Lina Cuartas's Blog, page 2

Meditation #13 The Gift of a Home to Call my Own

Meditation #13 The Gift of a Home to Call my Own
It has taken me so long to focus my mind and sit down and write this meditation, and I can only blame it on the avalanche of feelings it has precipitated. It is introduced by the words: 
Let your Heart be sincere. 
Be Steadfast. 
Don't fall apart when disaster comes. 
I tried a week ago, as I was traveling back home, at the Panamá airport, when my h
eart was torn between the loves I left behind and the ones that missed me terribly and couldn't wait to have me back at home. I also watched as thousands of people saw their own homes under water, the certainties of their routines blown away by a monster storm, and I started my week-long untangling of the mystery of what Home means. The meditation invites us to look back at that first departure from home, to the challenging environment of school, where rules were different, new grown-ups abounded and little ones who dealt with the first day of school in so many different ways were all around.
For me this image immediately related to what I have been experiencing with my daughter, who just left home to go to school, but this time it took her far away, and she is still trying to cope with her homesickness. Yet, I saw how she was overwhelmed by a feeling of inadequacy as she came back home and visited with friends and even us, the people she so terribly missed. Interestingly, she felt she did not belong here either. Home is such an abstract idea, and yet we assign its weight to concrete things. Being an immigrant makes you realize that home can be a divided place in your heart, the homeland where you leave your beloved roots, but also can be re-crafted in the new location you have chosen to plant new dreams and hopes. Then, as life in its never ceasing flow of experiences, uproots you and sometimes takes everything away from you, you realize home is more related to a myriad of feelings of safety, of comfort, of familiarity and belonging. I am watching the victims of Sandy's wrath bracing for yet another threat, and how their lack of basic services is severely affecting their sense of being provided for and acknowledged. I can only pray that the misery is not compounded by the new storm, and realize how frail our certainties, however solid they seem, really are. Nature has a way of humbling our arrogance that nothing else achieves, and the lesson within the tragedy is the urgent need to cherish and value every little comfort and develop resilience and most importantly: an ever-present sense of gratitude for the daily miracles that surround us.
With love,
Lina.

Invitation to Come Into My World

Before posting the pre-reading, pre-writing and then subsequent readings of spanish books to guide the process of Spanish teaching at home, it is important to point out that the journey towards language acquisition and its maturation begin in early infancy, even in the womb.
Every maturation activity contributes to prepare the brain and the body of the baby to move from talking and listening to comprehend the more complex processes of human communication.
In our book, Come Into My World, we describe 365 activities for children between 0 and 5 years of age (which is merely a practical classification, the text is useful with older children and has even been used as a tool to help people recovering from a psychological trauma). These proposals cover a wide range of life experiences which help to prepare the future reader to explore letters and learn about their power. 
Every activity of rhythm and music, rhyme, stories, poetry, tongue-twisters, aid 
in maturing listening skills and the awareness of rhythms and rhyme in spoken language.
Every exercise of graphic practice, even as simple as doodling, edifies spatial relationships, directionality, and the specific exercises that I will describe will prepare the brain for reading. Just as a Child invites us in the introduction to Come Into My World:
"So let's fall in love together,
Let's find the magic in a drop of morning dew. Let's enjoy all the range of colors waiting to be spotted in the sky, from the sun's first rays to the sunset at the end of each day.
Look into my eyes and lead me.
Watch me closely, and you will realize that I also have much to teach you!

