Jerusalem Jackson Greer's Blog, page 10

Paw

No one should lose two grandparents to death in a two week span. But it could also be said that one should not complain if they get to age 39 with all four alive, and age 41 with three still here. But still. Two gone in two weeks is too many.

My Nana, my father’s mother, died on a Sunday, the next day, Monday we signed my Paw, my mother’s father, into hospice care.

A week later, the following Monday, we said our final goodbyes to Nana.

In Alaska, late 80’s

That Friday Paw passed away.

The Thursday after we laid him to rest.

Even though they had both been fading for a while, it is still a surreal thing to happen. To lose them both so close together. To say goodbye to being the girl with all the grandparents so fast.

Oh how lucky I was.

Below are a gathering of memories from friends and loved ones, including the longer version of the obituary that I wrote to go in his service bulletin for the funeral.

There are so many things I could say about my Paw, but quite frankly, I think right now, I am out of words. They are all used up. My heart needs time to absorb the shock and find it’s footing once again, to refill the well with time and memories.

 

Thomas West Beverly Jr was born, November 10, 1922 to Mary Ellen Williams Beverly and Thomas West Beverly Senior, in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. The oldest of three boys, Tom joined the United States Army at age seventeen (yes, lying about his age, which caused no end of problems when we scheduled his burial at the Veteran’s cemetary let me tell you,) and served in World War II in the Pacific.  While stationed at Camp Robinson in North Little Rock, Arkansas, he met Ethelee Hale, a Little Rock native, who proclaimed something to the affect that she “wouldn’t date that cocky conceited first lieutenant if he was the last man on earth.”  Never afraid of a challenge, Tom eventually won Ethelee’s heart and they were married on November 27, 1946.

With his youngest great-grandchild last summer

In time, three children graced the Beverly home: Terry, Tanya, and Tejia, while Tom worked hard to provide for the family as a traveling salesmen. In time the children grew and added to the family, including two sons-in-law, six grandchildren, four grandchildren-in-law, and five great-grandchildren.  Tom’s business grew as well, and he achieved the status of top salesman for Miracle Playground Equipment.  A larger than life personality, Tom was the consummate people person – he never met a stranger and loved to see his children happy.

Post-fishing trip with my brother Josh, mid-80’s

Tom enjoyed fishing, water walking, frying catfish, talking politics, loving on his critters, extreme couponing (before it was popular,) sitting on his porch swing, and making Ethelee happy. He joined his parents, brothers, and son Terry, in death. Tom,  was laid to rest on July 7, 2016, near the very place where he met my Ethelee at Camp Robinson. It was a lovely service full of funny, warm, and bittersweet memories. His was a life well lived.

 With my Maw, August 2012

Upon reflection of their life together, Ethelee said

We Lived

We Loved

We Locked-Horns

We Lasted.

The week he died, Facebook was flooded with memories:

Holding baby Judy Carleene circa 1985

My baby sister Judea wrote this: 

“The world lost a great man this morning. My grandfather, “Paw” passed away around 5am today. His 93 years on this earth left it a better place and I will miss him dearly. He was the first to introduce me to BBQ at McClard’s, he taught me how to dive head-first, he was my liberal pal in a family full of conservatives and he taught me the importance of getting regular oil changes, wearing seat belts and to always put my parking break on. Before I was his “Judy Carleene” he was a war hero, a tall and cocky charmer from Mississippi and the love of my grandmother’s life. His last days on this side of heaven were not easy. He struggled with dementia but he never truly forgot my grandmother b and would reach for her hand at almost every visit.  G o flirt with all those angels in heaven, Paw. You’ll probably charm the wings off ’em”

My uncle Tim (my dad’s baby brother) wrote this:

“Even as my sister-in-law Tanya and niece Jerusalem were speaking beautifully and poignantly at my mother’s funeral on Monday, their father and grandfather (respectively) was nearing the end of his life. Tom Beverly died early this morning at age 93. Greatly loved, he will be greatly missed.

Mr. Beverly is a larger-than-life figure from my childhood. He was a World War II veteran. He made a career out of selling playground equipment — which was just about the most amazing thing I’d ever heard of as a little kid. He was tall, big and loud and funny and fun to be around. He enjoyed life so much that even life got a kick out of it.

Our family grieves with Ethelee and her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren at Tom’s passing. But we are also warmed by the memories and legacy he left us.”

Jemimah cutting his hair, 4th of July 2004. 

My middle sister, Jemimah, wrote this on the day after his service.

“Yesterday they laid my Paw to rest. I was sad I couldn’t be there to see it, but I am so blessed lil man and I were there to say goodbye before he passed. He lived a good long 93 years filled with family and friends, love and laughter, life and death, war and peace, God and country. He was a veteran, a husband, a father, a businessman and a big supporter of his grand kids. He supported us in our adventures and even traveled cross country to see us. Even though he didn’t say much when there was a crowd of family swirling around him, from his quiet corner with his peanuts he would enjoy us in his own way. He loved to make his wife happy and even though “I love you” was rarely spoken, his “Baby” and their children and their grandchildren knew he did.

