Jerusalem Jackson Greer's Blog, page 20

Summer Reading

Here it is. This summers reading stack.As is typical it is a random mix of many genres with no real common thread.Just a mix of things just for fun and things for my vocation and things I have been longing to read.Almost all of the fiction are books passed on to me by reader friends, otherwise I would be broke right now. The only thing I am missing is a really great biography.I read a lot of memoir, but it has been ages since I read a biography. Any suggestions?
Also, I have coupon for one free Kindle book, but that kind of pressure to chose is almost overwhelming.So to tell me - what one book MUST I read this summer?
xoxoJ

3 is the Magic Number -for Trinity Sunday

Somewhere in the ancient, mystic trinity You get three as a magic number.-Three is a Magic Number, School House Rock

In the Church Year calendar, this Sunday is Trinity Sunday.I cannot explain the Trinity to my satisfaction. I think I understand it, best as a finite human mind can, but my attempts to explain it are lacking . Perhaps that is the point. The Trinity is something too wonderful and mysterious for simple human words. The best illustration I ever heard as a child was the egg analogy. The Trinity is like an egg, the lady at the front of the church said; The egg has three parts, the shell, the white, the yoke.  Each is an egg. Together and apart. See? And she held up the egg, all parts other than the shell, still hidden, invisible to us sitting in the pews. 
For my child mind it sufficed.
An is an egg, no matter how you slice it.

A few years ago I was stitching the above appliques as representations of the Trinity, and while discussing them with Miles, who is always eager to join in the stitching projects, I asked him if he understood who the Trinity was? 
This was his explanation:
God is the father and in charge. 
Jesus is the son and Number One Christian 
and the Holy Spirit is your conscience.
Sounds good to me.
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Recently, ruminating on this mystery, the lyrics of a Christa Wells song kept running through my heart..

In fullness of wisdom, He writes my story into his song, My life for the glory of God.

Fullness. 
In Corinthians Paul writes these words at the close of Chapter 13.
 The amazing grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, the extravagant love of God, the intimate friendship of the Holy Spirit, be with all of you. (The Message, 2 Cor 13:14)

Amazing Grace. Extravagant Love. Intimate Friendship.
That is fullness. 
That is the Trinity.
And when this fullness is at work in me, in all their wonder and mystery, then my song is written into the fullness. 
This is my life for the Glory of God.It is the stitching of the grace, the love, the friendship, into the fabric of my life - into my words, my actions, my thoughts - that brings about a new thing.
A new creation, unique and full to bursting.

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Trinity AppliqueFabric, needle, thread, are the trinity of sewing. To sew anything, you must thread the needle, pull the thread through the fabric, attaching fabric to fabric, creating something that unique. Creating something that is beautiful, that is useful, that tells a story. This applique project is a good hands-on way to talk about the Trinity with your kids, and about the fullness of their intricate, complicated and beautiful their relationship in our lives.
This is a *very loose* explanation of how I created the above hoops (I find explaining how to embroider about as easy as explaining the Trinity.)Materials needed:3 Embroidery Hoops 3 Coordinating Fabrics for the Base (one for each hoop) Small scraps of fabrics in a variety of colors and patterns.PencilEmbroidery ThreadEmbroidery NeedleScissors
Directions-ishCut your fabric squares out and set aside.Next draw the crown, lamb and dove shapes onto your fabric scraps and then cut (if freehand drawing isn't your thing, there are lots of clip art images you can print and trace as a guide.)I used 3 different fabrics for the the lamb, two fabrics for the crown and three fabrics for the dove.Put base fabrics in hoops, pulling until they are taut.Next, pin your lamb body to the fabric (I simply placed one straight pin in the middle of the lamb body to hold it in place.)  Using the coordinating embroidery threads outline the body of the lamb with a vertical running stitch.Next, place the tail and head onto your lambs body and repeat the stitching steps. Add a small triangle as the ear, attaching it at the top only so that it is able to flap.Using a pencil draw a small dot for the eye, a small oval for the nose and two straight, thin rectangles for the legs. Then using a satin stitch, fill in each of the pencil shapes with black thread.Repeat these same steps to create the crown and the dove. Remember to layer the fabrics one at a time,For the dove, stitch the first wing, followed by the body and then the send wing. For the branch, simply copy the one on the pattern or draw one free hand, Trace your deign with a running stitch in a green floss.The crown can be stitched all together, all at once. Using contrasting floss you can create jewels in each crown tip, and create dimension by separating and outlining the two fabrics in a variety of threads.I chose to create each piece to look homespun and patch-worked,  therefore the stitches are imperfect and varied in size.For a dainty look, use only one strand of embroidery floss, for a thicker, bolder look, use two.To finish, trim the edges of the squares away.
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My Two Sons - On Raising Greers

