G. Eric Francis's Blog, page 7
May 23, 2013
A Dark, Dark and What The Fudge Confection
Friends:
I want all of you to take a moment.
Just a brief moment....especially if you have chosen to read my little bit of scripting.
If you are at a point in your life where you can enjoy friends, your family, vacations, have a retirement plan, accept the fact that you are aging, blessed with determination to make it no matter what...
...say thanks to whatever god you choose to worship, because I am truly jealous of you.
If you know in your heart that if you lost EVERYTHING...home, property, possessions, whatever...and you would shed a tear, dust yourself off, and go get it...then you are one of the ones who were brought up right...and I salute you.
For those folks who like myself have a special needs child, and are able to get what the child needs so he or she actually has a chance to prosper in this fucked up world...well, awesome.
Those same folks who have those rough times when that child's wiring has a major backlash...and you can not give up...well, I wish I had ur strength.
It is a dark time...temporary, perhaps, but it is dark right now.
People are good at giving advice when they are up...at times I wonder if that advice is something they follow if they ever suffer a tremendous loss.
I guess that is the true testimony of their spirit if they can.
Before I go, I remember when I was in college...whenever I was in a bad place, I'd pull out my boom box with cd player (yes, I am old) and blast "Purple Rain" over and over again.
It is one of those tunes that sounds hopeful, yet sad at the same time.
It's rough to not be dug by folks...used to it though. Life is truly about choice, isn't it?
I am glad for those who have chosen wisely.
I want all of you to take a moment.
Just a brief moment....especially if you have chosen to read my little bit of scripting.
If you are at a point in your life where you can enjoy friends, your family, vacations, have a retirement plan, accept the fact that you are aging, blessed with determination to make it no matter what...
...say thanks to whatever god you choose to worship, because I am truly jealous of you.
If you know in your heart that if you lost EVERYTHING...home, property, possessions, whatever...and you would shed a tear, dust yourself off, and go get it...then you are one of the ones who were brought up right...and I salute you.
For those folks who like myself have a special needs child, and are able to get what the child needs so he or she actually has a chance to prosper in this fucked up world...well, awesome.
Those same folks who have those rough times when that child's wiring has a major backlash...and you can not give up...well, I wish I had ur strength.
It is a dark time...temporary, perhaps, but it is dark right now.
People are good at giving advice when they are up...at times I wonder if that advice is something they follow if they ever suffer a tremendous loss.
I guess that is the true testimony of their spirit if they can.
Before I go, I remember when I was in college...whenever I was in a bad place, I'd pull out my boom box with cd player (yes, I am old) and blast "Purple Rain" over and over again.
It is one of those tunes that sounds hopeful, yet sad at the same time.
It's rough to not be dug by folks...used to it though. Life is truly about choice, isn't it?
I am glad for those who have chosen wisely.
April 15, 2013
Boom, Boom, Let's shake The Human Room
There was a big boom in Beantown today.
And I saw a lot of blood all over the streets.
I saw a dude in a wheelchair with what was left of his tibia hanging out in the dust and the sun.
A lot of "what the fuck"s" flew out as I spent part of my evening watching the media, as is their want, play explosions over and over again.
And somewhere on the planet, some sick person or persons watched it all, and smiled.
A friend of mine said she wishes we can reboot it all.
It is sad that we are not like a computer....when there is a virus, you get what is needed to be done and remove that bitch.
But when the virus is ourselves, we have to want to be cured, and a simple reboot will not suffice.
Man, I wish we weren't this stupid.
It is like when I tell my now pre-teen son, who is beginning to listen to his private parts and talk to girls. You see, he doesn't listen to what I or his mother says, a permanent "y'all don't know shit" look on his face.
It'll get worse, from what my other friends with grown kids tell me.
But we are all like that petulant child, aren't we? We all figure that we know what is right or wrong, who is cool or not cool, who is an embarrassment and who fits into our "inner circle."
We don't talk anymore...we do the social media, superhighway shuffle, instead of sitting on some porch somewhere (or, in my history, a "stoop" and just chat.
The forgotten art form...much like it is in the United States' capital.
Like a child who doesn't listen.
Some kids in Beantown heard a big boom...got too close to it.
One, to my understanding, when to heaven because they got to close to the sound of the boom.
I still see that tibia sticking out of that poor soul's leg.