Meditation #12 The Eyes that See Good Everywhere

Meditation #12 The Eyes that See Good Everywhere
There is such an inherent complexity in the human condition! This week's Meditation calls us to reflect on all the Goodness we have received through out our lives, especially as we started to walk and eat and develop independence skills, that allowed us to progress into toddlerhood. As last week, I began by describing the negligences that had brought my family to its knees, praying for Divine Intervention so that my Mother could recover, I had no hint that within a single week I would be exposed to such a flood of intense emotions. It truly was a roller coaster ride, and I feel so much more intensely alive having flexed the muscles of my human-ness, but I am convinced that I come out, still holding my head up, because I manage to hold on to my vision; which actively seeks to try to see good everywhere. From the surrender to the helplessness that I felt at being far away as my mom suffered, to the elation of having friends from all around offering support and prayers, to the pursuit of new projects, the opportunities to meet new people who were willing to open their hearts and share their stories, to the expectation of seeing my daughter who needed to come home to refuel her soul, the freshness of a blooming rose we saw in the promise of a new bride and groom committing to share their lives, and the thrill of rejoicing together at the promise of a new home where love will abound. I danced, I cried, I laughed, I told stories, I humbly accepted the power of the flow of life and surrendered to it. I said goodbye to loved ones in order to allow the possibility of once again hugging and greeting still more loved ones and my heart is full with the discovery that life has so many hidden drawers where emotion is stored. We have so many nooks and crannies of feeling and when we open up ourselves to the majestic tide of life, it feeds every little crevice, rounding up the form, making us more human, allowing us to feel more connected to every other fellow Earth creature, submerged as we all are in the daily renewal of possibility: as long as we keep our eyes open to the good in everything. I have awoken in a magical place called Canelot, where neglected and abandoned dogs of all sizes find a home, and the excitement for the new day was palpable as soon as the sun peeked out. Feed us, they seemed to chant, come join us to cherish the gift of this new day! With all kinds of neat feelings brimming in my heart,Lina.

Meditation#11 Negligences

Meditation#11 Negligences
This weekend has been an incredible roller coaster of emotions… My mother required a very serious surgery and from afar I felt like I was holding the world upon my shoulders, longing to let it go like a pendulum, but without the certainty that if I did I would be able to breathe easier. I confess I had not even thought about this week’s meditation, but when I saw its title: Negligences, once again the perfection of the Divine Plan forced me down on my knees.Today my mother has not had a good day, she still has not been able to eat and experienced renal failure, but thanks to the outrage that my sister rightfully expressed, we found out that a group of five specialists never had the decency to predict that after the operation the information about her routine medications would be necessary for her recovery protocol and most alarmingly, a medication that must not be suspended suddenly was withdrawn with no regards to the tragic complications that irresponsibility could entail: summarizing; very costly negligences.Medical negligences, as dangerous and lethal as the negligences that we are invited to reflect upon on our meditation for this week. It takes us back to the time when we were defenseless, and either due to lack of resources or attention on our caretakers’ part, we felt cold, hunger, discomfort, loneliness or pain, and perhaps our feelings of deprivation or insufficiency of might be in fact related to those negligences we experienced as infants.The assignment is to forgive those oversights, applying the balsam of acceptance on those old wounds and using that very same pain in order to be more understanding with those who experience neglect in their lives, frequently, more severe and damaging than any we have experienced. Healing these old bruises and concretely, the feeling of lack, will allow us to reflect on the blessings provided by our current resources that allow us to fulfill our needs or conversely, communicate in an effective and clear way when we feel that our rights, needs or feelings are not being adequately addressed.Brimming with gratitude I witnessed the situation in which my sister could be the agent that identified the need for alarm and triggered the search for a solution. I still am ignorant of the outcome of this unfolding ordeal in my life, but I hope to learn humility as I relent to depending on others in order to survive this difficulty, empathy with those who day by day feel neglected in one way or another and the growing conviction that thanks to each moment of cold, hunger or pain, we grow in humanity and we learn to feed from manna that flows from our own heart as we let go and become fully aware that it is not us who make the world turn, and that it truly does not rest on our shoulders.With love and humility,Lina.