I will miss his smell. I will miss his steady devotion to his wife. I will miss his use of a handkerchief. I will miss sitting on the porch swing drinking a Coke with Paw.

Thank God he suffers here no more.”

From my Dad

“We’re laying the body of TOM BEVERLY to rest tomorrow at noon. A member of the Greatest Generation, he served in World War II, including in the Philippines and in the occupation of Japan. Besides which, he sired my wife, Tanya Beverly Jackson, and was a great father-in-law to me. Prayers appreciated for all the family, especially his widow, faithful Ethelee.”

 

Dancing with me on my wedding day, May 24, 1997

Paw was also well known in the family for all his “Popisms” as my Aunt Teija calls them. Here are some of the favorites we told at the funeral:

That is gooder than snuff

Ho-boy!

How are you Paw?

Well, I got up this morning and that’s a bonus!

I know you! What jail were we in?

Mule barn! (he would answer the phone this way)

Buckety– Buckety (when he saw an animal running)

Neckin’ leads to naked! (he said this once, out of the blue, when we were asking Jemimah about a boyfriend.)

You keep this up—you’re gonna get on regular! (To anyone who served him a good meal)

She’s my baby! (This is what he told everyone he met at the nursing home about my Maw, up until the end.)

Take what you want, but eat what you take!

I already swung on that gate!

I don’t understand all I know about that.

Their as crooked as a dogs hind leg.

The dishes must be dishwasher ready! (This was especially important when my family lived with Maw and Paw and helped with the chores.)

Give that baby a bone! (Said when I was a crying toddler at a holiday meal.)

***************

Boy howdy, I’m going to miss this man.

We should all eat life up with the same joy and happiness as he did.

I love you Paw. Thank you for it all.

Filed under: Blog, Family Tagged: featured

Though she be but little…

…she is fierce. (Shakespeare)

This is a tribute to the ministry of my Nana, Carlene Wade Jackson, given by me at her memorial service on July 27, 2016. Interspersed are a few favorite pictures.

My cousin Matthew and I (we are three years old in this picture) had the privilege of being the first grandchildren to grace the arms of Carlene and Johnny Jackson Sr. (front and center) and so the task has fallen to us this afternoon to help remember our Nana on behalf of the grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

I am the oldest grandchild by a whopping three days – something I attempted to lord over Matthew all during our childhood, to no avail. And now, at our age, I suppose it isn’t something to brag about.

But even though our birth order never really mattered to anyone but me, there was one thing that did set me apart from Matthew. I was a granddaughter. This is same thing that sets Jemimah, Jennifer, and Judea, apart from Joshua, Micah, Jonathan, James, Jacob and Sam. We were the four granddaughters of a Nana who was the mother of four sons.  And as such we were both a mystery and a delight to her. We were all a little feistier than she had expected, but I think if you knew her it is obvious where our spunk and independent spirit came from.

Nana was never short on opinions or love, especially for her granddaughters. And while there were many things she attempted to teach us regarding the behavior of ladies (some successfully, some were lost causes) the lessons I personally learned most from her, I learned by watching her live and love for the past forty-one years.

Like many Jacksons before me, I am by calling and trade, a minister. And while I may have learned how to preach from the men in the family, I learned how to minister from my Nana.

My Nana had an exceptional gift of hospitality. Any of you who had the privilege of eating a meal my Nana’s table, knew she was an amazing cook, the kind of home cook who put out a spread of southern-cooking’s greatest hits each time she stepped into the kitchen. During my childhood, my family lived all over the country – from Florida to Alaska, and often our trips home to Little Rock coincided with major events: holidays, ordination services, revival weeks, weddings, all of which birthed my favorite part of coming home: Sunday evening gatherings at Nana and Granddaddy’s.  In those days, before we all grew up, my grandparents’ house was a wonderful gathering place for friends and family, especially after church services.  Their house, at 2905 Echo Valley Drive had been built the year I was born, and remained the one constant physical space in my life for thirty-nine years. That house had a long hallway that was always the location for pint-sized football games and wrestling sessions – a hallway I generally stayed out of, preferring instead to linger in the the formal living and dining room where people sat in front of  plates piled high with fried chicken, black-eyed peas, mashed potatoes, mac–n-cheese, sautéed squash, bowls of corn chowder, chicken-n-dumplings, cornbread and rolls on the side, followed by pies, my Mama Ruby’s chocolate chip cookies and my Nana’s famous pound cakes. All around the tables – and there were plenty of tables in my Nana’s home – I alone took home five card tables when we sold her house – the grown-ups talked religion, movies, occasionally politics, and always football, and I loved to listen to their chatter. In the background, grown-ups and kids tinkered on the piano, sometimes a full-on gospel quartet forming, often and the guest of honor taking the hot seat, leading everyone in a round of rousing hymns.

In the family room, football was most likely on the TV, children darting in and out, playing hide and seek grabbing bites of rolls and honey baked ham in between their games.