The hatred that is the virus is still rampant, and growing stronger.
When I go get bread, will I come back and be proud of my son talking to a girl, despite that petulance he displays at times?
Will he be able to grow up...or I grow old to see him grow up, with all of my body parts and facilities intact?
Boom, Boom.
It gets louder...and we never know when the next drum will sound.
We need to listen to a different tune in the human room.
But, as it has been for thousands of years, we only hear what song we wish to listen to.
And I saw a lot of blood all over the streets.
I saw a dude in a wheelchair with what was left of his tibia hanging out in the dust and the sun.
A lot of "what the fuck"s" flew out as I spent part of my evening watching the media, as is their want, play explosions over and over again.
And somewhere on the planet, some sick person or persons watched it all, and smiled.
A friend of mine said she wishes we can reboot it all.
It is sad that we are not like a computer....when there is a virus, you get what is needed to be done and remove that bitch.
But when the virus is ourselves, we have to want to be cured, and a simple reboot will not suffice.
Man, I wish we weren't this stupid.
It is like when I tell my now pre-teen son, who is beginning to listen to his private parts and talk to girls. You see, he doesn't listen to what I or his mother says, a permanent "y'all don't know shit" look on his face.
It'll get worse, from what my other friends with grown kids tell me.
But we are all like that petulant child, aren't we? We all figure that we know what is right or wrong, who is cool or not cool, who is an embarrassment and who fits into our "inner circle."
We don't talk anymore...we do the social media, superhighway shuffle, instead of sitting on some porch somewhere (or, in my history, a "stoop" and just chat.
The forgotten art form...much like it is in the United States' capital.
Like a child who doesn't listen.
Some kids in Beantown heard a big boom...got too close to it.
One, to my understanding, when to heaven because they got to close to the sound of the boom.
I still see that tibia sticking out of that poor soul's leg.
The hatred that is the virus is still rampant, and growing stronger.
When I go get bread, will I come back and be proud of my son talking to a girl, despite that petulance he displays at times?
Will he be able to grow up...or I grow old to see him grow up, with all of my body parts and facilities intact?
Boom, Boom.
It gets louder...and we never know when the next drum will sound.
We need to listen to a different tune in the human room.
But, as it has been for thousands of years, we only hear what song we wish to listen to.
March 12, 2013
Boom boom boom, as well as other nonsense
2013.
Sorry I've been scarce...been dealing with drama more than most people's mamas lately. I started writing this flotsam some 5 years or so ago, and about the only thing that has changed is the size of my waistline.
That's a bummer.
I will say, however, that just like my health (I am a diabetic now...sticking w/o the licking...if u have a dirty mind, u'll get the reference), things haven't necessarily gotten better on this mud-ball filled with (supposedly) intelligent life forms.
My partner fo' life (NWA, what?) was reading to me a story about a dad and his lil' 6 mo old getting blown away by some vagina drip...for apparently no reason.
Now, one can assume this was some sort of gang initiation (what happened to a good old fashion hazing? I mean, make the dude grab a piece of shit out of the toilet and squeeze, ala like "School Daze"), but the fact remains that 2 people are dead.
I am trying to put together in my head why one will fill the need to put 3 bullets into the body of a 6 month old kid.
I guess that whole "goo goo, ga ga, poop poop, piss piss" witness thing would of sent that dude away for 25 to life.
Don't worry, I am not going to go off on a tangent on gun control. Now, I feel that if you have a pistol, a shotgun, a good knife and a Louisville slugger, u should be able to defend yourself. I grew up in The Bronx in the 1970's and 80's, and well, the need for semi-automatic rifles wasn't necessary....a gun killed many a latino/brother w/o the need of convenience.
I get sad, tho, cuz we are truly some stupid mother fornicators.
The U.S. can't get out of its own way government wise. I was looking for work, and about 10% of the jobs were offering minimum wage. Now, I don't know about you, but while I understand the fact that if you gotta start over, you gotta start over.
But that type of shit is like starting over...in ur mom's fallopian tubes, and ur pop just spurted his olympic swimmers w/a DNA cocktail type of start over.
Shit is rough the world over...and we worry about the wrong things, fight over things that basic intelligence and compromise should be able to fix, and just wait to screw over the next person so WE can GET over.
