Tosh Berman's Blog, page 141
April 14, 2019
Sunday, April 14, 2019
Good things happened this week, but the passing of Gary Stewart put a dark cloud over many people. Suicide is dumb when young, but when someone my age commits suicide, it becomes a profound gesture that is scary, depressing, and of course, frustrating. Especially when someone like Gary, who seems to be well-loved by everyone in the record geek community. For those who don't know, Gary Stewart is very much part of the Rhino Records world. A visionary fellow, a man of taste, and used his talent to make and distribute fantastic music. His death disturbs me. I can sense others feel the same way.
Today, I went to the Printed Matter Art Book Fair at Geffen MOCA in Little Tokyo. My well-known secret is that I'm very uncomfortable in large rooms, such as at Geffen MOCA. I have to keep moving from getting dizzy. The thing is with museum places; it is very much like a maze, or at the very least a room within a room. Different size cubicles and I feel like I'm being sucked into a void. There is a fear that I will not make it out. Alternatively, being trapped. I never look up to the ceiling, because I feel my knees are buckling, and about to fail me.
On the other hand, it's a terrific book fair. I didn't buy anything because I felt everything was too good. The energy in the rooms was ten maximum, and in actuality, I went twice to the festival. Gagosian Gallery had a room set up for artist Spencer Sweeney. He was making music directly into a 7-inch single using a record lathe. That was interesting of course, but also he had his favorite books displayed, including my dad's book "Semina Culture." It's an important festival, and one has to applaud Printed Matter to organize such a magnificent presentation.
Yesterday I spent the morning at the Los Angeles Times Book Festival, in which I was on a panel discussion on the subject matter of Los Angeles, which is a vast subject matter for a discussion that can only last for an hour. The dialog was between yours truly, Lynell George, David Kipen, Lili Anolik, and the moderator was William Deverell. My only regret is that it couldn't last for three hours or so. Lili wrote a book on Eve Babitz, and her subject matter is close to my book "Tosh," but I don't mention Eve. Still, when I did the reading of my book, I focused on the chapter on Marcel Duchamp's retrospective at the Pasadena Museum, which took place in 1963. Eve is famous (besides her writing) for posing in the nude and playing chess with Duchamp. She couldn't go to the opening of the exhibition because her boyfriend, Walter Hopps was with his wife at the show. So, as a revenge of sorts, she posed naked with Marcel. My experiences at the time were that I did go to the opening and met Duchamp. Although I did not take my clothes off to play chess or with the bicycle wheel that was displayed so beautifully in the show. I met Eve numerous times when I was a child and teenager, but those were just fleeting moments.
April 11, 2019
Thursday, April 11, 2019
This morning a friend sent me this image of my books being displayed at the Topanga Canyon Library. When I lived in the canyon from 1966 to 1977, we didn't have a library. Or, I have no memory of a library. When I look it up online, I was very happy to see a clean well-lighted structure that is the library. As anyone who read my book, TOSH one would gather that I had a troubled relationship with Topanga. To this day, and it has been a few decades now, I cannot bring myself to go into the canyon. There are memories while writing my memoir, but to actually go back to the physical space or area that is Topanga, is totally unthinkable. It has nothing to do with the people who live there now, but I feel that there are feelings trapped in the canyon area, and I can pick up on its sadness. Even going to the San Fernando Valley gives me an odd feeling of depression. Topanga, I feel is because of its location, but the Valley reminds me of the sad times I had at Parkman Junior High School, and I lived that life already, and I just can't go back.
I think it is healthy to live in the moment, but alas, I tend to live in my past. My yesterday is more exciting than the present, and as for tomorrow, who knows? I spend a great deal of time listening to music and reading. As of ten minutes ago, I finished reading ""The Possible Life of Christian Boltanski" which is a conversation between Boltanski and Catherine Grenier, regarding his somewhat strange early life, as well as his artworks and installations. During World War II, his father, who he thought disappeared from home, actually was living under the floorboards. Boltanski also never left home and very much stayed by his mother, until in his early 30s. He even played with toy soldiers up to that age! A remarkable and strange life. I don't know his art that well, but I find the works intriguing and somewhat sad. He's married to the fellow French artist Annette Messager, and I see similar aesthetic that they both share in their art.
Yesterday I got an album in the mail by Egisto Macchi called "Contemporanea." For the past year, I have been obsessing over the music made by Macchi. As far as I know, most of his recordings is for music Libraries, meaning that he does music for a company who then rents or lease's soundtrack music to film producers. I'm not sure if they do this in the United States, but they do so in Europe and in the U.K. Macchi is similar to Ennio Morricone (they're friends, and they make music together), but like the Maestro, his music is highly melodic as well as experimental. I have been slowly collecting his library music soundtracks, but it's expensive. "Contemporanea" is strings or small orchestration with incredible percussion. He's a genius at mixing natural instrument sounds with electronics or percussion. I love his work.
