Pamela Ann's Blog, page 6
January 28, 2013
Giving Away 10 Copies of Scornfully Yours!!!!
I'm giving away free copies(kindle/nook)of my upcoming book Scornfully Yours. I will be choosing the winners by Thursday!
Like my author page and write your name under the wall post BOOK GIVEAWAY.
THANK YOU ALL!!!!
Pamela Ann xo
♥This book is intended for readers who has a serious fixation for hotshot actors and playboy athletes♥
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pamela-...Scornfully Yours
Like my author page and write your name under the wall post BOOK GIVEAWAY.
THANK YOU ALL!!!!
Pamela Ann xo
♥This book is intended for readers who has a serious fixation for hotshot actors and playboy athletes♥
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pamela-...Scornfully Yours
January 13, 2013
January 9, 2013
Chasing Imperfection is now AVAILABLE!
It's now out in Barnes & Noble and Smashwords. Amazon is taking awhile to go live but should be up today or tomorrow.
Thank you all! And enjoy :)
NOW OUT ON AMAZON :
http://www.amazon.com/Chasing-Imperfe...
B&N:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/chasi...
Smashwords:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...Chasing Imperfection
Thank you all! And enjoy :)
NOW OUT ON AMAZON :
http://www.amazon.com/Chasing-Imperfe...
B&N:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/chasi...
Smashwords:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...Chasing Imperfection
December 11, 2012
Lily's Mistake Draft Sample
Chapter 1
“Hello?”
“How did your job interview go honey?” My mother’s soft voice asked on the other end.
“It looked promising. They said they’ll call me in two weeks”, I said as I maneuvered the car out of the parking lot. I’ve been job hunting for the last three months with no prospect at all. I got laid off in my other secretarial job when Mrs. Donald caught Mr. Donald tried to seduce me. Allan Donald was a true gentleman….that is before his usual cocktail concoction of gin and brandy for breakfast….then he becomes a little ‘comfortable’. It wasn’t the first time I slapped his hand away but this time—Carla Donald was there to witness it and fired me on the spot.
“I called because Patricia’s back in town and wants you to join us for lunch at The Four Seasons.” Patricia Tatum’s my godmother and my mother’s best friend since they were in diapers. She married Hugh Tatum, a very well-known import/export business man and also a major investor in backing up Hollywood blockbuster films.
“What time? It’s almost noon.”
“Well, yes dear, we need you to meet us right now.”
“Sure. See you in a bit.” It was almost lunchtime and my stomach growled. A simple lunch at The Four Seasons would just be super! What can possibly go wrong?
My appetite apparently, as my godmother unfolded the reason behind this sudden lunch date.
“Excuse me did you just say Drake’s thinking of marriage?”
“Yes and to a monstrous gold-digging horrible woman!” Patricia dabbed the sides of her eyes. The woman was a complete mess when I joined them five minutes prior.
Drake Tatum’s planning on marriage? No shit. I don’t know if I should be happy or cry a freaking dam of tears to that news. Drake Tatum used to be the center of my universe. He was my first loved and the first man I have ever made love to. And the very same man, who walked away like I was diseased the next day he took my virginity away.
Drake’s two years older than me. Now, he’s engaged at the age of twenty-eight? Isn’t that a bit early for a well-known ‘man whore’ to marry? Oh yeah, Drake’s long line of women are quite known around Hollywood. He dates up and coming actresses, models, musicians and so forth. He’s working alongside his father, his notoriety is legendary. I should know…I mean I did Google the man once in awhile.
“….would that work for you dear?” my mom asked. Both women looked at me like I had the answer for salvation.
“Huh? Sorry my mind went off somewhere….” Yeah, somewhere that shouldn’t have Drake in it. He was the epitome of a player. He’s an insensitive prick and a two-timing prick to boot! He was the worst of the worst.
“I was asking if you would be Drake’s secretary for awhile? His recent one just quit because his girlfriend, Shannon, drove the poor girl crazy.”
HUH?
“Me? I don’t want to work with Drake. He and I hate each other for crying out loud!” Everybody knows it. I haven’t laid eyes on him since I was eighteen and I want to keep it that way.
“Please, Lily, my son’s future is on the line here. All I need for you to do is report to me about Shannon and make her a little jealous,” Patricia stopped me before I objected, “I’ve met her and she’s all fake. I know you and Drake don’t get along but please, Hugh and I are desperate here.”
“Even Hugh hates her?” How was that possible? Hugh loves everyone as long as you’re not against him in the business arena; he’s all hugs and kisses.
Patricia nodded. “Will you do this for us honey? You’re like a daughter to me, Lil. I would appreciate it if you can lend us a hand.”
Man, she used the ‘you’re like my daughter line’. How can I say no to that? If I ever had a second mom, that would be Patricia. She and Hugh did treat me like I was their own. Well, I did grow up with them. Hugh and my father became close as well. My father’s death when I was seventeen made our bond with the Tatum’s even stronger. Drake spent a lot of his time studying in Columbia and stayed around New York after he graduated. He comes to Los Angeles once in awhile from what I gathered from my mother and Patricia.
“Okay, I’ll do it for you and Hugh.” Patricia got up and hugged me.
“Thank you, Lil! I knew I could count on you!” she kissed my forehead and squeezed my hand and went back to her chair.
“Now all you have to do is try not to kill each other before fixing this problem with Shannon, hmmm?” my mother, Hope, quirked her dark eyebrows at me.
“We shall see.” I murmured.
I spent another hour with them and skipped the spa ritual that always followed lunch. They did this once or twice a week and I try to join them as much as I could but today, I felt like being alone.
My thoughts wandered around Drake ever since Patricia mentioned him. Drake and I grew up together. We were inseparable and I worshipped the ground that he walked on. I suppose I loved him too much that I didn’t see any of his flaws. The worshipping started at the age of eight I think. His clear grey eyes never failed to capture and held me in a trance. Even at that young age, Drake was already a handsome kid.
Everything changed that summer after I turned eighteen.
Chapter Two
8 years ago… Playa del Carmen, Mexico
“Are you two sure that it’ll be okay to stay overnight in Cozumel?” Hugh asked both Drake and me.
“I don’t mind staying here I want to go to the beach party tonight.” I smiled at Hugh and Patricia.
I met Ricardo last night at the local bar and he invited me at this beach party tonight and I’m so going. Drake was always talking on the phone to his new girlfriend anyway and has been ignoring me mostly the entire time. We’ve been here for four days and he’s only asked me to swim with him once. ONCE! Back in the day, he and I used to do everything together. I guess Columbia changed him.
“We’re good here mom, dad. You guys have fun!” Drake hugged each of his parents and they kissed him back and waved goodbye.
At the oddest times, I missed my dad. It used to be all six of us vacationing here, but now it’s just four of us. Mom decided the last minute to join her friend in Paris for a whole month. It’s only been over a year since my dad’s passing, but I still missed him like mad. I guess this missing hole will stay there forever and I would never be the same.
I bit my lip and started to walk towards the kitchen when Drake spoke.
“You’re going alone to a beach party tonight?”
Oh now, he’s talking to me? “No. I have a date. In fact, he’s picking me at four, so that leaves me another hour.” I announced over my shoulder and continued walking towards the kitchen.
I got a mango from the sprawling fruit bowl on the granite kitchen counter and went to go get a knife when Drake joined me. He sat on the counter next to chopping board.
“Who’s your date?”
Peeling the mango and chopped it in halves.
“His name’s Ricardo, why?”
“I don’t want you going on dates, Lil. You’re too innocent for those things.” He took a mango and popped it in his lush mouth. My eyes glued to his pink lips. His Adam’s apple bobbed and I studied his masculine neck. Everything about him was just all masculine and truly sexy. And that hot handsome face, where do I begin? I want him so bad! But he never noticed me that way and I guess I’m not too pretty or sexy for him. And I’m tired of waiting for him to come to his senses.
Yeah, I’ve been waiting! I’ve waited for so long for him until he asked me out. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that I adored and loved Drake. I declined each guy who asked me out all through high school because there was never a doubt in my mind that I only ever want Drake and no one else. I even had enough balls to throw myself at him during New Year’s Eve but he pushed me off. There went my happy ever after, dashed hopes and dreams.
Well, not for long. I’m finally getting rid of my virginity thank you very much. And that chosen man is the hot Brazilian Ricardo Belmonte!
I shrugged. “Not for long, I won’t!” I sauntered my hot pink bikini clad body towards the open patio doors, sat on one of the cushioned loungers and enjoyed the view with my mangoes.
“Hold on, Lily. You can’t be serious right? You barely know this Ricardo dude! You can’t just do that!” Drake sat across me only wearing his surfer shorts. He didn’t even bother checking out almost naked body. See what I mean? He’s immune to me. Whatever, life moves on.
I tried to train my eyes away from those perfect washboard abs and those steel metallic grey eyes. Why does have to be so fucking hot??? His dirty blonde hair even had that sexy out-of-the-bed look. GAWD!
“Whatever Drake, is that all?” I took a bite from a mango slice and licked my fingers. I love me some mangoes, I thought happily.
“No, it’s not ALL. It’s stupid idea, Lil. You’re not stupid, so don’t do stupid things that you will soon regret.”
I sat up from the lounger and faced him. “You’re one to talk! What’s your problem anyway? Now you’re talking to me? You think I haven’t noticed how you’ve tried to ignore me the entire time? I’m not an idiot, Drake. I told you I was sorry about what happened during New Year’s but for some reason you still feel weird about it.” I screeched at him. When I glanced at him his eyes were on my breasts but he immediately dragged his eyes away and stared at the sea instead. Sigh.
“This is not about New Year’s Lil. You know what! Do what you want!” He sounded angry and got up and left for the beach. His well sculpted back and bottom was even gorgeous! Great! I really need to get over it!
It’s high time Drake Tatum move out of my mind and hopefully out of my heart.
“You look very beautiful, Lily, mi belleza!” Ricardo purred. We were at the restaurant we agreed to meet up on. The party was close by and he wanted for us to grab something to eat first before partying it up.
“Gracias, Ricardo.” I kissed his tanned cheek. He led us inside the restaurant and was immediately sat overlooking the breathtakingly beautiful Caribbean Sea.
I don’t consider myself in the ‘knockout’ department but some guys find me appealing. I’m five-four in stature, have dark brown hair and eyes, long hair and quite lacking in the breast department with my B-cups. The only redeemable asset was my perky bottom. My lithe toned body can be thanked from my night time swim and dedication to Pilates.