But I keep coming back to the fact that a 6 month old kid got 3 bullets...and died the next day.
Babies.
I don't know if any of y'all (whoever still reads this shit) remember the MTV commercial...it starts in a nursery and ends in a cemetery. The voice over says (and I am paraphrasing from memory...this was a quarter century ago):
"We all start and end up in the same place....totally equal. What you do between these times is up to you."
That commercial always stuck with me....it covered racism, ignorance, and differences in general.
I wish I could show that the the U.S. Congress.
But that's the wonderful and unfortunate thing that makes human beings, well, human.
Once we are convinced we are right, it is pretty difficult to change our minds...or beliefs.
I wonder if the kid who shot the baby believed in what he was did was right?
Sigh....I need to go back and write my 2nd book. I think too much.
Sorry I've been scarce...been dealing with drama more than most people's mamas lately. I started writing this flotsam some 5 years or so ago, and about the only thing that has changed is the size of my waistline.
That's a bummer.
I will say, however, that just like my health (I am a diabetic now...sticking w/o the licking...if u have a dirty mind, u'll get the reference), things haven't necessarily gotten better on this mud-ball filled with (supposedly) intelligent life forms.
My partner fo' life (NWA, what?) was reading to me a story about a dad and his lil' 6 mo old getting blown away by some vagina drip...for apparently no reason.
Now, one can assume this was some sort of gang initiation (what happened to a good old fashion hazing? I mean, make the dude grab a piece of shit out of the toilet and squeeze, ala like "School Daze"), but the fact remains that 2 people are dead.
I am trying to put together in my head why one will fill the need to put 3 bullets into the body of a 6 month old kid.
I guess that whole "goo goo, ga ga, poop poop, piss piss" witness thing would of sent that dude away for 25 to life.
Don't worry, I am not going to go off on a tangent on gun control. Now, I feel that if you have a pistol, a shotgun, a good knife and a Louisville slugger, u should be able to defend yourself. I grew up in The Bronx in the 1970's and 80's, and well, the need for semi-automatic rifles wasn't necessary....a gun killed many a latino/brother w/o the need of convenience.
I get sad, tho, cuz we are truly some stupid mother fornicators.
The U.S. can't get out of its own way government wise. I was looking for work, and about 10% of the jobs were offering minimum wage. Now, I don't know about you, but while I understand the fact that if you gotta start over, you gotta start over.
But that type of shit is like starting over...in ur mom's fallopian tubes, and ur pop just spurted his olympic swimmers w/a DNA cocktail type of start over.
Shit is rough the world over...and we worry about the wrong things, fight over things that basic intelligence and compromise should be able to fix, and just wait to screw over the next person so WE can GET over.
But I keep coming back to the fact that a 6 month old kid got 3 bullets...and died the next day.
Babies.
I don't know if any of y'all (whoever still reads this shit) remember the MTV commercial...it starts in a nursery and ends in a cemetery. The voice over says (and I am paraphrasing from memory...this was a quarter century ago):
"We all start and end up in the same place....totally equal. What you do between these times is up to you."
That commercial always stuck with me....it covered racism, ignorance, and differences in general.
I wish I could show that the the U.S. Congress.
But that's the wonderful and unfortunate thing that makes human beings, well, human.
Once we are convinced we are right, it is pretty difficult to change our minds...or beliefs.
I wonder if the kid who shot the baby believed in what he was did was right?
Sigh....I need to go back and write my 2nd book. I think too much.
December 15, 2012
Forgetful and Sadness - The Musical
I have a problem, and I wonder if anyone cares enough to help.
It's been a sad 24 hours plus here in the United States.
I am sure that folks have hugged their kids, uncles and aunts have hugged their nieces and nephews, and so on and so forth.
Then, once the funerals are over, the President makes his visit, and the media gets bored of exploiting the shit out of this...
...we will go back to normal, until this happens again.
I have spent the afternoon watching banter btw a couple of associates of mine, discussing the pros and cons of what should of been done, gun control, no gun control, it won't stop anyone, it would, and so on.
Another friend of mine (god bless him I am fond of him, but sometimes...) sarcastically mocked the gun control issue in reference to the 22 stabbing incident in...China, I believe.
Guns. Weapons Bullets. Crazy mother fuckers who got issues, that instead of offing themselves (note, not condoning suicide, but hey, if u r that pissed, don't take folks with u don't the toilet), they want to become famous or some shit.
