort of lesson - a reminder for me to acknowledge that I'm neither omniscient nor omnipotent. My editor (The Passionate Proofreader) said it best when she shared this quote with me.

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow 8we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; 14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? rIt is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. 15 Instead you ought to say, s“If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” James 4: 13-15

I did think twice of sharing this entire post on my "For Readers" blog, as opposed to posting it on my "For Writers" blog, but in the end I decided to post it here. I feel like it's only fair that you should know this side of me, too, because this part of me also influences the way I write. 
But anyway, lesson learned, and I know, WITH GOD'S GRACE, July is going to be SOOOO GOOOOD and I will be releasing one book after another that you'll end up being sick of me! :)

GOING BACK TO PARANORMAL FOR MAY 2015

Some of you may have already heard me say this, but one major thing I regret about is not using separate pen names for my contemporary and paranormal romance books. You may think I'm exaggerating, but I feel like every time I release a new contemp book, I lose a few of my PNR readers - and vice versa. 
And every lost reader HURTS. 
Seriously, I'm not kidding. It's like losing a friend (I can't say 'kid' because I'm not a parent yet).
So one thing I've decided to do is to alternate releases. Since the serial I previously worked on was contemporary (The Greek Billionaire and His Secretary), this month will be dedicated to writing PNR. More specifically, I'm going to finish the story of Professor Alessandro Moretti and his student Kassia. Now, earlier I was at Subway----
O/T: It's been ages since I last ate there and it's always special for me and AT since he worked for one summer there. I've always found it cool he had a part-time job in high school. I know it's normal for high school kids in the US to have that but not here in PH so yeah, I was starstruck when he told me about it the first time (and I think we were just 19 or 20 then? hahaha)
--- and while eating brunch, I finally got to finalize the major plot points of My Werewolf Professor 2 and 3. Now, some of you may be wondering why there'd be two books when I originally planned just one sequel. 
The reason for this is when I had my first draft finished, the whole book felt...messy, mainly because I had to deal with TWO important issues for Alessandro and Kassia.
One is their relationship as teacher and studentSecond is the fact that Alessandro's Lyccan, which he hasn't told Kassia yet.So in the end, I decided to split the story into two, so I can take my time exploring the different stages of their relationship. Book 2 will deal with mostly human / relationship problems while Book 3 will deal with the paranormal aspect of their relationship.  That done, the next thing I did - after moving to another establishment - is do research. For one thing, I've re-read My Werewolf Professor 1 again, highlighting passages (see my iPad on the photo?) because, yes, I do forget some of the things I write. >.< I'm definitely getting old.
Oh, and one last thing, and this is important.
Since I made My Werewolf Professor available on Kindle Unlimited, I will also be making the two sequels available on Kindle Unlimited. The good news is that  if you've subscribed to KU then you'll be able to read the sequels for FREE. 
If you don't have KU, another good thing is that I'll be releasing these two new books for just $.99 EACH!
If you don't have a Kindle, you can always download the Kindle app to your device, computer or Mac.  Lastly, here's my tentative schedule of upcoming books (arranged according to order of release)
My Werewolf Professor 2 and 3
New Greek serial (guess which couple!)
Brimstone 2: The Heart of a Duchess
BBF: Reid (The Prince of Darkness) If you've got any questions, just sound off below! :)

FOREVER AND EVER MY GREEK BILLIONAIRE IS OUT NOW!

Her billionaire ex-lover wants her back, but not as his secretary. 

It would be so easy for 24-year-old Willow Somerset to give in to Stavros Manolis' demands. But she knows if they're to have a chance on a happy-ever-after, she needs to keep pushing him away. She needs to let him believe she's betrayed him until he finds out the truth for himself.

And that was that she loved him, always had, and always will. Amazon ~ iBooks ~ Kobo ~ Barnes & Noble
SOON OUT ON BUQO AND ALL ROMANCE AS WELL!