Our family is like everyone else’s – we are not perfect.  We have had our fights, our heartbreaks, our wounded pride and hurt feelings. That is just life between humans – messy and beautiful and frayed around the edges. But nothing can ever diminish the love and warmth I felt as a child in my Nana’s home; the feeling that I was the luckiest girl in the world to be a part of something so magical. All the laughter, all the singing, the great food, the intense discussions, the storytelling… Those nights were a powerful life force that enveloped me, comforted me, and inspired me. They taught me so much about love and community. And they were all because of my Nana. Her love of ministering through hospitality was a gift from God that brought people together around the table to pray and to break bread, and I have spent my entire adult life trying to recreate it in my own home.

Another gift of ministry that Nana possessed was the gift of ministering to children.  Nana loved small children and worked tirelessly for years as the Preschool or Nursery director in her churches. A few years ago I inherited several of her instructional books like this one, tabbed, marked, underlined, with notes in the margins. I especially love one section called Some Do’s for Nursery Workers. This list includes such hits as

Remove your hat.
Get down on the child’s level, even if it means sitting on the floor most of the time.
Use a soft voice.
Listen and observe more than you talk.

It is a pretty neat thing to have a Nana who is rich in knowledge about early childhood development, who would sit on the floor and play with us, who would sing songs about Jesus to us in her soft voice, who would listen to our thoughts and opinions. In fact it was my Nana who taught me – by how she treated me and my cousins, and how she treated the children in her church – that children are just as worthy of learning the Gospel as any adult. That just as much time and preparation should go into preparing their Sunday School lesson as for any adult class. In Nana’s world, little children were not second-class citizens, but instead we were people in our own right. A powerful message to a granddaughter like me.

And thirdly, my Nana taught me about the ministry of friendships. Because we lived out of state for most of my childhood, my summer visits to Arkansas would often be extended and I would happily shuffle from my mother’s parents’ home to my Nana and Granddaddy’s home to the homes of my aunts and uncles. But life for them didn’t stop just because there was a kid thrown into the mix for several weeks. Which meant I got to tag along as they went about their normal lives – going to the church office with my Granddaddy, folding laundry with my Aunt Vicki, and window shopping with my Aunt Kathy. And when I was with Nana, I got to go visiting. I cannot tell you how many times we went and visited friends such as Miss Gwen, Miss Fern, or Miss Marilynn, and many more. In fact I think everyone here could add name after name to the list of my Nana’s best friends. No one has ever had as many best friends as she did.  Dropping off food, running errands for her elderly friends, helping with small housekeeping jobs for the injured or expecting, she did all of this and more while still often cooking three meals a day for Granddaddy . But mostly what my Nana did for her friends was to listen and pray. I will forever hold dear the image of her on the phone at that little desk she had built into the bookcases near the kitchen, how she would give those little nods and murmurs of agreement or in some cases her lip smacks of disapproval. “Well, I swan!” she would exclaim when shocked while she listened to a friend share her story. And I will always remember Nana sitting on the edge of her bed, updating her prayer request list in her little spiral notebooks. Years and years of names and recipes often lumped together between the ruled lines.  My Nana was a wonderful friend to so many women – she treasured them, looked after them, tended to their physical, spiritual, and emotional needs. Up until the very end she kept her address book right beside her, a book that was overflowing with notes and names and reminders of people to pray for. I try, like her, to be a friend that listens, and prays.

My Nana may have looked small, and sweet and soft on the outside – and she was, she was the “most feminine woman” ever as my Granddaddy would have said.

But in my eyes she was also fierce and strong – strong of will, strong of opinion, strong of conviction. But most of all strong and fierce in her love – for her friends, for all the children in her life – her sons, her grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, for my Granddaddy, but most of she was fierce in her love for Jesus.

Filed under: Blog, Family Tagged: featured

My Favorite Summer Salad

Hands down. this salad is one of my very favorite summer treats.

Full of fresh vegetables and covered in the lightest dressing, this dish is a healthy, filling, summer salad that keeps well in the refrigerator for several days and is perfect for a picnic or side dish at any cook-out.

I have posted this recipe before, but I recently took some new (and better!) photo’s and I wanted to include some new tips that I have learned after years making and eating this refreshing salad.

Couscous Summer Salad

Ingredients

1 1/2 stock (chicken or vegetable – I use chicken)

1 cup plain couscous

1 large cucumber, peeled, seeded, and thinly sliced

2 cups sliced grape tomatoes

1 cup of crumbled Feta cheese

1 small purple onion, thinly sliced

The kernels of 3 fresh ears of corn, slightly boiled (or the equivalent in canned or frozen)

Juice and pulp of 1 large lemon

2 Tablespoons of Sunflower Oil

2 teaspoons pf Sea Salt

Directions

Boil stock over high heat

Measure out couscous and set in heat safe bowl

Pour hot stock over dry couscous

Set aside to cool

In a second bowl combine veggies and cheese

Add couscous to mixture while still warm

Mix in lemon juice, oil, and salt.

Stir thoroughly, cover and set in fridge for 1-5 hours.