We hit the beach party right around six and the sun was setting beautifully as the backdrop. Spanish raggaeton music was blaring loud on the speakers. I already had two strawberry margaritas and I loved the carefree beach ambiance.
Ricardo and I went over to the bar and he ordered four shots of Patron.
“To mi belleza! And to your beautiful vacation in Mexico!” Ricardo held up his shot glass.
“Cheers Ricky Ricardo!” I hooted back and took the shots back to back. The Patron burned smoothly down my throat and my stomach, “Ahh.”
“Come on, time to party!”
Ricardo hugged my hips as we grinded with the music. I was pretty much plastered but I didn’t care much because finally, I’m letting go and finally having fun!
I giggled when Ricardo’s lips found the back of my ear. “You smell good belleza.”
“GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!” Drake yanked me off Ricardo in an instant. I blinked a few times. My hazy drunk-filled state confused me for a second.
“Drake”
“Hey! She’s my girl. Go look for a different one to tango with, no? She’s mine!” A drunken Ricky Ricardo said.
“Lily’s always been mine.”
“Mierda!” Ricardo cussed and left to go to the bar.
“Hey!” I called out to him but Drake dragged me away from the party and stomped towards the shore that led to villa. It was half a mile away. I’ll be damned if I’m walking that far drunk.
“What the FUCK Drake! I’m going back to party!” I tried to detach my arm from his tight hold but he held me closer.
“Let me go, Drake!”
“Don’t fight me off Lily. You’re drunk!” We stopped walking and he glared at me with those steel eyes. Shit, the moonlight made him look like a dark hot…sexy panther.
Earth to Lily, hello? I swallowed. Get a grip Lil, seriously!
“What are you doing Drake?” I whispered to him, searching the depths of his ice grey eyes.
“We’ll talk about it once we get to the villa.” He said and turned on his heel and started walking again.
I looked back at the party and realized that we’ve been walking for quite some time now. The beach was alit with full moon, I stopped and took in the scene and tried to calm my hammering heart. Why was Drake acting out of character? He’s never acted this way.
Maybe he realized he loves me after all? Fat chance….but what if it was?
“Drake, stop”
“What?” He said over his shoulder but did stop and gazed at the beautiful moonlit sea.
I was quite unsure how to broach the subject but it was now or never. It’s just him and me out here for tonight. Surely he’s not going to push me away?
“Why are you acting like a jealous boyfriend? I thought you said you weren’t interested…” I bit my lip as I saw him stomp towards me. His chiseled body looked even more appealing with moonlight basking it aglow and his eyes smoldered liquid silver.
My body started to tremor looking at the beautiful handsome creature before me. His face was masked with something I couldn’t quite figure out. It was intense and forbidding. We stood there for a good minute, staring at each other. Wondering what the fuck is going on. “Drake….”
“You shouldn’t want a man like me Lil. I’m not good enough for you.” No….You’re even better….I’ve never met anyone like you. The rest of the men lacked brilliance when compared to you….
“Why would say that? You’re the only one I want.” I moved closer, feeling brazen when he didn’t move. I tiptoed and licked his lips. He tasted of salt and something masculine. My heart was beating erratically I felt exhilarated and faint at the same time to be so close with him. “I want you….I want you to be the one to take my virginity away.”
“I don’t think you get what I’m trying to tell you here…”
“I do, but would you rather I do it with someone else then, like Ricardo perhaps?” I knew I was playing with fire….but I was desperate. I want Drake to see me as a woman. A woman he can be with and desire—not the little girl with frilly dresses that would follow him around.
“Don’t even go there, Lil! OKAY—if this is what you want then meet me on the veranda in fifteen minutes. Go get ready because there will be no backing out once you come to me. Think it through, okay?”
Lily's Mistake
“Hello?”
“How did your job interview go honey?” My mother’s soft voice asked on the other end.
“It looked promising. They said they’ll call me in two weeks”, I said as I maneuvered the car out of the parking lot. I’ve been job hunting for the last three months with no prospect at all. I got laid off in my other secretarial job when Mrs. Donald caught Mr. Donald tried to seduce me. Allan Donald was a true gentleman….that is before his usual cocktail concoction of gin and brandy for breakfast….then he becomes a little ‘comfortable’. It wasn’t the first time I slapped his hand away but this time—Carla Donald was there to witness it and fired me on the spot.
“I called because Patricia’s back in town and wants you to join us for lunch at The Four Seasons.” Patricia Tatum’s my godmother and my mother’s best friend since they were in diapers. She married Hugh Tatum, a very well-known import/export business man and also a major investor in backing up Hollywood blockbuster films.
“What time? It’s almost noon.”
“Well, yes dear, we need you to meet us right now.”
“Sure. See you in a bit.” It was almost lunchtime and my stomach growled. A simple lunch at The Four Seasons would just be super! What can possibly go wrong?
My appetite apparently, as my godmother unfolded the reason behind this sudden lunch date.
“Excuse me did you just say Drake’s thinking of marriage?”
“Yes and to a monstrous gold-digging horrible woman!” Patricia dabbed the sides of her eyes. The woman was a complete mess when I joined them five minutes prior.
Drake Tatum’s planning on marriage? No shit. I don’t know if I should be happy or cry a freaking dam of tears to that news. Drake Tatum used to be the center of my universe. He was my first loved and the first man I have ever made love to. And the very same man, who walked away like I was diseased the next day he took my virginity away.
Drake’s two years older than me. Now, he’s engaged at the age of twenty-eight? Isn’t that a bit early for a well-known ‘man whore’ to marry? Oh yeah, Drake’s long line of women are quite known around Hollywood. He dates up and coming actresses, models, musicians and so forth. He’s working alongside his father, his notoriety is legendary. I should know…I mean I did Google the man once in awhile.
“….would that work for you dear?” my mom asked. Both women looked at me like I had the answer for salvation.
“Huh? Sorry my mind went off somewhere….” Yeah, somewhere that shouldn’t have Drake in it. He was the epitome of a player. He’s an insensitive prick and a two-timing prick to boot! He was the worst of the worst.
“I was asking if you would be Drake’s secretary for awhile? His recent one just quit because his girlfriend, Shannon, drove the poor girl crazy.”
HUH?
“Me? I don’t want to work with Drake. He and I hate each other for crying out loud!” Everybody knows it. I haven’t laid eyes on him since I was eighteen and I want to keep it that way.
“Please, Lily, my son’s future is on the line here. All I need for you to do is report to me about Shannon and make her a little jealous,” Patricia stopped me before I objected, “I’ve met her and she’s all fake. I know you and Drake don’t get along but please, Hugh and I are desperate here.”
“Even Hugh hates her?” How was that possible? Hugh loves everyone as long as you’re not against him in the business arena; he’s all hugs and kisses.
Patricia nodded. “Will you do this for us honey? You’re like a daughter to me, Lil. I would appreciate it if you can lend us a hand.”
Man, she used the ‘you’re like my daughter line’. How can I say no to that? If I ever had a second mom, that would be Patricia. She and Hugh did treat me like I was their own. Well, I did grow up with them. Hugh and my father became close as well. My father’s death when I was seventeen made our bond with the Tatum’s even stronger. Drake spent a lot of his time studying in Columbia and stayed around New York after he graduated. He comes to Los Angeles once in awhile from what I gathered from my mother and Patricia.
“Okay, I’ll do it for you and Hugh.” Patricia got up and hugged me.
“Thank you, Lil! I knew I could count on you!” she kissed my forehead and squeezed my hand and went back to her chair.
“Now all you have to do is try not to kill each other before fixing this problem with Shannon, hmmm?” my mother, Hope, quirked her dark eyebrows at me.
“We shall see.” I murmured.
I spent another hour with them and skipped the spa ritual that always followed lunch. They did this once or twice a week and I try to join them as much as I could but today, I felt like being alone.
My thoughts wandered around Drake ever since Patricia mentioned him. Drake and I grew up together. We were inseparable and I worshipped the ground that he walked on. I suppose I loved him too much that I didn’t see any of his flaws. The worshipping started at the age of eight I think. His clear grey eyes never failed to capture and held me in a trance. Even at that young age, Drake was already a handsome kid.
Everything changed that summer after I turned eighteen.
Chapter Two
8 years ago… Playa del Carmen, Mexico
“Are you two sure that it’ll be okay to stay overnight in Cozumel?” Hugh asked both Drake and me.
“I don’t mind staying here I want to go to the beach party tonight.” I smiled at Hugh and Patricia.
I met Ricardo last night at the local bar and he invited me at this beach party tonight and I’m so going. Drake was always talking on the phone to his new girlfriend anyway and has been ignoring me mostly the entire time. We’ve been here for four days and he’s only asked me to swim with him once. ONCE! Back in the day, he and I used to do everything together. I guess Columbia changed him.
“We’re good here mom, dad. You guys have fun!” Drake hugged each of his parents and they kissed him back and waved goodbye.
At the oddest times, I missed my dad. It used to be all six of us vacationing here, but now it’s just four of us. Mom decided the last minute to join her friend in Paris for a whole month. It’s only been over a year since my dad’s passing, but I still missed him like mad. I guess this missing hole will stay there forever and I would never be the same.
I bit my lip and started to walk towards the kitchen when Drake spoke.
“You’re going alone to a beach party tonight?”
Oh now, he’s talking to me? “No. I have a date. In fact, he’s picking me at four, so that leaves me another hour.” I announced over my shoulder and continued walking towards the kitchen.
I got a mango from the sprawling fruit bowl on the granite kitchen counter and went to go get a knife when Drake joined me. He sat on the counter next to chopping board.
“Who’s your date?”
Peeling the mango and chopped it in halves.
“His name’s Ricardo, why?”
“I don’t want you going on dates, Lil. You’re too innocent for those things.” He took a mango and popped it in his lush mouth. My eyes glued to his pink lips. His Adam’s apple bobbed and I studied his masculine neck. Everything about him was just all masculine and truly sexy. And that hot handsome face, where do I begin? I want him so bad! But he never noticed me that way and I guess I’m not too pretty or sexy for him. And I’m tired of waiting for him to come to his senses.
Yeah, I’ve been waiting! I’ve waited for so long for him until he asked me out. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that I adored and loved Drake. I declined each guy who asked me out all through high school because there was never a doubt in my mind that I only ever want Drake and no one else. I even had enough balls to throw myself at him during New Year’s Eve but he pushed me off. There went my happy ever after, dashed hopes and dreams.
