Sarah Richards's Blog: The Chocolate Moose, page 4

Birthdays.Epiphanies.Life.

Tetris, the Mac and Tom Clancy's The Hunt for Red October 
Are all things that turn 30 this year.

Charles Dickens, Laura Ingalls Wilder and Sinclair Lewis 
Are all authors whose birthday is on February 7th.

What do these things have in common?
Me. My birthday is February 7th and I just turned thirty!

I am the youngest in my immediate family and of most my friends.
The constant pressure to do something for my 30th birthday was huge.

Turning 18 means you are a legally an adult.
Turning 21 means you are legally allowed to drink alcohol.
Turning 25 means you pay less for car insurance.
Turning 30...?

I really did not see the point in doing anything for my birthday.
I didn't think turning thirty was really a significant birthday.

I was thinking about it all wrong.
Birthdays aren't just about you, they are for you!
It is an excuse for the people who care about you to celebrate with you.
A chance to show how much they love and care about you.
And mine was an event fit for royalty!

Photography by Sarah Richards on her 30th BirthdayEpiphany struck when I realized my efforts to ignore my birthday was actually selfish and hurtful to others.
I decided to let go.
I decided to celebrate 30 years of living with those who love me most.

It sounds cliched, but I began to make a list of all the things I had accomplished and experienced in my life.
In Brainerd, MN on the 7th of February 1984 I decided I wanted to be born.In Elementary School I decided I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up.In Middle School I decided I wanted to become a zoologist after I tracked wolves with the International Wolf Center and the Minnesota DNR for fun.Between Middle School and High School I got to live in Voyageurs National Park, MN where I learned to draw on the shores of Lake Kabetogama and decided I wanted to be an artist.During High School I made it to the International Science and Engineering fair for my mathematical analysis of beauty and decided going pre-med might be fun.Choose Graphic Design in college, because I knew nothing about it. I found my first and only boyfriend my first week at college and got to marry him!Competed at nationals for synchronized swimming for the University of Minnesota the first year I ever tried it and graduated college with a BS in Graphic Design. Worked in industry before opening my own design business.I believed I would become the next big wedding stationery designer.

Then everything changed.
My brain was sick.
I lost the ability to draw, sign my name and type.
I was diagnosed with acute MS after the birth of my son.
I literally couldn't tell my left from my right anymore.

Week long stays in the hospital,
7 plus hours in MRI machines and CAT scans,
And countless other tests left me with nothing to do but think. 

Stories emerged from confused memories in my head to occupy the past several years.
Then I started to do the one thing I genuinely never thought I would do. 
I remember teachers growing up telling me to never try; notes next to bad grades on my papers.
I was warned to not making this my career.
I started writing.

My first novel, Left on the Edge was published in 2013 and my second, Taken in the Woods a year later. Currently I am working on the third installment of the Woodmere Trilogy, Drowned by Fear.

Writing this out started like a resume, and ended with insight.
We never know what we are capable of, so don't let others limit you.
We never know what we will be doing the following year, so don't limit yourself.
We will always continue to change.

I began life wanting to be born, wanting to live. I still want that.
I want to live life to the fullest while recording the beauty around me with research, art, photography and words.

I get to play veterinarian to my husky.
I get be a zoologist as identifying wildlife from the woods next my home daily.
I get to be a family doctor healing boo-boos and sniffles.
I get to be an artist as draw and design covers for the books I write.

I just turned thirty and I've decided I want to be me when I grow up.
What do you want out of life?

Drowned by Fear

Despite my stop motion animation Lego creations, I have been hard at work writing the final book of the Woodmere Trilogy, Drowned by Fear.




Photo taken by me,  Sarah Richards in Northern Minnesota

In the first book of the Woodmere Trilogy, Left on the Edge ,
Autumn is haunted by memories. 
She believed her Uncle Mason was the culprit.

Then in the Taken in the Woods ,
she is faced with the reality her memories lied to her. 
The man she should be hiding from is called Nic Blaque. 


Lies also affected Craig life. 
Lies told by his own father, Hank and readily believed by his closest friends and most of the town. 
By telling the truth to Autumn he earned her trust and respect, and
Autumn finally told Craig the truth about her dark past when it caught up to her in the woods.