(photo by Judea Jackson.)
These are my boys when they were littles.They are not little anymore.
Yesterday Vanessa left me this comment on my Heirloom post

...I too, have two boys. I love them so, but as a very girly girl I struggle with how to parent them well and pass on values that matter (they are still very young).... , you seem to have been successful with your boys passing on the faith and traditions that matter! I got your book and love it. What is your advice specifically for raising boys?!

First of all, THANK YOU Vanessa for the sweet words. Parenting is never a sure bet and half the time I am convinced that I am doing it ALL wrong. But I forge ahead with prayer and patience and tenacity and do what I feel is best.

It is no big secret that I thought I would have girls. I came for a very female-dominated family and as a girly-girl, I just sort of assumed that I would have girls and boys, but especially girls. (My dream scenario was two of each and I am still not convinced we won't adopt sibling girls one day...)But I had boys (and I fell head-over-heels in love, of course) and after the initial shock wore off,  I decided to figure out how to be the best mom I could be for my boys, how to relate to them in ways that would fit their personalities and gender.
Now, I am not a big "boys will be boys" and "girls are just that way" sort of person. I believe in individuality and equality and cooperation.I am a Jesus Feminist after all.
But the reality is that if you want to read a book about how to parent a child who likes worms and baseball and wrestling, well then generally you have to buy a "Boy" parenting book, and if you want to read a book about a child who likes to dance, and paint, and sit quietly and have tea parties, then you have to buy a "Girl" parenting book. It is just how things are these days

 (BOYS!)

(Spirited) 


So when Wylie was around the age of 2, and really begin to develop his own interest and personality,  which for him did not include sitting still coloring or throwing tea-parties for his stuffed animals (which I would have been perfectly content with by the way - less noise for me!)  I looked for a book that would help me relate to his active, intense, spirited, dirt loving, cowboy playing, ball throwing self. 
BOYS! was the best book I could find at the time and I personally found the first few chapters hugely helpful. It taught me how to wrestle and tickle as a way to show my active boy affection. It taught me how to handle his intense outburst and how to get in the dirt with the worms and the rocks and enjoy myself. It taught me how to see piles of sticks as gifts and energy spikes as normal and not defiance. To see his imaginary play and need to wear costumes everywhere as his way of trying on parts of himself and testing them in the world.
For Miles, the Spirited Child came in a little more handy. This is the kid who has always wanted to CREATE more than anything. He is almost 10 and he no longer wants toys as gifts. He wants a blacksmith forge. As a toddler he colored and painted EVERY surface. He went through a cutting phase where he cut up anything he could - my shoes, pillows, books... And the things he flushed down the toilet... I think he cost us two toilets before age 5. Now he hammers everything.Or tries to wire it up to go faster.