Well, not for long. I’m finally getting rid of my virginity thank you very much. And that chosen man is the hot Brazilian Ricardo Belmonte!
I shrugged. “Not for long, I won’t!” I sauntered my hot pink bikini clad body towards the open patio doors, sat on one of the cushioned loungers and enjoyed the view with my mangoes.
“Hold on, Lily. You can’t be serious right? You barely know this Ricardo dude! You can’t just do that!” Drake sat across me only wearing his surfer shorts. He didn’t even bother checking out almost naked body. See what I mean? He’s immune to me. Whatever, life moves on.
I tried to train my eyes away from those perfect washboard abs and those steel metallic grey eyes. Why does have to be so fucking hot??? His dirty blonde hair even had that sexy out-of-the-bed look. GAWD!
“Whatever Drake, is that all?” I took a bite from a mango slice and licked my fingers. I love me some mangoes, I thought happily.
“No, it’s not ALL. It’s stupid idea, Lil. You’re not stupid, so don’t do stupid things that you will soon regret.”
I sat up from the lounger and faced him. “You’re one to talk! What’s your problem anyway? Now you’re talking to me? You think I haven’t noticed how you’ve tried to ignore me the entire time? I’m not an idiot, Drake. I told you I was sorry about what happened during New Year’s but for some reason you still feel weird about it.” I screeched at him. When I glanced at him his eyes were on my breasts but he immediately dragged his eyes away and stared at the sea instead. Sigh.
“This is not about New Year’s Lil. You know what! Do what you want!” He sounded angry and got up and left for the beach. His well sculpted back and bottom was even gorgeous! Great! I really need to get over it!
It’s high time Drake Tatum move out of my mind and hopefully out of my heart.
“You look very beautiful, Lily, mi belleza!” Ricardo purred. We were at the restaurant we agreed to meet up on. The party was close by and he wanted for us to grab something to eat first before partying it up.
“Gracias, Ricardo.” I kissed his tanned cheek. He led us inside the restaurant and was immediately sat overlooking the breathtakingly beautiful Caribbean Sea.
I don’t consider myself in the ‘knockout’ department but some guys find me appealing. I’m five-four in stature, have dark brown hair and eyes, long hair and quite lacking in the breast department with my B-cups. The only redeemable asset was my perky bottom. My lithe toned body can be thanked from my night time swim and dedication to Pilates.
We hit the beach party right around six and the sun was setting beautifully as the backdrop. Spanish raggaeton music was blaring loud on the speakers. I already had two strawberry margaritas and I loved the carefree beach ambiance.
Ricardo and I went over to the bar and he ordered four shots of Patron.
“To mi belleza! And to your beautiful vacation in Mexico!” Ricardo held up his shot glass.
“Cheers Ricky Ricardo!” I hooted back and took the shots back to back. The Patron burned smoothly down my throat and my stomach, “Ahh.”
“Come on, time to party!”
Ricardo hugged my hips as we grinded with the music. I was pretty much plastered but I didn’t care much because finally, I’m letting go and finally having fun!
I giggled when Ricardo’s lips found the back of my ear. “You smell good belleza.”
“GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!” Drake yanked me off Ricardo in an instant. I blinked a few times. My hazy drunk-filled state confused me for a second.
“Drake”
“Hey! She’s my girl. Go look for a different one to tango with, no? She’s mine!” A drunken Ricky Ricardo said.
“Lily’s always been mine.”
“Mierda!” Ricardo cussed and left to go to the bar.
“Hey!” I called out to him but Drake dragged me away from the party and stomped towards the shore that led to villa. It was half a mile away. I’ll be damned if I’m walking that far drunk.
“What the FUCK Drake! I’m going back to party!” I tried to detach my arm from his tight hold but he held me closer.
“Let me go, Drake!”
“Don’t fight me off Lily. You’re drunk!” We stopped walking and he glared at me with those steel eyes. Shit, the moonlight made him look like a dark hot…sexy panther.
Earth to Lily, hello? I swallowed. Get a grip Lil, seriously!
“What are you doing Drake?” I whispered to him, searching the depths of his ice grey eyes.
“We’ll talk about it once we get to the villa.” He said and turned on his heel and started walking again.
I looked back at the party and realized that we’ve been walking for quite some time now. The beach was alit with full moon, I stopped and took in the scene and tried to calm my hammering heart. Why was Drake acting out of character? He’s never acted this way.
Maybe he realized he loves me after all? Fat chance….but what if it was?
“Drake, stop”
“What?” He said over his shoulder but did stop and gazed at the beautiful moonlit sea.
I was quite unsure how to broach the subject but it was now or never. It’s just him and me out here for tonight. Surely he’s not going to push me away?
“Why are you acting like a jealous boyfriend? I thought you said you weren’t interested…” I bit my lip as I saw him stomp towards me. His chiseled body looked even more appealing with moonlight basking it aglow and his eyes smoldered liquid silver.
My body started to tremor looking at the beautiful handsome creature before me. His face was masked with something I couldn’t quite figure out. It was intense and forbidding. We stood there for a good minute, staring at each other. Wondering what the fuck is going on. “Drake….”
“You shouldn’t want a man like me Lil. I’m not good enough for you.” No….You’re even better….I’ve never met anyone like you. The rest of the men lacked brilliance when compared to you….
“Why would say that? You’re the only one I want.” I moved closer, feeling brazen when he didn’t move. I tiptoed and licked his lips. He tasted of salt and something masculine. My heart was beating erratically I felt exhilarated and faint at the same time to be so close with him. “I want you….I want you to be the one to take my virginity away.”
“I don’t think you get what I’m trying to tell you here…”
“I do, but would you rather I do it with someone else then, like Ricardo perhaps?” I knew I was playing with fire….but I was desperate. I want Drake to see me as a woman. A woman he can be with and desire—not the little girl with frilly dresses that would follow him around.
“Don’t even go there, Lil! OKAY—if this is what you want then meet me on the veranda in fifteen minutes. Go get ready because there will be no backing out once you come to me. Think it through, okay?”
Lily's Mistake
Scornfully Yours Draft Sample
Scornfully Yours
Prologue
It’s official! I dreadfully fell in love with Carter after a couple of months dating him.
It isn’t easy to come to terms with this realization knowing with full certainty that Carter Mason will not like this very fact. He’ll most likely just drop me like a hot potato the moment he knows.
In the very beginning, he was quite clear about emphasizing this. “I don’t do any of these hearts and butterflies shit, Em. I don’t do love and happy ever after shit either.” Yep, that’s how he said them but still, I went ahead and jumped in bed with him with what little armor I could muster.
Carter is our University star forward player in our Football (Soccer to the rest of America) team. He’s only a Junior and still has another year to graduate but scouts all over the world watch him play. They say he’s the next Becks. He’s that good! Carter’s tall, dark, and handsome with thick killer thighs and the nicest bottom you’ll ever get to see. Not to mention the fact that he’s a dynamite in the sheets and the sweetest (if he’s in the mood) boyfriend. Everyone adores Carter and when he wanted to date me, there was no chance in the universe to even consider saying no.
Lindsey, his sister and my roommate, was over the moon when we started dating. Although, I didn’t mention what his brother’s ‘terms’ were in the relationship. I’m a bit sure that she wouldn’t think it was ‘love at first sight’ and more of ‘lust at first glance’.
In the beginning, his rules were great. I mean I couldn’t agree more to it. Who would want to be tied down with a serious relationship when you’re in college anyway? I’ve seen way to many women who would drop classes or quit a semester because they were too hurt and heartbroken to come to school. I certainly didn’t want to become one of those, so Carter’s thing made sense.
It did until I fell in love with him and now I’m not too sure anymore.
CHAPTER 1
My phone vibrated and I fished it out of my purse.
Carter: Baby, want to meet me for lunch?
Crap, this is not good since I haven’t decided what to do with him yet.
Me: Sorry, can’t do. I have school stuff to do.
It was a half lie, technically. But what was I to do? I’m still coming to terms with what I feel for him and certainly seeing him without me freaking out was out of the question.
My Human Sexuality class ended with a yawn. My teacher, Mrs. Crowley, was a total bore and to think I was ecstatic to enroll to this class. What a laugh!
I was surprised to see Lindsey was outside waiting for me when I came out of the class. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Let’s do lunch then I’ll tell you all about it!” her pretty pink glossed lips pouted. I love Lindsey to pieces but this woman can be so emotional sometimes.
“Oh okay, I’m starving anyway. What do you feel like having?”
“Tacos and margarita!” she exclaimed.
We ended up at Los Agaves and ordered our usual. Lindsey was busy on her phone. She had waited on me outside class before, twice actually. And those were quite interesting. It’s her thing and I’m her 911 emergency person. Which is why I’m wondering what’s taking her awhile to speak up?
Lindsey Mason’s not your average chick. She’s straight forward no-nonsense kind of gal. She’s quite smart, 4.0 GPA and them some kind of smart. She’s brunette sexy and adores her brother more than anything. Carter and Lindsey’s parents died of a car crash seven years ago. Their Aunt and Uncle adopted them. I know she’s close to them but Carter doesn’t speak much about that matter. He rarely ever opens up. Well, in fact he never did.
My relationship with Carter was mostly based on well, sex and not much in between it.
She pushed her phone aside and clasped her hands on the table. “Brody wants to date me.” Brody Thompson is Carter’s best bud.
“….and?” I knew it! I even teased her about it before. I saw how Brody’s been checking her out but she always played it off like I was imagining things.
“And I’m thinking of saying no?” Linds bit full bottom lip, brushed a lock of hair and tucked it behind her ear.
“Why not Brody? He’s cute!”
Lindsey leaned back and huffed. “Why not Brody? Okay, let me break this down for you. First, he’s my brother’s best friend. Second, we grew up together and I was friends to some of his ex’s. Third, Brody’s just not my type.”
“He is so your type Linds! Admit it you don’t have to be all coy.” She was halted from responding because our waiter delivered out food. I took a lengthy refreshing sip of my strawberry margarita.
“Fine, I was lying. I think Brody’s hot but he and I aren’t happening. I know you’re wondering why but we just aren’t okay? I just wanted you to know that because I might be skipping a few parties with you guys.” That’s odd. So what if she’s turning him down, Brody’s not going to be a sore bear.
“That’s a little extreme, don’t you think?” I took a big bite of my chicken tacos and tummy did a little happy meringue dance. God, I am starving!
She merely just shrugged. “It is what it is, doll.” Lindsey wiped a little sauce on the side of her lips with the white linen napkin and focused on me.