Stavros & willow 3 last excerpt (release Date: may 5 evening, us time)

Expect Forever & Ever, My Greek Billionaire (Part 3 for Stavros and Willow) to be out May 5, US time, evening most likely, considering how long it takes Amazon to approve and publish books. And as I promised in the title, here's your last sneak peek of the book. 
P.S. Be sure to listen to this  while reading! :D

A knock sounded on Stavros’ door at four in the morning, waking Ingrid up. The space next to her in bed was empty, but she could hear the shower running from the en-suite bathroom. When the knock continued, Ingrid forced herself to get up. It could be important, something that could make Stavros Manolis happy with her.

Wrapping the covers around her body, she moved towards the door. “Coming.” Opening it, she found herself staring at a little blonde cow with two cups of Starbucks coffee in her hands.

Although Ingrid immediately recognized her as the woman from yesterday, she pretended not to, asking brightly, “Is that for us?”

Willow knew a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ would suffice, but she just couldn’t make herself speak or even think. Stupid. She was so, so stupid. Those were the only words that existed in her mind right now. Just because the room had finally become silent didn’t mean he was already alone. God, she was so stupid.

In front of her, Stavros’ companion for the night was smiling, as if she drew pleasure from the fact that she had rendered Willow temporarily dumbstruck. Like any broken-hearted ex-lover, the first thing she had done last night was to stalk this woman on the Internet. She had found out that the woman’s name was Ingrid Mendel, an heiress to a billion-dollar chemical company and Stavros’ regular arm candy whenever he was in the country.

“Who is it, Ingrid?” Willow heard Stavros ask.

“She hasn’t given her name yet,” Ingrid called back.

Frowning at Ingrid’s vague answer, Stavros wrapped a towel around his hips and headed to the door. Ingrid stepped back and he suddenly found himself face to face with Willow.

It was almost like gatecrashing an orgy, Willow thought. Dressed as she was in a three-piece suit, she felt distinctly out of place and more than just a little numb with shock.

A muscle ticked in Stavros’ jaw at the way Willow was looking at him. Goddamn her to hell. She was close to succeeding in making him feel guilty, but Stavros hardened his resolve, telling himself it was all for show.

“You know her?” Ingrid asked.

Stavros nodded curtly. “My former secretary. She’s working for Willem now.”

“Oh. Headhunted by royalty.” Ingrid’s smile widened. “How impressive.” Snuggling against Stavros, she offered a hand to the other woman. “Ingrid Mendel.”

Willow forced herself to shake hands with the heiress. “Willow Somerset.”

Releasing Willow’s hand, Ingrid looked up at Stavros. “Darling?” From the corner of her eye, she saw the cow flinch when Stavros immediately bent his head towards her.

“What is it?”

Ingrid gestured to the other woman innocently. “I think she’s hoping to share her morning coffee with you.”

Shiiiiiiit. This woman was the greatest Dutch shit in the world. The words were clearly meant to provoke her, but Willow told herself not to react. Willow 2.0, she reminded herself. Her entire plan hinged on being Willow 2.0, and she mustn’t let herself forget that.

The entire night, she had been unable to sleep.

Her mind had been in turmoil, and the entire time, she couldn’t help thinking that if she apologized for her thoughtless taunt about his mother, this punishment would stop. She just had to say sorry first, and he would forgive her and stop fucking other women.

It was a silly, stupid wish, but she had made herself believe it, and bringing him coffee was meant to be her olive branch. Or at least that had been the plan…when she had thought she would catch him alone.

Stavros was gazing at her now, his handsome face impassive as Ingrid’s words caused him to glance at the cups she held. He said dismissively, “I’m sure that’s not true.”

Willow knew what he was doing. He was giving her a graceful exit, a way to save them both from awkwardness in public. She should seize it, she knew. She really should. But instead, she heard herself say, “Actually, it is.”

Stavros found himself stilling at Willow’s words. What the hell was she playing at? His gaze raked over her incredulously. Did she really think he could forget everything with a damn cup of coffee?

The whole night long, he had made love to Ingrid until she had literally passed out. The whole night, he had done his best to fuck himself numb, but all he had been able to accomplish was pretend it was Willow he was fucking, her voice he heard when Ingrid cried out as she came. Even though Stavros had lost count of the number of times he had an orgasm, only his body had become numb with exhaustion. The rest of him – especially his mind and his fucking heart – had been impervious, and both had mocked him for his inability to get Willow Somerset out of his mind.