I have a degree in Journalism Studies..."Syracuse" stamped across it, even tho I have stepped on the campus of Syracuse ONCE.
The media is having a field day, talking to the kids (i.e. "witnesses") and playing that soft music to elicit emotions from its viewers.
It is all a big show...a production...everything, from Fox News to how we feel at home.
And I know what we feel at home is real. I know the sadness for all that were lost yesterday is palatable.
Hell, I've shed a few tears...couldn't even read the list of the victims, knowing most of them were under 10.
But...
Columbine sucked. The Denver Movie Theater Sucked. Those folks are dead, too.
My associates had valid points during their arguments...but I believe, like my other friend, are missing the point.
The human race has horrible short term memory. We are self centered sons of bitches who only look out for ourselves most days. And, despite the sadness we feel today, as well as all the other times this has happened (and will feel again), we just don't get it.
Or don't care to get it.
I fell into the trap w/my gun control rant (which lead to a debate btw my associates), when instead I should of said...
"Why can't a supposed intelligent species find a way to reduce this from happening?"
Note, I said REDUCE. There will always be crazy mother fuckers who can get a hold of a gun. The NRA, tree huggers, or whomever side you get on, even if they all got together and sung "We Are The World...just learn to duck" still won't stop this from happening again.
Because we are animals by nature...it just depends on how evolved the group u r hanging with is.
I guess that is the real tragedy.
Just like these words.
Some may read it and say "there he goes trying to get attention again."
Or, it may make a few think.
But, like most words, this diatribe will be forgotten.
And what happened in CT will happen again someplace else...hopefully not anywhere near where you or I live.
I guess my question is this...where are we when a 20 year old kid can get a weapon that only folks who wear camouflage supposed to have?
And why can't we learn the lines when the same movie keeps being played?
Next Saturday, if the Mayans are right, it may not matter.
But, I am guessing we won't be as "lucky."
I guess my problem that I keep hoping for the best from people.
It's been a sad 24 hours plus here in the United States.
I am sure that folks have hugged their kids, uncles and aunts have hugged their nieces and nephews, and so on and so forth.
Then, once the funerals are over, the President makes his visit, and the media gets bored of exploiting the shit out of this...
...we will go back to normal, until this happens again.
I have spent the afternoon watching banter btw a couple of associates of mine, discussing the pros and cons of what should of been done, gun control, no gun control, it won't stop anyone, it would, and so on.
Another friend of mine (god bless him I am fond of him, but sometimes...) sarcastically mocked the gun control issue in reference to the 22 stabbing incident in...China, I believe.
Guns. Weapons Bullets. Crazy mother fuckers who got issues, that instead of offing themselves (note, not condoning suicide, but hey, if u r that pissed, don't take folks with u don't the toilet), they want to become famous or some shit.
I have a degree in Journalism Studies..."Syracuse" stamped across it, even tho I have stepped on the campus of Syracuse ONCE.
The media is having a field day, talking to the kids (i.e. "witnesses") and playing that soft music to elicit emotions from its viewers.
It is all a big show...a production...everything, from Fox News to how we feel at home.
And I know what we feel at home is real. I know the sadness for all that were lost yesterday is palatable.
Hell, I've shed a few tears...couldn't even read the list of the victims, knowing most of them were under 10.
But...
Columbine sucked. The Denver Movie Theater Sucked. Those folks are dead, too.
My associates had valid points during their arguments...but I believe, like my other friend, are missing the point.
The human race has horrible short term memory. We are self centered sons of bitches who only look out for ourselves most days. And, despite the sadness we feel today, as well as all the other times this has happened (and will feel again), we just don't get it.
Or don't care to get it.
I fell into the trap w/my gun control rant (which lead to a debate btw my associates), when instead I should of said...
"Why can't a supposed intelligent species find a way to reduce this from happening?"
Note, I said REDUCE. There will always be crazy mother fuckers who can get a hold of a gun. The NRA, tree huggers, or whomever side you get on, even if they all got together and sung "We Are The World...just learn to duck" still won't stop this from happening again.
Because we are animals by nature...it just depends on how evolved the group u r hanging with is.
I guess that is the real tragedy.
Just like these words.
Some may read it and say "there he goes trying to get attention again."