But those early years are behind us and  I no longer have preschoolers or elementary students in my house.Now I am learning how to parent young men and I am leaning on the wisdom of those who have gone before me, soaking up all I can from moms a little further down the road.Also, I am expanding on what I have learned thus far, what took root in my own rearing by my marvelous momma, and making it work for us.Here is a little list of parenting guidelines... Some are tried and true, and some are new to us and we are still working through the kinks... None are done perfectly all the time!
They are, in not particular order:

Family Meal Time: You eat what we eat. If you don't like what we prepare for dinner, then you don't have to eat it, but you cannot throw a fit, complain or make yourself a separate meal.
Church:  (this one I got from my new pastor, Teri Daily)Everyone has to serve the body in at least one area. I don't care if it is serving as an usher, singing in the choir, or volunteering in the nursery or helping in the food pantry, everyone gives back. Sometimes we serve as a family and sometimes we serve as individuals. We are not church-consumers.
*We also work to serve in our geographic community as well - working with the homeless in our city, helping with warming shelters and refuge homes for women and children, but these are seperate from our work in our local church family. I believe that both are important.
Faith:Everyone comes to their own understanding of faith in their own way. However, as the parents we have decided to follow the Christian faith. Therefore the boys are expected to participate in faith traditions and celebrations as long as they live with us. They are free to question, to explore, to have doubts, and  to speak those doubts, and we promise to not shame or bully them into our way of thinking. But they are expected to participate in our expression of faith while they live with us. (So far this has worked out without much conflict, but they are young still.)
Feelings:Everyone is entitled to their own feelings but that does not mean you get to be rude. You are entailed to be sad, or mad, or frustrated, or excited, but you do not get to run over everyone in your wake. If you are excited and your brother is sad, have compassion, don't throw it in his face. If you are mad at your mother you must still obey her with a good attitude.

Chores:One boy unloads the dishwasher and the other loads. This started when they were about 7 years old each.On all other chores they are expected to help when asked -folding laundry, mowing the yard, cleaning the toilet. All chores are done for the benefit of the family, not just for the benefit of the individual.This is why they won't be expected to wash just their clothes on laundry days. They have to help wash everyones clothes.

School:They are expected to their best and ask for help.Teaching them to ask for help has been the biggest hurdle. As smart kids they assume they should know how to do everything and are reluctant to look "foolish" in front of teachers or classmates and so do not always get the help they need. Teaching them to be their own advocates has been a huge goal of ours.They also know that the sorts of colleges they want to go to will require great grades plus. We have worked to find a balance of letting them know the implications their grades will have on their future without just losing our minds and applying so much pressure that it freaks them out.We don't really care where they go, but they seem to care, so we are trying to help them prepare.

As change that I begin to notice at the beginning of last school year, when Wylie turned 13, was how much more emotional and mental energy parenting was beginning to require.When the boys where littles I was physically worn out in a way that affected my mental and emotional state from all of their demands - feeding, bathing, changing, keeping them out of the street, preventing them from eating magnets... The usual.
Now we are entering the roller-coaster years of teenage hormones and emotions and radical physical changes on their part.We have 4 years left with Wylie at home and 8 with Miles.This is our last shot to pour all we can into helping them become well-rounded, kind, self-sufficient young men on a daily basis.And that takes a lot of mental energy.Mommas gotta get her game face on.
So I am scaling back on a lot of things.Pulling out of various communities, scaling back the variety of writing gigs I take, changing jobs, staying home more, being in the kitchen more (because they will always come to the kitchen,) making myself available when they are ready to talk and cry and bemoan life as an adolescent , as much as I can. 
Because when they were babies 4 and 8 years was a long way off.And now that it is all I have left I can't believe how fast it will fly.
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Do you have some great parenting guidelines that you have found to be tried and true?What resources have you used to connect to your kids?

Heirlooms

When I was a baby, my mother bought me a set of dishes from the supermarket.These are those dishes.
Growing up I knew of their existence, and from time to time, I would get a glimpse of them.
She did this for all my siblings as well, but I have to say that mine are the best.They are the most classic.And they suit me.


Also, they were made in England, so that is a bonus.
Up until the last time we put the house on the market we were using quite a bit of this set.But then I packed it away in a cabinet in an attempt to de-clutter.And then recently I had to empty that very cabinet so we could demolish it.So into boxes these beauties went until we move, and I can unpack them and put them back into service.