Willow – the one woman in the world who had been able to make a greater fool out of him than his mother.

When Stavros only looked at her with hard, implacable eyes, she willingly swallowed her pride as she stretched her arm out to extend the coffee towards him. “A peace offering.” She had wanted the words to come out cheerful, but instead they ended up desperate.

Besides Stavros, Ingrid burst into laughter. She laughed so hard that she even fell against Stavros’ side at her mirth as she gasped, “Oh, God, this is so painful to watch.”

Even as the heiress’ words cut her to pieces, Willow deliberately kept her eyes on Stavros. “So, what do you think?”

Instead of answering her, Stavros demanded in Greek, “What is this about?”

Also answering in Greek, she said, “I told you, a peace---”

“Your peace offering can go to hell.” The way Willow whitened at his words made Stavros’ chest tighten, but he told himself it was all for show. This woman was the world’s greatest actress while he could end up the world’s greatest idiot if he allowed himself to fall for her tricks again.

Curling an arm around Ingrid’s waist, he said brusquely, “If you have nothing else to say…”

The implication behind his words had Willow reeling, and she asked thinly, “You’re still not done fucking her?”

A humorless smile twisted Stavros’ lips. “You of all people should know one night barely makes a difference to me if I want someone bad enough.”

And that someone, Willow realized dumbly, wasn’t her. Something hollow started to grow inside of her. “I see.” She watched the heiress shamelessly rub herself against Stavros’ side, and she repeated dazedly, “I see.”

The redundancy of her words revealed Willow’s shock, but it was the look in her eyes that disturbed Stavros the most. Something about those eyes made him feel like he was supposed to grasp something, a wisp of an idea that shouldn’t have been able to elude him but did.

There was something about the way she looked at him, something he couldn’t quite name. Was it there to fool him? Was it there to mock him? He couldn’t fucking say at all, and the fact that even now she possessed the power to confuse him – to make him care enough to be confused, dammit – angered Stavros, making his voice harsh and cold as he demanded, “Are we done now?”

The question rattled her. No. They were not done. That was what Willow wanted to scream at him. If he really loved her, he should have known that in her heart, they had never ended.

But then…that was why they were like this in the first place, wasn’t it?

Stavros had to learn to love and trust her first. But until that happened, they were exactly what Stavros said.

They were done.

Willow slowly stepped back. “Yeah.” She tried her damnedest to keep her smile in place, but she could feel it dancing shakily on her lips as she said, “We’re done.”

THE PLAYING AUTUMN BLOG TOUR: EXCERPT and giveaway!

Hey everyone! :) Taking a really quick break from finishing Love, Your Greek Billionaire to share with you an excerpt from Playing Autumn, a new release from NA romance author Mina V. Esguerra. I've worked with her on two boxed sets - the recently released Players: Sports Romance Bundle and 2013's Rock Gods of Romance, which is actually how Playing Autumn made its debut. This one, though, is the revised, novel-length, and STEAMIER (yaaay!) edition.    synopsiS   Haley Reese is going back home to Houston and she's dreading this trip. She volunteers as a mentor to young musicians at an annual festival, and the longer she's been doing it, the more she feels like a fraud. It's been years since the web videos that made her sort-of famous first came out, and she hasn't done anything else to pursue the career in music she's always wanted. Things start looking up when she shares a plane ride with Oliver Cabrera, music prodigy, rock star, and the reason why she picked up an instrument in the first place.

Oliver Cabrera hasn't called any place "home" since he started touring professionally in his teens, but Houston is as close to it as any. He's also nearly broke, his career just about over. When he gets the invitation to mentor at the Breathe Music Festival again, he decides, what the hell, he should finally show up. He meets Haley, Hot Piano Girl herself, and finds her own fear of failure might be easier to fix than his own.
And now, for an excerpt... 