Or, it may make a few think.
But, like most words, this diatribe will be forgotten.
And what happened in CT will happen again someplace else...hopefully not anywhere near where you or I live.
I guess my question is this...where are we when a 20 year old kid can get a weapon that only folks who wear camouflage supposed to have?
And why can't we learn the lines when the same movie keeps being played?
Next Saturday, if the Mayans are right, it may not matter.
But, I am guessing we won't be as "lucky."
I guess my problem that I keep hoping for the best from people.
December 11, 2012
A word that within a word that's a word
...the word "luck."
I am guilty of using this word more than most. It usually has the word "bad" in front of it.
I have been accused (and rightly so) of having a shitty attitude when it comes to my views of life. And well, there are always right and wrong on both side of the dispute.
I would say that, for about 23 years of my life, I was EXTREMELY negative. Never was the popular kid, the most handsome, the coolest, blah, blah, blah. I was the square peg in the round holes, to be sure.
I eventually figured out that I wasn't a bad guy, and for a brief moment in time, folks liked me.
But my "luck?" Nah, that has always been fairly shitty...shitty jobs, semi crappy relationships, and so on.
But what is "luck?"
Steve Jobs wasn't "lucky" when he became one of the great innovators of the 20th and early 21st centuries.
Warren Buffet didn't scratch a lottery ticket to become one rich SOB.
I have a buddy named Erik, who isn't rich (at least last time I checked...hmm) didn't stumble upon a great wife, became a good dad, man of God, and raised what I teasingly call "the Latin Brady Bunch."
It wasn't "luck." They earned it.
Now...that doesn't mean that there are some folks who just seem to b f'd in this world...no matter how much they try.
I and my wife, despite all of our good fortune (and yes, despite my bitching at times, I am aware that I could be WAY worse off than I am, if it wasn't for the few who get it and watch my back).
But I have seen many poor people (and not broke...broke and "poor" are two different things) who are happy as shit...and I have seen many people with paper who kill themselves (see the recent NFL stories).
So what is "luck?"
I believe that God, well, just decides what pathway u r to walk while u r vertical and ventilating.
Some have the internal fortitude to become the Buffets and the Jobs of the world.
Others...well, they have to deal with what "luck" is handed to them. How they do so determines another word that irritates me...
...the level of "happiness."
I am guilty of using this word more than most. It usually has the word "bad" in front of it.
I have been accused (and rightly so) of having a shitty attitude when it comes to my views of life. And well, there are always right and wrong on both side of the dispute.
I would say that, for about 23 years of my life, I was EXTREMELY negative. Never was the popular kid, the most handsome, the coolest, blah, blah, blah. I was the square peg in the round holes, to be sure.
I eventually figured out that I wasn't a bad guy, and for a brief moment in time, folks liked me.
But my "luck?" Nah, that has always been fairly shitty...shitty jobs, semi crappy relationships, and so on.
But what is "luck?"
Steve Jobs wasn't "lucky" when he became one of the great innovators of the 20th and early 21st centuries.
Warren Buffet didn't scratch a lottery ticket to become one rich SOB.
I have a buddy named Erik, who isn't rich (at least last time I checked...hmm) didn't stumble upon a great wife, became a good dad, man of God, and raised what I teasingly call "the Latin Brady Bunch."
It wasn't "luck." They earned it.
Now...that doesn't mean that there are some folks who just seem to b f'd in this world...no matter how much they try.
I and my wife, despite all of our good fortune (and yes, despite my bitching at times, I am aware that I could be WAY worse off than I am, if it wasn't for the few who get it and watch my back).
But I have seen many poor people (and not broke...broke and "poor" are two different things) who are happy as shit...and I have seen many people with paper who kill themselves (see the recent NFL stories).
So what is "luck?"
I believe that God, well, just decides what pathway u r to walk while u r vertical and ventilating.
Some have the internal fortitude to become the Buffets and the Jobs of the world.
Others...well, they have to deal with what "luck" is handed to them. How they do so determines another word that irritates me...
...the level of "happiness."
November 20, 2012
Ho, Ho, Ho, the kneel down, swallow, and blow
I dig it...I like what folks are saying about the day. I personally don't have a problem with either argument, especially the whole "useless crap" ideology.
