Gabe Redel's Blog: FRYING POTATOES BLOG, page 5

What I Have

What I Have
by Gabe Redel


I see around me,
at all four walls,
that the room is bare.
No artwork has been hung.
A couch nor a table
has been set.

I am in the room
telling myself
that the walls will soon be decorated
with paintings
and large photographs.

I say that not too long from now
and the corners will be pushed
with furniture.

Telling myself
what is sure to happen
makes me feel better
about not having.

And that is called hope
and that is what hope is worth.
It isn’t a plan.
It isn’t what I want.
It simply helps me enjoy
what I do not have.

Old Desk Chair

Old Desk Chair
by Gabe Redel


This old desk chair
has supported
many great ideas.
It has kept me comfortable
behind my work.

I’ve grown to accept it
for what it is
and it has forced my body
to take its shape.

But the years have weathered
my mind like it has
that old chair.

The finish is not clean.
The stitches have split
and the armrests have been
rubbed naked.

And I suppose
that is a lot like me.

I was once
a sharper version of myself.

People liked me in ways
that only a brand new chair
could produce.

I was firm and handsome
and ready to do my part
in the world.

The only trouble was
that I did not make people feel at ease
around me.
I did that to them.

They were afraid to scratch
my surface
and I was afraid to be scratched
for how it might look.

This new version of myself,
the version that is tattered
and worn,
is much softer now.
The sharp edges are gone.

I may not support a fine image
but I make people comfortable
to be near me.

More love is there now
and I am okay
with how people use me.
I am not afraid.

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Home

Home
by Gabe Redel


I could close my eyes
and get inside the door.
I can feel the paper
on the walls,
the bumps of the bedroom.
The smells are familiar.

I know what to do.
I’ve been there
for thousands of days.

I can relax.
I can talk about things
that will talk right along with me.

The doors open.
All the doors open
and I can reach in
and take what I like.

I sit with my feet up
and I lay my head on the blanket
that holds me together.

I feel it every time
I’m there.
It is everything
that is in me.
It is still there
and it protects my life.
It protects my happiness
and I wouldn’t know
who I was
without it.

I Need to Hear you Weep

I Need to Hear you Weep
by Gabe Redel


Dear beautiful woman,
inside and out,
I need to hear you weep.

I need to feel
what you are feeling.
I want what you have
when you talk about how one day
we may not get that letter
with our dad’s hand writing written in all caps
on the Christmas card he mails every year.

Let us hear you,
oh beautiful woman,
cry warm and gentle
over those who we will miss.

Save me from myself.
I need rescue.
Teach our children
to see what is right and kind.

Let the water
that rolls from your heart
show them the light
after the overcast of the sky breaks.

Oh beautiful woman,
inside and out,
I need you to help me remember
where my compassion hides.

I want to feel it.
I have to have its truth.
I don’t want only to think
that one day it would be nice
for me to be kind when I’m ready
on a day that sounds more like tomorrow.

Speedboat

Speedboat
by Gabe Redel


I see as I paddle
that many are speedboats
skipping across the water
like stones over a pond.

The majesty of the boat
against the wake that spills
from the curves of its hull
cannot be replicated from anything
other than what is made for power.

And if you put on
your white boat shoes
and cast off with the captain
surely you will have an exciting ride.

The wind pushing into your cheeks
and flowing across your brow;
the bouncing under your feet
and the opposition of the turns
will have you believing
that everything is perfect in that moment.

Many are speedboats
and they do not change.
It is inspiring
to be a speedboat,
but what happened to the rest
of the journey?

Where is the land
that talks casually about who you are?
What about the cool breeze of the patio
that holds thoughts of what you believe?

Where is the sand
that warms your body
with the truth about your home?

How do you not slow down
to understand
something that is as desirable
and interesting as you?

Fantasy

Fantasy
by Gabe Redel


You watch me
from across the room.
I’m always on your mind.

I see where you look.
I see that you desire me.

Won’t you let me listen to your words?
Your eyes are the only thing willing
to talk to me.

Far away
we are perfect for each other.
Close together
I’m the only person who would feel
it was perfect.

Only the thoughts make sense.
Only the sin is desirable.
White of the clouds
at the toe of the sea
under an arch of sunlight
standing hand in hand.

From across the room
we are married.
From where you stand
I am only a fantasy
that keeps you company
when you have nothing else.

Your Relationship with Exercise

Your Relationship with Exercise
by Gabe Redel


A lot of people say
that they hate exercise.
It often sounds like this,
“I hate exercise.”

You may hate it
but the truth is
if exercise were your boyfriend
he would have already taken you
to a five star restaurant.

He would have bought you diamond earrings.

He would have sent you flowers
at work and would have attached a little Teddy Bear
to an Edible Arrangements basket for you.

He would have already put aside
his idea of a great future so that
he could support your dreams.

And that’s true love.
You hate exercise
but exercise still loves you.

And you can count on that
because the evidence is strong.
Every time you exercise
you will get those flowers.
You will receive kisses.
You will be spoiled

with the benefits of health.
You will receive more strength,
leaner tissue, better functioning organs
and mental acuity.
You will have more energy
and less stress.

So before you tell exercise
how much you hate him
remember just how much he loves you.

And then remember to tell him that you love him too.
Because if you
start saying that you love exercise,
one day it might actually become a true statement.

And the longer you stay with exercise,
the better your relationship will become with him.

Hard Working Flower

Hard Working Flower
by Gabe Redel


This flower
doesn’t have time
to be colorful.
It’s focus
is to grow taller.

All day long
it looks for the sun.
When the sun comes out
it stretches up past the grass
as far as it can.
It spreads out its petals
as wide as possible
so that it can soak up
as much sun as possible.

That kind of work isn’t easy.
It is tiring to keep up.
It is exhausting to not waste one second
of the day.

And it is stressful
when the sky is overcast
and all that work
isn’t earning as much sunlight on average.

The flower hasn’t gotten as tall
as it would like.
It has many more years
to work hard
before it can rest.

Truthfully, it doesn’t miss the days
of feeling colorful.
Sadness isn’t necessary.
Joy doesn’t sound good.

When the flower gets big and tall and strong
but its petals are a drab green,
the flower hopes
that others will mistake him as a weed
and just keep walking.

Keep My Shape

Keep My Shape
by Gabe


I’m a circle
in a world full of rectangles.

I’ve been inserted
against their sharp corners
and flat edges.

I pushed hard
to keep my shape
and it turned out
that I was exactly
what the rectangles needed
to succeed.

But there are so many of them
and there
is only one of me.

Being that
I am playing on their puzzle board,
I am very eager
to prove myself.

They are just as eager
to prove themselves to me.