Can she learn to do the same with her parents before it is too late? 
Will her life have a happy ending or will she be Drowned by Fear?



Happy Reading!
Sarah Richards

Free Time.

What do I do when I am not writing?

Many people are under a miss guided notion that being primarily a stay-at-home mom means I have oodles of free time.

This is not usually the case. As an author, freelance artist and designer in addition to having many domestic art hobbies, free time is a luxury I don't often find myself with.

This week I have decided to make time for my family. I have been playing Legos with my son. We create stop motion animation by taking pictures of each step and then make it into a movie.

Check out all the videos on
my website.

Resolution or Revolution.

The new year is marked by resolutions.
Exercise more. Swear less. Diet.

A few years ago, I made a New Year's resolution to never make another resolution.
That was the longest resolution I have been able to keep. The inevitable has happened though.
I am breaking it.

From Australia's Marionette Life Thingy

If you want to know the taste of a pear, you must change the pear by eating it yourself. If you want to know the theory and methods of revolution, you must take part. All genuine knowledge originates in direct experience.
~Mao Zedong

This quote found it's way to my inbox this morning and got me to thinking about the similarities and differences between resolutions and revolutions. In both, Zedong's statement about how all genuine knowledge comes from direct experience holds true. 

In order for there to be a revolution, there must be Revolutionists. 
In the same respect, a resolution must have a Resolutionist.

New Year's isn't the only time in the year where resolution are made. 
The Catholic Church calls it Lent.

It is technically a perpetration time for believers. A time for extra prayer, penance and repentance.
A time where, as I learned from participants in school days to give up candy and soda pop. 

A time for self-denial.

Now think back on all the New Year's resolutions you have made. I know I did.
Is it marked with self-denail?

Exercise more equals less time for other hobbies and relaxation. 
Swearing less equals a self censorship on a section of vocabulary.
Dieting equals giving up candy and soda pop.

See the theme. 
Why are resolutions, New Year's and Lenten, mostly of a self-denial, negative nature? 
I am tired of setting myself up for failure. 

Lent isn't about a time of self denial, it is a bout developing a closer relationship to God.
Not just for the six weeks of lent, but for a lifetime.

Shouldn't New's Year's resolutions be the same?

The potential for a revolution awaits all of us.

Is the same stigma for resolution going to set us up for failure again this year, or will we answer the call to be a Revolutionary?

For lent, I don't give things up. I work on improving an aspect of my life, to consciously change my attitudes and behaviors. With Lent, when I vowed to improved my patience, with my son for example, I wasn't gifted this triait through prayer. Instead, opportunities were given to practice this virtue.

This was a few years ago. I find myself still keeping that same lenten promise, that same resolution. Then one day, I noticed the opportunities to improve this area of my life weren't being given to me. They were always there. Through the act of addmitting this shortcomning, I was able to see areas for improvememnt.

I am applying the same theory to New Year's. 
I am breaking an old resolution in order to gain genuine knowledge. 

Just like cleaning my house, to tackle it all at once is overwhelming and will only result in a feeling of failure for me. Instead, I walk in to each room and fix the first thing that bothers me the most. The house gets cleaner and a a sense of accomplishment is mine.

Over this morning's cup of coffee, I looked at my life in the same way I clean. Because, after all, that is essentially what I am doing.

When my mornings are hectic and the things that are going wrong seem the most prevalent, my whole day will be a clone of those first moments. So I resolve to find the silver lining in my coffee cup. 

While I am drink that first cup of the day, I will not be dwelling in the medical bills that are piling up, on the car that seems to start successfully less and less, or on the furniture/appliances my three year old has proudly figured out how to take apart.

For the few minutes it takes me to drink that first cup, I will think about the reason for the medical bill sitting next to the coffee maker. The cause of many lifelong problems I have endured had been found. 

The car may have troubles, but through encouragement and problem solving my husband and I can keep it going for a while longer. 

My son isn't just taking things apart, he is learning how things work. He is questioning and endeavoring to find the answers.

Now that I have made this resolution, I expect to be handed many opportunities to excel. 

Who are we kidding?! 
I will fail, but I will learn.
It is the experiences that will ensure the lessons learned won't be forgotten.