Note 1: You can serve this right away, but it is also wonderful if it has some time marinate and I can never decide which way I prefer!

Note 2: If you find that your salad is slightly dry after it has set in the fridge for a few days, you might consider adding more lemon juice and just a tad more oil to refresh it.

Note 3: Make sure that the couscous/stock mixture is still a bit warm when you mix in the cheese and vegetables. The warmth helps to draw out the juices a bit and soften the cheese just the right amount.

Do you have a favorite summer salad? Leave me a link in the comments – I am always looking for new ones to try!

Happy Eating –

Filed under: Blog, Feast Tagged: Cooking, featured

A Working Mom’s Summer Survival Kit

 

Summers can be great and summers can be brutal. And I am not just talking about the heat.

I am talking about the challenges that summer can be for me as a working mom.

This summer marks my sixteenth year as a mother, and in those sixteen years I have traveled back and forth along the stay-at-home to work-outside-the-home spectrum. I have been stay-at-home mom, a work-from-home mom, a part-time outside-the-home working mom, and a full-time outside the home working mom. I have worked for myself and I have worked for other people. I have worked at a school so as to be on my kids schedules, and I have  worked through the summers, and I have spent the summers completely at home. My kids have had in-home childcare, outside the home childcare, family member childcare, public school, charter school, Mother’s-Day-Out childcare, and me.

In my sixteen years mothering I have made my way through most of the mommy war scenarios, and I can tell you that they are all hard and they are all rewarding. They all have drawbacks and they all have benefits. And summer is the Achilles heel of all of them.

This summer is my second summer as a Working-Outside-the-Home-Full-Time-Not-On-a-School-Schedule- Mom.

Between my youngest son’s Kindergarten and Fifth Grade school years, I worked on a school schedule, which meant that I had the majority of my boys summer break off with them. But when I took a job in full-time ministry, all of that changed. While my schedule has a lot more flexibility in it than other full-time jobs might,  it still requires me to keep office hours, take shifts being on call to my church members, and to work some nights and weekends (and of course Sundays.) 

To say that I was unprepared for what this change would mean for our summer schedule is understatement. 

Last summer was a disaster. A completely mess of unrealistic expectations of myself, frustration with how my boys were spending their days (which usually involved too much media and not enough chores,) guilt over being away from them so much, guilt over being frustrated by their general adolescentness outlook (i.e. too much media, not enough chores) due to my lack of planning, sadness that I was missing out on the summer fun I had grown accustomed to,  and bone weary exhaustion from trying to run in too many different directions at once.

We all survived, but not without a lot of regret on my part. And I don’t do regret well.

As we entered the school year and returned to a familiar rhythm, I took stock of the summer and made mental and actual notes about what went wrong and how we could do better next year.

I am not generally a big planner – it seems that in my case I make plans just so that God or the universe can break them, but in order to create a new way of living and enjoying summer as a family with a full-time-working-outside-the-home-mom, I decided that creating a summer survival plan might just be the thing that proves the rule.

So without further adieu, here it is:

How to Survive and Enjoy Summer as a Working Mom

 

Harness the Technology for Good 

I have bigger kids. Kids with phones. Kids who need those phones because they stay home a majority of the summer. Kids who catch rides with friends to the movies while I am work. Kids who are sometimes still asleep when I leave for work. Kids who are old enough to do chores.

But like a lot of kids, they are not great at time management. Or at noticing all the things around the house that need to be done. They are easily sucked into the vortex of screens – big, medium, palm size.

And even though I understand this,  it is no less frustrating to come home, after a long day at work,  to cranky zombie-esque teenagers, and a house that looks like a tornado came through.

So here is our 4 step solution to coming home to a clean house, zombie-free house using technology.

Text a list of chores to your kids each morning. (You know they see their phones, so no “I couldn’t find/the dog ate it/brother lost it” excuses.)
 Make sure to give a time-specific deadline that is at least 1 hour before you will return home from work or 1 hour before their friends are to pick them up for an outing/they want to walk to the park etc.
Have them text you a photo or video of EACH completed chore. Use Facetime or Skype if you need to ask questions or see in more detail (for instance if they have to clean a whole room you might want a live tour.)
Have a consequence in place if they do not meet the time deadline. (Ours is no media until the next day.)

This plan works really well for us (I tested it over Spring Break.) By sending me the pictures I can see what they have or haven’t done (hey kid, cleaning your room includes making the bed!) By having the deadline earlier than my arrival home, I am guaranteed to walk into a clean house instead of kids frantically running around and yelling at each other, trying to get it done before I walk through the door or worse, kids who look up from the screen all glassy-eyed and say “I was just about to do that…jeez Mom!”

Keep a Lid on the Feeding Frenzy 

We have boys. Growing boys. Hungry boys. Boys who will eat if they are bored, if they are inspired by a YouTube commercial, boys who will eat because, hey! there is food!

Last summer they ate us out of house and home, and on more than one occasion, I went to make dinner only to find that half of my ingredients were missing – used instead for their lunch, or snack, or culinary experiment. I was not a happy momma.