“How are thing between you and Carter? Still going strong? We’re almost like sisters if you think about it.” I coughed at her sentiment, seriously?
“It’s not like that about Carter and me. In fact, that’s far from what we are. Truth be told, it’s like having an exclusive bootie call with a dash of party scene involved.”
She finished her margarita. “Fucking, Carter! I don’t get why he’s so afraid of commitment. I just want him to be happy. Are you happy, Em? I mean—with this cold technical arrangement?”
I was, but not anymore. I love Carter but shit will hit the fan if he knew. Carter’s known to bounce out of the relationship once those three words are spoken. Ask the long line of broken hearted females who made that very daunting mistake.
“I am…I mean I was but I’m not too sure anymore. Carter’s a great guy, Linds but I don’t think I’m that girl anymore.” Before, I was the type of girl who was a free spirit and had no care in the world as long as I had a good time. But things changed now and I have to act fast.
“I support you in whatever decision you will choose. But to be honest, if my brother can’t give you his all, why the heck would you want to stay, you know?” I nodded.
Yep, why should I stay?
Let’s see, because you’ll go mad with gaga without him? You’ve been living and breathing the scent of the very sexy Carter Mason for the last three months, how do you figure to survive without the ambrosial enticement?
Carter’s not my first love. I’ve been in love before. His name was Lewis Grand and he was my high school sweetheart. It was cute and sweet, a total opposite to what I have with Carter. Lewis left to study medicine at Harvard. He planned to take a year or two to go to Africa and help the needy. Lewis was a great guy but I didn’t see us working out since he would be so far away. That’s why dating Carter was the perfect solution and now that solution just became a perplexing quandary.
After lunch, Linds had to get back to school for her class. I was free for the rest of the day, so I decided to hit the beach and try to figure out my head. It was a warm glorious September afternoon and the beach looked heavenly. Santa Barbara was a nice little charming town. It has a rustic Spanish feel to it. I grew up in Ojai, a mere forty-minute drive from here. My parents didn’t argue much when I decided to study nearby. I think they were more relieved that I didn’t plan to tag along with Lewis in Boston.
My mom and dad adored Lewis, but they love their baby girl more and would rather have me close by more than anything else. I swiftly parked my car and opened my trunk to fetch a beach towel. Living around here, it’s mandatory to have a beach towel and extra clothes in the trunk. With my purse and towel tucked in my arm, I trotted to the shore and found a spot. Somewhere not too close to the buzz of people, but somewhere not too far either because my imagination tends to run along the lines of me getting stabbed to death or someone will try to kidnap me. Weird really, but I blame watching too much Bones and True Blood.
I sighed and lied on the towel. The sun greeted my face and I basked in its delightful warmth.
My ringing phone brought me out of my reverie. Carter.
“Hey”
“Hey. I just saw Linds and she said you two had lunch? Why wasn’t I invited? I would love to dine with my two favorite girls.” I rolled my eyes. I’m your favorite girl, for now.
“Yeah, she wanted to have some girl time. What’s up, Carter?” I wanted to sound bored and irritated but my voice ended up sounding breathy.
“Just wondering what you’re up to ‘coz I’m free for the rest of the afternoon. Feel like coming over and chill a bit?” His voice deepened when he said ‘coming over’. It’s basically his come-hither term for let’s fuck.
“Um, I don’t know about that Carter.” I whispered. I wanted to kick myself (if I could) for falling for a guy like Carter.
I mean—come on, Emma! Where the hell was your brain, huh? It was probably somewhat brain dead and was blown out of proportion from mind-numbing orgasms. It was supposed to be a clean way to have fun, enjoy college and at the same time I get to experience what it’s like to be with a bad boy for the first time. As much as I loved Lewis then, I’ve always wondered what it was like to be with someone wild and unrestricted. Someone with no limits and boundaries and hadn’t much care in world or cared what others thought. Carter fit the bill and I was sucked into his world the moment our eyes clashed.
“I haven’t seen you in two days, Em. TWO DAYS. This is the longest time I haven’t seen you.” Carter started to sound adamant and irritated. I guess two days with no sex can really make a man grumpy?
“I’ve been busy”
“Busy? You’ve been busy? Get real, Em. We both know you haven’t been busy. Why don’t you come over? Maybe it’s high time we talk.” And here it is, Doomsday.
“I’ll see you in an hour.”
“In an hour and not a second longer, got it? If you keep hiding away from me, I will scour the entire campus to look for you.” He was heated. Carter was in fact angry and his under lying threat was quite clear. My time’s up and it’s time to face the music and dance.
“Got it,” I responded and quickly ended the call.
After thirty minutes, I decided to get up and gathered my belongings and headed out to see Carter.
Carter bought a villa that over looked the beach and his friends, Brody and Caleb, rented out rooms. It was a beautiful four-bedroom villa and actually quite close to Main Street, where all the action happens. Bars and shopping stores are located on this strip.
I parked my car just outside his house. I killed the engine and took a steady breath.
“Showtime,” I muttered under my breath as I opened my door. The guys never lock the main door. I’ve asked several times as to why that was but they all shrugged me off. These boys were reckless and they always wondered why some of their things always go missing? Like cell phones, laptops, ipods and whatever paraphernalia there was known to man. These guys grew up in Montecito after all. Money wasn’t really a big thing to them.
Even though my parents are both doctors and we didn’t lack of money, they never failed to instill the value of money. They taught me how to be responsible and how to spend my money wisely.
I pushed the doorjamb and the white heavy door opened. The house was actually quiet, for the first time since I’ve known the trio. They usually have a crowd of people lounging and hanging around. Where was everyone?
“Good of you to finally show up!” Carter announced on top of the landing, only donning his cargo shorts on. His tanned, sculpted torso and abs were out on display. His dark hair still had droplets of water like he just came out of the shower. I salivated like a bitch in heat. Fuck, this is not going as planned!
“I’m five minutes early. What more do you want?” I asked, only in a mere whisper.
He slowly took his time coming down the stairs, using his usual lazy, care-free swag as he came to me. It sucked! The man didn’t even try to look hot. He just is. Like air equals breathing, water equals drinking. Carter Mason equals SEXY-ing. It’s ridiculous and quite absurd. I hated him even more to even hold that kind of power over me. Clearly, I am more than mystified.
His lazy saunter ended him before me. All in his almost bare naked glory. He stood a foot away as he studied me quietly. “What more do I want, Emma?” Parroting my question back, “I want you to be honest.”
He wants honesty? Right.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” His gaze penetrated, never leaving me.
“Why? What’s changed? You were more than fine the last time we were together. If I correctly recall, you were more than fine. You were insatiable and didn’t want me to leave your side. You even followed me in the shower, what was that you said? Oh right, because you missed me. So, from that type of adoration to ‘I don’t think I can do this anymore’, tell me, what changed?”
My brows furrowed. Fuck! Damn it, was I really that pathetic the last time we were together? It’s sickening.
What do I tell him? I’m panicked and I can’t conjure any reason at this moment other than the real truth—that I fell in love with him—anything other than that fact.
“It’s just not working out, Carter.” God, that’s the best I could do? I really suck at this.
He moved a little closer. “That’s not really telling me much, Em. Do you just expect me to let you go?” He snapped his fingers, “just like that?”
Well, yeah. “Sort of.”
I gasped as he moved closer. His masculine scented skin hit me ten-folds. Fuck, my body shook as my senses took over.
This is so bad, stop it. I scolded by lascivious body.
“That’s where you’re wrong. This body….” The back of his forefinger grazed the tell-tale outline of my erect nipples, “…responds to me. You may not notice the changes, but when you entered my home, these weren’t visible,” he pinched my nipple and I gasped at his crass boldness. “But the second I stood before you…. your body betrays…it acknowledges the kind of power I have over you.”
So my nipples, have what…a Carter detector? I groaned.
He moved on me, his hand immediate sought the opening of my short denim skirt. His rough hand caressed the inside of my thighs as I stared at him wide-eyed. “Carter….”
“Let’s stick to what we’re good at Emma and that’s indulging each other’s needs, hmmm?” His wet, hot tongue ran along from the back of my ear to the base of my neck. He squatted down and parted my legs. His finger pushed my thong aside and his tongue found my wet folds.
Panting, “Carter….someone might come back! We can’t do this out here for everyone to see!”
Carter’s tongue was heated and rushed as his finger found my hot entrance and toyed with it. Damn it, his gifted tongue is like a whirlpool full of ferocious intensity and will most definitely suck you in. He has the capability to suck me in to its dark depths, free-falling and no parachute to hang on to.
My fingers found his dark hair and grabbed on to it. He hooked my left leg on to his shoulder making things incoherent for me. At this point, I could care less if his friends walked in on us like this. I was past modesty and restraint. My body was tightening and my insides started to curl from the brewing force of my orgasm. I was only a mere second away from convulsing when he stopped.
Carter unbuttoned his cargo pants and stood in the foyer butt naked. His throbbing cock was gleaming against the sun rays that flittered through the windows. I swallowed at his sheer tanned masculine beauty. The energy was charged, aroused with pure and potent sexual ardor.
It’s always like this with him, with us. It was just sex and more sex, and nothing much in between. No talks about tomorrow. No hearts and butterflies as he promised.
He didn’t even bother with kissing or words. Since my legs were partially parted already, he jammed his cock inside me without haste. Damn, my body exulted at the very feel of him….filling me like no other man can. Carter’s passionate fucking borders on fervid senseless mating. He has a way of setting me ablaze, burned up with heat and need for him and him alone.
I hooked my leg up on his thigh as he pummeled me deeper. His hands gripped my hips as he hammered me into oblivion. I gripped his shoulder when he lifted me off the floor and roughly pushed me against the wall as if I weighed nothing. With each powerful hard thrust of his hips, my mind shattered.
“Carter!” I panted as my orgasm convulsed around my body, around his cock. My vagina walls tightened at the very length of his manhood, driving him even further with rapid need of completion, his release. His climax was a heavenly act in itself. The feel of his rigid body, the moment he screams my name when he unloads his seed inside me. With another final push of his cock, he lowered me back onto the marbled floor.
I tried to move but both of his hands were planted against my fuzzy head, his cock impaling me from moving. My blue eyes searched his darkened depths but couldn’t read them.
“There will be no talks of you leaving me, Em. The only way this ends is when I say it ends. You got that?”
I got that, loud and clear mister. It’s pretty clear that this relationship I had with him altered the moment I fell in love with the jackass.