Now, as I am an electronics geek w/an addiction to new tech, if I can get it cheap, I am all for it.
But damn, the fact that this time of year brings out the UGLY out of mofo's, I can understand why folks rather shop at local shops, give simple things and well, not spoil their kids rotten w/the latest from from Cupertino, or "I Got Busted for being gay which isn't a big deal but the fact i was kicking the backdoor ballistics while on COMPANY email cost me nearly 30 years of hard work and now my muppet will sound f'd up like Kermit Elmo."
I guess the only beef I have with the opinion that we are a capitalistic country is, well...
...where have ya been? Black Friday/Thursday only points out the obvious. It is what it is. IF folks want to spoil their kids or themselves, it's their right. We've been about the bottom dollar since the big GD in the 1920's. Let folks b, if that is what they wanna do. I think the simple fact that anyone thought about me for ANY gift, especially as I get older, is bitchin/assholistic (I do try not to sexist). Now don't get me wrong...if I buy u a $300 gift and u flip me back a pack of Juicy Fruit, well....
...don't expect fruit cake next year, damn it.
But if I know it is all u could get, and u got it anyway, I'd treasure that more than my latest "i"-something.
It is the season of giving...
...just keep that nasty ass bug that is causing u to drip green crap like mistletoe 2 urself, K?
November 12, 2012
Why I wish the world was more like Michael Jackson
Now, I don't miss the broken, drug confused, money blowing, ended up destroying himself Michael Jackson.
That dude was well, just fucking sad. June of 2009 broke my heart...not only because he was gone, but the way he absolutely went out like a bitch.
Now...the 1980's MJ...you know, the one who was still identifiable as a person of color, the Gheri Curl dripping, white speckled glove wearin', moonwalking and stopped the world one night in 1983, launching an era of dominance not seen since Elvis' heyday doing wunderkind that, well, did something that no one ever did b4 him (or since).
He made white kids, black kids, Asian kids, Indian kids, Jewish kids, blind kids, special need kids, and hell, anyone who had a brain, heart, a pair of good ears, and so forth...
...dance together.
Play together.
Sing together, even if they were off-key, not caring if the person next to them was a different race, culture, bank account level, or whatever difference. You slapped on "Thriller", and that kid who would of never spoken to before simply nodded with a smile on their face.
They got it...they had that same red, zippered all over the place jacket you had in the closet (if you were lucky enough to get one).
You knew that that bitch Billy Jean wasn't his lover...and the kid was definitely not his fucking son.
(Yeah, I am cursing a lot, but let me flow for a few more minutes, and u'll c why a am a little fired up on this post).
Michael J used music to do what Martin Luther King couldn't do...he was able, even during the length of a 4 minute on average song, to make people just act like...well, people.
Then, I look at my society...my world, my country,
Some folks feel that we are headed to doomsday.
Some feel that we are OK.
Some feel like they have been lied to.
Some say it is my way or the highway.
All are steadily pointing fingers at each other, without, I don't know, listening to the beat.
We are sort of like those zombies from the "Thriller" video (note, IMHO, still the greatest video ever made).
Listen to the beat...see if you can find the common chord that all those people from all over the world felt...each nodding in rhythm in unison, understanding what it was, and for a minute, finding something that is so rare these days.
Some common ground.
So, the music stopped for Michael Joseph Jackson on June 25, 2009, much like his heart did in his room.
Everything in music is processed now, for the specific reason of making a quick buck, instead of making those white kids, black kids, asian kids, blind kids, ugly kids, geeks, losers, popular dudes and gals, and everyone in between nod in unison, saying "shit, that's a good song."
I don't think MJJ realized how powerful he truly was when he was in his heyday.
It is just too bad that the possibility that we all could find somewhere to meet in the proverbial middle, no matter what package (or what is in the package) we are wrapped in.
Sha'mon...
daggone it.
November 5, 2012
Sad and the decent cry for all
I wanted to take a moment to. well, point out things that makes me a little sad. In the last hour or so, I have become a bit melancholy, pondering the year 1987, the last year where I truly didn't have much to worry about...
...even though, at the time, I thought my problems were the biggest in the world.
I was never popular, even tho for a brief respite in the 1990s, I was an accepted member of the "AOL Party Crowd". There is where I piled up the jokes, the lovers, a couple of drinks, and what I thought what I wanted at the time.