I think this idea, purchasing me dishes to give to me when I set up my first house, was such a sweet one. My mother has always been creative and loving, but not always terribly sentimental, so these dishes are extra special to me in that way.Since I have no daughters I am planning on passing these on to a niece or a granddaughter if the opportunity arises.
I have to confess that I have not bought my boys dishes for their first apartments. Somehow I don't think will give one hoot about these.
But I have begun to wonder...What can I buy now, to give to them later, that will help them start their independent lives off that is both lovely and useful?
What sort of heirloom could I start for them to use and pass on?
Do you have heirlooms to pass on? If so, what kind?

We did it!

(all images from our listing on Realtor.com. I don't have such a great wideangle lense.)
Well folks, we did it!
Our house is officially "on the market!"
We decluttered and remodeled and worked our hinneys off and the house looks AMAZING (if I do say so myself.)
So now we will wait.
Wait for the perfect owners to come along who want to love this little corner of earth as much as we have.
Golly, I hate waiting.
Will I ever learn to do it with grace?
I feel less anxious about it all than I did last time, so maybe I am learning - slowly, slowly - how to embrace the waiting.
Maybe.
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This week I am on a "writing retreat" at my grandparents lake house in the woods.We will see how much writing I get done on Book 2.Mostly I am just trying to rest and recover and get myself reoriented to my new reality..A new chapter has begun in our life - me no longer working at the boys school, and as of July 1 I will be going into full-time ministry... It is a new and exciting season for sure, but one that will require some readjusting and changes.
I plan on returning to regular blogging over the next week, and for sure by next week!This sabatical has been wonderful and allowed me to get my bearings while we finished up the house and I finished up my job, but I want to get back to hanging out here regular-like (as my Maw would say.)I miss you people and I have things to share!
See you soon-J

In a Row

(picture taken during Garden2Blog at Moss Mountain)
Friends, I am still here.Don't give up on me.I am working hard to get all my ducks in a row, but man they can be a bit hard to tame.
Here is a little bit of what is going on:
Only a few more days left of school/work before the month break between my current job and my new job. The bathroom remodel is done.The kitchen is so very close.The house (fingers crossed, prayers said) goes on the market this weekend.I promise to show you it all once everything is all finished and ready to go, but things are completely topsy-turvy at the moment.(If you want to follow along in real-time make sure to follow me on Instagram.)
In addition to all of this I am speaking at Praxis Conference on June 7 in Tulsa and then I am off for a 5 day writing retreat and I am so ready for it (the retreat, not the conference... That is still a WIP.)
Also on my to-do list is finishing The Nest. We are getting closer and closer to being ready to provide our homeless women and children neighbors with a safe, happy place to land. The back of my car is currently loaded down with donations and the beds and mattresses are all ready at last! It has been so wonderful to see everyone coming together to get this refuge nest "fluffed," and I will be so glad to see it up and running!
So that is a little bit of what is happening.Oh, and we have all - at various junctions - been sick. Currently it is my turn and I am afraid Sweet Man is following close on my heels.
Prayers that we heal up fast, and can see this kitchen through till the end and get this house listed this weekend! 
We are all ready for some sort of normal to resume (whatever normal is...)
Much love friends,J

Technicolor Weekend and a Break

This weekend was full and colorful and wonderful and BUSY.I think remodeling is taking all of my creative juices so I am leaning heavy on the images here.The bathroom is done (hurrah!)And so now we are moving on to the kitchen.At least you can wash dishes in the bathroom sink, not so much the other in the kitchen sink....ahem.
So while things are progressing nicely around here, they are also wearing me out.So I am going to take a bit of a blog sabbatical.My body is telling me that something has to give and I think the blog is one of the things I need to let rest for a bit.I have a book to write.A house to remodel/sell.A job to finish.A job to start.I wish I was super woman but I am not.I am just me, limited, and finite, and always learning how to live in the moment.As Shauna would say, More Love, Less Hustle.
So, until this house thing has simmered down, until I have wrapped up one job and am ready for a new one to start, until I have rested up a little, things will be pretty quiet around here.
I will still be active on all other Social Media forms - especially Instagram, so we shouldn't fall out of touch completely, but for now I am going to save the writing juices for the book, and my energy for preparing my family - and myself- for our next adventure.
Much love friends - see you in a bit!J