“Lewis and I are thinking of getting back together.” I blurted out a technical lie. Truth, Lewis wanted to try it again but I never wanted to. But at this point, I’d do and say anything to get away from this insensitive man.
“I beg your pardon?” He uttered in his most deadly tone. I don’t care anymore if this will make him angry. I’m past caring.
“You heard me. Don’t make me say it again.”
“Was this your goodbye fuck then?” He nudged his hips forward, making me unconsciously moan. His cock was semi-hard after our first session but now I can feel it growing rapidly to its full length and girth.
“You’re the one who started it, but sure—if you want to call it that. You can un-sheath yourself off of me now.” I ordered but his wicked eyes twinkled.
“Oh no, my luminous beauty, I have yet to satiate myself before I can un-sheath myself.” He smiled as he picked me up and carried me to flight of stairs and onto his master bedroom.
After two hours of long arduous lovemaking session, he finally relented. We lied naked against the sheets as we both stared blankly at the ceiling. My legs were still slightly parted and they were vibrating and quivering after the longstanding feeling of being stretched and used to its capacity for the past couple of hours.
Carter sat up and planted his soles on the floor. His rippled back looked so enticing and I wanted to badly wrap my arms around his neck and tail kisses along his spine.
Not once did he kiss me today, it’s not really his thing but he obliges me a few kisses here and there. He suddenly stood up and aimed for the bathroom but he stopped amidst his stride. Without looking at me, he spoke. “You can gather your things and go now. I’ll see you around.”
I couldn’t even muster a good comeback because I was beyond hurt. I knew he was an insensitive prick, but at least I hoped to have a civilized parting. Stupid, stupid asshat!
I shot out of bed and immediately sought for my discarded clothing. I’d die if he comes out of the shower and I’m still waiting here, pondering things like a good little rabbit. Not a chance in hell!
I haughtily left his house and drove back to the dorms. University of California Santa Barbara’s is not only known for their good programs but is also notoriously known across the nation as a top party school. Oh yeah, I plan to hit the party circuit hardcore but not tonight. Tonight, I planned to lick my wounds, recharge, and shuffle the riotous order that is racking my brain.
News of my break-up with Carter will be spread like a bad wildfire on a hot summer in California. I have to mentally prepare myself of what that entailed, for me and for the onslaught of awaiting women who wanted a piece of our school’s hottest athlete.
Carter Mason was now single and quite ever so ready to mingle.
Prologue
It’s official! I dreadfully fell in love with Carter after a couple of months dating him.
It isn’t easy to come to terms with this realization knowing with full certainty that Carter Mason will not like this very fact. He’ll most likely just drop me like a hot potato the moment he knows.
In the very beginning, he was quite clear about emphasizing this. “I don’t do any of these hearts and butterflies shit, Em. I don’t do love and happy ever after shit either.” Yep, that’s how he said them but still, I went ahead and jumped in bed with him with what little armor I could muster.
Carter is our University star forward player in our Football (Soccer to the rest of America) team. He’s only a Junior and still has another year to graduate but scouts all over the world watch him play. They say he’s the next Becks. He’s that good! Carter’s tall, dark, and handsome with thick killer thighs and the nicest bottom you’ll ever get to see. Not to mention the fact that he’s a dynamite in the sheets and the sweetest (if he’s in the mood) boyfriend. Everyone adores Carter and when he wanted to date me, there was no chance in the universe to even consider saying no.
Lindsey, his sister and my roommate, was over the moon when we started dating. Although, I didn’t mention what his brother’s ‘terms’ were in the relationship. I’m a bit sure that she wouldn’t think it was ‘love at first sight’ and more of ‘lust at first glance’.
In the beginning, his rules were great. I mean I couldn’t agree more to it. Who would want to be tied down with a serious relationship when you’re in college anyway? I’ve seen way to many women who would drop classes or quit a semester because they were too hurt and heartbroken to come to school. I certainly didn’t want to become one of those, so Carter’s thing made sense.
It did until I fell in love with him and now I’m not too sure anymore.
CHAPTER 1
My phone vibrated and I fished it out of my purse.
Carter: Baby, want to meet me for lunch?
Crap, this is not good since I haven’t decided what to do with him yet.
Me: Sorry, can’t do. I have school stuff to do.
It was a half lie, technically. But what was I to do? I’m still coming to terms with what I feel for him and certainly seeing him without me freaking out was out of the question.
My Human Sexuality class ended with a yawn. My teacher, Mrs. Crowley, was a total bore and to think I was ecstatic to enroll to this class. What a laugh!
I was surprised to see Lindsey was outside waiting for me when I came out of the class. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Let’s do lunch then I’ll tell you all about it!” her pretty pink glossed lips pouted. I love Lindsey to pieces but this woman can be so emotional sometimes.
“Oh okay, I’m starving anyway. What do you feel like having?”
“Tacos and margarita!” she exclaimed.
We ended up at Los Agaves and ordered our usual. Lindsey was busy on her phone. She had waited on me outside class before, twice actually. And those were quite interesting. It’s her thing and I’m her 911 emergency person. Which is why I’m wondering what’s taking her awhile to speak up?
Lindsey Mason’s not your average chick. She’s straight forward no-nonsense kind of gal. She’s quite smart, 4.0 GPA and them some kind of smart. She’s brunette sexy and adores her brother more than anything. Carter and Lindsey’s parents died of a car crash seven years ago. Their Aunt and Uncle adopted them. I know she’s close to them but Carter doesn’t speak much about that matter. He rarely ever opens up. Well, in fact he never did.
My relationship with Carter was mostly based on well, sex and not much in between it.
She pushed her phone aside and clasped her hands on the table. “Brody wants to date me.” Brody Thompson is Carter’s best bud.
“….and?” I knew it! I even teased her about it before. I saw how Brody’s been checking her out but she always played it off like I was imagining things.
“And I’m thinking of saying no?” Linds bit full bottom lip, brushed a lock of hair and tucked it behind her ear.
“Why not Brody? He’s cute!”
Lindsey leaned back and huffed. “Why not Brody? Okay, let me break this down for you. First, he’s my brother’s best friend. Second, we grew up together and I was friends to some of his ex’s. Third, Brody’s just not my type.”
“He is so your type Linds! Admit it you don’t have to be all coy.” She was halted from responding because our waiter delivered out food. I took a lengthy refreshing sip of my strawberry margarita.
“Fine, I was lying. I think Brody’s hot but he and I aren’t happening. I know you’re wondering why but we just aren’t okay? I just wanted you to know that because I might be skipping a few parties with you guys.” That’s odd. So what if she’s turning him down, Brody’s not going to be a sore bear.
“That’s a little extreme, don’t you think?” I took a big bite of my chicken tacos and tummy did a little happy meringue dance. God, I am starving!
She merely just shrugged. “It is what it is, doll.” Lindsey wiped a little sauce on the side of her lips with the white linen napkin and focused on me.
“How are thing between you and Carter? Still going strong? We’re almost like sisters if you think about it.” I coughed at her sentiment, seriously?
“It’s not like that about Carter and me. In fact, that’s far from what we are. Truth be told, it’s like having an exclusive bootie call with a dash of party scene involved.”
She finished her margarita. “Fucking, Carter! I don’t get why he’s so afraid of commitment. I just want him to be happy. Are you happy, Em? I mean—with this cold technical arrangement?”
I was, but not anymore. I love Carter but shit will hit the fan if he knew. Carter’s known to bounce out of the relationship once those three words are spoken. Ask the long line of broken hearted females who made that very daunting mistake.
“I am…I mean I was but I’m not too sure anymore. Carter’s a great guy, Linds but I don’t think I’m that girl anymore.” Before, I was the type of girl who was a free spirit and had no care in the world as long as I had a good time. But things changed now and I have to act fast.
“I support you in whatever decision you will choose. But to be honest, if my brother can’t give you his all, why the heck would you want to stay, you know?” I nodded.
Yep, why should I stay?
Let’s see, because you’ll go mad with gaga without him? You’ve been living and breathing the scent of the very sexy Carter Mason for the last three months, how do you figure to survive without the ambrosial enticement?
Carter’s not my first love. I’ve been in love before. His name was Lewis Grand and he was my high school sweetheart. It was cute and sweet, a total opposite to what I have with Carter. Lewis left to study medicine at Harvard. He planned to take a year or two to go to Africa and help the needy. Lewis was a great guy but I didn’t see us working out since he would be so far away. That’s why dating Carter was the perfect solution and now that solution just became a perplexing quandary.
After lunch, Linds had to get back to school for her class. I was free for the rest of the day, so I decided to hit the beach and try to figure out my head. It was a warm glorious September afternoon and the beach looked heavenly. Santa Barbara was a nice little charming town. It has a rustic Spanish feel to it. I grew up in Ojai, a mere forty-minute drive from here. My parents didn’t argue much when I decided to study nearby. I think they were more relieved that I didn’t plan to tag along with Lewis in Boston.
My mom and dad adored Lewis, but they love their baby girl more and would rather have me close by more than anything else. I swiftly parked my car and opened my trunk to fetch a beach towel. Living around here, it’s mandatory to have a beach towel and extra clothes in the trunk. With my purse and towel tucked in my arm, I trotted to the shore and found a spot. Somewhere not too close to the buzz of people, but somewhere not too far either because my imagination tends to run along the lines of me getting stabbed to death or someone will try to kidnap me. Weird really, but I blame watching too much Bones and True Blood.
I sighed and lied on the towel. The sun greeted my face and I basked in its delightful warmth.
My ringing phone brought me out of my reverie. Carter.
“Hey”
“Hey. I just saw Linds and she said you two had lunch? Why wasn’t I invited? I would love to dine with my two favorite girls.” I rolled my eyes. I’m your favorite girl, for now.
“Yeah, she wanted to have some girl time. What’s up, Carter?” I wanted to sound bored and irritated but my voice ended up sounding breathy.
“Just wondering what you’re up to ‘coz I’m free for the rest of the afternoon. Feel like coming over and chill a bit?” His voice deepened when he said ‘coming over’. It’s basically his come-hither term for let’s fuck.
“Um, I don’t know about that Carter.” I whispered. I wanted to kick myself (if I could) for falling for a guy like Carter.
I mean—come on, Emma! Where the hell was your brain, huh? It was probably somewhat brain dead and was blown out of proportion from mind-numbing orgasms. It was supposed to be a clean way to have fun, enjoy college and at the same time I get to experience what it’s like to be with a bad boy for the first time. As much as I loved Lewis then, I’ve always wondered what it was like to be with someone wild and unrestricted. Someone with no limits and boundaries and hadn’t much care in world or cared what others thought. Carter fit the bill and I was sucked into his world the moment our eyes clashed.