In the present, I just came back from dinner, and my wife was looking at her Facebook app, my son was playing with his android tablet, and the youngest member of the family was snoring because we slipped him a medically approved Mickey, in the hopes that he actually stayed asleep. I, well, I don't get invited to too many parties...well, none, actually.
I looked at myself in the mirror the other day, and for the first time, I noticed that I am beginning to, well, age. I mean, well, it beats the crap out of alternative, but well, it just sort of hit me a tad bit...hard.
It makes me think of the way I am so hard on my oldest...he's 10.
And all he does is sit in his room and rot his brain on video games.
I take them away, he drifts away in his imagination, has no friends, and is the most handsome hermit in history.
I am sad for him. I wish I had his looks, his intelligence, his charm...when he isn't afraid of everything.
I think about the relationship I had with my father...which wasn't a great one, sadly. He handled his business, took care of my brother and I, and we weren't hurting for anything.
But I am sad because, well, I would of traded in the watches, the Atari 2600, and so forth, just for a damn game of catch.
I am sitting here right now, watching "Dancing with the Stars" with my wife, and I remember that my buddy Steve asked if i misplaced my manhood.
I knew he was joking, so I laughed it off...but let's face it...not too many 250 lb (hey, I lost weight) black men watch folks do ballroom dancing and is entertained by that.
I am not sad by that commet...I am sad because, well, I was told the other day that I lost my supposed "ghetto card." Once again, a joke (and God knows I have had my fair share of inappropriate comments in 43 years), but I have heard that for about most of my life...it seems it is a crime to be blessed to have folks who made sure I was educated and, despite my crassness at times, have a semblance of class, without forgetting that he is Black in America...
...even tho America, by its current attitude, doesn't let me forget.
I miss...well...wait...I can't miss what never was. Folks, well, disagreeing without being hateful, a bit of basic human decency, and well, for gods sake, watching each others back.
A guy at an Office Depot, while I was looking for an upgrade for Jared's Nexus 7, allowed him to trade in his old one...even though it was past the return date, for the newer, bigger version.
No charge.
That was pretty cool...tried to impart the lesson on the boy.
Then, because he is a self centered kid at times, forgets to turn in his grandfather's picture for Veteran's Day because he "forgot."
If I told him I was buying him an iPad Mini at 4:17 if it rained, he wouldn't of forgotten that.
So I am sad for our spoiled youth.
I guess I am rattling on...I know there are folks who find my words, well, amusing, thoughtful, controversial, rude, tactless, and loudmouthed.
All true, probably.
But the biggest thing that makes me sad...beyond the lack of human contact, the fact that technology have permeated our lives so much that our kids forgot how to simply play, that there are good women out there in loveless marriages, men who don't appreciate their females, kids who don't have a damned clue what is important unless there is a text involved, and well, the fact that people are selfish sons/daughters of bitches/assholes...
...is that no one seems to care.
October 10, 2012
The Love Machine
I figured that if I came up with an exact figure, I'd get in trouble with the spouse.
Anywho, I was chatting with a dear friend, who is one of the classier ladies that I have met in my 40 plus years, and I asked her if she was dating anyone, since we haven't spoken in a minute or two. She shared with me about the horror of a first date she had recently, and after I chuckled for a moment, it made me think about the differences of opinion between men and women when it comes to the opposite sex.
Now, a good number of folks I know are married, have kids (some, such as another long time associate I spoke to recently, who has grown kids and is my age...lucky beeyotch...lol), and others skipped the kids train (double lucky beeyotches with a nice latte). Some marriages are awesome (long time, still romantic, blah blah blah), while others...well...maybe not so much.
But for my single friends...the ones who I have been lucky enough to hear about their adventures...well, let's just says that is is truly that the sexes are truly from a different planet.
Now, as that I hate stereotypes, please don't take it that I am grouping EVERYONE into one bunch. This is simply based upon my experiences, so let's leave it at that.
With that said...
...I find that women, well, even if they don't care to admit it, want a mix of that bad boy/prince charming/give me a couple of kids (if that is their inclination) in their lives. Now, based on how they grew up, they may have formed this image as a little girl, because their parents were good examples of such. Also, society sort of says to them "I want the big wedding with the awesome cake and cool first song and blah, blah blah."
Men...well...