For the Girls - Why a hashtag matters

Already there is debate about the usefulness of #BringBackOurGirls.
The Internet is loaded with arguments on either side of the fence.Which makes me cringe.Sides.There are sides.
Why are their sides??
Don't people ever get worn out of arguing?
Can't we all just do good and be kind? Cut each other some slack?
Can't we all just acknowledge that we feel helpless and that we are doing the best we can to find a way to help?
That we are trying to reach across the gap to the mother's whose arms are empty, to the girls who are alone and scared, saying We See You. We Hear You. We Stand With You. We Are Calling for Help on Your Behalf?

But still there are sides.
And while they each have good points, I have decided that this is one of those times when I have to pick.
I cannot sit on on the fence and get a spiritual wedgie (though I am a self-confessed damn moderate.)
This time I have to choose.

So here it is.

The question has been asked dopes #BringOurGirlsBack change anything?
Does it help in any way?

I think the answer is yes.

Every time I see #BringOurGirlsBack I am reminded that they are still gone.
And this changes the thought patterns in my head.

It changes what I think about when my feet hit the floor in the morning and I go to wake my children up for school. Shaking them in their warm beds, yelling at them for the third time to GET UP ALREADY. Out of their safe beds. Where I can hug them and kiss them.

It changes the conversations I have with the girls at my school.
The 13 and 14 year old girls who come into my office daily bringing their drama and problems. Problems that now seem so much smaller compared to their sisters in captivity across the ocean.

It changes how I talk to my sons about their responsibilities to fight for the rights of women and children and all of humanity.

It changes how I speak about my sisters and my mother and my friends and women in general. Am I building up or tearing down?

It changes my priorities, standing in Target debating whether or not to buy another throw pillow.
Is this what I want to use my voice for? Choosing this pillow? Who made this pillow? What women in what factory in what country made this very pillow? What are their lives like? Are their daughters at risk?

And when  I see #BringBackOurGirls, it changes how I pray. 

And who I pray for.

For the girls.
For the families.
For the captors.
For the men buying the girls.
For the diplomats and the negotiators and the people who make their coffee while they spend countless hours trying to figure this out.

Will a hashtag bring back the girls? I don't know. Maybe not.
Does it hurt their chances? I cannot answer that.

But for me, what the hashtag does do is wake me up to the realization (again, again, again) that - as Hilary has said -  "the rights of women and girls  are the unfinished business of the 21st century."


So I will post #BringBackOurGirls. 
I will repost news and blog post and calls for prayer.
And I will pray.
And I will work however I can to fight for the rights of women and girls however I can.
And I will try my damnedest to be a good steward of the voice and the privilege that I have to make the world a better, safer, kinder, more just place.
Not because I believe it is guaranteed to happen.
But because I believe we are called to try.

And I think that is what changes things.


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other post worth reading on #BringBackOurGirls
what Sarah has prayed.
what  A Church for Starving Artist has shared.
what Kristen has shared.
Caitlins reporting

Diary of a Bathroom Update - What I have learned so far

Around our beautimess house, the past two weeks have primarily been consumed with our bathroom upgrade project.
We can see the finish line but we are not there yet.

(Have I mentioned how grateful I am that my sister Jemimah and her husband Adam live less than 5 minutes away? Their toilets and showers have saved our bacon multiple times!)

Since we are doing 99% of the work ourselves I thought I would give you a little  look into what we are doing and share a bit about what I have learned so far.

(Pardon the picture quality. The phone cam is all I have had time for lately.)



Demo! 

Floor pre-grout and my hardworking Sweet Man

I love this faucet. I wanted something modern to contrast with the cottage-y vanity and I think this did a good job. Plus it wasn't a budget buster.