“I haven’t seen you in two days, Em. TWO DAYS. This is the longest time I haven’t seen you.” Carter started to sound adamant and irritated. I guess two days with no sex can really make a man grumpy?
“I’ve been busy”
“Busy? You’ve been busy? Get real, Em. We both know you haven’t been busy. Why don’t you come over? Maybe it’s high time we talk.” And here it is, Doomsday.
“I’ll see you in an hour.”
“In an hour and not a second longer, got it? If you keep hiding away from me, I will scour the entire campus to look for you.” He was heated. Carter was in fact angry and his under lying threat was quite clear. My time’s up and it’s time to face the music and dance.
“Got it,” I responded and quickly ended the call.
After thirty minutes, I decided to get up and gathered my belongings and headed out to see Carter.
Carter bought a villa that over looked the beach and his friends, Brody and Caleb, rented out rooms. It was a beautiful four-bedroom villa and actually quite close to Main Street, where all the action happens. Bars and shopping stores are located on this strip.
I parked my car just outside his house. I killed the engine and took a steady breath.
“Showtime,” I muttered under my breath as I opened my door. The guys never lock the main door. I’ve asked several times as to why that was but they all shrugged me off. These boys were reckless and they always wondered why some of their things always go missing? Like cell phones, laptops, ipods and whatever paraphernalia there was known to man. These guys grew up in Montecito after all. Money wasn’t really a big thing to them.
Even though my parents are both doctors and we didn’t lack of money, they never failed to instill the value of money. They taught me how to be responsible and how to spend my money wisely.
I pushed the doorjamb and the white heavy door opened. The house was actually quiet, for the first time since I’ve known the trio. They usually have a crowd of people lounging and hanging around. Where was everyone?
“Good of you to finally show up!” Carter announced on top of the landing, only donning his cargo shorts on. His tanned, sculpted torso and abs were out on display. His dark hair still had droplets of water like he just came out of the shower. I salivated like a bitch in heat. Fuck, this is not going as planned!
“I’m five minutes early. What more do you want?” I asked, only in a mere whisper.
He slowly took his time coming down the stairs, using his usual lazy, care-free swag as he came to me. It sucked! The man didn’t even try to look hot. He just is. Like air equals breathing, water equals drinking. Carter Mason equals SEXY-ing. It’s ridiculous and quite absurd. I hated him even more to even hold that kind of power over me. Clearly, I am more than mystified.
His lazy saunter ended him before me. All in his almost bare naked glory. He stood a foot away as he studied me quietly. “What more do I want, Emma?” Parroting my question back, “I want you to be honest.”
He wants honesty? Right.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” His gaze penetrated, never leaving me.
“Why? What’s changed? You were more than fine the last time we were together. If I correctly recall, you were more than fine. You were insatiable and didn’t want me to leave your side. You even followed me in the shower, what was that you said? Oh right, because you missed me. So, from that type of adoration to ‘I don’t think I can do this anymore’, tell me, what changed?”
My brows furrowed. Fuck! Damn it, was I really that pathetic the last time we were together? It’s sickening.
What do I tell him? I’m panicked and I can’t conjure any reason at this moment other than the real truth—that I fell in love with him—anything other than that fact.
“It’s just not working out, Carter.” God, that’s the best I could do? I really suck at this.
He moved a little closer. “That’s not really telling me much, Em. Do you just expect me to let you go?” He snapped his fingers, “just like that?”
Well, yeah. “Sort of.”
I gasped as he moved closer. His masculine scented skin hit me ten-folds. Fuck, my body shook as my senses took over.
This is so bad, stop it. I scolded by lascivious body.
“That’s where you’re wrong. This body….” The back of his forefinger grazed the tell-tale outline of my erect nipples, “…responds to me. You may not notice the changes, but when you entered my home, these weren’t visible,” he pinched my nipple and I gasped at his crass boldness. “But the second I stood before you…. your body betrays…it acknowledges the kind of power I have over you.”
So my nipples, have what…a Carter detector? I groaned.
He moved on me, his hand immediate sought the opening of my short denim skirt. His rough hand caressed the inside of my thighs as I stared at him wide-eyed. “Carter….”
“Let’s stick to what we’re good at Emma and that’s indulging each other’s needs, hmmm?” His wet, hot tongue ran along from the back of my ear to the base of my neck. He squatted down and parted my legs. His finger pushed my thong aside and his tongue found my wet folds.
Panting, “Carter….someone might come back! We can’t do this out here for everyone to see!”
Carter’s tongue was heated and rushed as his finger found my hot entrance and toyed with it. Damn it, his gifted tongue is like a whirlpool full of ferocious intensity and will most definitely suck you in. He has the capability to suck me in to its dark depths, free-falling and no parachute to hang on to.
My fingers found his dark hair and grabbed on to it. He hooked my left leg on to his shoulder making things incoherent for me. At this point, I could care less if his friends walked in on us like this. I was past modesty and restraint. My body was tightening and my insides started to curl from the brewing force of my orgasm. I was only a mere second away from convulsing when he stopped.
Carter unbuttoned his cargo pants and stood in the foyer butt naked. His throbbing cock was gleaming against the sun rays that flittered through the windows. I swallowed at his sheer tanned masculine beauty. The energy was charged, aroused with pure and potent sexual ardor.
It’s always like this with him, with us. It was just sex and more sex, and nothing much in between. No talks about tomorrow. No hearts and butterflies as he promised.
He didn’t even bother with kissing or words. Since my legs were partially parted already, he jammed his cock inside me without haste. Damn, my body exulted at the very feel of him….filling me like no other man can. Carter’s passionate fucking borders on fervid senseless mating. He has a way of setting me ablaze, burned up with heat and need for him and him alone.
I hooked my leg up on his thigh as he pummeled me deeper. His hands gripped my hips as he hammered me into oblivion. I gripped his shoulder when he lifted me off the floor and roughly pushed me against the wall as if I weighed nothing. With each powerful hard thrust of his hips, my mind shattered.
“Carter!” I panted as my orgasm convulsed around my body, around his cock. My vagina walls tightened at the very length of his manhood, driving him even further with rapid need of completion, his release. His climax was a heavenly act in itself. The feel of his rigid body, the moment he screams my name when he unloads his seed inside me. With another final push of his cock, he lowered me back onto the marbled floor.
I tried to move but both of his hands were planted against my fuzzy head, his cock impaling me from moving. My blue eyes searched his darkened depths but couldn’t read them.
“There will be no talks of you leaving me, Em. The only way this ends is when I say it ends. You got that?”
I got that, loud and clear mister. It’s pretty clear that this relationship I had with him altered the moment I fell in love with the jackass.
“Lewis and I are thinking of getting back together.” I blurted out a technical lie. Truth, Lewis wanted to try it again but I never wanted to. But at this point, I’d do and say anything to get away from this insensitive man.
“I beg your pardon?” He uttered in his most deadly tone. I don’t care anymore if this will make him angry. I’m past caring.
“You heard me. Don’t make me say it again.”
“Was this your goodbye fuck then?” He nudged his hips forward, making me unconsciously moan. His cock was semi-hard after our first session but now I can feel it growing rapidly to its full length and girth.
“You’re the one who started it, but sure—if you want to call it that. You can un-sheath yourself off of me now.” I ordered but his wicked eyes twinkled.
“Oh no, my luminous beauty, I have yet to satiate myself before I can un-sheath myself.” He smiled as he picked me up and carried me to flight of stairs and onto his master bedroom.
After two hours of long arduous lovemaking session, he finally relented. We lied naked against the sheets as we both stared blankly at the ceiling. My legs were still slightly parted and they were vibrating and quivering after the longstanding feeling of being stretched and used to its capacity for the past couple of hours.
Carter sat up and planted his soles on the floor. His rippled back looked so enticing and I wanted to badly wrap my arms around his neck and tail kisses along his spine.
Not once did he kiss me today, it’s not really his thing but he obliges me a few kisses here and there. He suddenly stood up and aimed for the bathroom but he stopped amidst his stride. Without looking at me, he spoke. “You can gather your things and go now. I’ll see you around.”
I couldn’t even muster a good comeback because I was beyond hurt. I knew he was an insensitive prick, but at least I hoped to have a civilized parting. Stupid, stupid asshat!
I shot out of bed and immediately sought for my discarded clothing. I’d die if he comes out of the shower and I’m still waiting here, pondering things like a good little rabbit. Not a chance in hell!
I haughtily left his house and drove back to the dorms. University of California Santa Barbara’s is not only known for their good programs but is also notoriously known across the nation as a top party school. Oh yeah, I plan to hit the party circuit hardcore but not tonight. Tonight, I planned to lick my wounds, recharge, and shuffle the riotous order that is racking my brain.
News of my break-up with Carter will be spread like a bad wildfire on a hot summer in California. I have to mentally prepare myself of what that entailed, for me and for the onslaught of awaiting women who wanted a piece of our school’s hottest athlete.
Carter Mason was now single and quite ever so ready to mingle.
November 8, 2012
Chasing Imperfection Teaser (Chasing Series #2)
Blake
“Do you want anymore cognac?” the dark-eyed Spanish beauty asked. Do I want any more cognac? No. I’m already trashed as it is, but my mind keeps running away with thoughts of the woman who stole my heart, my soul a little over a month ago.
“Sure” I murmured.
Her cat-like smile sensually plastered on her face while she poured. I took a mouthful sip and loved the smooth burn of the expensive liquor. Her hand caressed the exposed spot on my chest where my shirt was unbuttoned. She’s obviously trying to get my attention, but I chose to ignore her. She took my indifference as a green light and started to hastily undo my shirt.
Hell, this woman is adamant.
She started to kiss my neck, chest and stomach. Her tongue lingered around the edge of my trousers. I just stared at her. Waiting to see how far she’d go to please me. Women are always this easy—they never say no—always willing to spread their legs wide open anytime, anyplace.
Well, with the exception of one. The one I wanted more than anything.
The one I fell in love with but walked away from me.
Fuck the blasted karma. My head’s been bombarded with thoughts of her—thoughts of her with that insipid man that she’s with. My heart squeezed as I tasted acid in my mouth. The hell with it!—if she doesn’t want me then there are tons of women who are more than willing to accommodate me….like this harlot trying to appease me and my moodiness.
I groaned as she undid my pants, slightly lifting my hips so she can easily pull it down. She stroked my semi-hard cock as she sought for my lips.