Begin a revolution in your own life. I promise, you won't be the same again.  
For me it begins with coffee.

Home-made Tap Shoes for Kids.

Snow, Snow, Snow!
It won't be long before we'll all be there with snow.
As I type this post I am singing those lines and more.

For those who might not recognize the song, it is from White Christmas.
A movie with singing, dancing and snow!
A cinematic classic in my book.

I was watching this movie with my four-year-old son.
He was in awe of the music and mesmerized by the dancing.

I asked him, "Would you like to learn to dance and sing like Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye?"

"No Mommy," he almost reluctantly replied. "I'm going to be an engineer like Daddy. We are going to build airplanes together. Maybe even spaceships!"

"That sound's like a great plan, but you can have hobbies like singing and dancing if you want."

"I can?" He pauses. "What's a hobby?"

"Well, Daddy works on planes for work but he does woodworking and homebrewing as his hobbies. Now I write and design or draw things for my job, but what do you see me doing for hobbies?"

"Well," he drags this word out into about 15 syllables as he thinks. "You play with yarn and thread alot, And sing. You are always singing for church."

"That's right, good observations. I crochet and cross-stitch. And I sing for church a lot too. So, would you like to learn how to tap dance as your hobby?"

"Yes, that would be okay with me."

After this conversation it was time for his nap or rather rest time.
Until I know for sure he was interested enough to pursue real tap shoes and dance lessons,
I needed a homemade solution. 

Creating tap shoes is actually really simple.
All it takes is a handful of pennies, a hot glue gun and an old pair of shoes.

Tap dancing is really hard on decks and any flooring. 
I placed a drawing board down for him to dance on, but you could also try a scrap piece of wood or even cardboard.
At some point the pennies will fall off, but you can always glue them back on as the dancer takes a snack break.



Here's a look at the homemade shoe in action.
My son says he is putting on his happy feet when he wears them.
This is the middle of an hour long performance for me.



Watching White Christmas was a fun way to start the holiday season.
I am now in a holly, jolly mood as I watch my son dance for hours with his new found hobby.
I wish everyone a very merry and blessed Christmas!

Interruptions or Inspriations?

This is how I feel some days about interruptions.




Then I questioned myself.
Why do I laugh at this clip when I find it annoying in my daily life?

The moment of question came when my husband was away for work again.
It honestly felt like I had just closed my eyes to go to sleep that night when I heard a little voice.

"Psst."

I was confused in my sleepy stupor.
Is the dog passing gas next to the bed again?

"Psst!"

Now it sounds urgent. I should probably get up and let him out.

"Psst!"

I opened my eyes.
Centimeters from my face was my son.
I felt his eyelashes when he blinked.

"I'm hungry." He stated simply. "Is it breakfast time?"

I was too groggy to think of anything other than sleep as I stared back at him.
He blinked again.
I felt the flutter.
Flutter?

Memories of butterflies came back to me in that blink of an eye.
I am irrationally terrified of butterflies.

In this memory, my mom was questioning if my fear was real.
She had picked a fallen butterfly off the sidewalk and tossed it to me.
It stuck to my shirt.
The wind blew and the wings fluttered.

The next thing I did I am not proud of...
I became the definition of screams and runs like a girl.
I flapped my arms with limp wrists crying through tear soaked sobs,
"Get it off! Get it off!"

Suddenly, I was awake.

A few years ago my brain experienced serious trauma.
I lost my long term and short term memory.
I had to relearn how to do everything.
Walking, drawing, thinking, writing....the list goes on.

But with the interruption to my sleep, I had been gifted with one lost memory being returned.
It isn't one I am proud of, but I remember.
I remember!

I made my son a bowl of yogurt and granola.
His favorite, I kid you not.
I grabbed the grocery list pad of paper off the fridge and poured myself a cup of coffee.

After we prayed over breakfast, I wrote a reminder to myself:

Write from life,
Write from experiences,
Write from gained knowledge,
Write from interruptions.

Interruptions are a gift not a nuisance.
Most of the time.
Sometimes it is harder to see past our own selfish agendas, but when we do something unexpectedly good can inspire us.

I encourage you to be inspired, not interrupted today.