This summer I am putting a lid on the feeding frenzy. Literally.

I call this weekly plan: A Bin, a Shelf, and a Drawer.

Each week I will fill one small-to-medium plastic bin, one refrigerator shelf, and one refrigeration drawer with items they can eat for breakfast, lunch, and snacks.

But here is the catch – once the bin, the shelf, and the drawer are empty, that is it for the week. I am not refilling it until the next week. 

So, go ahead kids make all four boxes of mac-n-cheese on Tuesday, I don’t care. But you are not getting any more until Monday.

Want to take the whole jar of trail mix to the game room and eat it while you watch your Star Wars marathon on Thursday night? Go right ahead! But don’t think you can have any of my trail mix on Friday. Sorry kid, you will just have to do without until Monday.

Same goes for the cheese, the bread, the milk, the juice, the cereal,  the applesauce, and the ramen noodles.

This is a great way to teach the kids rationing, portion control, self-control, and budgeting, and bonus – it will help keep me from losing my cool when I go to make taco dinner and find that all my cheese and tortillas are gone! After all, hell hath no furry like a momma without her groceries.

 

Wherever you are, Be all there 

A few weeks ago Sweet Man stole me away for an anniversary trip. He planned the entire trip and surprised me with the location and accommodations. In an effort to be present to just him, I took Twitter and Facebook off my phone for the weekend. I knew I spent a lot of time mindlessly looking at my phone, but I had no idea just how bad it had gotten until that trip. I also didn’t realize how much emotional energy I was investing in my Twitter feed in particular.

Part of the stress of last summer was the feeling of always being divided between all my spaces – work, home, and online.

This summer in an effort to curb that feeling I am practicing the spiritual discipline of Being Here.

For me this means:

No Facebook or Twitter on my phone for the summer.

Media-Free Family Time (in the garden, in the pool, in the kitchen, around the table, on the porch,etc.) from 6-9 pm each weeknight, no phones except for the occasional picture-taking for me.

Sticking to Early Morning Routine (getting my writing/blogging time done in the early morning hours while the boys are asleep and the house is quiet,) so I can be present to them when they are awake.

One week into our summer break and I can already tell that these three things are going to be game changers for me. The frantic level is way down, and the peace level is way up.

Get. A. Pool. 

Seriously. It will save your working-momma life.

This was our first pool in 2011. I choose it because it was just big enough for a raft. It was a game changer for my summer experience.

This year we have upgraded to one of those big above ground numbers that I swore I would never have, but here we are, and I am happy as a lark about it.

There is something absolutely restorative about coming home from work, getting out of my hot clothes, throwing on a swim suit, and floating on a raft in the cold water, with a cocktail in my hand, that just makes all the juggling and balancing just not seem so stressful anymore. After a good hour of floating  I am ready to take on family chore time, dinner making, laundry shoveling, or whatever else life throws my way.

So friends, please, for all our sake. If you can afford even a raft size pool, please get one. You won’t be sorry.

Time Travel 

Between camp fees (good golly summer camp is pricey!) and things like pools and adding a teenager to the car insurance, there often isn’t a lot of money leftover for a big family vacation (especially if you have to pay for childcare – big fist bump to all you parents who have to scrounge that ungodly sum of money up over the summer!)

Staycations are nice and can be a less expensive solution, but it is just so hot here in the middle of summer, that all we really want to do is pull the shades tight and sit in a dark cool house and chill. Which makes it the perfect time to do some time-traveling.

Over the past few summers we have begun a tradition of watching vintage Movies and Television shows as family. While we have a no-screen policy in the evenings overall, we occasionally break it by forcing our kids to watch classics (that they moan about and then they love.)

This summer I am having a total nostalgic trip with retro-television, watching the sort of shows I watched during the summer at my grandparents (who had cable) during my long visits.  Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, The Brady Bunch… They all take me back to summers filled with cold glasses of Tang, boxes of Vanilla Wafers, and lazy afternoons when my greatest concern was what I would wear to VBS the next day.

Sharing classic television and movies with our kids has been a fun way to connect our childhoods to theirs, to tell stories of our growing up years, and to enjoy “the good ol’ days” of summer again.

Find a Favorite Summer Cocktail or Mocktail

This cocktail is called the Happy Camper via my friend Whitney and it is amazing (whip cream vodka and lemonade ’nuff said.)

Every momma – working outside the home or not – needs their own special summer cocktail or mocktail. Something light and refreshing.

Something that takes you away from the office and the fighting kids and the busted air conditioner, and instead lands you solidly on a beach or in a cabana, where the lovely Juan or Juanita (take your pick,) brings you fruity drinks, served in a precious cup,  with adorable straws, with flirty smile.

Just a little something that is just for you – no kids, no spouse, no sharing.

Whether it is a Ras-Beer-Rita mixed with a juice box (I know how to stay class y’all,) a bottle of your favorite Sangria, or something that requires ten ingredients and a shaker, try to find a summer beverage to sip from your raft in your pool,  on the porch after everyone is in bed, or hiding in your room while you binge UnREAL on Hulu, I promise that a personal summer beverage is key to a happy summer survival.