“No. There will be no kissing. I’ve exercised that fact enough. If you’re not happy with it—you know where the door is.” I hissed at her. Her dark eyes widened from shock but fully recovered from it after a few seconds.
I don’t give a fuck if she stays or not.
“Whatever you want mi amor,” purring as she lowered her head to capture the head of my shaft. I released a sigh and leaned back on the couch as she started to stroke it with her tongue.
Damn, why did I expect it to be like hers? Not only did she steal my heart, but she stole a bloody part of my sex life.
FUCK! Bloody Fuck!
How will I ever be satisfied with any other woman if she was the best I’ve ever had? She gave a mean head…and when she takes you—she gave it her all—and there was nowhere to go but to get sucked into that soul-gripping abyss.
This woman before me—fucking mediocre—most of them are when it gets down to dirty business.
Most women aren’t gifted, only some are. And let me tell you—there aren’t many of them out there. Some can be okay, some good, some great, but only a few will seriously blow your bloody fucking mind. Sienna was the bloody fucking package. And I loathe her even more as the day goes by.
Finally, the woman managed to get my dick up.
I pulled my wallet and handed Maria Reyes a foil packet of condom. Leaning back again on the couch, I closed my eyes thinking of Sienna. Hearing the foil packet tearing, she gently rolled it on my cock. I met her two days ago at a friend’s party and she latched on like the leech that she is—but I don’t mind that, not at all—at least she was honest with what she’s after.
She positioned herself and straddled me and gently pressed her wet greedy pussy on my cock.
A soft moan escaped my lips. I imagined it’s Sienna on me. I imagined the night I woke up from her fucking me or that night during Chad’s show in the office. Hell, fucking her in the office was blatantly hot. She became even more frenzied when I held her neck while I fucked her some more. She didn’t mind the choking—she just took it all. We wanted each other—in any imaginable way we can. I gripped Maria’s hips harder—feeling the intensity of my climax building and brewing inside. I pictured making love to her—her gasping face as I fill her—her screaming my name—her face as she orgasms. “Fuck Sienna!” screaming her name as I came.
“Bastardo!” Maria screeched as she climbed off me. Not the first time this happened. It happened the night I met her and every single time we fucked—which was a lot in the last two days.
I shrugged when I heard the front door slammed with a little quake.
Not my bloody fault if she kept coming back after the first time. I didn’t mean it, not really. It just happens. My mind constantly revolves around Sienna. The only time I get a hiatus is at work, but somehow she even manages to penetrate my workaholic mentality at the oddest times. Like I would be spacing out during a meeting because I’ve been thinking about her smile or how she teases me. Anything and everything—always about her—and I’m bloody going mindlessly crazy with this.
When will the miserable longing stop? I hate feeling this way. I got up and took care of cleaning myself. I’m sure Maria left already—but not for long.
Strolling to the kitchen, I found Toby sitting with his laptop on the black granite breakfast countertop. “Maria?” he inquired without looking up.
“Yup” I said merely shrugging and continued, “I know I’m paying you tons to do an excellent job—but it’s almost midnight—you need to stop and do that in the office.”
“Yeah, well I needed to straighten out a lot of the budget. This is such a bloody mess,” Toby mumbled and took a long sip of his beer.
“Well who would’ve thought the old arse was embezzling money. If he wasn’t grandfather’s good friend, I would’ve gladly punished him—but hey granddad pretty much said to let it go.”
He smirked. “Sure…five million pounds is easy to let go for you folks.”
Opening the fridge to get bottled water—drank some and turned around to face him. I grew up with Toby. We went to the same boarding school and went to the same university. We grew up privileged, but his father’s gambling took a toll on the Watson’s bank balance and it’s been dwindling ever since. His parents have been pressuring him to help out his younger brother, Liam, through high school and he’s been lending them a hand. He was making decent amount in his other job in one of the leading hedge fund companies in Europe in the finance department. But when I found out about what the old McKenzie was doing—I threw him out and hired Toby. I’m paying him double to ease some of the pressure. And he’s worth it, not only am I lending him a hand—he also happens to be a genius when it comes to money. Toby’s the closest thing I have for a brother and it pains me to see him stressed out about his father’s failings.
Toby cleared his throat and looked me in the eye. “Mate—for years I haven’t said a word with all your follies—but what in God’s name are you doing? I see you’re hurting—but you won’t talk about it. You’re drunk most nights and frolicking with different women. What the hell happened with Sienna? Lucy and Chad are clueless too—no one is talking and we’re all wholly baffled.”
Fuck, I knew this was going to come.
When Toby moved in a few days after Sienna left, he never said a word about it. He simply dodged the whole subject, but I knew he was giving me time to come to terms with my problem—my pride—but now time’s up.
Never once had I retained any reservations when it comes to talking to Toby—this bit with Sienna—where do I even begin? It was a bloody calamitous disaster. And my best friend is still staring me down, waiting.
Blimey, this is bloody difficult…just start with a cleaner version, less hassle…less questions.
“She found out about Camilla. I promised I would take care of it and I did. She obviously was gutted about it—I understood that—but I couldn’t lose her—so I proposed—she turned me down and left to LA with that cretin named Kyle. End of story.”
“Wait—you proposed? Like marriage?” his face disbelieving.
“Yes! Exactly that! End of discussion.” I roared at my friend’s face which he unfortunately didn’t notice.
How the heck does he know how this feels like? He’s so smitten with Lucy.
“Mate—I knew you were/still enamored with her—but you proposed marriage…you’re that in love with her… Wow, I get it now—all these clamoring different women….” He trailed off shaking his head, “—but mate—you can’t fuck your way out of this one.”
“We’ll see about that,” barely hearing my own murmur because I simply doubted it myself. I have a slim chance in hell getting over that woman who unequivocally bewitched me. But I have to try at least and try I will.
I can’t keep living like this—like my insides—like my soul is being sucked out of me—it’s frightening. Surely there are tons of broken people who move on quite easily, why couldn’t I be one of those people? I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t at least try—even if my method is ‘fucking my way out of it'.
“She’s back you know. Why don’t you go see her?” Eyeing me with those knowledgeable blue eyes.
“Fuck no! I’m not going to crawl back and beg again. Once was humiliating enough. I’m sure Matthews got her now.” The thought of her being with Matthews is killing me. She needs to get out of my head and make camp somewhere else. It’s like having insanity running havoc in your head.
“Yeah cause’ her being with Matthews is what you really want,” he finished his beer and slammed it down on the counter.
“Listen—she didn’t want me. There’s no why or how—she just doesn’t. Do you not think I berate myself enough for not telling her about Camilla? I do—but my apologies were shrugged off and dismissed without consideration. If she doesn’t want to be with me—then what is the point with begging again for her to come back? I’m convinced that I was just a little jaunt to get over her hurt from the cheating wanker.”
“You both did start dating quite quickly after Kyle. You probably have a point—Luce did mention you were the second man she’s dated after him. And I suppose you two being close friends helped your cause. So, if that theory is true…being used as a rebound by Sienna shouldn’t be so bad, I take it? It is Sienna we’re talking about…I know few mates who are captivated by her but I doubt they can hold against Kyle or you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you mate about her and Kyle. She used to talk about being married to him before you even came in the picture.”
“You did—and I didn’t pay heed. I couldn’t—I wanted her.”
“There were times I saw her look at you in a certain way—like conflicted somehow—but the way her eyes looked—I thought she was in love.”
“She doesn’t… she never did.” Painful but it’s the truth. Idiot me thinking I’ve found the one.
“What happened with the Clayworths then?”
“They were understanding and said they wanted me to be happy. Camilla was shattered of course. She already had her dress drawn out and ideas where the wedding was to be held. I like Camilla, she and I are compatible—and she loves me. But I fell in love with Sienna. I wanted it to be like the usual blasé I went for—but she was different—she rocked my world and came out of it leaving me in shambles.”
“Anyone with eyes can see how Camilla is so smitten with you mate. You always treated her differently than your usual conquests. You took her on holidays and such—then I again you needed that to get to know your wife-to-be. I think Camilla is a great woman—but I’m biased because I love Sienna and you’re my friend—so I want you two to be together. But since you’ve categorized that subject as rubbish and you’re done fighting for Sienna and handing her over to Kyle —why don’t you want to date Camilla? You do like her and you two seem quite compatible actually. All these different women Blake—surely it’s taxing? Think about it.
“I’m really starting to hate Sienna. My whole life is out of order.”
“Doubt that but sure, whatever you say. I’m off to bed. See you in the morning.” He took his laptop with him and left the kitchen.
Damn him. He knew how much I hated Kyle Matthews and he kept rubbing it in. Every night I’ve been tortured with thoughts of them together. It’s no wonder I drunk myself to sleep most nights.
Leaving the kitchen towards the stairs and headed to my own room. I needed a shower and clean myself off of any traces of Maria on my body.
Can I really consider dating Camilla? I have to be sure because Camilla’s a great girl and I don’t want to hurt her again.
Turning the dials on my steam shower, I dwelled on my thoughts. Sienna, you really crippled me. I abhorrently thought.
I have to rein my feelings before this whole disaster falls apart and imminently affect my work. I can’t let down grandfather. This company is my legacy. My children will inherit this someday and their children’s children. Hell, the thought of kids turns my stomach into acid. A little girl that looked like Sienna floated around my head.
God, how I want that woman—it’s maddening. Maybe if I could taste her one more time—get her out of my system—it would help. She did believe in closures, didn’t she? She went to see Kyle for ‘closure’ and moved on with me. I suppose I could test that theory.
Fuck! Fuck! I’m getting hard thinking about her body. I’ve had sex three times today, but put Sienna in my thoughts and I instantly get a hard-on.
I’ll figure something out. I always do.
I want to possess her—for the last time.
Then I can move on and not look back.
Chasing Beautiful
“Do you want anymore cognac?” the dark-eyed Spanish beauty asked. Do I want any more cognac? No. I’m already trashed as it is, but my mind keeps running away with thoughts of the woman who stole my heart, my soul a little over a month ago.
“Sure” I murmured.
Her cat-like smile sensually plastered on her face while she poured. I took a mouthful sip and loved the smooth burn of the expensive liquor. Her hand caressed the exposed spot on my chest where my shirt was unbuttoned. She’s obviously trying to get my attention, but I chose to ignore her. She took my indifference as a green light and started to hastily undo my shirt.
Hell, this woman is adamant.