Early this year I read "Rebel Rebel" by Chris O'Leary which is a deep read into every David Bowie song. That was volume 1, I'm now reading "Ashes to Ashes: the Songs of David Bowie-1976-2016" volume 2. A nerdy book perhaps, but O'Leary is an excellent writer, and these two books are a page turner. For Bowie fans, this may be the book on the genius. Later tonight I'm going out tonight to hear music. I'll be around.
April 10, 2019
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
It's the middle-of-the-week, and I'm feeling the time is slipping between my fingers. I have been editing my journals of 2014, which is part fiction, and non-fiction, with observations on various aspects of culture. I also wrote a piece on music publisher/manager Irving Mills, who worked with Duke Ellington among other jazz greats of the early 1930s and so forth. So it has been a productive week so far, but I have this feeling that I'm missing something urgent, and I just can't place my finger on it. It's a time like this when I need to sink my body into a tub of hot water. Alas, I did that already this morning.
Lun*na and I watched this film last night "The Great Silence" (Il Grande Silenzio) and it's a remarkable film on many levels. For one, the hero dies at the end of the film, and the bad guy wins. Klaus Kinski plays the bad bounty hunter who is a ruthless murderer. Jean-Louis Trintignant is the voiceless gunslinger who is on the side of the persecuted outlaws. The ending of the film depressed me, which caused some disturbing dreams throughout the night. Also, it was extremely windy, and I was hearing sounds that I never heard before in Los Angeles. Banging, and just the whistle of the wind itself. It fits perfectly with the mood of "The Great Silence." The film is directed by Sergio Corbucci.
The night before we watched Dennis Hopper's "The Last Movie" which is sort of a home movie of Topanga life, but of course, filmed in Peru. I have seen this film at least twice, but some time ago. So, watching it now, especially after my memoir came out (TOSH: Growing Up In Wallace Berman's World) it is really a visual and moving scrapbook of my life during those years, which is the early 1970s. It is truly the last movie because I feel everything afterward had changed into another era. Dennis wasn't the Easy Rider Dennis anymore, and in many ways, "The Last Movie" put a wrench in his career as a Hollywood film director. Dennis was never an artist filmmaker, like Bruce Conner or even my dad, but more of a mainstream visionary who built a rope bridge between the two cultures. One is old studio Hollywood, and the other was 'new' Hollywood, and after the Last Movie, it went back to just the old world. There were blimps here and there, but nevertheless, things went back to the old life.
Today, I visit my Uncle and go to a work-related party for the upcoming Printed Matter Art Book Fair, which will take place at MOCA.
April 8, 2019
April 7, 2019
Sunday, April 7, 2019
Today is Sunday. The artwork above is "Sol lustitiae" (Sun of Righteousness) a work of art by Albrecht Düer, sometime in the years 1400-1500. It is a work regarding Sunday. I woke up in my normal manner by finishing off Francis Ponge's "Nioque of the Early-Spring" a book of poems regarding weather in his neck of the woods in France. Both naturalistic, but with political overtures as well. An interesting book to read in a hot bath. I have a problem with my left shoulder where it's stiff and sore. Never painful, but just feels awkward when I lean against it in bed, or if I move too quickly after stretching the arm. It feels like arthritis, but how would I know that? My Japanese friends tell me it's just the sign of old age, and that eventually it will disappear, but will also come back. And that is the total truth.
Throughout the day I have to work on the finishing touches on my essay for "Please Kill Me" website. I'm doing a series of articles/pieces on the role of the music manager. There are plenty of books on the subject matter, but I'm trying to find obscure figures in that field that needs more proper attention. It's a fun writing and research project for me. Beyond that, I'm doing my mom's laundry. Her washing machine and dryer is downstairs from her duplex apartment and the stairs are hard to manage while carrying laundry. I assist her by doing the work at home and then bringing it to her the next day. It's the least I can do for her! Beyond that, I really enjoy doing the laundry. Both mine and hers. My wife and I do separate laundry duties, but often she would take charge of the situation, and do my mom's laundry as well as folding it up and putting it in a large bag. A skill I lack (out of many) is properly folding the clothes. That, like my attempts at hairdressing, is doomed to fail.
Beyond the writing and laundry issues, I find Sundays to be stressful. I feel I need to relax, and I often think of going to the cinema, but I can't find a movie I want to watch. I just did a podcast with a filmmaker Jeff Mizushima Here and we discuss the nature of cinema viewing, and how it is different in each medium. Personally, I love going to the movies, but the cost of the ticket, plus the low quality of a lot of the mainstream films is a real downer for me. Also, there are theaters I like to go to, but they are at a distance, especially since I don't drive. More likely I will go to Skylight Books and let my brain wander among the bookshelves.