Well friends, this is my grand plan for surviving summer as a working momma.  What are your tips? What has worked well for you – as a working mom or stay -at- home mom?  I would love to know!

This post was inspired with my conversation with friend Megan Tietz on her podcast Extra Awesome 

Listen HERE

Happy Summer!

 

Filed under: Blog, Family Tagged: featured, HomespunSummer

Welcome Summer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

U Pick Fruit * Swimming * Grillin’ * Flea Markets * Road Trips * Porch Parties * Icy Cocktails * Red-White-N-Blue * Firecrackers * Farm Loving * All the Salads * Farmer’s Markets * Friends * Late Nights * Afternoon Naps * Ice Cream * Straw Hats * Bug Spray * Lighting Bugs * Family

Even as hot as it gets, I do love a Southern Summer. Just something about it gets me everytime.

Filed under: Blog, Fete Tagged: featured

So I Married My Brother

 

 

The picture is of my baby brother Joshua, and I on my wedding day.

I was 22 and he was 19.

BABIES. 

We had just danced a jig together and were sweaty as heck.

It was a great day.

This second picture is of us on HIS wedding day.

We are no longer 22 and 19 (praise the Lord!)

We are no longer babies. We might even be grown-ups (on certain days.)

We snapped this selfie just moments after I performed his wedding ceremony.

(Wait what did you think I meant when I said I married my bother??? For shame!)

What lifetimes we have lived between those images, how grateful we both are to be here now.

It was an amazing day.

So yes, I married my brother.

I married him here at Preservation Acres under the pecan tree.

I married him to his beautiful bride, who is now my beautiful sister.

In addition to a new sister I also got a new niece and nephew in the deal. Best reward for performing a wedding EVER.

Man, I love those goofballs.

It was so much fun to host their wedding.

The planning was minimal – the couple’s only request being that “it’s like a family picnic where we just happen to get married.”

And that is exactly what happened.

Simple, easy, no-fuss (okay, no fuss by MY standards) family picnic.

(You know I LOVED having an excuse to break out all the cutest I have stuffed away in closets for just these sorts of occasions…)

There were drinks on the workbench.

Mismatched chairs filled with grandparents.

Kids eating homemade ice cream.

Family everywhere.

Grilled meats.

My brother checking out his ring.

Musicians noodling.

And lots of paper straws.

(I am a complete sucker for any reason to pull out the paper straws.)

Vintage sheets as tablecloths and bubbles as centerpieces.

Target buntings hung wherever we could throw them.

Trampoline fun.

Newlyweds.

ALL THE SALADS.

Cuteness overload.

Wildflowers from the yard filled stuffed in colorful bottles.

Worlds Best Cheesecake and Wal-Mart toppers.

An amazing, beautiful, easy, warm, simply sacred day.

A day when love was all around.

Filed under: Blog, Family, Fete Tagged: featured, Preservation Acres

This is 19

 

“When you say those wedding vows at eighteen, you are committing yourselves—with all that you are and all that you have—to only each other because you are young and wreathed in glory and take up all the space there is. When you say them at thirty-five, you are signing on for something wider: a whole garden full of people to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, in wheelchairs and sleepwalking and heart attacks, in arrogance and graciousness, stubbornness and forgiveness, stumbling and wisdom, in meanness and in kindness that falls like snow and shines brighter than the Dog Star. To love and to cherish, yes. Like a tiger. A hurricane. A family. Relentlessly.” The Precious One by Marisa de los Santos

19 years ago we said I do.

19 years ago we had no idea.

We were babies.

Good, bad, awful, amazing and everything in between lay ahead for us, and we had no earthly idea.

 

We have fought hard with each other and fought hard for this life together.

And even though we have not said our vows again – with formality and an audience and fancy dress, – we say them everyday with our actions.

When we show up, when we stick to it, when we choose again and again and again to love and to cherish in sickness and in health, in debt and in freedom, in dreams and in duty, in expanded waistlines and new eating habits, in extended family and chosen friends, in questions and in certainty, when we table arguments for our therapy sessions, and when we sit on the porch for evening cocktails while we watch the sun set, ignoring the dishes and the kids and the laundry,  we are saying our vows louder and relentlessly, for what is, what was, and for what will be.

This is 19.

Worn, frayed, patched, sacred, beautiful, and amazing 19.

 

 

 

 

 

Filed under: Blog, Family Tagged: featured

Grace for your Friday – The Pentecost Edition

Pentecost is this Sunday and I for one am READY! In fact I ordered some Saltwaters in Red just so I would be ready to be decked out from head to toe in the liturgical color of this special day.

“Why do so many christians make a big deal out of this one Sunday?” you may be asking (and a decade ago I was asking this question too..)

Well, Pentecost is the “Birthday of the Church”  Fifty days after Easter Christians celebrate the day the Holy Spirit descended on the apostles, causing them to speak in tongues, which people (who were visiting Jerusalem) from all over could actually understand. Therefore Pentecost celebrates the day that the love and grace of Christ began to be shared and spread to EVERYONE, no barriers, no divides.