Two people in an airport on a Thursday. That was all Haley Reese expected this to be.
She recognized Oliver Cabrera right away (duh), and immediately her brain and other vital systems threatened to shut down. Why—how—what—when—huh—
It took her about twenty seconds, a personal record, to reassemble herself, and remember that she wasn't thirteen years old anymore. She was twenty-two, an adult, an accomplished musician herself, and was absolutely not going to squee at the sight of the guy who used to star in most of her teenage dreams and daytime fantasies.
Good job, Haley. This was bound to happen, one day. Which fantasy was this?
Ah yes. She had one daydream, conjured up during a torturous three-hour wait at the dentist's office when she was in junior high, involving Oliver Cabrera showing up—and being told by the mean dentist's assistant that he had to wait too, like everyone else, never mind if his tooth hurt like he had a jackhammer to his gums. No problem, Oliver would say, smiling through the pain, because he was cool like that. And then he would sit next to her.
She would be cool, too. Really cool. He wouldn’t even be able to tell that she was probably in the top ten of his biggest fans. Her calm exterior wouldn’t betray the posters she had up in her room, the recordings of all his performances (in multiple copies), the subscriptions to all the major newsletters, fan groups, and forums. She was just another girl with a toothache, like him. No big.  
When Haley first came up with that, she had no idea that she was going to be leaving home to take a job in Tampa, didn't know that she would be spending any amount of time at TPA, didn't realize that this very airport was where her path and his would finally cross. She thought that magical moment would happen in New York City, where he lived and where she would make a musical pilgrimage to, one day. The next most likely location would have been Houston, his hometown and hers, maybe at a wedding of a friend they apparently had in common.
She did not expect Tampa. She was not prepared for this.
Their eyes met. She didn’t expect that shade of brown, lighter than every photo of him had ever let on. He paused for a moment, cocked his head to one side, and smiled. She gave him a tiny nod and lifted her magazine up, focusing on it, pretending to be really interested in the headlines. Something about a food security breakthrough. How we shouldn’t forget about malaria, or was it mining.
He took a seat on the same row as hers, keeping a vacant one between them. The way normal people traveling alone did, when they were hanging out by the boarding gate. (When she was thirteen, she didn't know this either.)
Hmm, Haley thought, absorbing her peripheral view of him. He's a regular guy. He doesn't look like the kid on my computer wallpaper anymore.
No, he actually looked hotter.
Because Oliver grew up in the public eye, Haley was witness to several phases of his looks. The first one was the scrawny, twelve-year-old Oliver, with the stringy dark hair, the intense look in his eye, the violin in his hand. She first set her eyes on that guy when she was ten years old, watching him on that talent show week after week, like everyone else.
***
“This is headed to Bush International, right?” Oliver asked her, and it wasn't happening in her head. It was happening right then and there. Haley opened her mouth but no sound came out.
“What?” he said.
“Yes,” she squeaked. “I mean, yes. Houston. This is it.”
“It says Fort Lauderdale.”
“I know, but that's a glitch. They assured me that we're going to Houston.”
He looked toward the screen that clearly did not say that, and shrugged. “So we're just going to have to trust all these people right?”  
“I don't think they're trying to play a trick on us.”
“I don't know. But suddenly I want to check out Fort Lauderdale.”
Small talk. By Oliver Cabrera. If there was anything that was going to get her to stop worrying about her possible unemployment, this was it.  “You should, maybe. It's not bad.” Stay cool. That’s it. Good job, Reese. You can be witty another time. Don’t embarrass yourself.
“Is this a thing? Load people in a vehicle and take them somewhere else? Surprise tourism? Is that how they do it these days?”
He’s still talking to me. Seriously, Haley was running out of non-idiotic things to say. Her daydreams ended before this point, and were never this detailed. “What you're suggesting,” Haley said, “is like kidnapping. Or really bad service.”
Oliver's laugh was short and melodramatic, and she blushed a little because she interpreted it as flirty. It was probably not flirty at all, if an objective party were to judge it.
“They tell me I have a problem with my imagination,” he told her.
She was all out of prepped lines. The real Haley would actually have to talk to him now. She cleared her throat and went on with it. “Because you use it? Don't believe them. How else do you survive a flight delay?”
“With conversation,” Oliver answered.