"Tosh Talks" first Podcast: with guest Jeff Mizushima
This is my first podcast production. I'm still doing "Tosh Talks" on YouTube, but wanted to try out another medium, and not worry about the visual aspect of chatting to you - the audience. Here, Jeff and I discuss the issues of film viewing. And making various lists of film watching. Do listen! -Tosh Berman
April 6, 2019
April 5, 2019
Friday, April 5, 2019
People who know or think they know me will be surprised to know that I never heard a Charles Mingus album until today. I went to Rockaway Records on Glendale Blvd, to purchase a British Electric Foundation (BEF) album, and by chance, I came upon Mingus' "Oh Yeah." I have read that one of David Bowie's favorite albums was "Oh Yeah," and I'm starting a collection of 'Bowie's favorite albums.' To know an artist you must know what that artist have read or listened to, or both. I played "Oh Yeah" twice in a row and found it to be incredibly charming. I suspect that it's an unusual Mingus album because he sings on it, and plays the piano. His main instrument (at least to the general public) is the bass. I'm aware that he has put out an album called "Mingus Plays Piano," which is him improvising on the keyboard. That should be an interesting listening experience.
For the Please Kill Me website please kill me.com I'm writing a series on various music managers and how they influence or even made 'music culture.' I'm doing all the obvious rock n' roll managers but will dwell into some of the more obscure hustlers and shakers that made a huge contribution to the music (and film) world. I always had the obsession to see the Wizard at work behind the curtain, so this is something I'm looking forward to. One of the key inspirations is a book by Johnny Rogan called "Starmakers & Svengalis" The History of British Pop Management." In this book, he interviews the major managers of various rock n' roll figures and it is endlessly fascinating. After I complete the rock n' roll managers, I'm thinking of doing a series on book publishers, who are equally interesting, and of course, all become tastemakers of sorts.
Very rarely do I mention politics in my diary or journal due that I find that subject matter distasteful. Not always, but since Trump became President, it seems such conversations become aimlessly inane. One thing he succeeds is to make politics into a vulgar spectacle. It has always been tasteless, even at its best times, but this is true now on a decadent level. To even comment on anything to do with that man becomes drawn into a level of stupidity that is hard to digest on an empty stomach. As a practice or even a skill, I refuse to read or listen to any of his speeches, or interviews. When I do read about his administration it has to be a critique or straight journalism. For one, whenever he opens his mouth a lie comes out, so therefore he's not a good source for information. The irony, of course, is that he himself is 'fake' media. He has nothing of value, and he cheapens the world around him. A horror show takes place on a daily basis, and I just refuse to watch the pornography he produces on a regular basis.
I'm feeling a touch under the weather. I hope nothing 'sick' comes my way. I want to stay busy by working.
April 4, 2019
Thursday, April 4, 2019
I woke up early to do an interview with J.C. for 'dublab.com, but as usual, I need at least two hours to get myself ready. When I open my eyes in the morning, it is usually coming from a dream state that is a borderline nightmare. Mostly I dream that I either live or sleep with numerous people. There's a bed of course, but I have to share it with numerous people. I'm usually living in a large home, that is neither Los Angeles, Tokyo or Paris. A combination of all three. I often walk around naked with the various people in the kitchen and living room. It's not exactly a party, but people were just living and doing their business. They never pay any attention to my nakedness, and I'm the only person to notice that this is an odd state of being. When I get back to bed, it's difficult to find a spot where I can lay down and sleep. I then wake up and start thinking about my interview for 'dublab.com.
After the interview, I went to my Uncle's house to discuss finances and him and his partner moving in with us shortly. Right now, we are preparing the studio apartment down below for both of them. Since my Uncle is a senior citizen, we have to think about attaching rails onto walls and remove a lot of the broken concrete that is in front of the entrance way. A lot of work. Still, we have a gentleman who can do the job, and on top of that, he sings loudly when working. A talented singer and I asked him why he didn't make a record. He is very religious, and he only sings in the church. He sings for him, which he points his finger toward the sky, and feels it's not right to commercialize his singing for profit.
I feel like a traveler. I walked around the lake this early evening, and it started to rain. I love taking long walks and exploring the moisture from above hitting me on the face. The new thing in my life today is that I'm starting to do podcasts. It will be "Tosh Talks," but audio. I will still do the YouTube shows as well, but I find it satisfying to do just an audio presentation. I can take my pants off while doing the show. Who will know?
"Flying Over Manhattan" by Tosh Berman
Whenever i am in Manhattan I feel blue. Walking around (but not on or in) Time Square, I walk with no sense of aim or direction. I enjoy watching people going to the theater, and knowing that maybe they will see something that will touch them. I am walking, but I feel like I am low-flying the streets. Also sadness over comes me when I am walking around West 52nd or West 53rd Street. Knowing that there are no more jazz clubs there anymore. - Tosh Berman Music by Tosh Berman