Meditation #10 The Healing Touch of Human Hands

Meditation #10 The Healing Touch of Human Hands

This is truly a topic where life has revealed its secrets to me in powerful ways. It began when I volunteered as a teen at an adoption house. It was a setting where I was supposed to teach children to read and write, but something powerful drew me to the neonatal wing, where Sister Nora, who took me under her wing eagerly, told me that what those babies needed more than anything, was to be held. The ones who did not make it did simply lacked enough holding, caressing and human contact. I remember feeling so useful, so important, so loved, by holding those tiny bodies, some so light that they managed to hold no heat of their own, requiring the “kangaroo” treatment, being held close to my body and inside my clothing, in a ready-made pouch of love. Some of those babies had been left in plastic bags at the door of the adoption house, discarded like trash, but only those who were held survived. That is the power of the Human touch.I also remember watching a movie that was brutal in its sincerity, “Life as a House”, in which a man with an illness of the soul more severe than his illness of the body was hugged by a nurse and literally dissolved in helplessness and relief, realizing how long he had not felt the power of human contact, how desperate, how utterly lost he had become without the warmth of a caring human hand communicating love to him.Within the American culture, I was told not to hug too much or dare to touch my student’s hair, as they loved for me to do, since it could be seen in the wrong way. I grieved for a society where touch has become associated with threat, but life in its mysterious ways reminded me that Truth does not remain hidden for long.  About three years ago, I was led to discover Reiki, the therapy that heals with human hands. I was told all about its ancient origins and its carefully detailed technique, and though I respect its method, at its core, I believe that its life-changing effects reside in the simple act of total surrender to other’s hands, to the healing energy provided by the will of someone who cares enough to touch your skin and desires to help you realign your body, your mind and your soul, reminding you that you are tremendously loved, important and unique. Perhaps what those hands are in fact doing is allowing us to rewind to those first months of life when we were held, touched and fed by the human hands of those who cared for us. During this week, look back with gratitude in search for all of those who have fed your being with the magic of touch. There may have been pain in some of the contacts you experienced, but focus on the love you have received, the powerful embraces, the relief of holding a hand when you felt helpless, a kiss of delight at the sight of you, the group hug of good friends offering support, the invisible one offered by a voice in the distance or a message of care within the power of new media. Inhale this healing power and venture with your own hands to heal those who might need a hug, a kiss, a warm hand on their back, reassuring them you have their back and reminding them that you love them and can feed them with your powerful human touch. With a hug and a kiss,Lina.

Meditation #9 The Richness of Lack

Meditation #9 The Richness of Lack
Last week we surrendered to the river of our tears, and now we move on to the joy found within our infant hearts. We were fresh, like rosebuds. We were held wide open by expectation, by a permanent sense of awe, and an eager senses stance towards life and the world. Yesterday, as I was kayaking, I was reminded of this intense excitement by a baby who waved enthusiastically as I rowed by. I had quietly been navigating up the river for at least an hour and many people had seen me from the riverbed, but no one had jumped up and down and squealed in delight when they saw me, only a baby could have done that. I remembered how I had been confused frequently when I first came to this country and I continued to smile at everyone I saw and naturally, greeted fellow walkers or joggers spontaneously. I was befuddled because most did not return my greeting or looked taken aback, but now I am used to it and rarely acknowledge the people I encounter. But seeing that baby’s joy reminded me of the wisdom found only in little ones, the thirst for life and zest for every new experience that makes a baby shudder and stare upon the simple encounter of another first…What a loss it is to atrophy the will to seek connection, to reach out and meet another human being. We are born with an intense desire to look into another human being’s face, to get lost in the features of another, connect with their eyes and explore their humanity. We bring gallons of desire, of interest, of will, curiosity and hunger and then life dulls our rainbow of intentions. Within our lack of distractions, things and preoccupations in early life, we were wealthy in intensity of feeling alive. Let’s look back at that time before the fears, the doubts and the conditioning of social norms restrained our natural reactions to the thrills of Living. Being human in totality of experience is our true career calling. I have often found this spontaneity of Being in people who seem to have very little in material possessions, such as the natives I met in the Amazon. They had no access to technology and our conveniences and comforts, but they had the luxury of presence, of community and of total surrender to the moment. They live fully committed to the experience of their here, their now: like babies. The world had been unfolding for centuries before we joined it, and it will continue to spin around without us when we leave this terrestrial existence, but this life we have been offered is our opportunity to squeeze the fruits pertaining to being human. I challenge you to live each day like a baby, unpacking it like a precious gift, exhausting the possibilities of existence and realizing that by focusing in that richness of life, you will lose your fear of death and find the key to real wealth: a life with no regrets. With love,Lina.