Start reading Playing Autumn today for only $.99 on Amazon.
Learn more about the book on Goodreads.

That's not all, though. To celebrate the release of Playing Autumn, Mina's having a giveaway and you can join RIGHT NOW by using the Rafflecopter below. Four days left so be sure to join now! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway ABOUT THE AUTHOR  Mina V. Esguerra writes contemporary romance and young adult novellas. She has a bachelor's degree in Communication and a master's degree in Development Communication, put to good use in her work as trainer and content management consultant. Mina lives in Metro Manila, Philippines, with her husband and daughter.
She finds inspiration in the lives and experiences of other people, so the answer to "Is this story based on you?" is always, always "No."
WEBSITE ~ GOODREADS ~ TWITTER ~ FACEBOOK THE PLAYING AUTUMN BLOG TOUR IS ORGANIZED BY:  Click the image above if you would like to be a tour host for The Bookish Diaries Book Tours.

THE THING ABOUT HEARTBREAK...

...is that I totally get off it. More particularly, heartbreaking cliffhangers. >.< I'm sorry. I know this is going to make a lot of you scream and get mad at me but after writing so many standalones, I just found myself yearning for the emotional high that I can only experience when writing heartbreaking endings for my characters. 
When I was writing Stavros and Willow's trilogy, I was surprised constantly at the number of times I cried. I'm betting whichever parts that made you cry, it made me cry, too. I'm that kind of author. I cry over my own books - especially when I'm writing them. It's because I'm experiencing them the first time and - this is going to sound weird - but even I'm surprised with how things turns out at times. 
So anyway, I just wanted to share that with you. Also, as I recently announced on Facebook, I'll be working on editing Books 2 and 3 this weekend. If I finish in time then that means Love, Your Greek Billionaire will be out next week. IF being the operative word that is.
Wish me luck!

UPDATES

So have you read The Greek Billionaire and His Secretary yet? I hope you did because Dear Greek Billionaire should be out this weekend. :D I am so excited about this series - but again, let me warn you. Lots of heartbreak ahead! If you've signed up for my newsletter then you should be enjoying an exclusive excerpt of DGB or Stavros 1, which is what I call it in my mind. (The prequel, I refer to as Stavros 0 :D)

Mm...what else. Oh, yeah, so people have been asking me these questions
When's the next Off Guard update? Sorry but not this month. I was hoping to do it in Feb, but that didn't work out and I'm unfortunately fully booked this March so it's going to be April soonest for Off Guard.Where's Demon Duke 2 - The Heart of a Duchess? It's one of my top priorities, but first I have to write Unclaimed because their storylines will intersect.Where's When I Moan? If I'm lucky, I'll get to write that April or May. I really want to get this one out asap.Where's The Rockstar I Never Knew? Also, top of my priorities. May earliest.Where's My Werewolf Professor 2? March or April!WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YUKI AND KC? They...broke up. Not during When I Moan's timeline, but it was after that. They'll be meeting again as ADULTS. Oh, and they'll finally get to have sex! O.o

DAMEN AND STAVROS ARE WAITING FOR YOU!

In case you haven't subscribed to my newsletter (to which I ask, whyyyyyyy?),  then some of you may not have noticed that The Art of Kissing a Greek Billionaire (Greek 6!!!) and The Greek Billionaire and His Secretary (the prequel to Stavros and Willow's trilogy) are both out now.

As mentioned earlier, Greek 6 will be $.99 on Amazon. That's the lowest price I can give it and we'll have to wait for Amazon to price-match it to free. The book has already been uploaded to other retailers but - I've checked a few minutes ago - none of those sites has approved it yet. =/ So I beg for your patience please. :D

I'm also suuuuuper excited to hear what you guys think about my newest Greek series, which features Stavros and Willow (you read them first in Greek 5: The Art of Wedding a Greek Billionaire). If you've already read their prequel, let me know what you think? 
Also, Book 1 - Dear Greek Billionaire - should be out this week, too :D So, so excited about their story!  Start reading about Mairi and Damen's happy-ever-after story today. Find out how sparks flew the first time Greek billionaire meets 24-year-old junior editor Willow Somerset.