Which is something I find to be worthy of big celebrations and dancing with our red shoes on!

For this weekends interweb round-up I thought I would share a few other Pentecost celebration ideas I found online, ideas that I thought you might like as well…

Little Birdie Rolls

As much as I love these, I think I would have to leave off the eyes. I just can’t imagine biting the head off – it’s a little too Ozzy for me…

Pentecost Sundeas

Ok these are so adorable that we are going to make them at church on Sunday.

The fireball on top is the BEST.

Great video from my friends at Trinity Wall Street Episcopal in NYC.

If you don’t go to a church that celebrates Pentecost and you and your family want to learn more, this is a great place to start.

 

Adorable video for kids of all ages  – I showed this at our youth group Sunday night and then we used Lego’s to re-create Holy Spirit bible stories . This would be a great way to introduce Pentecost to kids.

 

One of the popular ways to celebrate Pentecost is by serving either a spicy  OR a flame-kissed meal. I have long been intimidated by the grill, so I thought it was perfect timing that this episode on Girls and Grills came out from the Sorta Awesome crew just in time for Pentecost! So ladies, grab those tongs and start those grills, and cook what the spirit leads!

I love this coloring sheet from Flame Creative Children’s Ministry ! Such as easy and mellow way for kids of all ages to celebrate.

My own Rhubarb Pepper Jelly recipe – created especially for Pentecost!

So there you go – some fun and relatively low-stress ways to celebrate this wonderful day at home or in community!

Happy Pentecost Friends,

Filed under: Blog, Faith, Fete Tagged: featured, Friday Favorites

Rhubarb Pepper Jelly for Pentecost

On Pentecost I am reminded that the Holy Spirit often comes like a mighty rushing wind, a burning fire of conviction, blowing up my assumptions daily, telling me to walk beyond my experiences and understanding of the world, to meet people where they are, as they are—to listen and speak with an open and tender heart instead of an insecure and arrogant one, forsaking my comfort for the benefit of others, speaking in ways that they can understand, instead of the other way around.  – from A Homemade Year: The Blessings of Cooking, Crafting, and Coming Together

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Just about every year, around the time of Pentecost Sunday, my friend Nancy in Alaska sends out a message that her Rhubarb is ready for pickin and who would like some?

And just about every year, if I remember, I raise my hand and jump up and down and say Me! Me! Me!

Which makes me giggle a bit because many moons ago, I HATED rhubarb.

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The year I began sixth grade my family moved to Juneau Alaska, lock, stock, southern roots and all.

Now, we all know that adolescence is hard enough without throwing a cross-culture move into the mix.

And if you don’t think that moving from Florida to Alaska in the mid-80’s was a cross-cultural, well come over for coffee sometime and let me fill you in.

Because to my little 12-year-old heart and mind, we might have well just moved to the moon.

And I HATED it.

And I HATED everything that was the least bit “Southeast Alaska.”

Glaciers, Bald Eagles, Hiking, Salmon, Snow Boots, Gold Mining,  Rain, Totem Poles, and Rhubarb.

When we first moved it seemed as if rhubarb was in every coffee cake, every pie, every piece of everything that the people in our church served us, and I was sick to death of it.

Of course I eventually grew to love Juneau and lots of  things “Southeast Alaska” (though I am still not a huge of salmon or hiking) and I am so proud of how the culture there shaped and changed me, how it opened my eyes and then my heart to different ways of living, different streams of faith, different ideas of what “success” looks like.

And I eventually learned to love rhubarb.

When I was writing the chapter on Pentecost in my first book A Homemade Year, I knew that I wanted to do something to bring both my Southern and my Alaskan roots together. After all Pentecost is a celebration of this very thing – of the ways in the which the Holy Spirit unites us all, falling into our lives and stirring us together like kitchen sink soup.

One of the traditional symbols of Pentecost is the Tongues of Fire from Acts 2, so as a little play on words I decided to create a pepper jelly (a favorite condiment here in the south,) using rhubarb as the base.

I adore how this recipe came out – it is such the perfect mix of tangy and sweet with just enough heat.

Rumor has it that there is a package of fresh rhubarb on its way to me right now.. Maybe I will whip myself up a batch this weekend just in time for Pentecost on Sunday…

 

(images by Judea Jackson Robinett)

Rhubarb Pepper Jelly

Prepare

To sterilize jelly jars, lids, and screw bands, begin by bathing them in hot soapy water; rinse with warm water and set aside to dry. Prepare your work surface. You will need a large-mouthed funnel, a pair of tongs, at least 1 hot pad and 1 kitchen towel and 2 trivets to set the hot pans on.

Next, fill a small saucepan with ½ cup of water. Place on burner. Layer lid inserts, bottoms facing up in saucepan, and turn heat onto medium heat. When your pot of lids has begun to boil, you can remove it from the heat at this point and place it near your washed and dried jars. You will need tongs to remove lids from the hot water individually when the time comes.