Honesty. Courtesy. Perseverance.

I am forever putting myself down.
This book isn't written well enough.
This drawing isn't life like enough.
I play piano more poorly than my four-year-old.

Negativity is my bad habit.
Eventually, I started catching myself being negative to others just to make my self feel better.

I might not think I sing well, but at least I am not as tone deaf at my husband.
Thoughts like this one eventually become attitudes that find their voice through words.
I had to find a solution to ending this cycle of negativity.

I tried comvincing myself I wasn't being a  pesemist.
I was a realist.
No matter what I called it, the behaviors and thoghts continued.
Rationalization was making me hard, brittle like a faded statue about to crumble.

Discoverytsx.comHonesty, courtesy and perseverance is the journey I began to change the habits that were destroying my quality of life.
Instead of tackling the whole mountain of problems in my life, I started conquering it one step, one second at a time. Because seconds turn into minutes, which turn into hours. Hours become days, weeks, months and eventually years.

Honesty.The first step is always the hardest.
Inching closer to the edge as the merry-go-round of life spins. The people and places around me are in a blur as I prepare to jump. Looking back I long to stand in the center. It is the easiest place to feel comfortable; forcing the people around me to be on the precarious edge so I can be the center of attention, the center of importance, the center of this part of the world.

Self preservation isn't something to be ashamed of, it is part of being human.
We would not have survived past cave man days without it, or would we have?
Co-operation begins when an individual in a community is honest with themselves about their own aptitudes and ineptitude.
Hence the hunter and gatherer distinctions.

What are your talents and well honed skills?
What are your shortcomings? Where are you frail?
Only once you are honest with yourself will the life long habit(s) being to weaken.
It was only then I was able to find the courage to jump off the merry-go-round.

Courtesy.The magic words in my house are please and thank you.
My son has learned he will not get what he is asking for without using them.
It can be begrudgingly or with genuine feeling.
Why would I accept empty words?
Because I am helping him build a habit. A good habit.

It is so easy to grumble and complain about something I don't like.
Finding the good in a bad situation can be very difficult.
But when I stop trying to find it, I've learned it becomes harder and harder.

Like buried treasure, sand will keep collecting and over time those tiny rocks will become pebbles which will build into boulders with collect to form mountains.

Our habits harden us overtime in the same way.
How does one excavate treasure?
Don't blow up the mountain.
The treasure buried that is us will become more damaged and hurt.
I learned we need to chisel away our bad habits until the beautiful sculpture that is us remains.
We need to replace habits of swearing, demeaning sarcasm and materialism with something better.

By simple saying simple words of pleasantness and courtesy, their meaning will slowly begin to affect our attitudes.

Perseverance.It is so easy to spout the cliches of how important and rewarding overcoming difficulties through hard work, patience and perseverance is, but they won't help. I learned this the hard way.
Words are meaningless with out action achieved through hard work.

"I know that sounds so ABC Family drama, but cliches and stereotypes exist because they hold some degree of truth, right?"
(said by Autumn Croft in Left on the Edge by Sarah Richards)

The only way to discover and understand the value or wisdom in cliches is to give them a try.

Failure is inevitable.
But statistically the more you try, the closer you come to achieving or attain your goal.
Math doesn't lie. 
It can be misunderstood like the things and people in our lives, but that doesn't make the truth disappear.

Persist in changing habits not by looking at the whole mountain before you, rather decide to change one little moment, one second at a time.
Instead of honking your car horn and swearing at a driver who just cut you off, slow down and let them in.

Change doesn't happen all at once.
It takes time, just like the construction of the terra cotta army of Qin Shi Huang.
Human evolution took billions of years.
Wind and water needed time to make the Grand Canyon.
There is no fast fix for behaviors and habits.

But if we all make an effort, think of how much stronger our communities will be.
Stronger communities where we rely on each other will not only improve our lives individually, but one community will start to bind to another community in the same way that  individuals do in order to form a global community.

Each terra cotta solider is unique and can fend off one evil in the afterlife, but with an army the first emperor began his next journey with the strength of a community.

Honesty. Courtesy. Perseverance.
It will take a lifetime to sculpt the work of art that is each and every one of us.
How do you want your statue to look?