Meditation #4 "Inside The Golden Cocoon"

Meditation #4 "Inside The Golden Cocoon"I am sitting by the ocean, the waves crash against the shore and the sound is so hypnotic, soothing, repetitive, and yet, always new. I imagine that's how life felt inside the warm, all-encompassing liquid medium that held me inside my mother's womb. Today I was pondering how Life is such a liquid medium too. Just a week ago, tears of grief were flowing from my eyes, as I let go of a butterfly and saw her soar on strong wings, far, far away. Today, my heart soars like she did, with gratitude and joy. I simmer in the pure, simple joy of being alive, letting the sun kiss my body and the wind tousle my hair every which way... Today I want to take your hand and lead you back to that magical time when your life was entwined and completely dependant on the Mother that offered her body as your Home. I wonder what if felt like to BE devoted simply to being, surrendering wholly to the slow unfolding of my existence. To change from a tiny embryo that resembled more a seahorse than a human being unfolding and then feel the structures of my tiny body being perfected, cultivated for specialization, prepared for their unique, specific purpose. Oh, if we could continue to surrender to life in such a way even when we leave the Golden Cocoon. Today, as I lay by the Mother of all Waters, I let go of the need to be busy, to know what my day will achieve and what I will do and I let my mind take me back to that state of expectation, of being held, without anchor or hoist, just floating, letting processes unfold on their own accord, at their own schedule, maturing into realization of the plan written within my own genetic material. When I was just a tiny baby, was I willing to let physiology melt me,like a caterpillar does before it can be housed inside a Golden Cocoon?Now, as I meditate about that stage of becoming a completely new creature, whether my time in the womb was short, or tinged with uncertainty, can I renew my surrender to Life in order to grow in Patience and allow time and the wisdom of nature to fully ignite the being I was meant to be; a lovingly created creature growing my wings before flying off into a new life.With love, Lina.

MEDITATION #8 Easing Into the River of our Tears

MEDITATION #8 Easing Into the River of our Tears
I woke up to find a tiny bird who had drowned in our pool today. It was a powerful metaphor for this invitation that I kept postponing to ease into the river of our tears.  We are led to ponder about the tears we shed as babies and the ones we hesitate to allow to flow as adults. I thought it was particularly ironic that the tiny bird I found had died, suffocated by the very element he so thirstily had longed for. I have also felt drowned in liquid sorrow this past week. There was a death in our community, and though I did not know the young man whose death left so much confusion and pain behind, my written words were called to be part of the healing process and I was humbled to realize I was just being an instrument, helping to clarify the message of hope and love this young man’s life had planted in so many lives. Simultaneously, I was aware of my own daughter’s pain, who happens to be the same age as the young man being mourned, dealing with the challenge of starting a new life on her own. My mother has also been shedding tears of pain and desperation and I have navigated her feelings of helplessness with her. One of my best friends has just embarked upon a new challenge of higher learning and she is expected to write and read proficiently in English, and she feels unfit and incompetent in that respect, and has been brought to tears by her frustration. I was even gifted the opportunity to be my husband’s nurse as he recovered from minor surgery, and though I did not see him shed any tears, I did see him surrender to humility and resignation and allow me to serve him while his body healed.As babies, we were powerful within our tears. They allowed us to communicate hunger, discomfort, exasperation or plain exhaustion and they were our right, our means to an end, and we used them without hesitation. When did our tears become a source of shame, guilt or embarrassment? Whether we were neglected or tended to, our tears were a powerful means of expression and a blessing, and we can reclaim that meaning for them. I willingly dove into the river of tears that surrounded me this week. I shed my own. I comforted, shared, listened and let my heart inhabit the healing flow. I dissolved my own fears and pain as I joined others’ sadness and by letting go, I re-discovered the bond of One-ness that bonds us within our shared humanity. Tears are blessing rain which allow us to evolve and fertilize the blooms of tomorrow. Rites of passage in life often require us to feel the pain today in order to rejoice in the evolution that the next chapter will reveal as the progression unfolds. Jump into the river of your tears without reservation, fear or hesitation. The river of our tears will lead us, eventually, to the ocean of empathy and serenity.With love, Lina.