Great  out-of-a-box vanity. Beadboard keeps it cottage, clean lines keep it modern, and the taller height is a welcome change from our previous 1950's vanity.

Oops! Paint. $9 on the sale rack. It's exterior paint but I figured in a bathroom what does it matter?Also it is a lot thicker and goes on super smooth. Thinkin maybe exterior paint is the way to go even inside?

Subway tile going up!


Walls painted, floor grouted. Still left to do: Grout shower, change out vent cover, paint trim, add shower hardware.

We are not expert DIY folks, but we are complete novices either. Both Sweet Man and I are pretty handy and creative, but even we learn new things with each project we tackle. Here is what we have learned so far on this project:

Tiling:  Tools: This requires a lot more tools than you would think. Be prepared to spend a chunk of change on things like trowels, gloves, buckets, spacers (if needed,) grout shavers and other random tools that you think you won't need, but you probably will. 
Grout and Thin set Color Choice: Unless you are an expert tiler match the grout to your tile. This will mask all sorts of imperfections in your tile job. Trust me. Also choose a thin set that is as close to your grout color as possible. 
Tiling Sheets: We used mosaic sheets for both the floor and the shower. The good part was it made the job go faster. The bad part was that sometimes it was harder to get the lines all straight and even, because the sheets themselves were not always level. So just be prepared for that. If you are extremely OCD about lines being perfect you may want to pass up the sheets of tile for individual tiles, despite the longer installation. It's all about what you can live with.
Buttering: It's a thing. As is back-buttering. Look them up. You will need them.
Water Bucket: Keep a water bucket and a big ole sponge handy to wash off your hands and a grout brush to clean excess thin-set as you work. 
Other Tips: Depending on the thickness of your tile etc. you may have to shave  doors in your bathroom down so that they do not get stuck on your new (higher) floor. You may also have to shave your door frames at the bottom. They make a special tool for this too.
While Sweet Man and I love vintage and reclaimed items we are not sure the buyers of this house will feel the same way. So we have gone big-box store all the way with this bathroom. We have chosen mid-range priced items from the major home improvement stores  because I wanted the room to match the era of the house and look nice, not just like we chose the cheapest version of everything and threw things in  regardless of style or function.We have also left some of the original features such as the moldings, beadboard closet door, and medicine cabinet to give the room some character.  Also our tub itself is in great condition and is cast-iron so we are leaving it as is, just cleaning it up a bit.
The one thing I would have done differently is that I would have painted right after demo instead of waiting till the toilet and vanity were installed.It would have been much easier to paint a completely empty room. 
So that is our progress thus far. Hopefully by next Monday I will be able to show you the completed bathroom.
(And then it is on the kitchen!)
Thanks for following along this adventure with us!J
(PS - you can also follow along on my Instagram and  #DIYHappy)

Beautimess

Y'all life is messy.And it is beautifulThis is not news I know.
But somehow I have to keep wrestling with it.I have to keep coming back to the truth of it.Because I tend to only see the forest OR  the trees.I have a hard time remembering that they are parts of the same.They are part of each other.
So the truth is this.My life.It is picturesque and a complete disaster.It is wide and varied. It is mundane and daily.It is scattered and it is rooted.It is both and all of the above.
But it is not stagnant.
It is a river that runs.Rushing, meandering, straight ahead and around the bend.Always moving. Water against stone, refining my heart and soul if I let it.If I am open the mercy and grace that is offered.If I can participate in my own soul- transformation by receiving this constant erosion of my false self through grace extravagant, through raw tender honesty.
If I can let go of who I am in in exchange for who I am becoming.Letting down walls.Stepping out into the light.Leaving the safety of my plans and preferences.For the adventure of following Christ.Walking as he walked.Loving as he loved.Serving as he served.Giving away buckets and buckets of grace and mercy extravagant.
Only then can I see the forest and the trees.Only then do I remember that it is all beautimess.
J