My Lifestyle in a Cup.

I start thinking about the day as my husband and I sip the morning cup, or pot in my case. The caffeine provides the energy boost to act on the list of responsibilities lined up for the day. The last step in the daily ritual of coffee is to share our day as the energy levels dwindle.
by My Inner Child (slowly catching up)Coffee is more than a morning necessity, it is a lifestyle.
For some people epiphanies occur on the toilet or in the shower, mine are after espresso. On the front porch watching planes flying overhead with an empty cup in hand, more than just my eyes were opened. Daily life outlined by coffee habits can be applied to anything.
Learn how forgetfulness creates worrying, not thinking. How observations fuel questions to spur on action. How fear of failure can be eliminated by sharing.
Think.First thoughts of the morning for me usually go something like this: Does my husband have morning or afternoon meetings or both? Was my son’s doctor appointment at one or two? Are the library books due today or tomorrow? What is going to be for supper? Do I need to start it in the morning, afternoon or evening? Are there any outstanding orders I haven’t fulfilled for clients yet?
Then I question my thoughts. Am I preparing or worrying about my day before it beings? 

Worrying isn't the same as thinking.

Creating a schedule posted in the kitchen of life’s responsibilities and keeping it constantly updated is an easy way to eliminate some forgetfulness, which reduces worrying. Then time is found for thinking.

Do.Some days I simply review the schedule and following it. It isn’t deep thought, but the lack of worrying let me start my day positively. Being awake allows me to observe the world around me.

Observations are powerful.

Writers don’t invent fiction, the story was already there; they are just the record it.Artists interpret visual energy with paint for all to see. Scientist and engineers use two dimensions, writing numbers on paper, to explain an infinite number of dimensions needed to make the theory work.

The more I observe, the more questions I start to think, and the more I question the more actions I need to take to find a solution. This is where fear sneaks in with threats of failure.
Share.

Failure is an unnecessary fear.

Know that you are going to fail at some point, and know that you are going to get back up and try again. Inaction creates doubt and from doubt grows fear. Be courageous every day by starting with confidence instead of worry.

Observations are not right or wrong, they just are.

The world that we observe through our own way of thinking would be worthless if it wasn’t shared. Worth isn’t measured in fame, money or power, but in accumulated knowledge. Modern electricity might not allow me to type out these thoughts if Franklin hadn’t shared his observations of electrical energy first.
Instead of an individualistic society, we need to develop a community.
Think of the last time you sat in a café or a bar. Over a cup of coffee or pint of beer you chat, I know I do. Sharing tales of fishing hunting or shopping are all shared observations from our lives. Why should it stop there?
Think. Do. Share.A simple motto inspired by a cup of espresso.

Never too old to dream.

This morning I dropped my son off at school, and then I head straight to the library to visit some old friends and make new ones as I pursued the books on the shelves.

What I encountered was so surreal that I broke the number one rule at a library.
 I squealed, loudly.



My debut book is on a shelf for others to read.
A dream I hadn't even known I was holding close to my heart had come true in that moment.

My second book, Taken in the Woods, is going to be published by October 1, 2013.
Now one of my dreams is to see it nestled next to Left on the Edge in the library.

These dreams are making me more motivated and energized to finish the trilogy than if I had drunk a whole pot of coffee. 

Dreams are amazing things.
Just because you grow older doesn't mean you stop having them.

The start of the Woodmere Trilogy begins with the main character Autumn celebrating her birthday.

"Happy Seventeenth Birthday, Autumn," Marion said. "Go on, make a wish.”
“I’m too old to make wishes,” Autumn retorted.
Leaning forward and holding her wavy reddish hair back, Autumn exhaled a small gust. I wish I could meet the man of my dreams this year, she thought before the last candle was extinguished.
(Taken from Left on the Edge)

As Autumn experiences in the Woodmere Trilogy,
dreams come true
in ways you wish for and in ways unexpected.

I first remember wanting to take care of sick animals when I was little.
My mom and dad informed me that was the job of a veterinarian.

Then I read an obscure book I picked up from the St. Charles Parish Library when I was in grade school.
Scrub Dog of Alaska by Walt Morey and it changed my mind.
I wanted to run in the Iditarod and own a dog sled team.