She started to kiss my neck, chest and stomach. Her tongue lingered around the edge of my trousers. I just stared at her. Waiting to see how far she’d go to please me. Women are always this easy—they never say no—always willing to spread their legs wide open anytime, anyplace.
Well, with the exception of one. The one I wanted more than anything.
The one I fell in love with but walked away from me.
Fuck the blasted karma. My head’s been bombarded with thoughts of her—thoughts of her with that insipid man that she’s with. My heart squeezed as I tasted acid in my mouth. The hell with it!—if she doesn’t want me then there are tons of women who are more than willing to accommodate me….like this harlot trying to appease me and my moodiness.
I groaned as she undid my pants, slightly lifting my hips so she can easily pull it down. She stroked my semi-hard cock as she sought for my lips.
“No. There will be no kissing. I’ve exercised that fact enough. If you’re not happy with it—you know where the door is.” I hissed at her. Her dark eyes widened from shock but fully recovered from it after a few seconds.
I don’t give a fuck if she stays or not.
“Whatever you want mi amor,” purring as she lowered her head to capture the head of my shaft. I released a sigh and leaned back on the couch as she started to stroke it with her tongue.
Damn, why did I expect it to be like hers? Not only did she steal my heart, but she stole a bloody part of my sex life.
FUCK! Bloody Fuck!
How will I ever be satisfied with any other woman if she was the best I’ve ever had? She gave a mean head…and when she takes you—she gave it her all—and there was nowhere to go but to get sucked into that soul-gripping abyss.
This woman before me—fucking mediocre—most of them are when it gets down to dirty business.
Most women aren’t gifted, only some are. And let me tell you—there aren’t many of them out there. Some can be okay, some good, some great, but only a few will seriously blow your bloody fucking mind. Sienna was the bloody fucking package. And I loathe her even more as the day goes by.
Finally, the woman managed to get my dick up.
I pulled my wallet and handed Maria Reyes a foil packet of condom. Leaning back again on the couch, I closed my eyes thinking of Sienna. Hearing the foil packet tearing, she gently rolled it on my cock. I met her two days ago at a friend’s party and she latched on like the leech that she is—but I don’t mind that, not at all—at least she was honest with what she’s after.
She positioned herself and straddled me and gently pressed her wet greedy pussy on my cock.
A soft moan escaped my lips. I imagined it’s Sienna on me. I imagined the night I woke up from her fucking me or that night during Chad’s show in the office. Hell, fucking her in the office was blatantly hot. She became even more frenzied when I held her neck while I fucked her some more. She didn’t mind the choking—she just took it all. We wanted each other—in any imaginable way we can. I gripped Maria’s hips harder—feeling the intensity of my climax building and brewing inside. I pictured making love to her—her gasping face as I fill her—her screaming my name—her face as she orgasms. “Fuck Sienna!” screaming her name as I came.
“Bastardo!” Maria screeched as she climbed off me. Not the first time this happened. It happened the night I met her and every single time we fucked—which was a lot in the last two days.
I shrugged when I heard the front door slammed with a little quake.
Not my bloody fault if she kept coming back after the first time. I didn’t mean it, not really. It just happens. My mind constantly revolves around Sienna. The only time I get a hiatus is at work, but somehow she even manages to penetrate my workaholic mentality at the oddest times. Like I would be spacing out during a meeting because I’ve been thinking about her smile or how she teases me. Anything and everything—always about her—and I’m bloody going mindlessly crazy with this.
When will the miserable longing stop? I hate feeling this way. I got up and took care of cleaning myself. I’m sure Maria left already—but not for long.
Strolling to the kitchen, I found Toby sitting with his laptop on the black granite breakfast countertop. “Maria?” he inquired without looking up.
“Yup” I said merely shrugging and continued, “I know I’m paying you tons to do an excellent job—but it’s almost midnight—you need to stop and do that in the office.”
“Yeah, well I needed to straighten out a lot of the budget. This is such a bloody mess,” Toby mumbled and took a long sip of his beer.
“Well who would’ve thought the old arse was embezzling money. If he wasn’t grandfather’s good friend, I would’ve gladly punished him—but hey granddad pretty much said to let it go.”
He smirked. “Sure…five million pounds is easy to let go for you folks.”
Opening the fridge to get bottled water—drank some and turned around to face him. I grew up with Toby. We went to the same boarding school and went to the same university. We grew up privileged, but his father’s gambling took a toll on the Watson’s bank balance and it’s been dwindling ever since. His parents have been pressuring him to help out his younger brother, Liam, through high school and he’s been lending them a hand. He was making decent amount in his other job in one of the leading hedge fund companies in Europe in the finance department. But when I found out about what the old McKenzie was doing—I threw him out and hired Toby. I’m paying him double to ease some of the pressure. And he’s worth it, not only am I lending him a hand—he also happens to be a genius when it comes to money. Toby’s the closest thing I have for a brother and it pains me to see him stressed out about his father’s failings.
Toby cleared his throat and looked me in the eye. “Mate—for years I haven’t said a word with all your follies—but what in God’s name are you doing? I see you’re hurting—but you won’t talk about it. You’re drunk most nights and frolicking with different women. What the hell happened with Sienna? Lucy and Chad are clueless too—no one is talking and we’re all wholly baffled.”
Fuck, I knew this was going to come.
When Toby moved in a few days after Sienna left, he never said a word about it. He simply dodged the whole subject, but I knew he was giving me time to come to terms with my problem—my pride—but now time’s up.
Never once had I retained any reservations when it comes to talking to Toby—this bit with Sienna—where do I even begin? It was a bloody calamitous disaster. And my best friend is still staring me down, waiting.
Blimey, this is bloody difficult…just start with a cleaner version, less hassle…less questions.
“She found out about Camilla. I promised I would take care of it and I did. She obviously was gutted about it—I understood that—but I couldn’t lose her—so I proposed—she turned me down and left to LA with that cretin named Kyle. End of story.”
“Wait—you proposed? Like marriage?” his face disbelieving.
“Yes! Exactly that! End of discussion.” I roared at my friend’s face which he unfortunately didn’t notice.
How the heck does he know how this feels like? He’s so smitten with Lucy.
“Mate—I knew you were/still enamored with her—but you proposed marriage…you’re that in love with her… Wow, I get it now—all these clamoring different women….” He trailed off shaking his head, “—but mate—you can’t fuck your way out of this one.”
“We’ll see about that,” barely hearing my own murmur because I simply doubted it myself. I have a slim chance in hell getting over that woman who unequivocally bewitched me. But I have to try at least and try I will.
I can’t keep living like this—like my insides—like my soul is being sucked out of me—it’s frightening. Surely there are tons of broken people who move on quite easily, why couldn’t I be one of those people? I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t at least try—even if my method is ‘fucking my way out of it'.
“She’s back you know. Why don’t you go see her?” Eyeing me with those knowledgeable blue eyes.
“Fuck no! I’m not going to crawl back and beg again. Once was humiliating enough. I’m sure Matthews got her now.” The thought of her being with Matthews is killing me. She needs to get out of my head and make camp somewhere else. It’s like having insanity running havoc in your head.
“Yeah cause’ her being with Matthews is what you really want,” he finished his beer and slammed it down on the counter.
“Listen—she didn’t want me. There’s no why or how—she just doesn’t. Do you not think I berate myself enough for not telling her about Camilla? I do—but my apologies were shrugged off and dismissed without consideration. If she doesn’t want to be with me—then what is the point with begging again for her to come back? I’m convinced that I was just a little jaunt to get over her hurt from the cheating wanker.”
“You both did start dating quite quickly after Kyle. You probably have a point—Luce did mention you were the second man she’s dated after him. And I suppose you two being close friends helped your cause. So, if that theory is true…being used as a rebound by Sienna shouldn’t be so bad, I take it? It is Sienna we’re talking about…I know few mates who are captivated by her but I doubt they can hold against Kyle or you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you mate about her and Kyle. She used to talk about being married to him before you even came in the picture.”
“You did—and I didn’t pay heed. I couldn’t—I wanted her.”
“There were times I saw her look at you in a certain way—like conflicted somehow—but the way her eyes looked—I thought she was in love.”
“She doesn’t… she never did.” Painful but it’s the truth. Idiot me thinking I’ve found the one.
“What happened with the Clayworths then?”
“They were understanding and said they wanted me to be happy. Camilla was shattered of course. She already had her dress drawn out and ideas where the wedding was to be held. I like Camilla, she and I are compatible—and she loves me. But I fell in love with Sienna. I wanted it to be like the usual blasé I went for—but she was different—she rocked my world and came out of it leaving me in shambles.”
“Anyone with eyes can see how Camilla is so smitten with you mate. You always treated her differently than your usual conquests. You took her on holidays and such—then I again you needed that to get to know your wife-to-be. I think Camilla is a great woman—but I’m biased because I love Sienna and you’re my friend—so I want you two to be together. But since you’ve categorized that subject as rubbish and you’re done fighting for Sienna and handing her over to Kyle —why don’t you want to date Camilla? You do like her and you two seem quite compatible actually. All these different women Blake—surely it’s taxing? Think about it.
“I’m really starting to hate Sienna. My whole life is out of order.”
“Doubt that but sure, whatever you say. I’m off to bed. See you in the morning.” He took his laptop with him and left the kitchen.
Damn him. He knew how much I hated Kyle Matthews and he kept rubbing it in. Every night I’ve been tortured with thoughts of them together. It’s no wonder I drunk myself to sleep most nights.
Leaving the kitchen towards the stairs and headed to my own room. I needed a shower and clean myself off of any traces of Maria on my body.
Can I really consider dating Camilla? I have to be sure because Camilla’s a great girl and I don’t want to hurt her again.
Turning the dials on my steam shower, I dwelled on my thoughts. Sienna, you really crippled me. I abhorrently thought.
I have to rein my feelings before this whole disaster falls apart and imminently affect my work. I can’t let down grandfather. This company is my legacy. My children will inherit this someday and their children’s children. Hell, the thought of kids turns my stomach into acid. A little girl that looked like Sienna floated around my head.
God, how I want that woman—it’s maddening. Maybe if I could taste her one more time—get her out of my system—it would help. She did believe in closures, didn’t she? She went to see Kyle for ‘closure’ and moved on with me. I suppose I could test that theory.
Fuck! Fuck! I’m getting hard thinking about her body. I’ve had sex three times today, but put Sienna in my thoughts and I instantly get a hard-on.
I’ll figure something out. I always do.
I want to possess her—for the last time.
Then I can move on and not look back.
Chasing Beautiful