Meditation #2 Every drop of water, every leaf on every tree, every petal of every flower, UNIQUE!

Meditation #2 Every drop of water, every leaf on every tree, every petal of every flower, UNIQUE!

Before I was held in the safety of the womb, I was already contained in the Being of God, whose breath infuses every living thing with purpose. I have been cherished and known forever. 
From the vastness of being encompassed by the massive universality of cosmic powder, we are focusing now on the minu
te, the individual, the tiny pieces of the puzzle that allow the whole to attain its strength and beauty, its complete-ness.
I envision the day before I was a spark of life; combustion created by the fusion of two beings coinciding in intention and relenting to my desire to enter the world. I had been held an cherished for all Eternity in the mind and heart of God.
I am pure presence. What was that pre-existence like?
Did I fervently wish to Be? Where was I? I can see myself as an energy, a light, realizing an imminent, dramatic change. I was required to leave everything I knew, everything I had, and enter a world of complicated strangers, arriving poor, defenseless, tiny and to make matters even worse, naked! Was I ready to come when I was sent? I do not know many of the answers, but if God's plan for the world included my presence in it, I accept the invitation. I am willing to live in the world, fully and intensely, knowing I will be guided, held, and instrumental within the artistry of the design of it all. Just as every drop of water is unique when seen under a microscope, every leaf distinct and every petal on every flower adds to the majesty of its bearer, I too have my individual vitality and my place in the world.
Ponder on your own individuality, imagine your pre-existence and journal and use your creativity as this week unfolds to relive your time as pure potentiality.  




With love, 

Lina.

Meditation #7 The Power of Surrender

Meditation #7 The Power of Surrender
Every time I hold a baby, I fall in love. I am seduced by that total faith, that surrender to my embrace, the confident grasp that instinctively seeks my fingers and holds on tight, searching into my eyes to absorb my soul through that exchanged gaze and the spell is fully cast by that flicker of light when recognition and the thrill of exploring a human face ignites the connection. I love the smell of a baby, the feeling of light and love that seems to envelop us both as we cuddle and then the delight when that baby gifts me with a chuckle! I had one such moment this week, and it fed me enough love to last all month, and it allowed me to open the memories of what it mush have felt like to be wrapped within loving arms, looking up and hoping that sturdy embrace meant this big person would know how to decipher me, feed me when I felt hungry, figured out how to relieve my discomfort and cared enough to explore my being and tell me I was loved. Can we find still find within ourselves that willingness to let go? To trust in others and allow them to grow by being our caregivers, our helpers, our source of love, comfort, laughter, wisdom or simple presence? It is so easy to become trapped in the delusion of being self-sufficient, self-conscious, to believe everybody is watching to see your failures, or your weaknesses or deficiencies, and to refuse to ask for help, reach out for comfort and allow others to be the source of what we need. In Spanish, we frequently say “me da pena”, the closest translation would be “it embarrases me”, and it frequently is applied to a situation where we will be exposed as vulnerable, lacking, needy or weak. But most often, it just means recognizing we are human and incomplete, and need the skills, the help, the cooperation of a team or maybe just one friend, to help us through and allow us to cross the threshold into realizing that it is in fact empowering and revealing to surrender, to allow another to hold us, feed us, listen to us and perhaps heal us by looking into our eyes and either by laughing along or joining our tears, serving us and opening our hearts once again, making us realize we have never really been alone. From the beginning we have been held, despite our broken, undeserving selves, we have been mended and tended, and this surrender is how we learn to trust not only others, but ourselves, in order to live without fear, and within love.
With love, Lina.