But like most childhood dreams there were complications.
No snow.
I was living in Louisiana.
No dogs allowed.
My mom is allergic to dogs.

I knew it wasn't going to happen, but that wasn't going to stop me from dreaming about it.
I filled page after page in my notebook in school (It was more fun than taking notes!) with drawings of mushers and sled dogs hard at work pulling loads of emergency supplies to people in need.

I never stopped reading.
I never stopped spending countless hours, days, years at the library listening to the stories come to life through my imagination as I read book after book

As my biography says, I have a Siberian Husky.
While I am not running medical supplies to those in need, the neighborhood opossums and squirrels have learned to stay away or become faster than a sled dog.
Neighbors have taken to thanking my dog with ham bones for riding their gardens of rabbits.
So in a way, my wish to help others with a sled dog has come true.
Like Autumn, it happened in ways I didn't foresee.

What were your childhood dreams? Have they come true? How have your dreams changed changed?

Anonymity.

In the car with tinted windows or the sun glaring off the glass making your identity masked, do you become anonymous? On the Internet with user names to mask your identity, do you become anonymous?
Does anonymity take away the consequences for disrespectful behavior and poor choices?

Design by JayJayBirdsnest.comRoad rage.
I think it is safe to say at one point or another we have all been guilty of road rage.
It is hard not to take road behaviors personally.

For example, the "zipper" is not a difficult concept on the interstate.
There was a sign indicating a merge a mile back. Getting over while slowing slightly allows most to merge without breaking. Every other car, like a zipper and traffic flows well.
Then there is the one car that has to speed to the front of the line.

It is frustrating.
You followed the rules, you showed common courtesy and then someone makes everyone behind him hit the breaks because he feels he is more important.

But is that what the driver thinks?
How can we know the circumstance without being in the car with the other driver?
We can't.

Assumptions against the character of other drivers are just as disrespectful as the perceived wrong you feel they commit against you.

Yes there are bad people out there.
Yes there are selfish people out there.
But, the way we judge others is a reflection on ourselves, our personal character.

Anonymity allows gives a false sense of security.
Acting under the alias of anonymity allows us the privilege to be act out life as an actress or actor on stage.
If I can't be identified, I can't be held accountable.
Wrong.

You are not the narrator or writer.
You are not omniscient.
So, don't act and speak as though you are infallible.
There is only one entity who is capable of know what every creature on this planet as done and their intentions, their reasons. Only one who can work outside the constant of time.
(I mean besides The Doctor.)

Online it is easy to offer opinions as fact through the false authority a user name gives.
It is easy to be intentionally or unintentionally hurtful with criticism and reviews.

After all...
What consequences are there for "speaking" harshly to people you have never met?
Who is going to hold us accountable for our actions if no one knows our identity?

Anonymity. 
There is no such thing.

As a mom, I don't have to know the particulars or see my son in the act of committing a transgression to know something has happened. It is apparent in his behavior.

The slink of in his stride.
The slump of his shoulders.
The guilt crinkling his forehead.
The acknowledgment in his eyes.

At one point every one had these mannerisms.
Do you still hold yourself accountable?

I am an open book of emotions and moods.
My mom always could tell when I did something wrong.
Now, my husband knows better then I do sometimes when I am not comfortable with a deed I did or know about. I don't always have the chance to process a moment before others know all.
This is a blessing.

I am being held accountable by those who know and love me best even if they know nothing of the event.
My overdeveloped conscious ensures I will still be held accountable even if I am alone.

A conscious isn't just a cricket.
It is a sense of awareness.
A sensitivity of what we are doing, what others are doing around us.
The sensations and thoughts that accompany the situation.

At some point in our lives we will loose this awareness.
It can be temporary amnesia or a conscientious choice.

I choose too follow the rule I taught my son.

"I will treat others as I want to be treated."

From the bad, good is still present.
We just have to recognize it.
You will not always be treated with the kindness you extend, but deciding to show patience and courtesy to others before acting on assumptions will allow you to recognize the good in any situation.

I choose to not be anonymous.
I am Sarah Jo Richards.
I take responsibility for my words and actions.

Do you?