"You must nail as much ass as possible, and if by some chance some girl actually makes you want to TRY to be a good man and settle down with that one piece of ass, awesome."
Now, as I said, this is just based on my own experience. My buddy, Erik, has been in a happy marriage for more than 2 decades. My best friend has been in one for 23 years. Men can do this.
However, the ladies...
...let's say in your youth, u get down with the FWB deal...I've noticed that as that you are emotional creatures, MOST I have encountered find that gets old fairly quickly. So you get to a point that, well, u want that awesome relationship.
Problem is, you find more un-popped kernels in the bag than the tasty fluffy ones.
So...and once again, from what I've seen, you end up in one of these types of situations...
1. U marry the wrong dude...the charming, smooth dude who gives u more shit than a fertilized farm, and then u find out too late he ain't the one..
2. U end up convinced all men are dogs, and don't trust any of 'em.
I know of several ladies who have found awesome dudes (after a few misteps)so the Loch Ness Monster actually exists.
But for those who may be in # 1...well...I guess I am of the mind that life is too damned short to waste.
I'll leave it at that.
As for the single ladies...a small observation on things, and the dealings with men.
Men are programmed to be relatively simple folk. Note, I didn't say stupid (even tho men have started, oh, 99% of the wars in the world's history. However, it was Eve who ate that damned apple...:) While we got the physical attributes, y'all got the common sense. If you are of the ones who have been burned by men...hate THOSE men, don't hate all. Jack A. Ass is the jerk, ain't got nothing to do with Tom B. Sweet who is trying to get you to go to dinner. I am not saying go in blindly...I am simply saying is that like when you go to bed and wake up, today is a new day, and yesterday is, well, yesterday.
For those single ladies who say "I don't need a man"....ok, fine. Maybe u need a woman (different licks for different chicks is cool with me). Or, u'd rather be alone...coolio. But, I guess I am of the belief that the good Lord/Buddha/Jehovah/Allah/ran out of deity names placed a man and a woman (or whatever your preference) to not spend this small space in history alone. I guess I find that...sad, cuz unless u were taught (not born) with bitterness and distrust in ur heart, something in this life had to make u that way.
Finally, I am of the belief of finding happy. I know I may not sound like it at times, but I know that we are all gonna die one of these days. Each minute is a blessing, even if it is a shitty minute. For my single friends out there who are still playing the field, enjoy it. Smile when some loser says "available" which actually means "free penis available." (It's a shame that generally women are just not that desperate; however, they have the market cornered on the one commodity that all men want). Don't get mad when ur date shows up in sweat pants and talks about his ex wife. Yes, these people are not for you, but each experience is a teacher. You have the power...use it, and wield it well.
As for those who found that good guy...APPRECIATE THEM. Guys won't admit it due to pride, but an occasional "ur pretty friggin' awesome" goes a long way. Guys, that goes for u 2. Women, whether they admit it or not, need to be told they are beautiful (even if they are truly looking tore up in the morning). Appreciate it if they do something out of the blue. And, relationships need to be "watered" (how does that Thompson commercial go..."feed your lawn...feed it!). I don't accept that just because u've been married for 18 million years that u settle into a groove. Don't give a shit if u have kids, either. This is how folks go looking for Burger King because McDonald's didn't come up with a new menu item. It ain't right...but it is real.
Oh, and for those who may not be where they want to be...don't be afraid to make that change, even if it hurts. It reminds me of what Erik Arroyo once said to me concerning my writing...
...don't wait until it is too late and say "what if."
Anyway, I gotta get back to my addiction.
Sigh...it's reality shows.
Look, what can I say...I like looking at forced situations where folks make fools of themselves.
Hey, never said I didn't have some bad habits.
October 8, 2012
The 2-way lifeway
I am...well, I was brought up in the church, but I have had very little faith over the past 2 decades...even though God (or something) continues to never to be late when I need help most. However, I curse, I look lustily at the opposite sex, and I tend to be self centered at times. However, I will do anything for a friend, listen to anyone's problems, and try to be the best human being I can.
However, if I died tonight, assuming everything my mother taught me, I'd go to hell.
It is a question that I ponder everyday...
I live near a cemetery...it is a constant reminder of my mortality. And I always think about that argument.
Was he right? Was my mother right.
And ultimately, what the f**k am I doing here?