Ingredients

8 small to medium jalapeño peppers (stems and seeds removed), rinsed

1 small red or green bell pepper with seeds removed (optional)

4 cups chopped rhubarb stalks

¼ cup lemon juice

½ cup white vinegar

½ cup white grape juice

6 cups sugar

1 1.75-ounce box of dry pectin ( I prefer Sure-Jell®)

Directions

Chop rhubarb into ½-inch thick pieces.

Dice bell pepper into very small pieces and set aside.

Mince jalapenos using food processor (you should have about ½ cup of chopped jalapenos).

Add jalapenos and rhubarb to a large non-stick stock pot.

Over medium heat bring rhubarb and peppers to a boil, stirring continuously (the water in the rhubarb will create a liquid that will boil).

Cook until peppers and rhubarb are completely broken down, resembling the consistency of applesauce.

Add in liquid ingredients, bell pepper, and then pectin; bring back to a boil over high heat.

Quickly add sugar, stirring to dissolve.

Bring to a full heavy rolling boil and boil hard for 1 minute, stirring continuously.

Remove from heat; quickly skim off any foam.

Fill sterile jars, leaving ¼-inch headspace. Wipe jar rims and adjust lids and rings.

If the jelly is hot enough the lids will seal, but to be safe, immerse them in a hot water bath for 5 minutes.

Use tongs to carefully lift finished jars from water and let the jars rest on a towel until cool.

(If you are new to the canning process, I strongly suggest visiting the website PickYourOwn.Com, which has wonderful tips, conversion charts, and repair tricks for when things don’t quite gel. In my experience jelly making is as temperamental as baking and it never hurts to have a good resource to turn to for help.)

 

Rhubarb Pepper Jelly served her with Jamaican Hard Bread and Spicy Cajun Breakfast Casserole, are additional recipes are in A Homemade Year and would make a great Pentecost Brunch.

Here is to learning to opening our hearts and minds (and taste buds!) to things outside our comfort zone this Pentecost –

Much love!

Filed under: Blog, Faith, Feast Tagged: A Homemade Year, featured

Boys in the Kitchen – Then and Now

When I started this blog ten years ago I had an almost-two-year-old and an almost-six-year-old. I worked very part-time as an interior design assistant and dreamed of opening a shabby chic style reclaimed craft supply store and writing books.  We were struggling financially more than we ever had before (or hopefully ever will again,) and sleep was this elusive thing I heard about from other people.

Back in those days I had one kid still in diapers and another kid who wasn’t strong enough to pour his own milk yet. My greatest wishes included sleeping through the night with no extra visitors, getting to eat a meal all the way through, and never having to pour another sippy cup of juice.

Ten years ago to the day I wrote my very first Mother’s Day post, and it featured the picture above,on the left, of a sleeping almost-2 year old Miles. I was so very happy that he had fallen asleep before lunch because it meant that a) I wouldn’t have him trying to eat off my plate, and b) I would be able to finish my lunch  all the way through.

This year for Mother’s Day, Miles, now almost 12 years old, recreated the scene for me as my gift.  He is a little big bigger, but still just as sweet and mischievous as he was then. Of course now he lets me finish my lunch every day, and I am now the one that takes the naps…

 

 

In addition to letting me sleep through night, and eating all of my food in one sitting, the boys  also do laundry, clean toilets, vacuum, unload and load the dishwasher, and use the riding lawn mower on a regular basis.

And they make me dinner.

 

 

Our current routine is that each boy makes dinner one night each week – usually Wylie takes’ Tuesdays and Miles takes Thursdays. Sometimes we help out with side dishes or basic questions like “is this chicken done?”  but when it is their night, they are in charge.  They choose the meal and cook the majority of the food, and they clean up.

While Miles has developed a love for all things culinary and loves to take risk and try new ideas, Wylie takes a more pragmatic approach. His objectives are to get everyone fed and cook something that is easy and that he likes.

And so, almost every Tuesday night, we have the following meal:

Frozen cheese tortilini and ravioli cooked just right, served with a mixture of red and white jar sauces, and a side of lima beans with butter and salt.

It isn’t fancy or gourmet, but you know what? I don’t have to cook it, or come up with it, or worry that anyone will turn their noses up at it.

We eat it from big bowls, sitting on the couch, watching old episodes of the West Wing together.

Everyone is happy, everyone is fed, and no one needs their diaper changed.

It is a blissful thing.

 

It is no secret that the little years were not my favorites. I adored my babies and my toddlers and my preschoolers, and there are days when I miss their little dimpled hands, their sweet lisps, and the way they fit into my arms, but while those days were sweet and precious, they were exhausting and at times mind numbing. The truth is that I am much more wired to be a mother of older kids than littles. I enjoy my pre-teen and teenagers so much more. I like who my boys are, and I enjoy their company so very much.  (And it doesn’t hurt that they can make me dinner… )

Now, the question is what will I think of my adult children? And will he do this for me  again in ten more years….?

Only time (and more blogging) will tell.

 

Much love friends,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed under: Blog, Family Tagged: featured, Motherhood, Raising Greers